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                     Anthropomorphism                      
                        -by Divide-                        
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                Prologue: Train of Thought                 
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Chapter One: The Grass is Always Greener
Anthropomorphism
Chapter One: The Grass is Always Greener
You stared out the window from within the confines of your bed, and felt the nice, cold breeze caress the fur on the exposed portion of your face. Sleep had eluded you; you weren't sure why, but it was probably a combination of jet-lag and caffeine. Scratch that: it was almost certainly the cause of your restlessness.
Huffing and blowing a lock of your mane that had fallen out of place, you turned over from your side onto your back, staring at the stucco ceiling and the ever-changing designs that melted and swirled. This new ceiling was far more interesting than your last one, you decided.
Without your permission, your brain decided to mull over the day's events; the good, the bad, and the strange.
Since your entire family is of the regular variety of ponies, your dad had worked in the Field of Nanotechnology for years. Finally, he made the breakthrough that he'd been raving about for years: he managed to make a new type of self-repairing, microscopic nanobot capable of things that ponies couldn't even comprehend. At least, that's what he had said to you. Your father had sold the rights to the Solar Corporation for a very large sum of money.
With the money earned from selling the patent, your parents thought it appropriate to move to a nicer locale. When you first heard that, you didn't think that they meant across Equestria. You were given only a few days to pack and say goodbye to your friends and classmates. Fortunately for you, you only ever had two friends. You three were virtually inseparable: you had been friends since elementary school. Saying goodbye to them made you feel like you were cutting a small piece out of yourself.
Ever since the announcement that you were moving to a small town named Ponyville and leaving your friends behind, you had felt lethargic. The plane ride hadn't helped. Boarding a plane at five in the morning and sitting still for seven hours hadn't been easy.
You were just glad that you rode first class.
You had gotten off the plane with your mom and dad, following them straight into the waiting limo. You weren't used to the special treatment that you had only recently been on the receiving end of. The two hour limousine ride was taken in silence. Any attempts from your father or mother to start a conversation with you was shut down by your monosyllabic answers.
Upon arriving at the town of Ponyville, you were awestruck by it. It had all the aspects of a modern town: cafes, restaurants, a coffee shop or three, a shopping mall, yet it still felt like a small, rural town. You guessed that there was at most two thousand people living there, if that. It made you homesick just looking at it.
You glanced out the tinted window of the limousine at a group of students walking out of a coffee shop, talking and laughing. You were surprised to see members from all three sub-species hanging out together. Where you were from, everypony stuck to their respective groups. You also noticed that their expressions changed dramatically as soon as they laid their eyes on the limo.
You closed your eyes for a few moments. You knew that having money didn't instantly make you into a shallow, pedantic asshole, but the expressions on the student's faces had made you think otherwise. Sighing, you leaned back into the leather seat only to have the limo stop and shut down.
"Well family, we're here!" your dad said enthusiastically as he opened the door, his short, vibrant gold hair swaying slightly in the breeze. He offered his hand to your mother and she graciously accepted, her own crimson red locks bouncing.
"Oh my," your mom said dramatically once she stepped out of the limo. "This place is simply fantastic!"
"Yeah," you mumbled. "Fantastic. That's the word."
You opened the other door and took in the sights: you knew that you'd be here for a while. The house, or rather, mansion, was three stories tall, made of stone and brick, and looked like something straight out of a Conmane movie. There were guard towers - guard towers! - embedded along the stone wall that surrounded the mansion, giving it a looming, unfriendly look. You saw unicorns wearing black uniforms patrolling along the wall.
Sighing, you caught up with your mom and dad, who were already walking towards the gate.
Fortunately, you had long legs that enabled you to catch up relatively quickly. At your old school, your friends had told you that you looked so imposing when you walked. They had jokingly said that the only reason they kept you around was because you intimidated anyone that didn't know you personally. Which, now that you thought about it, was most people. You never really understood the intimidation factor: you had never physically harmed or abused anyone before. Apparently, you were just 'freakishly tall'.
You followed your parents through underneath the large archway that was a part of the outside wall. You couldn't help but notice the two massive wrought-iron gates that were opened to let you and your family pass.
You wondered whether those gates were for keeping ponies out... or keeping ponies in.
Sighing again, you caught up with your parents once again, trailing slightly behind them. You overheard a bit of their conversation.
"Dear, are you sure that he's going to be alright here? I think that the small town atmosphere is just making him homesick," your mom said.
Your dad sighed and replied, "I know it is, sweetie, but I'm sure he'll adjust. He just needs to spend some time and effort into making some new friends here."
Uncomfortable with listening in to your parent's conversation, you decided to make your footsteps a bit louder, as if you were just catching back up to your parents. You had learned long ago how to walk very quietly, despite your large hooves. It worked: your dad glanced behind him and motioned for you to walk beside him.
"There's my gentle giant," your dad said teasingly as you walked up beside him. "How are you doing, kiddo?"
"Just dandy," you replied. "After waking up at five in the morning, sitting in an airplane for seven hours, and having my head hit the ceiling after every bump during the two hour long car ride, I just can't wait to start unpacking," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.
A glint appeared in your father's eyes. "Who said anything about unpacking?"
You were going to ask what he meant by that, but the massive double doors being opened by two well dressed men caused your words to die in your throat. You walked forward with your mother and father, too dumbstruck to do anything but stare.
