Of All The Worst Things

by lunarshinobi

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Rarity, Gore
Length: 2799

Rarity loves pretty ponies. She hates ugly ones. Luckily, she's generous enough to cure the problem.

Rarity believes that if a pony is good and deserving of life, than they are beautiful. The inside is reflected by the outside after all.

Therefore, all ugly ponies are horrible blights upon society, and they must be taken care of.

Luckily for Equestria, Rarity is generous enough to take on the burden of ridding the world of these ugly, horrible ponies.

Published 2012-01-30 03:31:56 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-30 03:31:56 UTC

Chapter 1

The statue of Discord had been transported to the ruins of the old castle deep in the Everfree Forest, hidden so that no pony could unleash him onto the world again. It sat in the center of the old courtyard, dust already settling on the granite that made his current body.

Light faded from the area, the twilight glow gently clinging to the edges of the mountains and the towers of the castle, night already climbing up into the sky. A stray couple of leaves floated across the stones of the courtyard, circling in loops before hitting the far wall, crumpling to the ground. One leave, a mottled gray and brown leave, floated to the ground before Discord's statue. A pristine white hoof came down upon it, shattering the leaf into dust. The pony wore a light silvery gray robe, the hood pulled over her face as she stared up at the statue. A soft, melodic voice slipped from her lips. "Celestia refuses to have criminals put to death. Even the ones that do deserve it so. Your crimes are countless. Torturing ponies. Destroying property. Sending Equestria into disharmony and chaos. Crimes against kindness, ethics, morals, ponykind, crimes against FASHION." The pony screeched, before taking a deep breath and shaking her head slowly.

"I apologize. My passion got away from me for a moment there." Magic glittered around the pony's head or a moment, and the hood was pulled down, revealing a less than joyous Rarity. The delicate unicorn slowly stepped around the statue, her eyes looking up and down the statue, an intrigued look on her face. She paused and looked back up at Discord's face, at his expression immortalized forever in stone. Her own twisted into disgust and disdain, hate flowing into her large blue eyes, filling them with a spark, a fire. She shook her main and lifted her hooves, slamming them into the ground repetitively.

"Oh you're ugly! You're ugly, hideous, repulsive, horrid, just absolutely appalling! Have you seen yourself?! How could Celestia allow you to live? How could anyone allow something so distasteful to destroy the image of our dear land of Equestria? I can't believe it! I can't stand it, I can't handle it!" She shrieked, pausing her fit to catch her breath, using her magic to push a few stray hairs back into place. "I can't allow for ugliness to stain our home. But I won't bother my fellow ponies with this task, no no. I'm the element of generosity, it's my duty to take on the chore of beautifying Equestria. Even if it costs me my own tail. I don't need hair to be beautiful. But you, you could have my mane and tail a thousand fold and never be even the slightest bit presentable!"

Rarity concentrated, using her magic to lift up the statue into the sky. "I'm making Equestria beautiful, erasing one mistake at a time." Her hiss echoed through the still air, before she brought the statue slamming into the ground, shattering it into a collection of stone shards strewn throughout the courtyard. Rarity gathered the shards together, and continued slamming them into other services, and into each other, until nothing remained but dust and a small pile of rubble. The still pristine pony looked down at the pile, a bright smile on her face. "There. Another ugly little monster gone for good. Trapping him in stone instead of killing him, why I never..."

Rarity pulled her hood back over her face, and turned around, heading home for ponyville, the darkness rising around her.

It had taken all of her self control to behave herself as a pony should when in public. It was bad enough when that pair of Canterlot ponies walked up to her. They were pretty in essence, but their hair, their clothes, it was atrocious. But it was fixable. All they need was a mane restyling, perhaps even a mane dye job or two, and some clothing that didn't look like it had gone out of style so long ago a Cavepony would cringe to see them, and these canterlot ponies would look perfectly acceptable. She could accept their presence, so long as she kept her eyes centered on theirs, or shyly glancing off to the slide.

But... But... him.

Hayseed Turnip Truck. A pony that she had only caught the slightest glimpse of back at Ponyville, back at some, party. She hated him then, and she hated him now. He was truly ugly, an ugliness that couldn't be taken care of with a quick brush of the mane or a change of clothing. No, he was ugly from the inside out, a nasty, hideous pony that should never be in the company of other ponies. And here he was, daring to destroy the beauty and glamour of canterlot with his, his face! All over their windows, his cracked, dirty hooves all over their glass, his breath tainting their hair. And to associate himself, with her? With Rarity, a pony of beauty, of grace, of generosity?!

