THE MOONY MAIDEN
a fanfic by Dubs Rewatcher
“...And, well, you see, I mean, Princess, Your Highness, well, if you would...”
Princess Celestia stifled a yawn. She wasn’t sure how long the gray unicorn in front of her had been babbling. There was a reason she ran Day Court, not Night Court. Celestia was almost beginning to feel sorry for her sister; but not quite. She was still a bit peeved that Luna had left her to take over for the night.
‘This is supposed to be Luna’s job,” she thought. At that moment she also noticed: the unicorn had stopped talking, and he was now looking up at her expectantly. “Oh, what was his petition? Think...uh...’
The Princess cleared her throat and put on her poker face, a millenia in the making. “Thank you, my little pony. I have heard and understood your concerns, and I will be sure to take them into consideration. Have a wonderful night.”
The stallion’s smile weakened a bit, but he still bowed and exited the room quietly. Celestia let out a sigh of relief. “That was a close one.” she murmured to no one in particular. Somewhere in the back of her mind, something began yelling at her.
‘Why are you doing this again?’
“Why, to help my dearest little sister, of course.”
‘Why can’t she do it herself? She has a mouth.’
“Oh, because she’s too busy doing...”
It was at that moment that the Sun Princess realized that she had absolutely no idea why Luna couldn’t run her own court for the night. What had she said...?
Despite the propaganda stating that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, Celestia honestly believed that role went to dessert. Especially when it was made by the royal chefs. Sitting in front of her, filling its gold container to the brim, was the most beautiful crème brûlée she had ever seen. Just perfect for the one night of the week Luna and she reserved for a meal together.
Luna too enjoyed the sugary custard, however, tonight she simply stared at its yellow surface with what looked to be a mix of confusion and intrigue.
Celestia dipped a fork into the brûlée. “So, Luna, how have things been going?”
“Well.”
The elder sister waited for the younger to elaborate. Nothing happened. “...I see. No problems with the stars, or anything.”
“No,” Luna said. Before Celestia could respond, the dark alicorn stood up. “If th...you wouldst allow it, dear sister, I would like to be excused. It seems that I have forgotten something of the utmost importance, and I must attend to it immediately.”
Celestia stared at Luna for a moment. “Luna never misses crème brûlée night!” the elder thought. “I...well. If you really must go, Luna, I suppose I can’t stop you. I just hate to see ou-”
“Thank you!” Luna cheered. With a flash and a pop, the Princess was gone, leaving Celestia alone with her dessert.
The white alicorn made a plan to visit her sister’s chambers once everypony was gone. Well...she would see how tired she was before she made any rash decisions. Holding back another yawn, the Princess leaned over to see just how far back the line of petitioners went. There were at least two dozen more ponies of all shapes and sizes waiting to spend a moment with their dear leader.
Celestia nickered as the next pony, a young yellow earth mare, took her place and bowed.
This was going to be a long night.
The Sun Princess’ golden horseshoes clicked against the floor as she made her way through the empty hallways of the palace. As she rounded a corner, the entrance to Luna’s private chambers came into view. The room was marked by two massive black-white-and-purple doors, ornately designed with spikes, stars, moons, and various other heavenly bodies. On either side stood two dark gray pegasi, dressed in armor resembling that of a dragon’s scales.
The armor-clad soldiers jumped at the sight of their majestic ruler. “My lord!” both yelped in unison, hitting the ground in some terrified version of a bow. “Your Highness, is there anything that you need?”
“All I wish is to see my sister,” Celestia responded, taking a step toward the door. “If you would, please.”
However, instead of stepping aside like the guards usually did, the two stayed still. They exchanged nervous glances. “Uh...well, you see, Princess,” the one on the right began. “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”
This caught the Princess off-guard. “What?” she yelped. The soldiers flinched. “I mean...why not?”
“Her Royal Highness has specifically requested no visitors be allowed to enter.”
“And why is that?”
The two guards looked at each other. “We...are not sure,” the one on the left responded.
Celestia sighed. “There's no need to worry. I only wish to spend a minute with her, then I’ll be out of your manes for the night. Is that alright with you?”
Once again, the pegasi’s eyes met. However, this time, they moved away from the door to let Princess Celestia through. With a smile, she slowly nudged open her sister’s door. The structures made no sound as they happily complied to the Sun Princess’ hoof.
