Discord may cry

by naga

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover
Length: 4706

The legendary demon slayer Dante has been contracted to resque the main 6 from Discord in the chaos relm by Celestia. Only one thing is certain, their will be hell to pay.

Dante is a legend in his own field, daemon slaying. However he is also a lazy, deadbeat slob who handles money worse than Michael Jackson. Now he has Been contracted by Celestia to rescue her student from the evil clutches of Discord. If he can pull it off she has promised to pay off all his debt and more, time to see if Devils can cry.

(Why am I doing this to myself….)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-23 02:49:54 UTC

Temen-ni-gru

Dante stood outside the abandoned warehouse, he pushed the old door finding it rusted shut. Frowning he punched the door which proceeded to groan and fall in. "Shit." He said rolling his eyes, setting down his guitar case he walked over to something covered in a gray cloth dust settled on top. He flung the tarp off to reveal a stunning motorcycle, while a little old and a bit worse for wear the old machine was a beauty in it's own respect. Smiling he slung the guitar case over his back and flung his legs over the side of the bike. He thrust his back hoof down and pulled back on the handle producing a roar from the engine, that then proceeded to sputter out and die. Dante tried several times to start it but was met by considerably less success than the first. Looking down he noticed that the gas gauge was at empty.

"Of course." He said hitting his head against the handlebars. Getting off he found a gas can and filled the tank about a third of the way up before running out. This time when he cranked her up she roared like a beast unleashed. "Now that's what I'm talking about." He said he revved the engine a few times before turning the crank back holing the bike in position for a few seconds before letting it blast forward and out the door he had broken. "Hope Celestia covers that door to." he said as he spun off.

He made for the highway weaving in and out of traffic like a mad pony, a few times people screamed at him and one even asked if he had a death wish. To witch he gave the stallion an inane gesture off and kept riding. Eventually he pulled off to get some more fuel considering he had very little to start with and he wasn't exactly conserving fuel. As he pumped the gas a unicorn mare with one red eye walked out of the shop, she had a black mane and a grey coat and her face was scarred, but she still kept an attractive look about her despite the disfiguration. She looked over at Dante and smiled, "Yo! Dante, long time no see. You got my money?" She said walking over to him her hips swaying back and forth.

"Lady, after this job I will. So why don't you just leave me alone." He said. Closing his eyes and leaning back. "In fact I'll pay back all my debts after this job, so just wander on off will ya?"

She blinked. "How?"

"I got me a job from Celestia herself, if I finish it she promised to pay off all my debts." He said rather proudly.

Lady laughed, "Man, she's gonna bleed the royal treasury dry as a bone!" Dante looked less pleased as he finished pumping the gas and payed the machine and got on his bike. Lady looked back at Dante smiling, "What's the job?" she said.

"Discord got free and kidnapped her student." he said.

"Twilight Sparkle? Why doesn't she just get her back herself?" Lady asked confused sitting on the back of Dante's bike.

Dante smiled, "Because he took her and fled into the demon realm. That's where I come in, I go in, kick his ass and bring her back."

Lady contemplated this for a second before responding, "How are you going to get there?" suddenly it hit her "You're going there aren't you?" She said looking concerned. "Last time you were there you nearly died."

Dante rolled his eyes, "That was different, last time I had to deal with Vergil, this time all I have to do is open the gate and I'm good."

Lady looked at him unsure, "You sure you don't want backup? I'm heading out there anyway."

"No, when you help you end up billing me and I'm not in the mood to deal with that."

Lady rolled her eyes, "I said I was going there anyway, a contractor of mine wants something from in there for his personal collection. So we'd be helping each other out, and if it makes it any better I promise not to charge you a bit. Deal?" She said extending her hoof.

Dante eyed her hoof like a plate of worms, then sighed and shook it. "I'm going to regret this." He said beaten.

She smiled, "Come on demon boy, it'll be just like old times." and with that she hopped off. "Wait here a sec, I'll be right out." And with that she ran around to the back of the little store, a few seconds later she rode up on a motorcycle considerably newer than Dante's wearing a bright red helmet, on the side was an enormous rocket launcher with a bayonet on then end. "Ready?" she said smiling.

Dante grinned back, "Just try to keep up." he said racing out of the lot.

"Your on." She said following him in close pursuit. They sped on, occasionally one passing the other but never for long as the other quickly caught up. Eventually they reached their destination, the ruined city of Old Canterlot. It had long since become overrun with demons ever since Dante's twin brother Vergil had raised the tower Temen-ni-gru, a gate to the demon world sealed by their father Sparda. They paused on the outskirts of the city looking in.

