House that Heartbreak Rebuilt

by Jet_Black1980

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Tragedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity
Length: 190956

This month Heartbreak and Rarity go head to head while trying to get her a house. A surprise visitor or two or three will show up along the way.

It has been settled. This month, Twilight and CO agree that for Heartbreak to live in Equestria, she needs an actual place to live in. A real home. With money tight, and Heartbreak not having much of anything of her own, how are they going to get her this dream home?
The answer will drag both Heartbreak and Rarity kicking and nearly screaming through a series of seemingly unfortunate events involving travel, discovery, and later on: The Cutie Mark Crusaders!
But there are dark secrets still being harbored within both Heartbreak and her new home. Will Rarity, a pony who prides herself on her looks, charms and grace be able to teach a pony who doesn't care about any of those things anything about generosity? Hopefully. And hopefully before one of them strangles the other.

Published 2013-03-03 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-10 02:00:49 UTC

Keep Away From Colts and Fillies

Chapter Two

Keep Away From Colts and Fillies

I can feel the left side of my face starting to go numb from twitching. There was a worry that seeped into my veins when this all started. It’s changed into a horrible blight of rage as I stare up at Twilight. How could she do this to me?!

Alright, that might be describing it a tad melodramatically. It might not be as bad as I am describing it, but still, what was she thinking?! I attempt to take a deep breath and calm myself down. After all, what was the lesson we learned last month brain? “Hur, keep calm and flutter on?”

I am going to stop asking you questions if you keep doing this to me brain. One of these days, I swear, one of these days, Bam! Zoom! And then straight to the moon!

Son of a bitch! Stop bitching about these things to yourself, and get to bitching about them to the one who decided that this was a good idea in the first place.

“Can’t you give us a few minutes-” Twilight begins.

“No! You and me need to have a talk about this now!” I rub a hoof against my face and then realize that Twilight isn’t the only one in the room. The whole gang is here. “Maybe alone and off to the side?” I growl.

Twilight rolls her eyes and looks apologetically at her friends. “Excuse me girls, I’m sure this will only take a minute.” I push my butt off the ground and walk over to the other side of the room with Twilight in tow. “Alright, what’s wrong now, H.B.? Because we are kind of in the middle of-”

“Seriously, Twilight?!” I point at the kitchen door.

Twilight gives me a baffled look. “Seriously, what?”

Alright, Twilight might be a magical talking unicorn, but she isn’t a mind reader. “Twilight, what in the name of...” I fumble around for a good Equestrian equivalent that doesn’t sound like a cliche. Nothing’s coming to me. “What made you think that putting me in charge of...whatever is going on over there would be a good idea?!” I whisper harshly.

“It’s called, ‘The Summer Reading Program,’” Twilight explains. “I thought that you would have been perfect for this job due to the fact that you seem to like to tell stories and you were the one who suggested this idea.”

I rub my temples. “Because I like to tell stories and because I came up with the idea, Twilight? That’s a horrible reason for putting me in charge of that. Not only that, but you didn’t say anything to me nor give me any forewarning about it happening! I would have thought that you would have at least done those two things before suddenly springing something like this on me!”

“I did give you some forewarning, I left a note on the whiteboard in the kitchen yesterday,” Twilight replies.

My eye twitches again. “You mean the one that is nothing but post-it notes? Written in micro-print? Again! Seriously Twilight?! I would need a magnifying glass to read them. And it’s not like I can just grasp it with my hoof!” I must have said that a little too loudly because the others have stopped their conversation to look at the both of us. I laugh nervously.

Twilight sighs. “Look H.B., I thought your idea was a great idea. Offer up a summer reading program for colts and fillies, that way the library gets more use and in turn more funding. Though I’m not sure the funding part is needed. I just liked the part where more youngsters are encouraged to read.”

That twitch has returned to my face again. “Ugh! Twilight, do you not see the problem in this situation?!”

“Actually, I don’t. Not only are you getting a chance to earn a little extra money, but you are also doing something that you seem to be really good at: Telling stories. On top of that?” Twilight calmly smiles at me. “It’s a chance for you to get out and socialize.”

I am not pleased with her calm air. “Socialize, yeah! With colts and fillies! Do you realize how bad of an idea that is!?”

“I’m not following,” Twilight replies confused.

I rub my temples. “Twilight, I am an emotional train wreck, who is currently unstable and has been affected by strange magics! In the past month we have discovered that animals avoid me! There’s no telling what repercussions will result in-”

Rarity clears her throat looking at the both of us. “Not to be terribly rude, but from what I have gathered...” She takes a sip of her apple juice. “Your teacher, Twilight has given you an assignment, and it is your job to complete said assignment. So, my advice would be to...” She pauses and puts a hoof on her chin. “How did you put it, Rainbow Dash?”

“Whoa, hey, leave me out of this-” Rainbow starts.

“Oh yes, I remember now.” She shot me a smug expression. “Suck it up, buttercup?”

On gut instinct I find myself nearly lunging at the group to give marshmallow fluff a piece of my mind. However, I am currently finding my backside stuck in position. Looking back, there’s Twilight horn aglow. I attempt to fight the magic that’s being used on me but there’s no budging. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Fucking unicorns and their fucking magic!

“H.B. Calm down.” Twilight said in a calm yet stern manner. I roll my eyes and relax enough to convince her that I am not about to jump her friend. “Good.” She glares at Rarity. “And Rarity, no antagonizing our student while I am the one talking to her.” Rarity frowns and turns her head hmphing. I roll my eyes. That is so typical of her. “Right, you were saying?”

I feel the need to sniff and reply with a, ‘Never mind,’ after getting slapped with what some would call a hard truth. But I hate that whole, ‘suck it up,’ sound bite. I had to deal with that shit when I was in the military. The constant pushing, being told to, ‘suck it up,’ and berating. Phrases like that hit me like little trigger words. They remind me of a time and place I would just like to forget. Darn it! No, calm down. Calm the fuck down and explain your concerns.

“I was saying that exposing me to your young is a bad idea and that nop-p-pony has a clue what could happen.” I glower at the floor. “Plus there is one or two of those colts and fillies out there that are orphans!” My face twitches. “Orphans, Twilight!”

She blinks. “Yeah, so?”

“Yeah, so?!” I shake my hooves. “Do you also put vicious dogs in f-f-foals playpens?!” I feel her put a hoof on my shoulder, I try to shrug it off.

“H.B., you’re not a vicious dog,” she’s giving me that fucking sympathetic look again, while pulling up close. “Like I was saying before we were rudely interrupted, this is a chance for you to socialize,” I wave my hoof at her about this. I have said what I already need to say about how I feel about this, ‘socializing.’ I am not going to repeat myself. “And to make sure that the other ponies in Ponyville know that you’re safe.”

Alright, that statement right there is something new. I push Twilight’s hoof off me. “Know that I’m safe? I know I am majorly concerned about bad things happening when you put me in the same room as big eyed, overly cute, colts and fillies Twilight. But I’ve barely left the library or the farm. What are the rest of them concerned about?”

“Well...” Twilight’s biting her lower lip and looking away from me. That isn’t a good sign. “I didn’t want to say this, but rumors have been starting about you...”

Fuck. Rumors. Fuck! I hate fucking rumors! “Peachy...Just. Peachy. This s-s-streusel again. Seems that you ponies just can’t keep from talking!”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Well...to be fair, H.B. That’s what ponies do. You haven’t given them a lot to go on and just like with the six of us when we first met you, they have been left to speculate. Ponyville is a small town, and small town ponies talk more than big city ponies.” Ugh, Twilight is talking sense. But what I am feeling about what’s going on out there doesn’t make any sense. “You can’t be an island to yourself you know.”

I have the sudden urge to stare her right in the face and shout, ‘Watch Me!’ at the top of my lungs. To go find a place in which I could hide away from all the sparkles, the cute, and the fucking sugar fluff that saturates my eyeballs. But I know how that will all end. I can feel myself shaking over this. I really shouldn’t be. It’s not that big of a deal, right? Then why do I feel the need to make it one?

Twilight sighs. “We’ve been together for about two months H.B., and while you’ve made some progress. Right now it kind of feels like you’re slipping.” A new fear manifests in the back of my head. The fear of disapproval and failure. “Plus I get the feeling that you’re not telling me the real issue here. Come on, be honest with me about what the real issue is.”

I frown, she sounds like a fucking psychiatrist. “Don’t patronize me Twilight. It’s just that that’s a lot of colts and fillies out there.”

“And? Last month you seemed to do just fine with Dib,” Twilight says calmly.

“That was different, Twilight. With him it was a one on one thing. Not a whole crowd of talkative, inquisitive and touchy colts and fillies.” I search around my feelings. “I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing or something happening to them because of me. And there is the fact that I still feel like you jumped me on this. Seriously, a gaggle of them just walk into the library chattering away, pick up books, come to me and with big fetting eyes ask me to read to them!”

“And what did you do?” Twilight asks. Oh, Fuck you Twilight. I know exactly where this is going.

“What could I do?! They surrounded me and I couldn’t get away!” I facehoof. “I had them open a book and I read it to them.”

“And then what happened?” Twilight asks me.

I roll my eyes. “Then after I finished one fetting story I read another.” I grumble.

“Oh my goodness, H.B.! That’s just horrible!” Twilight says in a sarcastic manner. I glare at her. And she gives me a nervous laugh. “Sorry, but with the way that you were reacting when you came barreling in here, I thought that either they had mauled you or that you had drop-kicked one of them.” I give her the, ‘Are you for real?’ face. Her eyes dart back and forth. “I don’t know much about your world, H.B., for all I know, your species drop-kicks its young...”

I facehoof. “If that was an attempt at a joke, Twilight...” I just shake my head frowning. “Don’t quit your day job...”

“So, what was it that sent you barreling in here?” Twilight asks.

I think about those moments just before Applejack made a convenient arrival with the juice. Thinking about it is sending me a bunch of mixed feelings that in the end come out as a seething boiling mess. “You know those fetting orphans I told you about? There was this cream coloured one with a little yellow bow and gold eyes? Darn it, what was her name...”

“Cream Puff?” Twilight asks me. Wow. That was a seriously derpy moment for me. Why the fuck didn’t I remember that?

“Yes, her. You know how I knew that she was an orphan, Twilight?”

“I just assumed that it was the same way that you know everything about us, H.B.” Twilight replies.

My brow furrows deeply and I glare at her. “No. And for the record, I don’t know everything about you ponies. Just enough. The reason why I know that she was an orphan was in the way that, after I finished the second little story, she looked up at me and said, ‘I like you,’ and then proceeded to ask, ‘Will you be my new mommy?’”

Twilight is looking at me a shocked, confused and sad expression. “W-w-what did you tell her?”

I glare at Twilight and that twitch returns to my left eye. “What could I tell her?!” I switch to my sarcastic ‘derp voice.’ “Sure thing, little filly! I am just on loan from the local Ponyville Mental Ward! I would make the perfect...mommy!” I feel like choking on that last word. Like fuck am I ever going to be a, ‘mommy.’ I am half tempted to get myself neutered if they have the option available. “It was just good timing that’s the moment that Applejack came into the room and they all swarmed her for drinks. I slipped as quickly out of the room and well, you know the rest of the story.”

“Geez. Well, that’s-” Twilight rubs the back of her head.

“Special?” I interject.

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.” She looks up at me. “So do you feel better getting all that out?”

I shake my head. “No...because the moment that I came in here, a new something came to bother me!”

Twilight blinks. “What could possib-”

My hoof juts up in the middle of her sentence. Right, be honest with her. Look her directly in the eye and just say what you need to say. “You’re all having a meeting about me without me!”

Twilight sighs. “Well, it is a meeting about you, H.B.”

“Yes, exactly! And it bothers me that you’re having one-” I begin.

“Well, it feels wrong having a meeting about you with you here,” Twilight interrupts.

I glare at her and cough. “I wasn’t finished, Twilight.”

“Oh, uhm...sorry, please continue,” Twilight replies.

“It bothers me that you are having one without me knowing about it. You six are going to be here...talking...about stuff! Stuff involving me, and ultimately affecting me! And you didn’t tell me that you were having this meeting!” Oh yeah. That was articulate, H.B. What are you going to do for an encore? Tell her that they are also in a place, and that next they’ll be talking about things too?!

Twilight sighs. “Alright, those are fair concerns. We are going to be talking about things that will ultimately affect you. But if it will put your mind at ease, how about after the meeting is over, and the colts and fillies go back to their homes, I tell you exactly what we talked about, and how it will affect you.”

I grind my hoof on the floor. “I guess I can live with that...”

“In exchange, I want you to go back out there and keep those colts and fillies entertained for at least twenty more minutes.” Twilight says. Fuck. I knew there had to be strings attached to that.

Heartbreak Vs Rarity

Chapter Three

Heartbreak Vs Rarity

Twilight looked at Heartbreak, hoping that she would agree. After all, the meeting had barely started and she hadn’t even talked about how each of them could put away a small bit of money in a private savings account for her!

“With her attitude, it makes me wonder if we even should. Not like she deserves it.” Twilight hesitated. “Stop thinking like that! Yes, sometimes it is hard to empathize with her, especially when she gets moody. But, she has been through something down right horrible. Plus, she is showing signs that she can get better.”

Heartbreak sighed. “I can do that...” She frowned while looking at the ground. “I guess.” Twilight smiled. An ‘I guess,’ was better than nothing.

“Thank you, H.B.,” Twilight replied.

Just then, the door to the library opened. Applejack poked her head through. “Uhm, beggin’ yer pardon, H.B., the young’ins are wonderin’ when ya'll are gonna be back ta tell more stories.”

Twilight looked at Heartbreak. “See? They like you. And they want you to tell more stories.”

Heartbreak only frowned and waved a hoof at her. “That’s not what I am worried about, Twilight,” She replied quietly.

“Then what are you worried about?” Twilight asked.

She ground her hoof down on the ground. “I don’t know. I keep having this nagging feeling in the back of my head. Like something bad is going to happen.”

Twilight’s expression softened. “H.B., you’re reading stories to a group of colts and fillies, what’s the worst that could happen?” Heartbreak’s eye twitched and she shot a slightly fearful look at Twilight.

“You did not just seriously say that, Twilight Sparkle,” She replied, groaning and face hoofing.

“Huh?” Twilight asked.

Heartbreak’s hoof stomped on the ground. “Right, I am not going to panic and I am going to to explain this as-” she rolled her hoof around searching for a word. “-softly as I can.” She cleared her throat. “There are certain words, phrases, and even thoughts that you just simply do not say. And you, Twilight Sparkle, just said one of them.”

“I’m not sure what you’re going on about, H.B.,” Twilight began.

“Just sounds like somepony is procrastinating so she doesn’t have to face a few foals,” Rarity muttered under her breath.

As Heartbreak glared and nearly growled at Rarity, Twilight put a hoof up in front of her line of sight and smiled nervously. “Ignore her, H.B.,” she said in an almost musical tone. “She’s just being Rarity. Now what are you going on about?”

“A dictionary. Get me a fetting dictionary,” Heartbreak said. Rarity humphed before quietly finishing off her apple juice.

Twilight quickly nabbed a dictionary from the shelf. “Alright, now what?”

Heartbreak glowered at Rarity. Twilight could tell that some sarcastic, rather unpleasant thoughts were bubbling through the mare’s mind regarding the heavy book and a certain white unicorn.

“I’m going to put it back if-” Twilight began.

“Huh? What? No! Ugh, right, look up the term, ‘Tempting Fate’,” Heartbreak replied.

Twilight quickly flipped through the book. “Tempting fate... tempting fate. Ah, here it is. ‘Tempting fate is when a character says something that dares the universe into making things miserable for them, and the universe takes them up on the challenge. Oftentimes, the character is commenting on how they've hit rock bottom and how things couldn't possibly get any worse — right before things do turn from bad to worse. Conversely, they may talk about how things are absolutely perfect, only for their world to come crashing down five seconds later.’” Twilight looked over at Heartbreak and rolled her eyes. “H.B. this is about a trope. Something that only happens in poorly written novels, books and movies. Not something that happens in real life.”

Heartbreak looked like she wanted to pull out her mane. “Twilight!? Are you seriously trying to jinx everything!?”

Rarity slammed her hooves down on the table and glared up Heartbreak. “Twilight, I’m sorry but I have dresses to make and this is getting altogether ridiculous.” Her gaze turned to the tan mare. “Heartbreak. Your teacher has given you an assignment and as far assignments go, it has to be, by far, the easiest thing you will have to face! There are foals who are in the other room waiting for you to read to them! Not only that, but the six of us have taken time out of our lives and schedules so that we can have a meeting regarding you, so that we can ultimately help you!” She slammed her hooves down on the table. “So, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we would like you to go back out there and just read to them already!”

The group looked at Heartbreak. Excluding Pinkie Pie, the others did have a look of, ‘can we get on with it already?’ about them. Heartbreak glared and frowned at Rarity before slamming her hoof on the ground.

Fluttershy held up a hoof and leaned forward meekly. “If that’s alright with you that is...”

“Fine!” She turned and looked at Twilight before sulking out the door. “But I want to go down on record for saying that I don’t think this is a good idea and, ‘I told you so!’” The door closed hard behind her. As Applejack reentered the room, Twilight sighed and glared at Rarity.

“Whaaaat?” She cooed innocently. “I was only saying what we were all thinking.”

“Hey!” Pinkie shouted. “I was so not in your group hive mind think!”

“Well, what most of us were thinking,” Rarity rebutted, rolling her eyes.

Twilight frowned. “Rarity, next time I am handling a situation, let me handle it.”

“She was just procrastinating and trying to get out of what you had her doing!” Rarity countered. “You’ve dealt with her for two months, you should know that by now!”

“Yes, I have dealt with her for two months, Rarity. Without much help I might add,” Twilight said, continuing her frown. “And I have been learning a few things about her. And sometimes she needs a little calming down when facing a new situation.” She rolled her eyes. Part of her felt to blame for this little miscommunication. “No, we can’t have any sulking in front of the others. It shows poor leadership.” “However, we can talk about this later. Right now, I would like to get back to the core of this meeting: Getting H.B. a home, some of the necessities of living in Equestria, and what we can do to help her get those things.”

==============================================================

It’s official. Rarity and I do not get along. My eye darts at her as I leave the room. I was so tempted just to grab that dictionary from Twilight and smack the marshmallow upside the head for that whole, ‘suck it up, buttercup,’ remark. Not to mention everything else that she was going on about. Seriously? When did Rarity become such a bitch!? On the show she was more of a lady than this snide version. A bit of a work-o-holic about dresses, obsessive when it came down to getting what she wanted, and nice to her friends.

Then again, Rarity was a rather complex character when it came down to it. The song, ‘I’m a bitch, I’m a lover’ kinda reminds me of how I feel about said character. She’s a little bit of everything. Great to those whom she has made friends to.

And a horrible enemy to those whom have crossed her or her friends.

I sigh in the few seconds I have before I exit the kitchen. “Not like you have made any attempts to try and get along with her. You’re more the bitch here than she is.” Damn it. Shut up, Goth Bunny. I don’t need your bullshit right now when I am about to face a group of-

“H.B.’S BACK!” Comes the cheering throng of colts and fillies. Alright, there’s only six of them. But six is five too many in my book. I have no fucking clue how old they all are, due to the fact that I know jack squat about judging the ages of little ponies. However, the orange one looks a little older than the rest. Of course that might be due to a glandular problem. Fuck if I know, fuck if I care due to the fact that the hoard of them come nearly swarming at my hooves...

“Can you read this book here, Miss H.B.?” a small blue colt asks holding up copy of, ‘The Colt That Cried Timberwolf.’

“Please don’t-” I begin.

“No! I want her to read this one!” A green filly shouts, holding up a copy of, ‘Breadcrumbs and GingerSnaps.’ I narrow my eyes at it then snirk at the picture on the cover. A pony version of, ‘Hansel and Gretel?’ I kind of wonder if they cook the witch alive in the end of the story.

Then Cream Puff comes up to me as I start to back away from the demands of these three. “Can ya read this one?” She asks holding up a book titled, ‘Heartshine Sparkle Goes to the Zoo.’ Good fucking gaia.

“H-h-how about we let H.B. get to her reading spot before asking her about what she will read, huh?” I ask, plastered with concern on my face as they draw closer. Quickly, I dart out of their way and up to the couch near the window. I’ve gotten better at getting up and off this thing. Not to mention the fact that I can pretty much take up the whole of the couch. No little ones getting up here!

An orange colt waggles a book at me. “Cream Puff, you always ask for that one to be read!”

“That’s ‘cause it’s a really good story, Marrs Orange!” Cream Puff retorts, sticking her tongue out and crossing her forelegs.

“Bah! ‘Danger Mare and the Crystal Sword’ is better! Yours is just about some filly who goes to the zoo with her mom and looks at a bunch of dumb animals!” ‘Marrs’ raises his voice at her. Cream Puff looks understandably upset, I can’t let this go.

“Hey now! Be nice to her, Marrs. I can read all these books,” I try to interject. “Cream Puff, bring your book here and turn the pages for me.”

Marrs doesn’t look too happy with me. “Why do you have to have us open and turn the pages? Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“I have a condition with my hooves. It makes it impossible for me to grasp things properly,” I reply curtly.

“Is that why you drilled a hole in your hoof?” One of them asks me.

“Not exactly, it was actually-” I try to explain.

“I heard that she made kissy faces with Dr. Bright White to get him to drill it!” Another says.

“That’s not-” I begin.

“My mom said that she’s actually a changeling spy!” A green filly says.

“Ugh! Stop talking! Please!” I raise my voice angrily. The six of them look at me with whimpering faces. Fuck. I rub my hoof against my temple. “Look, if you want me to read to all of you, first of all we’re going to have to take turns. Secondly, you’re going to have to quiet down and stop asking questions...”

“W-why did ya yell at us?” Cream Puff asks me looking exceptionally sad.

I sigh. “I...I...I didn’t mean to do that,” I fumble, tapping my hooves together. “It’s just that H.B. has a hard time dealing with large crowds and large groups of foals.”

“This isn’t a large group! And I’m not a foal! I’m a colt!” Marrs snorts.

“It’s large to me, Marrs. And maybe you should act your age.” Right just keep calm. Keep Calm. “But for me to read to all of you, you are going to have to be a lot quieter and let me read to you. Otherwise, I’m going to have a hard time concentrating.”

The group of them look at me confused. “You talk funny.” One of them says.

“And you look funny,” I think to myself. Gods, I so want to say that out loud. “Look, do you want me to read or not?” The little group nods slowly, and they sit down, books at the ready.

“Can ya please read ma story first, H.B.?” Cream Puff flutters her eyes at me. Good fucking gaia, will I ever get used to those horribly sickly sweet tones and big eyes?!

“No!” Marrs shouts. “I want her to read my story first!” Fuck, I smell an argument brewing. I need to nip this in the bud as quick as I can. If I can...

“Hey!” I put my hooves between the two of them the best I can. “I’ll read both stories. But, I told Cream Puff to come here and she said please.” I attempt to give Marrs my own version of, ‘pleading eyes.’ I really hope it works.

He frowns and gives a dissatisfied mutter. “Fine.”

Cream Puff puts her book in front of me. And to be fair, it reads exactly like what Marrs said it would. A little filly and her mom go to the zoo and look at animals. They talk about how the animals talk, laugh about the funny things they do and even end up feeding them. I’m kind of weirded out by that concept. Here are talking ponies giving birds and monkeys things to eat at what would be the, ‘petting zoo,’ part of the zoo. I eye the time. The good news is that this book, despite being a simple story, was a pretty long read. I am guessing that is due to the fact that I am not the one turning the pages. The book finishes up with the mother and daughter going home and mom tucking the little filly into bed. Nothing wrong with that. It’s kind of what I would expect from a little orphan filly. To go on a little outing with her mother to the zoo and- I frown and shake my head. Fuck, if I start thinking about that, I’ll be reminded of my own predicament.

I cough and choke out the last words to the story. “And then little Heartshine Sparkle fell asleep dreaming about the things she saw. The end.” The fillies in this group let out a collective, ‘awww,’ while the colts are groaning. Me personally? I’m somewhere in the middle. Yeah, it’s cute but good grief, I’d rather be reading something else.

Marrs rolls his eyes. “Ugh! That story makes me want to gag! Why do you always pick that one, Cream Puff?”

“Because ah like it!” She retorts in a cute southern drawl. Well it would be cute if it didn’t remind me of Amber... I face-hoof. No! Don’t think about them! This isn’t a time to think about the Nine! I jutt my hooves out between the two again.

“Right! Time for your story, Marrs!” I say trying to advert more squabbling.

“Alright! Now we’re going to hear a real story!” he says looking at me excitedly.

“Just as long as this story isn’t like, ‘The Crystal Skull,’” I mutter under my breath.

Marrs looks at me questioningly. “Huh?”

“Don’t mind me,” I reply, eyes darting back and forth. “I’m just amusing myself. Alright, Danger Mare and the Crystal Sword!”

This book is pretty much a boy’s action-adventure flick. There’s Danger Mare. She’s looking for a treasure. She comes up against bad guys. They fight. Fuck, this is boring me to tears. And from the looks of it, everyone else too. I decide to amp it up. Alright H.B., let’s see how well you can do some of these voices. Add a little more sparkle. After a little bit, the group is sitting up and paying attention. The story ends pretty much as it should. Our hero gets the treasure, the bad guy curses her name and says until next time. And Danger Mare goes off to another adventure. Alright, it was a bit more exciting than the last one, but so fucking predictable.

Looking at the time, I smile. The whole of reading these two books was half an hour! That should have been plenty of time for Twilight to finish her meeting!

Marrs takes his book back and waves it up in Cream Puffs face. “See?! Danger Mare is far better any day!”

“Ah don’t care! H.B. read ma story first!” Cream Puff counters. “So ma story is better!”

“No! Danger Mare is!” Marrs argues.

“Heartshine!” Cream Puff shouts back. Fuck...The argument is starting again.

“Danger Mare!” He counters getting in Cream Puffs’ face.

“Not this again...” I face-hoof again and groan, before attempting another separation of the two. “Hey! Hey...” I say, trying to get their attention. “Look, they are both very good stories and I read both of them. Now, I am sure that the others have stories they want read too.” I take a deep breath. “So, please... please, Please stop squabbling?”

Cream Puff looks up at me with a little bit of shame and then back down. “Ok, H.B.”

“Thank you.” I smile a bit and then look at Marrs with an expectant glance.

He only glowers and crosses his forelegs. “Pffffft, whatever. You’re not my mommy. You’re just some weird mare with no friends that all the grown-ups talk about that has a hole in her hoof.”

Ouch. Half of me says that I shouldn’t be insulted by this. After all it’s coming from a little colt. A snide, rude, little colt. However, this half of me is currently being overshadowed by the emotional truth of this statement. Back on Earth, I did have friends. Back home I was much more social than what I am being now. And right now, back home, none of my friends even remember I exist.

I can feel my lower lip quiver. Fuck! I’ve been over this in my head a thousand times over before! I don’t need to cry over it again! Come on, H.B.! Snap out of it! He’s just a-

“Little meanie! That’s what ya are, Marrs! H.B. might be a little weird, but ah like her anyway!” She looks up at me with the sweetest smile ever. Fuck. Now it feels like I am tearing up for the exact opposite reason. “Yer the best reader ah’ve had ever!”

That’s about the time I feel her glomp the only part of my body, my flank, that is accessible to me in a well meaning hug.

That’s also the time I feel... something indescribable happen. It’s not the warm tingling that comes along with any sort of hug I have usually received. No, it’s more of a burning sensation. A horrible, terrible, sickly, stinging burning sensation. Fuck... no. Please don’t let it be what I have been fearing. Please, not to-

Looking at Cream Puff hugging my flank, I see are the eyes of a filly that knows pain and suffering. Her tears are welling up and she starts screaming. “MA PARENTS ARE DEAD, AN AH’LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!”

Son of a bitch, Twilight. You had to go and say the magic words didn’t you?

It's Evil

Chapter Four

It’s Evil

After Heartbreak left, it wasn’t long before the muffled, apt, cheerful sounds of what was happening in the other room could be heard through the door. Twilight smiled. “It’ll be no time at all before she slips into her storytelling mode!” Twilight began to explain the other things that she thought that Heartbreak would need: Clothing, supplies, things to put into her house, and even possible ideas for a stable income. Most of which was covered before, but as she said before, she felt it warranted repeating. “So, are there any questions before we adjourn?”

Rainbow raised her hoof. “Yeah, where is she going to be staying until we get her a real house? ‘Cause as awesome as a roommate might be, last I heard, she doesn’t like heights, and she doesn’t want magic used on her.”

“Excellent question, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight turned a page. “I have thought over the different options regarding her accommodations.” She rolled her eyes. “For the time being? Staying with me is the best one.”

Rarity frowned. “So, nothing is going to change?”

“Sadly, no.” She pointed at each of the houses. “Like Rainbow pointed out, her house is in the clouds. H.B. has a fear of heights, won’t let me use magic on her, and more importantly: Can’t Fly. She would be stuck up there. Fluttershy’s cottage is filled with animals, and as we’ve learned from her trip to Sweet Apple Acres? Animals for some reason don’t like her.” Fluttershy cowered a little and looked down sadly squeaking. Twilight blinked. “Is there something wrong, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, well, it’s-” She turned her head and bit her lower lip. She opened her mouth but then fell quiet.

Twilight paused. “Is it something bad, Fluttershy?”

“Well... yes.” she replied.

“Does it have to do with the animals and H.B.?” Twilight asked, trying to be patient with her friend. “Because if they can give us any new information about H.B. that we don’t know, it would be very refreshing.” Twilight thought, “After all, despite learning something about honesty, H.B. is still pretty tight lipped about things.”

Fluttershy tapped her hooves together. “Well... it’s just, when we got back from Canterlot, I started to notice that many of my animal friends seemed a bit... worried about something. And they wouldn’t say what! I asked them and tried to comfort them and do all the things I normally do to get them to talk to me. But nothing seemed to work...” Fluttershy blew a bit of her mane out of her face. “Then after I saved H.B., they were giving me some rather... disapproving comments.”

“Such as?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I... I’d rather not say.” Fluttershy’s eyes started to tear a bit. “They were really harsh comments. There were a... few... animals that didn’t seem to be bothered when I mentioned her around them. But most all of them would whisper just... terrible things about her.”

“It’s them fettin’ fae’s fault,” Applejack said harshly. “Ah swear. She’s an entire universe away and they couldn’t just give her a break. Like they find some sort of amusement in the sufferin’ of others or somethin’.”

“Did you just say, ‘fetting?’” Twilight blinked and grinned questioningly at Applejack.

“Uhm, yeah,” She rubbed the back of her head. “Ah know ah don’t encourage cussin’ and swearin’ and the like, but that word has kinda grown on me a bit. Ah mean, ah don’t use it in front of the youngins, but still.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. They were getting off track. “Right. So, Fluttershy’s cottage is out of the question.”

“Ooo! Ooo! She could stay with me!” Pinkie shouted as her hoof shot up in the air.

“Pinkie, darling, do you think that would be ok with the Cakes? They do have little foals after all, and as we all know: Heartbreak can’t handle little foals,” Rarity said, her words dripping with a sarcastic overtone.

Twilight groaned. “Rarity, come on, lighten up and stop being that way.”

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but-” Rarity sighed. “Last month’s workload was just a little more than I can handle and I need to finish those five dresses so that I don’t miss the deadline.” She rolled her eyes. “Add that to the stress that comes with our guest, the things that the rumor mill has been spouting, and the lack of any time at the spa...”

“You should ignore what the rumor mill has to say about H.B., Rarity. And just trust me when it comes to matters involving her.” Twilight smiled and nodded at Rarity sympathetically. That did explain why she seemed a little more crabby than normal. “While staying with Pinkie, on the surface might seem like a viable option, but there are still issues. For one, as Rarity pointed out, there is the matter of the Cakes themselves. Whether or not they would be okay with it. After all, they would have a say in all this mess. And secondly, Sugarcube Corner is a rather active business. There are a lot of ponies coming and going, having H.B. living there might cause their business to suffer.”

Pinkie’s face drooped and ears down. “She’s not that bad of a pony!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You might not see it that way, Pinkie, but others will. She’s gotten herself a wee bit of a reputation in the Ponyville rumor mill and as any of us know, anything starting there can easily get distorted.”

Pinkie gave Twilight a sad, puppy dog face.

Twilight winced at this. “However, it wouldn’t hurt to have it as a backup plan just in case things don’t pan out.”

Pinkie clapped her hooves and squeed. “Oh, that would be so awesome! It could be like that one book with the alien that crash lands into Equestria, and then has to hide among the ponies by dressing up as one of them! Then they have to live with one of them and pretend to be normal!”

Twilight looked at Pinkie, bewildered.

“Uhm, Pinkie Pie, two things,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “One, I don’t think there is a book like that out there. And two, you just described H.B.’s current life.”

“Wha?! Well, there should be a book like that!” Pinkie said while slamming her hooves on the table.

Twilight face-hoofed. “Can we get back on track, please? This leaves us with myself and Rarity.”

“Absolutely not!” Rarity protested, her eyes widening in shock and anger. “My shop is a mess, I still need to get the orders themselves out, and then there is her overall personality!”

“And that answers that question. So, until we-” Twilight started.

“She’s brutish, shirks her responsibilities, has no sense in fashion, and have you seen her fetlocks as late? Terrible!” Rarity tossed her mane back. “And don’t get me started on how much she was whining over just watching some foals!”

Twilight banged the gavel down. “Then we won’t. Right, until something new comes up, I think that we can officially call this meeting closed.”

“Good to know! See ya Twilight!” Rainbow zipped out of the door.

Applejack sighed and put the yoke of her cart on. “Looks like ah’m going to be pullin’ this back ma self. Thanks fer the update there Twilight,” She said, walking out the door.

“Rarity, I would like you to stay for a bit,” Twilight said.

“What?” Rarity asked, looking a bit frightened. “Why?”

“I just want to talk.”

Rarity sighed. “This is about my attitude towards her, isn’t it?”

Twilight gave her friend a stern look. “Yes, yes it is. Look, we both know that the two of you got off to a hard start. What with that, ‘marshmallow,’ bit." Twilight's expression softened. "But that was months ago, the least you can do is give her a chance. Or is there something more bothering you?”

Rarity sighed. “It’s not just the whole, ‘marshmallow,’ comment, darling. Like I said, I have had a large order on my hooves in the last month. I swear it was as if all the ponies in the northwest part of Canterlot didn’t have anything to wear at the same time! Add little miss Heartbreak’s poor attitude to everything-”

“Uhm, Twilight-” Fluttershy tried interject.

“One second, Fluttershy,” Twilight said.

Pinkie put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Come on Fluttershy! Let’s go see how H.B.’s doing! Maybe she could use our help! Ooo! We can bring them these leftover cookies!”

Twilight looked at Rarity sympathetically and put a hoof on her shoulder.

Rarity took this gesture in stride, “I mean, we are doing all these things for her, and yet she goes into hysterics over the smallest thing! I may not be one to talk in that matter but, I mean, but really? Does she understand that all this is for her benefit?” She asked worriedly. “When she acts like that it just seems to me that she doesn’t! Ugh!” Rarity bit her lower lip, while Twilight gave her a sympathetic look. “I want to feel for her, I really do, but with the way she acts it just makes it-”

“Difficult?” Twilight supplied.

Rarity nodded. “I mean, with a creature like her? I hardly know where to start!”

Meanwhile, Fluttershy was watching as Pinkie placed the plate of cookies squarely on her rump. “I’ve got it now, Pinkie, thank you. Let’s go see those smiling cheerful faces.”

Back with Twilight and Rarity, Twilight explained, “The first step is in seeing her not as some strange creature, Rarity. Try seeing her as just another pony. After you do that? Things get a lot easier, trust me.”

Rarity sighed and looked at her friend, smiling. Twilight wasn’t always this rational about things, but when she was, she could really put things in better perspective. “I... I suppose you are right, Twilight. I mean, it isn’t like Heartbreak-”

“H.B.,” Twilight corrected.

“H.B.,” Rarity agreed. “It isn’t like she is some out of this world alien monster that’s come to eat the souls of our young.”

Pinkie Pie pushed the door open. “Alright Fluttersh-”

“MAH PARENTS ARE DEAD, AN AH’LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!”

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other with wide, terrified stares before racing to the door to see what was going on.

There on the library’s couch near the window was a horrified Heartbreak looking at little Cream Puff. She was hugging the mare’s flank and weeping loudly. The other colts and fillies had backed away with confused looks.

Heartbreaks’ eyes darted to Twilight pleadingly. “Get. Her. Off. Me. Now.” She mouthed.

==============================================================

I look at Twilight with a mix of emotions that I have yet to process. I really hope she understood what I was trying to tell her, cause the other five colts and fillies in the room? They’re giving me weirded-out looks.

Right, recapping the last few seconds. Finished reading to the gaggle, Orange and Puff began to have a battle, annoying Orange is annoying and mean, then Puff stood up for me and hugged my flank, practically snuggling my branding. The moment that Cream Puff touched me, I started feeling some excruciating burning sensation. Then Cream Puff burst into tears about her dead parents.

I almost would think that this is just an emotionally scarred filly having her own personal mental breakdown, if it were not for one thing.

The Mark? It burns.

Not like, ‘Oh I burned myself,’ burn. But actual burning. Like when it was applied, burning. Like I want to scream but the only thing stopping me is pure willpower and the fact that there are several young ponies in front of me. And the longer she holds on, the worse it's getting. I swear her tears falling on it is making the burning worse.

There is a blur of bright pink that zips up to the group in front of me. Pinkie Pie looks at them all with a big bright smile. “Hey everypony! I got you cookies!” she offers them a platter that is covered in cookies, and they look at her questioningly before slowly taking them.

Out of the corner of my eye comes the yellow angel with a long flowing pink mane and tail. Fluttershy reaches out and gently attempts to take Cream Puff off me. However, it seems in a bit of an ironic twist, as the little filly doesn’t want to let go.

“Come on, Cream Puff, don’t you want to join your friends for cookies and apple juice?” Fluttershy asks nervously.

Cream Puff just keeps sobbing and holding on to me uncomfortably. “Ah want mah momma! But ah’ll never see her again! And them’s not mah friends! Marrs hates me and none of the others will play with me because ah don’t have any parents!”

I look at Fluttershy with desperation. If there is anypony who can help me, I would place my bets on her. “Come on now, that’s not true. They came with you to the library, and I am sure that Marrs doesn’t hate you, right Marrs?”

The little colt stops in the middle of eating a cookie and coughs. A small blush forms on his face. “Well, uhm,” damnit, Marrs. Now is not the time for after school specials with awkward schoolyard, ‘who likes who,’ micro-drama!

Fluttershy starts to look at him pleadingly. He sighs. “No... I don’t hate her...” I feel Cream Puff unlatch from my flank and sniff hard. I sigh in relief as the burning subsides, trying to keep tears of pain from spilling. However, the look on Cream Puff’s face is hitting me hard.

In that face, I see a moment that she’s reliving. Being told that her parents will never come back home. That she’ll never see them again. That she will be alone. That she has no one. Well, nopony to help her. Part of me just wants to go over there and try to comfort her. However, there is the other part of me that wants to just get out of this situation altogether. That part of me wins and I slip quietly away, as Fluttershy sets Cream Puff down to join the rest of them. Pinkie Pie is doing what she does best: Entertaining them and putting smiles on their faces.

However, I’m not seeing one on Cream Puff’s face. That worries me.

I dart past Twilight and Rarity and got the far side of the kitchen. The feelings, emotions and thoughts about what just happened confuse, conflict and overwhelm me to the point of rage. The thought that something I did, even if it was by accident, to some individual so young and who has been already been through so much upsets me. And seeing Twilight’s face doesn’t help any. Damn it! I warned her about this!

The kitchen door closes and Twilight walks over to me, the question she is about to ask is nearly hanging in the air, begging to be asked. “What... happened?” her voice cuts through the air and my face twitches.

“What happened?” I push a bit of my mane out of my face.

“That is what she asked, darling.” Rarity says. I glare at her and she gives a unnerved smile.

Twilight gently pushes her friend behind her. “Yes, that is what I asked. What happened?”

I fight the bubbling rage threatening to spill over. “What happened?! What happened is that you tempted the universe! You invoked narrative and the universe laughed and said, ‘Derp! O.K. Twilight!' What happened was-”

Twilight puts a hoof up in front of my mouth and gives me a stern look. I whimper and turn my head away.

“Please calm down and tell me what happened, H.B.” Twilight says.

I take a deep breath. “Right.” I run a hoof through my mane. “I started reading and everything was going fine. Then, Cream Puff and Marrs start arguing over whose book is better, I try to stop them from doing this, Marrs says something... hurtful to me, Cream Puff comes to my side and defends me, then she comes over and gives me a hug.”

Rarity blinks in confusion. “Begging your pardon, but how did that result in her crying over the death of her parents?”

I fight the urge to snap at Rarity again. Damn it! No! Down! Stop, you are not a bitch! She is just asking a question. A totally harmless question! “She hugged me on my mark,” I reply darkly.

“I hate to repeat Rarity’s question here-” Twilight starts.

“Then don’t!” I bite my lower lip. “I’m not sure I can quite explain myself because I don’t quite understand it myself,” I exclaim, pacing. “But I can give it a go and give you my best guess.” I try to figure out how to put this into words. What to say here. Fuck it, I’ll just say what I need to say.

“This fetting mark is evil.”

Author's Note

I seriously hope people will refrain from adding comments of their dislike of Rarity here before they can see chapter Five. Chapter Five is done, but needs proofreading. I have my proof readers on this.

Grudge Match

Chapter Five

Grudge Match

The two of them blink and look at me with very confused looks on their faces. I can’t blame them. What are cutie marks but patches of coloured fur on a pony’s rump, right? Then again, from what I have seen out of the show, they could be more.

“Huh?” Twilight asks.

“When Cream Puff touched it-” I glare at my right side, the side that she was touching. “-it started to burn. And I don’t mean like if something touches an old burn or the like. I mean more like that red hot brand was being shoved into my skin again,” I explain, giving a visual with my hooves.

“And her touching your mark caused her to cry? How does that work?” Twilight asks. Damn it! Why doesn’t she get this? She’s Twilight Sparkle! She deals with strange magical things all the time!

“I don’t know! But that’s what happened!” I reply, glaring at my flank.

Twilight gives me a questioning and bemused look. “H.B., I have a hard time believing that. After all, touching another ponies cutie mark doesn’t normally do anything.”

I do not like being talked down to like this. It’s my ass and my fucking mark. “Twilight! Are you forgetting that I am -not- a normal pony? And these-” I point to the broken hearts placed on my ass. “These. Aren’t. ‘Normal' cutie marks, Fet! These aren’t even real fetting cutie marks! They’re fetting brandings!”

“Still, touching it shouldn’t-” Twilight begins.

I glare at her. She’s not listening to me. I hate when others don’t listen to me or can’t hear me. I frown and I feel my leg twitch slightly. “Fine!” I shout turning my flank to Twilight. “Touch it!”

Twilight gives me a weirded-out look. “What?”

“You heard me! Touch it, Twilight! If it isn’t anything special, why not go ahead and touch it! It’s not like I am going to ever offer my flank to be touched by you again!” I glare at her. “I dare you.”

...Wow. Just... wow. Only now after I have said it does that sound really perverted.

Twilight looks at my flank and reaches cautiously forward as if she is about to stick her hoof into a fire. She gasps suddenly and then pulls it back. “I-I’m not going to touch your flank, H.B. After all, I know it means something totally different in your culture.”

I turn away from her. There is a bit of satisfaction in knowing that: (A) She knows that touching my butt has different connotations where I’m from. And (B) That she looked a little frightened when her hoof was going up to touch me. Like my worries are justified in all this. “See? Even you’re afraid to touch it.”

Just then out of the corner of my eye, I see Twilight’s face glare at my expression and then her hoof reaching forward to my mark. “Well if you’re going to be that way about it.”

On reaction I clutch my tail and use it as a shield of sorts, after all, the fresh memory of the burning pain still quite clear in my mind. “Twilight!” I shout.

She looks at me confused. “What?!”

==============================================================

Heartbreak glared at Twilight. “What part of, ‘Don’t touch it,’ and, ‘It’s evil!’ aren’t you getting?!”

“But you said-” Twilight began.

“I said that because I wanted to see your reaction! I didn’t think that you would actually follow through with touching my flank!” Heartbreak replied.

“You wanted to see my reaction?” Twilight asked frowning. “Why?!”

“I told you, this thing is just...evil!” She sighed looking at the ground. “It’s hard to explain, but...” Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “I swear the thing sometimes... changes. I swear it looks different than when it was first,” she paused again, her face twitching. “Given to me.”

Twilight looked at the mark. “I’ve never... noticed that before.” She bent her head down to look at it. “It does look slightly different. Maybe I should scan it-” she began, her horn glowing.

Heartbreak almost instantly jumped back. “What?! No! I don’t want your horn or your magic near it!”

“H.B.! I’m just trying to help you,” Twilight replied, a spike of surprise rippling through her voice.

“And I said no!” Heartbreak insisted. “Didn’t you once say that you didn’t recognize the magic that brought me here?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do with your cutie-” Twilight paused on her words. “What does that have to do with your mark?”

Heartbreak held her tail against her mark the best she could and looked at the ground. “It was Fae magic that brought me here, Twilight. And Fae magic that put this thing on my flanks. And I might not understand much about magic as a whole, but I know two things.” She looked at Twilight warily. “One: there is no magic that you know of that can give a p-p-pony a cutie mark. And two: I am pretty sure that mixing strange magic that you know nothing about with your own magic is a bad idea!”

Twilight stared blankly. “Alright, those things are true. However, the only way I can learn anything about this is by interacting with it. If I could just-” She started to say as she lowered her horn.

Heartbreak’s eyes widened in a terrified expression “I. Said. No!”

Rarity walked up to Twilight and made a motioning gesture at Heartbreak. “This is what I was talking about, Twilight. We try to offer her help at every turn and she only refuses like a stubborn little filly!”

Heartbreak looked at Twilight. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen.”

Rarity frowned. “And refusing anypony’s help, particularly a pony whose special talent happens to be magic, just because you’re afraid, will stop bad things from happening?”

Heartbreak stomped her hoof down. “I would rather nothing happen then something terrible happening like what just happened out there!”

“Something that you haven’t quite explained just yet!” Rarity retorted. “Like Twilight, I am not quite sure I buy into your whole story of, ‘My cutie mark makes ponies cry.’”

Twilight frowned. “Rari-” she began.

“It’s not an excuse! I know what I felt! And it felt horrible and wrong!” Heartbreak replied seething.

Twilight tried to get a word in edgewise. “H.-”

“That just sounds like an excuse to avoid simple activities like being social and talking to other ponies!” Rarity countered. “And if you felt horrible and wrong about somepony touching that mark of yours, then you should let Twilight look at it!”

Twilight turned to her friend. “Rar-”

“Simple!? Excuse me, but reading and entertaining a group of little ponies is far from simple and a job that I am not qualified for!” Heartbreak replied harshly. “And I told you no! Look! I’m no specialist in Fae magic. Fet, I didn’t think that there could be a specialist in Fae magic, but everything I have read in the mythology department? You don’t go bungling the Fae bangles! And Twilight doesn’t know anything about this thing either!” Twilight raised her hoof and opened her mouth. This time however, she wasn’t able to even get a sound out.

“So. Let me see if I am understanding this properly. By taking the route that you view as safest: The one that you only take out of fear, you think you are going to do as our Princess has commanded and get back into harmony?!” Rarity asked moving closer to Heartbreak.

“Hey, it works for Fluttershy! Besides, the Princess said that she wanted me to write her letters about the profound things I have learned about myself and what lessons that I learned about the Elements of Harmony! She said nothing about ponies looking at my rump!”

Rarity humphed. “I might be a lady and a dressmaker, but even I know that if you are constantly living in fear and unwilling to take chances that you won’t get anywhere! A fashionista has to be willing to take chances!” She turned and glared at Heartbreak. “It seems to me that the rumors that I have been hearing about you are indeed true!”

Twilight started to groan. Could this argument get any more pointless?!

“You are indeed nothing but a stubborn, hardheaded, whiny little filly!”

Heartbreak’s jaw dropped slightly and she glared seethingly. “Oh! You didn’t just call me whiny!”

“Yes I did, and I will do it again!” Rarity moved close to Heartbreak’s face. “You’re whiny.”

Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed at Rarity. “Whiny? You’re calling me whiny?”

“Do I need to repeat myself yet again?” Rarity asked.

“Oh no... But that isn’t whining...” Heartbreak began as her voice took a sudden upturn in pitch and she threw her hooves down. “Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis is whining! Twiiilight! Rarity’s being mean to me! Why does she have to be sooooo mean!?”

Twilight looked around wide eyed, her ears drooping. “Uh-oh...”

Rarity looked confused for a moment, and then her eye twitched. “Stop that.”

“The poooonies are talking about me and saying mean things!” Heartbreak continued, touching her face in an over dramatic manner. “Walking on hoooves is haaaaard! Why do I have to eat hay!?”

Rarity bristled. “Stop that!”

“But I’m just a stubborn little filly!” Heartbreak replied in a whiny voice as she crossed her forelegs. “And I am just emulating one of my teachers!”

Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, you! You think you can out do me at my own game!?” She flipped her mane. “Is that what you think? Well maybe I should emulate you!”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “You don’t know me well enough.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, what’s to know?!” She proceeded to put on her saddest face. “I’m Heartbreak and I’m a sad, sad pony that isn’t really a pony!”

Heartbreak grimaced. “Oh, we’re playing that game, eh?” she coughed and put on the most fake accent she could muster. “I’m Rarity! I’m always fashionable and giving, except when I am not!”

Rarity mussed up her mane slightly and then looked at Heartbreak. “Oh Woe is me! I have all the time in the world but I don’t do anything to clean up my appearance! I could brush my mane or get it done up, but I’d rather not because that would mean dealing with other pooooooonies!”

Heartbreak narrowed her eyes. “While I can’t staaand being alone and need constant approval of other ponies on my appearance! I have to be oh-so-stunning all the time, daaaaaaaaaaaaaarling! Oh! What’s that?! I chipped a hoof! I feel a pimple coming on! Better dash off to the spa!”

“I was thrown here by my bitter ends and now it’s hard for me to adapt! But that’s no surprise seeing that I live in constant fear of doing things!” Rarity flustered getting in Heartbreak’s face.

“I always have time for my fffriends and those p-p-ponies who need me, except when I’m chasing after stallions old enough to be my father!” Heartbreak countered, smirking.

Rarity glared back at her and took a dramatic pose looking at her hoof. “When I couldn’t adapt to not having my former appendages, I drilled a hole in my hoof and chased after the creepiest pony in all of Ponyville!”

Heartbreak frowned and broke her whining. “I was under the influence of magic tea that Twilight gave me! You might have known that if you had been talking to either Twilight or myself instead of the Ponyville gossip mill!”

“I’ve been BUSY! I have had a lot of dresses to make, thank you very much!” Rarity exclaimed pressing her face up to Heartbreak's. “Some of us work for a living!”

“Well I didn’t know that! Because you didn’t tell me!” Heartbreak ranted as she pressed her face back. “And I have been doing all the jobs that Twilight has given me!”

“Well, it’s no wonder when you’re living in your own little world all the time!” Rarity nearly shouted.

“Like you’re one to talk-” Heartbreak started.

“THAT'S. E-NOUGH!” Twilight shouted, while pushing them both apart.

Rarity and Heartbreak turned away from each other. “She started it!” They said in unison.

“I don’t care who started it! The both of you are acting like bratty little fillies now and it’s getting us nowhere! If you keep acting like little fillies, then I am going to treat you like little fillies and make you hold hooves in a corner!” Twilight said gritting her teeth and pointing at a corner of the room. Suddenly a flash of something flickered across her face. “In fact...”

Heartbreak’s face drooped. “Uh-oh...”

Rarity looked at Heartbreak confused. “Uh-oh? ‘Uh-oh,’ what?”

“I-I know that look on Twilight’s face,” Heartbreak replied worriedly.

“You do?” Rarity asked.

“N-now Twilight,” Heartbreak said starting to back pedal. “I know that Rarity and I have our issues! But that doesn’t mean that you have to do anything rash! We can work out our differences, right Rar-Rar?” Rarity blinked and shook her head. After all, this pony had been arguing with her only moments ago.

“Oh good! You’ve figured out what I have decided to do then!” Twilight replied brandishing a large smile.

“Oh... fet... locks...” Heartbreak muttered quietly to herself.

“You have?” Rarity asked.

“As Headteacher, I am making an executive decision.” She took a deep breath. “Rarity, you are going to be H.B.’s teacher for this month.” Twilight put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Congratulations.”

Just Act Natural

Chapter Six

Just Act Natural

Right now, mentally, I am applying my hoof to my face. Repeatedly.

“What the fuck were you thinking!? Seriously! Could you not see where that was going!? You were -just- talking to Twilight about the problems invoking narration, and then you pull the classical, ‘two people arguing with the one who talks reason in charge watching’ skit! With ponies!”

Rarity looks at Twilight pleadingly. “Twilight, darling, there is just simply no time this month! I have things that I need to do! Dresses I need to make, places I need to go! I mean...” she blinks lifts a hoof and opens her mouth desperately, trying to find something to fit into her schedule.

I personally don’t want to deal with Rarity this month either. I mean, sooner or later, I will have to deal with her, but I’d rather it be later - much later - that I deal with her. It wouldn’t hurt to help her out now. It might pay off when she actually has to teach me. I lean over to Rarity and whisper in her ear. “What about Opal?”

“Yes! What about my Opal?! If animals react poorly to Heart-” She begins. I cough, frowning at her. “-H.B., then what about my poor Opal? I wouldn’t want her to get her claws covered in any blood!”

I glare at Rarity. “Gee. Thanks Rarity. For a second I thought you cared...”

“I do care! With you being from a different world, there is no telling what you brought with you!” Rarity replies, trying to give a better explanation for her choice of words.

Twilight shoots a look that causes the both of us to stiffen up. “Enough. I have made up my mind about this.” She paces a bit, looking at the ground before turning her gaze back to the both of us. “Rarity, I’m not buying the excuse that you don’t have any time. I have seen you do dress work faster in less time. As far as Opal goes, you can have Fluttershy look after her.”

Fuck, the both of us pushed Twilight to the point where she is acting sorta like a military general. I bite my lip and realize that I am nearly standing, ‘at attention,’ or at least the pony equivalent of it. Twilight then walks up to me and starts to put a hoof up to my shoulder. Almost instantly I flinch. She pulls back in surprise. “Is there something the matter, H.B.?”

“No Petty Officer!” I shout almost on instinct. I quickly cover my mouth with a hoof and look at both of them. Alright, I wasn’t in the military for that long, really. Just a year and four months, enough time to go through boot camp and some electrical training. But I guess old habits stick when you are under stress. “I mean... uhm, no Twilight, there is nothing wrong.”

“Good!” Twilight replies cheerfully.

“But Twilight, I am taking a trip next week!” Rarity says practically begging.

Now I’m not sure whether or not I should be cheering for Rarity. I’m kinda feeling a bit... neglected? No... pushed aside? Sorta... maybe? Like I’m not important or even worth her time? Close! Seriously what the fuck? I’m not sure what I am feeling, but I don’t really like it.

“Then take her with you. It’ll do her some good to see more of Equestria. And while she’s gone, hopefully the local rumor mill will find somepony else to talk about,” Twilight explains. She looks at me expectantly. Crap.

My ears droop and I look down at the ground. “What?”

She looks at me questioningly. “Aren’t you going to say something or at the very least protest?”

I kick my hoof. “I don’t see why I should. You’ve already made up your mind about what is going to happen here. I was a bad p-p-pony and now I’m paying for it.” I want to add, ‘like I always do,’ but I’ve already gotten my point across, no need to share my emoness with these two any further. I turn towards the stairs. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I think I am going to go upstairs and write in my journal.”

Twilight’s magic lifts one of the books from the shelf in front of me. “Are you going to go upstairs to mope about this whole event?” I really want to protest the idea that I’m moping here. I mean, I just found out that the stupid mark on my flanks might cause other ponies emotional pain! And then there was the argument with Rarity...

Though, I’ll admit that, for a few seconds, as stupid and pointless as that little spat between us was: It was kind of... fun. I am not sure what I was enjoying about it, other than, ‘hee, I’m upsetting Rarity.’ But, as they say hindsight is twenty-twenty. I’m sure that there are going to be repercussions to this. Particularly with the Spike department.

I roll my eyes. “Maybe, unless you can give me a good reason not to.”

“I can give you three good reasons not to,” she says sternly. I feel my face twitch. Great, she’s going to give me something that I am sure is covered by a trope website somewhere out there. Better ask the question.

I try pushing the book away, “And they are?”

“First, I don’t want you moping all the time. It isn’t healthy. Second, there is the job that you are getting paid to do. If you don’t do it, then you don’t get paid.” She sets the book down in front of me.

“And the last reason?”

Twilight looks me in the eyes and places a hoof on my shoulder. I flinch. Knowing what my mark does now, I am starting to wonder if it is safe for anyone to touch me. “The last reason, or I should say, 'reasons', are behind that door waiting for you to read to them.”

Good grief, that’s some of the worst after school special logic I have ever heard. I glance down at the book and roll my eyes. “Twilight, do you seriously want me to go back out there after what just happened? I’m pretty sure that I freaked out the lot of them and, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that the library is sound proof. I’m pretty sure that they heard us yelling and arguing.”

“Well, then. I am going to have to correct you due to the fact that you are indeed wrong,” Twilight states in a matter of fact manner. “The walls here are pretty solid.” Fuck, that’s right, the library is made out of a carved tree. She then looks at me sympathetically. “And yes, I do want you to go back out there.”

Rarity raises a hoof. “Twilight, darling, I hate to side with her on this, but do you really think it is wise to allow her to return? After all, that one filly-”

“Cream Puff, and thanks for the vote of confidence, Rarity,” I mutter.

“Pardon?” Rarity asks.

“Her name was Cream Puff,” I reply, rolling my eyes. Great, now I remember it. Good for you brain!

She gives me an odd look. I don’t seem to be able to place it. “Right. Cream Puff was rather upset when H.B. left, and the others are bound to ask questions.”

“Pinkie and Fluttershy should have helped calmed the group down by now. Plus if H.B. leaves without any explanation, they are going to tell their parents and guardians about this event,” Twilight explains.

I facehoof at this again. “Which of course will give even more things for the rumor mill to chew on...”

“Exactly,” Twilight replies. Fuck, I hate admitting this, but Twilight seems to be on her game today.

I tap my hoof and think over the options here. “Go upstairs, mope and write line after line of emo garbage in my journal, argue with Twilight some more or go out there and,” I swallow hard. “go back to reading to a group of colts and fillies.”

I sigh, roll my eyes and lean down to pick up the book that Twilight placed before me. “Fine, but I don’t have a clue what to tell them about my slight freak out, and run away.”

“Do what you did with Dib. Make up a reasonable excuse.” What the fuck? Why the fuck is Twilight sounding more rational this month than last? I kinda want to nitpick about the morality that Twilight is pushing here with lying to colts and fillies, but I don’t want to be called out by Rarity for more whining.

“How long does ‘summer reading’ last, Twilight?” I ask with the stupid book in my mouth.

She looks at the clock over my shoulder and smiles a bit. “Just another half an hour.”

“And then I’m free to do whatever I please?” I ask.

Twilight’s face kinda wrinkles. “If that’s what you want H.B., then yes. However...”

I quirk an eye. Fuck, here come the fucking strings. “However?”

She plucks the book from my lips. “You might want to choose a book more suited to the age group you’re reading for.”

I take a glance down at the book she pulled out of my mouth, “The Advanced Guide to Magical Botanical Life of Ponyville and Surrounding Areas...” I read neutrally. “Yeah. I think I’ll stick with, ‘Danger Mare,’ and,” I grimace a bit, “‘Heartshine Sparkle.’”

==============================================================

“That’s the spirit!” Twilight replied. The only response from Heartbreak she got was a grumble before putting on what appeared to be a fake smile before walking out the door. There wasn’t the same cheering that could be heard before this time.

Fluttershy had Cream Puff laying over her front hooves while she was reading a story called, ‘The Hungry Bunny.’ Pinkie was sitting along side the rest of the colts and fillies, listening and eating cookies happily. Heartbreak slowly walked over to Fluttershy and sat down next to her.

“And the hungry bunny sat down with his family and they all had a big dinner of roasted carrots. The end,” Fluttershy said, looking to her side. “Oh, H.B., you’ve returned. That’s wonderful! Would you like to continue reading?”

Twilight watched Heartbreak’s face the best she could from the small crack in the door. She let out a sigh. “Uhm... well, only if they want me to.”

Fluttershy smiled and looked at the group. “Well everypony, what do you say? Would you like her to continue reading to you all?”

“Yeah?” One of them said questioningly.

“I don’t see why not,” Another one replied.

Marrs munched on his cookie and then took a gulp of apple juice. “Neither do I, I mean as long as she does the voices again.”

Cream Puff leaned over and looked up at Heartbreak. “Yer the best reader ah’ve had, Missus H.B.” She proceeded to crawl over Fluttershy’s hooves and took up new residence on Heartbreak’s. “T-t-thank ya for comin’ back...”

Heartbreak looked wide-eyed at the young filly laying over her hooves with a blush on her face. “Uhm... y-you’re welcome, Cream Puff.”

“Why’d you leave in the first place?” A green filly in the back asked.

“What’s your name again?” Heartbreak asked.

“Mint Cream,” She replied.

“Right, Mint Cream, well uhm, you see,” Heartbreak sighed. “Two reasons: One... I’m not used to, uhm situations like what just happened.”

“What did just happen?” Marrs asked though a mouth of cookie.

