Chapter 1
The Great and Powerful Trixie's Evil Council of Doom
This is a parody of LittleKuriboh's/CardGamesFTW's Yu-Gi-Oh abridged You Tube video "Marik's Evil Council of Doom." I do not intend to steal his idea, I give him full credit for this.
Somewhere in the Everfree Forest...
In a secret underground cavern, a blue unicorn mare in a magician's robe and hat stood in front of a small crowd of villains.
"Welcome villains. The Great and Powerful Trixie is glad to see you all came. The Great and Powerful Trixie has assembled all the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic villains into one place. This night shall see the end of Twilight Sparkle and her pathetic friends! With our combined evil, we shall defeat them. . . Somehow! Now for the evil roll call! Steven Magnet the Mustachioed Sea Serpent!"
"This evil council is simply fabulous!" the sea serpent said as he stoked his half purple, half orange mustache.
"Gilda the Griffon!"
"Word to your mama!" Gilda said as she gave the "rock on!" hand sign.
"Snips and Snails the unicorn colts!"
"We love you, oh Great and Powerful Trixie!" Snips cried.
"Yeah!" Snails added.
"Green Dragon of the Everfree Forest that tried to kill Spike!"
"Helloooooo Equestria!" the huge green dragon shouted.
"Small Diamond Dog!"
"Gems!" the dog said.
"Medium and Large Diamond Dogs!"
"Duh!" they both said.
"And finally," Trixie said, but stopped and looked down at the paper on the table in front of her, "How do you pronounce this dragon name! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not speak 'Dragoneeze'. Look, I'm just gonna call you Basil the Red Dragon that got beat by Fluttershy, okay?"
The red dragon just muttered intelligibly.
"Yes, okay. Now then, on to business. Evilbusiness! Nyeh-heh-heh-heh!" Trixie laughed.
"Wait a minute. Is this it? These are all the villains from Friendship is Magic?" Gilda asked in disbelief.
"What are you blathering about?" Trixie said.
Gilda tossed her hands into the air and said, "Come on! This can'tbe it! There's got to be more. I mean, what about Luna?"
"We don't need Princess Luna! She would just slow us down with all her money, power, and resources. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." Trixie said with a smile.
"She turned you down, didn't she?" Gilda said with a smirk.
"No! Don't you get it! Luna isn't one of us! She's not villain material! She's not even evil! She was being controlled! If anything she's more like an anti-hero: the worst kind of hero there is! They give us villains a good name!" Trixie ranted, pounding the table with her hoof.
"But wait; I'm not a villain either!" Steven Magnet said.
"Of courseyou're a villain! You kept the mane cast from crossing the river because half of your stupid mustache got cut off by Princess Anti-Hero! Remember?"
"I was just confused. I didn't know what I was doing. Honestly!" Steven whimpered, stroking his mustache nervously.
"Is that what you said to your parents when they saw that hideously lame mustache you're wearing right now!" Gilda shot out.
Snips and Snails burst out laughing.
"Silence!" Trixie shouted, "The Great and Powerful Trixie commands that you all shut-up! We didn't come here to discuss Steven's ugly mustache!"
"I did!" the green dragon said.
"Shut up! What we came here to do is defeat Twilight Sparkle once and for all!"
"Gems!" the little diamond dog said.
"By the way, there are no free cupcakes, it was a lie," Trixie remarked.
"Gems," the diamond dog moaned sadly.
"So how are we going to defeat them?" Gilda asked, and then she smiled evilly, "Are we going to kill them? Because I would be totallyon board with that. Especially if it involves turning Pinkie Pie into cupcakes! I feel so excited whenever I think of that. . ."
"No!" Trixie shouted in horror, "We can't kill them! This is a children's show! That would be too obvious anyway. . ."
"Too fun, more like it. . ." Gilda muttered.
"Drum roll, please," Trixie said, and her horn glew, filling the cavern with the sound of a drum roll. "In order to defeat Twilight Sparkle and her friends, we're going to. . . play a game of horse-shoes with them! Dun-dun-duuuuun!"
As the drum roll continued, Gilda stared at Trixie as if she were insane. "That's your plan?" she said incredulously.
"This will be no ordinary game. It will... Grr, stupid drum roll!" Trixie's horn stopped glowing, and the drum roll stopped, "Thank you. This game will take place... on a boat!"
"A boat?" Gilda said while rolling her eyes.
"Yes! Ingenious isn't it!"
"Why a boat?" Gilda asked.
"Because, when they lose the game... we'll... push them over the edge of the boat! ...Into the sea!" Trixie said, nervously looking around in embarrassment.
"And what is the point of that!" Gilda roared.
"Well, their manes and tails will be soaked! It will take them hours to dry them!" Trixie called out desperately.
"Why do we even need to play a game? Why can't we just push them off the boat?" Gilda shouted.
Trixie though about this, but then she stomped her hooves and shouted, "No! The game is integral to the plot! The evil plot! Of which The Great and Powerful Trixie is the evil mastermind!"
"Uh... hey! Where are all the winged ponies?" Snips asked.