“Luna?” she called. “Are you still awake?” She took another step in.
Sitting on the blue velvet covers of a large canopy bed was the Alicorn of the Night herself, Princess Luna. Luna didn't seem to notice the intruder. She was staring intently at a large notebook, a quill grasped firmly with magic at her side. A wooden abacus sat on her left, propped up against a pillow. She was murmuring something to it.
"Nay, Abby...it appears that I have utilized the word 'immediately' far too often for it to be recommended!"
Celestia passed through the doorway. It closed behind her with an echoing 'thud.'
Luna jumped at her sister's sudden appearance, quite like how the pegasi had reacted earlier. But instead of bowing, the blue alicorn immediately flung her papers into a blue chest across the room. She spun around with a grin plastered onto her face.
"Greetings, ou- my dear sister! What brings you to my humble bedroom this night?"
"A...good evening to you too, Luna," Celestia answered, an eyebrow raising. "I was wondering what was so important that you had to miss crème brûlée night, but now I see you were working on something."
Luna's smile faltered. "Oh, um...yes. I was working, and that is why I could not attend Night Court. Yes."
"Care to tell me on what?"
Now Luna’s smile was completely gone. Her lips were parted slightly, completing the look of shock started by her wide teal eyes. “We...I...nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Well,” Celestia began, moving around the room, “at least your speaking skills are improving.” She arrived at the box, in which lay Luna’s notebook. “What was it you were writing?”
“I, um, uh...a...letter?”
“A letter?”
Luna hesitated for a moment before nodding vigorously. “Yes! A letter! That’s it!”
“To whom, if I may ask?”
“...Um.”
Celestia allowed herself a small smile. “Who, little sister? I’m waiting.”
“That...is not of your concern. What, has the concept of privacy been completely abolished in the past thousand years?!” Luna suddenly snapped. Celestia jumped away from the chest and held her hooves up defensively. Luna’s grimace faded, only to be replaced by a look of regret. “Oh, sister, I apologize. I’m just a little tired, is all.” She walked to her sister’s side and gave a small nuzzle. “Please forgive me.”
“It’s fine, Little Lulu. No need to be upset,” Celestia cooed, returning her sister’s gesture. "In any case, I'm glad you're writing. Reading and writing are the best way to learn a language. Or relearn, in your case."
Luna smiled.
With that, Celestia moved away from her sister and toward the doorway. "Well, I'll leave you to your work. But do try to get some rest, okay? I don't want a repeat of the socks incident."
The blue alicorn, still smiling, rolled her eyes. "Do not worry, sister. I only wish to write a few more lines."
"That's good to hear. Love you." Celestia closed the door behind her.
"That was far too close to be comfortable, Abby." Luna murmured, floating her notebook back to the bed. "Now, back to work. The fans demand it of me!"
The denizens of Canterlot Castle were understandably surprised when their leader, the glorious Princess Celestia, came trotting through the main hallways, carrying a large hammer and yelling her sister’s name.
“Lunaaaaaaa! Oh Lunaaaaaaa! Where are youuuuu?”
Celestia had been ruling Equestria for long enough that she was able to take the terrified stares she was receiving. Luna was late for their bi-weekly croquet game, and the immortal Goddess of the Sun was not about to play another match with the mortal Prince of Terrible, Blueblood.
Eventually, her search led the alicorn right back to the room she had visited just the other night: Unlike the Luna’s, these guards were used to their Princess sneaking up on them, and were not even fazed as the sight of the hammer. Instead, they simply stepped aside to let Celestia through.
Despite the ease of access, she had to think: “Some security you are!”
Celestia scanned the room. Unlike the other night, it was empty. The only thing she noticed was, on the bed, a sizable wooden abacus. It was propped upright on a pillow, as if it were taking a nap. Celestia approached the bed.
“I don’t suppose you know where my sister is, do you?”
The mathematical instrument offered no reply.
She sighed. “Of course not. Well, if you see her, tell her Ce-” She stopped. It had just occurred to her: she was talking to an abacus. It was the socks all over again! As Celestia silently cursed her sister, her magenta eyes scanned the rest of the large canopy bed. At this moment, she noticed that another object lay on the bed. Sitting daintily on the blue velvet covers, the smell of smoke wafting off of it, was an unopened scroll.