The main foyer was huge. So large, in fact, that you thought your old house could have probably fit inside of it without touching any of the walls or the ceiling. Heck, now that you thought about it, it might even have fit two. There was a golden chandelier that was attached to the ceiling, almost two stories high. You figured that it was going to be a pain in the flank to change the lights.
Your gaze scanned across the rest of the foyer, taking in dark, royal blue carpet that was laid on the floor, the intricate carvings on the wooden stair rails leading up to the second floor, and the lack of any packing boxes. You looked at your dad who grinned back at you.
"What do you think, son? Nice place, eh?" your father asked you.
"Err, yes. Yes it is," you responded. You bent down and took off your shoes, then stepped onto the carpet.
"My god," you said. "So this is what it feels like to walk on clouds..." You thought that it was funny, considering you weren't a pegasus.
Your mother and father took off their footwear and joined you. "Oh my," your mom said. "I must agree with you, darling. This carpet is simply to die for."
You and your parents spent the next hour going through the various rooms and stories of your new home. There were six bedrooms, all of them equally large in size. You were shocked to learn that each bedroom was practically a suite in itself: they each had a full-sized fridge, an oversized three dimensional television, and a bathroom. You were even more surprised to learn that there was to be a unicorn chef cooking your families meals from now on.
After taking the grand tour of the house, you asked your parents if you could go back to your room, seeing as how everything was already unpacked. Your father, however, had other plans.
"Son, your mother and I think it would be best if you went into Ponyville and at the very least say hello to some of your future classmates," your dad said.
You took a quick look at the watch on your arm. "But it's already eight o'clock!" you countered.
Your father checked his own watch, an eighteen karat gold Rolex. "I do believe you forgot about the Time Zone change, my dear boy. It's only five."
Your shoulders slumped. You had been looking forward to spending some time alone in your new room. You weren't exactly a people pony at the best of times, and right now, you were pretty beat. "Alright, I'll go."
Your father started to wave the chauffeur over, but you stopped him by saying, "Dad, I really don't think that having me dropped off in a limo is the best first impression that I can give.
"I think I'll walk."
"Stay safe, darling!" your mother called to you as you started to walk down the gravel driveway towards Ponyville, adjusting your watch as you went.
"I will, mother," you replied as you continue to walk.
Your walk didn't last all that long. Ten minutes later, you found yourself walking briskly on the sidewalk of Ponyville's main street, Mane St. You found the street name to be ironic as you continued to walk, your hands in your jean pockets to protect them from the brisk October wind. You looked up from your hooves as you noticed how far you've walked. You stopped and looked around, trying to figure out where the students would congregate on a Friday afternoon.
You eventually settled on a coffee shop/cafe hybrid called 'The Blue Pony Cafe'.
You walked in and were immediately entranced by the aroma of freshly ground coffee. You felt a shiver of anticipation run down your spine; the coffee on the plane had been atrocious, but this stuff smelt like heaven.
You took a quick look around and saw only five ponies in the cafe, two of which were using computers. You made an educated guess and figured that this wasn't the high-school haunt.
You strode over to the cashier whose eyes became wider with every step you took. She was a unicorn with shoulder-length turquoise coloured hair that had a white stripe going down the middle, and she appeared to be about a year or two older than you. Her fur colour was a few shades lighter than her hair. She was wearing a blue apron over her clothes. And she was looking at you in what appeared to be terror.
"Umm, hi there?" you asked quietly. "Are you alright?"
She blinked several times before giving her head a shake. "I'm so sorry about that. I thought you were somepony else..." she trailed off.
"I get that quite a bit—" you said as you looked read her nametag. "—Lyra."
You wondered if her name was at all related to the musical instrument, the lyre. You decided to ask.
Lyra visibly brightened when you asked. "Yes, yes I do! In fact, I'm the band leader at my school! I play all sorts of instruments, but I am by far the best at playing the lyre."
You nodded. "Cool. I hope I can see one of your performances in school sometime. I'm-uh, brand new to Ponyville."
The cashier visibly brightened when she heard that you were new to the town. "Oh, that's wonderful! I'm sure you'll find Ponyville to be the most happy and welcoming town!"
"I hope so too," you replied. You squinted at the board listing all the types of coffee behind the cashier. You had no idea what half of the words even meant.
"Can I get... uhh... a large coffee? Like, just the coffee, cream, and sugar?"
"Sure thing!" replied Lyra as she entered the amount in the cash register. "That'll be $2.79. Cash or credit?"
"Cash," you reply as you hand her a five from your wallet. Your dad had always said that cash was king, and you were inclined to agree with him.
With a little magic, the turquoise-headed pony made your coffee and handed it over to you in less than a minute. "Thank you very much," you said as you started to walk towards the exit.
"See you in school!" said the cashier happily.
"Bye, Lyra."
You stepped back out onto the sidewalk, sipping on your coffee as you determine the next place you should visit. Your decision was made for you when you saw two ponies causing a commotion in front of what appeared to be a bakery.
You were seriously considering just hoofing it out of there and leaving the two ponies to their argument, but you figured that it might be beneficial if you managed to break up the commotion.
As you walked closer, you were able to determine that the two arguing were both girls around your age. The one facing away from you had hair that was the brightest shade of pink you had ever seen that went down to the middle of her back. The other one had shoulder length hair that was coloured in the vibrant hues of the rainbow and you could see her wings fluttering in annoyance. You overheard their argument as you walked closer.