Heartbreak looked down. “Cream Puff happened to hug me on a part of my body with some very bad scars on it. They happen to be on both sides of my legs.”

Marrs looked interested. “How do you get scars on both sides of your legs?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Marrs,” Heartbreak replied.

“Awww! Come on! I want to know!” Marrs whined.

Heartbreak looked at him in a deadpanned manner. “When I was younger, I fell down some stairs into a box of really sharp ink pens. They went pretty deep and I was in the hospital for several weeks due to some ink poisoning.” The group let out a collective uncomfortable murrer, while both Pinkie and Fluttershy fake a cringe. “And that’s why I don’t like talking about it. So, what book shall we read first?”

Cream Puff looked up at Heartbreak really sadly. “Ah’m sorry, H.B.!”

Heartbreak paused, looking at Cream Puff’s face. She awkwardly patted her on the head. “It’s alright, Cream Puff. It just hurts every now and again, so try to steer clear of it. And you didn’t know. But now you all know.”

“And knowing is half the battle!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

Heartbreak gave her a questioning look. “Riiiiiight.”

“How often does it hurt, H.B.?” Cream Puff asked.

Heartbreak looked to her side. “Everyday...” She replied distantly. A small quiet went through the room. Heartbreak coughed and then shook her head. “So! What would you all like me to read!?”

Mint Cream offered up a book. “Read mine!”

“‘My Secret Garden?’” Heartbreak asked.

Marrs grumbled. “I wanted more Danger Mare..”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Maybe later, Marrs.” Cream Puff smiled, looking up at Heartbreak before sniffling a bit. “Are you alright, Cream Puff?” She asked.

“Ah’m better, but still a little sad,” she replied.

Heartbreak face drooped, but then it perked up when she looked up. “Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie looked around then pointed at herself. “Who me?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Do you see any other Pinkies around here?”

Pinkie looked more than a little horrified. “I hope not! More than one of me is always bad news!”

Heartbreak chuckled under her breath. “That’s for sure, however, I was wondering if you have chocolate stashed around Ponyville. You know, in case of chocolate emergencies.”

Pinkie bounced up. “Do I?!” She quickly zipped over to one bookshelves. She looked around quickly and snagged a book from the top shelf. She crept back to the group as if she possessed some marvelous treasure.

“The Sweet Secret to My Success?” Fluttershy asked, looking at the cover. “Pinkie, H.B. asked for-”

“Oh Fluttershy! I know what she asked for!” Pinkie replied opening the book. Upon which everypony could see that there was an assortment of truffle chocolates.

“Can she have one, Pinkie?” Heartbreak asked.

“Well, of course she can have one, silly! Everypony can have one!” She said happily passing them out.

Twilight kept watching the group, particularly Cream Puff. It almost felt like Heartbreak was up to something, but she wasn’t sure what. At least not until a broad smile crept back over Cream Puffs face.

“How do you feel now, Cream Puff?” She asked.

“Much better!” Cream Puff replied happily, through a mess of chocolate.

“Remember, colts and fillies: Chocolate fixes everything.” Heartbreak said with a weak smile.

“I’ll eat to that!” Pinkie said gobbling up a truffle.

“Right, now bring that book here, Mint,” Heartbreak said.

Twilight closed the door and let out a sigh of relief. She looked at her bookshelf and started scanning the titles.

Rarity blinked. “Well, that went a lot better than I expected. I don’t know how you managed to keep your composure in all that, Twilight. I half expected you to explode!” She turned and looked at Twilight. “How did you keep so calm? I mean after the little spat that H.B. and I had...”

Twilight started pulling some of the books off the shelf. “Truth be told, Rarity,” She looked at her friend. “I was actually a bit terrified.”

“Well, you were doing a most excellent job of hiding it,” Rarity replied. “But I’m confused. Why were you terrified, exactly? From what I saw, H.B. handled things,” Rarity winced, possibly addmiting she might've be wrong about H.B., “in an adult manner.”

Twilight looked at her friend, the worry finally creeping on her face. “Because, I suspect that H.B. is right.” She cleared the table off and set the books down.

“Right, about what?” Rarity asked.

“Well,” Twilight began as she opened a book in front of her. “She is definitely right about me not knowing anything about the magic that sent her here. And while I am not sure about her, ‘mark being evil.’” Twilight paused. “I think I did see it shift.”

Rarity blinked. “Shift? You mean... it changed? Twilight darling, I may not be as adept as you in the realms of magic as you are, but even I know that cutie marks don’t change.”

Twilight looked at the kitchen door. The thought of that black broken heart on the other side almost burned in her mind. “We both know that Rarity. But as H.B. has clearly stated before, that... that thing isn’t a cutie mark.”

Plots and Schemes

Chapter 7

Plots and Schemes

Rarity looked at Twilight. It was confusing and rather off putting to see her friend, who was normally adept at anything magical, openly admit to not knowing anything about something of a magical nature.

“Isn’t a cutie mark?” Rarity asked. “Then what do you suppose it is?”

Twilight looked at Rarity. “Right... with you being busy and all, I neglected to make mention of what H.B. has already told us. It’s a branding, a branding that is apparently fused with, ‘Fae magic.’ Whatever that means.”

“A... branding?” Suddenly, the emotions that had been boiling up from the spat that the two shared were replaced with a pained sympathy. Rarity watched as Twilight pulled book after book from the shelves. “Do you think you’ll find anything here?”

“Doubtful, I may have to do some traveling of my own. However, I can’t exclude any resource I can. Understanding, ‘the mark,’ might prove useful in helping H.B. achieve harmony,” Twilight explained.

“Maybe even rid her of the nasty thing altogether?” Rarity asked hopefully.

“I...” Twilight paused. “I get the feeling that it won’t be that simple. If it were, Princess Celestia would have tried it already. But we can always hope...”

Rarity paused looking a bit regretful. “Is there anything I can do, Twilight? I feel rather terrible about the little argument that H.B. and I had.”

Twilight shook her head. “Right now, the best thing you can do is complete your orders and prepare for tomorrow.”

“T-t-tomorrow? You want me to start teaching her tomorrow?” Rarity asked, concerned.

Twilight nodded curtly. “Yes, after all, the sooner you start, the sooner you can get done.”

“Right! Of course!” She giggled nervously. “I’ll just have to figure out what I am going to do.”

Twilight smiled. “Just get to know her first. Share your interests with her. And who knows? Maybe you two will find something you both have in common. For now, just do what I said and don’t worry about it. I’ll be by tomorrow around... shall we say, one o' clock? You should be done by then, right?”

Rarity thought about it, took a deep breath and then nodded. “Yes, the orders should be filled and sent out by then.” She gave a far off look as she contemplated what she was going to do. There were still mixed feelings in this whole matter and if she was going to be practically forced to teach another pony, well that was really going to kill any plans for tomorrow’s, ‘me time.’ “I guess... I’ll be off then. You have a pleasant day and good luck.”

“You too,” She paused. “Oh, and Rarity?”

“Hmm?” Rarity asked stopping midway out the door.

“Would you mind not telling H.B. about my investigation regarding her mark? She has enough concerns on her mind as it is. If she found out? She would most likely have another little freak out and try to stop me. And if I am going to learn anything, then I am going to need as little interference as possible. And if you could, please try to get along with her?” Twilight said, not even looking at her friend.

“Of course, although I’m not making any promises on the, ‘getting along with her,’ department. But... I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Rarity opened the door in time to find Spike reaching for the handle. “Oh! Spike!”

Spike was carrying a large bag of quills and parchments. He looked a little shocked before he started to blush. “H-hi Rarity. I didn’t expect you to be here today...”

“Twilight didn’t tell you about the meeting we were all having today?” She asked.

“Uuuhm, no I don’t think she did,” Spike replied, setting down the bags near the table and scratching his head.

“Ugh!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t anypony read the notes on my whiteboard!?”

Spike looked at Twilight. “Twi’, no offense, but there were like fifty of them up there and they were all in this really tiny print. I might be used to your writing and all, but that’s a lot of reading.”

Twilight grimaced at her assistant before rolling her eyes again. “You know, that’s exactly what H.B. told me.”

“Maybe she has a point in there somewhere,” he said turning his attentions back to Rarity. “So... how are you doing? I’ve heard that you’ve been rather busy.” He leaned over while holding his hands in front of himself and proceeded to flutter his eyes at the pony of his affections. “Do you need me to help with anything? Or do you want to hang out or something?”

Rarity blinked several times as if her mind were a thousand miles away and then she shook her head. “I’m terribly sorry, Spike, but I’m going to be really busy with a new,” She paused looking at Twilight. “...Assignment... that I just received.”

Spike looked worried as Rarity left. Something seemed a bit off. Her mane and tail were a bit more frazzled than from just working on dresses. She was looking up at the sky, chewing on some random thought longer than she should have. As she walked back to her shop, she finally shook her head and threw up a hoof.

Spike closed the door as he watched the signs of his longtime love in distress over something. “Twilight,” he started cautiously, “Did something happen while I was gone? Rarity doesn’t seem like herself right now. And what’s this, ‘assignment,’ she was talking about?”

Twilight put her book down and sighed. She knew that Rarity had long held the little dragon’s heart, how much he was smitten with her. However, just hiding the truth from him would cause more harm later. “H.B. and Rarity had a little... conflict. It wasn’t pretty. But it has been resolved.”

Spike frowned and then crossed his arms. “Was it as bad as when the two of you butted heads?”

Twilight bit her lower lip wondering how much of what happened she should tell him. “Almost, but not quite as bad.”

Spike stared at her, frowning and expecting a more detailed response as he tapped his foot on the ground. “How, bad?”

“There was a bit of an argument between the two of them, they started...” Twilight paused and rubbed her temples. “Whining at the other and getting in each others faces. However, before it could escalate any further, I intervened with a creative solution.”

Spike smacked his face. “Don’t tell me that you’re going to have them together for this month, with Rarity as her teacher...”

“I decided that Rarity would be-” Twilight jumped in surprise and did a double take. “Wait, how did you-”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Cause that sounds exactly like something you would do Twilight.”

“And it worked in stopping them from fighting.”

“But how is that going to solve any problems!?” Spike tapped his foot down before throwing his arms out.

“By having them work together this month, Rarity will learn to stop listening to the gossip mill for her information about H.B. and in turn, H.B. is sure to learn something about generosity,” Twilight replied.

“‘Is sure to?’” Spike asked worriedly. “Twi’, this is H.B. we’re talking about here. I know that we don’t know a great deal about her, but from what we’ve seen so far? She’s pretty stubborn, especially when she thinks she knows what you’re trying to do or when she thinks that she’s right! Then she doesn’t really care about her appearance as much as Rarity, she’s almost as shut in as you are sometimes, tends to say rather... hurtful things when she’s pushed hard enough and on top of it?” Spike frowned and sighed. “She’s made it clear that she doesn’t like dresses. Putting the two of them together? You sure that’s a good idea?”

“It’ll turn out for the best, Spike, you’ll see. I’ll bet it will even bring them both a little closer.”

“Or drive them apart,” Spike replied. “I mean, they are two very different ponies.”

“Spike, if Rarity can learn to get along with Applejack, then I’m sure that she’s more than capable getting along with H.B.,” Twilight replied trying to sooth Spike’s concerns.

“I guess you’re right, Twi’.” Spike rubbed his head. “Still, you know how I feel about Rarity. And the both of them didn’t get off to a good start when H.B. arrived. I mean everypony seems to remember the marshmallow comment, but...” he paused.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “But what Spike?” She asked turning and looking at the little dragon.

“But everypony seems to be glossing over the fact that after the Nine branded her, H.B. nearly flew into a wild rage and practically attacked Rarity!” Spike cried out.

Twilight blinked and looked a bit horrified. “She did?! Nopony told me about that.”

“Applejack was able to tie her down in time, and H.B. told me that she regretted doing it later. But... I’m sure that Rarity doesn’t know that.” Smoke curled out of Spike’s nose as he remembered the events of that night. After Heartbreak had passed out and the shock had worn off the group, Rarity was practically in tears.

“That... that might explain a bit more about her behavior towards H.B.” Twilight frowned, that might put a crimp in her plans, but not one that couldn’t be ironed out. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me that...” Twilight sighed. Her plans were already set into action, there could be a bit of tweaking but Rarity was already expecting H.B. tomorrow. “Be that as it may, Princess Celestia has put the six of us in charge of this situation, Spike. And as headteacher I have made up my mind about these things. I’m pretty sure the two of them can resolve their issues,” Twilight said reassuringly while walking to Spike. “You’ll see, everything will turn out for the best.”

Spike humphed. “If she so much as hurts one beautiful hair in Rarity’s mane...”

“You have nothing to worry about Spike. After all, you yourself said that she was regretting that situation.” She picked up a scroll and quill. “Now, I need you to take a letter to the Princess. There are some things that I need to hammer out with her before we can get the next stage of what we are going to do with H.B. underway.”

==============================================================

Alright, I admit it. I don’t think I can say no to a cute face.

Fuck, this is going to be a serious problem isn’t it? Those little rug rats kept asking, ‘Just one more story, H.B.? Please! Could ya read this one? What about this one? Oh! This is a good story!’

Even Marrs was getting his way a few times by shooting me a few cute eyes. ‘I’m really sorry for those mean things I said! It’s a really short Danger Mare story, H.B.!’

If it weren’t for Fluttershy practically pulling them away and reminding them that they had to be home in time for supper? I’m sure that we’d be still be reading. What’s worse than all that?

Secretly, a tiny speck of me enjoyed it. I think.

Fuck, I don’t want to enjoy these things. I can’t enjoy these kind of things! I will not allow myself to admit to liking it! “Why? It’s a good thing, isn’t it? You should just stop your whining and learn to appreciate what you have here. Can’t you do that?” Yes...no...maybe, I don’t know! Doesn’t giving in to enjoyment of anything here mean that I am giving yet another piece of myself up? That I am accepting their punishment?

I bap all the voices that are stirring up in my head. Shut up. All of you. Shut up the part that says I should be enjoying it. Shut up the part that says that I shouldn’t. Just shut the fuck up and let me rest. I’m tired and I feel weird about reading to little foals. I might get used to it after a while, but I’m tired right now.

A question traces itself in around the folds and dark corners of my mind. “Will you ever accept it? Will you ever admit to enjoying something like this? Just once?” I shake my head. No, not right now. See that wonderful soft thing in front of us? You want me to admit to enjoying something? I enjoy that. I enjoy sleeping on that. So, voice from the inner recesses of my mind, please kindly fuck off and let me enjoy that. Falling to the bed, I sigh, exhausted. Who the fuck knew that reading would be such a work out?!

My brain continues to plague me with annoying questions. “What about after you regain your harmony? What then?” Ugh! I told you to shut up! I’m not sure what to make of this question. How to address it. The only thing I have to reply is with a, ‘maybe?’ and a, ‘I don’t know.’ After all, I haven’t thought that far ahead into the future. Who knows if I will have even made it that far.

Nudging the blankets, I push myself under them and curl up for a little bit of a nap. “Just a little bit of a sleep, that’s all I need. A little time to relax before dinner. Gaia knows that tomorrow is going to be stress filled enough.” That’s when I hear the sound of hooves coming up the stairs. “Fuck. It’s Twilight.” I cringe at myself. “No, stop it. There’s no reason to get all angsty here. No reason to think she’s going to scold you or anything. She’s most likely just going to tell you what the fuck the meeting was about. If you’re lucky, she’ll have forgotten your stupid little spat with Rarity.” I snirk. “Or maybe she’ll present you with the runner up prize for engaging in the most pointless argument ever!”

There is a knock outside the door. “H.B.? Are you sleeping?”

“No... there’s a bug in my eye and I am trying to suffocate it,” I reply.

I can almost hear Twilight double taking here. “Wha-huh?” I shoot! I fail. Lame joke is lame.

“Nothing Twilight, I’m just trying to amuse myself and nap a little bit. I swear, I have no idea how you read so much. Other than, ya know, practice.” I turn over to face her. “So, what’s up?”

She turns, walks into the room and turns on the light. “I was going to tell you what our meeting was about. I can come back if you-”

“No, it’s alright, I just needed a little lay down.”

“Alright.” She walks over to the side of the bed. “You mind sitting up? What we’re going to be talking about is going to be rather important, and I want your full attention.” Sighing, I push myself up and look directly at Twilight. She nods and smiles at me. “Right, as you know for the past month I have been keeping you pretty busy with odd jobs so that you can build up a little capital of your own.”

I roll my eyes. Twilight Sparkle everyone: Master at stating the obvious.

“And here I thought you were just doing it to keep me busy and my mind occupied.” She shoots me a look. “Right... uhm, shutting up now.”

“As I was saying, I wanted you to build up a little capital this month because the girls and I are working on getting you a place of your own. Your own home,” Twilight explains.

“M-m-my own home?”

Twilight looks at me while smiling, her face filled with some sense of accomplishment. I think. “Yup! Whether that home be a small house, an apartment or some other accommodations.” She puts a hoof on my shoulder. “We want to make sure that you have your own space to live in, somewhere where you don’t feel pressured to be something that you are not.” I sniff hard. “Are you ok, H.B.?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” I cough out. A rather unpleasant feeling runs through my being. It makes me feel all choked up and teary eyed. Good fucking Gaia, I am so sick of this happening. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Twilight is offering to help you find a house of your own. That shouldn’t upset you. But it does. At least this time you know the reasons behind why it is upsetting you. I bite down on my lip, the pain holds back any tears.

Twilight sighs. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you that-”

“H.B.,” She rubs my shoulder and looks at me. Fuck, there’s that ‘look of understanding,’ on her face. She’s not going to stop till I fess up on what’s upsetting me here.

“Fine,” I take a deep breath to explain myself. “It’s stupid. It’s really just pathetically stupid.” She looks like she’s about to say something. “I knew this was coming sooner or later, or something like this. I mean I -know- I can’t stay with you forever, Twilight. But... I feel like...” Stupid feelings. Girls can’t go through -this- much emotion can they!? Things can’t be this hard for the, ‘fairer sex,’ can it? No, it has to be me. I’m making it harder than it has to be. Sniffing hard I try to go on explaining. “For a good part of my life, I always felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. Even growing up. Then after I was practically forced from my parents house, I bounced from place to place for a while. I never really had a home and any time I thought I did, it was time for me to leave again. There was even one time when I was actually evicted from a place...”

“And now you’re really happy that you might actually get a home?” Twilight asks me.

I slump. “No... It’s more like, well... I’ve been living with you for a while Twilight, and I know you’re well meaning in your intentions, but I can’t help but feel like I am getting... evicted again.” I shake my head and then pound my hoof on the bed. “And I know that’s not the case! You... girls are just trying to make things easier for me and help me on my way.”

Twilight blinks. “You mean... Like with your exes...” She asks.

“I guess...” I sniff hard and Twilight makes a face. She plucks a tissue from a tissue box and puts it up to my nose. I snirk a bit and blow.

“I promise you that it will never be like that, H.B. Ever,” she says, pulling me in for a hug. Fuck. More touchy feely. Maybe I shouldn’t complain. It does make things feel a little better. “They did what they did without any need and they did it with an unnecessary harshness.”

I blink and look at Twilight with a bit of confusion. “When the fet did you become so understanding, Twi’?”

“When I realized that you needed it?” She replies.

“Well, uhm... stop it... I’m starting to think that you’re a changeling or something,” I kinda push her away half-heartedly.

“But I-” Twilight starts.

“Things are getting too... mushy Twilight. I have a bad habit of wrecking those kind of moments.” I cough and rub my nose. “But I get what the meeting was about. You all want to get me a house. That’s... expensive. Are you sure we can do that?”

She smirks and pats me on the shoulder. “I have a few ideas on how we can do it. There are some programs offered for down and out ponies like yourself. Government help and the like. After all, none of Equestria’s citizens should ever be left homeless!” I roll my eyes and sigh. “Uhm, does that bother you too?”

“It’s just my stubbornness, Twilight.”

“You want to feel like you earned it and that it wasn’t just given to you?” She asks me.

I stare blankly at a wall and blink a few times. “Yeah.”

Twilight chuckles and smiles. “Well, if you’re so apt to do something to, ‘make up,’ for any debts you feel you have, a suggestion?”

Crap, Twilight is making suggestions. This can be either be something horrible, something that I don’t want to do, or one of those rare instances where it is something that I want to do and it isn’t going to be rending a bit of myself away. “Shoot...”

She looks confused. “Huh?”

“I mean, sure, explain, what is your suggestion?” I ask floundering about.

“Try to get along with Rarity tomorrow.” Fuck. Yup, it’s both horrible and something I don’t want to do.

I pause trying to think about what I should say. “I... I’ll try... but I’m not making any promises. Today’s little spat didn’t do anything to help it. I swear. I arrive, we have a brief conflict, I don’t see her a few months and we’re back to breathing down each others necks. What gives!?”

Twilight frowns. “Don’t you remember the other thing that almost happened?”

Fuck, I feel clueless. I sort through those jumbled memories. Then it hits me. Or more like I hit her. “Fetlocks. I headbutted her after she wrapped me up... How the fet could I forget something like that?”

“That and according to Spike you almost assaulted her,” Twilight reminds me.

Suddenly that sickeningly harsh feeling returns. “Oh... yeah... Fet. Great.”

“Hey, don’t be like that. You recognize what you did wrong and feel bad about it. That means you have a chance to apologize! I’m sure that you won’t repeat the same mistake in the future.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I’ll just make whole new mistakes.” She gives me a stern gaze. “Alright! I’ll apologize tomorrow and...” I grimace, “try to get along with her.” The prospect of what potential horrors tomorrow could bring? Fuck, who knows what'll happen then!

Twilight smiles and turns back to the room door. “That’s all I ask. Now, I’ll leave you back to your napping and give you a call when dinner is ready.” She turns the light back off as she leaves the room.

I lay back down and curl the blanket around me again. I frown as I turn over. “I don’t care what happens tomorrow, I am so not wearing a dress at the end of all this.”

Memories Revisited

Chapter 8

Memories Revisited

“Just one last seam... aaaand,” Rarity stood back from her creations. “Done!”

Each dress was a unique creation that had been stitched together from the vague ideas she had been presented with by her clients. She smiled and walked by each one.

There was a red dress decorated with shimmering silk flames and purple sequins. It fit so tightly over the dressing doll that it almost looked like a second skin. “I shall call you, ‘Burning Passion!’”

“And you,” she said aloud looking a creation that started orange but gentle rippled to blue. The dress itself bellowed and flowed out like waves on a beach. “Uhm... I shall call you ‘Sunrise on the Ocean!’”

She frowned at the next dress. “Oh, I do apologize to you so, for you aren’t my best work darling... but this was a rush order...” She caressed the mannequin that displayed a pleated dress of swirling yellows and green. “At least I can give you a decent name... hmmm... ‘Daybreak over the Forest!’”

She wasn’t pleased with her last dress, but it would wear over the client comfortably. The next dress, however, was a marvel even to her. She giggled as she ran a hoof over it. “Getting that strange colour just right was a feat in of itself. Not quite blue... not quite purple... a mystery... yes! A Velvet Mystery!”

The last dress was a flowing black and white checkerboard pattern of sorts. There were delicate frills and lace work along the borders. “And finally, ‘Stark Contrast!’” She smiled and looked proud of herself as she looked over her works one final time.

She pranced and giggled in delight. “Rarity, I must say that you have done it again! And with a few hours to spare!” She said glancing at the clock. Just then she heard a flickering of paper falling off her desk. Opal had just jumped from the desk and into the sunny window sill. As Rarity felt the dread of filling out all those papers, her ears drooped. “Hours that will most likely be spent doing the paperwork for these dresses,” she sighed.

Walking over to the desk, she picked up an inkwell and fountain pen to set to work on the stack of papers. Pausing, she fluttered her eyes at her fluffy cat who lay lavishly in the window, trying to take in the last few rays that the sun was offering before it would set. “Opal darling, you wouldn’t mind doing mommy’s paperwork for her while she takes a quick trip to the spa, wouldn’t you?”

Opal rolled her eyes and let out a slight huffed meow.

Rarity sighed. “That’s what I thought...” She placed the inkwell neatly next to her paperwork and pushed herself to try and do this part of the job. Conceptualizing, creating and making your ideas manifest was always a wonderful part of being a fashionista! The paperwork was just plain boring. Signing on dotted lines. Filling out drab sheet after drab sheet of uninteresting dull grey lines. Making sure that it met the specifications of what the customer wanted, keeping in mind each little detail that went into making the dress, even making note of what went into the dress itself! What materials were used, double checking to make sure that none of them were something that the pony who had ordered it was allergic to, there were after all horror stories about ponies who went into shock when dressmakers used less than quality materials in their dress making.

“Not that I would do such things,” Rarity commented out loud. She looked at her cat. “You know that! Right, my precious Opal-wople?” Opal only responded with a murffle and then a surprised meow as Rarity pulled her away from the warm window sill. “I put only the best and the highest of quality in all my dresses and wares!” She said, her sullen cat floating in tow with her as she walked around her shop. “And doesn’t it show?”

She hovered Opal above the final five dresses she had. Opal looked at them and then looked back at her crazy owner indifferently. She meowed. “Whaaat? No, of course I’m not just avoiding trying to do my paperwork! Why would you even think that?”

Rarity’s cat only rolled her eyes and attempted to get away. “I mean, really darling, why would I want to delay getting these dresses out for another day? They are absolutely fantastic!”

Opal rolled her eyes again.

“Oh please!” Rarity scoffed. “Just because Twilight wants me to teach that...” she trailed off trying to think of a proper word to describe Heartbreak. “Whatever-she-claims-to-be, tomorrow doesn’t mean that I would try to delay teaching her! I’ve been ordered by the Princess!”

Opal gave her owner a rather abysmal look as she hovered in midair facing her owner. Her eyes darted to the paperwork and then back to Rarity. The grouchy silence spoke volumes to Rarity.

“Fine, you’ve caught me. I am delaying my paperwork just so that I don’t have to deal with her come tomorrow.” Rarity set Opal down. The cat plopped her little rump on the floor and watched her owner pace. “Truth be told, I’ve been going out of my way to avoid her after the first night we met.”

Opal attempted to slink back to the window sill. However Rarity’s blue aura just dragged her back. “And it isn’t for the reasons that everypony thinks! No! I could have let the whole, ‘marshmallow,’ comment slide! I even attempted a mild joke with her saddlebags to show that there weren’t any hard feelings!” She sighed a bit. “Normally, I would have...” Her hoof gently touched the cat’s chin. “But everypony seems to forget all the events that happened that night, Opal.”

Rarity looked up with a distant gaze out the window. The sunlight was turning a beautiful orange. “There was the assault, yes. My poor head was bruised for a few days after that. Had to cover the mark with a line of hats." As the light danced on tents around her shop, a chill went through her. A memory of what happened just before that blow to the head. "I fear even I forgot a few things about that night myself. Things I didn’t want to believe, after all, nopony could be that cruel...” Her voice trailed off as what was a passing memory forced itself to breach the surface of her mind.

~There she was with Pinkie Pie, comforting Fluttershy. Heartbreak had just got done giving a scathing speech to her about wanting her to go away, lest she do something awful. They managed to calm her down, and then they heard Applejack and Rainbow Dash arrive down stairs.~

“Pinkie and Fluttershy went down first to greet them, and I was about to join them, when I heard a horrible, terrible, shrill scream through the door.” Rarity’s eyes went wide and tears threatened to escape. “No small feat with all things considered, but I raced to the door and tried to pound it down, but to no avail...Then I tried to use my magic, but even that too failed! I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”

Rarity picked up Opal and held her close. Normally Opal would have tried to run away, claw, bite, or something! But not this time. Her Rarity was distressed about something. She slumped, accepting her fate for the moment. “I could hear voices...through the door. One was Heart-” She stopped herself. “H.B.’s, the other, I couldn’t make out! So I pressed my ear against the door and listened before the others could arrive.”

Rarity searched her mind for the scattered details, it was so hard to focus on those moments for some reason!

“It was a young filly’s voice. She sounded... happy. Oh so-” Rarity swallowed and felt ill as the twisted ultra sweet voice retraced its steps through her ears. “-happy. But the things that were coming from her mouth...”

~“-So, I’m sorry Heartbreak, but it looks like I won’t be able to play with you anymore.” There was the sound of hooves clattering to the ground.

And then H.B. screaming. “My Name Isn’t Heartbreak!”

The only response was an all too happy, all too cheerful and bubbly. “Bye Heartbreak. Have a nice life... Heartbreak.”~

Rarity found herself unable to hold back any further. “Oh Opal!” The cat squeaked a little as she pulled her closely. “And then after Applejack kicked down the door, I came rushing in repeating that name! It isn’t any wonder that she reacted the way she did... she must think that I am just horrible!”

Rarity loosened her grip on her beloved Opal and she jumped down. “I’m so sorry for unloading all this on you, my sweet Opal,” She looked down, “I would normally tell these things to Fluttershy or even Twilight, but... I can’t bring myself to! They’re all too involved in it!” Opal tried to make her way to the window, only to be blocked by a purple wall of hair that moved right along with her movements. Rarity now sat down looking out her shop window.

“There’s so much conflict here, so many things that are tattered and strewn about that I hardly know where to start with her!” Rarity said tossing her hoof to the side while looking out the window. “She’s like an ensemble that’s been ripped to shreds, washed improperly and then left to the ravages of the sun!” Opal jumped up on the table next to Rarity trying to seek out any stray sunbeams. The last sunbeams of the day faded as soon as she saw them. Fading, fading until sadly, they were no more.

Rarity frowned and humphed. “And we’re the ones who are expected to put it all back together without any idea what the whole piece looked like before it was wrung through!” She sighed as the stars started to come into view.

Opal blinked and looked off to the side. She knew that her Rarity would get stressed out about little tiny details from time to time, but this was something far different. She put her paws on the unicorns’ chest and meowed at her before nuzzling at her chin. She pounced down onto the pile of papers and drawings on the table. Rarity smiled, such a simple action said so much.

“Oh Opal Sweetie, you always know what to say to make me feel better when it’s important.” Rarity walked over to the table. “Tomorrow is a brand new day and a chance to start anew. I just wish I knew what to do to make her feel better...” She looked at the sketches of the hundreds of different dresses that she had been working on for the past month. Then a spark went off in her mind. “Oh! Idea!”

Opal watched a wide smile burst over her Rarity’s face. It was good that she was happy, that meant she could finally go back upstairs and curl up in her nice warm little bed without any worry that the pony would be fretting about causing her to lose a good night’s worth of sleep.

“Alright, Rarity! After we do half of this paper work now, we’ll go about putting that little idea of yours into play and finish the rest of the paper work in the morning.” Rarity picked up the pen and dipped it into the inkwell. She began filling out the paperwork. “Oh, she’ll be surprised with what I have planned, that’s for sure!”

==============================================================

I didn’t sleep well last night. I was having some seriously fucked up dreams all night. It started out innocent enough, that’s for sure. I was walking into the library and saw Creampuff and a few random kids asking me to read to them. It was actually pretty nice, for a while. But then they started to divide like amoebas and kept trying to get me to read books. The books started to open up and from them spilled out more books. Higher and higher they got until they blotted out any light.

Good job brain. I wanted to sleep on the idea of whether or not I liked reading and you had to go and pull some shit like that? Yeah. Not cool. Keep that shit up and I just might read to the little ones just to spite you.

I pushed my way out of the crowd of youngsters and books, only to find myself in a room full of mirrors. Tall mirrors, short mirrors, mirrors that warped and distorted my image. Looking into each of them I saw what could be considered alternate versions of myself. Taller, shorter, longer, a different coat colour. As I kept walking the changes becoming more and more radical, in one mirror there was even a male version of my pony self looking back at me.

He was taller and had a short mane and tail. We both tapped the mirror and bobbed our heads in time. From there we made faces at each other and then laughed. But the laughter turned into a crowd of laughter. It was too much, too strange and too loud! I covered my ears and started to run away from the noise. Once it died down, I kept on looking at mirrors. At first, there wasn’t anything wrong, but then I saw something in my branding.

Small red streaks that went across the heart horizontally. I walked close to the mirror to get a closer look and as I did so, the streaks became more like eyes... little red eyes... They snapped open and I jumped back in fright.

“Only a reflection,” I told myself. But that’s when I heard a hissing sound. Looking behind me I saw tendrils of sharp blackness coming out of my flanks. I screamed as I watched them strike out into my surroundings. From there I could hear the cries of ponies all around me.

The voices were different, but the message contained was the same. “My friends and family are gone! Where are they! Nopony loves me! Where are my parents? Why are you doing this!? Why did you leave me?!”

There was a... warmth that started to come from the tendrils. It felt like it was being drawn out from somewhere else. The feeling sickened me.

“Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!” I screamed. Manifesting hands, I grabbed the sharp lines of black and pulled them with all my might.

But then things took a serious turn for the weird. The blackness wrapped itself around my arms to form a pair of black gloves and retracted to wrap around me. It felt like it was burning, choking and pain. The only saving grace was that it was quick. When I reopened my eyes I saw that I was wearing a black dress. A black dress that writhed and squirmed around me. It looked like it was made of sharp claw-like stripes that kept moving.

Naturally I tried to rip it off me, but my hands had been replaced with hooves again. I tried to rip it off with my mouth but to no avail. The dress started to get tighter around me, squeezing me.

I heard a soft laughter from behind a mirror. Celestia stepped out from behind it, glowing and burning like a piece of the sun. “Now I have you my pretty... Hold still, this will only hurt for a long time.”

That’s about the time I woke up in a cold sweat and breathing hard. Looking up, I saw that it was ten o’clock. That’s pretty much where I am presently. Lying in bed glaring at the time and trying to shake off an adrenaline rush from a really fucked up nightmare.

“Fffffe-e-et. Three hours till I have to, ‘play nice,’ with Rarity,” I mutter out loud. “Come on, H.B. it’s not going to be that bad! Get up, do your morning routine and get some coffee in you before Twilight comes up here! Things will be alright, you’ll see!” I roll my eyes at the strangely optimistic voice in my head and attempt to pull myself out of the blankets that have wrapped themselves around me in my sleep. “Yeah, sure whateee-!”

Fumbling, I tumble out of bed and smack against the floor. “Thank you, Universe... Glad to see that you ‘love,’ me too.”

A Dragon's Heart

Chapter 9

A Dragon’s Heart

Heartbreak looked down from the top of the stairs. It was getting really tiresome to get that dizzy feeling every time she looked down from this vantage point.

“Fetlocks, come on! They’re just stairs! You’d think after all these months I’d have gotten over this!” She muttered to herself. She suddenly became aware of a clattering noise and looked around. “What’s that sou-” She looked down as her hooves danced up and down. She proceeded to openly facehoof. “Oh. Right. That’s me.”

She looked worried and glared at her foe. “Come on! Today can be the day you overcome something!” She thought to herself. Carefully, she dipped her front hoof onto the first stair. “Alright! Hoof number two! Come on!” Her left hoof went forward to join the right. “Alright, moving forward. Go ahead. It’s not too late! You can whip these stairs! Whip them good!” Heartbreak glared at her brain.

“Not. Helping. You dork,” she muttered to herself. She moved her right hoof forward again and took another step forward on the stairs. Her body started to feel like it was stretching a bit as she did so. Looking at her backside, she glared at her legs. “Hey! Both of you have to move too you know!” She slid her right forward and then her left forward. “That’s better.”

“Alright, and let’s try it again.” She moved her left hoof forward and then her right. But her back legs stubbornly were refusing to move in time. “Come! On!” She grunted as she pulled them to fall on the first step. She returned to looking forward. “Gah!”

Suddenly the stairs didn’t seem like a set of inclined planes anymore but a dizzying array of confusing jagged places. She quickly closed her eyes. “All that is in your head, H.B. It’s in your head. It’s in your head. Just do what you did before. Do. What. You. Did. Be-fore.” She tentatively moved a hoof forward without looking and put some weight on it. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself down. “And. Again.” Her other hoof wobbly joined it’s mate on the step below. Once again she heard the clatter of her back hooves on the steps behind her. She opened her eyes jarringly and nearly screamed as a wave of vertigo took her.

“Gaaaah! Nononononononono!” Her hooves pranced around before she turned herself backwards and climbed backwards down the stairs. Once she reached the bottom she looked at the top. “Fetlocks." Heartbreak whimpered. "One day stairs... one day. GAH!” She jumped a few feet up and fell down on her face as she felt something tap her on the backside.

“Glad to see that you’re up,” Spike said looking at Heartbreak, her head now awkwardly looking at him upside down between her legs.

“Spike! Watch the flank! That thing’s evil!” She cried out.

Spike backed away and put his hands up. “Oh, right. Twilight explained something about that last night.” He cocked his head. “Are you alright? I mean other than being upside down, you look a little... tired.”

Heartbreak struggled to right herself. “Oh, I’m just peachy.”

Spike gave her a serious expression.

“Fine,” She said rolling onto her side and then pushing herself up, before walking to the kitchen. “I had some nightmares.”

Spike took out a bowl and some cereal. After pouring it, he went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of milk. “Anything you would like to talk about?” He asked pulling out the chair for Heartbreak.

“You really don’t need to do that for me, Spike. I mean it’s really nice and all but I can pull out my own chairs,” She said.

Spike put his hands in the air and walked back. “Hey, I’m just trying to be nice.”

“I know you are, Spike and I appreciate it,” Heartbreak said as Spike quickly poured the milk. “As far as my, ‘dreams,’ go? Yeah, not really in the mood to share them. They were just horribly twisted messed up things.” Sighing, she lowered her face to the bowl and started eating her breakfast.

Spike sat down on the other side of the table. He folded his fingers and looked around, narrowing his eyes. “So..”

Heartbreak paused in her eating. “Crudmuffins.” She said after swallowing.

Spike blinked. “Wait, what?”

“The conversation that’s about to happen between us,” Heartbreak said, staring at the bowl of cereal in front of her.

“You know what it’s going to be about?” Spike asked.

“Most likely,” Heartbreak replied, looking to the side and grimacing.

“Then you know what I’m going to say next?”

“Not precisely, but I have a feeling on where it’s going to go. And, uhm, if it wouldn’t be much trouble...” She looked at him with a wide eyed glance. “Can we skip it, please?”

“Ha! I have grown up around ponies all my life, that sad sappy look isn’t going to work on me, Sister!” He retorted crossing his arms.

“Fet. Locks,” Heartbreak muttered looking to her side. She took a deep breath and looked back at Spike. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

Spike furrowed his brow and rubbed his temples. “You’ve put me in a really awkward position here, H.B.”

“Right between the stranger who you have sympathized with for the past few months, and the unicorn who is the love of your life,” Heartbreak said trying to be as detached as she could.

Spike blinked. “How did you know-”

“Spike, I’m H.B. I just know. Besides, even if I wasn’t who I was, it’s practically written in every aspect of what you do. Protip: Don’t leave love letters to Rarity just lying around,” she replied dipping her head back to the bowl.

“Oh, well-” Spike began. His head quickly jerked. “You were reading my love letters to Rarity?”

“Nope,” Heartbreak replied.

“Then how did you know they were to her? Or is this another, ‘because H.B. knows,’ things?”

“I didn’t read them, Spike.” She looked up from her bowl. “But it’s not too hard to make out who they are to when you write, ‘Rarity,’ in large letters and dot the ‘i’s with little hearts. But for the next part of this conversation, what happened yesterday in the argument with the both of us?”

Spike blinked. “Yeah, I suppose that would make it so that anypony would know, still! You shouldn’t be peeking at my love letters to Rarity!”

“Hard not to when you leave them on the floor, Spike. However, you’ll be happy to know that I put them in a place where they aren’t on public display,” Heartbreak replied. “Next part of this-”

“Oh? And where’s that?” Spike asked leaning with both hands on the table.

“Under the bed. I avoided looking at them while I was doing it. After all, they’re your love letters.” Suddenly, Heartbreak’s face crumpled a bit. “Your... personal... private... pieces of your true feelings towards somep-p-pony that cherishes and appreciates you.” She pushed the bowl aside and frumped on the table covering her face with her arms.

Spike’s expression softened a little. “Something wrong?”

“No, Spike. Everyp-p-pony where I’m from covers their face and quietly feels-” Heartbreak started.

“Stop,” Spike said in a calm collected voice. He looked at Heartbreak. “Wasn’t last month’s lesson, ‘be more honest with yourself and your feelings?’”

Heartbreak raised a hoof. “Yes it was, and I am more honest with my feelings with myself. The key words here are, ‘with myself.’”

Spike sighed. “H.B., come on! This is Spike you’re talking to! You’ve been able to tell me a lot of other things.” He looked at Heartbreak from across the table, she was sniffing hard about something.

After a pause, she lifted her head and rubbed her nose. “This is different Spike. It’s...Fet. Locks.” She frowned and crossed her hooves. “You’re giving me that look again.”

Spike pretended to look innocent. “What look?”

“That look that says that you aren’t going to let me go until I give you at least something to satisfy your curiosity about this.”

Spike crossed his arms. “It’s not curiosity as much as it’s concern.”

“Fine,” Heartbreak was biting down on her lip and looked thoughtful. “I...” She sighed. “I... wasn’t exactly, uhm, uninvolved when I was banished here.”

Spike blinked and scratched his head. “Come again?”

“I,” she rolled her eyes and tapped her hoof on the table. “Fetlocks,” She eyed the time. It was getting close to eleven. “Right. Look, it’s...” She paused again. “I’ll put it this way. There are lots of, ‘universal constants.’ Things that are just always there.”

“Like the cucumbers?” Spike asked.

“Like the cucumbers.” She replied. “And one of them is, ‘Spike loves Rarity,’ if this were a logic course-” Heartbreak tapped her hoof on her chin. “-It would be Spike is to Rarity as H.B. is to...” She rolled her eyes and fell to the table again. “Why am I even trying to explain this? I should just use this time to take a fetting shower and get ready to go to the-”

“You had somepony special when they-” Spike stopped as he saw the expression on Heartbreak’s face. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” She pushed herself from the table. “I’d much rather not talk about it, Spike. Suffice to say, I know what you are about to say, cause it would be exactly the same things I would say if I was in your position.”

“So...” Spike began.

“So, retreading on territory that I have already done with Twilight. I will apologize to Rarity for what happened when we first met. I will try to get along with her and try not to upset her,” she stated as she started walking towards the stairs. “But I can’t make any promises. Rarity and I are...”

Spike folded his hands together again. “Different?”

“Yeah that’s the best word for it.” She paused before making her way up the stairs. “And Spike, I would like it if this conversation didn’t leave the two of us. The last thing I need is more talk about me and my... baggage.” Spike blinked and then snickered. She turned her head. “Whaaaaat?”

“Would that be called your, ‘love-gage?’” Spike asked, bemused with himself.

“Ugh, Spike! That was horrible,” Heartbreak groaned. “Where’s Twilight?”

Spike put his hands up apologetically. “Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood. Twilight is at one of the bookstores, said something about trying to find some rare books or something. Why?”

“I was going to ask for her help in brushing my mane and tail after I shower,” Heartbreak sighed and rolled her eyes. “I want to be at least presentable before going. The last thing I want to do is walk into Rarity’s shop and have her feel the need to give me an instant makeover.”

“You know that she just might do that anyway, right?” Spike asked as Heartbreak went up the stairs.

“Please don’t remind me,” She replied, going up the stairs.

==============================================================

I dry myself off after taking a rather thorough shower. Haven’t gotten stairs down, but I’ve relearned how to dry pat myself off. The best way I have found is by laying a towel out before I get in and then plopping my butt on it after I get out. The more I put my tail on it the less water mess I have to clean up after it all.

It seems kind of wasteful to use two towels here, but for now, it works. I finish drying off my mane and tail. I seriously hope that Twilight is back from her little outing. I’m not too sure of Spike’s ability with a brush.

“Speaking of Spike,That was horribly awkward. Spike making jokes about love-luggage, me prancing about the issue that should have been too easy to explain. There was a lot of unneeded tension there. I’m not sure if I handled it well or not.” I frown and sigh hard. "And you attempted to use a, 'cute face,' on Spike?! What the fuck!? Seriously, why did you think that was a good idea?! I lean against the bathroom counter. "Stop beating yourself up, H.B. It's not going to help you face Rarity.

My ear flicks back and I can hear the library door open and close along with Twilight’s voice calling out for Spike’s help with something. I rub my head with the towel some more and shake it some. Finally looking in the mirror, I notice that my mane is getting longer. “Well, duh. It’s going to do that, H.B. If you want to do something about it, ask for a trim.” I chew that over in my head. “Maybe in a month or two.”

I drop the towels into the laundry hamper before nabbing the brush on the counter. “Might as well try to make the effort in looking decent,” I think to myself as I make my way back downstairs.

Procrastination

Chapter 10

Procrastination.

“So, she still hasn’t gotten over her fear of the stairs?” Twilight asked.

Spike shrugged. “Nope. At least she tried right? Which is more than what we can say about a few things where she just shut down.”

Twilight sighed. “At least she feels like she can still talk to you without things feeling too awkward.” She set the stack of books she had gotten from the Ye Olde Books and Manuscripts Shope on the table.

“She also had some nightmares. She wouldn’t say exactly what they were, but geez, she looked horrible. Really stressed!” Spike took out a bowl and poured himself a box of gem flakes that Rarity had given him. “Hey, maybe if the two of them get along, Rarity might take her to the spa! She could definitely use some sort of relaxing treatment. What do you think?”

“While she could use something to help her relax, I doubt she’ll want to go.” Twilight rolled her eyes and set a cup of steaming coffee on the table.

“But she said she would try to get along with Rarity,” Spike said with a bit of disappointment in his voice.

“This is H.B. we’re talking about Spike, going to a spa would require that other ponies touch her. And with the recent development?” Twilight asked opening a book entitled, ‘Obscure Magical Lore and Myths.’

Spike grumbled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right...”

Twilight looked up. This situation was really bothering her assistant. “But you never know. Rarity might be that some pony special that can get H.B. to open up and relax for a change.” The door to the bathroom opened upstairs and Heartbreak’s hoof steps could be heard coming down the stairs.

Heartbreak came into the kitchen, her mane and tail still dripping some. Setting the brush she had her mouth on the table, she blinked at the stack of books. “Hey Twilight, doing some light reading?”

“Hey sleepyhead. Yup. Just brushing up on a few things. I am putting together a research paper that I want to present to some ponies in Canterlot,” Twilight replied.

Heartbreak nodded in an approving way for some reason. “Cool.”

“Cool?” Twilight asked blinking. “Are you chilly? Do we need to turn up the temperature?”

Heartbreak blinked and gave Spike a questioning look. He merely shrugged and continued munching on his gem flakes. “No, I mean that it’s great that you have a life outside of me, Twilight. It makes me feel like I am less of a, ‘Mary Sue.’”

Twilight looked up from her reading and blinked in confusion. “‘Mary Sue?’ Who’s that?”

Heartbreak facehoofed and rolled her eyes. “Nevermind, Twilight. I know I’ve said it before but I’m just going to say that I like the fact that you have a life outside of me and my mark. Also, could you brush my mane and tail?”

“You actually want me to brush your mane and tail?” Twilight asked, picking up the brush as Heartbreak turned her back to her.

“Yes. That’s not a problem is it?” Heartbreak replied.

“No...It’s just that I usually have to remind you and fight you a little about it,” Twilight replied.

“Well. This time it’s different,” Heartbreak replied. Twilight continued with her questioning look. H.B. rolled her eyes. “I don’t want Rarity to give me a surprise makeover like she did with you when you first showed up in Ponyville, Twilight...”

Twilight blinked and her eyes went wide. “Wow...”

Heartbreak’s eyes darted back and forth in a slight panic. “What? I told you, Twi-”

“I know, but it’s just been ages since that happened,” Twilight answered picking the brush up off the table. Heartbreak nodded and sat down in front of her.

“Yeah, I guess it has,” Heartbreak replied, looking off to her side. “Nothing fancy, Twilight. Just nice enough so that I don’t have Rarity pawing through it.”

“So just fancy enough?” Twilight asked.

Heartbreak’s only reply was a low grumble.

==============================================================

I grumble while looking at the reading area of the library. Those kids kinda left a mess here yesterday. There seems to be a juice bottle up near one of the beams. Wonder why Twilight hasn’t scolded me for the mess. Maybe she hasn’t seen it. My eyes keep darting back and forth at the time.

At work, at school, almost anywhere really, you’re discouraged from looking at the clock. Depending on where you are, looking at the clock means that you have some other place that you would like to be, or that you have some place more important to be.

Oh sure, everyone puts so much importance on being on time, but you dare look at a clock and you’re the one being looked down on. At least, that’s how it feels sometimes.

I on the other hand...yeah. Hand... I on the other hand, would watch the clock. At work I would even calculate how much time I had left. All the plastic rolls would come off at a particular rate and then I would figure it out from there. I liked when the roll came out at two minutes or more. That was enough time to make the boxes I needed and measurements to ensure quality.

“Fuck,” I look down at the ground. “I’m procrastinating.” I kind of have been for the past hour or so. I mean, I don’t have to be there until one, but I don’t have anything planned for today. Twilight didn’t set anything up for me. And I’m all showered, brushed, bathroomed and raring to go somewhere. But, I don’t really want to deal with Rarity. I’m scared to face her. She’s a lot of things that I have been trying to avoid ever since I realized that I was indeed the opposite gender. And there are three little things that I would like to avoid. Three things that I want to avoid.

Those three things are the stupid rules of gender bending fics.

The first being that whatever or whoever made you genderbent, much to the amusement of others, cosmic entity, or I am pretty sure in my case The Fae, will break or do something horrible and you’re stuck like this. Check.

The second one is that eventually I’ll see that being the other gender as being better than my old gender. “I seriously doubt that. Thus far, not much difference, other than the obvious. It’s the third ‘law’ I am worried about,” I roll my eyes. “Any gender bent character will either embrace or be subject to all of the stereotypes associated with their new gender.” I can’t help roll my eyes at that one and question, “Why? Why should I?”

I look at the time again. It’s been a full five minutes from when I started pondering all this. Fuck, I’m doing it again. Well, if I am going to procrastinate, maybe I should do something productive and check and make sure I have everything I need.

I turn and look in the mirror. Mane and tail sufficiently brushed. Check. Saddlebags that Rarity gave me? Check. My sketchbook and mechanical pencil? Check. And then the final thing that Twilight picked up on her outing today. A map of Ponyville. Seriously? Why haven’t I thought of picking something like this up? As far as I know, this is going to be my home for the next year!

I look over the easy folding laminated map laying out on the floor.

“Twilight must think I’m, ‘special n-’” I’m not going to even finish that thought. By all fucking definitions I am a special needs pony. “One. You can’t use your hooves like the other ponies, I mean for cripes sake! You’re stepping on the map to look at it! And two: It was -nice- of Twilight to mark out a route to Carousel Boutique! You don’t know Ponyville as well as you think you do!” That’s when I hear footsteps behind me. Looking back, it’s exactly who I expect it to be.

“Shouldn’t you be out of the door by now?” Spike asks me.

“It’s just a little after noon Spike and I don’t have to be there until one,” I reply picking my hooves off the map. Much to my disappointment, it doesn’t automatically fold upon itself. Spike walks over and folds the map up for me before sticking it in my bag.

“So? Rarity does like other ponies to be on time,” Spike says looking at me.

“Of course, when she’s late, it’s always fashionably so,” I reply absent mindedly.

Spike blinks at me. “I’m not sure whether or not that’s a joke.”

“I like to think that it’s my failed attempt at a joke, Spike,” I reply sighing.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to escort you there? I mean it wouldn’t be any real trouble and -” Spike begins as Twilight enters the room.

She too looks at the clock, looks at me and says “Shouldn’t you be out of-”

“I’m working on it!” I reply annoyed. I take a deep breath. “Right. I didn’t mean to shout, I’m...”

“Procrastinating?” Twilight asks me looking at the state of the library.

“Yeah. I have everything I need, but I’m pretty hesitant about this Twilight, even if I don’t have any real reason to be,” I reply giving a faux smile. “But the sooner I get there, the sooner I can start, ‘learning,’ from her and the sooner it can be over right?”

“You’ll do fine H.B.,” Twilight says putting a hoof on my shoulder. “Just relax, take one step at a time and try to get along with her. You’ll see that Rarity isn’t that bad of a pony.”

“That’s not what I am afraid of,” I mutter.

“Huh?”

“Nothing Twilight. Spike you mind getting the door for me?”

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to come?” Spike asks opening the door.

“She’ll be fine Spike,” Twilight begins as I walk out the door. “Besides,” she swings a bucket and mop over to him. “I want your help in cleaning this place up! How did those foals get a juice box up-”

The door closes behind me and I take a deep breath of the fresh air of Ponyville. “Alright H.B., it’s not too hard to get from here to there.” I think to myself as I start walking. “Just take a right here. Go towards Sugar Cube corner, turn left, go three houses and take a right. From there I should be able to see Rarity’s...”

As I walk I look around at the various houses and places around here. They look pretty much like they did on the show. Only not vectorized. Lots of bright and shiny colours. There are various ponies that I recognize off the bat, general background ponies whose faces and marks I recognize, but were never given any names.

As I am walking I once again am reminded about why I don’t come out during the day.

Sunlight. Fuck that thing is bright. Seriously, I have gotten used to a, ‘normal,’ sleep cycle once again, but the massive glowing ball in the sky continues to hurt my eyes. Still, it kinda feels good on my skin...fur...whatever.

It doesn’t take me long to find Sugar Cube Corner, I mean all I have to do is follow the aroma of cooking cakes, cookies, and that overall warm sweet aroma that I didn’t get to enjoy much last time I was here.

Moving flour for the cakes was...difficult. It started out easy enough, but the amount of flour that they wanted moved? Ugh. Stupid pony body. I might be an earth pony now, but fuck! I am just not that strong when it comes to lifting and carrying, I guess I could work out. Though that just seems so boring.

And it really didn’t help that Pinkie Pie insisted on talking a mile a minute about random things that had nothing to do with the job! I know she’s Pinkie Pie, but good grief! Nothing but nonstop talking!

As I pass Sugar Cube, the memory of what transpired there passes through my mind.

~“Soooo! I was wondering and thinking about what you told me to think and wonder about! You know, when you told me to think about a month that would be the best month for me to teach you and had the best party of all the parties?! Well, after thinking and wondering about it for a little bit after you left, I totally came up with the idea for the perfect month to teach you that had the best party of all parties in it!”

“Uhm, yeah...Pinkie, making it really hard to concentrate here,” I replied trying to balance the bags of flour on my back.

“Buuuuut, I just have to know one thing first!” Pinkie said bouncing at my side.

“And what’s that?”

Pinkie jumped up in my face. “What do you think of Princess Luna?!”~

What happened next almost could have been choreographed. I jump in surprise at what she said, which caused the bags to slip off my back, spring off an improbably placed board and flung at the door of Sugar Cube Corner just as Mr. Cake was walking out the door. The end result was pretty expected. Ghost white pony in the doorway while his foals laugh and giggle.

I quickly walk passed Sugar Cube, no reason accidentally walk into either of the Cakes or even -

“HI H.B.!!” I put a hoof up to block the sun out of my eyes and there’s Pinkie Pie smiling and waving from her little cupcake shaped apartment.

“Crap! What do I do!?” Blinking, I realize that the answer is pretty simple. Just wave back. Seriously, why I am I making a big deal about this? I look at my hoof awkwardly and put on a halfway decent smile as I wave back. “Hi Pinkie!” I really hope she can hear me from here.

“How are you doing!?” She shouts at me.

“I’m fine!”

She blinks at me in confusion. “You’re pine?”

“No Pinkie! I’m fine!” I reply raising my voice.

“Oh! Okay! What are you doing?” She shouts leaning out her window.

Suddenly I am aware of how many of the other ponies around me are starting to take note. “I’m going to-” My eyes dart back and forth at them as they give me strange looks. “Rarity’s shop!”

“Bailey’s Hop?!” Pinkie blinks and then frowns at me like a stern parent would. “Do I need to tell Twilight that you’re trying to drink?!”

“No! Rarity’s Shop!” I shout. Fuck the ponies around me are starting to stare at this spectacle. I know what easy answer to this problem would be. Go up there or ask her to come down here and just tell her. But I really don’t want to deal with Pinkie Pie today. Well, I don’t want to deal with her face to face, up close and personal.

“Harrity’s Bop!? Who’s that? And what’s a bop!?” Pinkie asks, her confusion compounding.

“No!” I shout looking around. I can see that tip of Carousel Boutique from here. I desperately point at it.

Pinkie looks up, blinks a few times and finally rolls her eyes. “Oooooooh! Rarity’s Shop! Why didn’t you say so?” I involuntarily apply my hoof to my face. Pinkie looks behind her. “Oh! Okie dokie lokie! I’ve got to go now H.B.! The Cakes need me for something! Have fun at Rarity’s!” The other ponies are looking at me.

“Uhm, yeah... I’ll try!” Great, this is going to give some random pony something to talk about. “Let them talk. If they are really interested in the truth of the matter, they’ll ask me what that was all about or they’ll just assume that it was Pinkie being Pinkie.” I start to trot a little. “So, just move along, H.B. After all you’ve stayed in the worst two nations in all of Equestria. ‘Stag-Nation’ and ‘Procrasti-nation’ long enough.”

Author's Note

This chapter might be fluffy, but it's H.B.'s first real time out and without escort. Plus I have been also working on stories yet to come... As Elton Brown said 'Your patience will be rewarded..."

A Dressing Problems

Chapter 12

A Dressing Problems.

The sounds of a pencil busily scratching on a piece of paper could be heard from down the hallway as Rarity came back from talking with the driver. Quietly, she peered back into the room. Heartbreak was still there, only now she had moved her sitting pillow more in front of the mirror and bobbing her head up and down. Here eyes were darting from the paper to the mirror and back again.

Rarity giggled to herself. The focused face of determination of an artist was a wonder to behold. The subtle lines of delight at something going right, the furrows of frustration when things went wrong, and the joy of actually accomplishing something. Heartbreak paused and looked at her reflection in the mirror again. There was one of those furrows of frustration.

Rarity suddenly felt a bit ill as she watched Heartbreak lift her hoof up. There, in that hole she had drilled, was a pencil of sorts. Rarity couldn’t believe that somepony would willingly do that to themselves! A hoof wasn’t just something that a pony did that to!

“Hooves are your livelihood! The state of your hooves reflect how much you care about yourself and others! And the way that it looks just jammed in at an angle like that...How can she stand it?!” Rarity peered at the drawing the best she could from the hallway. Despite how odd it looked, she had to admit that Heartbreak was doing a pretty decent job drawing. “Especially, since according to Twilight, she’s had the one thing that let her express herself taken away! Why, when Discord took my horn away-”

“Are you going to come into the room or continue to stand there, staring?”

“Eek!” Rarity jumped in surprise as Heartbreak posed her question.

She glanced over from her drawing spot. “I guess there is some advantage to having a wider field of vision. Being more aware of when others are watching you...”

Rarity walked into the room. “I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, it’s just-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Rarity. You have a p-p-pony with a mechanical pencil embedded into her hoof, laying in your...” She looked around for a moment. “Sewing room? With the design of this place, I haven’t a clue where the living room is.”

“My beautique doesn’t have a living room, darling,” she explained. “There’s a kitchen in back, an office and study area. Upstairs is my bedroom and bathroom areas. And then there is the attic on the third floor for storage.”
Heartbreak nodded and muttered a mm-hmm before frowning at her drawing. She lifted her hoof up again and tapped the top. The mechanical pencil seemed to spring to life with a whirring sound, the tip of it pulled in and then was replaced with a white nubby thing. Rarity cocked her head. “Did...did...”

“My eraser,” Heartbreak said, lightly brushing the eraser on the paper. “Having this thing be a multitasker was the smartest thing I thought of when I was...out of it. In retrospect, the dumbest thing of course was drilling the hole in my hoof.” She shook her head. She tapped the top of the pencil, and it turned back into a pencil. Rarity looked over the rough sketch as Heartbreak blew away her eraser crumbs. “Uhm...fet...I didn’t mean to make a mess, I’ll clean-”

Rarity fought the urge to make a deal about it. “Don’t think anything about it, darling!” She said waving a hoof and picking them up in a glow of her magic. She peered over Heartbreak’s shoulder trying to get a view at what she was drawing.

“You know,” Heartbreak said pausing her drawing. “For a pony who was just talking about manners-”

Rarity pulled back. “I wasn’t interrupting your concentration was I?” She asked apologetically.

Heartbreak shook her head. “No, just kind of invading my space, that’s all.” She blinked. “No offense.”

“Uhm, none taken,” Rarity replied. “But, if you don’t mind me asking, what is it that you’re drawing?”

“I don’t mind,” she focused on the mirror and then started to make faces at it. “I’m practicing drawing myself...again. It was hard enough to do self-portraits before all this.”

Rarity looked over Heartbreak’s shoulder again. Some of the lines looked a bit crude and the proportions were a bit off. She lifted a hoof and bit her lip. “I so want to correct a few things! But an artist’s work is a part of their soul! Part of their being! Part of-”

“Dangnabit,” Heartbreak said glaring at the paper. “Rarity?”

Rarity backed away. “You want me to give you some space?”

“No, can you help me? Something about this just doesn’t look right and I could really use an artproofer here,” she replied looking up.

==============================================================

Rarity looks at me completely confused, and I can’t blame her. I mean after yesterday’s bit of, ‘whining’ at each other and the way I usually am, well, I would be confused too.

I’m going to put it on an account of me drawing. Everything seems...well, not all together better, but a little more ok when I am drawing, writing, telling a story or maybe even reading. It takes my mind and keeps it focused on something else rather than my usual angst fests. I sorta forget that I have hooves for a moment.

Well, just for a moment. I think I like drawing and writing better than telling a story or reading to others. The sound of, ‘my,’ voice really irritates me. Heh, and I’m sure it really irritates Mi too.

Rarity is still looking at me with that rather overly emotional expression. “You want moi to assist you?”