"Ready?" Dante asked looking over to Lady. In response she revved her engine and sped ahead of him, smiling he followed close in persuit. Upon entering the city they were met by several lesser demons wielding scythes each looking like minerature death's. Swerving through the rubble Dante drew his pistol Ebony and began putting rounds into any who got to close to his bike. Lady did the same except with a SMG equiped with a bayonet similar to the one on her launcher. Dante sped forward lauching himself airborne with a slate of blacktop as a ramp. He drew the sister pistol to Ebony, Ivory, and flipped his bike upside down and fired rapidly taking out a handfull of lesser demons. Landing he slid into several more before speeding on and verticaly up a wall to ride horizontaly to the ground. He continued doing this until he lost momentum and fell back to the ground turning just in time to keep going without loosing momentum.

Eventualy he reached a clearing where Lady stood beside her bike helmet in hoof looking unimpressed. "What took you so long?"

"Stoped for pizza." Dante smirked back, looking up at the tower that stood over them he sighed. Been a while eh?" He said.

"Not long enough." Lady said loosing her smile. The Tower itself looked out of place among the rubble of the buildings, the architecture was remanicent of ancient Rome but with a gothic twist. Dante looked to Lady loosing the goofy gin and donning a more serious attitude.

"You sure you can handle this?" He said.

"Yes," Lady said looking determined. "This time I'm ready."

Cerberus

There before them stood the immense ruins of the tower Temen-ni-gru, even in it's crumbling state it was still impressive. Its Greek/Victorian mix style made it look strange but at the same time a marvel to look at. The entrance was blocked by a large slab of stone that had fallen from somewhere above.Dante looked at it disapprovingly, "Well this wasn't here before." Lady however smiled.

"I've got this." She said swinging her rocket launcher to bear and firing. The enormous missile slammed into the slab of stone in a ball of fire launching dust into the air. The rock however still stood stubborn and obstinate.

Dante laughed, "Things as stubborn as you are." Lady gave him a pissed look as she shouldered the launcher for another shot, but before she could Dante raised his hand and took the guitar case off his back, unzipping it.

Lady smirked. "What, are you going to sing it a song or something?" Dante smiled and pulled out his enormous sword, Rebellion. At this Lady lost her smile for a second but soon regained it. "Come on you really think you can.." Dante shut her up by making a slashing motion and cleaving the enormous rock in two with a single sweep. At this lady slung the launcher over her shoulder and grabbed her equipment without a single word. The two entered the tower, the entry hall was a large dome covered in an unmeaning ice with ice the size of small buildings hanging from differing places on the ceiling and floor offering stability to the room. Suddenly from the ice burst a three headed dog, each head and most parts of the body covered in ice like armor. It lunged at them snarling, Lady brought her launcher and SMG to bear but Dante put a hand on the barrel of her gun and pushed it down as he walked forward. He broke into a sprint and launched himself at the dog jumping a ways off the ground.

Spinning he brought his hoof to bear and punched right through the ice on the central head shattering it and hitting the dog on the nose shouting, "Sit!" as he did so. The dog immediately sat down and began to whimper.

"I am sorry master, I did not recognize you. It has been so long since you last came here. My apologies." The massive beast said lowering its maw.

Dante smiled and patted the massive canine on the head. "It's okay boy, it's my fault I keep forgetting to walk you. Mind letting us past?"

The dog wagged it's massive tail. "Of course master, you have already proved yourself a worthy champion and while the mortal I am unsure of I trust you judgment."

"Good boy." He said patting the massive beast on the head. walking past. Lady quickly caught up obviously nervous.

"The hell was that?" She asked once they were past the monstrous dog.

"Oh that?" Dante said brushing some dust of his coat. "That's Cerberus, he's the guardian of this place."

Lady looked back unsure, but continued on anyway. They entered the main spire, rubble littered the floor but for the most part the tower seemed in tact on the inside. "Well this is where we part ways." She said smiling, "My objective should be around here someplace, see you later devil boy."

Dante smiled, "Remember when we first met?" Dante said gesturing to the stairs most of witch were in ruin. She smiled and swung the launcher to bear and fired at an angle, Dante ran forward jumping onto the missile riding it like a skate board. "Woooohooo!" he shouted as he rode the rocket up angling it to the top of the tower.

