The love of a fat man

by DaftVegas

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Crossover, Human
Length: 701

Lyra X Carl Brutananadilewski

Lyra meets a strange pony in a wife beater and pocketless sweatpants

but….hes not a pony

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-02 06:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Genesis

Once upon a time in Equestria there was a town called Ponyville. In Ponyville, near sugar cube corner, there lived a pony named Lyra Heartstrings. Lyra was a simple living pony. She liked cupcakes, and she frequently talked with her best friend Sweetie Drops. Lyra enjoyed a quite life in her home. It had been a normal day when the event occurred that would change her view on life and love more radically than anything ever could.

It had been a normal Saturday for Lyra. She talked about traveling and politics. Lyra sure did love politics . She had a big ham sandwich for lunch, with extra meat, mayo, two fresh tomatoes, and goat milk cheese in between two potato bread slices. She enjoyed her meal and trotted off the her cozy home for a nap by the hearth. Lyra finally got to her house and slept contently for a good 2 hours.

Lyra woke with a start. She hard heard something crash from downstairs and somepony yelling "Dammit!" It was a deep voice, but also a bit raspy, Like some of the traveling fortune tellers she saw so often. She poked her head over the bannister to see a fat....something in her kitchen. It wore a white wifebeater and sweatpants, and it was very hairy. It stood on its hind legs and grumbled curse words under its breath. Lyra lay down and held her breath, she was scared of it. She moved one of her front hooves and hit a table by accident. The thing turned from her kitchen counter and put its front legs on its hips, it looked uncomfortable to Lyra. It had a moustache and a flat face, she guessed it wasn't a mare. "Who the hell was that?! Where the hell am I?!" Lyra quietly said "Its me, up here...who are you?" "Who am I?!" It asked angrily "My name is Carl toots! Carl Brutananadilewski!" Lyra was slightly angry at Carl for getting mad at her for no reason, but she walked down the stairs anyway to confront the being in her home. "Why are you a horse! Where the fuck am I?!" Lyra had seldom heard such vulgarities come from anypony, but this was no pony for sure. "Everyone in Ponyville looks like me, a "horse", how did you get here? What are you?" Lyra asked Carl, she was curious. "What am  I? Im a human, haven't you ever seen a human or are you to busy painting your toenails, Ive never even seen a pony in my life, I just ate about 50 hot wings and went to go crash on my couch, I woke up here about an hour ago,also sorry for uh, knocking down your dishes or whatever."

Carl said, he was obviously calming down but he was trying hard to cope with the situation, Lyra observed. She didn't like him, but she felt strangely attracted to him. Not a lot. But there was a mystery kind of feeling to him that made him seem so likable. Lyra looked him up and down quizzically, she noticed he was very hairy on his upper body and his lower legs and feet, which were exposed on some opened hoof shoes, or whatever humans called them. He was balding on his head, and never looked like he was having a good time. He wore a gold chain around his neck, and always had his hooves,or something, on his hips except when talking, when he usually had them in the air talking. He also lacked some features that ponies had, he bore a flat snout, except for his nose, for example, he also didnt have hooves, on both ends of his body he had fleshy, peach colored appendages that moved individually, similar to dogs or dragons. but they weren't pointed, and they weren't round, and they all varied in length. Her thoughts were interrupted bluntly by Carls loud voice "So what..you just gonna stare at me or..?" Lyra had no way of knowing where to begin. She told Carl her name "My name is Lyra, your in Equestria, Ponyville. As far as I know, Humans are just an old folktale from backwoods ponies."