Ugh, that face is making feel all sorts of weirdness. “If you wouldn’t mind. I used to have an artproofer that would go over my lines to make sure things looked neat and clean. She did some inking for some of my sketches too.”

Rarity flips her mane and prances a bit. “I would love to!”

“Just as long as you calm down a bit. Geez.” I roll my eyes.

“Right, so...” She picks up my sketchbook and looks it over. “Can I use your pencil or should I use my own?”

I look at the mechanical pencil in my hoof nervously. “Uhm, if you wouldn’t mind, please use your own.”

==============================================================

Rarity and I have been going back and forth on a simple drawing for a while now. I smack my lips and eye the clock. Holy shit! Forty-Five minutes?!

Well... At least it was forty-five minutes well spent. And not even a single mention of any terribly girly topics. Nothing that I was afraid of at all! Things seem to have gone better than I expected here.

“So, as long as you keep-” Rarity begins.

“I know, practicing, I am sure to get better.” Crap, is that a smile coming from my face? Do I stop in fear of it getting weird or keep going? “I almost always asked if others drew, if they had somewhere where they kept their artwork, if I could look and then would encourage them to keep drawing...even if they thought that their work sucked.”

Rarity gives me a sympathetic smile. “Self-criticism is the bane of any artist’s existence.” Her eyes light up. “Speaking of looking at others artwork...” She pulls out a few sheets of paper off the shelf. “I was wondering if you could take a look at some of mine.”

I grimace a little. Most likely these are going to be drawings of dresses. And seriously, I know jack shit about style. All I know is how to draw what I see or what I can imagine. I don’t care if the fabrics fold and look all pretty, just that it looks good. Then again, she’s spent three-quarters of an hour with my sulky-butt without much complaint. That’s got to count for something right? Besides, I haven’t looked at someone else’s artwork in forever. Well, forever in internet terms. I’m used to looking at artwork non-stop, where a click of a mouse can take me to anyone’s gallery. A little something fresh would be nice. “Sure, why not? I mean it’s sure to be something interesting.” The papers float in front of me. “So, what do we have h-”

I am cut off in mid sentence. And I can feel my left eye starting to twitch. Fuck, I need to fight that urge off really badly now. Really, really badly. What could be so horrible that I need to bite my tongue?

Dresses.

Alright, so dresses aren’t bad to look at. I was expecting dresses! Fuck, there are dresses all around me on the pony mannequins! But what is sending me into some twitches is the fact that there is a certain pony drawn in these dresses.

“Now, as you can see, I’ve been taking some inspiration from a great number of different places. But I decided to go with four different dresses for a variety of occasions. A casual dress, a formal dress, a full on gown and finally...” She looks around and gives me a rather sly looking grin. “An experimental, risqué-outfit.” I think my mouth is open and I’m not fighting the twitching of my eye. “Well! What do you think? Be honest now!” I continue to hold my mouth open and try to process words out of it. She looks at me a bit nervously. “Is there something wrong darling?”

“Huh? Oh! Right...What do I think about them.” I nod my head slowly. “They are very... interesting. Uhm. Yeah, interesting...nice...designs.”

Her eyes go sad. “Is there something wrong?”

“Uhm..”

“Are the colours off?” She asks.

“No, I think the colours are... nice.” Aaaaand I’ve turned into Fluttershy again.

“Is the risqué one too much? I will admit that it is one of the very few that I have ever done.”

I squeak something out and then facehoof. “Alright. Being. Honest.” I don’t look at her while I try to explain what I need to explain. “Alright, don’t get me wrong, Rarity. These are very nicely designed dresses and all.”

“Buuuut...?” She says her tone turning worried.

“But normally you don’t do your drawings in colour do you?” I ask.

“Well, not normally, but there were details that I wanted to get out, and colour was the only way that I could really make this whole thing pop!” She replies.

“Right, so then, I have one question, if I may ask. And please don’t take offense to it or feel like I am trying to hurt your feelings here.”

She looks at me with begging eyes and her head tilted forward. “H.B., you let me into a most intimate realm of yours and allowed me to assist you with your artistic skills, I doubt that there could be anything you could say that would offend me or hurt my feelings.”

“Don’t be so sure about that,” I think to myself. “Right. It isn’t the dresses themselves. You did a..uhm...wonderful job designing them. It’s the p-p-pony in question that you drew wearing them.”
She blinks. “Oh? You noticed that?” She asks smiling.

“Yes. Yes I did.” Fuck, how do I put this delicately? After all, I did promise Twilight and Spike I would try to get along with her. “Why does she have a brown mane, blue eyes, and a tan coat?”

“Well, isn’t obvious?”

Please don’t say what I think you are going to say, Rarity. Please, please, please, please don’t say-

“I had a wonderful idea of trying to design a dress for you!” She replies gleefully.

Fuck.

Making Things Modiste

Chapter 13

Making Things Modiste

Heartbreak looked at Rarity in stunned silence.

Rarity waited for a moment and then looked at her confused. “You...don’t seem as excited as I thought you would be, darling. Is there something else troubling you about the dresses?”

Heartbreak closed her eyes tightly and then bit her lower lip raising a hoof. She gasped and then finally took a deep breath. “Right. I wondered if this would be a problem or not.”

Rarity blinked and shook her head. “H.B., Darling, I’m confused. What did you think would be a problem?”

“Right, you’re going to have to excuse me for a second. I started in the middle of a thought.” She gingerly pushed the floating papers away from her. “You see Rarity, and this is nothing against you, after all: Dresses are what you do, they are your thing. It’s just dresses aren’t my thing.”

“Why didn’t you say so, darling?” Rarity asked giggling slightly. “If you’re worried about not knowing anything about design, I can gladly, ‘show you the ropes.’ We can even make all of them and you can try them on to see how they really look!”

Heartbreak looked horrified and then shook her head. “Right, maybe I should have explained myself better here.” She took a deep breath. “And you’re going to have to forgive me if I am blunt or a little offensive here. But,” She looked at the white unicorn in her azure eyes. “I don’t do dresses. Meaning that I don’t like them. I don’t wear them. At all.”

Rarity’s face broke a little and her lower lip quivered. “You...don’t like dresses?”

Heartbreak nodded slowly. “That’s not to say that these dresses aren’t well designed. You worked hard on them, you took time out of your very busy work schedule and actually designed something for me that you thought I would like. They are what I would expect from you, after all, you are the best dressmaker, er fashionista in Ponyville, n-n-n-neigh! In all of Equestria. It’s just...” She put a hoof on Rarity’s as to make her message as clear as possible. “I don’t wear dresses. Okay?”

Rarity bit her tongue. All that time and effort and energy, and she didn’t wear dresses?! What kind of mare didn’t wear dresses?! “If it’s a matter of money-” she began.

Heartbreak looked like she was fighting something back. “It’s not a matter of money,” she said in a calm voice. “It’s just, that I never liked dresses, and my mother never forced me to wear one. And I don’t see any reason to start wearing one. So,” she pulled her hoof back. “Thank you for the thought, thank you for the offer, but no thank you.”

Rarity sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want me to make just one?”

Heartbreak rubbed her forehead. “I am very sure. Look, if you want to make these for somep-p-pony else? I mean I’m sure there are a few out there that would very much enjoy these dresses!” She looked a little questioning at the last, ‘dress.’ “Even your risque one.”

Rarity frowned and looked disappointed. “I-I’ve never had anypony turn down one of my dresses before.”

Heartbreak sighed. “Look, Rarity, I actually enjoyed your artistic critique of my drawing style and you’ve been really helpful-”

“But H.B.! I want to give you something!” Rarity burst out. “After all, you’ve had so much taken from you!”

Heartbreak scooted back a bit. “It’s alright, Rarity. Really it is.”

“No it isn’t! I know that you keep saying that, but really, darling!” She put a hoof on Heartbreak’s shoulder. “It can’t be, not after what I remember hearing at the door.”

Heartbreak looked a little frightened. “W-what do you mean?”

Rarity looked at her sad, sympathetic eyes. “The night when you arrived...” her voice lowering to a whisper. “I heard whoever she was on the other side telling you...goodbye.”

==============================================================

My eyes go wide before I looked down at the floor. “Oh.” “Great. Just great.” It’s bad enough I had to go through it, I personally didn’t want any of the others to have to hear any of that.

“Uhm, if you want to talk about what hap-” Rarity begins.

“No, Rarity,” I reply with dark sadness. “Like I said before, I was surprised by the fact that I did enjoy myself. We don’t need to...spoil it by bringing in my depressing and traumatic moments.” Fuck, my nose is getting all sniffly. “Though, I would like to apologize for what happened that night between us.”

Rarity attempts a casual laugh. “Well, after what happened, it’s perfectly understandable.”

I give her a questioning look. “Rarity, I smacked my head against yours and nearly stomped you under my hooves. Where I’m from? Those would be grounds for assault and battery. And seeing that I am not currently locked away in some jail cell, I’m going to just assume that you didn’t press charges. So please, allow me to apologize for it.”

“If you insist. But I still feel the need to make you something, or give you something,” Rarity replies.

“Ffffffine.” She’s not going to stop until she’s given me at least one thing. I look back at the clock. Almost two o’clock and I am starting to feel groggy. “If you feel the need to make me something... How about some tea? I’m pretty thirsty and I could use something to keep me awake.”

Rarity smiles and quickly walks to the kitchen. “Coming right up!”

Whew, dodged an awkward and rather unpleasant situation there! My eyes dart to the box. I nudge a small tag attached to the ribbon with my hoof to see who it is from. My eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Oh! High Hat!” I nuzzle the little card to the other side. It’s kinda difficult to do with flat hooves, but hey! I have my mechanical pencil! “‘Thank you for giving me the creativity to inspire me to move on. In return, here is a simple hat.’” “Huh. Cool. Free hat,” I snicker. “Again.”

I can hear Rarity’s hoof steps...hoof beats? Whatever hoof sounds are called! Fuck I need some fucking tea.

“I don’t know what tea you like, so I made what I had. Jasmine with a bit of honeeeeey!” She gasps behind me and I can hear the teacup clatter.

I turn my head back and look at her shocked expression. “What? Did you see a mouse or something?”

Her eyes dart to and fro and she removes her hoof from her mouth to show a very hard blush along with a rather silly smile. “Uhm, no darling,” she replies walking over to me. “Tell me, this is just a bit of curiosity about your former species...”

“You know what they say about curiosity and cats. Speaking of which, where is Opal? I would hate to think that she is locked upstairs because of me,” I reply trying to steer the conversation away from, ‘home,’ as it were.

“Well, good thing I am a pony, Darling. Opal is with Fluttershy, so you need not worry.” She flips her mane and sets the tea down next to me. I push my sketchbook aside. No need to repeat it getting soaked all over again. “But I was just wondering, and I could be wrong about this, but does your former species wear any sorts of clothing at all?”

I ponder the wording of this question. I seems to have some sort of meaning that I’m just not getting. I look at her, puzzled. “Rarity, no offense, but for me to know that I don’t like dresses, I would need to know what one was and-”

“I’m just asking a question,” Rarity says in a pouty manner.

“Yes, but...why are you asking this question?”

Rarity’s eyebrows raise and she looks back and forth again. That blush returning to her face. “Well, I’m not sure if you know this or not, it’s just that, well you see, darling...”

I want to take a sip of my tea but Rarity’s dancing around the issue makes it so that I don’t want to ask until she has fully explained!

“You see, it’s just that, when I was walking back from the kitchen-” What the hell has gotten her so flustered?! Damn it! I want my tea!

“Rarity!” I shout. “Right, I don’t mean to be rude, or sound angry, but could you just ask the fetting question!”

She frowns. “There’s no need for swearing, H.B. And I would kindly ask that you not do so.”

I take a deep breath. Fuck, all this build up better pay off for something! “Right, I didn’t mean to, it’s just that you’re tapdancing around what you want to talk about more so than I do around subjects that I just want to avoid. So.” I look at her directly. “Ask your question already, why don’t you?”

“Alright, if you’re going to be that way about it.” She clears her throat. “Do you realize that you aren’t modest?”

I blink hard. “Huh?”

“You aren’t modest. You aren’t wearing anything, darling,” She says curtly.

I shake my head and blink harder. Either I am really dense or just plain stupid. “Rarity, I know you make clothing and almost go nowhere without wearing at least something, but-” I bite my tongue with the sarcastic quip of, ‘news flash,’ “-ponies don’t normally wear clothing.”

Rarity rolls her eyes. “I know that, darling. But-” She looks in the general direction of my tail. “-you aren’t wearing anything.”

Alright, I am getting really sick of this guessing game that she is playing. “What?! Rarity, I don’t have a fff-,” I take a deep breath to fight the urge to, ‘swear.’ “Flipping clue what you’re talking about.”

“Right, you aren’t wearing anything to cover up your...” She lifts a hoof up to her mouth and coughs. “More private areas.”

I try to process what she just said. “Wait...What?”

She finally gives me a direct look to the eyes. She looks like she’s trying to explain this as simply as she can. “Darling, you aren’t wearing any overwear.”

I look at my flank and then back at her. “What’s, ‘overwear?’”

She jumps a little at the question and replies with a silly, almost embarrassed smirk. “You don’t know what overwear is?”

“No!” I snort. “And my tea is getting cold because of it!”

“No need to get upset, darling.” She lifts up a hoof. “Overwear is what ponies wear to cover up their intimate areas.”

I can feel my face twitch as I realize what she is actually saying. Fuck, I feel like such a nitwit for not getting it. But it’s boggling my mind so much that maybe I was just refusing to get it.

“Wait,” I look at her directly. “Ponies wear underwear?”

==============================================================

Rarity had a look of astonishment on her face. “Let me see if I understand this correctly. You know practically everything about Equestria, its inhabitants, even moments of our lives...”

“Yes...”

“But you don’t know about overwear?” Rarity asked.

“Where I am from we call it, ‘underwear,’ because it is worn, ‘under,’ your regular clothes. They are also called,” she started to cough and look nervous. “Intimates, delicates, and, uhm, p-p-panties,” Heartbreak explained taking on a hard blush.

“There’s no reason to get embarrassed, darling!” Rarity said. “It’s just overwear, everypony wears them. Even I wear them.”

Heartbreak reluctantly found herself peering at Rarity’s flank. She looked confused and shook her head. “But I don’t see anything, no fabric lines, no change in...anything...”

Rarity smirked. A good part of her was perhaps taking more amusement in this than it should. “That’s the whole point darling! To remain invisible but give you cover up where it matters most!”

The confused, conflicted and astonished look seemed permanently plastered to Heartbreak’s face. “And you ponies didn’t tell me about this...because?!”

Rarity blinked and frowned a bit. “Well, for one, you didn’t ask. Which is understandable seeing that you had no idea that they even existed...Then there is the fact that you barely leave the library and you hold your tail so close to your self that most likely nopony even noticed!”

Heartbreak’s left eye was now in a state of constant twitch. “Alright, all valid points, but how the hay does... it... work?” She asked pausing on each word fearfully.

“Magic, of course!” Rarity explained.

Heartbreak face hoofed. “Ponies wear...magic underwear.”

Rarity gave Heartbreak a bright smile. There was something a little fun about this. She wasn’t sure if it was her lack of knowledge about this subject or the fact that Heartbreak had been continuously blushing the entire time in this explanation. “Yes.” With a glow of her horn she tugged on the white line of her own pair of overwear. “See?”

Heartbreak gackled and squirmed looking at what she saw. “Stooooop it! I believe you! Geeez!”

Rarity fought off a giggle as she prepared her next question. “Would you like me to make you a pair?”

Heartbreak’s entire face was now a harsh blush. Her eyes darted back and forth frantically. “YES! NO! MAYBE! I DON’T KNOW! CAN YOU REPEAT YOUR QUESTION!? I....” she covered her face with her left hoof. “I don’t know about having something that weird that close to my body!”

Rarity put a sympathetic hoof on the utterly embarrassed pony. “Part of the magic used in the overwear is that you don’t even notice or even feel that they are there.”

Heartbreak’s face scrunched up. “So, they’re deus ex machina underwear.”

“Would you like me to make you a pair? After all darling, if you are wearing some coverup, you’re less likely to get odd looks from strange ponies,” Rarity explained.

Heartbreak’s left hoof uncovered her face and she stared at the floor. Her eyes finally darted at Rarity. “And it won’t feel like I’m wearing anything?”

Rarity lifted a fabric measuring tape. “You have my word.”

==============================================================

After Rarity took her ...measurements, she set out to work. Leaving me to gripe about how she could have been a little less precise with her...ugh measuring. She claimed that she had to be that close to ensure a good fit.

I felt like retching and slightly violated on some level. And by slightly I mean something else. But meh. Anything to make it so that some random pony that I don’t know, don’t have any interest in, doesn’t just randomly walk up to me and eluding to wanting to do things that I don’t want to think about.

Fuck, stop thinking about this crap. Focus more on drawing and drinking your exquisite tea. That’s another good thing about Rarity that I can chalk up in my mental scoreboard. Anything she gets is the highest quality.

After about ten more minutes and a few drawings later, she comes back into the room, horn aglow and with a pair of what could be called, ‘pony underwear.’ I swallow hard and cough. All this fuss over a simple scrap of cloth! A scrap of cloth that-SHUT UP. No thinking about that! Nope! Nein!

“All done! What do you think?” She asks showing them off to me. All I can manage to do is whimper while looking at the article of clothing floating in front of me. “Is there something wrong?”

“Are you sure I’m not going to feel them?” Fuck, stop it! You’re adding unnecessary fluff to this situation!

“As I said, they are designed not to be felt by the wearer. But do they look alright?” She continues to flutter them in my face.

“Stop that! I don’t know... I have never seen, ‘overwear,’ before and I don’t know what they are meant to look like!” I sigh taking out my pencil and standing up. “How about I put them on and we get this over with? Uhm, can you please help me with that?”

Rarity is most likely pleased with the fact that she has actually gotten me to wear something she has made, despite the fact that she has no idea how uncomfortable I feel about putting on pony-panties. She hovers the things near my backside. “Not at all, please lift one leg... And now the other.” I can sorta feel the things slip past my legs and then...

Nothing.

“All done!” She says gleefully.

“Wait? What? Really?” I look around and blink.

“Yes. And I must say that they look quite lovely on you!” Rarity replies.

“Uhm... despite them covering me up, please don’t look at my posterior. It unnerves me.”

“Oh yes, because of the mark. Please do forgive me.”

“Uhm... don’t think anything about it,” I reply absentmindedly. Yeeeeeah, the mark. I think I will let her keep believing that is the reason. I do a quick walk around in a circle. “Wow, seriously. It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all!”

“Uhm...yes, that’s the whole purpose of-”

I pause and shift my flank back and forth. “Nothing at all.” I trot back and forth across the room. “Nothing at all!” Rarity kinda gives me a funny look. I realize how fucking ridiculous I must be looking. “Right!”

“I take it then that you approve?” She asks me.

“Very much so, Rarity. Thank you.” Alright, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. They even seem to cover up any other parts of myself that, once again, I wouldn’t like to think about. I give myself one last look in the mirror.

Rarity comes up next to me. “Now,” She flicks my mane a bit. “If we could only do something about the rest of you.”

Applying a Foundation

Chapter 14

Applying a Foundation

Heartbreak looked freaked out. “The rest of me? Rarity, I’ll have you know that I actually let Twilight brush my mane and tail before I got here!”

“That might be so, but Twilight is an amateur when it comes to the art of the, ‘Makeover.’” Rarity gave Heartbreak a hungry look as a hoard of things started to float towards the two of them. A brush, a makeup kit, a curling iron, file and what Heartbreak realized must be a bottle of hoof polish. “I on the other hoof am an absolute master at it!”

“Aaaand I’m going to have to say, ‘No,’ Rarity,” Heartbreak replied giving a disconcerted look at the floating cloud of beautifying products and sliding away from Rarity.

“B-but darling! If you’re going to go out in public-” Rarity paused on her words, “-you simply must look your best!” She opened a jar of makeup that had a small powder puff brush for application.

“I look just fine,” Heartbreak replied putting her hoof up in a defensive manner.

“But darling--” Rarity began.

“Please stop going, ‘but darling,’” Heartbreak asked as neutrally as she could. “I look just fine.”

Rarity pouted. “But you could look better. And if you look better, than others will see you better.”

“Looks aren’t the most important thing in the world, Rarity,” Heartbreak replied pushing away all the floating things.

“But...” Rarity frowned and stopped herself from saying, ‘darling.’ “But if you look nicer, and other ponies see you nicer, than you’re sure to feel better about yourself!”

Heartbreak began to swat at the things around her. “I said, ‘thank you, but no thank you, Rarity.’ I look just fine!”

Rarity’s beautifying cloud seemed to wilt. “No you do not! You look just terrible!”

“And what about me looks terrible, Rarity?” Heartbreak replied crossing her hooves over her chest.

“Well for starters, your mane and tail has a natural wave to them, that, if accented would go from just, ‘fine,’ to fabulous! There are bags under your eyes that can be fixed with just a little touch up. Your fetlocks are starting to get long and need a bit of a trim: If you don’t care for those, they’ll get matted and ugly!” Rarity lifted up Heartbreak’s hoof. “And the roots of your hooves are starting to show! They need a fresh coat!”

Heartbreak pulled back. “My mane and tail are just fine the way they are. A simple brushing is all they need. The bags under my eyes are due to lack of sleep because of the nightmares I generally have. These fetlocks are fine just the way they are, it’s one more thing that I will have to brush. And as far as my hooves go--” she paused in her ranting. “Wait, what? Roots?”

“Yes, darling. Hooves grow after all. And if you let them grow too long without proper care, they’ll turn a different colour than your coat!” Rarity lifted the fine hairs between the hoof and leg on Heartbreak’s right front leg. There shone a thin line of cream against her tan coat at the top of the hoof. “And you can’t have that! It’s a good thing that I caught it early otherwise you would have had to paint the whole thing!”

“Huh.” She stared at the little line with a bit of morbid fascination. She put her hoof out. “Would ya look at that...”

Rarity smiled and opened a bottle of hoof polish. “Alright then, your coat is a standard tan colour, and I just so happen to have a bottle of that one of my customers left here by mistake!”

Heartbreak’s nose crinkled at the smell of the hoof polish. “Gah! Different world, same horrible smell! Why couldn’t they make it smell like lilacs or something nice?” She pulled her hoof back away from Rarity. “Bleh! I can even taste it!”

“Darling, if you don’t put your hoof out, then I can’t paint it,” Rarity explained, fluttering her eyes.

Heartbreak looked at the hoof polish and then at her hoof. “No thank you, Rarity. I like my hooves the way they are.”

Rarity attempted to grab Heartbreak’s hoof with her magic. “Trust me! You’ll feel much better after-”

“And. I. Said. No!” Heartbreak shouted pulling her hoof down with a sudden burst of strength.

Rarity jumped back in surprise and frowned. “I’m just trying to help you!”

Heartbreak took a long deep breath trying to regain any composure. “And you have helped me with things that I wanted help with, Rarity. I don’t need any help with the way I look.”

“And I beg to differ about that! Really! How do you expect to get anywhere by looking like you just crawled out of bed!” Rarity exclaimed losing her patience.

Heartbreak frowned. “You know what? I think we managed the whole, ‘getting to know you,’ exercise for today. I think we should do more tomorrow maybe.”

Rarity blinked. “Wait? What? But darling, we barely spent any time together!”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and sucked down the last bit of tea in her cup. “I think we spent plenty of time together, Rarity. I mean, we don’t have to do all this in a single shot. And...” She closed her sketchbook. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

Rarity looked worried. “But... I don’t understand.”

Heartbreak drooped her head and rolled her eyes. “Another thing I don’t, ‘do,’ is makeovers. I don’t like them.”

Rarity looked a bit shocked. “Bwah? Good heavens! Why not?” She asked as Heartbreak started to gather her things. “There’s nothing more fun than a good makeover!”

==============================================================

I shudder as I open my saddlebag and placed the sketchbook within. A soured frown darkens my face. Ugh, my excuse of, ‘my mother never forced me to,’ isn’t going to work here. And Rarity is desperately grasping at straws over this.

I get that she wants to bond. I get that she wants to succeed in her teaching. But I am not going to get a fucking makeover. It’s too ...weird, it’s too much, and it’s not something that I want to get, damn it. Some would say that I should get over myself and accept being a mare and that this is what mares do. They get makeovers, they wear dresses. And you know what I have to say to that?!

Fuck off. Why should I!? Why should I have to conform to the standard stereotypes!? Fuck, I’ve already been over this in my head before! I don’t need to go over it again!

As I look up in the mirror, another reason why I don’t want a makeover pops into my head. A good reason. One that this crazy fashion obsessed unicorn might accept.

“Rarity. Look in the mirror, what do you see?” I ask.

Rarity looks in the mirror and in what could be called a ‘Rarity’ moment, she pauses to look at herself. She blinks and realizes that I am pointing at myself and not the mirror. She takes a deep breath. “I see a pony who is in dire need of a makeover, some sprucing up and a nice long trip to the spa?” She asks in an innocent, pleading manner. My left eye twitches at the mention of the word, ‘spa.’

She pauses and disappointment sets in. “Let me guess, you don’t, ‘do,’ spas either?”

“No. No I don’t do spas either. But that is completely beside the point.” I take a deep breath. “When you look at me you see a pony. A messy maybe ill groomed pony, but a pony nevertheless. You know what I see when I look in the mirror?”

She gives me a puzzled look. “The same thing?”

“No. I see a stranger. I see a being who has been altered and twisted and given what some could consider to be the ultimate makeover! A complete overhaul of everything I was, down to my very name! And then you come along and tell me that I need to be changed further. That I’m not good enough the way I am,” I feel a crack in my voice as I explain this. Fuck, the explanation is even getting to me. “I know you’re not trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but how do you think that makes me feel?”

Rarity looks dismayed and nearly on the verge of tears. “I just wanted to show you a bit of generosity...”

I sigh. Fuuuuck. “Look, Rarity, you did. It was very nice of you to help me with my drawings and getting me some tea,” I reply picking up my mechanical pencil.

“But... but...” Rarity looks to and fro. Great, I have the feeling that she isn’t going to just let me leave. How the hell did, ‘getting to know you,’ become this weird game of, ‘I want to try to dress you up?’ Fuck, why is it turning into said weird game?! “Your package!”

I give her a dead panned look. “What about it?” She pushes the box up to my face in a glow of magic.

“Don’t you want to open it and find out what it is?” She asks shaking it a little.

“I know what it is, Rarity.” I put the pencil in my saddlebag. “It’s from High Hat, therefore it’s a hat.”

“Wouldn’t you like to try it on?” She asks me fluttering her eyes. “Please, please, pleeeeeeeease?”

Son of a bitch. Rarity isn’t going to let me leave her little shop until she gets me to try at least something, other than the overwear, on. Even if that something wasn't made by her! I sigh. “Fine! I guess it’s better than carrying the box in my mouth the way back to the library.”

Rarity practically squeals in delight. Seriously, what’s up with this? She pulls off the ribbon and removes the top. “Oh I bet it’s some elegant fop, or a pretty sun hat or-” She stops mid sentence, a horrified look painted on her face. She pulls the hat out from the box.

“Or ...a green peaked military looking creation.”

==============================================================

Heartbreak looked at the hat that Rarity just pulled out of the box and fought the urge to smile a bit. She didn't know what possessed High Hat to even create such a thing, let alone send it to her.

And yet the look on Rarity's face as she fumbled the creation about was almost priceless. She bit her lower lip upon seeing her squirm at the military green hat with a gold medallion placed in the center.

“I love it,” she finally said.

Rarity fought the urge to look horrified. “Y-you do?”

“Yup, it’s a nice gift from a-” She paused, “decent individual who is well on their way to bigger and better things. Can you help me put it on?”

Rarity looked at the hat and then back at Heartbreak. “Seriously?” Heartbreak frowned. Rarity put on her best smile and whimpered slightly. “Alright then! But let’s make sure that your mane is up and proper for this!” She said pulling out the brush from the cloud.

Heartbreak backed away. “Rarity, it’s putting on a hat, not making sure Princess Cadence’s mane is ready for the Equestrian Games Inspector.”

Rarity found herself caught off guard by the comparison. “I-I-I know that, darling. I just don’t want you suffering from hatmane later on!”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She sighed and gave a glare at Rarity. “But. No. Makeovers.”

Rarity gave a nervous giggle. “Perish the thought, darling!” She replied passing the brush through the tangled mess of Heartbreak’s mane. “I-” She tugged it through as it got caught on a tangle.

“Ow, Rarity,” Heartbreak said in a neutral tone. Another tug brought more pain. “Ow! Rarity!”

“Hold still...” Rarity pulled through the tangle. “There! Another brush here, and perfect! How do you think it looks?”

Heartbreak didn’t look at her newly brushed mane. “It would look better with my new hat on it, Rarity.” Rarity sighed and placed the hat atop Heartbreak’s head. “Thank you.” She turned and looked in the mirror adjusting the hat slightly. “There. Perfect.” A smug smile curled its way over Heartbreak’s face. “What do you think, Rarity?”

Rarity coughed and gave a faux smile. “It looks lovely, darling,” She replied through her teeth.

“Thank you, Rarity. Now, I’m sure you have places to go and ponies to dress up, and a trip to the spa that you want to take,” Heartbreak said looking at Rarity cutely.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? A trip to the spa would do you wonders. You have my word!” Rarity said pleadingly.

Heartbreak struggled to put her saddlebags on. Rarity grimaced and then gave a bit of quick assistance. “Thank you, but no thank you, you’d be better off without me. Besides-” she tapped the bill of her hat. “-with this new hat? I’m feeling better already. See you again tomorrow?”

Rarity smiled and waved. “Of course! I look forward to it!” She said opening the door. As Heartbreak left she found herself wilting and leaning against the wall of her shop. “Be strong, Rarity. You can do this,” she sighed. “There’s nothing to worry about. If you can get along with the likes of Applejack and Rainbow Dash, then you can get along with Heartbreak.” She frowned. “Enough of this pity party! Heartbreak was right about one thing: a trip to the spa would do you good!”

Travel Plans

Chapter 16

Travel Plans

So here I am again at Rarity’s. The impact of the overall girly glitz of the place has faded due to seeing it before. It’s not as impressive, it’s not as imposing, but it still is making me nervous. I mull the morning’s events in my head as a way to avoid knocking on the door to let her know I’m here.

I get up and see that Twilight is studying her thick books. Spike makes me a breakfast of eggs, hashbrowns, toast and shredded greens that he assures isn’t grass. Which after a few nibbles, I sighed in relief. It’s more of a small salad, no grass here. I in turn, assure him and Twilight that things are going fine. After eating, using the bathroom, and attempting to pull up overwear but having minimal success, I reluctantly call out for Twilight to help after at least ten minutes of struggling.

Sigh. I swear the universe is purposely trying to humiliate me.

I go back to, ‘my,’ room, do some drawing, practice some more, ask for a juice and drink it down. I get prodded about going to Rarity’s and finally, after much eye rolling, set out the door after Twilight puts my hat on. Spike isn’t pleased about the hat. He’s sure that I’m wearing it out of spite. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Either way, it keeps the sun out of my eyes.

I walk down the streets of Ponyville and note the ponies as they go about their daily lives and attempt to get past Sugarcube Corner without Pinkie seeing me. I fail at my stealth roll, as the pink puffball is practically waiting for me with a surprise cupcake. I can’t complain about that. It’s a nice treat.

I tell her that I’m going to Rarity’s and she asks if I want company. That’s when Mrs. Cake calls out to her and takes the happy little ball of sunshine away. Not that I am complaining. Pinkie is Pinkie after all, and if she walked with me, she would be chattering non-stop. And I don’t need to be driven insane before dealing with Rarity again. Oh no, I’m saving today’s wonderful insanity for after I have to deal with Rarity! And after a short little walk here I am. Fuck. That didn’t eat up as much time as I thought it would.

Swallowing hard I lift a hoof to knock on the door. “Here we go again, Heartbreak meets Rarity, take two!” My hoof raps on the door. “Action!”

There is a short pause before I hear a musical, “Coooooooming!” through the door. The top part of the door opens up and Rarity peers through. “H.B!” she says putting emphasis on the, ‘B.’ Her eyes almost go right to my hat and a look of disapproval flutters across her face. “How are you doing today? Please, won’t you come in?”

“Pretty much the same as I was yesterday, Rarity,” I reply walking in. As I walk past, I notice that she does look a bit better. Her mane and tail look shinier, and both her fur and hooves are whiter. Even the blue of her cutie mark is more striking and defined. My eyes dart back to my own mark. Like I really want to even go there. “I see you took my advice and went to the spa.”

“Oh, yes,” She replies trying to hide a devious look her eyes. “And I must tell you that it was a delightful treat! They really know how to treat a pony!”

“Mmmhm,” I reply, looking around for the pillow that I used yesterday. Much to my surprise, it’s still in front of the mirror. Strange, I thought she would have put it away.

As she trots over, I unbuckle my saddle back and reach in to take out my art stuff. Bleh, I swear, these things still taste horrible. “I got the full treatment! And after that long horrible painstaking month? It felt really good to be pampered.”

“Mmmhm.” Great, I think I have turned into a teenager. Then again, I know what Rarity’s trying to do. Make this place seem really appealing. Treat me like a toddler in a highchair that’s refusing to eat their veggies. “Come on, H.B.! Look! Auntie Rarity likes them! Num Num Num! Open up! Here comes the airplane!” I roll my eyes as the image of me as a little filly and Rarity plays in my head. Little H.B. is sticking her tongue out and ends up splattering a green mess over Rarity’s face. I involuntarily smirk. “Darn it, H.B. She’s only mentioned the spa twice. That doesn’t mean that she’s trying to get you to go again.”

“Are you alright, darling?” She asks confused at my amusement. She covers her mouth. “Right, so sorry, I forgot you asked me not to call you, ‘Darling.’”

“I was laughing at an internal joke, Rarity. And I have no qualms with you calling me, ‘Darling.’ It’s just when you overuse it,” I reply, taking out my pencil. Alright, pencil goes in the hole! A tap of the top and a soft, ‘Zzzzt!’ sound. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the sickened expression on Rarity’s face. Alright, I’m taking too much delight in this.

“I even got a nice hoofacure, see?” She lifts a hoof up and shows me her hoof. It’s all clean, shiny and I can barely tell the line between the hair and hoof. And despite all that work that was put into it? All I can feel is this indifference about it.

“Yes, Rarity, that’s very nice,” I reply trying sound as neutral as possible. A few snide comments roll their way through my head. “Huh. Mind holding it up like that for a while?”

She smiles and assumes a pose. Tilting my head back and forth I attempt to draw what I see. Hooves seem like such simple things, with simple lines and the like but... usually the simpler something is? The easier it is to fuck up. Looking up, I can see a bit of mild disappointment waver across her face.

“You can put your hoof down now. Thank you, Rarity.”

“Anytime... H.B.” There is a small awkward silence between us. “You know, if you want, we can get it so that your hooves look like mine. They are simply divine!”

“Oh yes, and I would look just divine with marshmallow white hooves!” I mentally facepalm-facehoof... Whatever. “Alright, maybe she is trying to get you to go." Fuck, I really wish she would just drop it!

Sighing, I look her in the eyes. “Rarity, I thought I made it very clear yesterday that I don’t want to go to the spa. I don’t need to get, ‘prettied up,’ for anything, and even if I did,” I frown at the notion of being, ‘prettied up,’ “I would just give myself a brush over and clean myself up. Seriously, can’t we talk about something else?”

==============================================================

Rarity sighed and closed her eyes before looking indignant. “One doesn’t simply go to the spa just to get, ‘Prettied up,’ darling. There are many wonderful health benefits that come with going to such a place! After all the spa ponies are trained in health matters too. They can look for things, and even perhaps find things that might be of serious concern!”

Heartbreak sighed. “Why are you being so adamant about this, Rarity? I mean I get you’re about fashion and, I hate saying this, appearance... and I know we’ve only interacted like a total of, uhm,” she looked thoughtful. “Four times? But it feels like you’re really kind of pushing it.”

Rarity glared at Heartbreak and tossed her mane. “And just what is wrong with looking good, my dear? A lady should always try to look her best! Particularly if they are going to be doing some traveling.”

Heartbreak blinked. “Traveling?” Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah! You said that you had to do some traveling next week and Twilight told you to bring me with you. Well, uhm,” she looked at her side and gave a simple smile, “Have saddlebag, will travel?”

Rarity shook her head. “Does she care so little about her appearance?! What about her brushes, her-” She mentally composed herself. “She’s practically a pauper, Rarity. Aside from the things she has in Twilight’s bathroom, everything she currently owns must be in those two pouches. Alright, be tactful in your explanation.” “H.B., that might be alright and fine if this was for a vacation cruise. However, this trip is also for my business and I simply can’t have you looking like... well... that!”

“Rarity, I explained this already. I look fine. And it’s not like we’re going to Canterlot, right?” Heartbreak’s expression drooped and she looked worried. “We’re not going to Canterlot, right?”

Rarity bit her lip slightly. With Heartbreak’s extensive knowledge of Equestria’s inhabitants, she was bound to know about its cities. “If I tell her where we’re going, she’s going to have an opinion about the place and most likely going to stubbornly refuse to go, or worse yet, refuse to get prepared to look her finest. I mean, the auction isn’t any Gala by far, but still if I can get her to look better, then she could see that she truly would feel better!” “Oh, well, darling, maybe I'll tell you if you come looking your best!”

“Wait,” Heartbreak blinked in confusion. “You’ll only tell me where we’re going if we go to the spa?”

Rarity smiled and nodded. “That would be the jist of what I am saying, yes.”

Heartbreak frowned. “Well fet.”

Rarity smirked a bit. “I’ll go-”

“I guess I won’t know where we’re going till we get there then,” Heartbreak said smirking and trying to return to her drawing.

Rarity stopped in confusion. “Bwah?”

“I told you, Rarity, I’m not going to the spa.” She focused on her drawing and attempted to put more detail on a line.

“But... darling!” Rarity raised a hoof to her face. Heartbreak’s expression was unwavering. The unicorn took a
deep breath. “It’s almost like dealing with a combination of Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Sweetie Belle all at the same time! Stubborn, illogical and just difficult. You can do this, Rarity.”

“This is for my business, and how you look will reflect on me too! I mean, I don’t want to lose a thousand bits just because you didn’t comb your mane!”

Heartbreak’s only response was a frown and a snort.

“Alright, maybe that came off a little bit wrong,”

“You don’t say,” Heartbreak replied harshly.

“Alright, I’m not going to force you to go to the spa, but I really wish you would.”

“I look fine, Rarity,” Heartbreak repeated and frowned. “And I am pretty sure I can rule out Canterlot as I'm sure that the Princess doesn't want me anywhere -near- her.”

“Will the Princess be there? I’m sure I checked the guest list...No, she’s not going to attend this year.” “Still, it wouldn’t hurt for you to look your best...” Rarity's expression turned sad as she thought about those last words that Heartbreak heard from her world. “After what happened that night,” Rarity paused and looked away. “If anypony needs proper treatment it would be you.”

Heartbreak glanced up at Rarity. There was a look of sadness and grief stricken on her face. She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. “Even Rarity doesn’t deserve to be forced to relive something like that." “Look, first, let’s not bring that night up again? Please? And second?” “Fet I know I am going to regret this...” “How about we compromise?”

Rarity blinked. “Compromise?”

Heartbreak looked off to the side as she carefully mulled over the choice of words she was going to use. “Compromise. You’ll drop the going to the spa, if,” she looked Rarity in the eye. “If I let you, clean me up.” Rarity looked a bit excited. “But!” Heartbreak’s hoof jutted up. “Only a clean up. No makeovers. No makeup. No overdoing it. Just a look over on my hooves, my mane and tail.”

Rarity bit her lip, this was the closest to a chink in this pony’s armor she could find. “What about your fetlocks and coat?” she asked pleadingly.

Heartbreak twitched a bit. “You may brush those as well. But no touching the mark and no trimming! Just. Brushing.”

Rarity sighed. “Very we-”

“And only before we are going to leave!” Heartbreak added quickly, her hoof and pencil jutting up at the white unicorn.

Rarity jumped back a little from the pointed tip. Carefully, she pushed Heartbreak’s hoof down and gave her a disapproving look. “You ought to be more careful with that, darling.”

“Right, uhm. Apologies, I didn’t mean to...” She stammered, her ears drooping. “I do get to know -when- we’re going to leave, right?”

“Yes. Ten am at the train station,” She looked over Heartbreak’s appearance.

Heartbreak looked a bit frustrated. “Well, I guess I’ll have to wake up early then. Most likely around nine o’clock.”

As Rarity paused over her flank, Heartbreak felt unnerved. “You’re not giving me a lot to work with, nor a lot of time to do it in,” she said rubbing her chin. “But-”

Heartbreak returned to her drawing. “But you’re Rarity, you’ll manage it.” She looked to the side and there was a small silence between the two ponies. “So, uhm... now that that is out of the way, it would appear that we have a bit of time on our hooves.” “After all, If I come back early, Twilight will think that I did something to offend Rarity." She looked up and bit her lower lip. “Any thoughts on what we could do today?”

“Well, I hadn’t thought of anything else, I was really hoping that I could have convinced you to take a spa trip,” Rarity replied, attempting one final time with a pleading expression.

Heartbreak’s head drooped and her eyes closed half way. “But seeing that’s not going to happen?”

Rarity sighed. She had fought this battle and lost, it was best to admit defeat with grace and take the small victory that she had garnered. “But seeing that it isn’t going to happen,” she looked thoughtful. “Perhaps we can do some pre-travel shopping!” Heartbreak cringed and eyed Rarity. “Did I say something wrong again?”

==============================================================

Fuck. The more I tell her about the things that I don’t do? The more I feel like I’m backing myself into a corner. You ever clean the kitchen and start with the entry point and clean everywhere, but that one far corner of the kitchen? Then you realize that you are backed up into a corner with no way out and clean kitchen everywhere? That’s how I feel right now. If I say something, I’ll be spoiling the clean for that Rarity and I -just- spent, uhm, what’s the time?

I sigh. Only twenty minutes... more or less. Twenty minutes of us prattling on about something that I thought was resolved yesterday. Fuck, she’s looking at me and expecting an answer.

Damned if I lie, damned if I don’t.

“I... don’t really like shopping either,” I finally confess. Another time and place I might find the look on her face a bit priceless. She blinks, bewildered. “What?”

“Had I not taken your measurements just yesterday darling, I wouldn’t believe that you were a mare...” The words just tumble out of her mouth. Fuck! Duck and cover and try to figure something out!

Avoiding eye contact and tapping my hoof. “Well, there’s, ‘shopping,’ and then there’s, ‘shopping.’ I’m guessing while you did say that it was for traveling, you mean the type of shopping that involves window shopping for things like shoes and other things. To me, actual shopping means going out and getting things you actually need.” Alright, smooth. I hope I am not sending out any signals. “Uhm, speaking of things I need, I could use a few more pairs of overwear... I don’t need measurements retaken for those do I?”

“No, I keep all my clients measurements on file,” She sighs. “As for shopping, I was actually thinking a little bit of both really,” She says, looking disappointed again. Fuck, I desperately want to change the subject here. “But I guess you don’t want to do that with me either.”

Yup. She went there. I knew that Rarity was a complex character, but it seems like she’s all over the place trying to figure me out and I’m just blocking her at every turn. The only thing that all these things that she’s been wanting to do have in common, is that they require us to spend time together.

What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want her to feel bad because I don’t really want to spend time with her. I mean, sure, if Twilight hadn’t practically ordered us to spend the month together, most likely I wouldn’t be. Looking at the half finished hoof drawing, an idea comes to mind.

“...That’s brilliant. Why the fuck didn’t I think about that before? Now, how the fuck am I going to phrase this?” I take a deep breath. “I’m just not the window shopping type Rarity. I’m more of the, ‘sit at home, read a book, look up random information, gamer, geeky-” She looks at me confused at that word. “Eggheaded type. But,” I pause, “I just had a wonderful idea of something that we can do together, that I am sure both of us can enjoy.”

“And that would be?” She asks me.

“Well...” I look up at her. “I was thinking, if it wouldn’t be too much, that I could draw you. I mean I know you acted as artproofer yesterday, but I was thinking, and you can turn me down on this, that you could, uhm, model for me today?”

She blinks and looks almost bemused by this thought. “You want moi to model for your drawings?”

Crap! Come on! Let’s salvage this idea! “Well, it’s just that a mare who is as lovely as yourself is a complex and, uhm deep is kind of difficult to draw and-”

She puts up a hoof and flutters her eyes at me. “H.B., darling, while flattery will get you everywhere, all you really had to do was ask!”

Like One of Your French Ponies

Chapter 17

Like One of Your French Ponies

Rarity smiled. Now this was something that the two of them could do that could easily lead to both of them getting to know one another!

“Why didn’t I think of this! She needs practice with drawing pony anatomy, and we can sit and talk about things! I can learn more about her, she can learn more about me and in doing so I can actually see what I’m working with!” Rarity sighed. “Still, the spa could have been nice...” she stomped her hoof. “No Rarity. You lost that battle, but you are far from, as they say, ‘Losing the war.'" She pulled out some more of her tea, careful to get the blends that lacked any grass. “And besides, perhaps we can bring it up on a truly special occasion.”

Rarity took the loose tea and strainer and put it into one of the teacups. She cheerfully poured hot water over it and let it brew for a minute. She sighed a bit. “A mare that doesn’t like shopping? That just seems so... absurd!” She paused for a moment. “Then again, Rarity, Rainbow Dash isn’t the shopping type either. And trying to get Applejack to shop with me is quite the chore. Not to mention that she wasn’t a pony before all this. For all I know, she was from weird species of lion, or seapony, or even raccoon.” She peered in on Heartbreak who was still in the other room. “Maybe a gryphon? She did tell Twilight a story about her getting transformed into a gryphon after all.”

Heartbreak was making faces at herself in the mirror, sticking her tongue out, rubbing her teeth, looking at herself slowly from left to right. She then seemed to be looking at one of the random dresses that was in one of the corners and shuttering. Rarity frowned.

“Could that be the reason why she hates dresses so? It’s almost too ironic that she despises the very thing that I am passionate about!” Rarity rolled her eyes and shook her head. “‘My mother never made me wear a dress and I never liked them.’ That seems like such a facetious reason. Maybe I could get her to wear a dress if it was-”

“Rarity! Are we going to do this or not?!” Heartbreak called out. “What are you doing in there?! You aren’t getting prettied up for this are you? Cause that would just add to what I have to draw! Come on! I’m kind of getting bored!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I’m coming, darling! Just give me a second!” She replied pausing in front of a mirror. “Just a quick brushing of my mane...and ready!”

Heartbreak sniffed the air as Rarity walked in. “Jasmine again, I see.” She said, her tail flicking.

Rarity looked a bit disappointed. “You didn’t want Jasmine?”

Heartbreak blinked and looked at Rarity questioningly. “No, Jasmine is fine. I like Jasmine.”

“Oh, well, I just thought that...” Rarity shook her head. “Never mind,” she said, floating a cup gently to Heartbreak’s side. “So! How shall we go about doing this?”

Heartbreak looked left and right. “Uhm, I was hoping you’d tell me. I’ve never really had anyp-p-pony model for me before. I just kind of always used picture references. And getting ponies to pose where I’m from is neigh-” she coughed on the word. “-almost impossible.” Rarity gave her a confused look. “Ponies don’t talk where I’m from,” she explained.

“Oh...How-” Rarity paused, “Odd.”

“Yes!” Heartbreak exclaimed. “So! How about we just start with simple poses?”

“How simple are we talking here, darling?” Rarity asked. “I could do a number of poses that could be seen as simple.”

“Uhm, I don’t know,” Heartbreak said rubbing the side of her head with her free hoof. “Simple.”

“Simple like, sitting simple? Laying simple? Standing simple?” Rarity asked.

Heartbreak rubbed her left temple. “Let’s not turn this into a moment like that one time with Rainbow Dash, Rarity. Just simple, not dramatic, though I really kinda like drawing dramatic poses. Just simple.”

“The time with Rainbow Dash?” Rarity blinked. ‘Time with Rainbow Dash’ could mean any hundreds of times. “You’re going to have to narrow it down.”

Heartbreak bit her lip, then sighed and rolled her eyes. “Needs to be about twenty percent cooler,” she finally replied almost imitating Rainbow to the letter.

Rarity looked at the ground wide eyed. “Oh, you mean the time I was making dresses for all my friends...”

“Yeah, and they didn’t like them. So you went back to the drawing board and redesigned them the way -they- wanted them, exhausted yourself putting together really weird designs and well... you know the rest of the story,” Heartbreak said tapping her pencil on the paper. Rarity stared at Heartbreak for a moment. Heartbreak sighed. “Yes, Rarity. I know -that- much about you.”

“It’s not that, darling, it’s just...I haven’t thought about that day in ages, my word, that was years ago.”

“A simple laying pose would be nice,” Heartbreak said suddenly.

“What? Oh!” Rarity shook off the feeling of nostalgia about that day.

“Uhm, maybe you could pull out your couch.” Heartbreak suggested, coughing.

“Hmmm, that would make this much more comfortable,” Rarity replied hovering some sugar lumps over Heartbreak’s tea. “Oh, forgive me, I forgot to ask how much sugar you take with your tea yesterday. How many would you like?”

“Five please,” Heartbreak replied.

“Five?” Rarity said, a bit shocked.

“I like my tea rather strong and sweet,” Heartbreak replied looking at the tip of her mechanical pencil.

“Five it is then!” Rarity giggled silently. There was something that she didn’t know about this mare already showing.

==============================================================

Rarity smiled as she lay on her couch. The prospect of the progress that this could potentially bring was wonderful. She felt like she was really breaking ground here.

While Heartbreak guided her poses and asked if she could do things, Rarity felt the need to talk a bit about herself. “She might have known about that one time I designed outfits for my friends, but she can’t know everything about me!”

“I haven’t done any modeling in ages,” Rarity said attempting to spark a conversation.

Heartbreak looked up from her sketchbook and cocked her head looking confused. “Wait, I thought the only time you attempted modeling was when Photo Finish came to Ponyville.”

Rarity was taken aback once again by Heartbreak’s knowledge. “Darling, I don’t mean modeling like that, I mean... modeling like this! Being drawn, there was a time when my business wasn’t faring too well in the early days, so to keep myself afloat, I offered to be an art model for the local artists school here in Ponyville!”

Heartbreak blinked. “There’s an art school here in Ponyville?”

“Oh yes! It’s rather small compared to places like Canterlot or Manehatten or-” Rarity paused. “If I say that city’s name, she might realize that’s where we are going! I know this all started out as a means of bribery to get her to go to the spa, but I still get the feeling if she knows that’s where we’re going, she’s going to refuse to look her best. After all, it isn’t the classiest city in the whole of Equestria.” “Seaddle. Only about four or five students showed up, but it gave me bits to keep my head above water.”

Heartbreak’s eyes darted back and forth between Rarity and the paper. “Huh, I didn’t know that,” She said disjointedly, her ears perking towards Rarity. “Do go on.”

“Well, seeing that you are so insistent...” Rarity replied.

==============================================================

Several hours had passed and the sketch session had only been interrupted for a few bathroom breaks, a small prepared lunch of light sandwiches, and more tea. All the while Rarity continued to talk about the early days of her shop, how it was difficult, but with a few lucky breaks and her friends’ help, (particularly Fluttershy’s) she was able to get a steady flow of customers. A few stallions who had even caught her eye. Heartbreak gave a small nod and replied with a, ‘Oh, hmmm ummm yeah... mmm hmmm interesting... do go on...”

There were the regulars, the fashion addicts, the occasional oddball pony wanting something obtuse for a great deal of money. She realized that she couldn’t just stay in dresses however, ponies only wore most of their clothing on special occasions here in Ponyville. And orders from other cities came with shipping costs and paperwork. Once again, Heartbreak’s only reply was to glance up and say, “Right, hmmm ummm yeah... mmm hmmm interesting... do go on...”

“So I was forced into doing decorating and advising on such matters. That’s about the time that I encountered Pinkie Pie, she had just moved to Ponyville at that time, I think. And while she knew how to hold a wonderful swarey, she just didn’t have any sense of style or design, she was a pretty chaotic mess before I added a few touches,” Rarity said looking thoughtful.

“Hmmm ummm yeah... Mmm Hmmm interesting... Do go on,” Heartbreak replied absentmindedly erasing and redrawing a line.

Rarity frowned. “So after meeting Pinkie Pie, I was kidnapped by changelings, taken to their hive and made as their new queen.”

“Hmmm ummm yeah... mmm hmmm interesting... do go on,” Heartbreak repeated in an almost droning manner.

Rarity snorted and stomped her hoof down. “Are you even paying attention to me?!”

Heartbreak jumped up a little and looked at Rarity like a deer caught in a pair of lights. “Huh? Did you say something Rarity?”

Rarity humphed and stood up from the couch. “You weren’t even paying attention to me!”

Heartbreak bit her lower lip and looked to the side. “I was...”

“Then what was I talking about?” Rarity asked.

Heartbreak said sheepishly. “Something about the early days of your shop and something about changelings?” Rarity walked over to Heartbreak and snatched her sketchbook.

“Hey!” Heartbreak protested.

“Have you even been drawin-” She stopped mid sentence and looked at the three or four sketches in the book. "Oh, well, that's very good, HB."

Heartbreak’s frown softened a bit and she blushed a bit at the praise. "I get focused on my art when I'm drawing, Rarity... I didn't mean to zone you out.”

Rarity smiled. “I should have known it was something like that. I got so caught up in old memories that I had completely disregarded the fact that I am talking to an artiste!” "Apologies for taking your sketchbook then, these drawings are really good.” She flipped back and forth between the four different poses.

“Not as good as when I had...” She looked at her hoof rather lementingly. “Fingers, but I’m getting better.” Heartbreak looked up at Rarity and tapped her chin. “I think I caught a few things about your early days in Ponyville but when you started talking about the stallions you've dated I zoned out."

Rarity giggled and blushed. “Oh, but some of them were quite... memorable."

Heartbreak coughed and looked up at the clock. "Uhm.. Oh, look at the time! Three hours. That was much longer than yesterday!" She clicked the top of her pencil and plucked it from her hoof. Her hunching posture cued that she was wanting to go.

“Perhaps that’s best before things turn awkward. And you do have a few other things that you need to be doing, Rarity. Like checking on Opal. Mommy has to see you before we leave tomorrow!” Rarity thought to herself. "Well, I must say that you are quite good at drawing, H.B."

"Well, I have a good model and artproofer, Rarity. I'll see you tomorrow at nine then, right?" Heartbreak asked.

"Yes, tomorrow at nine, because, well, we simply must do something about your mane." Rarity said helping place the saddlebags back on Heartbreaks back. “Is there any particular style that you want me to try?”

Heartbreak coughed and blinked. "Rarity, let's worry about that tomorrow before we leave? For now, this part has been ...nice. I don't want to spoil it." Rarity looked a bit disappointed. "But, would you like one of these drawings?"

“Oh my goodness! She’s actually offering you a drawing! A piece of her very soul!” Rarity mentally composed herself. “Calm down Rarity. It’s a drawing. And you have a long way of getting this pony to open up completely. Still...” Rarity sniffed a bit. "Very well, H.B., I would be honored. They are all quite lovely."

Heartbreak attempted to flip through the pages of her sketchbook with her hooves with only minimal success. She sighed. “You’d figure by now I would realize that these hooves are useless.”

Rarity smiled and floated the book a few feet away from Heartbreak’s face. “You can just ask for a bit of help, darling. Now which one?”

Heartbreak tapped the floating pages and picked out what she thought was the best one. "This one,” she said. Rarity quickly and neatly plucked the drawing from the book. It was a wonderful full body pose. “Shame I don't have any coloured pens. I would ink in the eyes and marks."

Rarity felt a moment of inspiration strike her and gave Heartbreak a grin. "Oh, I think I may have just the thing, darling.”

Heartbreak blinked as she took the sketchbook from the air and put it in her saddlebag. "Uhm... oh?"

“Yes, where did I put them,” Rarity thought out loud as she looked over her shop. “Oh yes!” Her eyes turned toward one of the tall dressers in the far corner of the room. She focused a bit and down floated a jeweled collection of pens. "Now, they may not be quite your style dear, but..."

Heartbreak’s eyes fluttered a bit as the sparkling pens floated in front of her. There appeared to be at least twelve of them. She looked worried and bit her lip. "That's... really... uhm nice... but... uhm... will they fit my hole?" She asked waggling her hoof at Rarity.

"Oh well um, I didn't quite consider that. Maybe they can be um... modified to go with your... contraption?"

"Maybe, but I'm not sure that we should mess with that, uhm," Heartbreak said, looking a bit unsure of the gift being offered to her.

==============================================================

Alright, I know I have been rejecting gifts that I haven’t earned left and right ever since I’ve arrived here in Equestria. Well, most of the gifts I have been offered. I have a few accessories now. A saddlebag, a journal, a mechanical pencil, a sketch book, some erasers and pencils, a pair of overwear, and two hats. And now Rarity is offering me a set of very pretty inking pens.

The pens themselves are very classy, elegant simplistic things that are set with gemstones. Each one I am guessing is the colour that is being represented by their respective gem. They, ‘might,’ fit the hole in my hoof. ‘Might,’ being the key word here. Maybe if I were to wrap them with a little tissue paper and shove them in... But then I would have have worries about cracking my hoof at the worst and breaking the pen at the best. Both of which are bad, but cracked hoof is the worst possible outcome here. Rarity is looking at me disappointedly after I noted my concerns about this. I think she’s thinking that I am rejecting one of her gifts again. Fuck, after all that drawing and actually doing something with her that seems... meaningful, I would look like a total heel if I just outright rejected this nice of a gift.

"But! That doesn't mean that I can't attempt to practice with these. How about we keep them here for the time being and I stop by when I feel the need to ink and draw?"

Rarity smiles sadly and floats the pens to her desk, placing them in nice neat rows. "Well, if you insist, HB... I wanted them to be a bit of a, well, gift for you."

"I'm not rejecting this gift, Rarity, it's a nice gift. It's just.. I don't have anywhere to put them...” The sadness lifts off her face. She understands. Well, I hope she understands. I could be totally reading her wrong. I tentatively reach forward and place a hoof on her shoulder. I really hope she doesn’t ask if I washed my hooves or something like that. “Maybe and when I get a house? After all, I don’t want to break what looks like a very expensive gift from a rather wonderful..." Darnit. I don’t want to say that Rarity is a friend. It just doesn’t feel right, it just doesn’t fit right now. “...pony.”

Rarity smiles and rubs her hoof against mine. Alright the gesture is nice, but the feel of hooves on hooves is just plain weird! “That's actually a rather good idea, HB. I mean if you feel that’s for the best...”

I nod. “I’m still trying to figure out how to get this saddle back on and off and I tend to kinda toss it about. But,” thank you Minnesota, you gave me the horrible habit of the long goodbye. Come on H.B., get to that door, "I'll see you at nine tomorrow, Rarity. I had a... lovely time."

Rarity opens the door, smiling. “As did I, and yes. Tomorrow morning at nine! I will see you then!”

As the door closes and I start to walk back to the library, I mull over everything that happened. Rarity seemed to be catching on to my, ‘less than mare,’ behaviors. And I wasn’t ready with any good defensive rebuttals. I am going to have to come up with some tonight. But despite the awkwardness, the chafing, and a few other minor things, I think that today went much better than yesterday. I look back at the boutique. I think that Rarity and I found some common ground today. If I’m lucky, we’ll get through this month without killing each other.

Untangling Knots

Chapter 18

Untangling Knots

As I look in the mirror of the train station bathroom at the five or six floating beauty care items, I realized that I spoke too fucking soon. Rarity is looking at me with that almost ravenous glint in her eyes about what part of me she wants to tackle first.

“Hmmm, mane, body or tail?” She asks, waving a curling iron in the air. She gets up in my face and inspects it. “Are you sure that you don’t want your lashes curled? I could-”

“Rarity!” I am starting to tremble. That hot curling iron is bringing back bad memories. Fuck! Come on! It’s just a curling iron... a hot iron... a red hot iron- STOP IT. “Keep that ffff-flipping thing away from me!” She gives me a confused look. Calm down, H.B. Explain yourself. “That’s a curling iron. A hot curling iron,” I whimper. Come on! It’s nothing like what Kylie used! But I can’t help it now. It’s hot and metal. There’s no rational reason why I should be near terrified of this thing, but every emotional part of me is screaming to keep it away.

She eyes the device she was just casually waving about. Her eyes go wide and she eeps. “Oh, right,” the sudden realization hitting her. “I’m terribly sorry for being so insensitive, darling. Let’s stay with the nice, safe, and cool brush.”

“I didn’t mean to freak out, Rarity. And I know there’s a lot of things that remind me of that night, but,” I frown at Rarity’s description of the brush, “‘Nice, safe, and cool brush?’ Rarity, please don’t talk to me like I’m a mental patient.” I run a hoof through my mane and she gives me a look of disapproval. Alright, by all definitions I was acting like a mental patient. I put my hoof on the counter and give an awkward ashamed smile. With this awkward smile out comes an involuntary, almost reflexive, ‘squeeing,’ noise. I quickly cover my mouth and cough. “Uhm... excuse me.”

She frowns. “I beg your pardon?”

“I squeed.”

Rarity frowns and cocks her head. “And there’s something wrong with that?”

I haven’t a clue why she’s trying to start a conversation over this. No, Wait- yes I do. It’s most likely what she and many other girls do when they are brushing and grooming each other: Gab. “I don’t like it. It’s like I have no control over it and where I’m from, we don’t squee.”

