Derpy Hooves, a somewhat dangerous killer

by RewColty

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Cheerilee, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 1294

Published 2012-01-30 04:05:32 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-30 04:05:32 UTC

The killing begins...

Hello my friends, this is a short story about a little cute pony name derpy hooves. We see her coming out of her house.

"OOOOHH BOY WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE!" said the over happy derpy. She then walk around the streets of ponyville. Where she come across a purple unicorn named twilight sparkle. "Hey derpy would you be sooo kind to help me?" said the seemed desperete twilight. "Oh sure i can help with anything anyhow!" said the still happy derpy.

They arrive at twilights house. "Would you mind holding the shelf from the back? It keeps falling, so in order to fix it. i need to fix up the ledge on this part so that it wont fall." said twilight in a kind way. "Suuuure will!" Said the hypered derpy. Derpy then hold on the book shelf, while twilight fix it. Derpy then spot a dollar next to her lower hoof. "Ooooo a dollar!" She then lets go of the shelf just to collect the worthy dollar she thinks it is. Because that derpy is no longer holding the shelf, the shelf falls onto twilight. "OMG TWILIGHT!" said the frighten spike. He then grabs twilight by the hoofs and pulled her, which shows that her torso has been sliced by the shelf that fall on her. Plenty of blood came out of her. Spike then vomit on the floor. "Oops, sorry, well catch ya later" said derpy who is unaware that she accidently murdered twilight. Spike, still scared, takes a knife and slice his wrist.

Derpy then skipping around the streets of ponyville. She went into a beutiful house which turns out to be raritys house. She then comes into the house. "Oh hello there derpy! im so glad to see you here!" Said the rather surprised rarity. "OOOh i love help!" Said derpy. "Well i need you to stich this purple piece to this dress?" Asked rarity. Derpy then smiled. She then gave derpy a needle and derpy then began stiching but just before she stiches, she dropped the purple piece. While not looking, she grabbed the purple piece to the dress. After shes finished she realized that she accidently stiches raritys tail onto the dress. She then attempted to unstich it but failed. She then pulled the dress that is stiched onto raritys tails, she pulls and pulls and pulls but then as soon as she pulled waaay to hard, her entire skin slam on her face. Derpy then gave a good glanced at the, fleshy unskinned rarity as she falls down to the floor. "Opps,i guess i pulled too hard did i haha" said derpy, who do not notice that rarity is dead.

She leaves. She then runs through ponyville thorugh applejacks farm.

"Howdy derpy" Said applejack. "Hi applejack, is there anything i can help you with?" said derpy, who wanted to help.

"Weeeelllllllll, i do need help buckin some trees. Maybe you can help" Said applejack. Derpy then grinned. Applejack then kicked the treee down. "Thats how you do it!" said applejack teaching derpy how to kick a tree. Derpy then get a strange vision which makes applejack look like a tree. Derpy then kicked applejack so hard, it flung her into the air. All the way into princess celestias castle, which she crashes through the roof. She then got impaled by celestias loong horn on her head. She is then surprised that theres a dead pony on her head.

Derpy then said "yaaaaay i kicked a tree". Later, she went to sugarcube corner where she encountered pinkie pie. Pinkie, surprised by derpy, asked her to make something soo delecious it will kill anypony. Derpy then agreed. "Can you turn on the blender?" asked the nice pinkie. "sure thing" derpy said. She then turned on the blender. "Ohh shoot the lightbulb is flickering, hang on..." Pinkie, noticeing the lights flickering. She then grabbed a ladder and try to fix it. Derpy spot the muffians up on the cabinent. She forgot that she had wings, so she steals the ladder, which causes pinkie to fall into the blender and her head got caught in it, which the blades ripped it to shreads. Derpy then got the muffians. Then she said "wait, i forgot i had wings! Haha! Anyways, bye pinkie!" As she leaves, without realizing that the blender sliced the hell out of pinkies head.

Derpy then head over to fluttershys house. She knocked on the door, fluttershy opened the door. "Oh hello derpy, wonderful to see you here!" said a rather aggresive fluttershy. "Oh im just here to visit your cuuute animals" said derpy. Derpy then looked at angel. and petted her. "Derpy, would you mind getting food?" asked a kind fluttershy. "Sure i be happy too" said by a, agian, happy derpy. She went over the cabient then she notice a bottle of liquid inside. She reads the back. "If you put liquid on anything, it will make the other animals eat it like they love it." As read by derpy. "Wait, if i put this on fluttershy, her animals will love her even more." said derpy who figured a idea. Derpy sneaked up to fluttershy and spill some of the liquid on fluttershys head. She then ask derpy "why did you put this stuff on my head? Animals then came up to her. "Oh arent you all hungry critters!" said fluttershy. The animals then growl and jumped on fluttershy and ripped her apart. "Aww they love you!" said by a joyable derpy. One of fluttershys hoof fly out and bumped derpy on the head, leaving a blood stain. "Oh look at the time gotta go!" Said derpy as she leaves.

Now shes flying in the sky, as she meets rainbow dash. "Wats up derp the herp!?" said by the tomboyish rainbow dash. "Oh i was flying in the skies you know." said by derpy who is minding her own business. Rainbow said to derpy "you wanna fight in the sky?" "Your on" said by the angry derpy hooves. The two then fight. Rainbow punched derpy in the face. "Oh you little" said by derpy. She flew all the way back and flew farther and farther and farther. "Derpy where are you going?" asked rainbow. She then flew a few feet to see where derpy is going. She then saw her charging at her. Derpy then headbutted rainbow soooo hard that it crushed the fuck out of rainbows skull, killing her. Her body then falls down. We then see the cutie mark crusaders who are testing balancing. they have a piece of plank and a block and they are sitting on the end of the plank, all three of them. "Hmmm if one of us would sit on the other end would it change the balance?" asked a rather curious scootaloo. "Im not really sure." said by applebloom. "Maybe we can all sit on the other end!" said by sweetie belle who is trying to be smart. Out of nowhere, rainbows dead body fall from the sky and landed on the empty plank, which flung up the crusaders in the air. They were heading towards ponyville. applebloom then have her head impaled by a golden sword held by a pony statue. Sweetie belle landed on cheerliees head, which crushed it, which by the power of gravity, sweeties head is also crushed. Scootaloo then fall flat on the concreate, which her body explodes and blood and flesh sprayed everywhere. "Well i think i helped enough today" Said derpy. "I think i might eat at that new restrurant. She went inside of it. She somehow caused it to just fucking explode the minute she walked through the door. "Oopsieeee" Derpy then felt bad.