It was such a dark void… an endless expanse of whirling and writhing blackness slipping around, curling against and through itself. The shadows slid close before dashing away, teasing and mocking and torturing in a slow, calculated cadence.
She was trapped in the middle, standing on ground long rendered barren and twisted, the earth below cracked with black oily tears seeping out, flowing down to the shadows that surrounded her, feeding them, joining them, making them grow and swell and reach out for her, reach to pull her down, to crush her, to rub her face against the ground she loved so much until it made her skin crack and bleed. Her lips frayed away under the grinding pressure, and she was forced to take the oily tears into her mouth, the liquid thickening and sticking, stopping in her throat, pulling the sides together, choking her, suffocating her. She couldn't breath. She couldn't break free. She was stuck, she was trapped, she was…
Weak.
Weak.
You're weak!
Why don't you just SHATTER.
Shatter and CRY.
SHATTER AND CRY
"Fluttershy!"
The pony woke up, jumping to her feet. She looked nervously around, her light teal eyes sliding over her empty room, her quilt tangled in a pile around one of her legs, the sun pouring in through the window, filling the room with a light, airy warmth. It was just a dream. It was that, same dream. That kept coming back. Ever since she was a little foal. She would hear it all the time, that voice, whispering the same thing, again and again, when she lived in the clouds. Shatter and Cry Fluttershy, Shatter and cry. But then she found the ground below, and all the animals, and all the pain and sorrow and loneliness went away. The voice that whispered in her ears was gone, and things were all better. They were so much better.
Then, the voice came back. Slowly. The more she interacted with other ponies, the more she saw them, the more it, whispered. At first it was only the occasional 'cry' or 'shatter'. But, now, it was back as it had always been. Stalking her, following her, mocking her always. She could hardly keep herself cheerful and upbeat with it always laughing at her. Fluttershy walked to her front door, glancing through a window to see Rarity waiting impatiently at the door, her cat at her side looking as grumpy as ever.
" Going to open it, aren't we? Going to see Rarity, are we? Isn't Rarity so pretty? Isn't Rarity so strong! Don't you remember how she always holds herself up in the face of adversity? Why, even when she was Discorded she wasn't to be stopped! Oh yes, let's go let Rarity in, so she can watch the weak little Fluttercry SHATTER." Fluttershy just smiled and opened the door. "Hi Rarity, bringing Opalescence over for her grooming?" She said softly, ignoring the voice that laughed and raged in her head. Fluttershy often wondered why it was so, unstable. Always happy one moment and furious the next. She wondered, if she helped it feel better, if it would stop being so, so mean, all the time.
"Thank you for taking care of her dear. She rolled about in some horrible dusty dirt this morning and she's in great need of a bath and a brushing. You're just magnificent with her Fluttershy, magnificent. I have to go, early morning appointments, you know, but I'm sure you don't mind, do you?" Rarity didn't waste any time, dropping the finicky feline into Fluttershy's care and turning towards the door. Not that Fluttershy minded, she understood all her friends at this point. And loved them for it.
"Of course I don't mind. I'll have her ready for you when you get back."
"Of course you don't mind. Such a weak little pony can't stay no. Can't say yes either, can you? You can only let everyone else make your decisions, can't you! Weak little Fluttershy. Go on, play with the dirty cat. Get it clean and then huddle alone in your stupid little garden! Go cry in there! Go on Fluttercry, go do what you do best and cry!"
"You're being awfully mean lately." Fluttershy said quietly as she picked up Opalescence, dragging her reluctant tail to the tub and setting her down. Fluttershy knew that the voice could hear and understand her. Sometimes it responded, sometimes it didn't. Other times it just sat there, present but silent. She knew it was judging her. The voice was always judging her. It seemed to be its only hobby.
"You could be helpful you know. 'Hello Fluttershy, good morning. Rarity is here. You should say hello'. That would be nice. You should try being nice." She said softly as she turned the water on.