Alright, generally we don’t squee. Or if we do, it’s not like this over-the-top-look-at-me-and-my-cuteness noise. It’s too cute sounding. Too- and I am going to hate myself for saying this- girly sounding. My internal judge is glaring at me. Yup, I am hating myself for just thinking that. “I’m sure that stallions squee too. Gaia knows that when I was still human that we squeed, or attempted to squee over things. Besides, squeeing will-”

Rarity lifts the brush and starts brushing my mane. “H.B., if you are going to fit in with ponies then you are going to have to act like a pony. And part of being a pony is the occasional,” her eyebrow lifts, “‘Squeeing’ noise.”

“I still don’t like it,” I reply.

“Well, like it or not, as I said before, it is part of being a pony.” She tugs down a bit on my mane and quickly brushes at the ends of it. “Besides, it’s one of those delightfully cute sounds that seems to drive stallions wild,” she says with a slight thrill in her voice.

Aaaaand we’ve jumped twenty levels of awkward. Need to defuse conversation! How do we stop the conversation!? “Rarity, no offense, but we are on a schedule and I’m not really the talkative type. No offense, less chatting more brushing?”

She looks at me with a mildly hurt expression. “Alright, be it far from me to try to make such a banal task go by a lot smoother.” Her eye quirks again. “Though if there is anything you would like to talk about, remember that you’re free to do so.”

“Oh I see what you’re doing, Rarity. Trying to needle truths out of me while we comb over my mane. It’s not like barbers and stylists haven’t been doing that for as long as they have existed.”

“I’ll keep that in mind...” I really don’t want to tell Rarity the truth of the matter. How it feels like she is eyeing me like some piece of meat that is being readied to be cut and served up. Or even worse, the real truth of the matter. That truth being of course the whole issue with my gender swapping issue.

Right, I have been avoiding even thinking about this topic because of what it leads to. After all, the passing thought of, ‘Why don’t you just tell them?’ has strayed through my mind.

And there are several reasons I don’t. The first being of how long it’s been since my arrival. At first I didn’t tell them cause I had other soul crushing horrible things being thrown at me. Then it became, ‘do I tell them?’ And before long procrastination set in. And now? If I let them know now, it’ll only lead to more awkwardness. They’ll feel like I felt like I couldn’t trust them with a secret that is so... well, vital. ‘Cause like it or not, gender is a core piece of a great number of every individual's identity.

I mean, it shouldn’t. But it is. Gender gives you certain guidelines by which everyone expects you to look and act. Boys play with trucks, robots and guns. Girls play with dolls, dress up and makeup. Guys are expected to do heavy lifting and hard work, girls are expected to take the lighter loads. Guys are expected to be all macho and not show emotion, girls are expected to be dainty and almost be required to carry tissues. I mean fuck, there is a genre of movie called, ‘chick flick.’

But there is a part of me that says these things shouldn’t matter. I’ve always hated those stereotypes that the society pushed on us. I hated the fact that I wasn’t, ‘allowed,’ to wear something because it was the wrong colour. I loathed that I couldn’t show emotion because I would be seen a, ‘sissy,’ if I did. I despised that dogs are for boys and cats are for girls. I could do a whole rant about how there are more female-cat based superheroes than guy cats. But that is totally off topic. The point I am trying to push here is that I hate stereotypes. From jocks to nerds, to preps to cheerleaders, to slackers to teacher’s pets. They were always so confining, so binding, so chafing. I mean, so what if I was a guy? I’m not one anymore. Well, not one physically anyway...

But at the same time there’s the part of me that won’t let go of those things that I was brought up with. They are ingrained into us at an early age. They are practically forced upon us everyday that we’re alive.

And sure, with this coming from a brony that watched a show originally designed and meant for little girls and their families might be a bit hypocritical, I am looking at this from a long term stance. I don’t need to go from one side of the spectrum of a male dominated culture being pushed on me, to the opposite side of the spectrum of a female dominated culture pushed on me. I don’t need the stress. I don’t need to look in the mirror and not see any glimmer of myself. Even if it’s through this pony mask, there is some part of me still in there. Somewhere...

Then there is the way that each of them would react.

Twilight would try to fix the problem with magic, and it would backfire. I’m quite sure that the Nine knew what kind of world they were sending me to. What the characters were like and what their flaws and quirks were. I mean how couldn’t they?! Kyle and I would practically watch the show together! We’d talk about what we liked and didn’t like! Sang some of the songs from the show together! We- fet... getting off topic in my own mind. And thinking about Kylie is starting to get to me. Back to topic.

Twilight would attempt to, ‘fix,’ the problem with her magic! All it would take would be one, ‘gender reversal spell,’ if such a thing exists, and most likely I would have to deal with Dusk Shine, Rainbow Blitz, Elusive, Bubble Berry, Butterscotch and male Applejack. Things are frustrating enough without everyone of them being stallions! I have enough trouble trusting stallions around me; I don’t need to worry about whether or not the six of them stop acting like mares and start acting like stallions and start showing... ugh... interest in me.

I come back from my little internal world and spy something hovering near the back of my neck. Blinking I realize that Rarity is attempting to curl my mane somehow without the curling iron, I am guessing with her magic. “Hey!” I jump away.

“What?” She says trying to look innocent. “You didn’t answer my question about how you would like your mane styled yesterday, darling! ”

I glare at her a little. “And I told you, Rarity. Just a brushing. Nothing more.”

“I don’t know why you’re being so jumpy, H.B.,” Rarity says trying to pose an innocent look on her face. “I’m merely trying to add a little finesse to your coiffure... And I might as well do the rest now - otherwise you’ll look a frightful mess!”

I cringe at the word she just used. “I don’t mean to cramp your style, but please just call it a mane... And we have a deal,” I reply looking at the sinks. I’m glad that they are the kind I can tap to turn on. “No going overboard, no overdoing it. It doesn’t need any, ‘finesse,’ it just needs to be cleaned up. And I am going to wear my hat.”

Rarity shakes her head. “I just don’t see why you like that-”

She stops as I snort. “It’s a gift from a talented p-pony, Rarity. And I promised him that I would wear his hats and advertise them for him. You wouldn’t want me to break a promise now would you?” I think I’ll leave out the part about how it makes me look like a tomboy. I can dig the tomboy look. Maybe.

Rarity sighs and nods. “Alright, I can respect that.” She starts to run the brush through my mane. There are fewer tangles now and it’s much less painful. I continue this thought experiment. How would the others react?

Rainbow Dash might not care, but she wants to get me back for what happened in Canterlot. Yeah, I can see Dash going out of her way to try a prank involving makeup, dresses or something humiliating.

I look at Rarity brushing my mane. She’s been over the same spot over ten times. “Rarity, you can move on to another spot, you know right?”

“I’m just making sure that it looks right, darling.”

“Yeah sure, and we’re on a timed schedule, remember?” Truth be told, I just don’t want her brushing my mane more than she has to.

“If you want, we can do some of this on the train,” she replies in an almost musical manner.

“Is there enough room in the bathroom?” I ask.

“Hmmm good point... we might have some time before the auction,” Rarity suggests.

“I’m sure that you could do this all in one sitting if you did more brushing and less talking, Rarity.”

Ugh. Nope, not telling her my, ‘secret.’ I can see how that would turn out. There would be shock. “Oh Darling! You poor thing! No wonder you keep rejecting these things!” Then would come over done sympathy: “Please, if there is anything you need, or any help with anything mare related, please come and tell me! I can teach you the proper ways of being a lady and any of the difficult things that come with it!” and then any behavior that I express from then on would be picked apart and over analyzed to see if it was either masculine or feminine. Eventually, jokes would be made constantly from her, about, "Oh my darling! You’re looking more like a lovely mare with every passing day!" which in turn would spread to the others and ...ugh! Yeah. Not telling Rarity.

I’m not sure how Pinkie Pie would take it. She might not care or she might offer sympathies. But fuck, I do not want to hear the phrase ‘I’m sorry that you miss your...uhm, *cough* penis *cough*,’ from any of these ponies. Particularly Pinkie Pie.

“Ouch!” I squeak out as Rarity tugs a little too hard. It appears that she’s attempting to tame my tail. “Rarity!”

“Sorry, but I am hitting a few more.” She tugs a bit more. “Snags! Are you sure Twilight brushed this?”

“Ouch! Yes!” The painful twinges subside as Rarity plows through them. “You don’t treat Fluttershy like this, do you?” I squeak out in hopes that Rarity is a bit more gentle.

Fluttershy... How would she react? Fuck... I still haven’t apologized for what happened back in Canterlot and I don’t think I ever thanked her for what happened on Creativi-tea.Telling her might give the response of, ‘Oh, my... I’m so sorry.’ Or an eep and her, well, shying away. Then retreating and not knowing how to react. I sniff hard.

Rarity looks over from her brushing. “Are you alright, H.B.? You don’t need a tissue do you? Am I tugging too hard again?”

“No, you aren’t tugging too hard, yet. I was thinking about... Fluttershy.” Fuck I hope this doesn’t result in a conversation.

“Oh?” Rarity asks.

I roll my eyes. I might as well show her a little emotion and try to pretend that I can express myself through words rather than just crying. It might throw off any ideas she has about me being anything other than a mare. “It’s... just,” I rub my hooves together, “When I first arrived here, I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I said somethings that I regretted... I think I should apologize to her and stuff.”

Rarity looks like she doesn’t quite know what to say to that. “Perhaps you could draw her a portrait or an apology card.”

“Along with a, ‘Thank you,’ card. Though I’m sure I don’t have to. She’s Fluttershy and most likely would tell me that I don’t have to worry about it, the gesture is nice-” Rarity is giving me that look again. The one that says, ‘you know way too much about me and my friends.’ “Are you going to start on my coat now?”

Rarity nods and rolls her eyes. “Yes, of course.”

Applejack might wonder why she ever thought I had interest in her brother. And then might worry about other things, like leavin me alone with Apple Bloom or Dib. Truthfully, I have no clue how she would react, but most likely she would give the honest answer of, ‘well that’s fetted up.’ She might actually take it better than the others. She seems more sympathetic due to the fact that the Nine are cruel beyond measure. And most regard this as, ‘icin’ on a mighty unjust cake.’

But.

I’m still not going to tell her. After all, she’s already carrying one of my secrets. I don’t want or need her having to carry another.

Suddenly I feel a strange tickling sensation on my back. Looking over, I see that Rarity is using a curry comb on my shoulders. “Is there something wrong, dear?” I kinda feel my eye twitch as the comb reaches my neck. For some reason, that area feels... sensitive.

“Uhm, nope. Just took me by surprise that’s all,” I reply.

“Honestly, you act like you’ve never been properly groomed before,” She says, tsking.

“Low maintenance bodies, Rarity,” Try to keep your comments vague, H.B.

“Oh?” She says with perked interest.

“Very light fur,” I need to make this sound as vague as possible. And it’s kinda true. I turn and look at her. “And we’ll leave it at that.”

She sighs. “Alright, if you insist.”

Oh, do I ever insist, Rarity. I don’t need you going around poking around and picking my brain on these matters. The brush goes over my barrel area and forces a giggle out of me. “Hey! Watch it!”

Rarity smiles a small grin. “Oh, so sorry,” she replies.

Is she trying to be playful with me? Ugh. “Just mind the mark alright?”

==============================================================

A low grumble came out of Heartbreak as she glared at the brushed and almost polished version of herself in the mirror. While most of the curls and tangles had been tamed, they still retained their wavy texture and curly bits at the end.

Rarity smiled at her work. “Now, wouldn’t you agree that you look simply fabulous?”

Heartbreak bit her lower lip and attempted to fight the amount of disapproval that this had generated. “S-s-sure Rarity... Now, put my hat back on my head.”

Rarity sighed. “Well, if you insist on wearing that dusty old thing... far be it from me to try to get you to look nice once in awhile.”

Heartbreak tapped her hoof on the counter waiting for Rarity to put the hat back on her head. “I look nice enough.” She frowned. “And you hardly know me enough to say that I would enjoy looking, ‘nice once in awhile’-”

“It wouldn’t be that way if you just told me a little more about yourself,” Rarity interrupted.

Heartbreak took a deep breath and started to mutter something to herself. “Ugh! Can we go back to that moment where I was drawing you? I think we were getting along better in that moment.”

Rarity blinked in confusion. Had she said something that implied that they weren’t getting along? Then again, she could be detecting her attempts at needling out any crumbs of information she could find. “That must be it. After all, she has lived with Twilight for over a month! And Twilight is a pony that normally knows how to get information! Why compared to her, my attempts must have been rather transparent... I better switch to defensive.”

Rarity batted her eyelashes. “My dear H.B.! Whatever do you mean? We were merely having some... chit chat, as it were.”

Heartbreak rubbed her temple and her tail whipping to the side undoing some of the hard work that Rarity had put into taming it. “Right... whatever,” she finally replied eyeing her hat. “Spike is waiting for us outside. How long till the train leaves? Ten, fifteen minutes? And do you have our tickets?”

Rarity nodded her head. “Of course I have our tickets darling. I agree with Twilight that when one is traveling, they must keep organized. And I am quite organized.” She levitated her saddlebags and placed them neatly on her back. The edge of the three tickets just sticking out from a small side pocket. “Well... I suppose we should get going.”

“Are you forgetting something, Rarity?” H.B. questioned while pointing out her hat.

Rarity sighed and her ears drooped. “Ffffine...” she floated the hat above Heartbreak’s head and delicately set atop the recently brushed mane. “Hmmm, maybe...” She readjusted the hat and crooked it more to the left. “No, perhaps...” The hat moved more to the right. “Well... Almost... Let’s try this...” She pushed the hat down some.

“Rarity, we should really get going, we do have a train to catch,” Heartbreak said worriedly and more than a bit annoyed. “You still have those tickets right?”

“Of course I do,” Rarity replied as she walked to the door. “I had them the last time you asked three minutes ago after all.”

“Right, I don’t mean to sound like a... spazz here. it’s just, Pre-travel jitters? Along with the fact that the last time I was on a train I was taken to Canterlot against my will,” She muttered under her breath, “taken to the Princess against my will really, and I hope I am not sounding ungrateful these past two days, because I’m really not. Ungrateful that is. I am really grateful, I mean I didn’t expect anyp-p-pony to-” She looked around at the small line of ponies standing outside the train. “-do what you girls did that day. I mean her word is law after all and...”

Spike stood near the door with six or seven travel cases stacked in his arms, two more cases on either arm and a tote bag that had several more suitcases strapped to it latched to his tail.

“And what, Darling?” Rarity asked, getting in line.

“And I see that you’re packing light for this trip?” Heartbreak asked sarcastically.

“What?” Rarity looked over at Spike who waddled over to the sound of her voice. Heartbreak sighed and pointed to the slightly overloaded dragon. Rarity batted her eyelashes and smiled. “Oh, don’t worry, H.B. I thought to pack some essentials for you too!”

“Such as? Cause really all I need to travel is my saddlebags and maybe a towel. Yeah, you should always bring a towel,” Heartbreak said tapping her chin in a slightly bemused manner.

Rarity looked confused and walked forward. "A towel? Well, they are useful... but just a few necessities, like a comb, a brush, a few scarves, some lotion, shampoo, conditioner..."

Heartbreak looked at the wobbly tower of things that Spike was carrying. “Are you alright? Do you want me to carry anything?”

“Nope! I’m good! Oh! Whoa!” Spike grabbed some of the cases that were wobbling and restabilized them. “I have everything totally under control!”

“Could you at least let me carry my stuff? Uhm, no offense to you, Spike, but I would rather carry my own things,” Heartbreak said worriedly stepping forward in line.

“I got to use your bag as a counterbalance, H.B.!” Spike said keeping up with the line.

“You can pick up your things at the baggage cart if you feel that they are that important, H.B.,” Rarity said, looking past some of the ponies in line.

“Of course it’s that important to me, Rarity. Practically everything that’s important to me is in those two bags. My books, my pencil, art supplies, journal, my hopes, dreams, wishes...” She paused, ears drooping a bit. “And any dignity I had left before I let you go to town on my mane and tail.” Heartbreak attempted to readjust her mane only to find that it had more spring to it. “Did you use any gells or sprays when I wasn’t looking? Cause it’s feeling a bit stiff and I don’t like it stiff.” She sniffed and looked around before sniffing herself. “And my coat smells oddly like lavender... I thought I told you no going overboard!”

“A touch of fragrance is hardly going overboard,” Rarity said rolling her eyes and pulling the tickets out in preparation to board the train.

“It is for me! I’m perfectly ok with smelling sort of like mint! If anything at all that is,” Heartbreak retorted grinding her hoof on the ground.

“Well, we can’t all have Equestria revolve around us, darling.” Rarity said flipping her mane and giving the conductor the tickets before stepping on the train.

Heartbreak frowned and sighed. “Thanks for making me feel like a Mary Sue, Rarity,” She retorted following Rarity aboard the train.

The Conductor blinked at the odd conversation going on and shook his head. After all, in his line of work, he had heard stranger. He waited for the green and purple dragon to scramble on the train before letting out a final call.

“Alllll aboard!”

Mixed Messages

Chapter 19

Mixed Messages

As I take a seat in a booth in the cart that Rarity has selected for us, I feel queasy as the train starts rolling out of the Ponyville station. The buildings, trees and semi-familiar Ponyville icons start moving past the window. I set my head down on the table and sigh.

“Here you are, H.B. Going off into the big, dangerous, wide, wide world of Equestria, with Spike the dragon and Rarity the unicorn. What time is it? Depression time!” Ugh, getting depressed over stupid shit is getting old fast. But every time I open my mouth and protest something I don’t like, all I get are snide comments right back at me. “Of course you are going to get those right back, you were being a bit self centered in that moment. Rarity was doing what she thought was nice. You don’t think it was nice, but she wants to do something that she thinks is nice for you.” I would like it better if she would ask what I thought was nice instead of jumping ahead and perfuming me up whilst styling my mane and tail in some over the top cute way. Ugh! I sniff at myself. “Lavender?! Why the fuck, lavender!? I hate lavender! Of all the fucking fragrances that she could have chosen, why that?!”

Spike sits down next to me while placing my saddlebag on the table. “Here ya go, H.B. and I must say that Rarity did a most excellent job you’re looking very l-”

I practically snarl at Spike in a silent dare to finish that sentence. “Thank you for bringing me my saddlebags, Spike. But please kindly refrain from commenting about my appearance or smell, please and thank you.” Spike gives me a frightened and hurt look.

“Geez, I was just giving you a compliment there. No need to get offended,” He says, taken aback.

I let out a long sigh. “No offense to either you or Rarity, but I don’t want to be prettied up and I don’t want to look, ‘lovely.’ Looks aren’t everything. Yes, I understand that I need to be more, ‘presentable,’ for where we are going as it will all potentially affect her business. But the perfume was an unneeded touch.” Spike frowns at me. “Hey, I’m just being honest with my feelings here, Spike. And besides. I did let her brush me over. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Spike rolls his eyes a little and taps his claws. “I guess...”

Fuck, half of me wants to say something snide and biting. The other half? I seriously don’t want to wreck any sort of communication I have going with Spike over something as stupid as this. As difficult as it is for me to admit... I think I need some actual ear to hear my whining. I rest my head down on the table. “I let her do something, Spike. And I haven’t purposely mussed her work up.” I put a silent, ‘yet,’ in the air. My mind wanders to the idea of what would happen if I were to share my secret with Spike... “Bad idea, H.B. Spike is the direct line to Twilight and all of them combined. Sure he can, if he really tries to, keep a secret. But not something like this. Just going to have to keep this thing to myself. If I’m lucky? None of them will find out. Maybe after I’m ‘in harmony’ - assuming that I still remember at that fetting point.” “I just don’t want to draw attention to myself, Spike. Because right now? I’m not in the right mindset for any form of attention from p-p-ponies, outside our little circle.”

“What do you mean by that?” Spike asks. “Cause if you’re going to adapt to being a pon-”

I quickly turn my head and put a hoof to Spike’s mouth. “Spike!” I quickly look around. The cart that we are in has one or two passengers. There’s a mother with her kids, some pegasus who looks like she’s asleep, and a gryphon wearing a top hat and monocle... A really nice top hat. "Not to be rude, but," I look around and motion to all the others on the train.

The gryphon kind of quirks an eye but then takes a newspaper out. It’s rather odd to see an actual gryphon this close without being any closer. A streak of envy goes through me as he, ‘hurumphs!’, opens the paper and holds it up with his hands. Or claws. Whatever, they work the same way and serve the same function. I shrug it off and go back to the conversation.

"I don't mean to be rude, but let's leave that sort of conversation for elsewhere, alright?” I ask worriedly. Calm down. Don’t come off as upset or angry. Just concerned.

Spike rolls his eyes again and looks at me with a scowl before pushing my hoof down. Fuck... I must have failed. “Bleh! That’s no reason to put your hoof in my mouth.”

I pull my hoof away. “I didn’t mean to put it in your mouth, Spike. It’s just... I’m being overly cautious and freaking out aren’t I?” I lean forward and lay my upper hooves on the table out in front of me. I turn my head away from him and stare out the window.

Spike sighs. “Maybe just a little bit, like I’ve said before, you just need to relax and take things one step at a time.” he pats my shoulder. “Besides, the more you overreact, the more others are going to pay attention to you.”

I blink and roll my eyes a bit. “You know, although it shouldn’t, sometimes it surprises me how simplistically insightful you are, Spike.”

“Hey, you don’t think Twilight keeps me around just to take letters?” He brushes his claws against his belly and looks at them smugly. “I have insight, charm and good looks!” He strikes a pose. I fail fighting off a snicker. He looks at me his pride slightly bruised. “What?”

“Sure thing, Eduardo,” I need to find a way to slip the idea of speaking in code to Spike. “I know I need to adapt as an,” I raise my hooves and give air quotes. “‘Equestrian’, because being from, ‘Mineighsota,’ is different. Sometimes I don’t make it easy for all of you... Fet, sometimes I don’t make it easy for me... But...” Bringing this home with a bit of honesty about my feelings here. “I’m glad to have you seven to help me along the way.”

“Anytime there, H.B.” He looks at me, confused. “Uhm, who’s Eduardo?”

“That was just me trying to amuse myself,” I reply.

He scratches his head. “Oh... I don’t get it.”

I smirk. “Just think Casanova when I say Eduardo and you should be fine.”

Spike smirks and rolls his eyes. “Sure thing, H.B.” It’s times like this I feel... normal again. I don’t feel like a human male trapped in a mare’s body with an evil branding that has a list of FDA warnings a mile long on their butt. And I’m not going to continue mulling over my new internal anatomy. I’ve done enough of that for today.

Right in this moment? I just feel normal. The little slices of life pie that I need to get from one averted crisis to the next. Alright, most of these aren’t crises. And I am making more of a deal out of them than I should. For the moment I’m content with somethings, even if they are few and far in between.

Then when the cart door opens and Rarity walks through, some of that content feeling evaporates and gives way to a small feeling of panic. Fuck. What the fuck? Come on! You were calmed down, like five seconds ago and now you want to do this to me?

Rarity is giggling at some random conversation that she is having behind her. “Why thank you, darling! And you take care too!”

As she turns and sees me, her ears fall a bit and her smile grows a bit bigger. She walks over and takes a seat opposite to me. “H.B. darling, laying on the table like that is terrible for your posture...”

==============================================================

As Rarity slid into her seat directly across from Spike, a service pony pushing an odd looking beverage cart came through offering refreshments. It seemed to be part icebox and part mixing station, with an array of small buttons and pull levers that had various names marked in a dizzying array of colours. Cups and a fountain sat next to this station along with a sliding metal door.

“Good morning,” the orange maned mare announced. “My name is Popfizz and I will be your service pony for the hour. If any of you fine...” She paused and looked over at the gryphon still reading his paper. “Gentle beings require any nice cold beverages, just let me know and will be happy to be of service!”

Heartbreak looked up at Rarity and stretched out even farther. “I’m just stretching my...” she paused and looked like she was either stretching more or trying to think of a word. “front legs some. I had to wake up earlier than I am used to and I’m still tired. Normally I would be sleeping at this time. But we have ponies to do, things to see.”

Spike lifted a claw and flagged Popfizz just before she passed their booth. “Why, hello there little dragon. Can I get you anything to drink, hun?”

“Do you have any Ruby Crush?” Spike eagerly asked.

“Let me see,” she replied looking over the line of coloured knobs. “Yes, I have that. I also have Emerald Mist if you are so inclined.”

Spike shook his head. “Ruby Crush is just fine,” he replied.

“Coming right up! Would you ladies like anything to drink as well?” Popfizz asked with a wide smile on her face.

“I will take a glass of sparkling white grape with a splash of peach, please.” Rarity blinked and looked perturbed. “Don’t you mean, ‘ponies to see, things to do,’ darling?”

“It was meant as a joke, Rarity,” Heartbreak clip-clopped her hooves on the table as her eyes rolled a bit. She chewed on her lip thoughtfully. “Uhm... I don’t know... Do you have any colas?”

Popfizz blinked. “Cola?”

Heartbreak sighed. “Right, never mind. Just a mix of everything.”

Popfizz blinked and eyed her cart. “Everything? Are you sure?”

“Uhm... everything that is non-magical, and not mineral based,” Heartbreak replied realizing what she had just said. “And isn’t grass. Or hay. Or...” Heartbreak winced, “fet... just give me what you think is best...”

Popfizz looked at the confused tan pony before her and smiled. “How about a little something I call a ‘dark cherry swirl?’”

“Does it have caffeine in it?” Heartbreak asked.

“Well, it does have a bit of a pep to it,” Popfizz replied.

“But nothing magical, right?”

Popfizz quirked an eye. “The only magic involved is the magic of beverage making, hun!”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Please don’t call me, hun.”

“Uhm-” Popfizz started.

“Heartbreak. But please call me H.B.,”

“Alright, H.B.! One Ruby Crush, a sparkling white grape with a splash of peach and one dark cherry swirl coming right up!” Popfizz said evervestently.

Heartbreak took a deep breath while Popfizz did her thing. “So! Do I get to know where we’re going now?”

Spike looked at Rarity. “She doesn’t know where we’re going?”

“No, and now she isn’t going to know until we arrive,” Rarity replied, pulling out a keychain with a number of colour swatches on it. She floated it up in the air and looked at them. Her eyes darting back and forth between the swatches and Heartbreak.

Spike quirked an eye. “Any reason why?”

Rarity eyed Heartbreak and held up a patch that was a dark burgundy. She shook her head. “Yes, H.B. darling, is there any reason as to why you wouldn’t know about where we’re going?” She asked in a musical tone.

Heartbreak only glared back and snorted. Spike looked at the two mares. Whatever was going on this time, he had a funny feeling that, for the time being, he shouldn’t interfere.

“Rarity, what are you doing?” Heartbreak asked concern rising in her voice.

“Well darling,” Rarity started, plucking a few choice colours from the swatch. “I have been attending these auctions for several years now, and there tends to be a rather formal gathering prior to the main event. The occasion is somewhat a formal thing, and well, I just wanted to be prepared.”

Popfizz placed the three drinks down on the table. The glasses tinkled from the ice contained within while peals of condensation were already collecting on the side. “Anything else you’d three like?”

“A straw please,” Heartbreak replied. Not a moment later, the orange mare with a bowtie tossed a straw right into the fizzy cherry concoction set before Heartbreak.

“Us too, please?” Spike asked politely. Just as quickly as he asked, two more straws fell right into their respective drinks.

Heartbreak looked up at Rarity. “Prepared for what?”

Spike took a long gulp off his sparkling red drink. “Mmmm! Thanks!”

“You’re quite welcome,” Popfizz replied smiling as she went along to the next set of thirsty customers seated kitty-corner from where the three were sat.

Rarity set down a pink, blue and brown colour patch on the table. “Well, we will have at least an hour before the actual auction, and while you are adamant about not wearing a dress... It wouldn’t hurt to have something nice to wear?” She fluttered her eyes at Heartbreak.

Heartbreak frowned and inspected the straw. “You’re going to have to define what you consider, ‘nice to wear,’ Rarity.” She said nabbing the straw in her mouth and taking a sip. Almost instantly her eyes lit up and she took another much longer sip. “Mmmmm.”

“So I take it that you like it, hu- I mean H.B.?” Popfizz said almost popping out of nowhere.

Heartbreak coughed and wiped her mouth. “Cherry vanilla with what I would call cola. Yes. I really like it. Thank you.”

“And everypony enjoying their drinks? Don’t need anything else before I move to the next cart?” Popfizz asked, pulling her cart a little bit back with her.

Rarity took a sip of her drink and smiled. “No, but thank you, darling.”

Spike slurped up the last of his Ruby Crush. “Aaah! Uhm... could I have a refill? Emerald Mist this time please.” He asked, picking up the emptied glass and shaking it a bit.

“Of course, hun!” She replied taking the glass from Spike. She then proceeded to make a little show about refilling the drink, switching it from hoof to hoof, filling it up with a sparkling light green fizzy drink and then slipping it back and forth over her hooves till it reached the table. Spike smiled and slipped his straw back into the drink before sipping on it and giving his thumbs up.

Rarity looked back at Heartbreak. “Something you know... nice! Maybe a blouse, a gown or a skirt-”

Heartbreak stopped drinking on her soda. “Skirts and gowns are the same thing as dresses, Rarity. I don’t care how long they are, a dress is a dress.” She closed her eyes and continued drinking her drink.

“Fair enough...” Rarity sighed. “Keep calm, Rarity. She obviously knows nothing about fashion or dressmaking. Still, ‘a dress is a dress!’? Humph! And after I modeled for her. Calm. Rarity. Calm. It’s alright. Oh, she’s looking at my swatches.”

“And besides, I wouldn’t wear anything in those colours,” Heartbreak said disapprovingly. “They’re too... bright.”

“Too bright? You mean too happy?” Rarity asked.

“No...” Heartbreak rolled her eyes and sipped on the straw some more. She looked like she was trying to choose her words wisely. “I mean, bright colours don’t look good on me. If you want to choose anything,” her voice moving to a quiet mutter. “Darker colours are better. At least that’s what my grandmother said I look best in.”

Rarity blinked at Spike who merely shrugged. “Darker colours?”

“Dark greens and reds, Rarity,” She tapped her hoof on the table again. “And black. Everything goes with black.”

Rarity frowned. Dark colours for a dark pony. A dark and mysterious pony at that. “But that’s more information about her tastes than I was able to gleen while brushing her mane!” A small sparkle went through her eyes. “What about a dark green-” Rarity stopped herself. She almost said, ‘dress.’ Heartbreak was a broken record when it came to this. “Something or another? Darling, please work with me here, what sorts of clothing did you wear where you where from?”

“Well, all of you enjoy your drinks! I’ll be back in half an hour!” Popfizz said heading to the next cart. As the door slid open, a handsome grey stallion with a black mane and fancy blazer tried to slip past the unwieldy, whimsical soda dispenser that Popfizz was pushing.

“Oh, good heavens...” He said worriedly.

“Oh, sorry about that, hun.” Popfizz said apologetically, the glasses and other odd bobbles and babbles clanking awkwardly on her soda mobile soda fountain. “I’ll just move past you really quickly... if you don’t mind that is.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” He quipped waiting for her to pass before walking on by.

Heartbreak coughed and choked a little on her soda. “Nothing interesting.”

“Not even hats?” Rarity inquired, desperately seeking a hoof-hold in her attempts to climb the ever stubborn, ‘Mount Heartbreak.’

“Rarity, I have two hats and I’m wearing this hat,” She said tapping it clumsily. Just then it fell off and onto the floor. “Uuugh, now look what you made me do...”

“I can-” Rarity began.

“No! It’s fine! I’ll get it!” Heartbreak said leaning over to pick it up with her mouth.

“Are you sure, darling?” Rarity asked once again.

“No, I got it, Rarity...” Heartbreak said attempting to pick it up, only find pinned to the ground by a hoof. Looking up, she saw the grey stallion’s hoof standing on it.

He looked down. “Oh, terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to-” He began.

He was only met with a harsh scowl on Heartbreak’s face. “It’s alright, but do you mind?” She asked through her teeth.

“Oh, no, uhm, sorry once again!” He replied removing his hoof.

Heartbreak placed the hat on the table. It looked a bit crumpled. “It’s fine. It’s only a hat...” She replied sighing.

“Oh, well, uhm... Still sorry about that...” The well chiseled pony said awkwardly, walking away.

Rarity rolled her eyes and tsked. “See? If you had just let me help-” She paused and watched something most curious. As the stallion walked away from the three, Heartbreak’s ears started to follow him and gave a small flick as the door closed behind him.

“I told you, Rarity. It’s alright. Twilight has wanted me to do more on my own, and I guess if I want to blend in with the... Equestrians... I’m going to pick up more on things that they do.” Heartbreak sighed and tried to get her hat to fluff up more. “But can we please talk about something other than clothing, what would look good on me, or where I’m from?”

Rarity looked over the stallion as he was leaving. “Very well... How are you finding the other ponies?”

Heartbreak blinked. “Uhm...” She pushed the straw through the hole in her hoof and looked thoughtful. “I’m finding them alright, I guess? I’m not sure what you mean by this question.”

“Well,” Rarity began as she twirled her straw. “Is there anypony that you noticed right away?”

“That I noticed right away?” Heartbreak asked, her eyes darted back and forth nervously. “Well... Don’t tell any of the other p-ponies, but-” she took a long sip of her drink.

“Ha! I knew she had some sort of preference. Oh, I can’t wait to see Twilight’s face when she finds out that-”

Heartbreak let out a satisfied gasp and finished her sentence. “There was that one time I spotted Ditzy Doo... Or Derpy Hooves... one of those two names. She signed my sketchbook and flew off. I noticed her pretty quick.”

Rarity paused and shook her head. “Not quite what I was meaning, darling. Allow me to clarify. That stallion who just passed by: Clean withers, a strong shoulder, well groomed coat, handsome mane and tail, not to mention a strong healthy looking croup. Overall I would give them an eight? Eight point nine? What about you?”

Heartbreak’s eyes closed tightly and she shook her head. “Bwah?” she asked with her drinking straw dangling from her lower lip. “I would give him a zero. As in, ‘zero interest.’ Seriously, Rarity. W.T.F?”

“Pardon?” Rarity asked frowning.

“What. The. Fet?” Heartbreak said, clarifying herself.

“H.B., darling. Please refrain from using that word in front of other ponies foals...” Rarity’s eye quirked slightly. “And don’t pretend like you didn’t at least have a slight passing interest in that stud who just walked by... I mean why else would your ears have followed him so attentively?”

Author's Note

Art for this one will come later. I need to buy a new sketch book.

Starcrossed Drama

Chapter 20

Starcrossed Drama

I am confused and literally wanting to start smacking Rarity around. Well, maybe not smacking her. But seriously asking her what the fuck gave her the impression that I would have any fucking interest in some random generic pony who had just stepped on my hat. Or even... Ugh! Interest!? I keep trying to get my brain to process this information and all I keep getting back is this, ‘502 Error! Please refresh the page in five minutes.’ Damn it brain! I don’t have five minutes! This needs to be addressed right now!

I try to lower my voice and rub my temples before I speak. “Rarity... Exactly how much did, Twilight tell you about me in your little trips to the spa together?”

Rarity taps on her chin thoughtfully. “Well, not terribly much darling. Mostly how long it was taking for you to clean things up, and how you were refusing a great deal of the help that she was offering. I didn’t have much time to inquire any further due to my massive dress order from Canterlot. Now, about that handsome sta-”

My hoof juts up into the air to stop her from finishing that sentence. “Right, so she didn’t go over the bit where I had explained that I am...” I roll my hoof around. “Alright, how do I explain this? I’m a, ‘Mineightsotain.’ If you catch my drift there?”

Rarity blinks and looks at Spike who is licking the last bit of green liquid from the bottom of his cup. “Where she’s from.”

“Well, we all know that your foreign, but what does that have to with anything?” She is still looking confused.

Ugh. Sometimes I do wish ponies possessed magical mind reading capabilities without the ability to tap into any memories. Wait... No, no I don’t. Doing this the old fashioned way. I take a deep breath. “Right. Put bluntly, Rarity. I have no interest in any Equestrians.” I put my muzzle close to the cup in front of me so that it muffles any sound.

Rarity frowns and looks at me confused. “Bhwa?”

Sigh. Just, sigh. This conversation is taking up way too much of my patience. That urge to scream at her is rising... I used to be more patient than this. Wasn’t that one of the qualities that my girlfriend loved about me? Always patient and willing to help her, even when she thought she didn’t deserve it? Come on. Cling to that. Just calm down and explain yourself. “I just don’t think of any of you ponies in that manner.”

She blinks and looks behind her for a moment. “Don’t tell me that you’re interested in...” her voice drops. “Gryphons.”

Wow. Rarity really knows how to fiddle with my emotions. Of all the things she could have said. She’s suddenly hit several hot button topics for me all at once. I don’t know what level I should be offended on now. Is it the fact that Rarity is once again trying to needle information from me? Or maybe the light racism that I am detecting? Or maybe the fact that we are going over old ground here again? Cool it, H.B! Most likely she doesn’t realize that I think what she has just said sounds racist! “Let me rephrase that.” I take a deep breath. “I have no interest in any being living in Equestria.” I grit my teeth down. “I am not attracted to any being here. And I have zero interest in stallions.” I hope that was blunt enough to get through that diamond hard skull and penetrate the gem studded marshmallow core that makes up Rarity’s brain. “And besides, what makes you even think that in my current mental state that I am even ready to think about getting involved with something like a-” I pause on the word and shudder out it’s bitter taste. “R-r-relationship?” Ugh! I need something to get that foul feel out of my mouth! I take a quick long drink of my dark cherry swirl. Yeah, that hits the spot. Man! I hope Popfizz comes back this way before we reach our stop!

“Well... While that might be true, we still need to get you on the proper road to recovery as it were,” Rarity replies with a suggestive look moving across her face. A look that is only made all the more uncomfortable in that she bats her large luminous eyes at me. “And besides, it’s not like everypony doesn’t think about these things from time to time, darling.”

“I don’t,” I affirm.

Rarity frowns and turns her head. “Hmph, methinks the lady doth protest too much,”

Fuck, I don’t know what to dislike more: Rarity referring to me as a lady or implying that because I am saying that I don’t have urges that I am in denial of my urges. I don’t want to share my little revelations with Rarity about my lack of urges. Some would say that I am in a serious state of denial about urges. Though I can see where they are coming from in their assumptions. After all, the more you deny something, the more likely you are to be secretly admit about it. I mean those who fight against gay rights and profess that it’s a sin, tend to be the ones that are actually gay themselves.

But this isn’t it at all.

I mean I have raised a fuss about the fact that I thought that ponies had their... stuff hanging out in the open. But, I don’t feel what I used to feel. Think a dirty thought: get a funny tingle and all that jazz. But I haven’t gotten that tingle. I haven’t gotten any of that at all!

I am only highlighting this to myself because that sort of thing is meant to be there! All animals do it! But even if I think about anything down there?

It’s like: ‘Nope, you know what feels better? Drawing. You should draw more. And write, or maybe paint! Hey! Let’s paint! And tell a story or two, that might be nice!’ Maybe it’s just- UGH! I am focusing too much on this and not at the topic being talked about.

Spike raises his claw. “She has been through quite a lot, Rarity.”

That little dragon is some sort of awesome. “Which is exactly what I was saying before: I’m just not feeling these things,” “Or worse, I’m just not ready to feel them. But I don’t want to say that.” “And the reason you thought I was interested in that anonymous pony was because my ears were following him?!” I whisper harshly.

Spike looks at me raising a claw. “That is usually a sign that a pony likes another pony, H.B.”

“Very much so, I’m not sure how, ‘Mineighsotaites?’” Rarity looks at me confused.

“Mineighsotains,” I say curling my ankles around my hat.

She giggles and waves a hoof. “I’m not sure how, ‘Mineighsotains,’ do things, darling. But a way that a pony’s ears point and even the flick of her tail can say so many things...”

That’s it! Hat goes back on head! I don’t care if I can’t use my hooves to get the fucking thing back up atop my head or if it has been crumpled. Hat! Goes! On! Head!

==============================================================

Rarity watched as Heartbreak struggled and fidgeted with her hat.

“Darling... what are you doing?” She asked.

“Trying...” Heartbreak pushed the hat over her face. “To. Get... almost... this thing on my head!” She finally fixed it atop her head. “There!” She exclaimed folding her arms and looking defiant.

Rarity looked at the tan mare before her with a mingle of confusion, sympathy and annoyance. “You know, if you wanted some help with that, all you needed to do was ask.”

Heartbreak looked down and then moved her hat back and forth over her mane, mussing it up in the process. “Maybe I didn’t want help with it, Rarity. It’s just a hat. I should be able to put a hat on my fff-” she paused and bit her lip. “Freaking head.”

Spike reached across the table. “Rarity is right about body language being important, H.B. Maybe when we get to W-” Rarity glanced at Spike. “Uhm, where we’re going, we can pick up a book about it!”

Rarity blinked and quirked an eye. “Are you telling me that you have no idea about things like body language?”

“I know that body language exists, Rarity, I’ve just never been good at actively picking up on it, even with other Mineighsotains,” She said frowning before attempting to readjust her hat again. “And we didn’t have such... overt ways of displaying our feelings.”

Rarity raised her eyebrows. “So you did have some feelings towards him?”

“Ugh, can we please move away from that topic and not bring it up again?” Heartbreak lifted her hooves up as if she was going to pull down on her ears. But then stopped. “No. I didn’t feel anything other than annoyance at the fact that he stepped on my hat. What I meant was that Equestrians have a good number of ways to silently communicate what they are feeling without too much vocalization. I don’t understand a great number of these things. And not only that, I wasn’t even aware that my ears were moving or paying attention to said individual. These things tend to act and do things on their own!” Heartbreak looked at her half empty glass. “I don’t even have control over my flipping tail.” Her lips pursed up and nabbed at the bent straw.

“Fair enough, darling. Sometimes not even we Equestrians are fully aware of these cues ourselves. Sometimes they rather subtle,” Rarity explained, as her ears and tail shifted slightly. “I thought I saw something in the way that your ears moved. I can see now that I was wrong and I apologize. Though, perhaps it would behoove somepony to take the time to learn some of the finer points of the Equestrian communication,” Rarity lifted her glass to her lips and took a long drink, “Instead of just resorting to such base and passive sarcasm with aggressive undertones.”

Heartbreak let out another long satisfied gasp and smacked her lips after draining her glass of its contents a bit more. “Yeah, because some of us aren’t obsessed socialites who like to press every little detail like one of their dresses. And besides, body language can mean different things in different places.” Both Spike and Rarity frowned at Heartbreak. “What?”

“Well! If you are going to be that way about this,” Rarity picked up her drink from the table. “Perhaps I should go elsewhere.”

Spike raised a claw to say something, only to find himself interrupted by Heartbreak. “I was just being honest,” she replied rubbing her ankle.

“Well there’s honest, and there’s just plain rude!” Rarity said scooting out of the booth.

“What? And you weren’t being rude with your comment about my passive aggressiveness?” Heartbreak said defensively.

“I most certainly was not! I was merely trying to give a helpful suggestion, but-” Rarity shook her head.

“But what?” Heartbreak asked.

“But nothing. I swear, I’m starting to think it impossible for you to hold up a civil conversation, let alone a normal one, with anypony who is trying to give you any sort of advice!” Rarity said with a disappointed glint to her voice as she walked to the adjoining door.

“Hey! I can so have a normal conversation with anyp-p-pony if I wanted to!” Heartbreak protested a hoof slamming down on the table.

Rarity pressed the square door pad. “Humph, I’ll believe that when I see it darling. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to the little fillies room to freshen up.” The door almost slid shut with a stifling shutter.

Heartbreak lay on the table for a little bit. Spike licked the bottom of his cup and then set it down intently before crossing his arms and giving a stern glare to the pony across the way. Heartbreak opened her mouth and attempted to speak only to see that Spike was getting up.

“Don’t bother... I’m going to the dining cart to see if I can get something to eat. You might want to think about getting something to eat as well. I would ask you to join me right now, but,” He pressed the panel to the other adjoining train car, “I see that you have plenty to chew on as it is.”

==============================================================

It’s official. I’m a ...jerk... or a bitch... or something. Rarity was trying to help me understand something and I blew it out of proportion.

“She’s right, I might have watched the fucking show, but H.B.? You know jack about pony communication. I always assumed that the ponies of the show were so human like that they didn’t really -need- body language to communicate ideas, thoughts and feelings.” I sigh and flop my face back down on the table. Spike's comment has so much truth in it that it hurts. I am hungry. “And I do have a lot to chew over... Feels like after graduation all over again. I spent so much time being a good student in high school, fuck, throughout middle school too, of just studying and being caught in my own little worlds, that I never thought to think of what I would have to do about the big world outside of my head.”

I look around the car. The gryphon is gone and so is that mother and her little herd of foals. “Good job, H.B. With your power of whining and drama, you’ve scared off all the others...” Darn it! Shut up! I don’t need an inner monologue right now. I don’t need to whine about what just happened. What did just happen anyway? What did I do wrong? “How about calling Rarity an obsessed socialite who likes to press every little detail right in front of Spike?” Come on. That comment wasn’t that biting or offensive was it? “It doesn’t matter if you think it wasn’t, she thought it was. Then she told you that you couldn’t have a normal conversation with another pony.”

Alright, up to that point, Rarity had good points. I could use a better understanding of how these fucking miniature horses talk to one another. I am going to be here for the rest of my natural life as far as I know. I don’t see any wonderful portals opening up for me. Well, none that would lead back to my home and not some weird fucked up technicolor version of this place. Fuck, not thinking about that. Still the last thing that Rarity said is starting to burn at me. “Can’t have a normal conversation my ass! I so can have a normal conversation with a random stranger if I wanted to!”

Just then, I hear a harsh snoring sound and a series of coughs come from the other side of the booth. Peering over the booth, I see a mare with a snowy white coat and an ebony black mane. Her mouth is hanging open just as awkwardly as she is sitting in her booth. A pair of glasses are perched on her muzzle and a scattering of books, scrolls, inks and what have you are strewn across the table.

I look around and frown. “Can’t have a normal conversation with a random pony can’t I? I’ll show her...” Seriously, why is this bothering me so? It shouldn’t but it is. I think it’s because it’s Rarity who said it.

I slither out of my booth and walk up to the sleeping pony. I cough to see if she’ll wake up, however I am only met with a, ‘murgle.’ Alright, cough and shoulder poke. Still nothing... My eyes dart back and forth again. I cough and give a light shoulder punch.

“Bwah?!” Comes the confused response. Along with a wing poomph that smacks me square in the face.

Pro-tip, feathers smacking you across the nose really hurts! “Ouch!”

“Oh geez! I must have fallen asleep and you startled me!” She says almost instantly attempting to make sure that I’m alright. I guess that’s karma working it’s magic. Wake a pony abruptly and get a face full of hard feathers. “I’m so sorry!”

I shake off the dizzy, painful feeling and then check my head to make sure that my hat is still on. Good, don’t need to be sending out ear signals. “Uhm... it’s alright. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just wondering if you had the time.”

She adjusts her glasses and then looks over my shoulder. “The clock on that wall says that it is - Dear Celestia! Ten forty?” She blinks with a rather worried expression lighting on her face. “Don’t tell me that I missed my stop in Ponyville!” Her ears droop and her wings refold themselves.

I give a light chuckle. “Afraid so.”

“That’s going to put a damper on house hunting with the sales pony...” She says her ears drooping. Alright, ear droop. I know that, is there anything else I am not seeing? Fuck. I better not start over analyzing anything she is saying. Uhm, fuck I have been standing here for a little bit and she’s looking at me funny. What do I do? Fuck! What-

“Oh how terribly rude of me, I didn’t introduce myself,” She says worriedly.

Right! Introductions! Seriously, why didn’t I think of that? I’ve done it before! I’ve done it before with little foals, other ponies around Ponyville and most recently with Popfizz. What’s my glitch!? Take a deep breath.

==============================================================

“Actually, I should have introduced myself first. I’m terribly uhm, apologetic for being rude.” The tan pony replied about to introduce herself.

“Oh, no, no, no. It was I who was being rude. A Canterlot pony should always introduce themselves first. That way any co-” The snow white pony caught herself. “Eeep! No! I can’t call somepony that I just hit in the face with my wings a commoner! That would be even worse than not introducing myself!” “Coooanterlot non-natives know whom they are speaking to!” “Yes! Good save!”

“Well,” she adjusted her hat slightly. “If you insist.”

“Oh I do insist!”

The mare waggled her hoof and then chuckled awkwardly. “Then by all means...”

“Oh! right! My name is Starchaser. And whom might you be?”

Starchaser watched the sparkling blue eyed pony take a deep breath, before looking directly at her. “My name is Heartbreak. Uhm, pleased to meet you.”

Starchaser found herself slightly entranced by those pretty blue eyes. All shades of the rainbow could be present in anypony’s eyes all over Equestria. But there was something... off, or strange or something about them. They were almost like diamonds. But hearing this pony’s name caused her to feel a terrible sadness. “Heart-break?” Why in the great world of Equestria would any parent name their filly that?

“Please call me H.B.,” Heartbreak squeaked out rubbing her ankles awkwardly

Starchaser smiled and pushed her glasses up. "Well, It is a pleasure to meet you, H.B."

Mini-Celestias?

Chapter 21

Mini-Celestias?

Starchaser smiles at me and holds out her hoof in greeting, almost daintily. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss H.B.”

I put out my right hoof, and shake it in return, trying to smile. Smiling make others feel more at ease, right? “Please... don’t call me ‘miss.’ Just H.B. is fine.” Why the hell does this feel so awkward? It shouldn’t. It’s just starting a conversation... A conversation with some strange pony, with the sole objective of spiting Rarity. "Shut up... maybe you’ll make the one thing that you’re afraid of making, here. " I’m not going to ask... I’m not going to- "Friends." Fuck. I’m acknowledging this point. I don’t - er, didn’t want to acknowledge it.

I’m sure Twilight and her friends have been wondering why I haven’t really called them friends. Or even tried to be friends with others. I mean, the name of the show was ‘Friendship is Magic.’ Why am I so hesitant to make any?

For several reasons, though one stands out rather clearly in my mind right at this exact moment.

The Marbles.

It isn’t clear exactly how that all works. Celestia didn’t give me an instruction manual about that hourglass telling me about how much of my memory each marble represents. Just, ‘Write me a letter about the Elements of Harmony, or something profound that you’ve learned about yourself once a month; and I won’t zap your brain.’

Yes, I’m paraphrasing here, but fuck. How can you make, ‘friends,’ with that hanging over your head?! The two of you form a connection, it lasts for a long time, you hang out, do stuff together, and have fun together.

Then one day? It’s gone. That individual comes to you wanting to talk about something or to play some game. Normal, ‘friendship,’ stuff, but you don’t remember them. You ask, ‘Who are you?’ And they in turn are all confused. ‘It’s me! Starchaser! Remember, we met on the train?’

... Fuck. I’m already assuming that I can have a normal conversation with this random pony that I met on the train, and already I'm imagining the worst possible scenarios.

“Would you like to have a seat?” She asks, pointing to the one across from her.

My morbid ruminations have me reluctant to sit down. Sitting down means that we’d start talking, and if we start talking - just then I spy a curl of purple through the train cart door window. Rarity is peeking through, and catches sight of me. I can see her brow furrowing slightly and a glimmer in her eyes that is almost daring me to stop having this conversation.

“Oh, hell no, Rarity. Like fuck am I going to prove you right in this. Like hell am I going to let the marshmallow win! I will have a normal conversation!”

“I would love to.” I sit down and look back at the window. Rarity isn’t there anymore. But I am still not going to let her win this round. Nope. Geez! Why is this burning me so?! Everything would have been fine if she hadn’t brought up subjects other than art! We could have set up appointments for her to model for me! I could have come over, and we’d have tea and causally talk about art stuff! What kind of inks were good for what, what I needed work on in my proportions! What-

“Are you ok?” Starchaser says worriedly.

“Huh?...” I glance up to Starchaser. “Right, you were offering me a seat... I didn’t mean to...” Fuck, how do I explain this? “You’re going to have to forgive me. I just got out of a rather heated conversation with... somep-p-pony I know and I just saw her peek through the window. It wasn’t anything important.”

“It must have been something with the way your tail is moving about, dear.” Starchaser is looking towards my flank and tail.

Quickly, I attempt to yank my tail over my mark. It proves to be a poor choice of action, as I am reminded that tails are connected to spines, and that yanking on them causes pain. “Please don’t call me, ‘dear,’ either. Just H.B. if you don’t mind,” I squeak out.

She looks at me in concern. “Are you alright, de- I mean, H.B.?”

“Peachy! And yes! I would love a seat!” I awkwardly slide my rump into the booth and sit down. I pat my tail down and glare at it. Of course this glare turns into a slight grin as I realize that I have mussed up more of Rarity’s ‘hard work,’ of fixing my tail. Pfffft, whatever, if she really cares? She can fix it again before the auction. “So, you have important business in Ponyville? Something about house hunting?”

“Yes, I set up an appointment with a pony named Rael E. State, apparently she is the best in his line of work!” She says folding her hooves on the table. Oh, dear fucking gaia, please don’t tell me I just started a conversation with a stereotype of some sort of rich, overly trusting pony who... Shut up, just talk with the fucking pony here. Learn things about them. Wait... Rael E. State? Real E. State? Real Estate? ... Really? I swear, pony names are going to be the death of me. No! No pointless internal monologue! Smile and nod.

“So, is it safe to assume that you are moving from someplace far?” Yes! That’s a good question that won’t lead to anywhere awkward!

“Indeed. Canterlot of all places. I know, there are so many ponies trying to move to Canterlot, what with its sophistication, high lifestyle and appeal, but-” She pauses and bites her lip, “I need someplace a bit... quieter. When I asked, a friend suggested Ponyville. I have never been there before, so I am eager to see it! I hear its quite peaceful and quaint," She says, smiling.

Oooooh boy... Stop it, H.B. Not everyone has watched the show... Well, none of the ponies have watched the show. “Yeah, peaceful and quaint. It can be that.”

“Well, I suppose with the summer holidays approaching and the Summer Sun Festival taking place soon, that everypony would be a bit more active than normal,” She shakes her head and her ears droop down. A sign of disappointment, I think. “I can’t believe I missed the stop,” she tsks and rolls her eyes. “Oh well, that’s what one gets for falling asleep, I suppose.” She looks directly at me. I notice that her ears swivel towards me from their drooping position. Fuck, now that Rarity and Spike have pointed this shit out, am I going to constantly be trying to figure out what emotion is being communicated by how many degrees an ear turns? I really hope not. Fuck, I’ll get used to it. “I don’t think I saw you get on the train earlier... Did you get on at Ponyville?”

Alright, just play it cool. You can have a normal conversation, you don’t have to be snide, snarky and sarcastic. You. Can. Do. This! “Uhm, yeah, I got on with two others. You were still asleep at the time.”

“Oh?” She looks around the cart.

“They’re somewhere else right now. Like I said, we had a bit of an argument. I’m surprised that we didn’t wake you up.” Alright! See? I can totally do this! Alright, let’s move this conversation train along! “So, you said that you wanted to move to Ponyville cause it’s nice and quiet? I can’t imagine that Canterlot couldn’t be that bad.”

“Well, it isn’t normally that bad,” She says, looking at the mess of things in front of her. She starts to organize them a bit into a few piles.

“Normally? There wasn’t a giant cockatrice-attack, was there?” I ask jokingly.

“Oh good heavens, no! The Princess was able to handle that last attack with relative ease. Besides, they only come out every three hundred years or so, plenty of time for ponies to be on the alert and prepared,” She replies.

“Wow, uhm, awkward joke turns serious. I really hope there aren’t any more of those in the near future,” I reply. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! I seriously hope there aren’t any of those in the near future.

“There’s no need for concern,” she replies, smiling. “After all, the Princess and the whole of Canterlot are prepared for any threat to Equestria!”

That statement stirs something in the back of my mind. The ponies are so trusting, so loving, so appreciative of Celestia. If they only knew... Then again, maybe they don’t know, and everything was covered up. Wait... I could be radiating my feelings about Celestia. Fuck! Stop thinking about Ce- CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

“But you asked why Ponyville?” She taps her chin thoughtfully. “Well, I have always wanted to travel, to see Equestria from a different perspective, a new place. A quieter, safer place. I mean with what happened a while back, I’m not terribly sure about Canterlot being very safe anymore.”

I blink. If she’s not worried about giant flying snake birds that turn you to stone, so what is she worried about?. “Uuuhm, I’m lost.”

She leans over the table and looks at me intently. “I am guessing you didn’t hear about somepony stealing a bike a few months back?”

Seriously! This pony has her priorities mixed up! Giant pony eating cockatraces are no threat, but ponies that steal bikes are!? Wait... no... it couldn’t be. I really hope it isn’t... “Uhm. No, I’m pretty sheltered..”

She gets all excited and her wings flap a bit. “Well, It was back in March,” Oh fuck, please no... “And I was walking along the streets of Canterlot, just minding my own business. I had just stopped by the local quills and ink shop there, and was thinking about taking a look at some fine dresses. A moment hadn’t even passed when suddenly out of nowhere, a pony on a bicycle nearly clipped my wings!”

“That... sounds... terrible...” Oh sweet gaia no, please, please, please no.. “Did you get a good look at the pony in question?”

“Well, no. But the local reports from some of the Canterlot officials described her as either a tan mare with a brown mane and a black mark... or was it a brown mare with a black mane and a tan mark? I think I heard somepony describe her as blue pony with a tan mane...But either way it was a rather traumatic event!” I almost want to point out that she is talking to a tan mare with a brown mane and black mark, but I really don’t need a headache here... Her wings flutter and flutter about while her ears droop. “I wasn’t able to concentrate on my work for days! So I decided that I would move to a place that was much safer. After all, nothing really terribly exciting or dangerous happens in Ponyville!”

Fuck, I am feeling so Mary Sue right now.

==============================================================

“Shame that you missed your stop in Ponyville,” Heartbreak replied looking off to the side nervously.

Starchaser sighed. "Oh well, that's what I get for falling asleep I suppose... the last few days have been so hectic..." She looked at HB. “What with gathering all my possessions, making arrangements, and saying goodbye to friends and family in Canterlot.”

There was a momentary waiver of sadness that flickered over Heartbreak’s face. “I can imagine that it would be really hard,” She finally squeaked out.

“Are you alright, de-uhm H.B.? Did I say something to upset you?”

“No, I’m fine.” She adjusted her hat and looked around before coughing a bit. “Just swallowed something the wrong way, that’s all!”

“Oh,” Starchaser said, watching the pony in front of her fidget about with her hat. "Good heavens, am I really this terrible with conversations?" Heartbreak looked back and forth, and then placed her hooves on the table in front of her before smiling awkwardly and giggling nervously. Her hooves flew up to cover her mouth, and she coughed. Just then, Starchaser noticed another small oddity about Heartbreak as she managed to compose herself, and set her hooves back down on the table. A narrow beam of light seemed to pass right through a small- Starchaser blinked and went wide eyed.

“Soooo,” Heartbreak started.

“Uhm, I do beg your pardon, and I don’t mean to be rude,” Starchaser interrupted, “-but...” she pointed at Heartbreak’s hoof. “Is that a... a hole in your hoof?”

Almost instantly, Heartbreak curled her hoof below the table and bit her lower lip. “It’s a long story... but, uhm... yes... Magical tea incident.”

Starchaser blinked. “Does it... hurt? Why in the wide world of Equestria would you drill a hole in your hoof!?”

“Only if I walk on it a lot,” Heartbreak explained. “It’s something that happened in April.”

“Oh...” Starchaser tilted her head. “But April was two months ago! You haven’t seen a doctor about it?”

“Magic tea, I don’t want to mess with something so delicate,” Heartbreak replied fidgeting with her tail.

"She’s going to muss that lovely tail of hers up quite a bit, though she doesn’t seem like the type of mare who really cares too much about appearances. Either that, or she doesn’t have somepony who can help her with it!" “You could always take it to a hoof specialist. Perhaps a farrier? I am not terribly sure, myself. After all, it's delightful to enjoy a relaxing visit at a spa every few weeks or so. But farriers can do wonders with cleaning and trimming your hooves that no spapony can do. Oh, Have you considered having it magically resealed?”

Heartbreak frowned. “I would rather not, I don’t like the idea of other ponies touching my hooves. And as far as magically resealing it? I’ve already been to a magical specialist of sorts who lives in Ponyville. She said that using magic to reseal it would be a bad idea.” Her eyes darted back to meet Starchaser’s. “I really don’t like talking about it. I mean after all, it will grow out on its own after a while.”

Starchaser found herself mentally shaking her head. This pony’s priorities were quite odd. “Yes, I suppose that it will... it seems that you will just have to be rather careful when walking? You wouldn't want to have anything get caught in it.”

Heartbreak blinked. “Or maybe I do...”

Starchaser looked back and forth. “Beg your pardon? But that sounds like it could be dangerous to the hoof-”

“It would be, unless it was something that was purposely fitted to the hoof... Like a plug!” Heartbreak smiled, while chewing on the idea. “I think I owe you a bit of thanks. Ever since the ...incident. I have been getting funny looks and what have you... This is actually a good idea.”

Starchaser blinked and smiled. “You’re welcome... I guess?”

For a moment, there was a small silence between the two ponies, that was only filled by the sound of the train rushing along the tracks.

Heartbreak looked up. “Sooooo... What do you do?”

==============================================================

Work! Yes! That’s a nice safe topic! Jeez, I have been floundering about in this whole conversation. Though she did come up with a good idea. A hoof plug that I can take in and out of my hole when I need to. It’ll help me blend in, and deflect any future awkward questions about my hoof! Last thing I need is to be driven insane by questions of, ‘Why do you have a hole in your hoof?’ -Along with any stupid accusations of being a changeling...

But yes, work is a nice safe topic.