"Damnit Pinkie! How many times do I have to say it?! We're not kids anymore!" yelled the one with the rainbow hair, who you also noticed seemed to be an athletic type, given her flight suit and muscular build. Both her and her wings were a light cyan colour.
"But Dashie—" the curly pink-haired one started to respond, but was cut off. You noticed that her fur colour was also a few shades lighter than her hot pink hair. She was wearing a pink, frilled apron that had a picture of several balloons on the front, along with some sort of tacky sweater underneath.
"I told you not to call me that anymore! It's either 'Rainbow', 'Dash', or 'Rainbow Dash'!" interrupted the pegasus.
By this point, you were standing a few feet away. You cleared your throat and asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"
Startled, both of them turned to look at you. The one with the rainbow hair seemed like she was going to yell at you, but decided against it. "Nothing," she said, her tone unfriendly. "I gotta go anyway. Don't call me, Pinkie."
With that, she turned around, unfurled her wings, and flew away, leaving you alone on the sidewalk with the girl with the curly pink hair. "What was that all about?" you asked her. You couldn't help noticing that she was teary-eyed.
She sighed and said, "Dashie was mad at me for inviting her to a sleepover at my house. She said that we were too old to do things like that, since people might get 'the wrong idea'. Whatever that means." She sniffed and added, "I thought that we were friends..."
You couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She seemed so innocent.
"I'm sure that she has, uhh, other things bothering her," you said, hoping to comfort her. "You just happened to ask at the wrong time, that's all."
"I hope so," she said. She looked at you in the eyes. Her expression went from sad, to surprised, to exuberant. She gasped and made a squealing noise as she ran inside the bakery without saying a word to you.
You blinked several times, wondering what had just happened.
Shaking your head, you look around for the next place of interest. Your eye spots the words 'Library' on a nearby building, causing you to double-take.
You started to walk closer towards the building and realized that, yes, it was a library. Grinning, you adjusted your course and headed straight for the library. You needed some new material to read.
As you approached, you realized that it might not even be open this late. You quickly checked your watch. 5:25.
Your worry was for naught, however, as the sign beside the door said it closed an hour and forty-five minutes from then. You pushed the door open and as you walk through the open door, you cracked your head on the ceiling.
"Damnit!" you exclaimed, holding your head in one hand and your coffee in the other. You had to make a conscious effort not to spill your still-hot drink.
Your cursing attracted the attention of an employee of some sort, who came rushing over to see what was wrong.
"Are you alright?!" asked a nervous feminine voice.
"Y-Yeah," you said as you stood back up, slowly this time. Wincing, you continued, "Just cracked my head on your ceiling, that's all."
You took a moment to look over the pony in front of you, a female unicorn who appeared to be perhaps a year or so younger than you. You noticed that she had violet-indigo coloured hair, along with some pink highlights. Upon closer inspection, you also noticed some faint purple streaks as well. Her fur was the colour of lavender. She was wearing a school uniform several shades darker than her fur, complete with mini-skirt.
"You... you're very tall," she said, staring up to look you in the eyes.
"Tell me about it," you muttered, rubbing your head. You could feel a bump starting to rise already. "Anyway, hi there. I'm in need of a library card and a book to read."
Her whole demeanour changed when you said those magical words. "Really?! You actually want to take out some books?" she questioned.
You weren't sure why she was acting so strangely. "Uhh, yes? Why wouldn't I?"
She grabbed your arm and started dragging you over to a large desk, which you assumed was the librarian's. You could have easily broken free, but you decided to go with it. "Some explanation would be nice..." you said as you were dragged by the younger, smaller girl.
The unicorn apparently realized what she was doing and let go of your arm. "I'm sorry, I was just so excited! Nobody but the librarian and I have entered the library in weeks!"
You didn't like that at all. "That's... That's terrible!"
Your ears eventually reported the second portion of their findings back to your brain, which prompted you to ask, "Wait, if you're not the librarian... who are you and why are you helping me?" you asked, becoming slightly suspicious.
She giggled from the swivel chair in which she sat. "I'm the librarian's assistant." She pointed to a tag on her shirt. It read 'Twilight Sparkle: Library Assistant'.
Fair enough.
"Alrighty then," you replied as you looked around the library. It looked completely devoid of life and lustre. A flickering light bulb only enhanced the effect. "Why's this place so dead?"
Twilight didn't even look up from the computer screen in front of her, her fingers floating across the keyboard. "Well, if you had the option of reading anything you wanted on the Internet at any given time or having to walk to the library whenever you wanted a book, what would you pick?"
"The library. Reading on the computer hurts my eyes and gives me a headache," you replied earnestly.
Twilight stopped her typing and looked at your eyes. You noticed that they were the same colour as the purple strands of her hair.
Twilight Sparkle asked for your name, birthday, and phone number. Instead of answering, you pulled out your wallet and gave her your old library card, which already had all the necessary information written on it.
"Alright!" she said after she had given you your new library card. "What type of books do you like to read?"
You shrugged. "Anything that isn't Manespeare." Twilight laughed and motioned for you to follow her further into the library. She ended up bringing you to the new releases section.
She started pulling books out with telekinesis. "'Blood is Thicker Than Friendship'? Hmm, doesn't seem like your sort of story. 'On the Wings of Angels'? No, you don't seem to be that type." You had no idea how she determined what type of book you liked and what you type you didn't. Once again, you decided to just go with it.