"You know why animals fear and obey you? It's because they instinctively know you're a weak, crazy little filly. Did you know that? Did you know you're crazy? Because you are, Fluttercry. You're all alone in this big room, talking to yourself, about to wash a cat that wishes you weren't there."
"You're just being mean. I can help make you feel better, I'm good at that. I can make you soup, or, some warm tea, or warm milk maybe." Water and soap for Opalescence. A light scrubbing. A gentle rinsing. And Opalescence is clean. All clean.
"Oh yes, you stupid weakling. I'm going to love some milk. Give me some milk and everything will be okay. I'll turn into your freaking fairy godpony, sprinkling magic fairy dust all into your pot of crazysoup so you can feed it to all the ponies in ponyville and make them as crazy as you. As weak, and useless, and crazy as you. Why do you get paid? For telling a freaking squirrel that it eats acorns? Do you really think that makes you important? No one likes you, no one needs you! Stupid Fluttercry, just shut up and SHATTER."
"Okay Opalescence, let's get you dried off and brushed, shall we?" The cat hissed under it's breath, ceasing the hiss as Fluttershy stared at it. Just a glimpse of the stare. Just a glimpse of something wrong, lurking deep within Fluttershy's soul. Just a warning that she was capable of something…. Of something… the cat didn't dare to say anything. It looked away, it stood still, it let Fluttershy brush it, it let Fluttershy dry it.
"You shattered nicely when we went to that ball. All that sweetness dissolved into the black oily ink. Darkness everywhere. Hate flowing from you so, so, haaa…. And then there was that time with that Discord fellow, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't a natural break. You need to shatter naturally. But you couldn't, could you? You can never do anything, can you? No, you're too weak, all you can do is cry! So go ahead Fluttercry, and cry! Cry and know that every animal near you hates you, fears you! Cry and know that even your precious Angel knows only terror! Cry! Cry! Cry!"
Fluttershy blinked, shaking the tears away. She was listening too intently again. Listening too hard. Its words were beginning to set in. Beginning to hurt. She smiled nervously at Opalescence gently tying the cat's bow on and placing her into the basket. She had to concentrate on not shaking, on not breaking down. Now wasn't the time, not with the cat there, not with Rarity due to arrive at any minute. She slowly sipped some water, relieved that the voice hadn't said anything else. It seemed content to just push her into tears and then go away. She was so happy that it had gone away.
The rest of the day was calm. She took care of her chickens, greeted her animal friends, sang with the birds, and met with all of her pony friends. The voice stood quiet. It was so close. It knew it. It just had to, wait. To sit, and wait. Patience was a virtue. Such a sweet virtue.
Fluttershy smiled as she and Rarity walked back to her house to pick up Opalescence. It had been a lovely day, and Applejack had even sent her home with a tasty pie to share with Angel. It was hard to talk while she was carrying the pie, but Rarity didn't seem to mind. The purple maned unicorn just happily went on and on about her newest fashions, and how happy she was to be able to take her cat home, clean and preened. Her smile faltered as Fluttershy opened the door to reveal the chaos in her household.
Angel and Opalescence hadn't gotten along well during her absence. Furniture was broken, pillows busted open, feathers scattered over the room. Angel and Opalescence were entangled on the ground, their fur messed up behind belief. Rarity was the first to make a sound, a high pitched yelp at the sight of her cat. "Opalescence, you're in such a mess! Oh, let's get you home right away you naughty kitty. I'm sorry Fluttershy."
Fluttershy slowly put down the pie, nudging the damaged basket Rarity had brought to carry Opalescence. "It's… Im sorry her fur got messed up, Rarity." "Oh it's okay sugar, I'm sure I can get her to behave for a quick brushing, you just concentrate on your house, and everything will be alright, okay? I'll see you tomorrow dear." Rarity said warmly, quickly flipping the cat off the ground and into the basket, before picking it up and leaving.
