The Assignment

by Adrian Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex
Length: 3353

Two old friends fresh out of the royal guard academy find themselves in deep trouble.

Fresh out of the academy, two rookie recruits find that the glory and honor of serving the princess ends up landing them in the scariest and most awkward situation in their lives.

originally Written for the Equestria Daily June 2011 Friendoff. (the friendoff is something they used to do where writers would write fics about a piece of fanart, and an artist would draw based on a fic.)

Published 2012-01-30 03:32:08 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-30 03:32:08 UTC

Chapter 1

Featherstone smiled brightly as he walked into the locker room. He opened his locker to find a shiny new set of armor and a note detailing the specifics of the different patrols he might be assigned to, as well as a generic welcome letter. He grunted as he lifted the hefty brass armor onto his back, wincing when he accidentally caught his wing under the back plate. He fidgeted around until it finally sipped comfortable over his wings. With his armor on he reached into the locker to grab his helmet, which he promptly dropped on the floor of the locker. It rolled with the bottom up, so the new recruit dipped his head down and slipped it over his head.

A weak flash from the helmet pierced his eyelids as he felt a light tingling. He jumped at the sensation, backing out of the locker in a panic and tripping over a bench. He struggled back up to his hooves, catching a glimpse at how his normally sandy brown coat had turned pure white from the helmets magic.

A hefty laughter caught his attention, as Featherstone began to blush before realizing the source of the laughter. An olive green stallion opened the locker next to Featherstone's. “Oh, Leaf Sway, I was wondering when you would show up.” The recently transformed stallion adjusted his helmet, “I mean, you tend procrastinate but I didn't pin you to be the type to be late on your first day out of the academy.”

Leaf Sway smirked at Featherstone as he slipped his own armor on, the helmet's magic sweeping over his coat. He nudged Featherstone jovially, “Hey, be thankful, I did some research on these things. They used to temporarily geld you when you wore them.”

Featherstone grimaced as Leaf Sway walked off. A strange, irresistible urge came to Featherstone. He glanced around him, making sure nopony was watching him, before quickly bending his head down and peeking under himself. He brought his head back up with a look of relief, “Whew, had to know for sure.”
-=-=-=-=-

Featherstone trotted happily to the guard break room, catching up with Leaf Sway. His friend took a moment to recognize the trot before waving to him “Hey, do you remember what our patrol was today? I kind of--”

“Forgot but really was just dozing off in the briefing.” Featherstone teased, “Yeah I remember. We have the audience chamber doors today.”

“So we patrol the hall near the chamber as well?”

“No, that's the audience chamber hall patrol.”

“You mean we're just st-”

“Standing at the door, yes.”

Leaf sway rolled his eyes while Featherstone snickered. At the far side of the breakfront, a pegasus with slightly reddish armor was talking to two of the unicorn throne guards. He nudged Featherstone and pointed to him, “Hey Feathers, look to your eight. I think that's the senior guard.”

The pegasus sized up his new superior. The veteran's conversation seemed to be all business as neither him nor the throne guards expressed the slightest sign of emotion. While the newbie couldn't make out any words, he could tell the stallion's voice was blank and flat. It wasn't so much speech as it was audible data that happened to resemble speech. The longer Featherstone's eyes lingered, the redder the seasoned stallion's armor seem to become. “Well if my armor didn't geld me, his sure feels like it just did.”
His eyes stuck to the superior. The seniors ears perked up suddenly as he slowly turned his head around. “No, no no! Look away before he sees you staring you foal! Why can't I stop st-”

His gaze was interrupted by a sharp jab to the side through a gap in the armor. Leaf smiled at him awkwardly, “You owe me for that one.”

The dazed pegasus breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks. Hey, do you think we should head to our patrol early for our first day?”

Leaf scanned the room quickly, “Maybe we should try to get familiar with new co-workers.”

He walked off, looking for anypony not already in a conversation. “Ah, hi, My name is Leaf Sway and this is my first day. I'm trying to get to know some of my new coworkers.”

The other pegasus blinked blankly before walking away. Leaf Sway held back the urge to yell at the rude coworker, then tried again, gaining similar responses from pretty much every guard in the room. Exhausted, he returned to find Featherstone motionless against one of the walls, gazing over to one of the faceless guards. “You uh... you okay, Feathers?”