It was, it was, just... It had taken more time that Rarity would've liked to get herself to calm down. Then again, she held in her fury through much of the afternoon, and even then she had to throw her fit in silence and with care, lest she get Celestia's attention. And as much as Rarity adored their beautiful princess, she couldn't let Celestia know about the cause of her anger. Celestia was too good, too loving, she allowed even hideous, pitiful ponies like Hayseed to walk about her kingdom, poisoning the very ground that the normal, pretty citizens walked upon. It was up to Rarity to be generous enough to take on this, nasty business all by herself. Only a pony generous enough to sacrifice her own cleanliness could do it anyway, and Rarity would hate to see the princess stain her perfect coat.

Still, it would have to wait until she got home. For now, she would get to mingle with the beautiful ponies of Canterlot. The proper, normal, good ponies. After all, the more beautiful you were, the more of a good, lovely citizen you were, right? Yes, yes of course. Good ponies are pretty ponies. Ugly ponies are evil, life draining, society destroying ponies. It was simple, common sense.

The rest of her time at Canterlot had been absolutely fantastic. Not only had she become the talk of the town, the pony that everypony should know, but her friends had brought Twilight's birthday party to her, which resulted in tons of business for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala! She had business up the, well, polite ponies didn't say such crude things, but she was certainly rolling in business. It kept her distracted enough, being surrounded by lush, elegant fabrics, the smooth silk brushing against her as she carefully stitched it into just the right pattern, just the right outfit. Something that would make an already pretty pony turn gorgeous in the right light. Yes, Rarity had the perfect job for someone so generous to enforce the law of nature. The beautiful, prevail. Well, that probably wasn't nature's law, but it was the right law. It was Rarity's core moral code.

Finally she had gotten her orders done, and she could tend to her little chore now. She watched first, her hood draped over her face, hiding her from sight. The first step was always the easiest. Taking careful note of their behaviors, of their daily life. Where did they go every day? Was there a pattern? How easily was it traced? When were they all alone? When were they vulnerable? All of these were extremely important questions that had extremely important answers. They would lead Rarity while she was deciding every little detail of her plan. Rarity could organize herself as well as Twilight could, if only in this one little regard. Pretty little Twilight. She was probably sitting in her library, hunched over a dictionary.

Such a delicate, sweet pony could never do what Rarity had to do. None of her friends could. Which gave Rarity all the more reason to do this. She had to protect her friends from the ugly ponies that ate away at Equestria like a cancer. They were a cancer. A blotted, mottled, nasty tumor that needed to be cut, out.

Rarity only needed to watch Hayseed for two weeks before she got his schedule down pat. He went, every night, to the bar, and got himself so wasted that he could hardly walk straight. No surprise to Rarity, an uncouth pony such as Hayseed would obviously seek out hard liquor, in order to help themselves forget that they were a parasite that devoured society like a flame devoured a beautiful flower. He stumbled from the bar down a secluded road, one that ponies rarely traveled during the day, forget at night. It brushed against the Everfree forest, the blackened boughs presenting themselves at the side of the road, saying oh so clearly their own wish to hide ugly ponies from the beautiful eyes of Equestrians.

Rarity would gladly oblige. Something needing to be done, Hayseed was far too, hideous, to be allowed to exist any longer. She followed him from the bar, stalking him from under the cover of buildings and darkness. When he crept too close to the woods, she pulled off her hood, tucking it behind a bush, before stepping out and trotting over to him. "Hayseed, oh Hayseed, Could you help me? I lost my dear cat Opalescence, she wandered into the Everfree forest, and just, just Oh, of all the worst things that could happen, this is the worst. possible. THING." She gasped, pretending to faint before quickly recovering and brushing a hoof through her mane. The worry was evident in Hayseed's eyes, he honestly cared, how sweetly sickening. Something so ugly, sympathizing with Rarity.

"Well, Gosh Miss Rarity, I'll help ya find yer cat. C'mon, stay close though, these woods can be perrtttyyy dangerous at night." Hayseed said, turning and immediately stepping into the shadowy woods, followed by the snowy white unicorn, a smile on her face, darkness glittering in her eyes. He was so ready to help her, but of course. What pony wouldn't help a pretty pony? That's why all ponies should be pretty ponies, so that the ugly ponies never corrupted the pretty ones, never turned them into greedy rock loving freaks...

It didn't take long for them to get deep into the Evergreen forest, far from the prying ears of pony or the random zebra. Just her, and Hayseed, out surrounded by darkness and silence. Rarity's steps grew slower, as she drew to a stop, in a small break in the woods, nothing but a large boulder and barren ground. Perfect, like this trash pony deserved anything else. The pony in question stared around the clearing, confusion in his eyes. "Uh, Miss Rarity? I dun see any cat 'round here. Or anythin' really. Did you need to stop tuh take a rest?" He asked, taking a short step towards her. Rarity looked up at him, giving him a smile that clearly frightened him as he stumbled back.