"Oh, me? I'm a celestial cartographer." She turns and lifts her rump up so that I can see her cutie mark. It’s a large five-pointed star, with several smaller stars inside of it. I know that she is just trying to show me her mark, but the way that she is positioned in the booth, like everything in this conversation, is rather awkward. "I just love the stars. Mapping them out is my job and hobby, so it all works out. What about you, Mi-uh... H.B.?" she asks, putting her flank back down on the seat.

Crap. She most likely wants me to show off the mark and tell her about my ‘talent.’ Her craning her head towards me only confirms my suspicions about this. “I-I'm ...something of an artist... writer.. .storyteller... I'm still kinda trying to figure myself out... But you love stars and all that? Cool, I studied stars in school." I push my tail around my flanks. I don’t want to put my ass in the air.

Starchaser’s face suddenly lights up. Uhm, fuck I can practically see the stars in her eyes now. "Really? Not that many ponies have an interest in them, but the stars have so many stories to tell, it has been said they helped Nightmare Moon escape, and-"

Oooh boy. Here comes the whole shebang, crap if I don’t stop her now? She’s going to be talking my ear off until her next stop. And who the fuck knows how long that is. "Yeah... Uhm.. have you ever wondered what they are made of?"

"Oh yes,” She replies nodding. “I'd just love to get my hooves on one, but I just know they're too far up there. I like to imagine they're gems strewn across a dark blanket, or something like that... what do you imagine?"

Holy fuck. It’s like I have been dropped into the dark ages of science. The stars are gems in a blanket? I'd never thought that the stars in Equestria were something different from those back home. Stars are burning nuclear reactors fusing elements together and producing heat and light. Do I dare influence what Equestrians think about their own universe? I'm afraid... I'm afraid to tell her because of what Celestia might do... But maybe it’s the buzz of thinking of a new idea, or maybe it’s the small tingle of perhaps enlightening ponies about things that they might not know about. But, I am getting tired of being afraid... Or right at this moment I am. I’m sure fear will rear its ugly head sometime later. Fuck it. "I'm not sure. I always imagined that stars could be like the sun, only from a really really far away place. but..." I can't tell her anything else outright. I can, however, plant the seeds. Yes... "They produce light, right?"

I can almost feel my ears droop as Starchaser gives a laugh. Then again? Would I expect any other reaction? "Like the sun? While they're pretty, they're a lot smaller, and I doubt Celestia would want to have to deal with that many suns. Unless there were, perhaps, millions of miniature versions of Celestia roaming the sky at night...” She starts to laugh at that idea. “Can you imagine?!”

I produce a small awkward chuckle to join the fact that she is laughing at what where I’m from has been almost empirically proven to be a scientific fact. “Yeah...” Wow. Just wow. Forget the dark ages, I feel like I have just dropped into the stone age. Such simplistic logic contained within what some would consider the most advanced field of science back on Earth.

“Besides, the night is Princess Luna's." She looks around and then waves for me to come closer. I look around as I lean over the table. There’s nobody or no ponies in the cart, but she seems insistent on whispering. Might as well try to go with the flow, otherwise she might grow suspicious about me. "Maybe it's just because of the night, but I always liked Princess Luna more..."

"Uhm yeah... Princess Luna..." I feel a warmness in my cheeks as I think about Princess Luna. After all, she came to my rescue and -

“Ooooh, I see that you share a fondness for our Princess of the Night too?” Starchaser asks, interrupting my train of thought.

“Huh?”

“My dear H.B., you’re blushing,” She says, covering her face and giggling a bit.

Runaway Train

Chapter 23

Runaway Train

“What?” Heartbreak asked glaring at Rarity.

Rarity smiled. “I knew you could do it.”

Heartbreak’s left eye started to twitch. “Oh... oh no. No!”

Rarity took a long sip of her drink. “I’m afraid so. I wanted this little trip of ours to be more than just, ‘going to an auction and seeing if we can get you a house,’ you know. After all, a part of any good journey is meeting new ponies and even making some,” she paused, “Friends?”

Heartbreak started to rub her forehead. “So all that fluster! You leaving in a huff after I insulted you, was a ruse?!”

Rarity frowned. “Well, no, I was genuinely hurt by that remark, however if we are going to be together for the entirety of this month then I think I should let go of some of your more biting quips,” she replied her expression turning bemused. “But I saw a chance for you to improve upon something and I took it.”

Heartbreak’s eye continued to twitch, she opened her mouth to say something and then stopped. Finally she crossed her arms. “And by doing so, you’ve tainting whatever it was that you were trying to accomplish.”

“It got you talking to a pony that you might have not talked to otherwise, didn’t?” Rarity frowned. “The means justified the ends, darling!”

Heartbreak frowned and rubbed her temples.“You’re overdoing the, ‘darlings,’ again, Rarity. ” she replied. “I think it could have been done in a different way. If it needed to be done at all!”

“And if I had just let you sit here what would you have done?” Rarity asked, looking at Heartbreak in the eyes. She blinked, in the sunlight those eyes seemed to almost sparkle like diamonds or stars... “Shame they are being offset by such an angry face...” She shook her head and refocused on the conversation.

“I would have done what any normal p-pony would have done after offending another p-pony! Sat quietly and thought about what they had just done and what they could have done differently in that situation, so that -maybe, just maybe- they could have thought of a good apology later on!” Heartbreak said fumingly.

“And would you have had that conversation with, what was her name again? Starcatcher? Star-” Rarity began.

“Starchaser! Maybe! She is going to be in Ponyville after all! But now we’ll never know, Rarity! We’ll never know if I would have had that conversation because you pressed my buttons and I did what I did out of spite, or because I genuinely wanted to!” Heartbreak took a deep breath. “Rarity. I’m going to rant. Do you mind if I rant? Cause I feel the need to rant. You have put me in the mood to fffff-” she cut herself off short. “Ugh! You have put me in the mood to rant. So I am going to rant, alright?”

Rarity blinked. “If you must...”

“Yes, yes I must.” Heartbreak seethed and looked thoughtful. “No offense to you or the girls, but seriously: But do you have any lesson plan in this? Because it feels like you’re making all this up as you’re going along! First, you want to give me a dress, then you want to give me a makeover, then we get along for a short period of time! But then you keep insisting that I have to, ‘look my best,’ keep insisting that I need to go to the spa, and then...Ugh! Look at me! I am so frustrated by all this I can hardly speak!”

Rarity took another sip of her drink. “Does that mean that you are finished with this little outburst of yours?”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity. “No! No, it does not mean that I am done! Gah! Rarity, Spike thinks I’m a jerk because of what just happened! The potential run in with Starchaser will have me questioning whether or not I am talking to her because I actually want to talk to her or because I still want to spite you! And then you have the audacity to come back in here telling me that you masterminded me having a conversation with a random pony that I don’t know?!” She rubbed her head. “That you only said what you said because you knew that I would do what you wanted me to out of spite?!”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and let out a groan. “It worked?! It worked?! I just had a conversation with a p-p-pony that I don’t know, who might be nice and all, but out of all the ponies in Equestria, happened to be one of those ponies who just happened to be in Canterlot on the day of my arrival!” Her left hoof banged down on the table.

“Wait, she was?” Rarity asked slightly surprised. “Darling, how is that a bad thing?”

“Because!” Heartbreak’s hooves took on a more animated pose, quickly moving from left to right. “Remember when I, ‘borrowed,’ that bike?”

“If I recall correctly you stole it-” Rarity stopped as she received a harsh look from Heartbreak. “-But do go on...”

“Right! It turns out that that little event caused quite the scene in Canterlot! And Starchaser happened to be there when I was zooming down one of sidewalks! I nearly clipped her wings off!” Heartbreak explained growing exasperated.

Stunned, Rarity shook her head. “Really?!”

“Really! Yes, what are the odds!?” Heartbreak threw up her hooves.

“You did apologize to her for that, didn’t you?” Rarity asked.

“What?! No! The reason she is moving from Canterlot to Ponyville is because of me! If I tell her that... it’ll just make things fetting awkward anytime I see her...” Heartbreak said bitterly.

Rarity raised her eyebrows. “Then you do plan on seeing her in the future?”

==============================================================

I rub my temples. Fuck. I have been played like a violin, again! First it was Twilight, now Rarity!? Am I really this gullible? Or are my buttons just this easy to press?

“I’m not sure if that is a good idea or not at the moment, Rarity.” I reply. Crap, how the fet... no, there is no way that you could have foreseen that she just happened to be there when you got to Canterlot! I am sure there are lots of ponies that were there that you want to avoid! The guy whose bike you stole! A dozen different strangers who you tumbled into! Even the owner of that fruit and pie stand might be good to avoid.

Rarity looks at me with a serious-semi-sympathetic expression. “But from what I saw, the two of you were getting along rather swimmingly, what could have happened that would make it so-”

“She was there the day that you girls dragged my aaa-fffflank!,” Stupid censorship! “My flank to Canterlot!”

“Darling, you’ve already pointed that out,” Rarity says confused.

“Ugh! I know that I have! You’re not getting it, Rarity!” I can’t believe I have to explain this. “Do I need diagrams? If she knows that it was me that nearly clipped her wings, and she’s moving from Pony- I mean, from Canterlot to Ponyville because of me, then what’s going to happen if she finds out that it was me that nearly clipped her wings?!”

Rarity tilts her head and blinks in confusion before shaking her head. “Darling, I’m not sure if the expression, ‘making mountains out of molehills,’ has any meaning to Minneigh-”

“I am not making something out of nothing trivial!” ARGH! Why doesn’t she get this!

She frowns and rolls her eyes. A, ‘tsk,’ coming from her mouth, Rarity’s voice takes on a tone I rarely hear: Sarcastic. “Then the worst possible thing happens, the two of you have a conversation in which you talk out the misunderstandings and then you might,” she mock gasps, “apologize to her!”

I slam my left hoof on the table. “It’s. Not. That. Simple, Rarity! Better yet, what happens when she finds out that the only reason I started talking to her was just to spite you!?”

Rarity taps her hoof on the table. “Careful, H.B. To someponies it might sound like you actually care about this pony’s feelings...”

I feel the urge to bite my lip, pull my hair and scream starting to rise. Fuck, this is just like arguing with someone on the internet, and even there I would tend to let people play me! Oh, look here’s an argument I can be apart of! They’re arguing with me, and then I’m arguing back! They keep holding to the same point and there’s some burden shifting! Ugh! I feel so - so - so!

“Gurrrrrrgle,” Goes my stomach. Hungry, that's how I feel. I didn’t have much of a breakfast and I’m getting hungry.

“That’s it. I’m not doing this. For the sake of my sanity, whatever rapport I have with Spike and my stomach? I’m opting out of this argument,” I begin to get up.

“I am going to point out that you were the one that began this, ‘argument,’” Rarity replies. I just shake my head and fight the urge to snarl. She reaches out with a hoof and in an attempt to keep me from leaving, touches my arm. “I was just trying to do something that I thought was for your own good...”

“For your own good.”

Those. Words.

I don’t have to describe the rage, unbridled fury, bitterness and just plain old anger those four words bring me. Fixating on them isn’t going to do me any good and neither is staying here. I need a cool off. I need food. I have low blood sugar and I don’t want to argue with this pony anymore. I shouldn’t say anything, I don’t want to say anything but the bile is nearly causing me to choke.

“That’s what you’re trying to teach me here, Rarity? Get up, get out, talk to more p-p-ponies? You could have just said that instead of trying to orchestrate some elaborate ruse,” Getting up, I pick my saddlebags on in an awkward manner. “‘Cause seriously, I thought that you were meant to be teaching me about generosity.” I walk to the door. That’s all I should say. That’s everything that needs to be said. My hoof pauses over the push button on the door and I linger. Damn it, I’ve said what I need to say, that’s enou- “I guess those who can’t do, really do teach...” I mutter under my breath as my hoof taps the square button.

Fuck! I seriously hope that she didn’t hear that! Come on, mouth! What the hell!? The door slides open and I try to scoot out of it as quickly as I can.

The door snaps back shut while glowing with a sparkling lavender blue. Fuck. Rarity gets up from the table and gives me a harsh glare. I can almost feel my mane and tail droop. Fuck. Yup, she heard me.

“And just what does that mean?” She asks pointedly. Crap, I don’t want to answer that. The door continues to glow with a soft magical light and doesn’t show any signs of stopping. “Well?”

Fuck, do I have to bite a bullet here? I feel my nose scrunch up. “Nothing.”

“Then why did you say it?” Rarity asks.

I don’t turn around, all these ponies are fucking scary when they’re upset. Course the only thing worse than them is the frothing throngs of fan-boys who would come to Rarity’s aid screaming over the fact that I just insulted their, ‘wafu,’ or, ‘best pony,’ or any other choice names that they want to tag to Rarity.

“Look, I was just being stupid and didn’t mean it. I app-” I begin.

“Ah, ah, ah! No, you are not getting out of this that easily,” Her tone is sharp and cutting. “I don’t disagree with the first part of your half-hearted apology, but the second half that you are about to say? You meant something by that. Now, young filly, explain yourself.”

“Please, just let me-” Suddenly I feel a weird fuzzy feeling around me. It’s familiar, it’s - shit, she has me in her magic and I feel myself quickly turned around. The look on Rarity’s face is a cold collected seething hurt thing. The fuzzy glow fades.

“Not until you have explained what you meant by that little quip,” she snorts.

I try leaning back on the door and quietly tapping the button in a vain hope that it will open and I can get out of this. But no, Rarity’s horn is still aglow and I am stuck to explain myself. I can feel a throwback from my childhood revisiting my mind as a small panic attack grows. Pretty soon it threatens to break free as Rarity narrows her eyes at me. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.

“Fetlocks, Rarity! I’ll explain, but please back off!” I sound like an angry whining little child. She backs away but her horn is still glowing. Have I mentioned that I really don’t like unicorn magic?

“Fine,” Her brow is still furrowed.

I try to relax but find myself shaking. My fear is starting to mingle with anger over being manhandled like that. I take a deep breath. “You want an honest answer?” Fuck, I feel like I’ve been over this before. It’s just like with Applejack and a little bit like Twilight. I really hope this doesn’t degrade into a pattern with the rest of the mane six, I seriously don’t need to bring them all to their boiling points just to learn some stupid lesson. “Fine!”

As a spike of anger hits me, I swear I see Rarity flinch.

“What I meant is that sometimes you aren’t the best pony to come to learn about generosity,” I keep wanting to bite my tongue here. But with Rarity pushing me? That dam that I have been attempting to build because of what happened with Applejack is crumbling. Not that I did much to build on it anyway...

The frown returns back to Rarity’s face. “And whatever do you mean by that?! I am the most generous pony in all of Equestria!”

==============================================================

“Rarity, there are times and moments that actively dispute that claim-” Heartbreak said running her hooves through the back of her mane.

“Discord doesn’t count!” Rarity protested. “Ha! I bet she didn’t expect that!”

“I’m not talking about Discord! There are countless little moments that, while in the end you did learn your lesson about something, showed that you have a selfish sort of generosity!” Heartbreak replied shaking her hooves.

Rarity’s head turned and she, ‘humphed.’ “As if! Name just one instance where I wasn’t generous!”

“Seriously Rarity, I don’t want to do this! I already did it with Applejack and I already know it can end!” Heartbreak’s face twitched in frustration and her tail whipped to the left. “Besides, you’re setting yourself up for failure in this argument by resorting to absolutes!”

“I knew it! You can’t name one instance! You come off as a, ‘Miss-Know-It-All,’ but under all that is just-” Rarity started as she got up and close to Heartbreak’s face.

“Fancy Pants,” Heartbreak replied in an emotionless monotone voice.

Rarity found herself caught off guard. “What... about,” She swallowed. “Fancy Pants?”

“The back and forth you played between Twilight’s birthday party and his garden party? Oh sure, Twilight accepted your dress and in the end you got off scott free, Twilight not even bringing up that you were about how you were going to skip her birthday party. But still,” Rarity blinked and backed away slightly. “Or how about at the end of Shining Armor and Cadances’ wedding? Who was the pony grabbing the flowers?”

“Oh come on. Those two moments are hardly worth mentioning. I mean, what mare wouldn’t be grabbing for those flowers?” Rarity said laughing slightly.

Heartbreak looked a bit darker as she walked forward. “Alright, how about the time that Spike gave you that gem as a gift from his heart, Rarity? Course you had to do a bit of manipulation to get him to give it to you. But that’s all too easy for you to do, a fluttering of your pretty eyes and a bit of a pout?”

Rarity started to back away as events from her life were thrown back in her face. “S-spike wanted to give that gem to me! And I made it into a beautiful-”

“You know how he feels about you, Rarity! That little dragon would do anything for you! Anything!” Heartbreak’s voice cracked slightly. “And you manipulated him!”

Rarity swallowed hard as she recalled the memories of what happened that day. “Yes, and I would do anything for him. As I would do anything for my friends! Why do you think I stood up for you when, Celestia-” She began rising up into Heartbreak’s face.

“No! You don’t get to play that card! Applejack already played that guilt-trip inducing card with me already and I will not have it flaunted up in my face again!” Heartbreak countered getting back up in Rarity’s face. “Yeah, I get that you stood up to her for me! Thank you! However. One! I don’t need it rubbed into my face every time I get cranky and two! You wanted to drop me off at the local Ponyville mental ward when I first arrived! But that is all besides the point! The point is that sometimes you are a selfish pony! And manipulative to boot! And I don’t like to be manipulated!”

Rarity frowned. “Humph! It seems to me that you are as much, if not almost as, manipulative as I am!”

“I am not! And even if that was true, how does it even make it right!?” Heartbreak countered heatedly. “Seriously though, I have been fighting the urge to use what I know about you ever since it caused too many conflicts with me and Applejack!”

“It seems to me that you only want to cause conflict with everypony encounter everywhere you go! Particularly with those ponies who only just want to help you!” Rarity stomped her hoof on the ground “Don’t you realize this entire time that you have been-”

Just then the train suddenly shuddered interrupting the horribly drawn out and pointless argument. Heartbreak found herself losing her balance and was thrown up against Rarity.

“What the fet?!” Heartbreak shouted, the two ponies slamming against a wall together.

“Heartbreak! For the love of Celestia! Language! I swear you talk like a sailoooor-” Rarity started before feeling another jarring take place on the cart.

Heartbreak’s anger quickly turned to fear as pressure of an odd g-force pushed on her body. “Rarity? Not that I wasn’t really enjoying our argument, but that’s not how trains are meant to feel like in Equestria, are they?”

As Rarity began to speak, the train jostled forward and the metal wheels started to shriek. “Eeek! No! No they are not!”

Rarity’s eyes went wide as the both of them felt the train starting to go sharply around a curve, pushing the two ponies closer. Heartbreak found herself involuntarily wrapping her hooves around her accidental teacher.

“Aaah! Rarity do something!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs.

Rarity would have pointed out the hypocrisy of chewing out a pony and then asking for their help, had it not been for the random jostle that sent her mind reeling and screaming in panic. “Me?! What do you want me to do!?”

“I don’t know! You’re a unicorn! You have magic! Teleport us! Stop the train! Something!” Heartbreak cried.

“Just who do you think I am!? Twilight Sparkle?! I don’t know any teleportation spells and stopping this train is far out of my reach!” Rarity shouted back.

“WHAT?! I CAN’T DIE, RARITY!” Heartbreak screamed grabbing Rarity’s cheeks in her ankles. “IF I DIE THEN EQUESTRIA EXPLODES!”

Rarity’s eyes went wide as she had just suddenly remembered that Heartbreak was a walking chaos bomb. “WHAT?! AAAAAAAAAA!” She almost instantly wrapped her hooves tighter around the tan pain in the flank in front of her. “I DON’T WANT TO DIE THIS UNFABULOUSLY!”

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE HUGGING YOU!” Heartbreak screamed at the top of her lungs.

Cross Dressing Dragons

Chapter 24

Cross Dressing Dragons

Fuck! Rarity can’t teleport!? I swear, if we get out of this alive? I am going to read a book about spells just to see if I can wrap my head around the concepts of basic magic.

I seriously doubt that I can do that, after all, part of magic is doing. And if you can’t do magic, then I am sure that you can’t fully understand magic.

What the hell?! Why am I even thinking about this! I’m on an out of control train holding onto Rarity for my life! I shouldn’t be worrying about this! What should I be worrying about!? What’s happening to the train!?

As the train sharply turns a corner the two of us slammed against another wall, I lean my head up just inches from that wonderfully sharp horn that sticking out the middle of her forehead. Another wobbly jarring of the train cars and she’s pinned up against me in a way that is rather awkward, the whole of her mane shoved up in my face. “Wow, it is really silky. And smells pretty nice. I wonder what kind of shampoo-” SHUT UP, BRAIN! Suddenly, the both of us feel an uneasy lightness as the train feels like it takes a sudden drop down a rather steep hill.

Rarity and I look at each other and do the one thing that we can agree on doing since this whole trip thing began: Screaming.

As the two of us practice piercing each others eardrums, the screeching of the train wheels brings the whole train to a shuddering halt, with the both of us hitting our sides as we were being slammed against the back of the train seat. The both of us are still screaming for over five minutes when I realize that the train has actually stopped.

==============================================================

“Rarity!” Heartbreak exclaimed, looking around and shaking. Screams continued to come out of Rarity’s mouth. “Rarity!”

“WHAAAAAAAT!” Rarity cried out.

“Rarity! Don’t make me hit you!” Heartbreak shouted.

“What?!” Rarity replied jumping back a bit.

“I think we’ve stopped!” Heartbreak squeaked out, looking around nervously.

Rarity blinked and clutched Heartbreak involuntarily. “A-a-are you sure about that, darling?”

“I-I-I’m pretty sure...” Heartbreak gasped. “Uhm, Rarity? You can let go of me now.”

Rarity blinked. “What?”

“You’re kind of crushing me!” Heartbreak squeaked out.

“Huh?” She looked at Heartbreak. “Oh!” She let go and watched the pony in front of her crumple a bit.

“Thanks...”

Just then, the train cart door opened and Spike rushed through. His head was covered in a variety of different pony clothing, a scarf around his neck, a skirt awkwardly draped over him like some strange sash and a pair of overwear on his head covering up his vision.

“Rarity! Heartbreak! Don’t worry! I’ll save you both!” He shouted, with a determined look on his face upon entering the door. As his little legs ran, he irked and tripped on the scarf before falling flat on his face in front of the two ponies he intended to, ‘save.’

Heartbreak and Rarity looked at each other in a moment of awkward silence. Heartbreak eyed Spike as he pushed the overwear off his eyes. Plastered on his face was some random splotches of food.

“Are you two ok?” He asked. Heartbreak looked at Rarity for a moment and then bit her lip. This was followed by a slight snirk, and snorting.

Rarity tried to straighten her frazzled mane while looking confused at Heartbreak. “I am quite alright, as for H.B...” She looked over at the snickering pony who finally just burst out laughing.

Spike blinked in confusion. “Did she hit her head on something?”

“The train going out of control combined with our argument must have finally sent her over the edge!” Rarity frowned at Heartbreak. “H.B.! Control yourself!”

“I can’t help it!” Heartbreak tried to say through a stream of laughing fits. “It’s so fetting funny!” Rarity and Spike looked at each other bewildered.

“Uuuuhm, What’s so funny, H.B.?” Spike finally asked.

“Don’t you both get it?” Heartbreak said snickering before pointing at the little dragon. “Spike is showing off your new fall line!”

Spike looked down at himself and blinked. He raised a finger and then it drooped down. He scratched his head and shrugged. “I don’t get it...”

Rarity frowned and then coughed, hiding a small chuckle at the horrible joke. “H.B.! It’s not-” She giggled a little eying Spike’s ensemble. The magical nature of the overwear was making it look like he didn’t have any frills on the top of his head or the sides. She fought the urge to snicker a bit more as her magical aura tugged them off the top of his head. “H.B.! It’s not nice-” As she pulled the scarf off her precious Spike it sent him spinning like a top causing the skirt draped over him to fall to his waist. He wobbled about dizzily before shaking his head and gasping at the little yellow thing that he now was officially wearing.

The two mares looked at each other as Spike frowned at his newly acquired attire. Heartbreak once again found herself bursting into laughter, this time Rarity almost joining her.

“Looks like you got,” Heartbreak covered her mouth and snorted at the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. “Somep-p-pony to wear a dress after all...”

Rarity rolled her eyes while Spike fumed and crossed his arms. “H.B., it isn’t proper to-” she looked at Spike as he huffed and gruffed. “Oh, he’s just so adorable!”

Heartbreak smirked and looked at Rarity. “You were saying?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and smiled a bit. This was all sort of funny in a low brow kind of way. “It isn’t proper to laugh at others misfortunes.”

==============================================================

I so want to counter Rarity’s remark with, ‘It isn’t proper, but what’s funny is funny.’ And that smile tells me that she does find a little humor in Spike in a dress.

Why the hell was that so incredibly funny anyhow? Fuck, why is anything really funny? Was it the combination of intense fear followed by a random event of just plain ludicrousness?

Whatever it was... I think I kind of needed it. I can’t be depressed all the time. I just wish I would stop worrying about whether or not my interaction with Spike or any of the others for that matter, detracts from the friendships they are meant to have. Fuck, if I start thinking about this, I’m going to kill that little gem of a moment that I just had.

Just then the conductor steps through the door. He is wide eyed and his mane is looking frazzled. “Is everyp-” he stops himself seeing Spike. “Everybeing here alright?”

“Right as rain,” I reply holding out my hoof. Suddenly I remember that I don’t have thumbs. Fuck, this must look weird. Eying Spike that little bit of awkward sadness dissipates. Rarity and Spike on the hand are looking at me in a bit of shock.

“I know I asked this before, but did you hit your head on anything, H.B.?” Spike asks me.

“Let me check her over, just in case...” Rarity says looking me over in the face.

Seriously? I show the slightest bit of positivity and they think I have - wait, they just might be kidding with me. Only one way to test this. I look at the conductor. “I’m fine but these two are a mess. Better get them checked out.”

Rarity gives a light chuckle. “Yes, everypony here is quite alright, Mr Conductor.” Yup. They’re messing with me. She then looks at the Conductor with an annoyed expression. “However, we would like it if you would kindly explain to us the reason we were tossed around like common luggage.”

He rubs the side of his head. “Yes, about that. You wouldn’t believe this but the new pony accidentally bumped the brake completely by mistake.”

“That was some mistake!” Rarity exclaimed. “I hope nopony or being was seriously hurt!”

“There have been some cuts, scrapes and bruises. But nothing serious thus far, however our medic is taking a good look over all the passengers,” the conductor replies. “As I said before, it was a mistake on the part of the new pony. We will be talking with him.”

I elbow Rarity. “Give the newbie a break, Rarity. We all know what it’s like to make mistakes on the first day of something new, right?”

She rubs the spot where I elbowed her. Geez, she is such a marshmallow. “Yes... I suppose we all have...”

“The important part is to learn from them and move on!” I quip. Rarity looks like she is about to say something to this remark. “Uhm, Mr. Conductor-”

“Please, call me Thomas,” He says. “Thomas Tinkletrain. And you would be?”

I blink and tilt my head. I know that’s a reference to something. When I was still larping, I needed a new character name. Someone suggested this name. They all laughed at it and I was left in the dark. I could have googled the name, but just never got around to it. Now, I'll never know. Oh well, whatever.

“Heartbreak, but please,” I stand up and adjust my hat. “Call me H.B.”

==============================================================

“It is a pleasure to meet you Miss H.B.” He replied smiling.

Heartbreak looked at Thomas in a glaring manner.

“Oh dear. He called her, ‘miss.’” Rarity sighed. “Here we go again...”

Heartbreak took a deep breath. “Please. Just, H.B. if you would.”

“Alright, H.B. it is,” Thomas replied. “Was there something that you wanted?”

“Right, uhm, I was wondering if is safe to go into the dining cart. I’m pretty hungry and when I get hungry, I get moody and cranky.” She looked at Rarity in an apologetic manner. “And then I say stupid things that I don’t really mean...”

Thomas looked into the other cart. “They are cleaning a few messes up, however thankfully we were able to stabilize a good number of the serving carts. The new pony maybe a bit of a klutz, however him being a unicorn does come in handy every once in awhile.”

Rarity smiled. “It’s a bit of a poor apology, but it looks like she means what she’s saying.” “I think... we all say things that we don’t mean from time to time. Particularly when we are hungry.”

“So I take it that you three will be heading to the dining cart?” Thomas asked.

Heartbreak’s stomach gurgled harshly. “Ooof. Yes, I think that would be a good idea.” She started to walk towards the conductor.

“A splendid idea, in fact,” Rarity replied. She looked over at Spike who was struggling to remove the little skirt around his belly. She giggled a little.

“Just. Give. Me a second!” He said finally pushing the dress off. “Hey! Wait up!”

==============================================================

The three sat in the corner booth on the far side of the cart. The train had started rolling its way back onto its next destination and the conductor said that they would be getting to the final destination in about fifteen minutes after that.

Rarity noted how it was quieter here, and pretty isolated from the rest of the passengers. “Which is good, because despite the laughter we just shared, there are some serious topics that need to be brought up. However, I’ll wait a little bit till after she has some food in her stomach.”

The service unicorn was quick to get the three food and drinks. Heartbreak was currently looking at a basket of hay fries that had a dollop of ketchup on them. “Are you sure these aren’t made of actual hay?” She asked poking them with a hoof.

Spike took a big handful out of his basket. “Yup! They’re just called that because of the way they look. Trust me, they’re delicious!”

Rarity noted the flicker of envy that brushed across Heartbreak’s face as she saw Spike stuff the fries into his mouth. Spike’s eating habits left something to be desired, but at least he wasn’t showing off the fact that he had fingers.

Heartbreak reached forward and nibbled on the crunchy golden fries. She blinked and started munching on the rest. “Yeah,” She commented, in between a mouth full of fries. “These are good. Nicely salted too.”

Rarity found herself slightly horrified at Heartbreak’s manners. “You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, H.B.” She took a bite of her watercress sandwich.

Heartbreak’s only response was to take a large mouthful of fries and proceed to dip them into the ketchup before munching them down. “Mmmm,” she licked her lips and smiled before taking a long drink of a, ‘cherry cola.’

“Feeling better, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Getting there, ask me after I’ve eaten some more.” Heartbreak replied taking another bite. She chewed on a single fry into small bits before sucking it into her mouth. “I should have realized that I was getting hungry... I was starting to kind of get a bit shaky.”

Rarity took another bite of her sandwich and waited for Heartbreak to have a few more bites of her fries. “So,” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “We have a problem. Don’t we?”

“Do we?” Heartbreak quickly took a large bite of her fries. Spike frowned at her and she smiled before then swallowing them hastily.

“H.B., darling, we can’t keep going into this cycle of frustration and bickering,” Rarity said.

“But Rarity, we’re so good at it!” Heartbreak replied. Spike and Rarity only gave her a serious look. “I was just trying to be funny...”

“Which isn’t a bad thing, H.B. I did rather enjoy our little... moment,” Rarity took a sip of her drink. “However,”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and sighed knowingly. “However we can’t keep fighting like this.”

Spike leaned on his hand and took another mess of fries. He then casually tossed them into his mouth. Hopefully, this conversation would lead to something good. “It better lead to something good. Because if I have to include all this fighting in my report to Twilight...”

“So, how do we go about fixing this little problem that keeps happening?” Rarity asked. “After all, you made mention of this happening with Twilight and Applejack.”

Heartbreak looked off to the side, she sighed. “Something that could actually work?” Her lips moved back and forth. She then looked at Rarity in the eyes. “Can I be honest?”

“I would really appreciate that,” Rarity replied.

“I’m not sure that we can completely, ‘fix,’ said problem that we have between each other, not to mention the others,” Heartbreak craned her head to the side until a series of cracks emanated from her neck.

“Oh, darling!” Rarity’s face twisted up as she shuddered. “Please don’t do that!”

“Heh, you’ll have to forgive me, but after all that shaking? My neck really needed that,” Heartbreak sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Right, the issue at h-h-h-hoooopph,” her tongue raspberried out as she stumbled over her words. “Something that you could do...” She tapped her hoof on the table.

Rarity looked attentively at Heartbreak. “Yes?”

“Well...”

Spike rolled his eyes and lightly elbowed the fumbling pony.

“Ouch!” She looked at him. “Right. Something you could do is not force me into a situation and maybe, and this is just a thought... and I don’t know if it’ll work or not, offer me options?”

==============================================================

Rarity frowns a bit. “Darling, I have been offering you plenty of options! Why when I was drawing you up a dress-”

Great, she has to bring that up again. “But you didn’t offer me the option of not getting a dress,” I rub my temple. “I get that your heart was in the right place, but... I just felt like I was just having something dumped on me. Kinda like the whole of this situation. The only reason you’re dragging me along is that you’ve been forced to do so.” I nab another fry. Dang, these things even slightly cooled are still good. Alright, I’m dancing around some of the real issues here. But I would rather not talk to Rarity about any of those real issues. So, I might as well give her something that could be a buffer right?

“Darling, I didn't know-” She starts.

“I know that you didn't know, Rarity. And it was very generous for you to take a bit of time out of your busy schedule to draw up some designs. But everything has been feeling awkward as a whole because... well, I don't know, maybe I don't know my options here. And showing me or telling me what options are open to me could ease some of the tension here...” Fuck, this conversation is just so weird. Like we’re wasting time before the next freakout or horrible revelation or before we get to our-

“Alright, Fillies, Gentlecolts and other respected beings, thank you for riding with Amtrot,” Comes the fuzzy conductor’s voice over the train’s intercom. “If you look out the windows to your left, you will see that we are coming up on our next destination.”

“So, yeah Rarity, more options, or at least tell me what my options are.” I continue. “Cause sometimes? I can be pretty stubborn and-”

Spike taps me on the shoulder. “Hey, uhm, H.B.?”

“Yes, Spike?” He points to my left and I look out the window. “Alright! Finally! I get to know where we’re-” I stop in mid thought. I stop because that city skyline looks familiar, like I’ve seen it a dozen times over... “No... it can’t be... that was never fully canon! It can’t-”

“Fillies, gentlecolts and other respected passengers. Welcome to Whinneapolis and St. Pole, please gather your valuables and thank you for riding with Amtrot.”

Time to restate something that I am sure everyone knows by now:

The Universe hates me and I am starting to suspect that it purposely loves to fuck with me.

Author's Note

For those living outside of Minnesota? Where we've finally arrived might fly over your head. Here's a hint. Look at a google map.

Heartbreak in the City

Chapter 25

Heartbreak in the City

Spike nearly jumped over the table and was looking at the same city skyline that I am.

“Spike! If you need to get to the window, please say, ‘excuse me,’ instead of scrambling over the table like an ill-mannered foal!” Rarity exclaims, chiding him.

Spike’s spines droop and he looks at Rarity. “Uhm, sorry about that... I’m just really excited to see the city! After all, I’ve never been here before!”

I gape in wide eyed confusion about all this. Here it is. An Equestrian equivalent of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. I am attempting to process this information but as we pass the towering skyscrapers and quartz-crystal shaped buildings, I am finding myself hard pressed to know where to start.

Alright, it’s obvious to me that I did not expect this. After all, Whinneapolis was made mention only twice! I think. Well the only time I can think of was on a variation of the first comic book to be produced for the show. There was some sign post that had the name on it, and I was like, ‘Oh! Ha! Ha! Funny! I get it!’ But never did I think that this place actually existed.

Rarity points at some of the buildings. “Now, right there is the IDS Tower. That’s where the auction is going to be taking place tonight. Next to it is the Clopella and Wells Cargo Towers.”

'Clopella... tower...’ Oh geez, I swear every brony out there would be throwing themselves into giggling fits right about now. I mentally sigh. “I seriously hope that not every single thing that I know from the, ‘real world,’ has been mirrored and ponified over here.”

I shake my head, it’s just swimming too much in all of this surrealism. After all, if Minneapolis is ponified, maybe even Sunny Grove, the suburb where I was living, has been ponified.

Most likely however, no. I chuckle to myself and really hope that where I was originally from: Spokane and Otis Orchards, Washington don’t have ponified counterparts. That would really fuck with my chi here.

“You don’t say...” I reply distantly at Rarity.

“Oh, we’re coming up the Great River Bridge! This is always a spectacular sight!” Rarity unfolds a small map that she pulled from her saddle bag. As we start to pass over the bridge, Spike covers his mouth and points at a tree that is just at the entrance of this bridge. It’s covered with horse shoes that have been tied together with string. Once we get to the other side of the river, the train makes a sloping curve, however there is strange looking but familiar building. If you were to take a bunch of spheres, some cubes, a few cylinders, and a pyramid or two that were made of stainless steel, them mash them all up into an atheistically pleasing sort of way you would have the -

“The Weismare Art Centre! I have always wanted to go there, but seeing that I only visit Whinneapolis annually, and I rarely have any time for anything else...” Rarity says as the train passes by an assortment of really old looking granite buildings. “You know darling,” Rarity starts, her tone totally changing, “These two cities are only next to Canterlot when it comes to the arts! Why, many theatrical, musical and comedy events take place here all the time! Along with some very prestigious Equestrian artists and songwriters.”

“You don’t say...” I am still being balled by the fact that this place exists, and that I’m here to see it.

Rarity coughs and then sighs a bit. “Well, I’m going to freshen up in the fillies room before we arrive at the station.”

“Ok Rarity...” Spike replies as distantly as I do.

==============================================================

The train continued down the line, Spike eyed the strange buildings and then turned to Heartbreak. The look on her face was a mix of different emotions. Mostly shock, worry and disbelief.

“H.B.?” He asked.

“Yeah, Spike?”

“Are you alright? You look a little spooked,” he replied.

“Huh? What? I’m fine! Just... fine..” Heartbreak protested.

There was a solid moment of quiet between the two as the train continued to dip into and past the various streets and landmarks. Just then they passed a park, contained within was a sculpture of a very large bent spoon with a cherry on it. Heartbreak’s face twitched and her eyes followed the large oddity.

“So....” Spike said looking at Heartbreak.

“Yes, Spike?” Heartbreak asked as her eyes looked up at the various skyscrapers.

“When you said that our worlds were similar... I didn’t think you meant this similar!” Spike quipped.

Heartbreak turned and frowned at Spike. “You were looking at my drawings that I told you not to, didn’t you?”

Spike looked at Heartbreak a bit sheepishly. “It was before you told me not to look at them. I saw a few things that... well, are right here! It’s almost like you’re right back in your homeworld, right?”

Heartbreak bit her lip and glared at the surrounding city as the train started to approach the station. “Yeah...” She frowned at the various ponies that she saw on the platform as the train rolled into the station. “Almost.”

“Well, that’s great right?” Spike asked with a bit of excitement to his voice.

Heartbreak pulled herself away from the window and rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Great,” She replied in a low grumble.

“Is something wrong, H.B.?” Spike asked confused.

“No, can you help me with my saddlebags? I’m sure that Rarity will want to get the hotel as quickly as possible,” Heartbreak replied glaring out the window one last time before the train came to a full hissing stop.

==============================================================

As we get off the train, I am greeted by the sound of bustling voices. Coming to a city is always a bit of a weird feeling. You can feel utterly dwarfed by the immense scale of things. The fact that you can’t look up without seeing some massive structure smack dab in your face. Behind me there is a large square granite building that has a blue-green copper topped shingling on it. It’s almost castle-like in its design, what with those pyramid and cone spires placed neatly at the top of it.

Across the street from us, another building that threatens to touch the sky. The monolithic tower looks like a tall concrete, ‘u’ with a glass middle that goes all the way to the top. The large park-like area in front has a circular fountain that is more like a large pond with foaming white jets that push out from the surface of the water here and there. The water falls in a curtain to a circular basin. I can just make out a sign denoting what the building is.

“Whinneapolis Government Center.” Looking to my left, I can see the street intersections of 4th Ave S and S 5th Street. “Glad to see that not everything has been turned into a horrible pony-slash-horse pun...”

Suddenly I feel something tap my shoulder. “Darling, stop gawking. You’re blocking others who want out.” Rarity says tugging on me to move me out of the way.

I jump out of the way of any oncomers and they nod and smile at me. I nod and smile back politely. “It’s just really... big.”

Right, some would think that none of this is new. None of this should be a shock. But despite living in Minnesota near the Twin Cities for over a decade? I barely got out of the house that I was living in. The only times I ever got out was to my game and fur meets. Both events held at rather specific locations. And I was never the one doing the driving. Mainly because I never learned how to drive, and because the thought of driving scared me out of my mind. All those cars getting too close to me on the freeway and the thought of bumping the wheel accidentally resulting in an auto accident?

Yeah, call me a pansy, call me a wuss, but seriously. It was enough to keep me from driving for pretty much all my life. My girlfriend... my last girlfriend had to ask if I was ok when we were driving and another car got too close to us more than once.

“Excuse me, Ma’am!” Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by a strange smiling face of a teal stallion in a bellhop outfit. Eyeing his name tag I see that his name is... ‘M. Aid’? What the fuck? Seriously?

“M. Aid?” I say backing away from them.

“Magnificent Aid Colver, miss! But everypony calls me, ‘M.’ So, want that I take your saddlebags for you?” I look at my saddlebags hesitantly.

“No... but thank you,” I reply awkwardly.

“Darling, you’re gawking again,” she looks at the bellhop, “I presume that you’re from the Hoofington Inn?”

“Yes, ma’am! You must be Miss Rarity and-” He looks over at Spike and me. “Company?”

“That would be us!” She replies gleefully. “And I would be delighted if you were to take my bags.” Rarity points out the mountain of suitcases stacked and strapped to trolley.

M grins at Rarity. “Packing light today?”

Rarity turns to me and smirks for some reason. As if to hint to the fact that I complained about her over packing. “Just some of the essentials. Shall we get going? I want a little time to spruce up before we get to the party!”

“This motel isn’t too far is it?” I ask as we start to walk. M has saddled himself up with the trolley and seems to be pulling it along just fine.

“Ooh no,” he replies in a rather distinct Minnesota lit. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take your saddlebags, miss?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure I don’t want you to,” I reply. Spike sprints forward to catch up with Rarity. I shake my hoof to see if it is sore or not. It isn’t right now, but I can feel an ache starting. “And please, don’t call me, ‘Miss.’”

“Ma’am then?” He asks me as we hit an intersection. Across the street there are little walking signals. Well, I guess I could call them, ‘trotting signals.’ As we get there, the red standing pony figure turns to a white walking pony figure. “And are you sure? I mean this load is nothing compared to what I normally have to pull.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure. You don’t have to strain yourself on my account. And please don’t call me, ‘Ma’am,’ either. My name is Heartbreak,” Fuck. Did the Minnesota, ‘nice,’ get put in this city too? “Please call me, ‘H.B.’”

“H.B. you say? Are you sure I can’t carry your saddlebags?” He gives me a funny look as we get to the other side of the street. “You know, you almost sound like a native born Whinneapolian!”

“Oh, you don’t say...” I reply rolling my eyes. Fuck, with the way this pony is talking? I’m getting flashbacks from the movie, ‘Fargo.’ “And yes. I am very sure that I don’t want you to carry my saddlebags.” After all I told you how many times?! Fuck, there is the Minnesota nice and then there is just pushy. I attempt to catch up to Rarity and Spike.

However, M keeps trotting by my side. “Are you from around this area?”

==============================================================

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yeah, I’m not from anywhere near here.”

M smiled and pushed forward as they passed various street performers and artists. “Really? Where ya from then?” Heartbreak turned and nearly fought off a snarl. “Oh! Uhm, no need to get hostile now. I’m just making friendly chit-chat. I like hearing about where all stories that all the folk that come here have to tell. Whether they be pony, cow, donkey, mule, gryphon, the occasional open-minded dragon or whatever have you!”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes again and quickly glanced at M’s flank for a moment. She shook her head in confusion. “Uhm...question.”

“Yes?” M asked.

“If you’re a bellhop, why do you have a box and check as your cutie mark?” She asked.

Rarity looked back at the two. “H.B.! Manners!”

“What?” Heartbreak replied, confused.

“You’re going to have to excuse her. She’s foreign,” Rarity explained.

“Oh, it’s quite alright, Miss Rarity. Ya see, while I’m good at pulling stuff around, my real special talent is proofreading and spell checking,” M explained.

Heartbreak looked up and pointed at a sign. “Uhm, is this the Hoofington?”

“Yes, indeedie! Anyway, there are a lot of artists, writers and storytellers here in the Twin Cities, and so a lot of ponies with my talent type come flocking here too. Which would be great and all, but that means that practically anypony who is an artist or writer already has a proofreader. Sooo, right now? I’m kind of in the middle of this job until I can find somepony to help,” M continued as they got to the hotel door. “Here, let me get that for you,” he said attempting to open the door.

Rarity smiled and waited quietly while M strained to pull open the door.

Heartbreak facehoofed and glared at Rarity.

“Whaat?” she asked innocently.

Heartbreak gave Rarity an annoyed stare.“You really expect him to open the door too?” She asked.

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Darling, it’s part of his job. Besides, he’s more than willing to do so,” she replied. M smiled and nodded as he attempted to pull the door open. “Fine, then why don’t you do it, darling?”

Heartbreak sighed. “Shaky hooves, Rarity...Remember?”

Rarity grimaced. “Very well, Spike please open the door.”

Spike smiled pulled the door open. “Your wish is my command, m’lady!”

==============================================================

Finally we get up to our room. I swear, I don’t know what was taking us so long other than copious amounts of pointless chitter-chatter with the bellhop. I undo the belt buckle on my saddlebags and place them gently next to the bed before flopping down on it. As expected, it’s a very nice posh bed that has been neatly made up. The room looks exactly as I expect a hotel to look. Clean, neat and with generic decorations on the walls. There’s even a little mini-fridge and a small nightstand with what I can only assume is a call-button thing for room service. And of course, a chocolate mint on the pillow.

Well, ok, there was a chocolate mint on the pillow.

The chocolate slowly melts away in my mouth and I sigh contently for the moment. “Good fucking gods, I needed that.” It might seem silly to be getting my knickers, or in my current case, ‘overwear,’ in a bunch over all this. But good fucking gods. That, ‘Minnesota Nice,’ that existed in the, ‘real world,’ exists here. It’s the kind of nice where you don’t want to be mean to the other person because they are being nice, but they are insisting on being nice. Like aggressively nice. How many fucking times did I tell him that I was sure that I didn’t want him to carry my saddlebags?!

Spike hops next to me on the bed. “Sooo...”

Crap, he’s wanting to ask questions. “Not right now, Spike. Maybe later.”

“I just wanted to know how you were holding up there, H.B.” He crosses his arms. “No need to get defensive.”

I rub my temples before laying my arm over my eyes. Just something to block out the light. Block out the sun. “Right, yeah... I didn’t mean to...ugh... Forget it. I’ll be fine, Spike. I’m just a bit... tired. I’m going to lay here for a bit, while Rarity is in the bathroom getting ready. Kay?”

“Alright... but you know if you need to talk, your good buddy Spike is here to listen.” He pats my shoulder. The gesture is not unwelcome, but at the same time? I don’t feel like talking. I’m still processing. Still processing the fact that I am in a hotel that has a real world counterpart. “In the meantime? I’m going to polish my scales.”

Ugh, that last little bit totally wrecked what was a touching moment. No! I will not let my brain spoil that! No making jokes or remarks! He just wants to look nice for this stupid party! “Duly noted, Spike.” I lift my arm and give him a smile. “And... I’m glad you still think of us as... well... yeah...”

Spike shakes his head and walks over to the other side of the room where there’s a small dresser and mirror. He gets a fine bristled brush and starts grooming himself. “Anytime, H.B.”

I lay there on the bed for what seems like forever. In the bathroom, I can hear Rarity singing. She’s singing about looking nice for the party and what she plans on doing there. She’s singing about putting her makeup on and what have you. I sigh and zone it out. I just relax and zone out playing other songs in my head. Old songs from the show, songs that were on my YouTube playlist. Anything to keep out what is such a... ugh, ridiculous reason for singing. It’s not like we are cleaning up winter. It’s not like we’re going to the moon and back. It’s not like we’re even going to Canterlot. We’re just going to some party that is happening before an auction. “An auction, that if you’re lucky? You’ll get a house at.” Yeah, sure we will, because houses that are located in Ponyville that are cheap run on the market all the time, brain. “Hey, I said if you were lucky. Just be glad that-”

“Daaaaaarling!” Turning over, I see that Rarity is wearing, and here’s a big shocker, a dress. It’s a simple looking almost causal thing that might look like it has influences from the 1920’s or 30’s. I don’t know. But there is a small string of pearls that flow around her neck. Her mane has been put up and she’s wearing a little more blush than before. I think.

“So, what do you think? Too much?” She asks me.

Spike has gone all googly eyed and is practically drooling over it. “With you, there’s never too much...” he replies in a daze. Rarity blushes and smiles.

“Why are you asking me? I don’t know the first lick about dresses, remember?” I reply scratching at my cheek with my right hoof.

“Darling, I just wanted your opinion, not a full out critique,” she replies pouting a bit.

I roll my eyes. “Did you design it?”

“But of course!” She replies.

I turn my head and look at Rarity again. “Looks like what I would expect of your work, Rarity. You put your time, effort, energy and I am sure magic into making something that is both comfortable to the wearer and visually appealing. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to lay here for a bit and relax a bit more.” I turn my head back to the ceiling and go back to covering my eyes with my arm. Gods, I must be out of shape. That little walk from the train station to this hotel took a little bit out of me. I mean, I’m not sweating, but I’m still a bit tired and-

“Ehem?” I look over at Rarity who is trying to, ‘subtly,’ get my attention.

“Yes?” I ask.

“Aren’t you going to do anything to get ready for the party? A party, that, I might add, starts in fifteen minutes?” She asks me.

I quirk an eyebrow, then sniff myself. “Let’s see here. Don’t stink,” I adjust my hat. “Hat is on head, and I don’t have a wardrobe. Yup! I’m ready.”

==============================================================

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Has she no sense or interest in the slightest about looking remotely presentable? I was certain that she would at the very least want to take a shower.” “Darling, this might be a casual event, but there are going to be some important names attending this year. So you might want to try and look your best? Even Spike is making an effort in polishing his scales!” Heartbreak’s face twisted and she covered her face with her hat. “What? He is!”

“It’s nothing, Rarity,” Heartbreak replied, coughing hard.

“I need to get her to that party! Come on, Rarity. Twilight’s counting on you! Don’t blow this! What can we do to... Oh! Idea! Options! Show her what her options are.” “Oh my, with a cough like that, you sound like you might need to stay here...”

Heartbreak pulled the hat to the side of her face using her ankle. “I have the option of staying here, instead of going to the party?”

“Well of course you do!” Rarity replied, smiling. “Or at least that’s what I want you to think!” “Your options are: come to the party and socialize with some ponies, with one or two of them being a minor annoyance, or stay here in this quiet, lonesome, and isolated hotel room all by yourself!”

Heartbreak chuckled. “Oh you make one of those sound so horrible!” She started with a sarcastic lit. “Whatever shall I do? Woe is me with only two options! Wait. I know what I’ll do.”

Rarity hoped that Heartbreak wasn’t really being sarcastic and would make the right choice. “And that would be?”

“Stay here by my,” She began to over dramatize. “Lonesome self! Go on without me Rarity! The world of social parties and snooty ponies awaits you! No! Go on! I’ll be fine!” Spike adjusted a bowtie that he put on and rolled his eyes, before groaning.

“Darn it! I don’t have time for this! I really need to get her there!” Rarity thought, rubbing her temples. All this worry was causing her mane and tail to come undone! And at this rate? They would be lucky to catch any of the really juicy gossip that happened at these events. Just then, Rarity heard a ray of hope. Heartbreak’s stomach growling at her.

Heartbreak looked down at her stomach. “Seriously? I fed you on the train. Stop it already...”

“Getting hungry, H.B. darling?” Rarity quipped.

“What do you think, Rarity? Ugh, bodies. Always needing to be fed and junk.” She groaned.

“Well, I did make mention that there would be food at this party?” Rarity asked.

“If you didn’t, I think it was implied. But it’s cool. I can just order room service right?” Heartbreak asked.

“Darn it. She acts like she has an answer for everything! Alright Rarity, you can do this. You can get her to this party. It is important that you get her to this party! However-” “You could. That’s one option. After all the Hoofington is well known for it’s room service. Though, it is a rather expensive option. First there is the matter of the paying for the room service, the minibar-”

“I’m sure I can get a simple meal, Rarity,” Heartbreak replied scratching her side. “And I don’t have to worry about the minibar ‘cause I don’t drink alcohol.”

Heartbreak replied rolling her hoof. She peered at Rarity who was giving her a look. “Alright... I don’t drink much. If at all. And the last thing I need right now is alcohol.”

“That’s not what I was implying, darling. What I mean to say is that food here isn’t cheap. While at the party, the food shall be paid for,” Rarity replied. “Then there is the fact that if I let you stay here, then we would have to come back here, most likely early from the party, just so that we can come back and-”

Heartbreak raised a hoof and sighed. “Right. So my options are, stay here alone and have to pay for my own food. Or go with you to a party where, while the food is free, I have to deal with some snooty ponies?”

“Precisely!” Rarity said. “Sweet Princess Celestia! Why is she testing my patience so?!”

There was a quiet from the mare as she lay on the bed, back hooves dangling over the side and hat covering her face. “Fine... let’s get going and get this fetting thing done and over with already,” Heartbreak replied in a neutral manner before pushing herself off the bed. “Is there going to be more walking?”

“Of course not! We’re going to be using the lightrail!” Rarity replied, smiling proudly.

“The… light rail?” Heartbreak said facehoofing while her eye twitched.

“Yes, the light rail, Darling. You see it’s the-” Rarity began.

“I know what the light rail is, Rarity.” She took a deep breath. “Come on then! Let’s just get going already...”

Social Ungraces

Chapter 26

Social Ungraces

I feel like we haven’t even spent even a full five minutes in the Hoofington Hotel before we are on the move again. I asked that Spike help me with my saddlebags and Rarity said that we wouldn’t need them and that they were perfectly safe in the hotel.

I told her that I was hesitant in just leaving the only real possessions that I had in the whole of Equestria in a hotel room. She rolled her eyes and realized that we didn’t have time to argue. So, victory goes to me. Well, this little ‘victory’ thing goes to me... I guess.

As we walk, Rarity is yapping away about something I couldn’t care less about: The histories of the Twin Cities and how they were founded. Most all of it I already know due to the fact that it is nearly identical to that of the real Twin Cities. Even this, ‘Steel Pole,’ character that Rarity says that, St. Pole is named after sounds like whoever the fuck it was that founded St. Paul. Then she touches briefly on the technological boom they experienced when the Crystal Empire came back. Wait, that part does sound interesting. I idly wonder what exactly can be done with crystals as far as tech goes. Can they work like basic electronics? I know that they can store magical charges and images... Could it be possible to create a simple transistor with them? Can you actually grow circuits? Hmmm...

I look left and right down the line. “Sooo, where’s the train?” Off in the distance I see an odd thing that I’m not sure how to describe. It looks like a pulsating circle of rainbows that is growing bigger and bigger as it draws ever closer. Then suddenly, the whole thing seems to stop like a ship coming out of warp speed, with the rainbow effect wearing off.
“Gah!” I jump back in surprise and a bit of shock. Good fucking Gaia! I can feel my heart practically pounding in my chest now. Thank you very much strange rainbow coloured train! I didn’t expect that! Then again? This is Equestria. Land where everything is made of rainbows, pony farts and glitter. “Oh, there it is.”

“Do mind the curb, darling,” Rarity said, raising an eyebrow. “So, before we arrive at the party, I do think that it might behoove you to know some of the important names that are going to be-”

“Yeah, thanks for asking if I’m ok, Rarity. I’m sure that this thing is an everyday occurrence for you, but I’m pretty sure that you forgot that I come from a world without magic. Then again? You might be attempting to maintain the illusion. If that’s the case... I’m a fucking bitch... NO! Stop it! Stop monologuing and talking down to yourself already!” Looking up, the train looks pretty much like the lightrail train back home, save for the fact that it came warping in looking like a rainbow coloured comet. The wide windows show a good number of ponies and other creatures leaving their seats and heading out the doors.

As we sit down, Rarity continues to talk. Really, I might be seeming like a sourpuss about this, but I have a serious lack of care for those ponies that I am not going to be interacting with a lot! And when I don’t care? I tend to forget names. “Then again, I might remember them better due to the fact that I’ll have a name, cutie mark and some colours. Almost no two ponies are alike after all...”

Everything seems so fucking forced here. This party, the talk with M, Rarity’s insistent want to have me prettied up, even getting this house feels a bit wrong on some level. Sitting down I mull over the serious of events that has led up to this. Each one seeming to have either taken too long or been ultimately pointless. Especially that conversation with the bellhop. Ugh, it felt like the only reason we had that conversation was to highlight the fact that the ponies here in Whinneapolis sound like they are from Minnesota. With the, ‘Oh yeahs,’ and ‘You bet’chas’ and the ‘Minnesota Nice.’
That, ‘Minnesota Nice,’ was one of the reasons that I kind of stayed in Minnesota even after my attempted romance with, 'The Queen.' Fuck, I’m just going to call her, ‘She-who-shall-not-be-named’ fell through- The Train suddenly lights up and takes off with a jarring start and we are on our way.

“-and that’s just the minor guests. Now for the important names-”

Oh, Fffffffffet. Rarity is still talking... I turn and look at Spike. “Spike, how soon is it going to be before we get to the IDS Tower?”

Spike opens a schedule and looks back at me. “It says that it takes about ten minutes.”

“That’s not soon enough,” I reply.

==============================================================

The room was decked out with the normal decorations that every party like this had. Streamers and ribbons tacked high to the walls with balloons thrown into the mix to make everything seem just a little more friendly and inviting. A table was decked out with various local delicacies and orderves. A punch bowl with a sparkling pink drink was on the far end and a large chocolate cake decorated with small chocolate pony figurines placed upon each teer. Each of the ponies in this party had gathered into their small cliques. There where the entrepreneurs and the tycoons who were talking about the up and coming rising stars and who they thought was going to be the, ‘Newest best thing.’ While most seemed to only be here only because it was a place to be seen, others were talking about the things that were going to be at the auction.
Various objects, possessions, or babbles that had been reprocessed by the government as payment for fines or fees, when ponies couldn’t pay their taxes, or things that they just didn’t want anymore.

But for four stallions, who had gathered near the middle of the east wall of the room, none of these objects held any interest. While the other ponies here had their eyes keenly set on various prizes up for auction, these four stallions had their eyes on a far different sort of prize.

“If you ask me, these parties are just an outright bore, Manifest. Why do you continue to come, let alone invite me?” Prince Blueblood asked, swirling his drink in front of him.

“They might be a bore, Blueblood, but at least some of the eye candy is appealing,” a white stallion with a black mane replied, peering at the flank of a passing mare. His head tilted down to peer up her skirt. “Darn, overwear...”

“I think the better question is why we allow Smooth Talker in our little club. His overt perversions scare off any chance of having a proper conversation with any potential tags,” a pony with a green shirt and white sweater draped over his shoulder replied.

“Why, Jet Set, I was under the impression that you were a married stallion!” Prince Blueblood chuckled, taking a sip off of his glass in the most regal manner possible.

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t look at greener pastures upon which I would graze,” Jet Set replied with a wink. “After all, if Upper Crust chatters away with her click about which stallions she would romp with, then why can’t I?”

“Just as long as there is a, ‘look but don’t touch’ policy, there Jet?” Smooth Talker said, brushing his black slicked mane back.

“You could say that... Though I would rather that none of you make mention of our various tags and marks to my wife’s friends. The last time I didn’t hear the end of it,” Jet replied taking a bite out of a sandwich.

“A little trouble in paradise old chap?” Blueblood asked, smirking.

Jet Set glared at the Prince and pretended that the comment didn’t bother him. “Go ahead, laugh it up, ‘Old chap,’ the only thing that protects you is your sweet Auntie Celestia.” Just then, three individuals caught his eye as they walked through the door. Well, one individual in particular. Jet Set grinned. “I dare say, Blueblood, is that Lady Rarity?”

Blueblood coughed on his drink and turned just in time to see that Rarity indeed had entered the room. He straightened himself out as she passed by, nose in the air.

Manifest laughed at the Prince's discomfort. “I see that you’re just as eager to cross paths with her as always, Blueblood.” He took another drink as he watched a small dragon and the most rough looking mare tagging along with Rarity. He did a double take before looking at his drink. The mare’s mane and tail barely looked attended to, her coat only seemed to have the barest of brushings, and not even her fetlocks were trimmed! All of which was a stark contrast compared to the almost regal looking white unicorn that had just walked by. Her only redeeming quality seemed to be her eyes. They almost looked like sparkling blue sapphires.

"What ever do you mean? I always look forward to... Lady Rarity's presence..." Blueblood’s nose cringed. “Though perhaps with the company she is keeping these days? I do believe my reaction was acceptable...”

Manifest looked at the mare’s flank. “A black broken heart? Whatever does that mean?”

==============================================================

Rarity takes almost no time in waltzing into the room like the drama queen that she is. Fuck, I bet all the fetting ponies are looking at us. What I really hope is that they are looking more at her and not me.
Looking around the room, I try to play a wonderful little game that I came up with a while back called, 'Spot-the-background-pony.' And you’ve guessed it! The rules are simple enough to follow! First, scan the room! Then see how many background ponies you can recognize! For each one you recognize, you get a point. Extra points for more obscure background characters! Even more points if you can remember their names!

Oh hey! I’m able to score twenty points right off the bat! Prince Blueblood and ...uhm... what was his name...Upper Crust? No, that was the wife’s name. Uhm... Jet Set! Yeah! Score! They’re huddled in a small group with two other stallions I don’t recognize. But the moment that Rarity spots them? I can practically hear her snort and humph before raising her nose to the air and moving a bit faster.

I don’t blame her. Prince Blueblood was an over all pompous jerk and Jet Set was a shallow kiss-ass. And the way that the other two stallions in the group are looking at us? Yeah. Creepy.