“Do you think he's cute?”

“What!? Snap out of it, Featherstone! You know I'm not a coltcuddler anyway, so why would you ask me?” Leaf tapped his hoof to Featherstone's helmet. “And for that matter, he's literally identical to every other guard. How can you even... you know what, never mind.”

Featherstone rubbed the side of his helmet against his temple, “Sorry, the room is just so busy. It's making me space out.”

Leaf Sway sighed, “I have never met anypony so straight laced and organized manage to daydream as easily as you do. How many times have I had to snap you out of it in the academy?”

The other pegasus raised an eyebrow, “And how many times have I had to wake YOU up from an actual dream?”

“Fair enough,” Leaf sway said, “maybe we should just go to our posts.”

As the two newbies left the room, the one in the bronze armor eyed them suspiciously.
=-=-=-=-=-

The door to the audience chamber was at the east end of a long, oval shaped track of a hall. A defensive decision as in the event of a siege, the guards could use the loop to flank the invading force in the hallway. Unfortunately, this also meant the two newbie guards would spend their shift staring at a slightly rounded wall. As part of the job both were required to remain silent under normal circumstances, so the only interaction between them was Featherstone occasionally nudging Leaf Sway when his eyes closed a little too long.

Occasionally another guard on patrol would come by, only to pass them as if they weren't even there. Soon, Featherstone began to stick his eyes to a single point on the wall, his mind slipping into standby mode. Without the vigilant protection of his partner, Leaf began to doze off standing.

Hours later, a loud clang snapped Featherstone out of his trance. He looked around to see his partner had returned to his normal olive green color, with his head dipped low and his helmet on the floor. “Leaf.” Feather called quietly, “Leeeeaf!”

The green one was fast asleep, no amount of half whispering would do. The guard pony grabbed his partners helmet and slipped it back onto the stallion's head. The flash and sweeping sensation of the magic transforming him jerked him from his slumber. “Huwhaa?! Awake! Up! How long?”

Featherstone tapped his hoof on the ground ponderously, “Few hours I think. I spaced off but I remember it being lighter outside.”

Lead straightened out his helmet, “So how much longer is our shift?”

Featherstone looked around for a clock on the walls, but none could be found. “I guess until the princess leaves the chamber or when the next shift shows up.”

“Fine. But next chance we get, we need to ask for a patrol that actually involves... patrolling.”

Just then, the chamber doors opened and the two guards stiffened up. Two unicorn guards left the room unceremoniously, once again treating the newbies like statues. Leaf Sway listened for the door at the end of the hall to close, “Doesn't she only have two guards in there at any given time?”

Featherstone closed his eyes, tabbing through the facts and figures from the academy, “Yeah, the re are only two throne guards at any given time to make the room seem more welcoming to citizens.”

“Speaking of citizens why haven't any been in today? No representatives, ambassadors, governors, no nothing.”

“Guards? Door guards? Please come, I have a request.”

The two tensed up and looked at each other before entering the room.

The curtains were covering the halls massive windows, and the lanterns were outputting a much dimmer glow. The audience chamber felt as if it were a place sealed off from all of Equestria, nothing happening outside coming in, and nothing happening inside going out. The princess stood at the bottom of the steps to her throne, magically adjusting the lighting on the final lantern. “Ah, there you two are.” She purred.

Featherstone's eyes shot wide, “Oh no, this is happening. I did NOT sign up for this.”

Leaf Sway looked at Featherstone, confused. “How can we be of service, Your Majesty?”

The princess giggled, “Oh, do you know how frustrating being the princess is? Eons old and not a single colt to even realize the fact that I'm still an actual mare?”

She walked up to the guards, her hair flowing much lower than it usually does. She runs a hoof along Featherstone's helmet, “A stallion such as yourself would know how terrible a dry spell could be.”

Featherstone panicked, “With all due respect, your majesty, I-”

Celestia smiled at him “Please, Call me Celly for the time being.”

“O-okay, Ce-lly, but what I mean to say is I don't think I would be the one to, uh, 'help' you here. “

The princess chuckled, “I don't think you understand, handsome, this is an order. You wouldn't want to be found guilty of treason, would you?”