Fluttershy slowly closed the door.
"heh heh heh…."
Fluttershy picked up a pillow, slowly placing it back onto the couch.
"Too weak to even keep your own pet from destroying your house."
She swept up the feathers into a pile in the center of the room.
"Too useless to keep your promise to Rarity to take care of the cat."
She prodded at the broken chair, wondering how to fix it.
"Too stupid for Rarity to think you could possibly fix the cat's fur."
She grabbed a dust pan, and moved to sweep the feathers into it. Tears slowly slid from her eyes as she stared at the pile. Angel hopped over, gently setting a paw on Fluttershy's hoof.
"Hah. Even the Rabbit pities you! The rabbit blames you! As it should! You are the one who did all of this! You're the one who failed. You're the one who always fails! Weak little Fluttershy, she can only play with animals because only animals realize that she's not right! That she's off! That she's loony! Her friends are only there to hold her up! Because she's weak! She's weak and pathetic and no one needs her! Oh, are you going to cry, Fluttershy? Go ahead, CRY. Shatter and CRY! Cry to your little bunny!"
"NO! STOP IT! I'M NOT WEAK! I'M NOT! AND I WON'T CRY!" Fluttershy screamed. She looked down at Angel, who stared back up at her with fear in his eyes. Her own narrowed in response, and her breath grew heavy with fury. "I'm not weak…."
"Prove it. Oh wait, you can't! How will you do that? You're just stupid little FlutterCRY! What a fitting name! CRY FLUTTERCRY, SHATTER AND CRY!"
"I WON'T CRY" Fluttershy reared up, bringing her hooves angrily down on Angel, trampling him with all the strength that she had. Once she started she couldn't bring herself to stop. She didn't want to stop. It felt so good, to finally feel power. To have strength over something. To determine it's future. It was wonderful.
"Ah hahahaha"
It took a while for her to calm herself down. The feathers were back, covering the living room, this time stained with small speckles of crimson. The mush beneath her hooves could hardly be recognized. Only close examination would reveal that it might've been a rodent ground into the wood floor. She stared down at it, tears slowly growing from her eyes again. "Angel? Angel baby?" She said softly, stepping back and watching bits and chunks cling to her hooves, the blood thick like tacky glue. She began to shake slightly, barely able to comprehend what just happened. "A-angel?" She squeaked, before she broke out into shaking sobs.
A knock echoed through the small home, the walls already shrinking, tightening around the sobbing pegasus. She lifted up her head, her bloodshot eyes staring at the door with a bit of fear seeping into them. A male voice followed the knock. "Um, Miss? I was told you could help me find a pet?" Fluttershy's eyes flashed to her hooves. What happened, if someone saw that? She would never be allowed near animals again! She would be kicked out of ponyville, she would be all alone!
" We'd better do something then, shouldn't we? I'll help you this time, You did well though. So well… You were so shattered… So nice… yes…. If that pony sees, then, then the ponies will know your crazy too! We can't have that, can we? Well then, maybe you should let him in…. And you can reenact every little detail. You'll play the part of Flutterstrong… and he can play the part of Angel. What do you say, Fluttercry, think you can pull off the part?"
A small smile ripped across Fluttershy's tear stained face. "Of course I can, please, come in, and close the door behind you." She said softly. The earth pony stepped in, slipping in a bit of the blood on the floor as he stumbled around, trying to close the door in the darkness of the cottage. "Uh, do you know where the light switch is?" He asked, trying to figure out where she was as she crept up behind him. "Yes… but who needs light?" She slammed her hooves into the wall, knocking down a shelf bearing several vases, many of which landed on his head, fragmenting into shards, some of which pierced his head, others that just fell to the ground. Fluttershy laughed as she reared up again. He looked up, his eyes widen with terror.
"Are you okay little pony? Are you going to cry! Well that's okay! Go ahead and cry! SHATTER AND CRY!"