"Rest, no, no. A pony like me simply can't rest when there's such injustice in Equestria. Such, hideousness. It's just horrible, don't you think Hayseed?" Rarity spoke softly, stepping towards him for every step he took backwards, a venom in her soft, sensual whisper. "I... uh, I dun know what yer talkin' 'bout Rarity..." He said quickly, sensing a threat that he couldn't understand. Who would understand a threat, coming from the prim, pretty Rarity, who made dresses all day and avoided dirt like the plague?

"I think you do Hayseed. Because you do it every. Single. Day. Just ruining the image of beauty and perfection that shimmers from Canterlot every time you shame the city with your presence. No, no, you're doing it now! Trotting about Equestria with that stupid, sickening grin on your face! You can't even bother to keep your clothes clean, too content to roll about in your own filth! Then again, there's nothing about you that isn't filthy, is there, Hayseed?" Rarity spat, fury bristling from her every breath. Hayseed shuddered as the cold of the boulder pressed against the back of his legs, blocking him from going any further, trapping him in Rarity's path.

"I dun under-" "YOU DO UNDERSTAND YOU OAF. You and all of our kind know exactly what you're doing! You will yourselves to be this hideous looking, you WANT to be a stain, a blemish, a cancerous mole on the pristine, crystalline beauty of Equestria! You want us to all wallow in, in, unattractive squalor! Well we won't! The other, proper, pretty ponies are too kind to take care of you, but I wouldn't ask them too anyway! No, the generous thing to do is to take this upon themselves! I would try to make you pretty, ah, I have tried to make your kind pretty. But you always REFUSE. You are content to sit there in your distasteful nastiness!" Rarity glowed as her magic sparked about the tiny clearing, the sight of which made Hayseed's legs go limp, dropping him to the ground, prone and vulnerable to Rarity's fury.

Rarity wordlessly lifted him, causing him to restart his legs, flinging them in every direction as he tried to squirm out of Rarity's hold. She just smiled, and as she brought him to the canopy Rarity humored him, dropping him onto the boulder, earning a pained yelp from her victim. "HELP! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!" He screamed, finally trying to actively run away. Rarity laughed, grabbing him with her magic and smashing him into a tree.

"Help? Why should anypony help you?! All you ever do is sit around being, being disgusting! If anything, seeing you would just give them the courage to join me and rid themselves of you and all like you!" Rarity screeched, before giving a spritely laugh, slamming him into another tree with a gleeful shuffling of her hooves. Ridding the world of an ugly pony always gave her such a warmth, to know that she was making everyone's life better. Why, tomorrow she would take her lovely pony friends out to a friendly lunch. That'd be nice.

"Help!"

Rarity scowled. "Would you kindly SHUT UP. No one is going to help you! But if you're going to continue being such a pain, I'll just shut you up myself!" She centered his head in line with the boulder, before repeatedly crushing his snout against the stone, until his teeth were cracked or just gone. She smiled at her handy work, the actions having apparently given him a concussion to top it all off. He blinked, confused, his mind trying to get back on track through all the pain. Rarity just giggled, not feeling like allowing his brain the chance to catch back up. She resumed throwing him around, the sound of splintering echoing around the clearing, being unclear if it was the wood of the trees or the bones in Hayseed's body shattering into dust.

Once in a while she threw him far up into the air, bouncing with delight when he came crashing down. Eventually it became clear that he could take no more. He was teetering on the edge of death, the look in his eyes the look of a pony who knew his life was going to end in pain and terror. Rarity smiled and drug him close to her. She crouched slightly and whispered into his ear. "Of all the worst things that could ever happen... Why, this is the worst, possible, thing." Rarity laughed as she mocked him, stepping back and letting go of him with her magic. Her laugh grew as he gathered the last of his strength, trying desperately to crawl away from Rarity. She lifted the massive boulder, guiding it over his head. She waited for a moment for him to look up and see it, before dropping the crushing weight on him, ending his struggle.

Rarity sighed and pushed the boulder away, turning and trotting from the clearing, using her magic to drag his body behind her. She stopped near a large pit, admiring the best that slithered and squirmed below, it knew her, knew that its meal was coming. And how good of Rarity, to even recycle the ugly mess to keep something pretty, alive? As she moved to go back to Ponyville, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in a small pond, specks of red spotting her coat. Rarity shook her head and as she washed the blood off. "Hm... I wonder, if crimson slippers are in season?"

"Red is definitely my color."