Soap

by Horrible Onion

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2734

Tragedy befalls Rarity in the form of the mysterious disappearance of one of Ponyville's most taken for granted commodities!

Follow the story of the intrepid adventurer Rarity as she attempts to accomplish one of life's most basic pursuits!
Chosen as a finalist for the Las Pegasus Unicon Fan Fic Contest which never actually happened due to... mismanagement.

Published 2013-02-28 08:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-28 08:50:01 UTC

Soap

“Sweetie Belle!” A damp and disgruntled Rarity fumes as she walks down the stairs still damp from her incomplete bath. “Where are my mineral soaps?”

Sweetie replies in a small voice. “Well… remember when I came home covered in soot and tree sap?”

Rarity’s ears fold back. “You didn’t use all of it did you?”

“You told me to use all of it actually because I was ‘utterly filthy and staining the carpet’ you made sure I used as much as possible, remember?” Rarity sighs.

“That does sound like something I would say… But I can’t go to the picnic smelling like this!” Sweetie belle hops over and puts her nose against Rarity’s coat.

“Smells fine to me.” Rarity begins pacing and talking to herself rather than Sweetie Belle.

“I have been working all day, I feel absolutely horrid. I cannot go out without a proper bath. I’ll just have to go buy some more from the spa.” She moves to the door and flips the open sign to ‘Closed’. “Sweetie? Can I trust you to watch the shop and not get into any trouble?”

“Of course! When have I ever let you down?”

“A-heh… Just stay and color or something I’ll be right back.” Rarity makes a quick check of the padlock on her gem chest, and then trots away.

A short walk later and she arrives at the one and pony Ponyville spa. She puts a hoof on the front door and stops.

“Closed?” Sure enough the closed sign is posted, visible through the glass door. “But they’re never closed on a weekday.” She puts a hoof over her brow to block the glare and peers inside. There is one of the spa sisters writing on a clipboard behind the counter. “Lotus!” Rarity waves at the blue mare with pleading look, getting her attention. Lotus sets down the clipboard, looks to her left down the hall, and then moves over to the door. She opens it with a nudge and pokes her head out.

“I am sorry miss Rarity; we won’t be able to accommodate you today it would seem…”

“Oh that’s alright, I’m just here to buy some of your mineral soap, and I know you’re closed, but it would only take a second I promise. You know what I always get anyway.” She bats her eyelashes once or twice before a sorrowful look comes upon Lotus’s face.

“I am sorry miss Rarity. We had to close because we have completely run out of soap. Unfortunately the next shipment is um…delayed... I am very sorry.” Lotus slowly closes the door and walks back inside before turning off the lights and moving into the back room.

“No soap…” Rarity appears to develop a twitch under her eye as she starts taking bigger breaths. “Now, it’s not so bad Rarity, no need to get worked up. I’ll just need to get some from Fluttershy; she usually has the same as me. Those twins are quite the sales ponies after all.” She says to herself as she makes her way down the street.

Rarity loves Ponyville. The relaxing down-to-earth vistas and friendly residents are enough to make every visitor consider moving. The one thing she wishes they would change however is the dirt roads. On dry days like today, the sparse crowds of ponies along with her own hoof steps kick up dust and it settles on everything. The white unicorn realizes she didn’t dry her coat properly when she left the Boutique earlier and frowns at the notion. It was supposed to be a short trip to the spa and back, she didn’t expect to be going all the way to Fluttershy’s.

Rarity walks up to Fluttershy’s cottage and gives a ladylike knock on the door. The quant vista is enough to calm Rarity’s nerves. The chirping birds swooping about the many bird houses and gentle warm breeze in the air, combined with the knowledge that soon she could prepare herself appropriately sets her at ease. The door slowly opens and the bashful yellow Pegasus pokes her head out and takes on a surprised look.

“Rarity? Oh is it time for the picnic already? I’m sorry for being late, I must have…” She speaks almost in a whisper.

“No, no, no, that’s not it at all dear. I’ve just had the worst thing happen, first I ran out of soap at the Boutique, then it turns out the spa has lost their supply as well. So I was just wondering if I may trouble you for…”

Fluttershy begins making circles in the ground with her hoof as she attempts to hide behind her rosy pink mane.

“You… do have some soap I could borrow… don’t you?” Rarity made a pleading look even though she knew what the answer is going to be just from Fluttershy’s face.

“I’m so sorry Rarity. But um… I used the last of what I had when I gave Mr. Bear a bath…”

Rarity’s twitch comes back and she looks like she is going to faint for a moment. “I guess I’ll have to use the… discount brands won’t I...”