"Ah, this one will do," said Twilight as she read the cover of the latest book held by her magic. "'Red Thrush Private School'. They pulled a massive recall for every copy of the book, but I managed to convince the librarian to keep this one!"
You graciously accepted the book, holding it gingerly. "Why was it recalled?" you asked.
Twilight shrugged. "I don't know. It's anypony's guess, really."
Book in hand and question semi-answered, you walked back to the sign-out desk with Twilight trailing slightly behind. You gave Twilight your brand new library card and she signed out the book for you.
"Thank you kindly, Twilight Sparkle. I may be back this weekend, depending on how quickly I read it," you said as you headed towards the exit. "And if I'm not, I'm sure I'll see you at school."
"Bye!" said Twilight as she waved.
You opened the door and stepped outside, breathing in the cold and virtually pollution-less air. You took a glance at your watch. 6:12. You frowned at your watch. How had the time flown by that quickly? You glanced up towards the sky and noticed that the Sun had started to set. With a shrug, you took the last swig of your coffee before tossing it into a conveniently placed trash can.
You were torn between two decisions: try to meet some more of your future schoolmates or go home to a nice, warm bed and read. You stared at the book in your hands.
You decided to take the easier path and began the walk back to your new home.
You went back home, eaten the best lasagne dinner you had ever had (courtesy of your family's new personal chef), then stayed locked up in your bedroom suite. The time flew by as you delved into the book that Twilight gave you. You had to admit: the book was pretty damn good.
Before you knew it, it was almost eleven o'clock and your parents were heading to bed. "Don't stay up too late, kiddo. I know it's Friday night, but you still have more socializing to do tomorrow!"
"Sure thing, dad," you replied. "'Night mom, 'night dad."
"Goodnight son."
You had made good on your father's request: you had brushed your teeth and crawled into bed at no later than 11:15. Unfortunately, you couldn't fall asleep. Your brain just wasn't cooperating when you told it to shut up.
Blinking, you struggled to refocus on the ceiling above you. You seemed to have zoned out for a little bit. Sighing, you rolled over and felt your eyes close of their own accord. You felt your mind drift off in the purgatory between consciousness and sleep.
With a yawn that would make a Manticore flinch, you snuggled deeper into your bed and fell asleep wondering what the next day would bring forth.
Naturally, it was going to be interesting, to say the least.

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         Chapter One: The Grass is Always Greener          
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Chapter Two: A Rainbow in the Dark
Anthropomorphism
Chapter Two: A Rainbow In the Dark
You were woken up from your dreamless sleep by the sound of classical music. Yawning and rubbing your eyes, you turned and looked at the your alarm clock. 10:00am.
You wondered what time you ended up falling asleep last night, as it was excruciatingly difficult to keep your eyes open.
Sighing, you turned off your alarm clock and got ready for the day. Thirty minutes later, you had showered and gotten dressed, throwing on the first clothes that you dug out of your drawers. As you made your way down the stairs, you caught the smell of something delicious.
Waffles!
You followed the scent of freshly made waffles to the dining room. You saw a pile of the delicious batter cakes stacked atop of one another in the center of the table, along with maple syrup, whipping cream, strawberries, and every other topping imaginable. Your father was sitting at the table, an untouched plate of food in front of him, engrossed as he was by the newspaper that he held.
"Good morning, son," he said without looking up.
"'Morning, dad," you replied. "What's so intriguing in the 'Canterlot Times'?"
Your dad sighed and said, "Nothing that would interest you, kiddo." He folded the newspaper and pushed it to the side. He looked at you and smiled. "You look like a hungry Diamond Dog. Sit down and eat!"
Smirking, you sat down and loaded your plate with the greatest food known to ponykind. In-between mouthfuls, you asked, "Where's mom?"
"You just missed her. She went down into Ponyville around half an hour ago," your father replied as he started on his own plate. "Are you really going to go out dressed like that?" he asked.
You looked down at yourself. You were wearing blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black blazer. "What's wrong with it?" you asked, genuinely confused.
You father shook his head and grinned. "Never mind. Changing topics, I forgot to ask you last night: did you meet any of your future classmates?"
"Yes," you said, purposefully evading a more detailed answer.
Your father raised an eyebrow. "And?"
Grumbling, you said, "I only met four of them, yet I already know that school is going to interesting, to say the least."
Your dad laughed at that, but didn't ask for any more information, of which you were grateful for. The rest of your breakfast was eaten in silence which was only broken when your dad's cell phone started ringing.
Your father looked at the number and frowned. "Sorry kiddo," he said. "I've got to take this one. Say hi to your mother if you see her!"
"I will!" you called as your dad walked away, his phone against his ear. After you finished your breakfast alone, you trudged back up the stairs to your room. You grabbed your wallet and keys. You eyed your phone, wondering if you were actually going to need it. After a quick deliberation, you decided to bring it, thinking it was better to have and not need it rather than need it and not have it.
With your stuff placed in various pockets, you left your house and started to walk down the gravel driveway to Ponyville. As you walked, you thought about the four ponies you already met.
The baker pony—Pinkie, you remembered—confused you greatly with her actions. It seemed like she only reacted the way she did when she recognized something about you. You decided to unravel that mystery later.