"Stallions." She said shaking her head walking away.

Dante rode the missile for a few 30 floors before jumping off letting it harmlessly run out of fuel and clatter to the floor. Smiling he walked over to a door and kicked it open. From the side he heard a cackling and spun just in time to deflect and attack from an enormous shade wielding an equally large scythe. Using his sword he knocked the attack away and followed up with a flurry of strikes knocking the shade back. As the beast stumbled back a few steps he drew Ebony and shot a flurry of rounds into the beast, instead of blood however the beast let out dust. The shade recovered quickly and vanished in a cloud of shadows. It apeared behind him slashing with its gigantic blade but Dante blocked it behind his back, turning around he cleaved the shade in two. It stood there for a few seconds before falling into dust. Returning his sword to its place he walked on leaving the dead shade behind.

After making his way up a flight of stairs he found himself in a circular room, in the center a small indent in the floor with a bit of dried blood in it. Bringing an amulet from beneath his shirt he placed it in the dip. Using the blade of Rebellion he cut his palm and dripped a bit of his blood into the indent. The room shuddered as power amassed in the gem drawing in the blood. The entire room rumbled as power flooded around the room and shot into the gem. Radiating with power the gem floated into the air, suddenly from within the gleaming gem shot a beam of pure darkness. A darkness radiated about the room turning the room inside out then a portal opened, grabbing the amulet from the air he returned it to its place beneath his shirt now glowing with a demonic energy. Dante smiled, "Hope the locals aren't awake." he said before jumping headfirst into the deamon realm.

Stylish!

Darkness surrounded Dante, then a light shone in front of him blinding him. As his eyes adjusted he could see that the light came from a street light, it was bent and dented but still in one piece, which is more than could be said for the city. Bits of sidewalk jutted out here and there, the buildings were in ruin for the most part and the few that still stood were in serious disrepair. "Look's like they didn't bother cleaning up from my last visit." He said kicking aside a piece of rubble. He walked down the dingy street occasionally lighted by a flickering light post or two. Eventually he came across the corpse of an exceptionally large daemon with a single red eye in the center. The eye in question had been blown out by something inside was lodged a, of all things, daemons bone.

"Freeze pendeho." A voice from behind said as the barrel of a gun was pointed at the back of his head.

"Yeah freeze." A second voice chimed in with a slightly higher pitch and a British accent.

Spinning on his heel Dante kicked the stallion behind him in a purple jacket in the stomach and pulled his pistols out pointing them at his head only to find his gun in a similar position. The stallion behind him was a tall Hispanic stallion, his face covered in scars from battles long ago. He wielded a gun resembling a bunch of bones with a tiny skull on the end its mouth open from witch the barrel protruded. The gun then flashed a bright gold and converted itself into a floating skull. "Dante!?! What are you doing here, remember me, Johnson?"

Dante smiled and sheathed his guns. "Hea Johnson, been a while. How have you been?" he said offering his hoof out.

The skull bumped into it smiling (as well as a skull can) "Been good, I see you're still in the business. Oh! How rude let me introduce my boss, Garcia Hotspur." Garcia looked less than pleased at the skull.

"You mind telling me why your getting all friendly with this maricon?" He said to the skull. To witch the skull drew back.

"You mean you don't know who this is?" The stallion glared back at him. "Ok, ok, this is the legendary daemon hunter Dante. He's killed more daemons than Michael Moor has teenagers. He and I used to get Strawberry sundaes together back when I was flesh and blood. He's the reason I quit the daemon business." Garcia looked at Dante then back at Johnson.

"And you didn't tell me this before I almost blew his brains out why?" He asked a little miffed.

"Sorry, it's been a while and I only saw him from behind. Anyway it's all cool now, right Dante?"

Dante smiled, "As the ninth circle of hell." he said.

Garcia smiled. "Good to meet you mister Dante." he said shaking his hoof. For a moment they met eyes, you could almost feel the intensity between them. They eventually broke off the stair apparently satisfied with what they saw.

Dante leaned back. "So what brings you down here."

Garcia lost his smile very quickly. "Some pendeho took my Angel. I plan on taking her back and leaving him in pieces."

Dante frowned, "Best of luck to you then, I have a mission as well so I doubt either of us has time to stand around idly. Catch you for a sundae after this Johnson?"

"You bet."

"See you then." and with that the two set off in opposite directions each on their own mission of vengeance.