Rarity wastes no time in leading us to a small table with a gaggle of mares happily chatting away. She smiles at them and one of them greets her with open arms. “Ooh Raaaarity!” I take note of that harsh Minnesota accent. Seriously, am I going to be hearing that everywhere I go while I’m here? I get it! Ha. Ha. Minnesota! HA-Fucking-HA.

Rarity starts to engage in the standard greetings and the two of them kiss at the air on either side of their faces, while I stand awkwardly behind. Hot Dish? Ugh! That name! Great for casserole, terrible for a pony! Kinda reminds me of a flash game I saw on the internet once called, “Stripper or Pony?” Though, it actually kind of fits what she looks like. She has a pasty complexion for a pony, her fur kind of the colour of a cooked cheese based casserole, that, ‘not-quite-yellow-white-ish,’ colour. Her mane looks like curly pasta noodles and is of more, ‘charred-yellow,’ yellow. She’s wearing a blue dress with a blue sun hat.

I'm not really paying attention to the two of them as they exchange pleasantries. It's just the whole of that midwestern accent just soaked into my brain. Ugh... I’m just waiting for them to start talking about hockey and pickled herring and anything else linked with Minnesota. I might be harping on this whole thing but fuck! Where they ever this heavy with letting you know something about a region in the show?! No! Stop it!

“Well, now, is this here a friend of yours, Rarity?” The question is enough to trigger my senses and wake me from my dazing. Fuck, that means I’ve been spotted.

Rarity bites her lip as she looks over me before sitting down. “Well, she’s more of an acquaintance who’s tagged along with me for the auction!,” Gee, thanks marshmallow butt. “H.B. would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Hhhhach Bee?” Hot Dish asks, murdering the English language.

Fuck, I really don’t want to have a conversation with these random ponies that I don’t know jack about. But. I don’t want to be impolite. Otherwise we’re going to have another, ‘Runaway-Train,’ incidence. “Heartbreak,” I grimace and then force a smile. “But I’d rather be called, ‘H.B.’”

“Ooooh! What a sad name there deary,” she says almost tsking. Right, sympathy coming from a pony with the name, ‘Hot Dish.’ That wouldn’t get made fun of back home. Oh, nooooo. Never in a thousand years would it ever get made fun of. Cripes, I feel more sorry for her imagining what it would be like growing up with a name like that. “Ya want’a sit a spell and chew the grass with us? Take a load off yer hooves then, there, now?”

“Aaa-actually, I was thinking that I could peruse the food table and sample some of the edibles. So, maybe later,” I reply, pointing my hoof over my shoulder.

“Oh...” Hot Dish replies blankly. “Well, do sample the tater tot casserole! I helped the cook make it!”

“I’ll be sure to do that!” I reply, fixing in a fake smile as I slowly back away.

“It’s got peas and potatoes and carrots in it! All sorts of good things! And tuna, don’tcha know!” She shouts out.

“Sounds... delicious!” Ugh! Must. Get. Away. From. Long. Goodbyes! “I’ll be back... don’t worry!”

“Put some fluff in your fur!” She calls out as I get even closer to the table.

ACK! “I’ll be sure to try it! I swear!”

==============================================================

Rarity sighed and shook her head as she watched as Heartbreak slip away.

Hot Dish shuddered. “Oh my, the last time I got a shoulder that cold is when Window Frost bumped into me after pushing her carriage from St. Pole back in December, don’tcha know!” She picked up her mug that smelled of hot coco. “Mmm, what’s her story then, there, now Rarity?”

“Oh,” Rarity paused. “Well, she’s... foreign.”

“Foreign? Really? I swear that she sounded like she was from around here. Or at least lived here long enough. Where about is she from?”

“A place called, Minneighsota, she’s an exchange student really! Much like a diplomat of sorts!” Rarity explained.

“Oh my!” One of the other mares exclaimed. “She’s a foreign diplomat?”

“Where is this, ‘Minneighsota,’ Rarity? I’ve never heard of such a place!” Another inquired.

“Well, Uhm, I don’t quite know. She doesn’t like to talk a lot about where she’s from and is something of an...” Rarity began.

Hot Dish watched as Heartbreak started to poke at the paper plates on the table. As if she was having trouble with picking them up. It didn’t take her long to grow frustrated and finally grab one with her mouth before glaring at the stack with a heated fury. “An eccentric?”

“Yes!” Rarity said nodding. “She’s somewhat of an eccentric artist who’s trying to find her muse as it were.”

“Oh my...” Hot Dish looked at Rarity with a bit of sympathy in her eyes. “I am so sorry, Rarity.”

Rarity looked confused. “Sorry, whatever do you mean? She’s a bit of a hassle sometimes but nothing I can’t handle!”

“That’s not what I mean, there now. What I mean is that when you two first walked in together, I thought that she was just some homeless pony that had followed you in off the street! I mean with the way she looks and a cutie mark like that....” Hot Dish peered over at Heartbreak’s flank.

Rarity giggled a bit. “Oh darling, it’s quite alright. H.B. is... special. Though we are actually here to see if we can find her a home in Ponyville. Her arrival and staying with us was something of a surprise you see. It’s almost like she just fell out of the sky!” She looked over to see H.B. attempting to pick a pear off one of the platters with her teeth while it kept falling back down. “Yes, our little Heartbreak is very special. Spike, could you be a dear and help her? After all, you know about her condition.”

Spike smiled at Rarity. “But of course!”

“Condition?” Hot Dish asked.

“Oh yes. You see she has a condition known as, ‘shaky hoof.’ It’s rather difficult to explain, but to summarize it,” Rarity took a drink from a passing waiter, and sipped it down. “She can’t pick things up with her hooves as other ponies do. She tries so hard sometimes to overcome her disability, but...”

“Oh, my.” Hot Dish said, covering her mouth. She placed a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Rarity, you have truly changed my view of you. Not only are you an exquisite dress maker with a wonderful sense of fashion, but you are just such a compassionate pony. It really warms my heart to see you helping others like that.”

Rarity smiled while biting her lip. “That’s so nice of you to say, Hot Dish...”

==============================================================

I glare at the fare on the table as it mocks me. Daring me to attempt to put it on a plater that I can’t hold. I could attempt to pick it up with my lips, but now I am getting funny looks from the thin looking gryphon chef. Plus there’s the point of hygiene. I’m sure that other ponies or creatures here don’t want my mouth germs all over the place.

“Would madam care for some assistance?” he says with a nearly forced french accent. He waggles his taloned fingers in preparation to load my plate.

I know he’s just doing his job, and he most likely doesn’t mean any offense, but that, ‘madam,’ is just a bit more-

“That will not be necessary, my good chef!” Spike says as he swoops in to save the day by snatching my plate. I sigh a little. I rely on him way too much. The griffon quirks an eye and nods before sniffing the air.

“Oh mon dieu! Ze petites saucisses smell likes zhey are done!” He walks over to the other side of the table where a small roster of sorts is cooking... sausages? Alright, that has my attention. Almost instantly when he lifts the lid covering them I can feel my mouth start to water and my stomach growls at me. The chef wafts the aroma to his nose and takes a deep breath. It doesn’t take long for that same smell to come my way. I sniff it. It almost smells like actual sausages... The smell is right, but would they actually serve real meat at a party with ponies? Fuck, if that smell gets any stronger? We're going to have an, 'Applefarm,' moment again.

Just then I feel Spike’s claw tap on my shoulder. He tilts his head back towards the gossiping gaggle that Rarity has nested in. “Care to explain what that was all about?”

I turn and start walking in the direction of the chef. How to answer that question... “I’m just hungry, Spike. Plus, like I’ve explained before: I don’t like parties. Let alone being forced to interact with others that I am sure I don’t have anything in common with...”

Spike smacks his face. “And you know that you don’t share anything in common with them after a brief conversation with them.”

“I know enough to know that I would be constantly judged and picked apart. Not only that, but they seem to be the type of ponies that like to gossip. And you know how I feel about that.”

Spike just rolls his eyes. “So you’re going to give them the cold shoulder just so that you don’t have to interact with them?”

I bite my lip. “You’re not going to get on me about, ‘making fffriends,’ too, are you? ‘Cause I’m not Twilight you know. And most likely? I’ll never see any of these p-p-ponies again, Spike.”

“That’s no reason to be rude...” Son of a bitch. How the fuck am I going to get out of this conversation? Just then the Chef pops what looks like a little smokey sausage in his mouth. He chews it up and looks thoughtful.

“Mmmmm! Magnifique!” He says kissing his fingers. Alright, he sorta kisses them. In the show? Griffons had flexible beaks and teeth. Upon close inspection? That’s sorta true. Sorta. He looks like he has teeth and his beak looks like it flexes a little. But either way it looks weird.

“I take it they taste really good-” I ask pausing to look at his name tag. “-Gavril?”

“Wei, zhey almost taste like zee real thing. Almost,” he replies.

“Almost?” I inquire.

“Well... Zey lack a certain... zomesing that real me-” He suddenly quirks and looks at me. The expression on his face is, and I hate to put it like this, but it’s priceless. “Well... it iz... There iz... a certain zavor that ponies cannot truly appreciate...”

I quirk a brow. “Would it be something that you’d feed your own fledglings?” He looks back and forth in a confused manner and then back at me. “Something wrong?”

“Uhm, non. Iz just zat thiz iz zee longest conversation about ze quality about a-” He coughs.

“Meat like product?” I ask looking up at him. Fuck, I don’t even want to know what emotion or expression I’m giving him right now. I just want his... I am not going to finish that thought. Nope! “Not that I would compare a...” Fuck, I hope I don’t sound like a kiss-ass here. “Fine chef’s fares to common street food, but they do have hot dogs right? I would hope that they would at least try to taste something like the real thing.”

He’s still looking at me with a confused expression. A confused and worried expression actually. “Well, common hot-dogs do not have ze same flavor as what I have cooked, despite being made of soy beans.”

“Do they have the same... texture?” He blinks and now looks even more frightened. Seriously? I would have thought one of these ponies would have had a conversation like this with him! “Like I asked. Would it be something you’d feed your fledglings?”

“If Ah had any fledglings to speak of? Maybe?” he replies.

“I would like some then, five if you don’t mind,” I reply. Both Spike and Gavril look at me with a strange look. Then I elbow Spike and he holds out his platter. Gavril pokes five of them with a long wooden skewer before setting on my plate. “Oh, and if you don’t mind, I’d like some of that hot-uhm...casserole.”

==============================================================

Spike took the platter of food over to an empty table that was a bit closer to the entry way. He set it down and looked at Heartbreak. She greedily eyed everything from the casserole, to the sausages and the celery sticks that had ranch dressing on them.

“Are you sure you want to eat here, alone?” Spike asked, sighing a bit.

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “I’m a big... p-pony Spike, I’m sure that I can take on the challenges of eating.”

“No, what I mean is that wouldn’t you like to eat with the others?” He asked pointing at the table Rarity was at.

Heartbreak looked apprehensive. “Yes, Spike. I’m sure that Rarity and them would be appalled at my eating habits and lack of proper party etiquette. After all,” she licked her lips and bit into one of the mini-sausages on the plate. “I wouldn’t want Rarity to lose some deal because she had brought me along.”

“She really does care about you, H.B.,” Spike replied looked a bit sad.

Heartbreak chewed and swallowed the substitute meat. She blinked a little, smiled wide, and licked her lips before turning to Spike. “Oh, hey! Did Gavril bring out the desserts?” She asked pointing at the table.

Spike gave Heartbreak a look. “Do you think I’m going to fall for that- Oh hey...he did! Ooo! Fiery cinnamon crisps!”

“You’re going to be ok, right? Cause I’m going to-” Spike said as he started walking back.

Heartbreak smirked “I’ll be fine. Just save me a few. And Spike?” The little dragon paused. “Thank you.”

Spike chuckled. “Anytime, H.B.!” He said while giving Heartbreak a fake salute and scampering to the dessert trays.

Gelding Egos

Chapter 27

Gelding Egos

The tuna hot dish was pretty decent. Nothing that I would write home about, but still... it’s nice to know that I can eat some form of meat. Despite the fact that it’s made of fish. And the sausage? That was more than pretty decent! That was fetting awesome! I mean for being a meat-substitute and all.

There was a nice smoky, garlicky, salty, sweet, charred taste to that first bite. Though the chef, Gavril was it? I look over at the chef and check his name tag. Yup, Gavril. Was right, the texture does leave a little to be desired. It’s too... smooth. Not enough roughness. Oh well, the expression on his face is amusing at least. I bite down into another one just to see what happens. He continues to give me that weirded out look. Just then a couple of passing ponies eye my platter and give me the same look. I just snort at them and proceed to rip the remaining links off the skewer. They don’t faint but the expression is, once again, priceless.

After savoring my somewhat meaty treat, I look at my empty platter. “That was a nice little snack... but now what?” Yeah, really. Now what? Looking around the room I still see nothing but stuffy ponies dressed up and talking among themselves. I decide to take a catalog of the ponies here. Well, sort of. Most of these ponies look to be of the upper middle class or the well to do. Ugh... I just realized that I might have to look at their asses just to figure out what they do...

“May I take your plate?”

Who’s talking to me now- Oh, one of the waiters. “Uhm, yes. Go right ahead. Thanks.”

Let’s see, there’s a small group over there in the far left corner just opposite to where Rarity is seated. I can’t make too much out from where I’m at, but they all seem to be stallions. Then an odd thing strikes me. One of them is your generic somewhat muscled purple pegasus stallion with a white mane and a, oh geez, yellow sports jacket. His mark?

A football helmet. My ears perk in their direction.

“So, how’s the team doing this year?”

“Oh a bit better than last,” he replies. “Got some good strong fliers this year-”

He’s talking with a dusty blue colt who is on the thin side. He has a red mane and a white jacket. Oh, and surprise, surprise! A baseball cap as a cutie mark. I was never into sports but I still recognize them both.

“Seriously? Ponies based on sports teams? A Vikings and Twins pony? I’m sure you think you’re being funny Equestria, but booooooring. Right, who else is there? Oh right, Blueblood and company.” I bend my head back and see that they are still in the same spot that they were before.

Blueblood points at one of the mares and the other three cock their heads and laugh a bit. A snippet of the conversation enters my ears.

“Mark or tag?” He asks in a horrible, snooty sounding voice.

“Oooo, I’d tag that,” the creepy one with the black mane says.

“I’d mark and tag,” Jet Set replies.

They laugh some more and start to grin. Oh, I know the grin that is on their faces. That’s the grinning of four guys who are on the, ‘prowl.’ How do I know this? I mean I’ve never been out, ‘prowling,’ in my life and I hated both the bar and party scenes.

The answer is easy. The internet.

These four are in your stereotypical, ‘Ooo, look at us! We’re rich stallions! Watch out mares!’ Ugh, all that’s missing is a fucking car scene while the four of them bang their heads to the song, ‘What is Love?’ I sniff the air from my awkward upside-down facing position. Ugh! There’s a variable that makes this equation almost that more volatile and just as likely to end in a terrible 80’s montage. They’re drinking. Yay! Another advantage of being equine! Heightened sense of smell!

Fuck if I know what they’re drinking though. Maybe it would have been a good idea to go sit with Rarity and crew after all. I point my head back in the direction of said table. Come on ears, you have your stupid advantage, pick up a conversation worth listening to!

“You bet’cha there, Rarity darling! I was talking with my grandma and she was sharing with me some of the best ways of-” Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that shit! Ugh! I have the choice of listening to sports ponies, ‘wild stallions,’ who are most likely talking about, ‘marking and tagging’ and Hot Dish’s Minnesota accent saturating my ears!?

One of these fucking ponies needs to invent an iPod or at least a Walkman. Hmm, they would call it a... Trotmare, a Walkmare? Ugh... I should have asked about that sort of thing or at least look up a list of Equestrian tech when we get back from this travesty of an adventure. Wait, did I call it a, ‘travesty?!’ Fuck! No! I don’t want to be thinking like Rarity! Train wreck! Yes! This has been something of a slow train wreck!

“Alright, it hasn’t been all bad. Popfizz’s soda was really good, as were the fries on the train. I also liked the sausages. Hmm, I wonder if I should get more to eat...”

Spike is busy looking over the list of things on the wall that are no doubt up for auction. And I really don’t want to bother him to get me more food. He already does too much for me as it is... Gods I am bored! This is one of the things that I am finding even more difficult in my ‘adjusting to being a pony,’ and was painfully highlighted with my little talk with Starchaser.

The world of ponies is woefully without a great deal of technology. And when you are constantly bombarded with information brought to you by your technology? Your attention span shrinks to nearly zero. But ponies and technology? Why would they need it in the first place? They have fucking magic! The great number of technological advances that humans made were due to our, well, their limitations. Magic kind of kills that. Once you can do anything, what’s the point of making a tool or device that does the job?

Just then I feel my ears flick back just in time to hear more of Blueblood’s little posse talking.

“What about the tan one? Mark or tag?” One of them asks. Fuck! Nooo! I don’t want to hear this conversation! I don’t need to hear this conversation! Please ears, come on, turn back the way you were before!

“Don’t know,” the creepy one says. “That cutie mark is kind of off putting...”

“You turn down a chance to mark or tag, Smooth Talker?” Smooth Talker? Ugh! That name alone makes me want to scour myself in a scalding hot shower! Still, I can count my lucky stars that he’s put off by me.

“There’s just something about her... kind of ...creepy, ya know?” Ha. Now that’s funny. I’m creeping out the creeper. “Then again...” No! No, ‘then again!’ Just pass me over! “Hmm, maybe if I was desperate. That messy tail? She might be an eccentric tag, might dig some of the more unusual stuff if you catch my drift? Maybe a crop and some-” I can feel my lunch start to try and gorge on me and I quickly cover my ears to block out the noise. Fuck no! Why, ears!? Seriously! I’d rather hear Hot Dish talk about her grandmother’s sewing habits or how she makes that tuna casserole! Fuck! I would even listen in on the Viking and Twins ponies! Anything but this!

I look over at my saddle bags that have been placed on the chair next to me. Yes! I can tune them out using that! Using my leg, I pull the chair closer to me and quickly dive my face into the bag. I am feeling leery about using my mechanical pencil in public. I know it’s mine, and I might have been drawing on the train, but this is a more open place. Time to finally break out those pencils that we bought from Ghost Writer.

Pulling them out of the bag, my teeth bite into them and I realize something. “Mint flavor?” The pencils have a minty taste to them. What the... Well. I guess there are things that even ponies don’t like tasting. My eyes look back at the cackling wolves in pony’s clothing behind me. “Congratulations Ghost Writer. You’ve gone from, ‘leech,’ to ‘mildly irritating,’ in my book. And all it took was almost losing my lunch.” Right. I’m just going to get to drawing. Hopefully my ears will follow the movements of my pencils and not the sounds of the conversation behind me.

==============================================================

Manifest chuckled before taking another sip of his brandy. It was a smooth old brandy with a good number of fruity tones to it. Some would say that it wasn’t a, ‘Stallion’s drink.’ “But then again, some don’t have an appreciation for the finer things in life.” He glanced at the tan mare with the broken heart that they were currently assessing. Suddenly she become uncomfortable and shot them all a narrow eyed glare before turning around to rummage through her saddlebags.

“Smooth Talker old chap,” Manifest said, leaning near the perverted pony. “Are you certain that you put up that... what was it called again... Encryption spell?”

“Yeah, I put it up just as the four of us arrived,” he replied, his laughing subsiding. “Why do you ask?”

“That mare you were just talking about was giving us the most dreadful of stink eyes. Like she knew what we were talking about,” Manifest said looking worriedly at his drink. The magical green aura was starting the waiver and waffle about, causing the drink to tilt and wobble. “Maybe I should stop, the alcohol is starting to affect my concentration.

“Humph, you worry too much, Manifest.” Blueblood interjected taking a long drink off his wine glass. “If anything, she’s most likely bored to tears over hearing us talk about stalks, bonds, our inheritances and a few other choice trivialities. Though speaking of inheritances...” He looked at Manifest. “You seem to be enjoying yours quite well. What has it been? Three or four months last the old steed finally kicked the bucket?”

Manifest glared at Blueblood. “Humph, yes,”

“What’s the matter there M.D.?” Jet Set asked. “Clearly you are enjoying yourself! And about time too! If I recall correctly, he had you pinned quite hard under his hoof! Never giving any quarter, always looking at you with disappointment. And then after he finally keels over? A large inheritance!” He took a long drink off his cocktail while giving Manifest a half-hug. “I would say that is a reward well earned, wouldn’t you?”

Manifest snorted and pushed Jet Set away. “As the commoners would say, ‘whatever.’”

“No need to be a, ‘downer,’” Blueblood said putting hoof quotes in the air.

“Look, I just would rather not talk about such things at my parties!” Manifest said, glaring at the Prince.

“Whoa! Whoa! ‘Chill-out.’” Prince Blueblood replied backing away, his ears drooping a bit.

“Yeah, what’s your, ‘deal,’ anyway, Manifest?” Jet Set asked. “You have your money and freedom. What more could you want?”

“Ha! Manifest is just cranky because he hasn’t had a good mark or tag in months,” Smooth Talker explained, a strange grin going over his face. “He hasn’t even pulled a single tail ever since his old steed up and-”

Manifest snorted and pushed his face up to Smooth Talker’s. “I could get a mark, tag, or tail anytime and from any mare I please!”

Smooth Talker pulled back. “Touchy much?”

Prince Blueblood chuckled. “Fancy putting your money where your mouth is, Manifest?”

Manifest stomped his hoof down. “Are you making a wager that I can’t?”

Smooth Talker smirked. “I’d take a wager that you can’t to the tune of what... five hundred bits?”

“Pocket change,” Blueblood replied, taking another drink. “I would go no less than a thousand bits. And I’ll make the wager that he can.”

Smooth Talker looked thoughtful and chewed on his lip. “Yeah, I can spare a thousand. I’m in on this!”

Manifest glared at the both of them. “How is it that my love life has become sport for your gambling habits?”

“Hey, you were the one that said that he could get a mark, tag or tail from any of the mares here,” Smooth Talker replied. “Though most of the mares here are pretty easy pickings. I think you could could get at least some tail from Hot Dish over there.”

“Hmmm. Quite so, quite so... let’s make this a real challenge,” Blueblood replied, pretending to look around. “Ooooh, let’s say... her.” He said, pointing at the lone tan mare.

“The one that looks like she has been traveling through the countryside all day?!” Manifest protested, his words slightly exaggerated with inebriation.

Smooth Talker tapped his chin and reassessed the mare, “Hey, if you don’t think that you can pony-up on the eccentric mark over there? I’m willing to take a shot!”

“I said no such thing! It’s just that she looks like a ruffian! Sporting that green military like creation? And not even a single bit of formal wear! I mean look at her...” He tilted his head and looked over the mare’s subtle frame. Her almost generous flanks... Her wild unkempt mane and tail. “She’s practically... naked,” Manifest said, his words starting to slow down. The group chuckled.

“Manifest, methinks you’ve had too much, most all ponies go around naked,” Jet Set said snickering. “Well, unless you mean that she might as well not be wearing any overwear."

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact that this friends had just pointed out that he hadn’t had a good mark, tag or tail in a while. But something was rather striking about her on a second glance. Something, appealing. Almost dark and mysterious...

Smooth Talker slid up to Manifest. “Soooo, you going to do it? Cause I’ve got five hundred that says that you can’t.”

Manifest glared Smooth Talker before drinking the rest of his brandy. “Waiter! Refill!” He shouted. Not seconds later did a waiter quickly refill his glass. “Ha! I can mark, tag and tail this one, even without your silly wager!” He replied, swaggering across the room to where she sat.

==============================================================

Ahh, thank you drawing. I was right for once. Focusing on my drawing does indeed tune out a good number of the unwanted conversations and sounds. My ears are totally focused on the drawing in front of me. Though because I haven’t been practicing with my mouth as much as my hoof?

Ze art? She is suffering.

Oh, it’s certainly far better than what I could first do. And yeah horse lips have far more dexterity than I give them credit for. But fuck. My hoof is where my creative muse really springs from.

I haven’t been sketching anything in particular. Just something abstract. Something that doesn’t have any real form but at the same time has a bit of design. Sharp curves and tiny points all moving around and swirling around. Right now it doesn’t look like much, but still, it’s something that keeps my attention off everything around me. Especially that horrible conversation behi- Just then, a red something enters my field of vision to my right and the smell of some sort of brandy hits my nose sharply. Fuck. No, please no. I’m just going to ignore him and really hope that he-

He clears his throat and I can feel him looking at my artwork. “That’s a very lovely...” He pauses. He most likely can’t make heads or tails of what I am drawing. “I dare say... uhm... what is that?”

Fuck. Do I really have to answer? Sigh. “Abstract,” I reply curtly. Out of the corner of my eye I can see that he has green eyes and a brownish mane. He’s wearing what appears to be formal wear.

“Oh,” he replies, blankly. “For a moment I thought you were drawing oddly shaped noodles.” Strike one. Well, maybe strike two. Coming over here was strike one. But strike two? Insulting an artist’s work while they are drawing.

“Can I help you with something?” I ask in annoyance. I’m kinda considering taking off my hat just to express my body language here.

“Well!” He begins before taking a sip of his drink. Ugh! I know I keep harping on the alcohol, but that smell! Really!? “I could not help but notice that a lovely mare like yourself was sitting here all by her lonesome self. So, I thought that I would be a gentlecolt, come over here and see if I could get to know you better.”

Ha. Yeah, right. I heard the conversation that you four were having. How the hell could you have a conversation like that in open public?! Seriously! I would be saying these things to his face but I’m still hoping that my blocking him off will send the message that he should just go back to his little cohort of perverts. "Yeah, strange that. It was almost like I wanted to be alone. By myself...”

“You’ll have to excuse my rudeness. But my name is Manifest Destiny.” What. The. Fuck? Seriously? What kind of fucking name is that?! The pony names at this party are just a terrible lot. ‘Hot Dish,’ ‘Smooth Talker,’ ‘Manifest Destiny?’ What, was the guy in the pony name creation division drunk or something? We have a food pony, a perv pony, and a pony named after a horrible act of unjustified racism against the Native Americans!

“Calm yourself, H.B. He doesn’t know that. Let’s just find a way of making him go away.” “That’s nice.”

I catch his expression out of the corner of my eye. It’s a perplexed and baffled expression. His head turns, no doubt to look at the other stallions. And then he returns to his former drunken resolve. “And your name would be...?”

I want to bang my head against the table now. That might be a little over dramatic, but fuck. I don’t want to be talked to or flirted with by some drunken rich stallion named, ‘Manifest Destiny.’ “Heart. Break,” I reply through gritted teeth.
He’s suddenly taken aback. “Heartbreak?” he blinks in confusion. “By Celestia, who would ever name their foal that?”

Yeah, you’re one to speak, ‘Manifest Destiny.’ I’m going to leave my replies to a low growl now...

“I mean, uhm...” He takes another drink. This is going to turn ugly if I don’t stop it right now. “That is a lovely abstract,” he says, his words slurring a little.

I take a deep sigh. Let’s try putting what I am feeling into nice words like Rarity wanted us to. “Look. I’m not really here to socialize, I was more or less dragged here by Rarity and would very much like to be left alone until the auction starts. So if you don’t mind-”

He waves his hoof in the air. “But this is a party! The point of a party is to have fun! Chat with friends. Eat fine food...” He then waggles his eyebrows at me. “Mingle?”

I feel myself sicken at the implications of what he could mean by, ‘mingling.’ “Yeah, no, I don’t do, ‘mingling.’ I would much rather just be here drawing.”

“Hey! Manifest! What kind of mark or tag is she?!” Smooth Talker shouts from the other side of the room. “And have you gotten a mark or tag on her yet? Come on! I have five hundred bits riding on this!”

My face twitches. Alright, I get what’s going on. The rich folk are having some sort of game going on here. I’m the new mare and a cold fish. They want to, ‘break me in,’ and ‘warm the cold fish up.’ I shudder and turn my head glaring at Smooth Talker. As I do so, I can almost see him jump a little.

“You were right, old chap! She is an eccentric mark! Excuse me but-” He starts.

I push my chair out and snort while getting up. “Oh, yeah, you’re charming. Excuse me. I think I’ll just go back to sitting with the other mares if you don’t mind.”

“Was it something I said?” He asks innocently. Like I am going to even dignify that with a fucking response. I’m just going to get out of here. Ugh. I pick up my things and put them back in my saddlebags. I pick them up in my mouth and turn to walk over to Rarity’s table. However, Manifest seems to be determined to get his, ‘mark,’ as he steps in front of me. “Please, do forgive me, it has been a while last I was graced with the presence of a lovely mare like yourself.”

“Gee, I haven’t any clue as to why that would be,” I reply in the most sarcastic manner possible. Fuck, why aren’t I just ripping this stallion a new one and sending him into a crying ball by now? Right, we’re at a social event and I’m worried about what Rarity will think. I’ve already put her through so much stress as it is, I don’t need to add any more. “If you don’t mind-”

He zips to the right and gives me a smirk. “Please, I only wish to get to know you a bit better, there’s nothing wrong with that is there?”

I take a deep breath. “Right. I’ll give you a crash course in, ‘knowing me better.’ Hi. My name is Heartbreak. There! All done. Now if you don’t mind-” I begin to step forward again.

“Surely there is more to you than merely a name, Miss Heartbreak.” Fuck, my, 'don't be a bitch,' dam is starting to crack... “After all,” he puts on some fake sounding floaty accent that is meant to make him sound more sophisticated, “A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet,” he quotes, leaning over and attempting to... Fuck! NO! No smelling me! I jump away as quickly as I possibly can.

“Don’t. Ever. Do that,” I snap under my breath. “Please.”

“Forgive me, but was I perhaps a bit too forward?” He asks me.

I look at him glaringly. “Yes, yes you were. Now excuse me-” I turn back only to find that he teleported in front of me.

“Please, my dear, I only ask that you give me a chance.” He takes another drink and leans forward. The glittering green magic aura hasn’t yet faded from his teleportation spell. “All I ask is for a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, perhaps a few drinks? Maybe even come and chat with my good fellows over there?” I look glaringly at the three other stallions in this gang. Blueblood is smirking and laughing with Jet Set, while I swear Smooth Talker appears to be pouring a small vial of something into a drink. Right, I don’t have to be female to know that this is a bad idea.

“I have a better idea. How about no? After all the party scene isn’t really my thing and-”

“Well, if it isn’t your thing,” He starts his voice getting all low and growly. “Perchance we skip this party and have a time on the town? I am a rather rich stallion after all! I could buy you anything you wanted!” He lurches forward slightly and attempts make what I can only guess are bedroom eyes, only to spill a good deal of his drink in the process. His attempts are so sad, it’s pathetic.

“Maybe if you’re so rich you could buy yourself a clue,” I mutter under my breath.

“What?” He asks.

“What?” I reply awkwardly.

“Well? It is a generous offer I’m giving you. It’s not everyday I offer a commoner like yourself a chance to go out on the town with me, Miss Heartbreak.”

What. An. Ego.

I’m surprised that he didn’t call me a, ‘dirt pony,’ while he was at it. Fuck, how the fuck do I handle this?! I can feel the rage starting to build up and I just want to repeat what I did with Big Mac. Only this time, purposely. But he sounds like he’s somepony of importance here! Fuck! What do I do! Do I shout out for Rarity or Spike?! Come on brain! Think!

I look down at the puddle on the floor. Then an idea strikes me. An awful, terrible, wonderful idea...

==============================================================

“What’s that, magic puddle?” Heartbreak asked, her head bent down near the spilt drink on the floor. “That’s a great idea! Huh? Yeah, oh wow! You don’t say! Please go on!” She nodded her head and smiled before gasping. “No way! Ha! I bet the look on his face was-”

Manifest looked confused and quirked an eye at the sudden nonsensical action that the mare before him just took. “Excuse me. But, just what are you doing?” he asked, some of his words slurring slightly.

Heartbreak frowned. “How rude. Excuse me for a moment.” She waved her hoof at the puddle. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” Her head popped up and she looked at Manifest in an annoyed manner. “What’s it look like I’m doing?”

Manifest blinked. “It... would appear that you are conversing with a puddle of brandy.”

“And appearances for once would not be deceiving you! Now if you don’t mind-”

“But... why?” He asked.

Heartbreak stopped and took a deep breath, a small smirk forming on her face. “Well, you see... I was growing tired with the failing attempts of you trying to flirt with me and the horrible conversation you were attempting to have with me. And there was a puddle of brandy that was spilled on the floor. Being an, ‘eccentric?’ I figured that it would give me a far more entertaining conversation than you ever could be.” Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “After all, it is infinitely more complex and has far more depth than you could ever hope to possess.”

Manifest blinked. “But... it’s only a puddle.”

The tan mare’s eyes narrowed and a grin formed on her face. “Precisely,” she replied as her face twitched and her tail swished back and forth in an almost cat-like manner. “And I don’t have to worry about it making wagers on me about whether it can, ‘mark, tag, or tail’ me either!”

Manifest felt like a colt that had just had just been caught pilfering the cookie jar. The cold shock brought his senses back to a little bit of sobriety. “But-I-how- Smooth Talker has an encryption spell up! You should have been hearing about stock figures and transactions!”

“So that’s why...” Heartbreak’s brow deeply furrowed and her eye twitched before she took a deep breath and recomposed herself. “Guess I just happened to break your code, huh? But does it matter? What matters is that it was almost too easy to figure out what you four were up to. And if it was that transparent to me? I’m sure that it was to everyp-pony else here. So please,” she nearly stomped a hoof forward at Manifest causing him to flinch and swallow hard, “Just go back to whence you came.” Her eyes darted at the three other stallions. “And remember when a mare says, ‘No,’ she means, ‘No.’ Do you understand?”

“Well, I-” Manifest started to fumble on his words. “Are you sure I can’t offer you a drink? Try starting the conversation over?”

“Wrong answer,” Heartbreak replied, clicking her tongue and rolling her eyes. “You want to have a conversation? Alright, let’s talk about you, Manifest Destiny. You certainly like your alcohol. Tell me, how much did all this cost you? I can’t imagine it would be anything cheap.”

“I told you, I’m rather wealthy! I just came into my inheritance a-a-and-” Manifest began to stutter.

“Came into your inheritance you say? My, my, my. Who had to die for that to happen? Mom? Dad? Great lost uncle?” Heartbreak began to probe.

“I-i-if you h-have to know, it was my father!” Manifest sputtered out.

“And how long ago was that?” She asked.

“F-f-four months...”

“Four months! You recover pretty fast and were rather quick to start spending it all on booze and parties! I bet your father would be proud. Tell me, how did he come about into his fortune?” Heartbreak asked, her eyes narrowing further.

Manifest blinked and looked at those eyes once again, they had gone from pretty and sparkling to downright malicious and threatening. Stranger yet... they almost seemed to warp the light that reflected off them. “H-h-he was a granite barron, he owned a good many quarries in the local area a-a-and helped build most of this c-c-city!”

Heartbreak got up in the stallions face. “And here his son is, boozing it up with his buddies and macking on random mares that he doesn’t have any genuine interest in. Just those he would rather make wagers on whether or not he can get them into his bed covers. How. Lovely. You must have had a wonderful relationship with dear old dad now, didn’t you?”

Manifest’s facade started to crumble. His buddies had only touched lightly upon his problems with his father. This, ‘Heartbreak,’ who only knew what he had told her in not even casual conversation, had pulled them all out and was prodding them like a foal with a sharp stick on the shore of the beach. “I-I-I...”

Her expression softened slightly. “You know what? You’ve suffered a bit of trauma and a great loss. I can relate. I really can. But my advice? Instead of throwing expensive parties, why not go back home and think about your life? Think about what you are going to do with your money... that is... while you still have money to do things with.”

==============================================================

There. Sharp, cutting and it even ended with some good advice. I might have been nicer about all this but he was being so fucking persistent! Then again, looking at him, I think I might have done my job of shattering his ego a little too well. There are tears starting to well up in his eyes, the glass of brandy wobbles before dropping to the floor and shattering. He backs up and turns away before running past his friends.

Suddenly, I realize that all the ponies are staring at me. They are all shocked into a bit of a stunned silence and some of their mouths are agape.

That’s when the whispers start.

“Can you believe she just talked to him like that?” “Jeez, I can’t imagine-” “What did she do-” Little snippets of things that I can’t quite make out, but all the ponies around me are looking at me. Fear is starting to grip me as they stare at me. Then I look up and see Rarity’s face. The whispers must have gotten to her as well, because her face is one of horrified shock.

That confidence I was feeling when slicing and dicing Manifest? Yeah that’s gone and in it’s place is panic.

My breath is starting to get caught in my lungs and my eyes are darting back and forth. “I... need... to... get out!” I whisper under my breath. Looking to my right, I see a sweet sunlit escape of a push handle door. I grab my saddlebag and run outside. I need air. I need to get away from these ponies!

Outside I find myself at the back of the building with a series of stairs. I’m not going to just run away. Where would I run to? I sit down near the stair railing and hang my hooves over the ledge. “Was all of that really necessary? You could have just told him that you weren’t interested and that he should go away. What if you had taken him up on his offer? Would it have been so bad? Then again, no, it would have been stupid to do that. You know what he was planning. You overheard his conversation. Still, I can’t help but feel like a bitch.”

“I don’t want to be an ‘itch...” I begin to tap my forehead on the railing and let out a discontented sigh. “Whinneapolis... You're nice and all. But, I... want to go home. And if I can't do that... can I go back to Ponyville? Please?”

Author's Note

HB "That'ssssss a rather nice heart you have there.... be a sssssssshame if sssssomep-p-pony came along and....broke it.

Random Interventions

Chapter 28

Random Interventions

Rarity’s eyes went wide as she heard the conversation that took place between Heartbreak and - “Hot Dish darling, was that actually-”

“Oh yeah! That was the big honcho himself! The actual host of the party!” Hot Dish looked worried. “Manifest Destiny!”

“And she just told him off like that,” Rarity whimpered.

“That she did... Oh, I don’t know whether to feel sorry for him or cross my hoofs and say that it’s about time he finally got what for!” Hot Dish replied, slamming her hoof down on the table.

Rarity looked confused. “I beg your pardon?”

“It isn’t that we don’t like Manifest...” One of the mares leaned across the table.

Hot Dish nodded. “It’s just that we like him more when he’s sober... And not hanging out with the likes of Smooth Talker and the fellas. They are just a poor influence on him, don’tcha know.”

Rarity rubbed her temples. “Then, H.B. did a good thing?”

“Wellllll,” Hot Dish began rolling her eyes, “Yes, and no. See, we’ve been wanting ta tell him off for the longest time, but Manifest has powerful friends and money to boot. You know how that is, too rich and powerful to knock upside the head, let alone get them to listen to reason? I tell ya, there have been times that I just wanted to do that myself. But, wow. Your little H.B. has quite the sharp tongue! I’d hate to be on the wrong end of it!”

“Heh, yes... That she does,” Rarity replied laughing nervously and looking around. “Where’s Spike! H.B. needs to be at this party! Otherwise... Oooh, I might have to go get her myself! Though I’m not sure how I could convince her to come back to this party after that!”

==============================================================

Welter. My father’s last name was Welter. Amazing how I remember different names and not others. I can remember his last name, but not my own. Welter. It means to, ‘Wallow.’ And if there is anything that I’m good at? It’s just that. Wallowing. Wallowing in my self pity, in my self defeat. I’m sure that if my life were a storybook? I would be sick of reading about how I’m wallowing about. I would want me to do... something.

But I don’t know what that something is most of the time. And usually that something involves making others feel bad about themselves. And I don’t want to be that way.

“So don’t,” Is what the old me would say. “Be positive, smile more, try ne-” I glare at my internal voice. “Oh yeah, ‘cause it is all that easy. Just put on a smile, be positive! Next, you’ll be telling me that if I just say the right thing at the right time, everything will be magic-” I bap my head against the rail and refuse to finish that sentence. I forgot that I am in a universe full of magic talking ponies again. Saying things in just the right order can bring about magic. Wonderful, beautiful, splendid magic. The fixer of all things broken. Everything except for me it seems.

Then again, do I want my problems fixed with the flick of a horn? I’m sure that I’ve been over this before. Yeah, magic used on me would most likely backfire. But then there is the other reason.

Magic is the Deus Ex Machina way out. It’s the Mary Sue way out. It’s the easy way out. So easy that it has to be a trap. There are a billion of those easy way outs. I can think of three more possibilities that would be nothing but traps.

Sighing, I look over the, ‘Great River,’ as Rarity called it. Down by the shore I see a little sign that I can just make out.

“Whinnissipi River Boat Co.” I say out loud. Ugh! More horse puns! And this time it’s more awkward than just Whinneapolis! It doesn’t seem like it will ever end! I hit my head against the railing a few more times.

“Excuse me?” I hear a melodious female voice come from behind me. Great, I just want to be alone! Why won’t the fucking ponies give me that?! At least for one day! It’s bad enough when Pinkie shows up out of nowhere, acts all sneaky and then surprises me a random... cupcake. Well, alright, maybe that’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be. But just one day! Calm down, H.B. Just turn around and acknowledge them so that they can get on their business of going away.

“Yes, can I help you-” Turning around I see a rather big shock. “Uhm... Princess?”

It’s an alicorn.

What. The. Fuck.

No really, what the fuck? Wait, maybe she’s just a really tall unicorn. Tilting my head I spy a pair of wings. Nope, that’s an alicorn. Her coat is almost a blue-ish-purple-ish, maybe indigo... light indigo... I catch a glimpse of her cutie mark. It looks like a rainbow ribbon that’s in the shape of a figure eight. Her eyes, mane and tail are making me do a double, ‘what the fuck.’ Her eyes are violet with streaks of crimson in them. Her mane and tail on the other hand look like what would happen if you decided to blend a lava lamp and a mood ring together. It flows outward in more of what is similar to a, ‘Fluttershy,’ styling.

She looks around in confusion. “I suppose so... But I was wondering if you could help me.”

I blink and my brow twists a bit. I am totally at a loss of words on how to approach this situation. Someone or some pony throw me a life preserver or a freaking bone here!

“I’ll... try?” I finally squeak out.

==============================================================

Rarity gave a few more uncomfortable laughs as Hot Dish explained more of the situation to her. How Manifest’s father was a big name in the city when it came to Granite, how he helped build the city. Things that Rarity already knew. “Course the big thing that most didn’t know or didn’t talk about was the fact that the two of them never really got along.”

“Oh?” Rarity asked.

“Not much is known outside Manifest’s small circle of friends there, but what I do know is that his father was always on his case and kept him on a short leash. Not really letting him grow up. I guess he was expecting great things from his son. That sort of thing can affect a pony and well-”

Just then, Rarity spotted Spike. “That was very insightful, thank you darling. But if you could excuse me for just a moment...”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need to use the little fillies room and freshen up? Go right ahead, deary. The girls here know how I like to talk and talk. More than one time they’ve had to tell me to shut my yap, don’tcha know!”

Rarity nodded and held up her hooves. “Well, I wouldn’t ever be that rude, and normally I would love you to dish out more information in regards to Manifest, however-”

“Oh you go right ahead there, Rarity. I’ll be right here when you get back, still chatting up a storm. Isn’t that right, girls?”

The other mares at the table gave uncomfortable glances to Rarity with one of them almost mouthing, ‘Take me with you.’

Rarity quickly trotted over to Spike. “Spike! Where have you been?!” She shouted in a whisper.

“Why? What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Please let me make it up to you!” Spike pleaded.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, but the situation is starting to escalate here.” Rarity took a deep breath. “Where were you?!”

“I thought I told you that I was going to the bathroom? I think I ate something on the train that didn’t agree with me,” he said rubbing his belly in discomfort.

“Oh, well... are you feeling alright now?” Rarity asked sympathetically.

“Yeah, nothing I couldn’t handle,” He looked around. “Hey, where’s H.B.?”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you. Apparently she just insulted, cut down, or said something to the host of this party to make him go running off in tears!” Rarity said panicking slightly.

Spike face palmed. “She would do that while I was in the bathroom too, wouldn’t she? Wait, who was the host again?”

“Manifest Destiny. He was the red stallion who was standing with Prince Blueblood,” Rarity explained.

“Oh! Him!? The one that smelled like horrible alcohol and was talking about... uhm... mark, tag or tail?” Spike asked.

Rarity’s eyes went wide. “Wait. He really was talking about that?” She asked in a deadpanned manner.

“Yeah. Can’t believe that he and the others were talking like that in public!” Spike retorted, crossing his arms.

“I thought they were talking about stock figures,” Rarity said distantly.

“Ah-Ha! I bet they had some sort of spell up! One that makes it so that only stallions or the like could hear what they were saying. Twilight said something-”

“Not now, Spike! We can talk about that later! Right now, we need to find a way of getting her back to the party! It is of the utmost importance!” Rarity said, her mane starting to frazzle.

“Uhm-” Spike began.

Rarity put her hooves on Spike’s shoulders as she began to look like she was cracking. “The. Utmost. Importance!”

“Are you ok?” Spike said putting his hand on her hooves. “I’ve never seen you this jarred over something like a party... Well there was that one time-”

“This is different Spike,” She looked around and pushed him to a hallway. “You see, there has been a reason that I haven’t really been myself all day.”

“You mean all month, right?” Spike asked quirking an eye.

“Commentary can wait, Spike. It’s really, really, really important that she gets back here in the next,” Rarity looked up at a clock hanging on the far side of the room. “Five to ten minutes!”

“Rarity! You’re obsessing over the time more than Twilight does! Why?!” Spike asked concernedly. “And why is it so important that H.B. be here at the party!?”

Rarity put a hoof on Spike’s mouth and then looked around to make sure no pony was in the nearby vicinity. “Right. The reason that I am in a bit of a panic and worry about all this, Spike, is because somepony of great importance is meant to be arriving... Somepony that Heartbreak looks up to. And this Somepony wants her arrival to be something of a surprise.” she said through her teeth.

“Wait, you don’t mean-”

==============================================================

“I am a bit lost and am looking for somepony..” She says distantly, almost as if she isn’t quite all there.

“Uhm...” Alright, I don’t feel all there either. So, let’s try to forget what just happened and try to help the mystery princess. “Well, you’ve kinda come to the wrong p-p-pony there... Princess?” I am trying to pose the whole princess part as a question so that she might actually introduce herself. Cause seriously, I have no idea who this Princess is. And that’s really troubling me.

She jumps back a bit. “Well... perhaps I could tell you his name and you could see if you recognize him?”

Do I introduce myself or does she introduce herself or what?! Fuck, maybe actually paying attention to some of what Rarity was talking about back on the train could have been useful right about now!

“Well... It never hurts to help, right?” Uhm... Hello stupid, this is your brain speaking. Remember that whole tempting fate thing? I shake my head. Not now, brain. There’s a Princess asking you for help with something. After verbally gelding some random pony of importance who is friends with royalty, it might do you some good to actually be helpful. After all, you don’t know what the fuck Blueblood could tell Celestia that could fuck your situation up any more than it should.

She gives me a warm and friendly smile. “Right his name is -”

Suddenly her voice just kind of drops and I blink at her in confusion. “Uhm. Beg your pardon Princess? I didn’t quite hear you.”

She looks back and forth. “Oh, terribly sorry. The one that I am looking for is -” And just as she’s about to say the name, a window above me opens and blares out some music before closing again.

I sigh and she gives me a nervous laugh. “Right, uhm mind repeating that?”

She’s looking at me in a saddened frustration. “Alright, his name is -” And once again her voice drops to a whisper.

What the hell!?! Is there something wrong with my ears?! “Uhm, excuse me for a second Princess.” I lift my ankles up and rub around in my ears rapidly. Pulling them away I am left with a really unpleasant surprise. Earwax. A gob of earwax on either one of my ankles in front of a Princess. Oh, that’s got to be just charming. Fuck, what do I do with this?!

She looks at me with the expression that I expected. Repulsion.

“Uhm, you’re going to have to pardon me again, Princess... Uhm..” I look around. “Uhm... You wouldn’t happen to have a tissue would you?”

Her eyes dart back and forth. “Uhm, no.”

“Fet-” I stop myself in mid-’fetlocking’. I mean, crap, I shouldn’t swear in front of a princess, right? Even if it isn’t a real swear word. I mean it doesn’t usually matter, but princesses are all interconnected, right? This could be some newly created princess that I don’t know about and she could report directly to sunbutt! I slump and realize that I have no other choice but to humiliate myself further... I rub the wax on my side, giving a nervous laugh all the while. “Ew, ew, ew, ew gross! Way to go, H.B.! Good thing that the wax is almost the same color as your fur... Wait... Gross!”

“So! Right, didn’t mean to... well... you know.”

She covers her mouth and gives a strange giggle over my situation. “It’s quite alright, shall we try again?”

Wow... This is the most forgiving that I have ever seen in any Princess or royalty. It’s downright spooky. Almost puts me on edge about this strange situation. I simply nod before noticing someone or pony or whatever in the window. It’s Blueblood. He and Manifest are standing in a window and grinning. Laughing. Suddenly it dawns on me what this actually is. She could be part of this whole game that the snooty ponies are playing!

“Right, his name is-” She begins.

“Stop. Right. There.” I interrupt. Good Gaia, I am so getting sick of being played like this. And like fuck am I going to let myself be played again!

“I-I beg your pardon?” She asks.

“I’m on to you and all the others!” I reply fighting the urge to seethe.

“I-I-I’m confused,” She says innocently.

“I see Blueblood and the other royals up there!” I walk up to her looking her square in the eyes. I am so tired of everything, everyone or everypony in this city fucking with me that my eyes feel like they are stinging. “I am not here for anyp-p-pony’s amusement or their games! You ought to think about that and remember this! It’s not nice to play with other p-p-ponies emotions!” And with that I promptly about face. Alright, that wasn’t the most cutting or intelligent thing I have said. But I am just too frustrated to think right now.

There is a moment of silence between us. Then I hear her start to whimper...

“I-I really don’t know what... you’re talking about! P-p-please... I’m just looking for somepony...” She chokes out. Fuck, hearing her voice doing that is driving me to have, ‘Fluttershy Flashbacks.’ “I need to find him... I-I lost him and I don’t know where he is... I miss him... so... much.” Her voice is practically dripping with sincerity. And I know what it’s like to want to find something or someone or anything and just be desperately looking for it. Turning my head I look into her eyes. Big mistake on my part. Did you forget the lessons of the void, H.B.? That with mere words you can devastate someone or somepony else's world? Fuck, were you not just playing with Manifest’s emotions a while back? I bow my head in shame.

“You’re no pony, H.B. You’re a fucking ass. Apologize to her already.” “Look I didn’t mean to snap like that.” As I turn around, I hear the sound of a teleportation happening. That snapping twinkling magical sound. “I’m-” starts to come out of my mouth, but I’m greeted with nothing. No pony, no princess, just nothing. Fuck. “A fetting idiot!”

Great, the flashback just played itself out down to the point where the pony I snapped at, left. Fuck! Gah! What if this gets back to the Princess’s?! Looking up, I still see Blueblood and Manifest yuking it up in the window. I glare at them in a near seething rage. “Those bastards! What the fuck are they laughing at!? Did they set this up!? What is going on!?” As I glare at them, I swear they suddenly look ill and Manifest backs away from the window, glaring at Blueblood.

I look up at the sky and a growl starts to rumble from my throat. This growl turns into an outright yell.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ARGH! WHY AM I SO AWKWARD!?!”

I quickly cover my mouth as I realize how awkward it is to be shouting the question asking why I am so awkward. Sighing, I put my front hooves over the railing and dangle my back hooves through the bars. Ugh, never have I wanted to find a nice warm blanket and curl up under it so that I could pretend the rest of the world wasn’t there than at this very moment...

==============================================================

Manifest Destiny looked at the tan mare as she sat outside staring at the Whinnissipi river shore. Staring at buildings that his father had built with the help of countless ponies. Commoner, philanthropist, earth pony, pegasi and unicorn. They had built this city, built it on rock, steel, concrete, crystal, music and magic.

“I dare say, Blueblood,” He looked at his new glass of brandy and swirled it about, “What if she’s right?”

“Manifest,” Blueblood began. “You shouldn’t take to heart what that filthy dirt pony just said. After all, she’s nothing but a commoner.”

Manifest looked out the window at the pony named Heartbreak. “A commoner with some rather sharp and cutting points.”

“But a commoner nevertheless! She is a ruffian and ill tempered!” Blueblood humphed. “Don’t you worry, I will speak to my aunt about this, ‘Miss Heartbreak,’ on your behalf.”

Manifest looked down. A feeling was bubbling to the surface. A rather unpleasant but cutting feeling. Was it jealousy? Anger? Bile? Hate? Whatever it was, it needed out. And it needed out, now.

He quickly turned to his so called friend. “It must be nice,” he said, staring him in the eyes.

“I beg your pardon?” Prince Blueblood asked. “What must be nice, Manifest?”

“It must be nice to have a nigh-immortal relative that you can rely on for all your troubles,” Manifest replied sharply.

“Well, it does have it’s advantages. One of which being that I’m never short on funds when a wine run comes calling!” He replied in a jovial manner. Manifest’s eyes narrowed at the Prince. The Prince started to look around and then laughed nervously.

Manifest’s face cracked a smile and he started to laugh aside Blueblood. The Prince laughed in return only to have Manifest laugh even harder and in proceedingly less and less amused way.

“Ha. Ha. Ha,” He finally finished. “Yes, because when you get into trouble, you can cry to your sweet auntie for help. Your auntie that will always be there, who has all the power to protect and delegate your problems away. Leaving you to behave however you wish,” Manifest growled. “Whether it be to poke fun at the commoners, ‘macking’ on mares or using other ponies as cake shields so that you don’t get dirty! Aren't you lucky! Mean while, those of us whose relatives haven't been blessed to be alicorns must deal with the harshities of actual reality!”

“I say! That is completely uncalled for! I know you just had your ego verbally assaulted by some no-name dirt pony! But that is by no means a reason to take it out on me!”

“Hmph! She might have been a no-name, ‘dirt pony,’ Blueblood, but she has more sense about her!” Manifest said pointing at the mare on the street.

Heartbreak looked frustrated and pained over something. Just then her face turned and the mare glared at them. Her eyes were practically spinning voids of loathing and hate. Her mane and tail seemed to be curling in tight spirals. The two stallions jumped away from the window in near fright. Moments later they could hear her screaming about something.

Blueblood shuddered and then regained his composure. “Some sense!”

“Yes...” Manifest said looking at the glass. “I dare say you were right about one thing, Blueblood.”

“And what was that?”

“I’ve been drinking too much.” He set the glass on a table and turned. “I don’t feel like being at this party any more. If you want to continue on with it, you’re welcome to do so. I however feel the need to go home and think about things.”

“Manifest! You shouldn’t let her spoil your good time!” Blueblood pleaded.

“Hmph, what good time? I’ve told you. I’m no longer in the mood. So, good day to you sir.”

“B-but-” The prince started.

“I said: Good Day.” Manifest turned his head and whipped his tail at the Prince as he left the room.

Prince Blueblood stared at the mare on the street in confusion. How could she have had such an effect on another pony like that?

Author's Note

For those who want to see the chapter art: Here

Song and Dance

Chapter 29

Song and Dance

Spike sighed as Rarity had explained the full of the situation. “Geez, that is so convoluted! I don’t get why Twilight didn’t let me in on the know in the first place! Don’t they trust me? Come on! I can keep secrets!” He picked up a plate of the sausages. He wasn’t sure what H.B. liked about them, but he was sure to need them if he wanted to get her talking, let alone back to the party.

As he strode to the door leading outside, he saw the Prince looking positively frightened while looking out the window. Blueblood turned and looked at the little dragon, recognizing him on sight. Spike snorted and glared at the Prince who jumped back and cowered away back to his two remaining friends.

“What a fetting jerk. First Rarity, now H.B.?” He shook his head and rolled his eyes. Walking out the door he beheld the sight of a shattered H.B. He took a deep breath. As he approached her she turned away.

“Sooo,” he started.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Heartbreak curtly replied.

Spike looked at Heartbreak and rubbed his temples. “Look, we both know that something is wrong. Now, we can either stand outside and dance around the issue, or we can actually talk about it, confront the issue and maybe get over it.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Have I become that predictable?”

Spike tapped his chin. “Haven’t you asked that question before?”

Heartbreak facehoofed as she leaned over the balcony. “If you have to ask that question, then I already know the answer. And the answer is, an overwhelming, ‘Yes.’ Fine.” She looked at Spike. “I’ll talk about what’s wrong...”

Spike smiled. “Good old Spike charm! I’ve gotten pretty good at this whole, ‘phycho-’ uhm...’psychological?’ Yeah! Psychological thing.” He lifted his plate and offered Heartbreak one of the sausages. She gave a half smile and snagged one of the mini-sausage looking things.

“Mmm.” She rolled her eyes a bit. “Alright, you know how I said that I was alright when we first got to-” Heartbreak paused and turned back to leaning her head on the balcony. “Whinneapolis...”

“Yeah?” Spike asked, setting his plate down on a table before hopping on a bench next to the distressed pony.

“Yeah, I wasn’t being completely truthful there. And here I thought I was supposed to have learned the lesson of, ‘be honest with yourself.’ I guess it’s easier said than actually done.” She waggled a hoof in the air. “I was really freaked out when I discovered this gem of a city. I mean... in a lot of ways it’s really like where I’m from. The buildings, the atmosphere, a great number of the landmarks.”

“So it reminds you of home.” Spike scratched his head. “That’s good, right?”

Heartbreak shook her hooves in the air and bit her lip before almost slamming them on the granite rail. She stopped herself and then merely tapped them before hugging herself. “No. It’s not good.”

Spike rubbed his head. “I’m confused. How is this not a good thing? I mean if it is almost like where you once lived, then when you get back into harmony, maybe you could move here. Find a new home, make a new life, right?”

Heartbreak merely shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Spike.”

“Why?”

Heartbreak looked at the city line with a rather fervent glare. “Because it’s not the same! I mean it’s almost the same, but it’s different! And it feels like the universe is mocking me with it!” She took on a derpy sounding tone. “Oh, hey! How can we mess with H.B. today! We’ve done all the small things! Let’s do something big! Hurrr! I know! A whole fetting city! No! I got something better! Two whole fetting cities! That’s pretty big! Hurrr!”

“Whoa! Whoa! H.B.! Calm down...I’m still not sure I get where you’re coming from here,” Spike said, frowning. “I mean-”

Heartbreak sighed. “It looks like it’s story time.”

“Wait, what? Story time?” Spike asked.

“Yeah. Storytime with H.B. ‘Cause I don’t know any other way of explaining it. And it seems like it’s what I am good at.”

“Whoa, whoa! Wait a second. This isn’t going to be like that story that you told Twilight about her turning into a gryphon and not being herself any more is it?” Spike asked hoping that he could avoid this, ‘storytime,’ thing that Heartbreak did from time to time.

Heartbreak looked thoughtful. “It’s sorta like that. Yeah. But not quite. Just hear me out, kay?”

Spike sighed. “Alright...”

“I’ll make it much simpler and not so complicated.” She tapped on her chin and then the railing. “Alright, I got it. And yes, it does have transformation in it. But roll with me on this.”

“Alright...” “You can do this, Spike. Even if her stories tend to seem to be long winded and kinda pointless... They make her feel better and she can get out what she needs to.”

“Alright. One day you and Twilight are in the library and Twilight is working on some new magic. As she is getting close to something, an accidental burst of magic happens! An accidental burst that happens to hit you and transforms you, Spike the Dragon, into Spike the normal earth pony.”

“Just a normal earth pony?” Spike asked.

“Yup..” She tapped her hoof on the railing.

“What’s my cutie mark?” Spike asked inquisitively.

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m setting up a story, Spike,” Heartbreak said, looking at the city distantly.

“Right, sorry... I just wanted to-” Spike began.

“It would be a red ruby crystal heart,” Heartbreak said, slightly choking on her words. She sniffed a bit. “Like the one you gave Rarity.”

Spike looked at Heartbreak. “You ok there H.B?”

She waggled her hoof at him. “I’ll be alright Spike. That’s what you’d look like, now back to the story. Twilight is sure she can change you back, but doesn’t know how long it will take. A week or two tops. In the meantime? You’re stuck like that. Now, things seem pretty normal, walking takes like a day or two to get used to. In those first few days everything seems alright, things seem normal. The ponies try to treat you like you were as a dragon. But then you start to notice little things. Twilight asks you to take a letter and you realize that you don’t know how to write with your mouth. You see your favorite gem based ice cream and you can’t chew it with your soft pony teeth. And because you’re an earth pony? You don’t have any real magic. So, no magical dragon fire breath for you!”

Spike frowned a bit. “But I do have my friends and Rarity right? I mean now that we’re both ponies, I might actually have a chance with her!”

“Sure, you have your fffriends, but-” Heartbreak waggled her hoof at Spike, a slightly cruel smile slipped across her face. “Rarity has decided that she actually likes Blueblood again.”

==============================================================

Alright, yeah, this sounds like the makings of a bad fanfiction. And it isn’t any story that has been given any real thought. But it’s really hard to try to put what has been annoying me and what my feelings are in the limited time frame that I’ve got. I’ve got the bare bones of a story. And it’s enough to make the little dragon’s face crumple and twist in confusion.

“What?! But Rarity hates Blueblood! That would never happen!” He protests.

I tap my chin. “You’re right, that doesn’t have the right feel. Alright, Rarity doesn’t like Blueblood, ‘cause let’s face it, Blueblood is a fetting jerk. However,” It just came to me why Rarity wouldn’t have any interest in Spike if he were a pony. “You were a baby dragon at the time of the spell. So that gets transferred over with the magic. So, instead of being a stallion? You’re a colt. A really young colt. And while your attempts to impress Rarity are cute? To Rarity? That’s all they are. Cute. She never takes them seriously and never reciprocates that affection back in a way that you want. Or quite how you’d like it.”