Your thoughts turned slightly darker as you thought about the other pony, Rainbow Dash. You didn't like it when ponies had fights—whether verbal or physical—and argument between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie was of no exception. You wondered what the spat was based upon.
You looked up from your hooves briefly noticed that you were almost at Ponyville. You were glad that two of the ponies you met—Twilight Sparkle and Lyra—were both friendly and normal.
Your musing was interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Hey! Wait up!" somepony called from behind you. You turned around and were startled to find yourself face-to-face with a  familiar blue pegasus. From the ground up, she was wearing skate shoes, track pants, and a blue zip-up hoodie. She was also wearing a pendant that had a cloud with a multi-coloured lightning bolt coming out of it.
"Dangit!" you exclaimed as you took an involuntary step back, causing the pegasus to laugh.
"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" she managed to say before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
Feeling a bit miffed, you said, "You startled me, that's all."
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say," replied the familiar pony as she forcibly repressed a smile. Her rainbow coloured hair was wet, either from a recent shower or from flying through a cloud.
Wait a second... rainbow hair?!
"You were the one yelling at Pinkie yesterday," you stated simply.
Rainbow Dash's face was impassive, but her wings fluttered nervously from your accusation. "Yeah, but that was only because she wasn't listening to me. Do you know what she was asking me?"
"Something about a sleepover," you replied.
"Exactly! I mean, we're in high school! Way too old to be having sleepovers!"
You thought about that for a moment. "Well, why don't you just tell her that? She seemed almost depressed when I talked to her..."
You saw Rainbow Dash's shoulders and wings droop slightly. "I don't want upset Pinkie..." She shivered and continued. "...Not after last time."
Bringing herself back into the present, Rainbow Dash picked up where she left off. "Pinkie is like a little kid: she's full of energy, doesn't take no for an answer, and is ignorant of the world around her." Rainbow sighed. "She's also my friend, but I don't want any rumours getting around..." she trailed off.
You raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. You weren't sure what she meant by 'rumours'.
She brushed some of her mane out of her face. "Sorry. I don't know why I decided to tell you all of that. Those are my problems, not yours." A slightly awkward silence manifested between us before it was broken by Rainbow Dash. "Anyway, the reason I flew over here was to ask if you wanted to hang out."
You blinked a couple of times, your brain not really comprehending what she just said. "You... want to hang out with me?"
Rainbow cocked her head at you. "Why are you so surprised? You seem like a pretty cool guy..."
You laughed. "Aren't we part of two completely different social niches? I'm just an average earth pony, while you're one of the athletic pegasus types."
Dash narrowed her eyes at you. "How do you know I'm an athlete?"
You were going to say 'Because I was looking at your nicely curved flank', but you realized that wouldn't be the wisest thing to say. Instead of saying that and possibly being punched in the face, you put on the best poker face you could and said, "Lucky guess?"
Apparently your poker face worked, as Rainbow Dash grunted an acknowledgement. "Well, that still doesn't explain why you don't want to hang out with me..."
You thought about how to put it into words. "Where I'm from, most of the different types of ponies kept to their own respective factions. Unicorns hung out with unicorns, Pegasi with Pegasi. Being an earth pony, I just kinda stuck to the background, not really associating with any one group over another."
Rainbow Dash nodded, seeming to understand. "I know where you're coming from. You just want to keep your options open and you don't want to be locked in with one particular group, right?"
Surprised by her comprehension, you replied, "Err, yes. That's pretty much it."
She grinned mischievously. "Here in Ponyville, the ponies aren't like that. You can hang out with whoever you want, with no consequences. So, unless you hate my guts, feel like hanging out?"
You were surprised by just how much weight was lifted off of your shoulders after being told that piece of information. Grinning in return, you shrugged and said, "Sure. Why not?"
"Cool! Follow me: I'll show you around town."
As you walked beside Rainbow Dash, you wondered what her ulterior motives were.
Unless, of course, ponies here really were that friendly.
Looking around, you caught a glimpse of the same bright pink building that was unlike any other. “That's the bakery, right?” you asked.
Dash laughed and flew ahead of you, hovering above the ground. “Yep! Pinkie works there after school.”
You thought that the building looked absurd; the walls were the only part of it that gave it any resemblance to a normal building. Looking up, you noticed that the shingles appeared to be made of gingerbread with icing along the outskirts of the roof. Absolutely ridiculous.
“Is this... thing... architecturally safe?” you asked cautiously, thinking that a building with a gingerbread roof would collapse from the first storm of the season.
Rainbow Dash laughed at you. “I doubt it, but none of the pieces have broken off, so I guess it’s sturdy enough. Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to follow me?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you replied as you tore your eyes from the chaotic structure.
Rainbow Dash had already moved on, passing out of the main town area. “C’mon already!” she called. Swallowing your retort, you continued on.
“If you hadn’t already noticed, this is the park,” said Rainbow Dash as you caught up to her. There were several benches strewn about on a freshly cut expanse of grassy hill. “Little known fact,” whispered Rainbow Dash, almost conspiratorially. “This is one of the best napping spots in Ponyville.”
You briefly glanced around, noting the layer of dew on just about everything that hadn’t yet been burned off by the Sun. “Really? I would’ve never guessed...”
Rolling her eyes at you, Dash flew up into the sky and disappeared into a passing cloud. “Who said anything about sleeping on the ground?” she called down at you.