"Yeah, heh-heh, where are the winged ponies?" Snails asked.
"What did they just say?" Trixie asked Gilda.
"I think they want to know why there aren't any pegasi here," Gilda said,
"Foalish-foals! There are no evil pegasi! They've all been harvested of their Spectra at the Rainbow Factory by Rainbow Dash!"
"Keep telling yourself that," Steven said sarcastically.
Gilda sighed in exasperation and said, "Look, if we're going to defeat those ponies, we need to think of something truly evil. Something that doesn't involve playing horse-shoes!"
"What? No horse-shoes? You're insane! ... I mean, more insane than the rest of us!" Trixie shouted.
"I have an idea!" the green dragon said.
"Oh? And what's your idea, giant green dragon?" Trixie asked.
"Why don't we destroy all of Equestria?"
Everyone stared at him.
"That was a joke," he muttered.
"Well, we're not laughing!" Trixie shouted, "What about you Basil, do you have any ideas?"
The red dragon mumbled something.
"Yeah that's great, shut-up," Trixie said quickly.
"Wait a minute," Gilda said, "If these are all the Friendship is Magic villains, then where's Discord, and Prince Blueblood, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie didn't invite them; they're just a bunch of dorks."
Gilda smiled and said, "For once, we agree on something."
Meanwhile ,in the center of the Canterlot Castle Palace Labyrinth...
Discord paced around in a circle as he shouted, "This is an outrage! Trixie is having an evil council meeting, and we're not invited! They've even got free cupcakes, the jerks!"
"That Trixie is so uncouth!" Prince Blueblood said.
"Yeah, she's so lousy you'd think she was a blank-flank!" Diamond Tiara said.
"Yeah!" Silver Spoon added.
Discord stomped the ground hard and said, "We're not going to let her get away with this. We'll have our own evil council, and ours will be much better. And we'll have cotton candy and chocolate milk! Cotton candy and chocolate milk is better than cupcakes. Isn't that right, my evil chaos making henchmares?"
"HOORAY!" Diamond Tiara cheered.
"Overly sweet peasant fair food, urk," Blueblood muttered.
Back in the Everfree Forest...
"Come on, one of you villains must have a decent plan to defeat Twilight and her friends!" Trixie shouted in frustration.
"Duh, I've got an idea!" the large Diamond Dog said.
"Oh, goody. The big lurching freak job has an idea," Trixie said with no enthusiasm at all, "Well, go ahead and sock it to us, big dog.
"Duh, what if we stole their Elements of Harmony while the Princesses are asleep? Then they won't be able to stop us."
"That's the dumbest idea The Great and Powerful Trixie has ever heard! You go to the back of the class!"
"Doh, I'm so stupid..."
"Gems!"
"What is it, puppy dog? Do you have an idea that doesn't involve stealing gems?" Trixie said with zero interest.
"Gems. . ."
Gilda suddenly lost her temper. She jumped into the air and roared. "Enough of this!" she shouted, "There's only one way to truly defeat those six uncool losers, and I know what it is!"
"For the last time, we're not killing them!" Trixie shouted back, "Even if we did, The Hub would just censor it!"
"We're not going to kill them," Gilda said simply.
"Then tell us, G, what shall we do?" Trixie said with interest.
"Don't call me G!"
"What's wrong, missing Rainbow Crash?" Trixie mocked.
"Listen to me!" Gilda said, "The only way to defeat them is to bribe Derpy Hooves to junk their mailboxes!"
"Junk their what?" Trixie said slowly.
"Their mailboxes," Gilda said with a malicious grin on her beak, "If we give Derpy enough muffins, she'll deliver hundreds of pieces of junk mail to their mailboxes, and then they'll all have to surrender to our superior might!"
Trixie taped a hoof to her chin, and then she smiled broadly and said, "That does actually sound like a good idea. It's very evil! The Great and Powerful Trixie likes it. Now, let's go defeat Twilight Sparkle and her friends once and for all!"
"Hey, I didn't get to say anything!" the medium Diamond Dog complained.
"Save it for the next meeting," Trixie said quickly before she vanished in a poof of smoke.
Basil muttered darkly.
"You said it, Basil," the unfortunate canine remarked.
Meanwhile, in the center of the Canterlot Castle Palace Labyrinth...
"And so, in order to defeat Trixie, we'll bribe Derpy Hooves into junking her mailbox!" Discord said, and he laughed his trademark evil laugh, thunder and lighting raging behind him.
"Great idea, sir!" Prince Blueblood said.
"Where our cotton candy and chocolate milk! I want it! I WANT IT NOW!" Diamond Tiara said as she began to throw a tantrum.
"ME TOO! ME TOO! ME TOO! ME TOOOOOOOO!" Silver Spoon whined.
"Candy and milk my hoof!" Blueblood complained, "I deserve better than that. I expect some decent 2 inch by 2 inch cucumber sandwiches, some well aged red wine and cheese. . ."
Discord face pawed with his lion paw and sighed, "Oh dear, I'm surrounded by brats. . ."
