Us and Them

Chapter 7

A Privileged Audience

As we landed at one of the docks at Canterlot’s airport, everypony finally began cheering up again. They were too distracted by the magnificent sights to think about their situation. I decided this was best, and joined in with the gawking. We were such tourists.

Twilight, the only one of us to have really seen the capital, snapped us out of our trance. “C’mon everypony, let’s get something to eat before our meeting.”

“Please not hay, or grass, or flowers, or anything like that.” I thought to myself as we went on our way.

It turns out there are only two types of food in Equestria: plants and sweets. If it’s not green, it’s covered in some form of sugar. I didn’t complain as we walked into Donut Joe’s store. Donuts are my favorite food. Well, aside from pizza, hot dogs, spaghetti, bacon, and well... they’re still one of my favorites (I like food).

The six of us chowed down on donuts like we were starving ourselves. In fact, I just about was, because I needed flavor in my diet, and hay just wasn’t cutting it. I kept stopping by Sugarcube Corner to pick up food that actually had flavor to it. I couldn’t keep it up without losing my figure, but gaining a few pounds was worth eating something flavorful in my book.

Somehow, Tycho and Rainbow got into an argument over who could eat a donut faster. This, of course, devolved into a full on donut-eating war. Tycho won in two bites. Rainbow finished just a second afterwards. I just shook my head, wondering what to think. These two were certainly made for each other, whether they realized it or not.

After our Brunch, we made our way to the castle. I was a little scared when I saw the Royal Guards standing outside the castle, but Twilight walked up to them, told them who she was, and they let us pass. Man, I really wish I was Celestia’s star pupil. Maybe Luna had an opening.

We walked into the lobby, and started our tourist-esque staring once again. Ahead of us was the Grand Staircase where Celestia and Twilight spent the last Grand Galloping Gala. Atop those stairs on the right I knew was the Ballroom, but I figured the other side would be the Throne Room. A Guard escorted us up the staircase, and took us to the left. I was right. I always am with this kind of thing (Okay, so it was a lucky guess).

It was actually a fair walk to reach the Throne Room. We stayed quiet for the walk. Well, Lyrica was back to her wall-bouncing old self, but she was still quiet.

Finally, we reached a huge pair of doors being guarded by two unicorn guards. “Hey Keymaster, Hey Gatekeeper. I got a couple ponies who have an audience with the princesses. Care to open the door for us?” Our escort half-shouted. That’s when I noticed that the guards were actually asleep at their posts. I guess with the security in place, they didn’t have much to worry about.

The unicorns, now awake enough to see they needed to open the doors, stuck their horns in the key hole in each door, casting a spell to unlock the doors. They then pushed them open, and our escort allowed us to go into the room ourselves. Apparently he figured we wouldn’t cause any trouble that Celestia couldn’t handle. We walked in, and the doors closed behind us.

“My Little Ponies, what seems to be the problem?” A voice came from nowhere. It was Princess Celestia’s voice, but I couldn’t see her anywhere in the room.

“Princess Celestia, my name is Historia, and I come seeking an answer to a question I believe only you can answer.”

“Oh do you? But why do you call yourself Historia, John?” Okay, Trollestia. Quit knowing everything. Like my human name.

“Because I’m not John any more. If I were John, I’d be on two legs right now. As you can clearly see, I’m very much a pony. Now that you answered my question before I asked it, could you explain why you’re doing this? Or at least where you are?”

“Oh, I’m right behind you.” She said with a chuckle as I turned to see her standing behind us. Okay, I’m liking this “benevolent princess” less and less each second.

“Alright. So you know I’m human. What about my friends here? Not Rainbow or Twilight, of course.”

“Oh, them? Yes, they’re human too.”

I sighed. I was right. For better or for worse, I was right. “Alright, so why are we here then?”

“That’s a little harder to explain. I’ll get into it after Derek finishes his rant.”

“Hang on one second!” Tycho, Derek- I made the connection long ago. Doesn’t look like he had yet though. “You think I’m just gonna believe you? Who do you think you are?”

“Uh, Tycho, she’s the princess of Equestria, and the one who sent us here from Earth.” I tried to reply. He just kept going. I decided to start timing how long it would take for him to say something stupid.

“I mean, I spent these last few days meeting all these ponies, and you just tell me I’m not a pony? I don’t care what you say! I met the most awesome pegasus ever, and you’re telling me I’m just gonna have to leave her behind when I leave? Heck no! I don’t care about whatever you say!” Wow. Five seconds. I expected him to last at least eight seconds. Rainbow was blushing, I don’t know if it was from being called “the most awesome pegasus ever” or being called that in a rant to Celestia.

Twilight butted in with her zip-a-da-lip spell (okay, that’s just what I call it) to get Tycho to shut his mouth. “Thanks Twilight. Now then, you were going to tell us what we’re here for.” I said.

Celestia giggled a little. Normally I don’t mind getting a laugh out of Tycho making himself looking stupid, but I was in no mood for that today. “Well, there’s a dangerous pony who’s returning from... somewhere else, and we need your help to defeat him.” She replied, her voice suddenly taking a cold, serious tone.

“Who?”

“His name is Epoch.”

“Epoch? I don’t remember anypony named Epoch in all the books I’ve read.” Twilight mused.

“That’s because I made sure that Epoch wouldn’t be remembered in any history books. His story is a dark one. A pony who turned to hatred, malice, and violence.”

“Just like Nightmare Moon.”

“Worse than that, I assure you.” Came a new voice from the other side of the room

I heard the voice, and teleported myself to where it originated from. No, I don’t know how, but I did. I had to see for myself. In front of me was just the pony I had hoped to see. Luna, in all her magnificent, royal, not-Trollestia glory. I instantly hugged her around her neck. Unsurprisingly, she picked me up with her magic, and floated me in front of her as she trotted over to join her sister.

“Why did you just do that?” Luna asked. I’d be confused if I just got ninja-hugged too, I guess.

“Sorry Luna. I’m a huge fan, and I couldn’t help myself when I heard your voice.” Satisfied to hear I liked her and wasn’t trying to strangle her, Luna gently set me down. “So are you going to tell us the story of Epoch then?” I asked Celestia.

“No. You are.” She said with her horn glowing green. I noticed a green glow around my body and the I began to feel... strange. It’s hard to explain. I felt like I was... learning. I suddenly felt memories I had never had flowing into me. The entire history of Equestria was entering my head, flashing before my eyes.

“Ow. Tell me before you do that next time.” Let me tell you. Learning the history of an entire civilization in the span of ten seconds gives you four of the worst migraines ever. “Right, Epoch. Let’s see. It might take a second, I happen to have a couple thousand years of history in my head now. There we are. Woah. I see what you mean, this guy was bad. Well, let’s get storytime started then.”