Leaf Sway was slowly backing away from the situation. Bunk fantasies are one thing, but this was just scary. The princess reached around him and pulled him closer with her wing, “And that order goes for you, too.” She winked at him.

Leaf stammered, “M-m-maje-”

“Celly.” The princess corrected.

“Yes, Celly, Why didn't you just order the throne guards?”

Celestia laughed heartily, “Well, they have been guards for a long time. So long, in fact, that they still have the old armor. Little known fact the old armor-”

“Yes I am well aware of the old armor.” Squeaked Featherstone.

Celestia pulled the guards in with her wings and leaned her face in close. “Well then, We should get started.”

An awkward moment of nothing happened before Featherstone felt Celestia's wet tongue sweep up his cheek. She then gestured her face as if to say “Your turn.” The two gulped and began slowly licking at her muzzle. She giggled in delight at the two tongues made long, careful strokes up her face. She moved her head to the side, turning to face Featherstone while presenting her neck to Leaf. Featherstone continued his clumsy and awkward tracing along her face while Leaf slowly worked his way along her neck. Celestia arched her back and her wings flared as Leaf began to nip at her coat ever so cautiously.

Even though Leaf seemed to be getting into things, Featherstone was still a coltcuddler, and no amount of sensuous moaning from the princess could make this any less uncomfortable for him. He nearly passed out when Celestia quickly turned her head to meet his tongue with hers. An awkward stare lasted until the princess closed her eyes and tilted her head down slightly. Featherstone, reluctant yet obedient, traced up the top of her snout and continued until he met the base of her horn. Leaf had found Celestia pushing him along her body with gentle hoof until he reached the base of her flexed wing. Taking the hint, he buried his muzzle into the base, rubbing a strong, hard muscle that held the wing to her body. He felt the muscle quiver and could feel her lungs pulse as she let out a low groan.

Featherstone gulped as he prepared to begin working her now faintly glowing horn, when suddenly, the sound of a door opening made both of the guards hearts skip a beat. “OH! Princess I- I didn't mean to interrupt! I-I'll just come back later!” the door slammed shut and the sound of galloping could be heard in the hall.

Celestia lifted her head up and pushed Leaf Sway out of the base of her wing, “I am truly sorry,“ she said in a panicked tone, “But I think we should stop for now. You two should probably go home for the day while I try to track down the witness before he can tell anypony.”

The princess grimaced at Leaf, “On second thought, you can stay until you are more... decent.”

Leaf Sway looked at the princess confused before stepping away. “What do you mean by-” He suddenly felt a bobbing weight underneath him, and he blushed intensely as his question was immediately answered. Celestia pulled a decoration tapestry off the wall. “Cover up with this until you've calmed down.”

The princess ran out the door without a further word. The two guards stared blankly at each other, processing exactly what just happened. Leaf Sway took off his helmet, a wave of green staining his coat from white, and unlatched his armor, dropping it to the floor while he wrapped the tapestry around his torso, being certain to conceal his excitement underneath the thick fabric. After he got the cloth on him he slipped his armor back on over the cloth to hold it in place. Featherstone let out a wail before throwing his helmet down, “What the heck, man?! Our first bucking day and this happens? I never signed up with this in mind!”

The green pegasus groaned, embarrassed at his current state in light of his friend's panic, Featherstone took a few deep breaths before continuing, “Don't be that way, it's not like I'm mad at you. I mean, you're straight, it's not like you could have prevented...” Featherstone pointed to Leaf's wrapping, “... that.”

Featherstone removed his helmet, turning brown again, “I mean, I hope that the witness is found and all. Paid off not to tell anypony. Two years in the academy just to get discharged on my first day? That's ridiculous.”

The green one felt the wrapping around his torso loosen slightly, “I wonder if we're the first ones.”

“Well, apparently the old armor isn't THAT old, if there are still some guards in service who wear it. So I guess the option just recently opened up for her. Now that I think about it, why would anypony choose to wear the old armor when they have access to the newer ones that don't-”

“For pony's sake, Feathers, are you still stuck on that?” Leaf Sway interrupted, “I mean it's not like you'll be able to get any colts pregnant in the first place.”

The brown one snapped back, “That's not the point!”