A glimmer of understanding flashes over Spike’s face. “So... It’s like everything is the same, but it’s not?”

Yay, I wasted a bit of time explaining exactly what I told Spike in the beginning of all this, but with a story! Well... at least it wasn’t as long and drawn out as I made any other story I have told.

“Exactly. That’s the big thing. It’s like the whole of the universe is conspiring against me to remind me of what I’m not. Almost like a heavy pony who’s trying to go on a diet but then is taunted by the other ponies with sugary sweets and donuts. And it doesn’t just do this once in awhile, but every fetting day.”

“Ah, come on, it isn’t that bad is it?” Spike asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. For the moment I’m going to ignore that it’s a hand. If I acknowledge it, then it’s just going to annoy me into more whining.

“I don’t think it would be that bad had it not been for the two things that just happened. For one there’s this, ‘party.’ I really don’t see why I have to be here. I mean other than convenience sake.” I flip my hoof in the air. “Otherwise it was just a social bunder where I sliced and diced what I am sure was the delicate ego of somep-p-pony who is of importance in the area. But seriously? Who names their,” I attempt to find a word other than, ‘kid,’ or, ‘child.’ For some reason those two words just don’t go through. Sigh, can’t think of anything else than what always comes. “Foal, ‘Manifest Destiny?’ That’s almost just setting them up for some sort of mental complex. And it didn’t help that he was drunk and hitting on me. Then there’s what just happened...”

Spike scratches his head. “Wait, something else happened?”

Fuck, now comes the shame. I know I have problems with authority figures, but I feel real bad for what I just did. “Not only did I insult a rich p-pony, I think I just may have snapped at a Princess too.”

Spike’s eyes go wide and he looks nervous. “It wasn’t Princess Luna or Celestia was it?”

I roll my eyes. “Would I be standing here if it was either one of those two? And it wasn’t Cadence either... And Skyla would be way too young. And-” Fuck, Spike is looking at me funny again. “Right. I don’t know who it was and I can’t think of any other princesses.” Alright, that’s a lie. But I’m not going to question it. “But, after all the things that have happened today along with the stupid party thing, that whole, ‘mark, tag, and tail,’ bit they were going on about.” I frown. Great, now do I have to watch my back when it comes down to other ponies and pay attention just in case? Count another show canon ideal shattered. “Not to mention the fact that the four of them had been talking about the whole thing while having an, ‘encryption spell,’ up. And Twilight says that magic can only be used for good purposes...”

“I knew it!” He asks. “But why were you able to hear them? I mean, I could hear them because I’m a dragon. But you?”

“I haven’t a clue why it wasn’t working on me. Maybe because it’s the fact that I’m not... real. But it gets even worse. The three others? They were making wagers on Manifest just to see if he could actually do it.” I finish shaking my head.

Spike gives me a revolted look. “Really?”

“Really. And like fet am I going to be the mare that they use in their little exploits. You know how much I hate being flirted with to begin with. The fact that they were doing this as part of a little game? That only added to the insult. I’m not some sort of prize or-”

Spike puts up his hand to my face. “I get it. You don’t like being disrespected.”

“Yeah... unfortunately those feelings I was having at the time splashed over to the mystery princess. If she was a princess... Or even was actually there. The thing happened so fast that I’m not sure if what I saw was real or not... And I didn’t even get her name!” Frowning, I feel pretty stupid in the fact that I didn’t even think to ask her name in the short time I saw her. Then again, I practically expected her to tell me it... so... No crying over spilled milk I guess. Though Spike seems to be taking all of this really well. I don’t think I could share this sort of stuff with Rarity. She would most likely give me some sort of talk involving, ‘stallions being stallions.’ Then again, she and I don’t like Blueblood. “I might feel a bit better if I knew who it was that I may have caused an international incident with.”

“Well... I know a lot of the different Princesses and royalty, maybe you could give me a description of what she looked like!” I pause for a moment before answering. “Well?”

“Give me a minute! We talked like for the span of six or seven minutes, ten at the most! Right. She was as tall as your standard princess, I would say between Cadence and Celestia,” I raise my hoof in the air. “She had a sort of ...I would say... dusty? Yeah, dusty indigo coat and violet eyes with crimson streaks in them. I think her cutie mark was a rainbow figure eight. I think. And then there was her mane. Do you know what a lava lamp is?”

Spike blinks and scratches his head. “Uhm... is it a lamp with lava in it? Because it sounds like what a dragon would have in his den.”

Great, lava lamps aren’t a thing in Equestria. Either that or they go by a different name. “It’s... hard to explain. Right, take molten wax and have it floating in really hot water. Fet. This would be easier if I just drew it. Can you get my sketch pad and pencil?”

Spike smiles at me. “Sure thing, H.B.” He reaches into my saddlebags and pulls them out.

After putting my pencil in, I drop my sketch pad on the ground in hopes that it opens to a clean sheet of paper. It instead opens to a rather well done drawing of Twilight. Oh well. there’s some unfilled space on the paper. So I sit down and start drawing the basic, ‘lava lamp,’ “Right, the lamp is filled with water and has a blob of wax in it. There’s a light in the bottom that heats up the wax and makes it kind of bloop out. A metal cap is on the top and dissipates the-” Spike is looking at me in a lost manner. “Right. What this has to do with the mystery princess is that her mane was like a rainbow of swirling colors that was kind of faded.”

“Weird, I haven’t heard of any princesses with the traits you have just described. You might want to ask Twilight when we get back about her.” He looks at me pensively. “But... what did you do?”

“Right... That’s complicated too.” I feel horrible about what I did. “She approached me and was asking about needing to find somep-p-pony. I tried to calm down after Manifest, but every time she said the pony’s name? Her voice dropped and I couldn’t hear her. I asked again and she just did it again. I was already in a bad mood and annoyed at everything. I kinda snapped at her without thinking that she just might have been shy. By the time I turned around to apologize? She had teleported away.”

Spike blinks in confusion. “That’s just... weird. And sad.”

“I just hope...” Ugh, this little mistake is hitting me hard. “I hope I see her again so I can actually apologize. I didn’t mean to... It was just a split second mistake. Like so many other things in my life.” Spike looks at me like he kinda wants to smack me. “Alright, maybe that’s a bit over dramatic. But I still feel bad about it.”

Spike nods at me. “So, do you feel better now that you talked about all this?”

I think about it. “Yeah... A little bit, there are still things bothering me about the whole situation as it stands, but the whole story telling and talk? I feel a little better.”

“That’s good to hear,” Spike replies. “Just wondering though, was the story really necessary? I mean it didn’t even feel like the usual stories you tell.”

“Well...” A small trill of amusement runs through me. “If you wanted a worse story than that one? How about one where you get turned into a purple and green talking dog?”

Spike takes a double take at me and gives me a slight chuckle. “Alright, now I know you’re fetting with me.”

“Spike! Wherever did you pick up such language?” I mock imitate Rarity.

“You of course!” He punches my shoulder lightly.

“Ow, oh yeah. Heh,” Alright, now I’m feeling much better.

“Are you going to come back in?” He asks me.

“Pfffft, like I really need to offend more p-ponies today,” I reply rolling my eyes.

“Well, Prince Blueblood and Manifest are most likely gone. So you’re probably safe when it comes to anypony that’s royalty or importance.” Spike replied.

“I’m sure I’ll offend somep-p-pony in there.” I roll my eyes and shake my head before rubbing my temple with a hoof. “Royals, alicorns, and ponies of important stature. I’ve offended all three of them in one evening.” Groaning, I rub my eyes in an attempt to quell any surprise headaches I might experience because of the stress of this situation. “I swear, the next time I run into any one of those, it’s going to be altogether too soon. It’s like I’m some sort of fetting magnet for them! I mean I get that my situation is, ‘unique,’ but for cripes sake! It’s like I wave my hoof and they fall out of the sky!” I rant as my hoof dangles in the air.

That’s when Spike’s face goes slack and he goes really quiet. I see that his eyes are wide with a bit of shock and that his mouth is open. That’s not a good sign...

Just then, I feel a stiff breeze and a soft clattering of hooves from behind me.

I am afraid to turn around. Damn it, there you go tempting fate again H.B. “S-s-she’s right behind me, isn’t she?” I squeak out.

Then a voice speaks. A voice I know. A voice I love, fear and respect.

“Did I come at a bad time then?”

I don’t have to turn around to know who that is.

Lunch With Luna

Chapter 30

Lunch With Luna

Heartbreak’s wide eyed face turned over her shoulder and looked at the Princess behind. She quickly jumped one hundred and eighty degrees right next to Spike who was making a gracious bow in respect.

“P-p-p-princess Luna!” Heartbreak squeaked out backing away, only to bump into Spike.

Spike grimaced. “She isn’t the best when it comes to first impressions, is she? Huh, Pinkie was right, Heartbreak is blushing pretty hard... Usually that means that one pony likes the other, but they’re both mares! And H.B. has been fervent about not being interested in any creature here in Equestria. I bet she’s just really surprised to see her.” Just then he noticed that she was standing in a frozen manner, mouth agape. “Sigh... ” He lightly elbowed Her.

Heartbreak jumped and looked at Spike. “What?! Uhm... oh... uhm... right...” She replied, her voice trailing off to a quiet mutter as she took an awkward looking bow, the whole time her eyes keenly on the Princess.

“Greetings Heartbreak-” Luna began but was cut off the moment she saw the pony before her cringe at the mention of her name. “Or H.B. if you so prefer.”

“Uhm... H-h-hello, P-p-princess Luna,” Heartbreak replied, her head turned away as she took more to cowering rather than actually bowing. “Uhm... f-f-fancy meeting you here... Uhm,” She looked around at the sky above her. “In broad daylight...”

“Tis’ early evening.” Luna quirked an eye at Heartbreak’s nervousness. “The circumstances of my arrival are indeed quite unusual, however you are an unusual p-” The Princess stopped herself momentarily. “Individual. Spike, can you relay the message to Rarity that I will be having a conversation with H.B. here and that we may be late for the auction that is about to take place?”

“It would be my pleasure your Highness!” Spike replied, saluting the co-ruler of Equestria.

Heartbreak watched Spike leave back for the party, and for a moment, she almost looked like she was about to bolt upside him. She very well may have, had it not been for the dark sapphire feathers that obscured her vision. Looking to her side she saw Luna refolding her wings and looking down at her with a quiet, serious sadness, before smiling.

Heartbreak rubbed her hoof against her ankle nervously. “S-s-so... uhm.. What’s... uhm... How are... uhm...” She began to fumble.

“I see that you have been caught off guard by our arrival, but please, there is no need for worry or fear,” Luna said looking Heartbreak in the eye. “I merely wish to talk and see how you are progressing. Shall we cross the street? There is an eatery that I have prepared just for this occasion.”

Heartbreak coughed and tried her best to straighten up. “Y-you didn’t have to do that, Princess...”

Luna began to walk towards the crosswalk. “Wouldst thou rather that we had our conversation out in the open, for all to hear?”

“Uhm... No... That would most likely be a bad idea...” Heartbreak replied suddenly jumping up and following Luna’s lead.

==============================================================

I. Feel. Like. A. ...uhm... Something! An Awkward teen! A stumbling idiot! “So how are you doing, Princess Luna? What brings you to the Twin Cities, Princess Luna? Why the Fet are you here Princess Luna? A forewarning that you were coming would be nice Princess Luna!” No! Shut up brain! Seriously, you are walking right next to Princess Luna here! So close that you can practically smell her! ... No, we are not going to smell the Princess. We just scolded a drunk rich pony for sniffing us and that would make us a fucking hypocrite!

As we are crossing the street, I feel my left hoof hit a small pothole in the road and I tumble right against the Princess and get a face full of feathers. I quickly jump back and right myself. “I’m so s-s-!”

“There is no need to apologize, H.B. Are you alright?” Luna frowns for but a moment and puts a wing on my back, either to stabilize me or comfort me. I’m not sure which. Ffffffuck! Luna is putting a wing on my back! If I didn’t want to smell her before, I’m smelling her now! It’s like the cool breeze before the night begins, ionized air that hits your nose just right to make it tingle, the powerful- STOP SMELLING THE PRINCESS WITH YOUR NOSE! I quickly cover my nose with a hoof.

“Is there something wrong?” She asks with concern. “Does my presence offend your senses?”

“N-n-no! I just have an itch o-on my nose! I do apologize. It needed scratching right away.” I reply as we make it to the other side of the street. “Hey, why did the human turned mare cross the road? To make an utter idiot of themselves in front of the Princess of course!” Shut. Up. Brain.

Staring down at the street I don't see the speculative look she gives me, or the way it changes to a smile when I look up. We approach what appears to be a corner restaurant with an open dining area. Round tables with umbrellas and throw pillows for chairs. They are all oddly vacant. Wait, no, that shouldn’t be odd at all. She said that she had prepared things for this occasion. Fuck, does that mean she rented out the whole fucking place?! Gah, that feeling of being a, ‘Mary Sue,’ or a, ‘special snowflake,’ is creeping back into my mind...

Looking at the entrance to this establishment, I see an archway with grape vines intertwining it. Above that is the name, ‘Bella Vite.’ She opens the door and we both enter at the same time.

The restaurant is set up like how I would expect a, ‘Perkins,’ or ‘Applebees,’ to be. Rows of tables with booths and a bar area in the middle. In the far back there are tables with throw pillows for the chairs. I’m not sure if it is intentional or if this place is attempting to be classy. But it still has that, ‘Italian-french’ theme to it. Hardwood everywhere and hanging glass light fixtures above the tables. Vases with odd looking flowers sit in the middle of each table. The grape vine theme continues as well, with carved vines curling up different archways and the like.

A service pony dressed in a slightly generic restaurant uniform that has a few buttons tacked onto it. “Welcome to Bella Vite, Princess and,” She looks over at me questionably. I quietly shy back.

“VIP Guest,” Princess Luna states. “We would like to be seated in the table in the far corner. It shall be I who alerts you to when we are ready for our meals. Do you understand?”

The waitress nods curtly. “Of course, right this way please.”

After we are seated the waitress asks if we want anything to drink. I reply that I want a lemon-lime soft drink. Luna wants an espresso and a plate of the house special grass.

“So, is there anything else you’d like?” The waitress asks after returning with the drinks and plate of grass. Bleh...

“No, we will let you know if we wish to order anything else, thank you.” she politely replies. “Now if you would not mind,” Luna gives her a stern look.

“Oh, right, of course. We’ll be in back if ya need anything,” she says cowering back to the kitchen.

“And then there were the two of them alone together once again...” I think to myself in slight narration. I look at her across the table and she looks back at me. “Soooo...”

Before speaking, her horn glows slightly and she flicks it in the air. There is a small snap in the air following all this. “There. Much better. So,” she leans forward slightly. “How are you doing?”

==============================================================

Heartbreak bit her lip and looked thoughtful before looking off to the side. “With all things considered, pretty well I suppose. But that is a rather loaded question that varies with every passing day and often depends on who I’m with.”

“Perhaps then I should rephrase that,” Luna said looking into the mare’s eyes. “Twilight doth speak the truth. Those eyes are quite striking. They are almost as if some being took the glitter from the stars...” “How are you adapting to our land and your situation?”

“O-o-ok I guess,” Heartbreak replied sipping on her drink. “There are a few basic things I have down. Walking, eating... sleeping.” she paused trying to think of what to say next. “Drawing! I like to draw. Would you like to see some of my drawings?”

The Princess nodded and smiled as Heartbreak pulled her sketchbook from out of her saddlebags. Luna floated the book over to her side of the table and began to look through the sketches. “These are rather good,”

“They’re not that great... or at least not as great as I used to be able to draw...” She looked at her hooves and then dropped them. “And I also tell stories apparently.” Heartbreak interjected nervously.

“Yes, Twilight has made mention of that in her letters to us,” Luna replied looking through the last of the pages before setting it back down on the table.

“Letters? Wait, of course, this is Twilight we’re talking about,” Heartbreak tapped her head and rolled her eyes. “I should have known that she was sending more than just one letter... Wait... Us? You don’t mean that she has been reporting to both you and Celestia... Has she?”

Luna paused. “There is no need for alarm, H.B. These letters have been addressed directly to myself and have been seen by my eyes and my eyes alone. The contents of which aren’t all worrisome, though there are issues that I am certain need resolving.”

“Like my need to get out more, or be more open, or more trusting?” Heartbreak asked with a sarcastic lit to her voice.

“Among a few other things, yes.” Luna tilted her head. “Are you alright? You sound irritated.”

“It’s nothing,” Heartbreak replied. The princess gave her a questionable look. “Right, it’s just right before you arrived? The party that I was at, a party that I would have rather not been attending, there was a group of stallions who were acting rather... Ugh... they were talking about... ” Heartbreak shook her head. “I’m not sure I should even bring this up...”

“Why not?”

“Because it feels superfluous! Because... because...” Heartbreak sighed and her head drooped down.

Luna looked at her drink. “Is there something wrong?”

Heartbreak held up a tentative hoof. “Yes... no.. maybe... I... just... don’t know...” She took a deep breath. “Do you mind if I am honest about something with you, Princess?”

“I would presume that you would not be dishonest with us at all,” Luna replied, frowning a bit.

Heartbreak’s hoof tapped against her forehead. “I don’t mean that I was being dishonest with you, Princess. I mean that I want to be a bit open with you about something.”

“Oh,” Luna’s ears perked forward. “Please, by all means proceed.”

“This... isn’t quite what I expected,” Heartbreak replied, pushing a hoof against the side of her mane causing her hat to shift slightly.

“What do you mean?” Luna asked her wings fluffing up a bit.

“What I mean is that... well...” Heartbreak looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’ve kind of have been expecting something like this happening sooner or later in my head, and as such, I kind of imagined what it would be like. What would be said, what would be done, and uhm... the like... Aaand now that the moment is here?”

“It does not meet your expectations?” Luna said frowning.

“Yes! Wait! NO! I mean...” Heartbreak sighed. “What I mean is, I don’t know what to do. I mean, I know that you are wanting to talk to me and I know that it is important that we talk, but the moment that I try to think of something to talk about? It’s like nothing comes. It’s like being presented with all the legos in the world and being told that you can build anything you want! But then not knowing what to build!”

The Princess tapped her chin. “I do believe I understand what you mean. You are... overwhelmed at the possibilities of what you could say.”

“In so many words yes. I mean, I’ve wanted to have your ear and talk about things... but now that I can talk about things, I’m not sure what I should talk about! What I should say, what I shouldn’t say, worried about if I say the wrong thing, if I end up offending you, or if I say something that... that,” Heartbreak’s hooves started to reach up to hug herself.

“That?” Luna asked patiently. The tan mare was quiet for a moment. “Please, do not feel that you must censor yourself, H.B.”

Heartbreak began to whimper a bit. “That’ll make you’ll see me as a lost case and g-g-give up on me...”

==============================================================

F-f-fuck, why the fuck did I even just say that? What the fuck was I thinking!? Why the fuck am I crashing like this?! Great, just like all the other ponies I’ve talked to, most likely she’s going to think I’m a spazz or- I feel a light touch on my shoulder. It’s her hoof, she is smiling at me with nothing but sympathy.

“Y-you’ll have to forgive me, Princess... It’s just every so often dark thoughts like that creep into my mind... They didn’t always, particularly before... coming here, but as of late...”

“It’s alright, such doubts and fears are natural. In many ways, when I look upon you, I am seeing a great deal of what I had to work through upon my return,” Luna’s hoof massages a bit on my shoulder and I relax some. It feels... nice. “Tell me, what do you know of the first year after my return?”

Ooooh boy, got to be careful here. “N-next to nothing. Y-you won’t be mad at me for bringing up old scars will you?” Fuck, I am not sure why I am asking permission seeing that I’ve brought them up with Twilight and her friends so freely before.

“All of Equestria knows of my past sins, so much so that they have become the things of myth and legend. Even to the point where an entire night is dedicated to the event,” she speaks with a bit of shame and guilt in her voice, but at the same time there is an unshakable quality to it. “I have long since made peace with these things. After all, time heals all scars. No matter how deep they run. So if you must bring up something of my past, do not feel hindered, after all these things are but words.” A lot of what she said sounds like it could be plucked out of a Hallmark card. Meaning to be comforting but at the same time, so cliche.

Of course, with her hoof still on my shoulder? It actually feels like it is a lot more meaning to it. The cosmic irony is that Tabitha St. Germain voiced both Rarity and Luna. One has nearly brought me to tears in frustration, and the other is bringing me to tears ‘cause I don’t want to fail her.

“You’d be surprised at what mere words can do, Princess,” I try to think about what I am going to say next. “However, to answer your question? No, I don’t know anything about your first year back. All I know about is when you were... uhm... defeated as Nightmare Moon,” I watch her expressions, her ears aren’t drooping but they do twitch at the mention of that name. I have to be careful with what I say next, I don’t want to appear to be a know-it-all-sue. “Then you disappeared for a year and returned looking a bit older and on Nightmare Night.”

“I would like to address that Nightmare Moon and I are separate beings, separate entities. She is more a parasite of sorts than an aspect of my being.” Luna’s words carry a pain with them. But she is right. I mean that was covered in the comics. I think…

“My... apologies... I didn’t mean to omit that information, I just didn’t want to come off as a know-it-all,” I reply, draining more of my glass. I swear with as much as I have drank, a trip to the bathroom might be in order.

“I see,” she pulls her hoof back and looks at me.

Geez, I know that this is a serious conversation, but I can’t help but study the creature before me. Alright, the show never really captured the quality of detail that I am seeing about ponies. Everything here has a touch more realism than anything that could be pushed in flash. I mean, I know where my fetlocks are! I can see individual strands of my mane and tail, my muzzle sticks out a bit farther than a cute cartoon horse would have it be! There is still a bit of cartoonish-ness to everything, yes, but the details. The Princesses’ mane is a translucent field of stars, her eyes are pools of cyan. Is that cyan? I mean, that’s what the Friendship is Magic Wiki always said. Her coat- brain, you’re getting distracted again. Stop it. I shake myself from just staring at her.

“But during that year, I had many of the difficulties that you faced. Many of the struggles and hardships, the shames and self-doubts.” She takes a long drink of her espresso, I’m surprised that there is anything left in that cup. “Being locked away in the moon for a thousand years, time had passed and Equestria had changed a great deal for me. Those who I had called friend and who I loved were gone. Like you, I had to rebuild myself, and my world.”

I raise my hoof. “Uhm, not to interrupt you, Princess... but I’m a bit curious about something...”

“Do you need some food or drink? Perhaps relief?” Luna asks. Wait, did she just ask if I needed to go to the bathroom?

“Uhm, no. I was just wondering, being sealed away in the moon. What was that like? Was it a state of stasis or was it something different?”

“Ah,” Luna pauses and smiles at me. I’m not sure why. “The experience of being trapped in the moon was not like, as you put it, ‘stasis.’ It t’was more like an internal world unto itself. I was left alone with the entity of Nightmare Moon. I chased her around the corners of my mind, running into allies and challenges. These would help me defeat Nightmare Moon, had she not taken over the night of her escape... What happened within my own mind is but a distant memory now.”

I blink in confusion. As vague as that was, it almost sounds like the comic, ‘Moonstuck,’ could have a canon foothold? I roll my eyes. We’re getting off track of what the Princess is trying to talk about. “Maybe you should be paying attention to all that, after all, some of it could be actually useful.”

“So more like trapped in a dream of sorts... Interesting. But back to your first year...”

==============================================================

“Twas interesting that she asked such a question. There are few who inquire what we meant when we said that we were in the moon. Most assume that we were upon the face of the celestial body.” Luna pondered. “Yes, back to my return. In the months of my return, I felt distant from things. There were times where I felt dismayed and frustrated. We attempted many things, there was failure and trials. But with the help of our sister and even my guards I was able to pull myself through my dilemmas, my inner demons and struggles.”

Heartbreak frowned. “Kind of ironic that with your situation your sis-” She cut herself off and looked down. “Wait, nevermind.”

“Do not feel that you must cut yourself off from speaking ill of my sister, fair H.B.,” Luna said, tilting the cup back as far as she could to get the last bitter drops of her drink. Looking around her cup, Heartbreak’s expression twisted and changed to something rather awkward as the blush that had persisted on her face nearly turned crimson. “Have I said something wrong? Please, do not be embarrassed to share with me your thoughts regarding my sister.”

Heartbreak shook her head. “Uhm, no, you didn’t say anything wrong. Right, what I was going to say is that it is ironic that your sister was instrumental in assisting you in your recovery, yet she was rather...”

“Rather?”

The tan mare’s ears drooped and her head bent down allowing the hat to tumble off. “She was rather adamant that the only solution to my problem was to obliterate my memories...”

Luna took a full breath of the different conflicting emotions Heartbreak was presenting to her. “Yes, this too confuses me as well.”

“H-how is your sister doing?” As Heartbreak asked the question, Luna’s ears drooped and she turned slightly. “Not good, I take it?”

“Our situations have switched and the tables seemed to have been turned for my sister and myself,” Luna explained. Heartbreak eyed her with concern. “My sister’s actions were...” She paused. “Inexcusable on the surface. Her intentions were noble to some degree, however her actions, if taken by any other citizen of our land would warrant a great deal of investigation and charges would be brought unto them. But as she is Royalty and the primary ruler of Equestria, such a position of power is difficult to question.”

“I’m sure some very complicated and convoluted politics that would go clear over my head...” Heartbreak replied shaking her head. “Gah, hathead..”

“Tis true, there are layers upon layers of rules and guidelines within the politics of our politics. I would have thought that in my absence, things would have improved-”

“But they have only been reinforced with more red-tape, which in turn is reinforced by your sister’s ruling. Not to mention the amount of power that she wields,” Heartbreak paused as she saw that Luna was staring at her. “What? I-I’m only making assumptions here.”

“Do not put yourself down, you are correct in assuming that powers is part of the reason that my sister hasn’t been brought to court. But there is more than just that... As you made note, it is ironic that my sister helped in my rehabilitation, but was more fervent in your obliteration. I fear that my sister has grown... distant.”

Heartbreak looked down. “Fetlocks... I didn’t want to cause a rift between you two,”

Luna shook her head. “It twas not you that caused this rift. You are a victim of the circumstances before us. The rift is more caused by a power struggle between us. After all, not only did her subjects challenge her authority but l did as well. I do not wish to put any pressure upon you. However, all of our reputations, including my own are riding upon your success.”

==============================================================

I don’t like the implications of that last sentence she just uttered. I know she’s saying that there’s no pressure, but really? Implying that, ‘if you fail, then we too shall suffer,’ is a lot of pressure.

“S-s-so,” I swallow really hard and try not to appear like I have had a brick dropped on my head. “Do you have any advice?” Please don’t say, ‘go with the flow, open up more,’ or any of the countless dozens little snippets of advice that have been constantly parroted at me...

“Tell me, what have you been telling others that you are?” She asks.

“A foreign exchange student from a very distant part of Equestria called Minneighsota.” Gawds, I have repeated that statement so many times that I feel like a fucking broken record.

“Ah yes, speaking of that, my sister asks that you refrain from creating anymore, ‘lost colonies.’ We have had to send out a secret expedition up the far cold north expanse just to settle such a place.”

I quirk a brow. I can’t tell if she is kidding or not! “Wait, what? She really did that?”

“Yes,” She gives me a dead panned look. Holy shit... I think she’s being serious here! “And apparently any other attempts to, ‘create new places,’ will cause the contract between us to be null and void.”

I try to let out a nervous laugh. I am not given any laughter back. “Uhm... You aren’t serious are you?”

“With the current mental state of my sister being as it is? I am not sure, however, it’s best not to tempt the fates.” She replies rather sadly.

“Duly noted,” Way to keep the masquerade going Celestia... “I can only assume that everything else that involves me has been covered up?” My question is met with a nod. “I’ll keep my imaginary places to the realm of fiction...”

Luna smiles a bit. I hope that’s a good sign... “However, you asked my advice on how you can better adapt. Do you feel that this advice will have a more profound impact if it were to come from me?”

“That’s what I’m hoping. I mean it shouldn’t matter where it comes from, but lately I’ve been a bit more paranoid and less apt to take advice from particular individuals that will remain nameless at this... uhm... meal-meeting-talk-thingy.”

She nods. “My advice most likely will be in line with what others have told you. Open up more, allow yourself to experience new things and give more trust to those who are attempting to help you.”

“That is much easier said than done, Princess.” I roll my eyes. Even Princess Luna is telling me the things that I have already been told. I mentally sigh. At least she isn’t begging me to tell anything about humanity...

“That it is. Though, after my return, I did have some experience with being a, ‘foreign exchange student,’ in my visit to the region of Prance.” She replies smiling at me. “If you are going to appear to be a, ‘foreign exchange student,’ then best way to work to fill that role better is not to be afraid to make mistakes, ask the meaning behind phrases and most importantly,” Her grin widens as she sides the plate of grass that has been sitting on the table to me. “Try the food.”

Fuck. Grass. Of all the ponies in all of Equestria, Twilight and Luna are the two who are insisting that I eat the stuff. “Princess, no offense to you, but I don’t eat grass.”

“Would it help if I partook in some of it? I give you my word that it is quite delicious. In fact this variety is one of my favorites.” Fuck, she’s attempting to do the same thing Rarity was doing with the spa. No! I am not going to equate Rarity and Princess Luna as being the same! I don’t care if their voice actress was the same! They are different ponies!

“I’m quite sure that all grass tastes pretty much the same, Princess.”

The Princess gives a rather sly almost playful looking grin. “I assure your prejudice against graminoids to be unfounded.”

“I’m sure that grass is just grass, Princess.” I assert dryly.

The playfulness that the Princess was displaying dissipates and she takes on a more concerned appearance. “Is there any reason as to why won’t you eat grass?”

“... I think I explained to Twilight once, but I was sort of buzzed out on Creativi-tea at the time. I think that my explanation involved the idea that, ‘to eat grass,’ meant that you were being bullied and being shoved to the ground or beaten up-”

Luna’s eyes are locked on my ears. Fuck, I just remembered that my hat fell off. “As harsh as that seems, I am picking up that there is more to this reluctance than merely the negative feelings that come with being bullied, am I incorrect in my assumptions?”

“You wouldn’t be totally incorrect... As you know, in Minneighsota, ponies well..” Great, here comes the whole racism issue again. The, ‘my species thinks that they are better than every species on the face of their planet ‘cause they have out bred everything, and managed to make more dangerous exploding rocks and sticks!’ issue that I just don’t want to bring up. Right, so it is a lot more complicated than just that and that alone. But I still don’t want to bring it up in what I hope is my first of many talks with Princess Luna!

“From the letters that Twilight has sent me, I have gathered there are few if any other animals that are like, ‘Minneighsotains?’” She asks. I nod. “Yes, Minneighsotains.”

“Animals don’t talk,” I reply bluntly.

“Or they do not speak in a language that you and your fellow Minneighsotains understand.”

“Either way, grass like the kind that is on this plate isn’t something that is part of a Minneighsotains regular diet. Grass is used for other things and the last time I ate anything grass like? It was Twilight shoving it into my mouth. Plus there is the fact that I don’t... I don’t want to lose myself.” Good Gaia! That sounds so... stupid when I say it out loud!

She looks thoughtful about what message I am trying to convey. I really hope she understands. “You feel that consumption of grass would make you... less than what you are now?”

“It’s a stupid thing, I know. It doesn’t make any real sense. After all, food is food! But...” I trail off covering my face.

“You wish to hold onto those things that make you feel as you think you should be.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Either that or I’m just stupidly stubborn and will fight tooth and nail against the status quo. And can’t help but go against what’s being presented to me as the only available option. I guess I’m an idiot like that.”

“Do not speak such things.” She floats my sketchbook up. “You are far from any sort of fool. Stubborn, yes. However that in and of itself is not a negative thing. It shows that you are willing never to give up. That you will never surrender. Thus far you have shown my sister wrong and have earned two marbles. Even with what little you have been willing to show me, I believe that you can and will earn the rest. You have a creative mind and are a rather talented artist, H.B.”

The warm flush that has been going on and off in my cheeks returns and I wave my hoof at the Princess dismissively. “Please, you’re going to make me blush, Princess.”

“I believe that you were doing that long before I was giving you praise for your artwork.” She replies, that impish smirk returning to her face.

“Uhm... well... that’s just... because... You’re kind of a hero... to me... I mean you did save my life and all. And I never did thank you for that. So thank you.” I really hope that didn’t sound like hero worship. It was bad enough that I was criticizing Twilight for her thing with Celestia. Last thing I need to do is the same thing with Luna.

“It should be Twilight that you should be thanking for your rescue and not I. It was she who alerted me to your fears about my sister. Which in turn, made me aware that there was a situation to begin with.”

Speaking of Twilight... “I am grateful to her Princess. It’s just... there’s some tension between us. Most of it coming from every one of them pushing me into doing things that I don’t really want to do...” I eye the Princess quietly begging that she doesn’t force me to do this. “Like eating grass?”

Luna gives me a somewhat disappointed look. “I see, very well. You do not have to eat this grass and there are no consequences if you do not.” I sigh in relief. “Though, I would like that you did, not for any contrived or convoluted reason, just for me.” Fuck... just... fuck.

I pause and start to weigh my options. She said that I didn’t have to eat the green shit in front of me. And that there aren’t any consequences if I don’t. But...

“For you, and only for you, Princess. I ask you that don’t tell any other p-pony or any other being that I did this? Otherwise? I won’t hear the last of it.”

Her face brightens up with a, ‘This outcome is most pleasing to me,’ smile. “What has been spoken here shall be kept the greatest of secrets between us,”

I lower head down and reluctantly stick tongue out, cautiously letting a small cluster of blades stick to my tongue before pulling tongue in mouth and tentatively chewing. Suddenly, I pause with my eyes going wide and my mouth nearly gaping open. “This... grass...”

“Yes?” Luna asks with a trill of delight in voice.

“It tastes like,” I chew it some more. “It tastes like honey.”

“Yes, which is why it is one of my favorites. It has many names: Sweet grass, honey grass, or even more commonly known in this part of Equestria, ‘honey blade.’” Luna uses her magic to levitate a small cluster off her plate and into her open mouth. She chews it along side me and then licks her lips after swallowing.

A moment of panic hits me. This stuff tastes way too good to just be ordinary grass! “There isn’t anything magical about it, is there?”

“Only the ambient magic of the land. Nothing more or less.” She stops a green blob of the honey blade from entering her mouth before asking a question. “Is there something wrong?”

“You made grass... taste good.” Holy crap. If there is any pony in this strange magical land of talking horses that could get me to eat grass and make it taste good... Well played, Luna. Well played. “Is there nothing you can’t do?”

“You put us on too high of a pedestal. Twas not us who created this breed of grass. But the hard working farmers of Equestria over the course of many generations.” She chews some more and then swallows before using a napkin to wipe her mouth. “They do have agriculture where you are from, yes?”

“Of course... you created an ultra-sweet tasting grass through selective breeding.” It's not so farfetched. I mean the wild banana is practically inedible. It's chocked full of hard seeds and only sorta resembles the modern dessert banana! I pause again. It’s most likely the, ‘yuck factor,’ that’s getting in the way of me just unleashing my inner wolf and just devouring everything here. I close my eyes and take a bigger bite of this stuff than before, and after chewing the honey flavored grass, what do I do? You guessed it, I go and take another bite. I open my eyes and look up at the Princess. “This is going to remain between the two of us, right?”

Her smile is as sweet as this grass. “If that is where you feel this secret is best kept, then yes.”

A Royal Bidding

Chapter 31

A Royal Bidding

Looking at the last few blades of grass on the platter, I notice that there are some rather big differences between it and your regular run of the mill grass.

For one, it is slightly translucent and straighter. Most likely due to the fact that the sugar content in the grass is so high that it is actually crystallizing. How the fuck they got that horrible grassy flavor out of it is a mystery. However, if humans can breed, ‘lemon grass,’ then this is totally within the realm of possibility. I poke at a few of them with a wary hoof.

Just then I realize that I am still sitting with Princess Luna. What the fuck am I doing sitting here and poking grass while the Princess of the Moon, the Night, of things dark and spooky and of mother fucking dreams is sitting in front of me!? Having a meal with me! I mean, this is a brony’s dream and I’m poking at little green blades of grass on a plate!

I could be asking so many questions, finding out the details about so many things, learning so much! I could ask... What could I ask here? I could ask anything! I could ask about my situation, about my curses, about if she’s seen anything like me! About her duties, about the winged thestrals that she uses to pull her chariots!

But...

For some reason, like always, I feel like I should hold back. That and about half of those things actually deal with-

“Art thou sated or would you like to partake in some of the other fare that Equestria has to offer?” Luna asks.

I think about that question. “I’m ok for now, I had a few things at the party before.” Peering up, I can’t help what Luna is thinking about me. What questions are percolating in that mind of hers.

“H.B.,”

I straighten up and clear my throat. “Yeah?”

“What doth thou actually think of my sister?” Luna asks.

Boy, that’s a loaded question. “Uhm what do you mean, Princess?”

She takes a deep breath and looks away. “As I have said, my sister has grown... distant. When the time comes for her to raise the sun, she looks upon me not as if I were her sister, but as if she was looking at a distant memory. Perhaps it is the feelings of betrayal because I did not side with her in the matter of your issue-” she pauses.

“Perhaps it’s something else?” I ask, blinking.

“Perhaps or perhaps I am reading too far, ‘in between the lines.’ However,” Luna is looking at me with some desperation. “Like you, I wish to know what was going through my sisters mind the night of your arrival. Twilight has told me that before you arrived, you had grave concerns about how my sister would react. Given what you know-”

Please don’t ask how I know these things, please don’t ask how I know these things, please don’t-

“What doth thou think was going through my sisters mind?”

I swallow hard and count my blessings here. But now I have to address the question that the Princess just asked.

==============================================================

“I honestly don’t know. It all happened so fast and the whole of the moment was rather traumatic, what with your sister’s horn nearly up against my forehead,” Heartbreak replied, looking down at the table. “I... need more time.”

“We understand. As we said before, our therapy and coming to terms with what happened took more than a year. And for some ponies, particularly any who would have been in a situation as volatile and dangerous as yours,” Luna reached out again, “It would have been far longer.”

Heartbreak smiled, her hoof tentatively touching the Princess’s. “I just wish I had been wrong about your sister’s reaction.” Her eyes looked up sadly. “In those final moments before Twilight took me to meet her? I found myself questioning whether or not I was just poisoning my own well... But when I saw the look she was giving me-” she started to choke.

“Shhh, please. There is no reason to speak of such things at this moment,” Luna said comfortingly.

Heartbreak merely nodded and sniffed hard. “Like I said before, I am just glad that all of you were there to pull me out of the fire,” she said, smiling and rubbing her cheek.

Luna looked down and pulled her hoof away. “You thank us all to readily. Had my sister consulted me with all the facts regarding your situation? I too may have sided with her decision.”

“Oh,” Heartbreak’s expression blanched by the forward honesty.

“Do not think us cruel, dear H.B. Both my sister and I are dedicated to the protection and safety of Equestria. If a threat comes upon our land, it must be dealt with.” Luna explained, her words carrying a dark sadness to them.

“N-no, I get it. The safety of Equestria comes first,” Heartbreak could feel tears welling in her eyes. She bit her lip and fought her feelings. “Do you think I’m a threat, Princess?”

Luna shook her head. “Neigh, you yourself are not a threat to our land. The magics that have tainted your being if kept unchecked could be. Please, do not misunderstand us. We will do everything within our power that we are allowed to in order to help you to and on to the path of your recovery.” She frowned. “That is, everything that our sister will allow...”

Heartbreak blinked. “Everything that your sister will allow?”

“As mentioned before, this is part of the complicated politics that you spoke of. My sister charged Twilight and her friends to assist you.” She swallowed hard. “Not I.”

“Is...” Heartbreak sniffed hard and recomposed herself. “Is that why I haven’t seen you in my dreams?” Luna jumped a little at the mention of dreams. There were not too many that knew about her nightly visits through the realm of slumber. “Come on, Princess. There has to be a reason why you haven’t passed through my head.”

Luna finally nodded. “Tis true that my sister has forbade us from entering your dreaming world. However there is but another reason we have not attempted to do such.”

“When you say, ‘attempted,’ it almost sounds like you would have to actually work to get in my head,” Heartbreak replied, quirking an eyebrow.

“Your body maybe that of a pony, but your mind and the brain that houses it, appear to not be. We know this because we have seen the shadow it casts upon the dreamscape.” Luna replied as Heartbreak listened looking thoughtful. “There is also the matter of actually entering the Realm of Dreams. It is not as easy as walking through a doorway. Powerful magics must be learned, studied and applied. This is after all a realm created by the minds of all sleeping creatures. It is a... delicate place. ”

“Of course... One false move and you could drastically change the character of a sleeping pony?” Heartbreak asked inquisitively.

Luna nodded, slightly impressed by the mare’s intuition. “Each sleeping mind creates a small realm unto itself.”

“Like a miniature world that comes and goes with the rising and setting of the sun,” Heartbreak mused distantly.

“That is a rather poetic way of putting it, we suppose,” Luna replied.

“Fet... if that’s the case, then my, ‘dreamscape,’ must be a horrible tattered mess. Shattered, broken and twisted about.” She sighed looking depressed.

“That it is. Attempting to move through your dreams could cause you more harm than healing and could result in your mind being completely altered or wiped.” She looked at Heartbreak. A part of her wanted to cry out to her, comfort her and take her under her wing to lead her in this journey.

The tan mare stared in wide eyed fear. “Yeah, I think I would like to avoid any brain frying, please and thank you. Though...” Heartbreak paused. “I’ve been having... nightmares... And lots of them... A-a-and most of them involving your sister.”

"You wish to know if there is anything I can do to help with these things?”

“That doesn’t involve messing with my brain?” Heartbreak clasped her hat between her ankles and looked at the Princess pleadingly. And while the hat almost instantly fell down, the look’s effects sent their intended message.

Luna smiled. “My sister knows not what she speaks of. This Heartbreak has intuition about things that are normally quite beyond other ponies, is creative and possesses much talent, and if given the proper incentive?” She watched as Heartbreak attempted to reposition the hat back atop her head. “Can be trusting. Some negative traits may loom that she has not shown us. But-

Heartbreak jumped as a magic glow surrounded her hat and Luna placed it back on her head. She looked at the Princess and smiled nervously. “Thanks.”

“There is hope,” She looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed a bit. Time was growing short, and so little had been spoken here. “We attempt to seek out any non-magical solutions that may be open to you, when we can. There are many duties we must perform as a Princess.”

“That’s understandable... Something wrong?” Heartbreak asked blinking.

“We must return to the auction soon,” Luna replied.

Heartbreak looked rather dismayed by this fact, her ears drooping down far enough, that not even a hat covering them could hide her emotions. “D-d-do we have to?”

“I fear that we must,” Luna replied, standing up. She fluffed out her wings and stretched a bit. “Come, your teacher Rarity is certainly awaiting our return.”

Heartbreak slurped what remained of her drink before getting up. She then proceeded to put her sketchbook back in her saddle bags. “Uhm, Princess? Would you mind giving me a h-hoof here? Putting these on is still kind of tricky for me.”

The Princess smiled. “We would not mind in the slightest, however,” she levitated the saddlebag over Heartbreak’s back and latched it in place. “We were wondering if thou would mind a physical therapist be assigned to thee? Least until you have grown accustomed more to your body?”

Heartbreak looked at Princess Luna questioningly. “It is a kind offer, Princess. But I would rather not. I mean I have walking almost down so I should be just fine. So... uhm thanks but no thanks?”

“Very well. Shall we be off then?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and sighed. “I guess.” She looked down for a moment. “Princess Luna?”

“Yes, H.B.?” Luna asked.

“Can... uhm... Can I look forward for more meetings like this in the future?”

Princess Luna smiled. “If that is what thou desires, then we shall attempt to find time within our schedules for such.” She paused. “And H.B.?”

Heartbreak turned and looked at the Princess. “Hmm?”

“Thou art welcome to address us as, ‘Luna,’ if so desired.”

Heartbreak replied with a large blush and a quiet, “Okay.”

==============================================================

I get to call her, ‘Luna.’

Shit, that means something. At least I think it does. Does it mean that she wants to know me on a more personal level? Cause if that’s the case, ugh... Or does it mean that she feels a connection to me? Or does it- Damn it brain. I don’t need to be stressing and over analyzing all this. Just be happy with what you had. Cause what you had here was a wonderful lunch with the Princess of the Night. And she’s said if she can make the time, more meetings.

I... think that’s something I would like.

I can’t tell Luna everything about where I’m from or who I am or the like. But we can share a few quiet moments and understandings. I sigh as we get back to the I.D.S. tower and remember that I will have to see Rarity again.

No! We are not going let that sour our mood! We’re in good with Luna! Let’s keep it that way!”

The loud, rapid voice of the auctioneer can be heard as we enter the I.D.S. tower and as the Princess and I walk into the auction room, I mull over the advice that has been given to me thus far. “Do more, be more open, go with the flow and all that jazz.” The thing that most people and apparently ponies don’t realize is that those things are easier said than done.

“No wonder we didn’t see her for a whole season. The therapy bills for that sort of thing would have bought a trip to the moon and back!” Mentally, I snirk at the joke I made. I can only imagine what that was all like. Waking up from a nightmare you thought would never end, being welcomed back home and while your sister is ever so happy to see you again? There is still a look of sadness and disappointment in her eyes. Having to deal with being gone for a thousand years... All those that you called, ‘friend’ are gone and dead... “She knew that the advice she could give me would be pretty much the same as what the others have been telling me. That’s not the important thing here. The important thing here is that Luna understands. She’s been there, done that, and then got the t-shirt. She knows these things are easier said than done. But, if she can get through the pain, so can we. Just have to keep working through it.”

The stallion at the door looks at the both of us. He’s one of those snobby looking types with a well kept mane and a small black curly mustache. “Hmmm, Princess Luna and-”

He looks at me with scrutiny and then I realize that I should say my name. Yeah, H.B. You’re ever so classy. “Heartbreak... but I prefer H.B.”

“Hmmm, yes,” he says in a way that totally tells me that he really, really, really cares about what I like to be called. “Miss Heartbreak. Here are your bidding paddles, it is a silent auction, so please, do keep your voices down.” As Luna takes the paddles, I snicker quietly at the thought of telling her that she should keep her voice down.

Looking around the auction room, I attempt to find where Spike and Rarity are seated. I’m having a bit of difficulty seeing where they are due to the number of ponies that have gathered here. There are four blocks of sitting pillows, in which there are - one, two, three, four, five, six- Six rows of pillows per block.

Princess Luna must have keener eyes than mine because she almost spots them a few moments after looking around. “Please, come this way, H.B.”

As we walk down the rows I can hear whispers coming from the bidders. Fuck, I seriously don’t want to have a panic attack due to the fact that I am walking with the Princess!

Just then I hear a voice that I recognize.

“What’s she doing here?” Comes the snobby whispering of Prince Blueblood. Crap. I almost turn my head to look at him. But then I get a nudge from Luna as we turn down one of the rows and to the waiting empty pillows near Spike and Rarity.

==============================================================

Rarity smiled as Heartbreak and Princess Luna finally joined them.

“Princess,” Heartbreak looked up at Luna. “Uhm, just wondering, and no offense by this, but why are you here? I mean at the auction?”

“There is no offense taken by your question, H.B.,” Luna replied. “We actually attend many auctions, as a thousand years passed for Equestria, a few of our possessions have fallen into the care of other ponies. We like to bid on said items.” She bent down and began to whisper in Heartbreak’s ear. “It gives us a positive reputation among our subjects and can be quite entertaining. One can never quite know what they will find at these auctions. Tis quite the game.”

Spike looked over at Heartbreak. “Hey H.B.! You’ll never guess what’s on the auction block!”

Heartbreak took a deep breath as she sat down. “It isn’t a robot monkey helper is it?”

Spike blinked and then looked back at the list of things that were up for bid. “Uhm... No, but that might be useful come to think about it.”

“I was kidding, Spike,” Heartbreak replied. “So, what exactly is it that is on the list?”

“Well there are a few houses on the list that are actually in the Ponyville area,” Spike replied.

Heartbreak let out a quiet chuckle. “Of course there would be. Any in my price range? And anything else good?”

“Well, there were two houses that were in your price range, darling,” Rarity interjected. “Sadly, the first one was already sold. Along with a few items that I think you could have used. Some clothing, a drawing table or two, but nothing else that was noteworthy.”

Spike blinked and looked up at Rarity. “Wait, didn’t you-”

“Spike!” Rarity looked deeply into the dragon’s eyes. “Do you happen to know when the next house is coming up on the lot?”

Spike looked flustered for a moment before checking the list. “Uuuhm, It should be coming up after this wagon that’s up!”

The auctioneer made his last calls for the wagon which was going for three hundred bits.

“Once! Twice! Sold to the dusty blue filly in square one, row three!” He cleared his throat. “Up next is this fine little abode that is set in idealist Ponyville! It has been recently renovated, recently updated and comes with all the basic standard modern conveniences! It is in near trotting distance from places like Sugar Cube Corner and Golden Oaks Library, this cozy little home is perfect for families with little ones! We’ll start the bidding at one-hundred bits!”

Heartbreak looked taken back. “One hundred bits? That sounds pretty cheap.”

“That’s actually pretty standard for a home that size, darling. Just look at the picture,” Rarity said pointing at the picture on the stage.

Heartbreak stared at the picture. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Rarity. That looks like any standard home in Ponyville. Are you telling me that-”

“And-I-have-one-hundred! Do-I-have-one-ten? One-ten?” The Auctioneer began.

“H.B.! Now’s your chance! Your paddle!” Rarity whisper-shouted.

“Huh? Oh, right.” Heartbreak picked up the paddle in her mouth and raised it the best she could.

“I-hear-one-ten! Do-I-hear-one-twenty!” The auctioneer pointed at a small couple in the front row. “I-hear-one-twenty! Do-I-hear-one-thirty?” Rarity eyed Heartbreak who only seemed to chew on her paddle and then raised it up in the air again. “I-see-one-thirty-from-the-tan-mare-with-the-blue-eyes-in-square-three-seated-next-to-the-Princess!” Heartbreak face hoofed and sighed as a few bidders turned their heads. “Do-I-hear-one-forty? One-forty?”

The couple in the front row looked at each other and nodded before raising their paddle again.

“One-forty-for-this-ideal-starting-home! Do-hear-one-fifty? One-fifty?”

Rarity poked at Heartbreak, causing her to flinch “Rarity! That’s all the bits I have!”

“And that’s all the bits you need, I’m sure!” Rarity whispered out.

Heartbreak frowned and reluctantly raised her paddle once more.

“I-see-one-fifty-from-the-mare-in-square-three-again! Do-I-hear-one-sixty! One-sixty?” The couple in front looked as if they were talking something over. But then once again agreed. They slowly raised their paddle.

“I-see-one-sixty! Do-I-hear-one-seventy! One-seventy!”

“Guess I’m out...” Heartbreak said dismayed.

“That’s only twenty bits over what you have, darling!” Rarity pointed out. “I could easily spot you some quick cash!”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t give up yet!” Spike added cheerfully trying to get Heartbreak more enthusiastic about bidding on the house.

Heartbreak closed her eyes and bit down hard on the paddle’s handle. “Ffffine...” She raised it again.

“I-hear-one-seventy! Do-I-hear-one-eighty! One-eighty!?” The couple looked at each other and snorted. The colt raising his paddle once more in verdant determination and defiance.

“Come on, H.B. You can outbid him!” Spike said cheering her on quietly.

Heartbreak looked almost pained as she slowly lifted the paddle once more. “I’m really getting out of my comfort zone as far as money goes, you two.”

“One-eighty! Do-I-hear-one-ninety? One-ninety!”

The colt in front raised his paddle up high and shouted “Two Hundred Bits!” Just then a small bundle of something that the mare was holding started to cry.

“I would like to kindly remind the enthusiastic gentlecolt and his family that this is a silent auction, and that we would like to keep the noise down to a minimal. However, the bid was made and the bar is now at two-hundred bits! So-then-I-have-two-hundred-bits! Two-hundred-bits! Do-I-hear-two-ten?”

Rarity eyed Heartbreak who looked as if she was actually considering the situation before her. “I don’t see how she can remain so... indifferent about this! Can’t she see that this is her chance at a home!?” “H.B.!”

Heartbreak finally shook her head and spat the paddle out. “No. Not going to do it, Rarity.”

“What? You’re giving up already? Darling! This is your chance at getting a house!” Rarity said pleadingly.

“Rarity, this is well out of my price range! I only have one hundred and fifty bits!” Heartbreak seethed at the white unicorn.

“That’s only sixty bits under! I said that you could borrow from me!” Rarity said in a faux laugh before raising Heartbreak’s paddle.

“Two-Ten! Do-I-hear-two-twenty?”

The colt up front looked determined get his little mare and foal a house more than ever now. He quickly raised his paddle. “Two-Twenty! Do-I-hear-two-forty? Two-forty-for-this-fine-house?”

“I don’t want to borrow that much from you, Rarity! That means I’ll be indebted to you!” Heartbreak hissed and grabbed her paddle trying to tug it down from the air.

“You can pay it back to me via chores and maybe even modeling for some of my dresses!” Rarity replied, fighting Heartbreak over the paddle. The paddle raised just enough in the air for the auctioneer to notice.

“Two-forty! Do-I-hear-two-fifty?”

The colt in front looked sadly at his mare and bit down on his lip. A small conversation between them took place as she tried to rock their foal back to sleep. He slowly raised his paddle.

“Two-fifty! Do-I-hear-two-sixty!?”

Rarity wrestled the paddle away from Heartbreak and attempted to raise it up in the air again. Just as she was about to raise the bid again, Heartbreak made a flying leap and grabbed the floating paddle out of the air before letting gravity pull her down unceremoniously. “I said NO!”

The auctioneer banged his gavel down. “I know things are getting heated, but if the two mares in back can not control themselves, Princess or not, we will have to escort you out!”

Heartbreak quickly sat down on her paddle. “Hear that, Rarity?”

“Now where was I? Oh yes, Two-sixty? Two-sixty!” He looked in the back at Heartbreak who only shook her head. “Two-fifty-it-is! Two-fifty going once! Two-fifty going twice!” He pointed his gavel up again. “Are you sure there, miss?” His only reply was an eye twitch and a nod. “In that case! Sold to the blue colt and his lovely mare in square number one, front row for two-hundred and fifty bits!”

==============================================================

“Let’s take a small five minute break before we get to our final ten items up on the lot!” The auctioneer announces.

Ugh! I can’t believe Rarity did that! I know getting a home is important, but for fuck’s sake!

Rarity glares at me. “I would have lent you the money, H.B.!”

“I already told you that I don’t want to be indebted to you, Rarity,” I reply as some of the bidders, including the family that I had just been bidding against get up to leave. “Plus I don’t wear dresses. Even if it’s for modeling.”

“Is that the reason you didn’t bid any higher?” Rarity asks me tearfully. “Are you really that against dresses?”

Just then the husband and wife couple walk by us. All the ponies who have been walking by have been making light bows in respect to the princess. After the two of them bow to the Princess, the blue colt looks up at me.

“Boy, you gave us quite the run for our money there, Miss,” his accent coming in loud and clear.

“Heartbreak, my name is Heartbreak. But please, call me, ‘H.B.’” I reply. “I-I didn’t mean to. Are you going to be alright money wise?”

“Well, nice to meet you, H.B. Name’s Ole and this here is my wife Lena, and that there is li’ Ogla,” He nods at the Princess again. “Princess. We’re gonna have to do a little scraping and the like, but we’ve got some friends and family to help us out. It’ll be tight for a while, but... we’ll make do. From what I hear, Ponyville is full of nice folk.”

“That it is...” Fuck... Fuck you moral dilemma... “You two have a good day.”

“Oh, we will! And best of luck ta ya!” He says as he walks by. Rarity looks at me in a confused manner before Luna speaks.

“Spike, would you be so kind as to escort us to the local snacking vender? We had a considerably light breakfast.”

“Uh... Yeah! Do you two want anything while we’re away?” He asks.

“Can I get a soda and some popcorn?” Mmm, popcorn. I wonder if they have any here. I didn’t even think that there was a snacking ven- oh... That’s the not so subtle cue that the Princess wants Rarity and I to be alone... to talk. Fun.

I am quietly contemplating what I should tell Rarity. That stupid little fight over the first thing that I was bidding on makes me want to chew her out something fierce, but at the same time... Luna is still here. Alright, I’ve thought about it enough.

“There are many reasons why I didn’t go any higher. One of them being the fact that after I said, ‘Enough is enough,’ you kept pushing to the point where I was very uncomfortable.” Alright, remember that this is Rarity. In Rarity’s mind’s eye, I’m sure she felt that she was doing me a favor. “The real reason that I didn’t go any higher just walked by. Yes, getting a house is important. However, that small family needs a house more than I do. I didn’t feel right pushing them to the screws just so that I could have a house.” I take a deep breath. “The dress thing was just a minor bit of icing on the cake.” Good fucking gods that took a lot of effort to say as calmly as I could. I hope she got the message.

Author's Note

No art with this chapter, the next chapter will be out soon for those who feel the plot isn't moving quick enough.

Special Eyes

Chapter 32

Special Eyes

Rarity looked at Heartbreak in a loss for words. She wouldn’t take the house because there were other ponies that needed it more? That didn’t make any sense!

“Well, no sense if she is truly, ‘out of harmony,’ as Princess Celestia put it. Then again she has earned two of her marbles. Could earning them have altered her mindset that much? if not, and she’s always been like this, one has to wonder why her bitter ends sent her here!” Rarity sighed. “I see, if that’s the case, then I apologize for forcing you into that situation so suddenly.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes a bit. “Aaaand I feel the need to sort of, kind of, in a round about way say that I didn’t mean to yell at you?”

“Don’t think anything of it, darling. Though I really did wish we had purchased you that house. It would have been just perfect for you!” Rarity replied.

“Eeeeh, I don’t mean to be a downer here, Rarity,” Heartbreak’s face twitched a bit. “But that house just wasn’t me. Besides, I’m sure that something will turn up. And if not, we can go back to Ponyville and continue looking from there. Right?”

Rarity grinned. “Of course!”

Luna and Spike returned with popcorn and drinks. He held the drink’s straw up near Heartbreak’s face. “Spike, you don’t have to do that you know.”

“I know, but I want to.” Spike replied. “Besides, I’m not going to hold my arm out forever!”

“Good to know, I’d hate for you to get claw cramps,” She replied taking a long draw off the drink. “Mmm, tastes like... sarsaparilla?”

Spike nodded and set it on the floor. “Yup!”

“And our next item to bid is our final house that is in the Ponyville area!” The auctioneer boisterously proclaimed. “Known as the, 'Olde Miller Estate,' this eccentrically designed house, with its two floors, attic, basement and wide back yard is located just within the limits of Ponyville proper!” He looked around watching several paddles starting to go up. A drop of sweat started to form on his brow as he dreaded to read the last part. “And overlooks, the rather...uhm,” he swallowed hard. “Scenic! Everfree Forest...”

Almost instantly all of the paddles drooped down.

“Right...” He sighed rubbing his temples. “We’ll start the bidding at two thousand bits... two thousand bits? No? Nineteen hundred bits?” He looked around, some of the more seasoned bidders rolled their eyes and were snickering, while whispering to the other bidders.

“Last house and the auctioneer is dropping the price?” Heartbreak asked Rarity.

“Yes,” Rarity replied. “It’s been on the auction block for as long as I have been coming to this event, a few have shown interest in buying it, but once they hear the description that comes with the house?”

“Alright. What’s wrong with it?”

“Other than it looking a bit run down? You were paying attention to the description? Its proximity to the Everfree Forest!” Rarity looked a bit shocked at Heartbreak’s question.

“Rarity, you and the girls almost make a habit of trouncing weekly into the Everfree Forest and you always come out. And seeing that you have attended these things before, you ought to know what’s wrong with this house.” Heartbreak concluded in a most logical sounding voice.

“Darling; while the girls and I have been fortunate in our encounters with the Everfree Forest; other ponies have not been so... You do remember Creampuff don’t you?”

Heartbreak’s face drooped. “Oh... That’s what-”

“Yes. Most ponies don’t like talking about certain things. But I knew her parents. I don’t know the exact details of what happened... Only that sometimes? Ponies go in but do not come out,” Rarity explained sadly.

Luna looked over at the two mare’s conversation with pangs of guilt in her eyes. “Who is this, ‘Creampuff,’ thou speaks of with such sadness?”

“Sometime last week, Twilight thought it would be a good idea for me to read to some of the local foals... One of them was a filly named, ‘Creampuff.’ An orphan...” Heartbreak replied sadly.

Luna looked troubled. “And the Forest claimed her parents lives...”

“Sixteen hundred! Come on folks! An offer for a house of this quality doesn’t come by all that often! Not only are you buying a fine house, but a piece of Ponyville history! This house harkens back near to the time when Ponyville was first founded! And for being as old as it is, it is in fine shape! Made from the local ironwood trees, the floors and walls of this building are sure to outlive the Princess herself or my name isn’t Sparkling Gavel!” The auctioneer caught himself. “No offense to the Princess who is in our midst as we speak!”

Princess Luna only smiled and gave a bemused chuckle. “There is none taken.”

“No Sixteen hundred? Fifteen hundred! Do I hear fifteen hundred bits? Time’s running out folks! Fifteen hundred is the final offer that can be made for this piece of history! Fifteen hundred!”

Heartbreak sighed. “Looks like we’re going back to Ponyville empty h-h-ooofphed, Rarity... Oh well... Right?”

Princess Luna raised her paddle and the whole of the room shook as she proclaimed in the Royal Canterlot voice: “Two thousand bits!”

==============================================================

Maybe sitting right next to the Princess wasn’t such a hot idea after all.