Dante stood in the middle of the town square, he looked around before suddenly the place was filled with daemons of all caliber and at the center was Discord. "Hello there mister Dante, I'm afraid I cannot let you progress to the castle. Time to die." And with that he left in a flash of light. Dante smiled and ran forward, his eyes turned red and a red aura swam about him with a demonic intensity. Drawing Rebellion he jumped into the air and slashed down several incoming daemons and took another several out using Ebony. Landing spinning he cleaved several more before throwing his sword spinning and drawing his other two pistols. He ran behind his sword as it plowed through daemons spinning and cutting them in two, with his pistols he blasted daemons on either side of him taking out several dozen. Then sheathing his pistols grabbed his sword and arched it up in time to block and counter a large scythe from a Reaper daemon. Shattering the blade of the scythe he destroyed the daemon in a flurry of strikes before spinning around to kill several more daemons. His blade moved like water between rocks as the destroyed hundreds upon hundreds of lesser daemons. Finally he stood over a mountain of dead beasts victorious.

He trotted away without looking back saying, "Now, the real party starts."

Wood shattered as a Daemon corpse was flung through the giant wooden doors, Before Dante stood Discord, and a shackled Twilight Sparkle in a large castle hall around witch glass stained windows depicting horrifying images. "Well, well, well. Looks like I didn't miss the party after all." and with that he drew his pistol and turned sideways.

"NO!" A feminine voice screamed. Locating the source it happened to be the purple mare in chains beside Discord. "It's not him it's..." She didn't get to finish her sentence as a booming voice echoed throughout the chamber.

"Dante! So glad you could join us." And with that a giant six armed daemon stood before Dante sitting upon a throne. For the first time he noticed an ethereal chain linking him to Discord who upon closer examination had a collar around his neck.

Dante smiled and shrugged. "All this for me Mundis? I'm touched really I am but really you could have just called, I would have happily come and kicked your ass if you wanted."

Mundis laughed, "Such arrogance, you truly are the son of Sparda."

Dante laughed, "I guess I am. Tell ya what, you let them go and I don't kill you."

At this Mundis laughed, "Pathetic half breed, as if I would bow to you." Suddenly spikes rose though the floor crucifying Dante. Blood rushed down the spikes and pooled at the bottom. Twilight screamed and Discord looked scared, "No." he said looking upon the fallen champion. "The last son of the great Sparda lies dead, slave gather his blood for the ritual." Discord stood their stunned. "What? Did you think the half-ling would set you free from me and you could return to you precious Celestia. Hah as if such a pathetic.."

Laughing filled the chamber as Dante broke the spikes that impaled him. Opening his eyes Dante looked at Mundis, "Is that the best you've got?" And with that he charged the daemon rebellion in hoof eyes burning like vengeance in red.

Dante fell back on his couch and sighed, he was happy. He has a pizza on the way, his debts were paid. And soon enough A royal guard would be coming with his, a knock on the door shifted his thoughts. Trotting over to the door he opened it to find himself face to face with a blushing Twilight Sparkle, "Um, mister Dante? I just wanted to t-thank you for saving me." Dante smiled.

"No problem beautiful, all in a days work." At this the blush deepened and she looked down shyly.

"Um, Celestia told me to tell you that 600 thousand bits have been transferred to your account and that she was very thankful for you recovery not only of her student but her love as well."

Dante frowned, "That's more than we agreed upon."

"She said consider it a bonus for, style."

Strawberry sundae

In the darkness of night a single moth floated down upon a solitary lamp post, a strange pony walked by his leather boots hitting the pavement as he walked. He descended a flight of stairs to a dingy bar, dust floated in the air as the stallion took a seat his red duster sweeping behind him. In the corner a few others smoked and played a hand of poker, but other than that the place was empty. A ragged looking barkeep looked over his shoulder at the stranger as he cleaned a mug.

"What'll it be?" He asked his focus remaining on the glass.

The stranger smiled and ran a hoof through his snow white mane, "I'll have a strawberry sundae." he said propping a hoof up on the counter. At this the barkeep turned around mildly amused.

"This aint no place for filly's" He said with a smirk.

"Just trying to sweeten up the place, smells like shit." At this the barkeep lost his amused expression and instead wore a frown. "Or more accurately, blood." The stranger said his tone never wavering his smile never faltering, he continued "I heard there was a bar around here, more of a dive actually where they'd take a guys life in place of money." he laughed. "Royal straight flush, you could kill a guy with that hand."