You were slightly amused by her antics. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a pegasus. In fact, I rather like it down here. On the ground.”
“Be there in a sec!” called Rainbow from above the clouds. You waited for her to fly down, but you didn’t see her. After a minute of waiting, you were getting impatient. You were about to shout at Rainbow Dash, but before you could, you heard her yell, “Incoming!”
A cyan blur made a hole straight through the clouds above you, a rainbow trail following in it’s wake. It took you a second to realize that it was Rainbow Dash with her wings fully outstretched, her body tucked into the streamlined position that Pegasi acrobats and stunt flyers had adopted. And she was coming straight towards you.
You raised your arms instinctively to protect yourself from the inevitable crash. Instead of being hit by a pegasus going at top speed, you were only met with rushing air. Cautiously lowering your arms, you saw Rainbow Dash landing beside you on a flat patch of grass. She shook her wings, causing all the accumulated water droplets to condense into a fine mist around her. The mist cast an ethereal rainbow around Dash’s head. An expectant smile was present on her lips.
You knew that Rainbow Dash was just showing off, but she did it really damn well.
“How the hay did you do that?” you asked in astonishment. “That was awesome!”
Rainbow Dash face flushed slightly from your praise. “Just a trick I learned by accident,” said Rainbow, who was making a visible effort to be humble. It didn’t last long. “Alright, it was pretty awesome, wasn’t it?”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” you replied honestly. “Is that your signature move?”
Rainbow Dash tossed her now wet hair to the side and folded up her wings. “One of. I'm not a one trick pony! My name isn’t ‘Rainbow Dash’ for nothing!”
Chuckling, you asked, “So, where to next?”
Rainbow Dash thought for a second before answering. “Well, the school’s just down the road, so I’d say there.”
“Sounds good.”
\\\
A short walk later, you and Rainbow came within eyesight of your new high school.
"This is it: Ponyville High School! Whaddaya think?" asked Rainbow Dash as you walked along the sidewalk bordering the school.
"It... well, it looks like a school. Can't say much more without being inside..." you replied.
Dash rolled her eyes at you. "Yeah, yeah. Being a smart-flank is my job, not yours."
"Whatever you say, Dash," you replied as earnestly as you could manage. She glared at you for a few seconds. You returned it with the cheesiest smile you possessed.
"Well... that's pretty much Ponyville in a nutshell of for ya," said Rainbow Dash. "Any questions?"
'Why did you take time out of your Saturday to show the new kid around?' was what you wanted to ask.
Instead, you asked, "Yeah. Where can we go for lunch? I'm starving." Your statement was punctuated by a stomach growling. It took you a second to realize that it came from Rainbow Dash.
"Good call, newbie. Up for some corn dogs and hay fries? I know the best spot..."
"Sounds good, Rainbow," you replied as you followed Dash, who had already started to walk away.
After walking in silence for a few minutes while having the question gnawing on your insides like an angry cockatrice, you finally cracked.
"I've been meaning to ask," you said as you caught up to her, as Rainbow had a rather quick stride. "Why are you doing this?"
Dash gave you the most adorably innocent expression. "Doing what?"
You put your head in your hand. "This!" You motioned with your free hand around you. "Showing me all the hotspots, practically being my tour guide, and now lunch! You don't even know me!"
You saw Rainbow Dash's wings extend and flutter nervously. You wondered what it would be like to have your strong emotions reflected in the state of your wings.
"What? You don't believe me when I said that I thought you were a cool guy?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.
You gave her a bemused look.
"I... I can't tell you why. I promised not to..." admitted Rainbow Dash. "I'd like to tell you, but I just can't." Sighing, she said, "Please don't hate me for dragging you around town..."
You were surprised by this turn of events, so you tapped Rainbow on the shoulder to get her to stop. "I'm not angry, nor do I hate you. I'm just curious as to why you just appeared out of nowhere with the hang out offer. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine."
You'd figure it out... eventually.
She looked at you suspiciously, her shoulders slumped. "Are you sure? I'd be pretty annoyed if someone did what I did to you."
You waved her guilt aside. "I already said it's fine. Now, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to show me where the bloody restaurant is?"
Her posture straightening, Rainbow Dash cracked a smile and continued walking down the sidewalk. You followed with a smile of your own, glad that you didn't scare off your first potential friend.
\\\
Five minutes later, you and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a cozy little booth, awaiting your food. Dash had lead you to an old-fashioned diner called 'The Sticky Wicket'. You didn't know what a 'wicket' was, but you liked the atmosphere of the place.
"So," began Rainbow Dash, knocking you out of your ponderings. "How do ya like Ponyville so far?"
You grinned at her from across the table. "It's... interesting, to say the least. I've only met like, four people here, but it already seems to be a great place to live." You paused for a moment, wondering if you should ask a question that had been bothering you ever since last night. You decided to go through with it.
"When I talked to Pinkie last night, her attitude completely changed when she looked at my face. She seemed... I don't know, excited? Do you have any idea why?"
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing, causing some disapproving stares to be thrown her way from some of the other customers. You nervously mouth 'Sorry' to them. Wiping tears from her eyes, Rainbow Dash managed to say, "Oh... oh my. You are in for a big surprise on Monday!"
"What?! What does that mean?!" you demanded.
"Sorry, can't say. Everypony new has to go through it. It's practically tradition," explained Rainbow Dash as she stifled her laughs.