Featherstone rubbed the side of his head before putting his helmet back on, “I don't think I can take this right now. I'm going home. Stop by if you need to but I think the less I see of Canterlot right now, the better.”

Leaf shimmied around as he felt the cover still felt slightly taught, “I'll catch up with you later. Maybe I'll being some cider. We're probably going to need it..”
=-=-=-=-=-=-

The next morning, Leaf Sway was waiting for Featherstone at the gates of the castle, “Hey, Feathers!”

“You? Early?” Featherstone joked.

“Well it's not like I'm gonna let my friend go in there alone. Not even Celestia knows what's gonna be waiting for us in there if word got out.”

The sandy stallion smiled, “Heh, probably gonna get permanent sewer patrol.”

The two newbie guards stood in front of the door to the locker room, a nervous burning eating at their chests. They both nodded to each other and pushed open the double doors together to find...

“Nopony. Nopony's here?” the green one mused.

“This could be very bad.” Whispered Featherstone, “Keep an eye out for anypony that might try to grab us and give us a new set of stone horseshoes and a wonderful visit to the bottom of froggy bottom bog.”

Leaf Sway cringed, then nodded. The two peeked around every corner. Checked behind them, and made sure to keep an ear out for even the slightest sound. They finally made it to their lockers. “Good, once we get our armor on, we can blend into the crowd and lay low until we get things figured out.” said the brown pegasus.

The two opened their lockers to find their armor missing. Behind them, a strong voice boomed, “My office. Now.”
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Featherstone fidgeted in his seat while the senior guard emerged from the room behind his office. He held a folder in his mouth. With a serious glare, he tossed it down on his desk and pulled out a photo of the two with Celestia in their normal colors, Leaf's muzzle buried into the crook of the princess's wing, and Featherstone teasing her horn. “The camera was enchanted to see through the armor's disguise so we could get a positive I.D.”

Leaf closed his eyes, “But sir, Celestia said it was an or-”

“I don't want to hear it!” he yelled. “Now keep your muzzles shut an come with me.”

The newbies stood straight up and followed the senior into the room behind his office. The lights were out, save for one in the middle. A slow tapping sound echoed out as Princess Celestia stepped into the spotlight. A look of horror and confusion overcame the pair's faces. Suddenly, a laugh came from the darkness, followed by more. The room lit up to reveal the entire force grouped together laughing hysterically, with a banner hanging from the ceiling that read, “Welcome to the team!”

Featherstone looked back around to the senior, who was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes, barely being able to speak through his laughter, “DID- Did you SEE the look on their faces! Ahh it was PRICELESS!”

The bronze armored pegasus lead them to a large cork billboard and pinned their photo to it. The billboard was filled with dozens of similar photographs of all different ponies in the same situation. “Heh, these initiations NEVER get old!”

Featherstone stuttered, “I-Initiation!?”

The princess stepped forward, “Yes. I used to have a problem with all of my guards being constantly nervous and jumpy around me as if I was about to fire them for the slightest sign of imperfection around me. So one day I started pulling this prank on all of the new guards on their first day.”

A photograph floated in front of the two. It was a young, fresh faced yellow pegasus nibbling on the princess's ear. The senior stepped in, “Heh, that was from my turn. Actually called in sick the day after I was so worried.”

Two guards brought forward the newbie's armor. The princess levitated the body pieces onto them gently, allowing them to slip their wings through the openings. “All of my guards are like family to each other. This little idea of mine has had the unexpected side effect of making my guards a close knit team.”

The brown pony smiled warmly at the princess's words of acceptance. The Pegasus in the bronze armor turned around. “Team, helmets off.”

He slipped off his own helmet and flashed to that same shade of yellow as seen in his old photograph. The crowd of white guards flashed into a crowd of different colors as they all set their helmets on the floor in front of them. The yellow pegasus then picked up the helmets of the two newbies and stood in front of them. He carefully balanced himself as he personally slipped the helmets onto the new recruits. Turning them white again. “Welcome to the herd, you two.”

Thank you for reading my friendoff entry. please leave any feedback on the DeviantArt page or in the friendoff comments.

P.S. if you see me hanging around in the chat box, go ahead and chat me up if you want... that’s what I’m there for.