At this a stallion at the poker table tossed his cards down on the table mildly frustrated, a royal strait flush. He smiled and turned to the stranger. "How about, I buy you a round.." that was all he got out as the stranger produced a large black hoofgun and fired point blank into the stallions head without hesitation or remorse. He man fell back a hole in his head, but before he reached the ground his face split in two a hideous monster leaping from within launching itself at the stool where the stranger had been taking a good portion of the bar out with a single bite. The stranger however had leaped from the seat beforehand and had produced a second gun and now dual wielded them as the rest of the patrons turned into similar daemons and launched themselves at him.

The guns went off in a clatter as a hailstorm of bullets literally tore the monsters apart, suddenly from the side the original daemon latched himself to the stranger biting one arm and holding the other in place. "You've got a nice bite, mister royal strait flush." with his outreached hoof he let go of the second gun and flexed his hoof to the sky. Suddenly an enormous sword fell through the ceiling and into his hoof. The massive thing looked to be alive itself the hilt looking like a ribcage and the handle like bone, all made of metal. In a flash of steal it was all over, as the stranger slung the sword over his back and sheathed his guns, the head of the massive beast fell to the floor. He walked to the door, as a moth landed on it he reached for his blade and slammed it to the hilt into the door. The glass cracked and the barkeep fell through a shocked expression on his lifeless face. As he walked up the stairs he said without looking back, "Next time you open up, you may want to add strawberry sundae's to the menu." As he reached the top the body of the barkeep convulsed and a final daemon launched itself at him. He whipped around gun in hoof. "Bingo."

A small bell chimed as an older stallion pushed open a faded red door, he was wearing a grey suit with a matching fedora, despite his age he had a youthful smile across his face with just a hint of mischief showing. He walked across the wood floor of the warehouse, it was barren of furniture save for an old couch and a pool table in one corner and a jute box in the other. A stallion sat leaning back in his chair his head down sleeping, his white hair covered the majority of his face his back legs propped up on a desk where several old pizza cartons lay.

"Dante wake your lazy ass up." The man said throwing a magazine at the sleeping stallion, however Dante caught the magazine and flipped open a page or two and began looking at mares .

"What do you want? If you came to talk about my debt you should know that I don't have any money, so either tell me why your here or get out." Dante said.

"What an old friend cant stop by now and again?" The stallion said shrugging looking innocent. Dante looked at him with his sea blue eyes. "Ok, ok fine you got me. I'm here with a job." He said turning around and flopping on the couch.

"Thanks but no thanks." Dante said turning the page. "Not interested."

"Well you will be after you hear who it is." The man said mischeviosly leaning back folding his hooves together.

Dante looked up and said "Ok I'll bite, who is it?"

"Celestia."

Dante kept eye contact with the man, "Go on."

"Aparently her star pupil has been taken hostage by none other than Discord himself, now she'd get her herself but he took her back with him to the demon world. So that's where you come in, you go in, get her back and deals a deal."

Dante contemplated it, "So what's in it for me?"

The man laughed, "Get this, she said shed pay whatever price you asked."

Dante laughed, "So you realy will do that will you?" He looked to the corner of the room. "Come on out I know your there."

"Who the hell are you.." The stallion began but was interupted as the light in the corner of the room shimmered and revealed Celestia herself standing.

"So you are as good as they say, son of Sparda." She said smiling. Dante glared at her, she continued to smile however. "I knew your father personaly, he helped us in the war against Discord and his minions. It would seem you inherited his good looks."

"Cut the chat lady, I don't give a crap about how well you knew my dad." He said. "All I care about is bits, now you have an especially difficult job on your hooves. It's gonna cost ya."

"I am prepared to pay." She said gaining a more serious composure.

"Lets start with my debt, I want them all payed in full."

"Done."

"I also want 500,000 bits, half up front." He said leaning forward in his chair.

"Done." She said producing a bag of bits that she put on the table. Dante eyed the bits than looked back to her and smiled.

"Pleasure doing business with you." He said extending a gloved hoof.

Celestia shook hooves with him, "The pleasure was all mine son of Sparda."

"Please call me Dante."

"Well than Dante, I wish you luck on your quest." And with that she disappeared in a flash. Dante stood and grabbed a red duster off a coat rack to the right of his chair. He pocketed the twin pistols and slung a cloth guitar case over his shoulder.

"Looks like today is going to be fun." He said walking out the double front doors. Above them in neon letters read Devil May Cry detective agency.