You groaned. You could already tell that Monday was going to be absolutely stellar.
Your grim future thoughts were interrupted by a waitress approaching your booth holding two plates of food. "Here you go! Two corndogs with a side of hay fries. You kids enjoy!"
"Thank you," you said politely. Not wanting to be outdone, Rainbow Dash said, "Thank you very much." The waitress smiled and walked away, but not before giving you a wink. You weren't sure what that meant, though.
Grumbling to yourself about being unable to understand females, you delved into the food in front of you. Across the table, Rainbow Dash was doing the same. You were going to ask her what was next on the agenda, but before you could, you heard a loud, grating voice yell, "Hey look! It's Rainbow Crash! And she's got a coltfriend!"
You look over at Rainbow Dash who put her head in her hands. "Not them again..." you heard her groan.
"Are they going to be a problem?" you asked quietly.
"They never freakin' leave me alone!" she whispered back to you.
You sighed. Second day here, and you were about to make some enemies that would last much longer. You glanced out of the corner of your eye towards the three Pegasi walking towards your booth from down the aisle. "Who's your coltfriend, Rainbow Crash?" asked the leader of the delinquents.
"He's not my coltfriend! Leave me alone!" Dash responded.
The three Pegasi just stood there, grinning like idiots. You took matters into your own hands.
"I'm going to ask nicely. Go away."
The pegasus on the right, his colour a dull brown and his hair falling over his face, snorted. "We got a tough guy over here. Whaddaya gonna do about it?"
You grinned a smile that wouldn't look out of place on a Timberwolf. Dropping your voice lower so only he would here, you said, "Listen here, you degenerates: I just moved here from a town that wasn't a tenth as nice as this one. Ponies fought each other on a daily business, and ponies got hurt. You got by from sheer reputation and intimidation."
You leaned in closer to add even more weight to your words.
"And I'm not afraid to make an example of you three jokers."
As dull as they were, they were still bright enough to know when to quit. Backing away, the ringleader taunted you as they filed out the door. "Alright, you win this round! You better watch your back, though! Come on, bronies!"
You struggled not to laugh: your ruse had actually worked!
The reprobates piled outside. Shaking your head, you slid back into the booth. You felt a bit uneasy when you noticed that everyone, including Rainbow Dash, was staring at you.
"Umm. Sorry about that, folks. Carry on with what you were doing..." you replied shyly, just a tad embarrassed from all the attention. You heard a few chuckles come from some of the members of your audience which broke the tension that you hadn't realized was there. Everypony in the diner went back to what they were doing before the brief showdown. As you briefly glanced from face to face, you were given nods and smiles.
Had nobody seen a confrontation before? You turned your attention to Rainbow Dash, who was staring at you, her mouth agape.
"Alright, can you please stop that?" you asked. "Why is everypony acting like this?"
Rainbow Dash shook her head in what you assumed to be disbelief. "You... you actually stood up for me..."
You were confused. "I don't understand. I only did what a friend should do."
Her voice grew quiet as she spoke again. "Nobody ever stands up for me. I'm always the one to stand up for somepony else..."
"Well, at least I was here to do the job that nopony else would do, eh?" you said, trying to break Dash out of her stupor. Thankfully, it worked. Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she returned to her plate as you returned to yours.
"...Thanks."
You finished chewing before answering. "Don't mention it. Think of it as the first part in me paying you back for showing me around town."
Rainbow Dash finished her plate before asking, "What's part two?"
Instead of answering, you waved over the waitress that had served you the food. "Cheque, please," you said as she came within hearing distance.
"Will that be cash or credit, young man?"
"Cash," you responded.
The waitress handed you the cheque. After eyeing the total, you pulled out a twenty bit bill and said, "Keep the change."
Giving you another wide smile, the waitress said to you, "Thank you kindly, young man." She turned and addressed Rainbow Dash. "You be nice to him, Rainbow. He's a keeper!" she said before walking away.
Blushing, Rainbow Dash said, "C'mon, let's get out of here. I'm about to die of embarrassment..."
You motioned for her to go first, a grin plastered on your muzzle.
As you both exited the diner and started to walk down the street, you said with a sly smile, "Hey, guess what? Apparently I'm a keeper!"
Rainbow Dash punched you in the arm without looking at you. You struggled to not let out a pained whine; she hit you a lot harder than you were expecting. "Jeez, sorry! I was just kidding..."
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by someone yelling from across the street.
"Darling! How lovely to see you! Who's your new friend?"
Now it was your turn to put your head in your hands. You were starting to think that an ancient deity was screwing with you. "Hi, mom. This is Rainbow Dash," you said as you motioned towards Dash with one of your hands. Rainbow gave a weak wave in reply.
"I'm so glad that you've already made a friend, sweetie!" your mother exclaimed. She was wearing what appeared to be a new dress, but you weren't entirely sure. She had another bag of who-knew-what in her left hand. "Are you going to need a ride home, darling? I can call the li—"
"No-no-no," you replied quickly, cutting off your mother before she could ruin your social life before it had even begun. "I'll be fine with walking."
"Alright then! Bye sweetie!" called your mom as she walked down the sidewalk away from you and Rainbow Dash.
"Goodbye, mother." You pinched the bridge of your nose. That was too close... "Sorry about that," you said to the blue pegasus beside you.
"It's fine." She seemed to think for a moment before smiling. "I just realized that we're now even in embarrassing situations."