“Well actually, um, you see I went to the general store and the stalls when I ran out because I needed to wash angel after he got into a fight with the beavers…”

Rarity turns on Fluttershy with a mix of emotions spread on her face. “Certainly you do not mean to say that in all of Ponyville…”

“… There’s um… no… soap.”

Animals jumped out of cages and sprang from fences when they heard the resulting scream. As Fluttershy is attempting to corral her loose critters, she tries to comfort her hysterical friend who is now crying. Albeit a little dramatically with her hoof on her forehead.

“Now, it’s not that bad Rarity, It won’t be long before someone gets more in I’m sure!” The chickens are moved into their coop and birds fly toward their homes again. “There are always other ways of staying clean! Have you tried just water?” Rarity’s sobbing became louder at the notion. And Fluttershy quickly puts a hoof on her shoulder. “Perhaps we could ask the others at the picnic? I am sure one of them has some to spare…”

Rarity lifts her head out of her hooves. “Yes, The picnic! Pinkie pie always has something stashed somewhere and maybe Twilight has a bar I could borrow. Oh but they will see me in such a sorry state…”

“Oh Rarity, we’re your friends we don’t mind, really. Your friends will always be there to help you.”

“Thank you Fluttershy. Let my wipe my eyes and then let’s get ready hmm?”

Fluttershy leads Rarity inside as they prepare for the get together.

It shouldn’t be such a big issue. Rarity has always abhorred getting dirty or wet certainly, but was always willing to put up with a little mud for the sake of saving the world or for her sister. However afterwards she could always look forward to a nice bath.

Rarity and Fluttershy walk together as they approach the picnic spot. Pinkie, Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack have already set out the cloth and places for everypony. Pinkie, in a pitiful display of self-restraint, is already chewing on cookies.

Rarity, who has been calm and collected for the duration of the walk, is now starting to feel uncertainty set in. And uncertainty leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to sweat, and sweat leads to not looking ones best, which leads to looking downright dreadful.

“On second thought, maybe this was a bad idea.” Rarity slows to a stop and lifts a leg in retreat. “They will tell I haven’t had a proper bath and…”

“Rarity, remember what I told you? We’re your friends-“

“Yes, yes… I’m just certain they will be able to smell me. Oh my, I must smell terrible! Do I stink Fluttershy? How can you stand so close to me?”

“I uh… You smell fine Rarity, really.”

“I know they mean well, but it’ll just be so embarrassing.”

“There’s no reason to get so upset, we’re almost at the-“

“I know, I just need to… uh… Oh look a flying turtle!” She points her hoof to the sky and then without waiting for Fluttershy to look or respond, dashes away.

“No Rarity, wait…” Fluttershy tries to get a word in but doubts Rarity even heard her as she gallops off abruptly.

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy flattens her ears and looks back towards her friends at the picnic who saw everything.

Rainbow Dash lands next to Fluttershy after seeing the whole thing.

“What was that all about?”

“Let’s go talk to the others and I’ll explain.”

Twilight finishes her bite of sandwich before speaking. “So basically Rarity has gone nuts over the simple lack of soap?” Fluttershy nods.

“And she just up an’ ran off cause she thinks we’re gonna call her smelly?” Applejack adds and Fluttershy nods again. “Well that’s just preposterous.”

“Well what are we waiting for?” Everypony looks at Pinkie. “Let’s go cheer her up!”

Rainbow pushes her sunglasses on top of her head. “It’s just Rarity being… Rarity.” She motions with her hoof. “She’ll come around eventually once she stops being such a drama queen about everything.”

Applejack looks at her. “And just when has she ever stopped being a drama queen?” Remember that time when she wouldn’t come out of her room and was preparin’ to be a hermit for the rest ah her life?”

“Well that was one time; we’ve all had moments where we lost it. Twilight almost drove the entire town nuts when she thought she was going to be late on a letter.” Twilight blushes and rubs a hoof on her leg in remembrance.

“And she didn’t just get over it.” Applejack adds “We should be there for Rarity now that she needs us. We all laughed at Twi when she told us about her problem and look what happened. It’s important we be there for her.”

“Applejack is right.” Twilight takes on a more confident stance. “No matter how silly it is, it’s important to Rarity.”

Rainbow Dash sighs. “I guess. But I’m finishing my sandwich first though.”

The group of ponies walk into town, and decide to check the Carousel boutique as the most obvious place to start.

Pinkie runs up and peeks in through the window with such momentum she threatens to break the glass. Seeing no sign of Rarity she moves from window to window until she has circled the whole building. Her friends just watch with bemused looks on their faces. She eventually looks back to them.

“I don’t see her.”