Was it from her student, Twilight Sparkle? Not many ponies had easy access to either dragons or even the Inardesco spell. But yet, it had a seal, something that the young unicorn almost never used. And the seal wasn’t a Royal Court one either. Instead of the usual golden horseshoe, there was a light blue quill.
Instinctively, the alicorn reached for the parchment with her magic. And just as quickly, she stopped. She had no right to go through her sister’s things. And especially not her mail.
“Mail...” The word echoed in Celestia’s head. She was reminded of Luna’s “letter” and how she had kept it a secret. The possibilities were endless! Maybe Luna had a student of her own? Maybe they were love letters? Maybe...she was in love with her student!
“Screw privacy, I have power!” Celestia yelped, snatching the scroll off the bed. With a ‘pop’ it unfurled. Celestia read:
Dear Moony Maiden,
Your story ‘Element of Lust’ is being tra
But that was as far as Celestia got before the scroll burst into a pyre of blue flame. Celestia shrieked before throwing it into the air. There, it was quickly enveloped by a soft blue glow and began to drift slowly downward. Celestia spun to see where it was going, only to come face-to-face with her sister.
“WHY ART THOU IN OUR CHAMBERS?!” Luna screamed, the Royal Canterlot Voice beginning to peek out.
"Oh, L-Luna! I...I didn't-"
"SILENCE! THY WORDS MEAN NOTHING TO US NOW! LEAVE THIS PLACE, AND DO NOT RETURN!" Luna shrieked. Her horn began to glow with the same blue light that had taken the paper.
Celestia winced, mentally preparing herself for whatever it was her sister had in store for her. There was a high-pitched whining...then silence. Opening her eyes, the white alicorn quickly realized: the set of purple eyes she was now staring into were not Luna's.
"P-Princess?!" Twilight sputtered, jumping back from her desk, which now creaked under Celestia's weight. “What...How did you get here?”
“I’m not completely sure,” Celestia replied, glancing around the new room. It was dark, and filled to the brim with machines and science equipment; Twilight’s lab, more commonly known as the basement. “That was quick,” she thought. The Sun Princess could feel something squirming underneath her. Quickly, she jumped off the wooden table, and turned back to see what she had been sitting on. Lying face up, strapped down by tight leather bands, was Spike.
The baby dragon gasped for breath. “Oh man! *huff* I thought I’d never get out of there!”
Celestia’s gaze switched between the unicorn and her assistant. “I...What did I interrupt here?”
Twilight blinked. “Research.”
If Celestia had remembered correctly, Luna’s secret letter had mentioned a story. That meant all she had to do to find said story was visit one building: the Supreme Equestrian Library.
Located in downtown Canterlot, the Supreme Equestrian Library, or SEL for short, was a large marble building, almost as regal-looking as the castle itself. That day, Celestia(flanked by multiple guards) stood on the cobblestone path that led into it, staring straight into its doors. A chill breeze wafted by, sending anypony not frozen in shock at the sight of their leader in town scrambling to find someplace warm.
The SEL wasn’t like most libraries. While most libraries ran on donations, and possible government funding, the SEL ran on one thing, and one thing only: magic. Through a certain spell, invented and cast by the founder, Page Turner, every single thing that had ever been written was contained in this library. Books, letters, receipts...they were all there.
Celestia, as much as she hated to admit it...had no idea how the system actually worked. It was some complex spell...and that’s as far as she got. It had occurred to her multiple times since its founding about five-hundred years ago that the process probably invaded multiple laws about privacy, and that even she was subject to it’s power, but... The SEL was one of two things in the world she would never understand(the other being magnets).
"Wait here." she muttered to a guard on her left. The large golden doors of the library opened before her, revealing a dimly lit corridor that led into the main atrium.
Ignoring the ogles and bowing ponies, Celestia made her way to the front desk. A beige unicorn stallion was flipping through the pages of a book, stopping every few moments to push his oversized glasses back up his muzzle. Celestia wasn't able to see his cutie mark from behind the desk. In a fashion highly unusual for Equestrian citizens, he didn't even seem to notice the fact that the Alicorn of the Day was standing approximately two hooves away from him.