"That we are, Rainbow Dash. That we are..." you replied. You shuffled your feet, unsure of where to go from here.  "Err, thanks for showing me around today. You made it a lot less painful than it could have been."
"Thanks for standing up to those jerks at the diner. They've been bothering me ever since I crashed during flight practice. And thanks for... buying me lunch." She said the last sentence quieter than the others.
"It was my pleasure." You scratched the back of your neck. "Sorry, I'm really bad at saying goodbye. So goodbye!" you said as you turned tail and started to walk towards your house.
"Wait! Do you have a phone?" called Dash. You scoffed inwardly. Did you have a phone...
"Yes, I have a phone. Why, does Dashie want my number?" you teased.
She growled at you. Literally growled at you. "Don't make this any harder than it needs to be!"
"That's what she sai—" you started to say, but stopped abruptly when you noticed the death glare that Rainbow Dash was giving you. "Err, never mind. Here, pass me your phone and I'll put my number in."
Rainbow handed you her phone, one of the new 'Cyborg' variants that you've heard about. You entered in your name and number, then handed it back to Rainbow Dash. "Thanks," she said as she tucked the phone back into her hoodie.
"No problem. See you later!" you called as you continued the walk to your house.
\\\
When you arrived at your house, you decided to stay in your bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, only coming out for dinner. Your excuse was that your required socializing was already done for the day. You ended up reading more of the library book that you had rented, along with setting up your gaming console and computer.
"Everything's already unpacked, they said. It's all connected properly, they said," you grumbled agitatedly as you plugged the audio and video input wires into your television. The movers obviously had no technological experience whatsoever.
Your computer was set up even worse. It took you the better part of an hour to reattach the cables into their rightful places and set up the stereo system to your preferences.
You ended up going to bed early, as exhausted as you were from the fit of insomnia that had hit you the previous night. This night, however, you had no trouble falling asleep.
You grimly smiled as you finally obtained vision of your opponent. You had been followed your quarry for what felt like hours through dense foliage and urban wastelands alike. Your patience had finally paid off: your target was unaware that you had its head in your sights.
You quickly glance over at the target's statistics. Over eight-hundred feet away. Seven mile per hour wind coming in from the North-east.
You adjusted your sight to compensate for the drop and wind resistance. You held your breath, feeling your heartbeat pumping through your ears. Exhaling, you said, "'Nighty night, cupcake," as you pulled the trigger.
Your aim was true, the bullet hitting your target right between the eyes. The spray of red mist was accompanied by the shockwave generated by the supersonic round. Your target flew backwards, blood dripping from where its head used to be.
"How the hay do you keep doing that?! There's no way you can have aim that perfect!" screamed Rainbow Dash over the headset, which brought you back to reality. You leaned back into your comfy chair and placed your controller in its designated sleeve on the side of the chair, it's surface coated in sweat from hours of intense gaming.
"Patience, Dash. Patience," you replied. "'Pony Warfare 3' is called a 'tactical shooter' for a reason, y'know. You can't just run around without a sniper putting a bullet in your head from a mile away."
"That's thirteen times in a row! Are you using aimbot or something?"
"No, I'm just a really good sniper. Practice makes perfect," you replied, trying to keep the smugness out of your tone.
You heard a growl come from the headset. "Alright, you have to teach me how to be that good!"
You pushed the microphone away from your mouth and sighed. You weren't even all that good at 'Pony Warfare 3': Rainbow Dash was just really bad at it. Readjusting the microphone, you said, "No promises." You glanced at your watch. 10:12pm. "Sorry Dash, it's getting late. I'm going to go to bed."
"C'mon, one more match! Please!" pleaded Rainbow over the headset.
"That's what you said last match," you replied. "And the match before. I'm putting my hoof down this time. You should go to bed too, Dash. We have school tomorrow, remember?"
You heard a rush of static, which you presumed was Rainbow sighing. "Alright, you got a point. Don't want to miss first block again, I guess. See ya tomorrow!"
"See you at school," you replied as stood up and powered down your X-Station. You disentangled the headset from around your ear and placed it next to your stack of games. You left your bedroom and began the descent to the living room. As you walked down the stairs, you wondered if you did anything productive all day.
Let's see... you woke up at noon, finished the book that Twilight lent you, got a text from Rainbow Dash asking if you had an 'X-Station'... nope, nothing productive at all had been done on this day.
A grin came to your face as you thought a bit more on the topic. Sundays were made for lazing around, right?
"Somepony's in a good mood tonight," your father said. "Excited for school, kiddo?"
Your dad knocked you out of your reverie, making you notice that you were standing in the doorway to the living room. You weren't sure how long you had been standing there for, but you hoped it wasn't for too long. "You could say that," you replied. "I came down to say goodnight. 'Night mom, 'Night dad."
"Goodnight, son."
"Goodnight, sweetie. Have fun at school tomorrow!"
"I will." You hoped.
With the nights salutations given, you ascended the staircase once more, the fluffiness of the carpet warming your otherwise bare feet. You brushed your teeth, grateful for the fact that you had your own bathroom. Wearing nothing but boxer shorts, you crawled into bed. You felt your eyelids grow heavy as you stared at the ceiling, thinking about tomorrow.
As your eyelids closed of their own accord, you inwardly hoped that nothing overly crazy would happen at school tomorrow.