“Let’s try knocking…” Twilight steps up and raps on the door a few times. After about moment the door creaks open and Sweetie Belle looks up in surprise.

“Oh hey Twilight! You’re here for Rarity aren’t you? She’s locked herself in her room… again…”

Rainbow pokes up from behind the group. “Oh not this again!” with a determined grimace she marches inside and up the stairs. Sweetie Belle stands off to the side as the other four follow her in with concerned looks on their faces. Rainbow reaches Rarity’s bedroom and taps on it with her hoof.

“Come on Rarity open up!” Twilight pulls her back with a bout of magic and then steps up.

“That’s no way to handle this Rainbow Dash.” She turns to the door. “Rarity? Are you alright?” There’s no response so she continues. “Look Rarity, we just want to talk, we’re your friends. We won’t think any less of you if you just for going a day or two without soap if that’s what you’re worried about. I am sure it’ll only be a few days before the Princess find the source of the soap disappearances across Equestria.”

From behind Twilight there is a collective “Huh?”

“What was that?” The door shoots open and slams against the wall. “There is no soap in Equestria? As in all of Equestria? Everywhere?” Rarity has a frazzled mane and her eyes seem distant.

“Where’d you hear this from?” Applejack asks curious.

“Well the Princess Celestia mentioned it in one of her letters actually. Maybe I should have said something earlier?”

“Or not at all.” Applejack says under her breath. Meanwhile Rarity is not doing any better by the news. She looks like she’s about to take off running or scream again.

“How is this happening, I’ve never been without a bath or shower for over a day before! What am I going to do? What will everypony say about me? I won’t be able to leave my house, oh… but if I stay I’ll just putrefy in my own stench forever…”

Applejack notices her friend becoming increasingly stressed every second and cuts her off. “Now look Rarity. Here you are going on about getting dirty and smelln’ an’ such when I know for a fact you go to that spa and get covered in mud and who knows what else every week.”

“You don’t understand Applejack, that’s volcanic mud from Canterlot. And after there is a mineral water rinse and…”

Twilight gets a knowing grin on her face and speaks up. “Actually the stream the flows through Ponyville Is technically mineral water, It runs from a spring, as mineral water does, I wouldn’t be surprised if the spa gets it from right here in town.” Rarity takes on a contemplative look but says nothing. “And I’m not sure about the mud they use, but right here in Ponyville is the sight of a long since flattened volcano, so anything here would be just as good.” Rarity looked at Twilight completely baffled at the revelations. “You don’t use soap after a mud bath do you?”

“Well… no… its so that the mud…”

“Well why don’t you just go over to Applejack’s, we’ll get some mud and then you can just rinse off in the stream? It’ll be just as good I am sure.”

“But… you can’t just dig a hole and expect me to jump in with all the worms and bugs and…”

Pinkie jumps up momentarily from behind the group. “Don’t be silly bugs never hurt anypony!”

Twilight speaks again before Pinkie says something that might send Rarity back in her room. “Don’t worry, I am sure we can work something out, I may even have a spell or two that can help.”

Applejack steps up to rarity. “I can even get a nice hot min’ral water bath runnin’ for ya.”

Rarity’s eyes look across the floor for a second before she looks up at Twilight. “Do you really mean all this time…”

“You were probably paying a little too much for your treatments.”

Waves of realization and self-consciousness wash over Rarity. And at that moment she begins to realize she had been just a tad foolish.

“Perhaps I owe you girls and apology for my behavior. It’s been a rough day.” She lifts her head to face Twilight. “Do you think I should write a letter to the princess?”

Twilight thinks for a moment. “No, let’s just get you your mud facial.” She says with a wink.

As Rarity leads the way outside to Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack trots besides Twilight.

“So is this dirt here really an old volcano?”

Twilight shakes her head. “Nope.” Applejack gives a keen grin and then the two join they’re white unicorn friend.

Meanwhile in Canterlot, a certain blue, starry maned princess pops up from beneath the bubbly water to meet the stern gaze of Celestia.

“Luna, after this I am striking that law from the books.”

“Oh come now sister, you truly mean you never issued a Royal Bubble Bath in the thousand years I was gone?”

Celestia is momentarily taken aback by how casually her sister mentions her banishment. “Baths are one thing, but this statute about summoning all the soap for a single massive bathing is beyond ridiculous. This is the entire Canterlot Lake mind you. Not to mention how you had half the palace staff accompany you.” She glances at all the other guards and officials who have stripped off their clothing and are thoroughly enjoying themselves in the bubbly water of the lake.

“Cadence seems to be enjoying herself…” Luna motions to Princess Cadence who is making bubble beards on Shining Armor.

Celestia sighs before walking away. “Last time, Luna!”