She waited for a moment. The bespectacled pony didn’t look up. Another unicorn, who seemed to be a co-worker of some sort, sat next to him. However, this mare had noticed Celestia, and was trying to suppress screaming in pure terror. She was failing. By the time she kicked the stallion, the pink mare was holding both hooves to her mouth, just to keep her lips closed.
Bookmark, still clamping her lips shut, motioned with her eyes to the imposing white figure, standing less than a pony-length away. Celestia cleared her throat.
The beige pony, for the first time, looked up. “Oh, uh, welcome to...Princess Ce- I m-mean, uh, welcome, Princess Celestia...to our humble library.” He tried to stand(most likely just so he could proceeed to bow), but found trouble pushing his chair back; it had gotten caught on the ornate carpeting.
After a few awkward moments filled with the sounds of nothing but confused stuttering, Celestia decided to be merciful, and simply held up a hoof denoting silence. The chair-challenged worker stopped cold. The Princess smiled. “Listen, Mr...?”
“I, oh, um-”
“Right.” Celestia interrupted. “Mr. Iohum. I’m looking for a specific author, and I figured that you might have her work.”
For once, ‘Mr. Iohum’ seemed to beam with pride. “Yes, Ma’am! We here at the Supreme Equestrian Library have every little thing your heart would ever desire! If you would just give me the author’s name, I can go find it for you!”
“Of course. Now, the author I am looking for is named: ‘Moony Maiden.’”
Immediately, Iohum’s face flushed bright red. Celestia’s smile disappeared. The stallion broke eye contact. ”Oh, uh, Princess...with all due respect, of course, are...are you sure that you have the right author?” he said.
“Yes.”
“O-Of course. I apologize for doubting you.” He turned away. “Any...any specific title?”
Celestia thought for a moment. She knew it probably wouldn’t look good, but... “I’m looking for Elements of Lust.”
“Element.” he replied.
“Hm?”
“You- I mean, nothing, nothing. Just wait for one moment, if you would.” He disappeared into the valley of shelves behind the desk.
The Princess glanced around the atrium of the SEL. Most of the ponies had stopped staring at her, and those who still were quickly shifted their gaze when she looked back at them. Eventually, her scan led her to the bright blue eyes of Bookmark, Iohum’s fellow book keeper. They locked eyes. Celestia flashed the mare a toothy grin, one that shouted: “Hi! Don’t be afraid, I’m your friend!”
Bookmark’s eyes delivered a quick response: “PLEASE DON’T EAT ME I’M SO SORRY.”
“Okay...” Iohum mumbled as he returned to the desk. An embarrassed glint in his eye, he levitated a surprisingly large leather-bound book over to her. Celestia quickly took control of it.
“This should be it...NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” he suddenly yelped. Now everypony within a three yard radius was staring. “I mean...Is there anything else you need, Your Highness?”
Celestia turned away. “That should be all, thank you.”
With a contented sigh, Celestia snuggled into the velvet pillows that lined her bed and levitated a mug of hot cocoa to her lips. Next to her, balanced carefully on an extra pillow, was a full plate of freshly-baked oatmeal-raisin cookies; her favorite. She licked away her chocolate moustache. Time to get reading.
The book was bound in dark red leather, indicating that whoever had published this had to have been very wealthy. In gold lettering, the cover read: ‘ELEMENT OF LUST.’ And on the bottom, ‘MOONY MAIDEN.’
The white alicorn giggled as she opened to the first page. “It was a dark and stormy night...”
Six full hours passed before Celestia looked up again. And when she did, she nearly jumped. “Where was I?” she said to herself. “The book...”
The book. It had been...interesting, to say the least. It had started out as a very simple story. It started out with an antagonist that Celestia remembered well: Tirek, the Centaur of Shadow. He had been somehow brought back to life(the details were a bit rushed at that part). In a surprise for Celestia, the main characters also happened to be ponies she knew quite well: Twilight Sparkle and her friends, the Elements of Harmony. They, of course, attempted to destroy Tirek with the Elements, only to find that they were ineffective.
That was when the book took a turn for the strange. Twilight found some old book that told her about a seventh element, one that was even stronger and rarer than Magic. Lust. So, Twilight gathered up her friends, and she teaches them about the strange new element. In detail. With multiple “lessons” for each pony. Per chapter.
Compared to the...learning chapters, the final battle against Tirek was nothing at all. It barely lasted a chapter, if that. It too, was described in full detail.
Even so, Celestia had to admit, it had been engaging. Maybe it was just the cocoa, but for the first time in decades, the Princess of the Sun actually felt uncomfortably warm. With a flash of her horn, the windows flew open, sending a cold breeze rushing through. “That feels good...”
After a moment, her gaze returned to the scandalous pages of the book. Had Luna actually written this? When? More importantly, how? There were things in this story that Celestia had no idea Luna even knew about(they may have both been thousands of years old, but that didn’t stop Celestia from being just a bit overprotective). Not to mention the language...
She needed to talk to her sister about this.
Things had been a bit awkward since the whole “Celestia Reading Luna’s Mail and Luna Teleporting Celestia to Ponyville” incident. Of course, when Celestia returned, they had both apologized profusely. But they still hadn’t been able to make eye contact for the past few days. This was why it was so quiet when Celestia entered the Royal Dining Hall, only to find Luna already sitting in her chair, across from Celestia’s.
Servants brought out their meals when Celestia sat. The two ate in deafening silence for a few minutes.
“So,” Celestia began, “Luna.”
“Sister.”
“...How’s life?”
“Good, I suppose. And...how is yours?”
Celestia daintily wiped her mouth. “Fine. I just finished a very interesting book.”
Luna froze for a split-second. “I see.”
“I honestly wasn’t expecting much from something called Elements of Lust.”
Luna stared into her salad, the dark fur on her face having turned a deep red. “Element.”
“Ah, so you know it,” Celestia said, smiling.
“Yes,” Luna replied. She took in a deep breath. “I wrote it.”
“I figured as much. Luna...that book was very inappropriate. Not to mention who it was about.”
Before Celestia could say any more, the dark alicorn was at her sister’s hooves, prostrating herself to the elder princess. “Oh, my sister, I am sorry! I was aware of how wrong it was to pen such a thing, but I did it anyway! It was a moment where I was having weakness! I promise you, I shall burn every copy-”
“Luna, breathe!” Celestia yelped. “I’m not angry with you!”
Luna sniffled. “You...you are not?”
“No. Luna, even if I did object to the content a bit...your story was remarkably well-written.”
Now Luna was just gaping, still on her knees. “It was?”
Celestia gestured for her sister to stand. “Yes, considering you’re still learning modern Equestrian. Some parts could have been lengthened and...well, others could have been shortened a bit. And I noticed a couple of grammatical errors, but all in all, it was very good. I’m proud.”
“You are?!”
“Of course. I’ve never been very good when it comes to writing. It’s nice to see that one of us can do it.”
Luna blushed. “Thank you, sister. That may be the kindest thing anypony has ever said about one of my stories.”
This caught Celestia off-guard. “You have more?”
“Oh, do not worry, they are not as inappropriate,” Luna explained, waving a hoof. “Most of my stories are simply about day-to-day life. A few do not even have the Elements in them! It just so happens that the one you read is my most popular.” She held a hoof to her chin and looked thoughtfully at Celestia. “I have always found that strange.”
“Yes, well...things have changed in the time you were gone. In any case, I hope you know that I fully support you.” Celestia said. She stood and touched her nose to Luna’s. “And I hope that you’ll be willing to let me read the rest of your work, Miss Moony Maiden.”
The Princess of the Night smiled and nodded. “Of course, dear sister.”
Celestia, having finished her meal, stood up from her mahogany chair. “I hate to leave you, Luna, but it took me a while to read your book. I have some work to catch up on. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“It’s fine.” Luna returned to her seat, and let out a long sigh. “I’ve never liked keeping secrets; thank you for finding out.”
“You’re welcome.” The white alicorn walked through the large doorway, her prismatic tail disappearing behind dark wood. Luna grinned and bit down on her alfalfa, only to be interrupted as Celestia’s head popped back in.
“Luna, I wanted to ask you one more thing.”
“Yes, sister?”
“Do...do you take commissions?”
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own My Little Pony! That belongs to a bunch of people, including: Lauren Faust, Jayson Thiessen, and Brian Goldner.