There’s now a ringing in my ears and the ponies in front of us have doubled over on top of each other. ‘Sparkling Gavel,’ looks astounded and says something that I can’t hear, before he bangs his gavel and points it at Princess Luna.

The other ponies, once they’ve gained their wits about them turn around and look utterly shocked by whatever has happened. From the paddle floating in the air, the fact that my ears are ringing from Luna’s voice and the almost joyfilled look on Sparkling’s face? I can only assume that the Princess just bought the house on the lot.

Sparkling is making a motion to the Princess to come down to the stage. I’m not sure why, but Luna tugs on my shoulder to follower her. Fuck, I really would like my hearing back.

Once we get to the stage, Sparkling presents both Rarity and Luna with what I can only assume are contracts showing that they have just bought something. Rarity takes out a rather heavy looking coin purse and gives it to Sparkling. Then some mare in a showgirl outfit walks out on to the stage. Oh joy: eye candy pony. She rolls a rather nice looking bicycle on the stage. Wait, Rarity made a bid on a bicycle? What the hell would she want with a- Ooooh no... She didn’t... did she?

As my hearing starts to come back I see Rarity turning with a cheerfilled smile on her face... Fuck. She did.

“Surprise!” Rarity shouts at me. “I saw this on the lot and I just knew I had to get it for you! Do you like it?!”

I look at the rather girly looking bike decorated with pink streamers and plastic hearts in the hubs. It looks like a decent pony bike and judging by the handlebars, it might have a few different speeds.

“Uhm... You... Shouldn’t have...” I reply uncomfortably wanting to yell at her for spending money on me. But before I even have a chance to do so? Princess Luna puts a hoof on my shoulder.

“We too have a gift for this pony! As one of the Rulers of Equestria, it is our honor to bequeath this house to this foreign exchange student and ambassador from the long isolated lost colony of Minneighsota in the far Icy North! May it be a symbol of friendship and trust between our groups!” She smiles at me and looks at the deed. “Further more! As the owners of this fine abode have long since passed away, I decree that a portion of the funds obtained from the selling of this home be donated to the local Ponyville Orphanages!”

The look of shock and bewilderment on the bidders faces is a rather big wonder to behold. Particularly that of Blueblood’s face. That face is absolutely priceless.

Too bad there is still this horrible sense in the back of my mind of feeling like a mary sue...

==============================================================

I rub my temples and look out the window. It’s night time. Rarity said we could stay a few more days in Whinneapolis and have some fun... shopping... But I told her that I don’t have the energy or drive to walk around the city. It sorely disappointed her, but seeing that I couldn’t just be left at the hotel by myself? She decided that we should just go back. Spike is in the sleeping cart. He’s most likely curled up nice and warm.

Sitting across from Rarity on the the train, I can’t help but try to process what just happened. On the table is the deed to my new house, marked with Princess Luna’s signature on it along with a stamp of her cutie mark. Joining it is some blueprints, a list of things that are, ‘cans, can’ts, shoulds and shouldn’ts,’ regarding my situation: I can’t leave Ponyville without an escort. I can go anywhere I like within Ponyville without one but it wouldn’t hurt to have one around. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... I’ll read it more in depth later. And finally what seems like a completely pointless paper that shows that I indeed own the bike that Rarity bought me.

“And while that is a nice, practical gift that I will put to use... Something seems a little... off about all this. We went to the cities, Rarity adamantly insisted that I attend a party, then a strange princess shows up, exits stage right, after which Princess Luna shows up. We talk, she encourages me to keep pressing on, we go back to the auction, attempt to bid on a house, lose bidding war, and finally Princess Luna swoops in to save the day, again.” I can’t help but cross my hooves and look at Rarity intensely. “It all seems too played out, as if had been plotted in advance.”

“So what do you think, darling?” She asks floating a cup to her lips.

I have only been half paying attention to what she has been talking about. My mind is swimming with all the things I need to remember. Like that there will be an inspector come noon or one sometime tomorrow at the house, and if they find any major flaws, a construction crew the following day. How the hell I’m going to afford anything like that is beyond me unless there is, yet again; something in the paperwork that I skimmed over. From what I could tell in the pictures, the house looks elegant and has more space than I would ever actually need. Five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a basement and an attic. Large front yard and backyard, garden areas. Fuck, maybe I should tell Ollie about this fucking house and we switch places. I scratch the back of my neck.

Fuck! This is what some people and ponies would dream of! Get shipped to Equestria via Fed-Exes, meet the mane six, meet the Princesses, have lunch with one of them and then be gifted a house by one of them!

If this is all a lucky break from the horrible things I’ve had to suffer, then why do I feel so wrong about it?! If I was still human and in this situation, I’m sure I would be like, ‘Oh, cool. I’m going to need time to move my stuff in.’

“Darling?” Rarity prods me to ask her question.

It all seems too perfect. Way too perfect. Rarity might want me to answer her question, but I have a question of my own.

==============================================================

“You’re going to have to forgive me, I was only half paying attention,” Heartbreak replied, looking over her hooves glaringly as she was prodded for a response.

“I see...” Rarity said frowning. “You do that quite often. Don’t you think it would be a good habit to rid yourself of?”

“Right, you’re going to have to excuse me then. I was lost in thought over something,” Heartbreak replied, tapping her hooves together.

“Care to share what was occupying your mind so?” Rarity asked.

Heartbreak tapped her hooves together and then looked at Rarity. “Oh, nothing that important. Merely the thought of how... convenient it was that Princess Luna showed up when she did... If I hadn’t known any better... I would have thought that she had been asked to come.”

Rarity paused in her drinking and flicked her ear. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, H.B. darling.”

“Really now?” Heartbreak asked. “I hate saying this Rarity, because you’ve spent a great deal of money, time, effort and energy on just getting me to the cities. But, the more I think about this situation. The more it seems like it wasn’t just a random entanglement of events, but like something that somep-p-ponies had actually planned out. Fet, the more I think about it, the more complicated and convoluted the situation appears to be!”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Heartbreak leaned on the table and rubbed her hoof on her forehead. “What I mean is that normally, I wouldn’t have given into this situation to begin with! I mean it seems to make more sense to look locally first and then if we have to, come to the cities for the auction.”

Rarity frowned. “Darling, you seem upset over something but I haven’t the foggiest about what you’re upset over.”

Heartbreak started tapping her hoof on the table. “It just seems like this was all unnecessary! Princess Luna and I could have had our conversation at anytime in Ponyville! Then she could have found the house and bought it for me! Come to think of it, we could have even bought that bike while we were in Ponyville before the auction happened!”

Rarity looked up at Heartbreak. “Let me get this straight... You’re upset that you’re getting things?”

“What I am upset over is getting things that I don’t feel that I’ve earned...” Heartbreak replied gruffly.

“Oh, not this again...” Rarity rubbed her temple and looked at Heartbreak. “You haven’t even seen the house yet! You could give it at least a shot before getting upset about anything! Why can’t you just be happy that you got anything at all?!”

“Because it feels like this whole situation was set up so that I had to take the house being presented to me!” Heartbreak replied grinding her hooves down on the table.

“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked starting to fume.

“What do I mean by that? What do I mean by that?” Heartbreak frowned. “Rarity, just a little question. Did any of the other bidders have to go up on stage to claim their stuff?”

“Well, no but-” Rarity began.

“Then why did we have to? And why did Princess Luna have to announce that she was giving me the house!? It was kind of putting me on the spot there! Almost like if I hadn’t accepted the gift, then I would be seen like a bad diplomat or ungrateful or something! And then she goes and donates a portion of the money to charity!” Heartbreak said fuming. “It was almost like I had to take the gift no matter what! Like the situation had been formulated and set so that I couldn’t win either way!”

“And what if it was?” Rarity asked.

“Meaning...?” Heartbreak glared at the unicorn across from her.

“Meaning, even if there was some sort of conspiracy to get you a house; and I’m not saying that there was, mind you. But if there was one, and even if Princess Luna was involved; So what? Either way you get the house! And a new bike I might add!” Rarity replied. “If you want, once you’re moved in? I can come and visit!”

“Oh, I can hardly contain my enthusiasm...” Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “And so what?! So what!? You girls would be using emotional manipulation and guilt trips just so that I would have to take a house!” she tapped tapped her forehead. “The only thing I can’t figure out in all this is where you would find the time to plan something so-” Her eyes lit up. “Unless...”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Darling, you just sound like you’re making things up just to start an argue-”

“Dreams,” Heartbreak said pointedly.

Rarity jumped and nearly spilled her tea as her eyes went wide. “Heh, d-darling... what do dreams have to do with this?”

“Princess Luna is the Princess of the Night and everything that goes along with it. One of those things is dreams. She could have totally set up a dream meeting-conference thing between you and Twilight to set this whole thing up!” Heartbreak said accusingly.

“D-darling where would you ever get such a silly notion like-” Rarity stopped as Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed at her angrily. “I- we were just- Gaaah! Fine, you caught us! But really would you have taken a house any other way?”

“Maybe! Now we’ll never know now will we?!” Heartbreak said huffing. “Great, I get a house all because you girls had to guilt me into taking it.”

“Ugggh!” Rarity bawled as she threw her head up in frustration. “Why does this even matter!? As I told you! You received a house and a bicycle! You should be happy! Why aren’t you happy!?”

“Because of how you had to give me these things! And the house you got me? Really? Did it need to be this big?!” Heartbreak replied.

“For your information, we girls thought that you would get the first house I had you bidding on! We didn’t plan on there would be another family bidding on it! And I didn’t expect you to give up because of that fact! I mean I did offer to help you out with money!” Rarity shouted shaking her hooves at Heartbreak. “Seriously! Why are we arguing over this!? You have a house! You have a home! You have a bike! There are ponies that would offer up their left front hooves for the things that you have been generously given!”

“I just explained why, Rarity! Do I have to-” Heartbreak began.

“Hey, H.B.!” Came a rather familiar sounding voice. Heartbreak turned in sudden shock and surprise. Standing next to her was a grey pegasus with a yellow mane and golden eyes. For a few seconds, the tan mare didn’t know how to react to the sudden and rather close appearance of her favorite background mare. Finally she shook her head, bewildered.

“D-derpy! I mean, uhm Ditzy! I mean- You! I haven’t seen you in two months! Rarity! It’s...It’s-” Heartbreak started to point and gesture at the grey pegasus, who had suddenly appeared next to her.

Rarity blinked in confusion. “Yes, I see that... Hello, Derpy...”

“Hi Rarity, how are you doing?” Derpy asked, smiling obliviously.

Rarity looked taken back by the seemingly almost random question. “I am doing well. However, I would be doing much better if somepony would just accept the things that are being generously offered to her. After all, those who were offering such things maybe wanted them to be a surprise!”

Derpy looked a bit confused and frowned a bit. “Oh, well, it is nice to have things offered to you... Though I kind of guess it depends on what is being offered.” She turned and looked at Heartbreak. “How are you doing?”

“I would be doing better if somep-p-ponies didn’t think that, ‘offering,’ wasn’t the same as, ‘dragging my flank clear across Equestria to Whinneapolis just so that Princess Luna can drop a house on me!’” Heartbreak said looking seethingly at Rarity.

“Well-” Rarity started as she locked eyes with Heartbreak.

Derpy put a hoof on Heartbreak’s shoulder. “You got a house?!”

Heartbreak turned and looked wide eyed at Derpy. Rarity could almost see the stubborn mares expression and hostile posture melt away. “Y-yeah...”

“And Princess Luna bought it for you?! Wow!” Derpy said cheerfully. “That must have been something!”

“Yeah, something alright. It would have been much more of a something had it not been that the girls wanted to hide the fact that they were setting this whole thing up just so that I would have to take it.” Heartbreak replied.

“Darling we were only trying to-” Rarity began.

“Make it a surprise!” Derpy interrupted while clapping her hooves. She looked over the table at the picture of the house. “And you got to meet Princess Luna too?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but I just can’t quite get over that they had to go to such lengths just to get me a house. They could have found this place in the local Ponyville newspaper and then asked the Princess to buy it for me...”

“I told you, darling,” Rarity began. “We knew you would have figured it out and-”

“Then the surprise would be ruined!” Derpy interrupted looking horrified. “And nothing’s worse than a ruined surprise. Well, maybe a ruined muffin. Nopony likes a ruined muffin. But they took you all the way out to Whinneapolis so they could keep it a surprise? Wow, you must be really smart, H.B. Most ponies don’t have to work really hard to give me surprises. Most of the time all they have to do is yell, ‘Surprise!’ and I’ll be surprised! One time, I was invited to a birthday party, and I had no idea that it was my birthday party! Boy, I was sure surprised when I arrived!”

Heartbreak’s expression softened a bit more. “Yeah, I guess it was a surprise all along... Oh! Uhm... I’m still working on that drawing I promised you... I’m s-”

“Oh yeah! I remember you telling me that!” Derpy interrupted excitedly. “There’s no rush, everything like that takes time! I can’t wait to see it! I know it’ll turn out really great!”

“Yeah...” Heartbreak replied quietly.

“And when you get moved into your new house, maybe I’ll come to visit!”

Heartbreak turned and looked at Derpy with large glistening eyes. “I-I would like that. I’m not sure if this house will work out or not, but I would really really like it if you came to visit me...”

“Anything can work out if you give it a chance, H.B!”

Just then the conductor came into cart. “Next stop Crinkley Bottom! Next stop is Crinkley Bottom! Have your tickets ready!” He said in a soft tone.

Derpy’s ears perked up and she looked at the conductor. “Oh! That’s my stop! I’m off to see a pony named, ‘Mr Blobby.’”

Heartbreak shook her head in confusion. “Mr. Blobby?”

“Yeah, he has a slight speech imped-impedd,” Derpy looked frustrated at the word she was attempting to say. “Problem!” She exclaimed rising up and clapping her hooves together. “Anyway... It was really nice to see you again, H.B. And I hope your house works out for you, just remember to fill it with lots of happy thoughts! That’s always the most important part of moving into a new house!” she said waving as she continued on her way.

==============================================================

“Will do!” I shout as Derpy walks back down the hall. Fuck, I can’t help but smile at that goofy lovable face...

Maybe she was right, maybe the girls were trying to set this up as a surprise of sorts. A long, drawn out, unnecessarily difficult, overly complicated and tedious surprise. But a surprise nevertheless. And derp-face was right; knowing the things I know? It would be far too easy for me to piece together what was going on. “Oh Derpy, you are so quirky...” I sigh a little and look at the papers in front of me. Just then I notice the oddest look coming from Rarity. “What?” It takes a few moments for her to try to form a proper response.

“W-what was that about?”

Damn it, Rarity. You aren’t going to kill my mood with your questions! “What was what about?”

“What just happened with Derpy. Why did your mood suddenly change?” She asks.

“Because it was Derpy. That’s why,” I reply, examining the blueprints of my new house. “Huh, that’s interesting. This place has a dumbwaiter, maybe this place isn’t that bad, I mean I could turn it into a pony-sized elevator. ” Rarity is still staring at me. “What?!”

Rarity blinks at me. “Hold on,” she rubs her temple. “I explain to you that we were attempting to make this whole event a surprise and that you should be happy that you are getting a house: You nearly fly off the hook at me. But the resident, how should I put this? Accident-prone walleyed mare says nearly the same exact things and everything about the situation is suddenly sunshine and rainbows?!”

A spike of anger hits me. Fuck, my inner raving frothing fanboy/girl wants to hurt the unicorn. I take a deep breath. It’s like she’s just trying to kill my mood with her questions.

“Rarity...” I begin. “For your own...” I attempt to fumble for a word to put here. Not like I have much to threaten a magical talking unicorn with. “Sanity and mine. Please refrain from insulting Ditzy Doo in front of me.”

She backs up in her seat a little and looks at me questioningly. “I.. didn’t mean to sound insulting, H.B. It’s just I’m confused why her words carry more weight than mine...”

I take a deep breath. I don’t want to explain to Rarity that Derpy is my favorite background character. That her words carry weight due to the fact that she has an adorable voice and that her klutzy movements have made me laugh. If I did that, I might have Rarity attempting to imitate her. And as amusing as that thought is?

I don’t want Rarity attempting to change who she is just so she can please some inner fantasy... Heh, derpy Rarity.

I mull over what I am going to say while looking at my hooves... Wait! My hooves! I Got it!

“Rarity, give me a second... Don’t take offense here, just let me put this into the proper words so that there isn’t any misunderstandings,” Alright H.B. you can do this. Tell her without making it sound insulting. “Derpy is an example-”

“An Example?” Rarity interrupts me with a quirked look on her face.

“Don’t interrupt my train of thought here. She’s an example of what a pony with... disabilities can do in your society. Yes, she’s accident prone...” I start to choke a little on my words. Fuck, come on rational thought! Get out! “Yes she has... dang it what’s the condition with her eyes called...?”

“I believe it’s called, ‘Strabismus?’”

“Yeah, that sounds right. Anyway,” I look up at her. “She has her set of problems, but she has a job, a life, and gets along a-o-k! I mean, Luna and I-”

“Princess Luna and I,” Rarity corrects me.

I fight the urge to let my eye twitch. “She said I get to call her, ‘Luna,’ but that is beside the point.” Rarity gives me a funny look. “Fine, Princess Luna told me pretty much the same things that every other p-p-pony has told me about, ‘getting better.’ But she’s a princess, and Derpy or Ditzy, who’s an ordinary p-pony; one without magic, or a royal support group on command... Actually getting along alright like that? It gives me hope... alright?”

Rarity still looks baffled. “But I-”

I pick up the important papers off the table, put them in my saddlebags and push myself out of my seat. “No more questions, Rarity. She’s what I needed at that moment, and it’s what works for me. Now,” I drop down to all fours and pick up my saddle bag. “Seeing that this train takes the long way back to Ponyville for whatever reason; if you’ll excuse me? I’m going to join Spike in the sleeping cart.”

“But-”

“I’m tired and you’re not going to ruin my moment, Rarity. Just accept that it works for me,” I reply, tapping the hoof-pad causing the door to slide open.

Blueprints

Chapter 33

Blueprints

“Wake up... Wake up. Hey! H.B! Wake up!”

“Gah!” Heartbreak looked up at Spike and groaned. “Just five more minutes...”

“Sorry, H.B. I can’t do that. We’re on a train. Remember?” Spike asked chuckling.

“Oh yeah...” Heartbreak replied, pushing the pillow off her head. “Are we back in Ponyville yet?”

“We’re about to arrive,” Rarity said, walking by and taking some curlers out of her mane. She whipped it back and primped about in a small mirror.

Heartbreak shook her head and ruffled her mane. “Fet... I barely remember going to bed last night. I remember waking you up... Going to the bathroom... By the way, thank you Spike.”

“Don’t mention it!” Spike replied. “Really, don’t mention it. You don’t know what ponies could be listening.”

“Right... and then just falling to sleep,” Heartbreak finished.

Spike eyed Heartbreak and prepared himself for a question that he felt was like walking on eggshells. “So, did you sleep well last night?”

Heartbreak tapped her chin. “Actually... Yes. I don’t remember if I had any dreams, which is an odd thing, but for the most part?” She stretched wide and squeaked a little before drooping down again. “I think it was a restful night’s sleep.”

“Good to hear!” Spike replied. He looked at Rarity with loving eyes. “And how did you sleep?”

“It was a decent slumber,” Rarity eyed Heartbreak. “Though I had a terrible time trying to get to sleep. I kept tossing and turning over something...”

“Beds must not be calibrated to your comfort standards, Rar-rar.” Heartbreak said, rolling her neck and cracking it. “Aaaaah.”

The door to the adjoining cart slid open and the conductor walked in. “Anypony still asleep in here?” He looked around. “Nope? In that case... Tickets ready! Tickets ready! We’re just moments away from arriving in Ponyville!”

Rarity pulled out the tickets from her saddle bags. “I do hope our luggage was stowed properly. I’d hate anything to get crushed...”

==============================================================

Damn it, Rarity. It’s morning, I haven’t had my coffee and you’re already tempting fate.

Rubbing my face, I sigh. “Most likely now? Something is bound to be crushed. And there is a good chance that it’s mine.” Mentally I smack myself. “Stop that. You’ve had a good few days away from Ponyville and had a rather interesting time in a city that you sorta know. Think positively. Like Derpy said, ‘Happy thoughts.’”

The train starts coming to a rolling stop as I push myself out of the bed. I give my muscles another stretch before I shake up my shoulders. I pick my hat up in my teeth and attempt an ankle grabbing to put it back on my head. The results are less than stellar as it lands on my face. I force it up over my muzzle and get it on my head in time for the train to finally come to a complete stop. Next comes the saddlebags, I swear, these things come with variable difficulty on how they get on. Some days it’s easy, other days it’s hard. Today it’s... Easy.

“Now arriving in Ponyville! Now arriving in Ponyville! Have your tickets ready for your luggage!”

Walking back onto the train platform, we have come full circle. Sorta, maybe, fet I don’t know. Looking up at the sky I see a few random pegasi pushing clouds and preparing for the day. Minor grit and minutia.

Rarity looks at the pile of things that she has now loaded onto a trolley. “I didn’t purchase as many things as I hoped to...” She says whimpering. “Normally that pile is at least double what it is now!”

“So... How are we going to do this?” I ask.

“Do what?” Rarity asks me.

“Don’t tell me that I’m the only one that has thought this through?”

“Thought what through?” Spike asks.

“Well, are we going to go to Rarity’s and drop things off there and then go see this new house that I have been so...” I pause on the word. “Graciously given.” No! Happy thoughts!

“Well that’s what I thought was going to happen...” Rarity replies as a pony walks... my new bike... up to us. Gods, that thing just looks stupid.

“If we do that Rarity, then it’s going to take time. Because knowing you, you’ll want to put things away. And if you put things away then I’ll have to be there waiting for you.” I explain.

“Darling, you don’t have to wait for me, you know. Being back in Ponyville you are free to do and go as you please...” Rarity looks at the bike. “And you can do it all on your new bike!”

“But...” Heartbreak started.

“But what, darling? You’re a grown mare and capable of making choices on your own.” Rarity replies in a nonchalant manner. “Just do what works best for you.”

“But I don’t know where this house is, and I would rather that somep-pony be there for when the appraiser arrives.” Fuck, I hope she isn’t still fuming about what happened between Derpy and me... I nearly gag looking at this pink, girly thing with streamers and hearts overlapping the hubs. “Not to mention that I would like to make some alterations to the bike before riding it... I could use somep-pony’s help in that area... Somep-pony who is good with design and might be willing to generously offer a helping hoof?” Come on Rarity. This is the closest you’re going to get to me kissing your fucking marshmallow flank here. She’s rolling her eyes at me. “Fine,” I take the right handlebar’s streamers in my mouth. “I’ll do it myself.”

Rarity gasps at me as I pull these things out by the roots. “Darling what are you doing?!”

“Making some alterations to my new bike, Rarity!” I spit the overly pretty plastic things in the trash and grab the others to repeat. “If I am going to ride this gift, then I want it to look like I would ride it.” I look at her. “Not some six year old filly.”

She sighs. “If you want me to make alterations to your... brand new-”

“Slightly used,” I correct.

“It’s new to you darling,” She steams. “Then maybe we should go to my shop first, rather than your house?”

“I just kinda want to see this house and-” I begin.

“Hey!” Spike interrupts. “Here’s a crazy idea, how the both of you go see the house and I,” he looks at Rarity as if he is some knight in shining armor, “I’ll take your things to the shop that way you can put them away when you get back?”

“I...I’m ok with that idea. How about you Rarity?”

“Well...” She sighs a bit. “Alright, I’m a bit curious to see what this house of yours looks like as well."

==============================================================

The sound of bike tires and dust filled the air as Heartbreak almost gleefully rode circles around Rarity.

“Whoa!” She cried out, wobbling a bit on the bike.

“Careful!” Rarity shouted pulling back as the two of them passed Fluttershy’s cottage.

“I’m being careful! It’s just that I’m still getting used to it all...” Heartbreak replied peddling a bit faster and clicking one of the higher speeds. “It’s been months last I rode a bike...”

“Shouldn’t it be like, forgive the phrase here, ‘like riding a bike?’” Rarity asked, coughing on some of the dust. “Besides, you seemed to be doing quite well your first time back in Canterlot.”

“That was all adrenaline and fear, Rarity. I wasn’t exactly thinking- Whoa! Ha!” Heartbreak pushed the pedals harder for a sudden boost of speed. “I wasn’t thinking about riding the bike I borrowed.”

“You mean, ‘that you stole,’ Rarity corrected rolling her eyes.

“Hey! It got returned!” Heartbreak looked at Rarity worriedly. “You girls did return it right?”

“Not at all! I kept it and remodeled it to make a lovely centerpiece in my boudoir!” Rarity replied sarcastically. “Of course we returned it! Just who do you think we are?!”

“Oh,” Heartbreak replied looking around. “Good, cause I was going to ask what kind of dress a bike wears. Hey, is this the road we turn down?” She pointed out a road that looked more like a grassy meadow with old tire tracks running through it rather than a road. An old, tattered and tilted sign read, ‘Old Miller Drive.’

“I would say that it is...” She looked passed the small meadow on the left side of the Old Miller Drive. There, the outer reaches of the Everfree Forest lay. Vines, tendrils, and large broken trees stood ominously. Lurking, almost watching, waiting-

“BOO!” Heartbreak shouted.

“GAH!” Rarity doubled over. “Darling! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart-” she paused. “I mean, send me into cardiac arrest?”

“It’s alright to say, ‘heart attack,’ Rarity. I know you aren’t making a joke at my expense,” Heartbreak said, wobbling a bit on her bike. “But you were looking at the forest so intensely, and I kind of want to get to this house now.”

“Right, of course...” Rarity said, still nervously eyeing the plant life.

==============================================================

Rarity looked at the slowly changing scenery. It had to have been at least a good thirty minutes or so of walking before any signs of pony-made structures were in view again.

“I really do hope we arrive soon. It feels like we’ve been walking forever!” Rarity complained.

“Rarity, I can still see Ponyville from here. Or at least the town hall,” Heartbreak replied rolling her eyes. “Besides, it might not take this long if somep-pony wasn’t walking so slow.”

“Well, maybe if somepony wasn’t peddling so fast, I could keep up!” Rarity protested.

“I’m just using the bike that you bought me, Rarity. Aaaand I think we’re almost there! Look there’s a clearing in the trees!” Heartbreak replied, pushing herself to make a sudden burst of speed.

“Hey! Wait up!” Rarity called out, galloping after her.

Heartbreak had already dismounted and walked to the break in the trees that she described before Rarity finally caught up. She looked at the house in front of her.

It was a large two story house that appeared to have an attic. Above the broken door was a large heart-shaped window with a vine growing through the center. Surrounding that window were four smaller windows with various forms of damage and dilapidation. This place had been standing alone and abandoned for a good long time, judging by the height of the grass, the dead limbs jutting out of the two trees and various signs of decay and neglect.

“Oh, H.B...” Rarity said, dismayed at the state of the house. “This is just-”

“Perfect...” Heartbreak said, taking a first step to the small cobblestone pathway that lead to a doorway that barely hung on its hinges.

“You must be joking,” Rarity replied questioningly. Heartbreak’s face however was starting to crack a wide smile. “You're not joking. H.B! This house is just a mess!”

“Eeyup,” Heartbreak’s grin became even wider as a hoof went up to tap her chin. “I think I can work with this...”

“There’s a hole in the roof!” Rarity exclaimed. “And some of the siding is falling off!”

“That there is,” Heartbreak replied, lost in a minor thought and walking further down the outgrown path. “Heh. Hole in roof, hole in hoof..." She snickered looking up at the roof of the house. "That ought to get fixed before winter comes...”

Rarity backed away, only to find herself bumping into the mailbox. A mailbox that almost promptly fell over. “The mailbox is broken, as are some of the windows!”

“Ooo, windows could be expensive... Maybe I should talk to Twilight about that, after all,” She looked back at Rarity with a smile on her face and sparkles glittering in her eyes. “She should know a good window repair pony right?” Heartbreak chuckled a bit.

“H.B.! Darling! You can’t be serious! There are vines growing though that one window!” Rarity took a closer look and then gasped. “Are they actually part of the house structure now?”

“I like the one that’s going right through that main window... Kind of reminds you of somep-p-pony,” Heartbreak replied almost laughing and eyeing her flank before looking at Rarity with a wide grin. “Don’t you think?”

“Now see here! This is no laughing matter, H.B.!” Rarity fumbled. She pointed up to an odd pair of plants that decorated left side of the porch. “There are a pair of large snapdragons right next to your front door! Do you know how dangerous those are?! And if there are two that size, then there is sure to be at least a dozen more smaller ones!”

“Really? Are those what those are? How dangerous are they, Rarity?” She asked walking forward nearly halfway down the path. “They’re kinda ... cute... in a sorta messed up, ugly, and-”

Suddenly, the foot tall strange green and purple plant sprang to life! Eyespots on the top opening wide and antenna popping out of where it’s forehead would be. As Heartbreak jumped back, hand like leaves unfurled and it let out a low hissing sound.

Rarity raced forward. “See! They are quite dangerous!” She said, lifting up a hoof and attempting to pull Heartbreak away.

Heartbreak’s brow furrowed deeply and the hair in her mane and tail started to form tight curly spirals as she pushed the hoof away. “Nonsssenssse... It’sss... Jussst... A... Warning.... Sssign...” she said, glaring at the plant. The odd bit of dragonesque looking flora suddenly dropped and retracted all its defenses.

Heartbreak perked back up and smiled looking at Rarity. “See? No need to fret, Rarity!”

“But, but! This place looks like a death trap!” Rarity protested. “It’s horribly broken!”

Heartbreak looked Rarity square in the eyes. “Exactly!” she looked back up at the house. “It’s just like me...” She said distantly. “Broken... Battered, tattered, beaten, and in dire need of a little, ‘T.L.C.!’”

“But-” Rarity began.

“Look Rarity,” Heartbreak put her hooves on Rarity’s shoulders and smiled a wide grin. “This house has projects! Things that need fixing! And most of it is cosmetic! At least according to the deed. The floors are solid, and the frame is secure! All that is needed to be done are some minor projects!” She clasped her hooves together, her eyes sparkling in delight. “I can renovate...”

“But how are you ever going to pay for such things?!” Rarity asked.

“Don’t know! But I’ll figure something out. I’m sure there are ponies in Ponyville that are willing and able to help, will do so a little! But for the most part,” She took her hooves off the white unicorn's shoulders before starting to explore the rest of the yard. “The place has a great deal of things for me to do... things that will keep my h-hooves busy.”

Rarity blinked in confusion. “This place is just so... horribly run down. Well, not completely rundown, but still! It’s such a dump! Did Princess Luna know about all this before she bought the house?!” She sighed mentally as she watched Heartbreak walk around in the tall grass and look around in the windows. “However... it’s refreshing to see her actually happy about something for a change. Oh! Perhaps she has finally learned a lesson and I can move on with my life!”

Heartbreak peeked around the corner and did a double take. “Hey! Rarity!” she called out. “You’ve got to see this backyard!”

Rarity cautiously walked through the tangled mess that was a yard. “Aren’t you worried about things like ticks and bugs?” She whimpered.

“Wait? They have ticks here in Equestria? Heartbreak frowned in confusion. “I seriously hope they aren’t the size of small dogs or anything. But if that is the case... I’ll let you give me a brushing later. Still! Look at this!”

==============================================================

Alright, I might not be feeling as giddy as I am presenting myself.

But Derpy was right, if I give things a chance, they might not be so bad. Alright, to be fair: marshmallow butt was the one encouraging me to at least take a look at this place before judging it.

And honestly? I do like it.

This place is falling apart and looks like it has all these problems... And there are about a dozen little clichés I can spot on the outside alone. The, ‘broken heart,’ window? Check. The snapdragons to keep passer bys away? Check. And the whole dark spooky feel? Double check-a-runie!

But...

Something about this place calls to me.

‘Help fix me,’

‘I need repair,’

‘I need someone to love-’

Damn it. If I keep thinking about what this place is saying? I’m going to end up crying! But what I really like? It’s far enough away from Ponyville that I don’t have to be around the others all the time, but close enough that I can call out for help or bike there.

“Alright darling,” Rarity says, kicking her hooves and almost whimpering. “What is it that you want me to see?” She looks all sorts of uncomfortable while wading through the grass. She’s cautiously looking over my shoulder, afraid that something will come out and wreck her carefully groomed mane no doubt.

The backyard of this place looks like an untended private garden of sorts. There are two half dead trees that are in dire need of pruning, a few bushes that have overgrown, and in this shady area? There is a small fountain thing.
Walking over to the long dead fountain it seems to have a large seashore theme going. A few starfish on the sides, waves, and a large almost brain-coral mound looking thing in the middle of it. The grass back here is well overgrown, but peeking out the remnants of long unattended gardens are a few bright orange flowers. I even think there is a ...rose bush. And to all this? Rarity looks utterly terrified. And I couldn’t be happier!

I mentally face hoof. “Come on, H.B. stop that. We get that you like watching Rarity squirm and twist about, but it isn’t nice. Even if she got you a house in such a sneaky-sneak way...” “So! What do you think?” I smile, “It’s wonderful, right?”

Rarity’s face twists and she nods. “Just... splendid!”

I walk over to the dead looking tree to our far left. There’s something about this tree that I almost can recognize. “Hey, Rarity, you know anything about trees?” I tap the trunk and look to see if there is anything actually living on the tree. Just then I spy a few clusters of green on one of the far branches...

“Not really, darling. I’m a dress maker, not a tree doctor, remember? I say, with as much as you know about us, I would think thaaaaa- waha-ha!” She suddenly jumps back in fear.

“What? More snapdragons?”

“Darling! Look what you’re stepping in!” Rarity screeches in wide eyed terror. Looking down, I see why the fuck I should be worried.

Down near the base of the tree and just too my left is a little blue flower that I know all too well. And it’s brushing up against my leg. Looking around the trunk? I see a near carpet of neighbors.

“Fet! Is that-”

“Yes! We should get you to Zecora right away before its effects take hold, there’s no telling what, ‘joke,’ it will play on you!” Rarity whimpers and attempts to pull me away from the plant in question.

==============================================================

Heartbreak was still looking at the flower next to her leg while Rarity seemed to be in a panic. She then blinked and looked at the flower again.

“Rarity?”

“Darling, come along! We need to get you to Zecora’s immediately! Or perhaps this could be a chance to go to the spa?” Rarity asked a lit of amusement rolling across her face.

“I’m not sure that will be necessary or not, Rarity.” Heartbreak replied trying to shrug the unicorns’ hoof off her.

“What ever do you mean?” Rarity asked concernedly.

Heartbreak pointed at the plant. “Is poison joke meant to turn black and wither like that?” Just as she asked the question, the plant almost instantly crumbled along with several of its neighbors.

Rarity blinked. “Well... I’ve never seen that happen before...”

“D-d-did I just kill the joke?” Heartbreak asked, with a touch of disappointment in her voice.

Rarity blinked in confusion. “I... I don’t know but I would believe that you just did...”

Heartbreak’s head drooped and she sighed.

“What is it, darling? Poison joke isn't the sort of thing that you want growing around your house,” Rarity asked. “Is it?”

“It’s nothing, Rarity. I’m just... ugh... Never mind,” Heartbreak replied, the disappointment growing in her voice. “And no, I still don’t want to go to the spa. Thanks for the offer...”

Rarity blinked. Now she knew something was wrong. “She has been seething and nearly frothing at the mouth every time I even mention the notion of going to the spa!” “Please, I want to understand what’s wrong, darling. Is it because you killed it?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and walked past Rarity. “Part of it is that I was genuinely curious about what would happen, the other part of me says, ‘Whelp, one more thing to hammer in the fact that you aren’t really a pony, eh H.B?’”

Rarity’s head tilted. This had been the most open that Heartbreak had been with her about something. “It’s just a little poison joke, darling... And who knows? Perhaps tomorrow you’ll wake up with some ailment!”

Heartbreak snirked and walked up to the backdoor. “Yeah, sure. Any who... What’s say we take a look at what’s on the inside of this place?”

Author's Note

I drew this picture quite a long time ago, if you can't tell. And also, now you know what happens with poison Joke and HB! May your head canons rest in peace!

Crying All the Way to the Bank

Chapter 35

Crying All the Way to the Bank.

Heartbreak looked around the storage room a little bit before she heard the clock chime. There was a fancy chime that went off first denoting that it was half past the hour. She counted the rest of the chimes and concluded that it was eleven thirty.

“Huh, amazing how much time you can kill by looking through other p-p-pony’s old things,” She frowned as she stuttered on the word. Walking back out of the storage area she rolled her eyes. “You’d think that I would either get used to that little stutter or just give into saying, ‘pony,’” Not bothering to close the door behind her, she continued on her way to the kitchen area.

“Hmmm,” She looked over the kitchen. “Hello, future bane of my existence...” Tapping on the cupboards, she chuckled. “And by bane, I mean dishes and you guys. Fet, my hooves are such a fetting drag. Maybe I could work out a device or system where there are buttons I can push on you that make you open automatically... Something spring mounted... Yeah...”

Heartbreak smiled. “I haven’t been here a day and already I am thinking of what modifications I can make to you.” She looked around in a slightly paranoid manner. “And of course, I’m talking to myself. I ought to stop that right now.”
She looked around and took in the quietness of the house. The small creaks and groans here and there. The slow breezes and the sounds coming from the Everfree Forest as noon started to encroach.

“Wait, this is my house and my rules. And one of those rules is that I can talk to myself if I want to,” She looked around. “Though Rarity is going to be back here pretty soon... And I don’t feel like cleaning up... Yet. Hmmm, maybe I should go out there to meet her... I do feel bad about forcing her to come into my house,” Heartbreak started to giggle then snicker and finally burst out laughing. “Alright, yeah. There was a little part of me that enjoyed her discomfort in looking at all this. Truth be told, I’m half shocked that she didn’t just go into outright cleaning mode. Then again, she isn’t Twilight or Spike. Right! Going outside.”

Heartbreak looked at the front door. It looked like it was still attached by one hinge. The faded paint suggested that at one time it was red and the rest of the house; a maroon.

“Heh, I see the red door,” Heartbreak said without any musicalness in her voice. “And I want to paint it black. Maybe keep the original colours...” she mused as she walked to the mailbox, taking note that Rarity had knocked it over earlier.

‘Hmph, marshmallow keeps wanting to buy me things, maybe she should buy me a new mailbox...’ She thought as she peered inside of it. Just then she spied a sheet of paper. ‘Oh, oh? What this?’

Reaching in, she attempted to pull it out with her hoof, only to find that the paper kept getting pushed back. “Fet. Locks. Come on! It’s just a paper! Won’t you allow me a slip of paper!? Ugh, stupid hooves.” Frustrated, she stuck her muzzle in and pulled the paper out before it could get pushed back any further. Placing it on the ground she blew a raspberry at the box. “Once I get some decent funds? Mailbox, your days are numbered.”

She looked at the sheet and began to read:

“Current resident, I arrived here earlier this morning to run a routine inspection of lot number 350 subset B, but was unable to find you. As the door was open, (one of the structural defects that will be listed in the list below), I did however proceed with my inspection, finding several structural defects, that will need to be addressed with a local contractor, (list of contractors is provided on back of this paper). Be assured that most of these things are superficial for the time being, however should be taken care of before summer’s end, lest your property be deemed, ‘Unfit for habitation.’ Any future appointments can be obtained at Ponyville Town Hall for a nominal fee.

Signed, Inspector Pony Number Nine.

P.S.

Next time, please be on site for any future inspection at the time of the inspection. There was a removal of a wasp’s nest in the greenhouse area. This was done at my own risk. Thank you and have a pleasant day.”

Heartbreak frowned. “Fetting jerk... Not my fault that the train arrives when...” She took a deep breath. “Fet. Whatever. At least that’s one thing off my mind.” She picked the paper up and slid it into her saddlebags. “Now! Let’s go see if I can’t find Rarity!”

Heartbreak looked at her bike. “Do I want to walk to Ponyville or ride that gawd awful pink thing...” She sighed. “I want to get it painted and those hubs removed before riding it again. So, walking it is.”

==============================================================

I think that it took a good twenty minutes to get to the house before, and because I had to pedal slowly for marshmallow, it took me that long to walk all the way down this road.

The good news is that my hoof has become less achy when I walk. This is most likely because the nerves in that area have either become accustomed to walking or because they have died in that area. Looking up at the sign at this crossroad, I inspect my hoof just to make sure nothing’s stuck in it. Having a rock in your shoe is annoying as it is, having something stuck in a hole in your hoof would most likely be just as bad. Good. Clean as a whistle.

“When I have the time? I’m talking to Pepper about that mechanical plug...” I mutter to myself. Looking around, I can see Fluttershy’s cottage from here. I can almost make out a few animals hanging around her place. Some birds and a random brown thing or two.

Just then, a whole flock of birds sets for the skies off in the opposite direction of my current position. I wouldn’t think anything of this until I see Fluttershy off in the distance reaching for the sky. She looks like she’s calling out to them. I can’t hear her from this distance, but then her head droops down and she looks sad. She then looks up and sees me. I wave at her. Even from this distance? She jumps and then shyly waves back. She then slowly walks backward into her little cottage before closing the door.

Fet-fuck. I was so happy about my new house just not too long ago. And now I have to face the, ‘realities,’ of my situation. Then again, maybe I’m reading too much into this moment. Maybe the birds were flying off somewhere else in search of food and Fluttershy was waving them off.

I walk past Fluttershy’s place and try not to make too much noise. But the place is now deathly quiet. Not an animal, insect or anything in sight. I take a deep breath. We don’t need to think about this sort of thing right now.

Right now we just need to find Rarity and do something of value today.

And lucky for me? I don’t have to wait too long in finding marshmallow! Walking along the main road, her soft little white head and purple mane sticks out like a sore thumb. She’s looking rather happy about something, and seems to be talking. I can’t tell if it is to someone or somepony or just herself.

Hope she doesn’t have too many plans.

“H.B!” She says as we meet up. “What are you doing out? I thought that we agreed to meet at your house at noon.”

“Well, it turns out that the inspector came early and left a list of things wrong with the house,” I frown. “And while he removed a wasp’s nest, he was pretty rude about it in the letter. But we have a list of things to work on and all we need now is a contractor and some p-p-ponies to do it!”

“Contractors? Who needs contractors when you have us!” Comes a familiar, tomboyish voice from down below.

Looking down, I see a face, well, three faces, to be precise. Fuck. It’s the three little fillies that I have wanted to avoid running into almost at all costs.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Not because of their, ‘devil may care,’ reputation, not because of the fact that you can be bipolar about whether or not you like them, not because- Ok! Fine! Because of those two reasons and many more!

“Scootaloo! Sweetie Belle! Apple Bloom!” I shout almost involuntarily.

“She knows our names?” Sweetie Belle asks. Gah! She does squeak!

“Yeah, ah think Applejack told her,” Apple Bloom replies, walking under me. What the hell?!

I suddenly feel my tail getting tugged on and puffed up. “Wow, Rarity! You were right! Her tail does need a lot of brushing!” I turn suddenly and see Sweetie Bell giving me a wide smile that is accompanied with a small, ‘squee,’ noise.

Alright, things are getting too touchy! I jump away from the three little fillies and land right next to Rarity, my face twitching all the while.

Looking at these three fillies, I see something exceptionally wrong. We’ve reached a non-canon singularity here. What am I referring to?

The fact that these three still have blank-flanks.

I clearly remember them getting their cutie marks. I remember the joy, frustration, and frothing reactions of the bronies as they all watched this happen.

And yet here they are standing before me; flanks unbranded by fate.

Alright, I shouldn’t use those words to describe this meeting. But this has severe implications on what version of Equestria I have found myself in.

Is it an alternate Equestria? Has my arrival altered the timeline somehow, causing particular events never to take place? Is this somewhere before the last episode of Season Three?! What is happening here?! What’s going on! Ugh! If I keep over-thinking this I am going to panic and freak out in front of them!

I shake my head of my concerns. They can wait till I’m alone where I can make a list of the non-canon things I have been noticing. Right now, Rarity is looking at me with a shit-eating grin for some reason.

“Oh... You’ve brought...” I swallow hard as the three curious fillies look up at me with bright eyes. “Company...”

“Yes! You see, while I promised you that we would meet up back at noon,” Rarity begins, “I haven’t seen my precious little sister in over two months! So, I concluded that you wouldn’t mind if she, ‘tagged along,’ as it were, while we explore more of your new house!”

What are you doing, marshmallow? You were complaining that my house was a death trap! Now you want to bring- Ugh! Monologuing again! “Heh, Of course not, but-” I look at the three of them. “Girls, would you mind giving Rarity and I a little alone time for a private conversation?” I ask, attempting to pull Rarity to the side.

“Darling what is it?” Rarity asks me.

“Rarity! Keep your voice down! Just what do you think you’re doing!?” I whisper harshly.

She looks at me with a near pouty face. “You always act like I’ve done something wrong!” She whimpers.

“Ooooh, don’t try that with me, Marshmallow!” Rarity jumps as I just outright use the special nick-name. “You were going on and on about how my house looks like a death trap not almost two hours ago! And now you’re bringing your sister and her friends to go and see it?!”

“Well, I had a change of heart!” She replies looking at me sympathetically. “After a little talk with Twilight and Applejack; I realized that I was over reacting and that your house really does just need a little, as you put it, TLC.”

I frown. “Rarity, you’re going to have to excuse me, but I have some serious doubts about your intentions here.”

“Come now, are you still upset about the auction?” Rarity asks me. “It did result in you getting a house. And one that you said that you absolutely loved,” Her smile, almost musical tone of voice, and the fact that there are three little impressionable little fillies not even five feet away from me, are making it really, really hard to express my true rage here.

“Rarity!” As I begin to attempt to explain all the things wrong in this situation, I feel a tapping on my shoulder. Looking down I see Apple Bloom.

“Miss H.B?” She begins, “We’d understand if ya don’t want us around.”
Fuuuuck. Fuck! FUCK! The three of them are looking up at me with the big cute eyes. I brush my mane back a bit and let out a nervous laugh.

“Look girls it isn’t-” Fuck! Those Eyes! Those fucking eyes! Why are they so fucking cute!? “I mean it isn’t anything, my house is just a bit of a-” I start to back away from the big eyed adorable pint sized fillies who... Fuck!!! “Ugh!” I glare at Rarity. “You have until after I set up a bank account to convince me otherwise! Okay!? Now, where is the bank?”

Apple Bloom points across the street. “Ya mean that one there? ‘Cause there are two banks in Ponyville.”

“Uhm,” Wow, how convenient. “I think that will do just fine. Thank you, Apple Bloom.”

==============================================================

As the ponies entered the Wells Cargo bank, Rarity silently cheered on the inside. Heartbreak almost seemed powerless before the mere glance of these three fillies. 'I dare say that I could almost get her to do anything with these three with me! Maybe even get her into a dress...' she bit her lip. 'No Rarity! Don’t abuse your newly found powers here! She’ll catch on too quickly if you do!'

“Oh hey!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed excitedly. “Maybe we could earn our marks in banking!”

“Banking?” Scootaloo asked. “Banking? Are you serious? Standing in one place all day and doing all that math? That’s just boring!”

“On the plus side, we’d be around a lot of money!” Apple Bloom said picking up a pen and attempting to fill out a small scrap of paper.

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you three try to earn your marks in something you’re actually good at? For example-”

Suddenly Rarity grabbed Heartbreak’s mouth with her magic!

“H.B, Darling! Your hooves and face are just looking all sorts of dirty!” She said with a rather concerned look on her face. “Why don’t we take a moment and wash up before we set you up a bit account?” Rarity picked up three lollipops and offered them to the girls. “Why don’t you three stay out here and wait for us? We won’t be but a moment!”

Rarity glared at Heartbreak the moment that the bathroom door closed behind them. “Just what do you think you’re doing?!”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity and pointed out the fact that her muzzle was still being held in place by the unicorns’ magic. Rarity lightly giggled and let her muzzle go. “I hate whenever unicorns do that. Now, what the fet are you going on about? I know that I was being a bit harsh on the street but that’s no reason to-”

“This isn’t about what happened on the street! With what you know about everypony, tell me that you weren’t going to just outright tell my sister and her friends exactly what their real talents were just now!” Rarity replied with growing concern.

Heartbreak blinked nervously and looked around while raising a hoof. “Maybe... Why? Is that bad or something? Cause seriously, those three’s talents are as plain as the nose on my-”

“Is that bad!?” Rarity exclaimed trying to keep her voice down. “Is that bad!? Yes! That is very bad! I swear darling, you claim to know practically everything about us and yet you don’t know whether or not it is bad if you just outright tell a pony what their special talent is?!”

“Rarity, I don’t know everything that there is to know about Equestria. Just a lot of things. Now, please. Calm down and explain to me why we can’t just tell them.” Heartbreak said, rubbing her temples.

“Alright, to put it simply, a pony must find their special talent in order to earn their cutie marks. If they are outright told what their talents are? They’ll never earn their cutie marks!”

Heartbreak looked at Rarity blankly. “Are you pulling my leg here, Rarity?”

“I assure you that I am not pulling your leg, H.B! And the proper term is, ‘pulling ones tail,’” Rarity explained, turning on the faucet. “Please put your hooves in the sink. Part of the magic of a cutie mark is finding out what your special talent is! The journey, if you will!”

Heartbreak placed her hooves in the running water. “In your case, the journey was pretty long and ended with a rock...”

Rarity blinked and looked in the mirror before looking at Heartbreak. “Please don’t try to change the subject. The point here is that you can’t outright-”

“Tell them what their special talents are or they’ll never earn their cutie marks. Got it,” Heartbreak shook her hooves before arcing one in front of her and giving a faux smile. “The more you know.”

Rarity dried Heartbreak’s hooves. “I’m not sure I understand the reference...”

“Never mind me, Rarity. I’m just trying to amuse myself.” Heartbreak replied as she headbutted the door open. “Right! So let’s go set up that bit account!”

Rarity smiled. Heartbreak didn’t put up any fuss whatsoever! No arguments, no complaints, not even an outburst stating how stupid she found this!

“Alright, No lines,” Heartbreak said walking up to the counter. “Uhm, Rarity I haven’t a clue how to do this.”

“Darling, that’s what bank tellers are for, to help you out if you have questions...” Rarity replied.

“How old do you have to be to be a bank teller?” Scootaloo asked the chocolate brown stallion behind the counter. Heartbreak coughed and looked down. The little orange filly looked up and gave a nervous chuckle before getting out of the way before rejoining her friends as they tried to make head or tails of the withdraw slips.

The stallion looked over his gold rimmed glasses and gave a warm smile. “Hello, my name is Bit Counter, I’ll be your teller for today. What can I help you with?”

Heartbreak took a deep breath. “Hi, my name is Heartbreak and I’m new to... uhm, Ponyville and I am looking to start a savings account.”

“Alright, have you had an account with us before?” He asked.

“No, I have not...” Heartbreak answered.

“In that case, we will need to fill out some paperwork,” Bit Counter, replied placing a small stack of paperwork on the counter.

“Oh joy...” Heartbreak replied sarcastically. “Cause the best part of any day is mounds of paperwork...”

Bit Counter chuckled, “For me it is, Miss Heartbreak. Though I suppose that most ponies dread filling out lines and boxes. I find it a nice break from constantly counting piles of bits.”

Heartbreak looked over to Rarity who shrugged her shoulders as if to say, ‘Some ponies are just like that.’

“Right, whatever floats your boat. But if I am going to be banking at your bank... You should know two things about me, important things-” Heartbreak started.

“A good bank teller should know as much about their current, or future customers,” He leaned over the counter and waggled his eyebrows. “Please do enlighten me about these important things...”

Heartbreak felt her eye twitch a bit. “Right, three things now. One, don’t call me miss. Two, don’t call me Heartbreak. Please call me, ‘H.B.’ And three... Never say anything like that ever again while waggling your eyebrows. It’s fff-” her eyes glanced back at the three fillies behind her. Scootaloo had rejoined her friends sitting on the chairs near the doorway. “flipping creepy.” She said, grabbing the paperwork off the counter and turning away.

“H.B!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Just telling it like it is, Rarity.” Heartbreak replied.

Bit Counter rolled his eyes before blinking as Heartbreak started to walk away. “Hold up a second! Mis- I mean H.B!”

Heartbreak sighed and turned around. “Yes? Did you forget some more paperwork to fill out?”

“Uhm, not at all,” Bit Counter started to tap his hooves together. “Just a few questions if you will.”

Heartbreak turned around and spat the paperwork on the counter. “Fine, but make them quick, I have to see about some contractors with regards to fixing a house...”

“Well, that answers at least one of the questions,” Bit Counter coughed. “This might be an odd question, but do by chance have a hole drilled in your right hoof?”

Heartbreak quirked a little bit. “Yes, yes I do. I guess the rumor mill around here-”

“Oh, I didn’t hear this from the rumor mill,” Bit Counter waggled his hooves at Heartbreak, before looking her over once again. “Let’s see, blue eyes, brown mane and tail, black broken heart cutie mark,” He began to rummage through several stacks of paperwork on his desk. “A new homeowner... And hole in your hoof!”

“I... don’t like where this is headed...” Heartbreak said questioningly.

“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.

“It sounds like he knows too much about me, Rarity. That kinda sets me on edge,” She replied.

“Isn’t terribly fun when the shoe is on the other hoof now is it?” Rarity quipped. Heartbreak shot her a dirty look. “I’m just, ‘telling it like it is,’ darling...”

“Ah-ha! Here it is! A newly started account for one, ‘Heartbreak,’ prefers to be called, ‘H.B.’ with all the traits that I have currently listed!” Bit Counter said as he set the paperwork on the counter.

“What?” Heartbreak replied blankly.

“It means that you already have a bit account with us,” He replied, tapping his hoof on the paperwork.

Heartbreak blinked, opened her mouth, turned and looked at the bank teller once again before shaking her head. “There must be some mistake. I haven’t even opened an account with you.”

Bit Counter looked back and forth. “Nope. No mistake, the paperwork was filed yesterday with all the details and...” He looked the paperwork. “Address provided. 350 Olde Miller Rd?”

“Alright, not only does that have to be a mistake, but that’s down right creepy,” Heartbreak replied, growing concerned. “I wasn’t here yesterday. Who started this account?”

Bit Counter adjusted his glasses. “That party wishes to remain anonymous.”

“Aaand the creepy factor just shot up. Rarity any thoughts?” Heartbreak said turning around.

“I wish I had some anonymous pony donating money to me in my name...” Rarity replied, wistfully.

Heartbreak put her hooves on Rarity’s shoulders. “Rarity this is serious. There is some strange p-pony that I don’t know starting bank accounts in my name, who knows where I live. In Mineighsota? Those could be grounds for filing a lawsuit. That p-p-pony could be using my information to perform illegal transactions or fund- I don’t know, whatever p-pones consider crimes around here!”

“Uhm, H.B.?” Bit Counter said waving his hoof. “Hi. Might I add that this anonymous donor left instructions, rather specific instructions, detailing that you, and only you, are allowed to said funds?”

Heartbreak rubbed her hoof on her temple. “Right, this is clearly a mistake; So, let’s start this over. My name is Heartbreak. Please call me, ‘H.B.’ I have come to your fine establishment to start an account. To do that I am going to have to file this paperwork.” She tried to grab the paperwork off the counter, however Bit Counter put his hoof down and pulled the paperwork back.

“Right. Hello, H.B., my name is Bit Counter. I am your bank teller for today. I am afraid to inform you that you already have an account with us. And that you won’t be needing to fill out the paperwork,” He replied.

Heartbreak chuckled and rubbed her temple again. “Right, you’ll have to excuse me but I’m foreign and something might be getting lost in translation here.”

Bit Counter chuckled. “I assure you that nothing is getting lost in translation, you already have a pre-existing account with a rather large sum that has been recently donated in your name and all that is needed to access this account is your hoofprint, a signature here, and a small drawing of your cutie mark right here...” He offered her the paperwork. Heartbreak glared and was about to open her mouth when Rarity stepped in.

“You’ll have to excuse her, as she said before, she’s foreign,” Rarity began. “Why exactly are you being so pushy about this? What do you have to gain from this?”

Bit Counter took a deep breath. “Right, I’ll level with you. The donor of the account took out a large loan with us. However, due to some rather sticky red tape and large amounts of paperwork, we can’t access that loan unless H.B.’s account is activated. And if I’m the one that performs this transaction, then I have the chance to get a promotion!”

Heartbreak face hoofed. “That is the second most convoluted explanation I have ever heard.” She looked at Rarity. “The second...” She turned back to Bit Counter. “And something about it sounds not only sketchy but sleezy. The only thing I can say that is positive here is that at least you’re being honest with your sleeziness. Unlike some p-p-ponies I know.”

“You’re not going to let that go for a while are you?” Rarity asked irritatedly.

“If I get to be an old nag and I’m asking it on your grave,” Heartbreak replied chuckling lightly.

Rarity glared at Heartbreak. “Charming.” She turned back to Bit Counter. “How much is in this account exactly?”

Bit Counter looked around nervously. “Uhm... Well... Let me write that down...” He quickly jotted down a number on a slip of scratch paper. “Uhm... Here.”

Rarity floated the paper up. “Alright let’s take a look and see what this fuss has been all aboooooo-!” Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth.

Heartbreak looked over at the paper. “What is it... Holy FET!” She coughed and glared at Bit Counter. “There has to be some mistake. That is waaay too much.”

Rarity grabbed Heartbreak. “Too much! Too much!? H.B. Darling! You are being offered, ‘free money!’ You’re rich!”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity. “Rarity, there is no such thing as, ‘free money!’ Particularly from a bank! That’s ten times what the Princess paid for the house I am living in!”

Rarity shook her hoof and muttered something to herself before bursting out in frustration. “H.B! This is a, ‘good thing!’ Some pony has seen your plight and is offering you a way to start your new life! Why are you so hesitant in taking it?!”

“Because nothing in life is free and everything comes with a cost!” Heartbreak argued. “This is money from a strange p-p-pony! You don’t let Sweetie Belle take candy from strange stallions in white vans do you?!”

Rarity shook her head. “I beg your pardon?”

“Let me rephrase that. You don’t let Sweetie Belle take candy from strangers pulling white carts do you?!”

“Of course not!” Rarity replied looking shocked at even the notion of such a thing.

“Right, then why should I take this money!?” Heartbreak asked.

“Because it is being generously offered to you and all you have to do is give a hoof print, a signature and a small drawing of your cutie mark! Then you can do whatever you want with it! Why with is this small fortune, you could hire the best contractors you like, make whatever modifications you want to that, ‘house,’ you have, or even just bulldoze the whole thing and rebuild a new one!” Rarity said exasperatedly.

Heartbreak’s head dropped. “And add another punch to my, ‘Mary Sue,’ card while I’m at it...” She sighed. “You know what. Fine. Fet it. I’ll sign the stupid paperwork.”

Rarity squeed in delight.

“But.” Heartbreak glared at Rarity. “I am going to make it clear that I am very unhappy about this, that if there are any negative repercussions in taking this money, that you; Rarity, as being one of my... uhm, guardians, or whatever it is that foreign diplomats have, are in part responsible and all the money is going to repairs on the house along with any expenses that go along with it. Nothing frivolous...”

Rarity took a deep breath as Heartbreak took the paperwork from Bit Counter. “That’s fine by me, darling. After all it isn’t my money to spend... Though if you have anything left over, perchance could I change your mind and interest you in some totally non-frivolous decorations designed by yours truly?”

Heartbreak lifted her head in frustration before hitting it on the counter. “Ugh!”

Going to the Hardware Store

Chapter 36

Going to the Hardware Store

“So let me get this straight. All I have to do to pay for things is stamp my hoof, sign something and draw my cutie mark?” Heartbreak asked questioningly, as she looked back at the bank.

“That’s right!” Rarity answered, “What’s wrong?”

“I just got a large amount of money for doing nothing-” Heartbreak answered.

“Think of it as something that will help with your recovery!” Rarity answered, the girls nearly rushing past her out of the bank.

“I changed my mind,” Scootaloo said, grabbing her scooter and donning her helmet. “I so don’t want to be a banker. The most boring job ever.”

“Not ta mention complicated. Even ah didn’t understand what that Bit Counter fella’ was talkin’ about! An ma brother does all the finances fer the farm!” Apple Bloom replied.

“And he was talking about paperwork being fun! Rarity hates paperwork!” Sweetie Belle chimed walking next to her sister. Rarity smiled at her sister and then suddenly found herself getting glomped by the little filly. “I missed you so much!” Heartbreak looked at the scene next to her. She sniffed hard and coughed.

Rarity hugged Sweetie Belle back. “Aww, I missed you too!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Ugh... Everything’s getting... Mushy. And I don’t want to earn my mark in, ‘mushiness.’”

Apple Bloom snorted. “Ah, come on Scoots! Sweetie Belle is just excited ta see her big sis! Ah bet ya’ll be just as happy ta see Rainbow Dash when she gets back.”

“Yeaaaah, but that’s Rainbow Dash! Besides, I would never be like that,” Scootaloo replied. As she looked back, Sweetie Belle stuck her tongue out and bounced along with Rarity happily.

Apple Bloom coughed and looked around. “Ah... Hey! H.B!”

Heartbreak jumped and looked up at Apple Bloom. “Huh?!”

“Uhm, sorry, didn’t mean ta startle ya. Ah was just wonderin’... How’d ya get yer cutie mark?”

==============================================================

Chalk another reason I didn’t want to meet these three: That question.

Bad enough that I have a constant reminder about this stupid thing burned into my ass. It’s even worse when asked by little fillies who want to learn everything there is to know about cutie marks. But then again, I already covered this like... two- three days ago when meeting Creampuff and crew? Fuck, that seems so long ago now...

“Yeah!” Scootaloo interjects. “How do you get a broken heart as your cutie mark?”

I am once again, forced to think about things on the fly and come up with an idea about what to tell others. But it is with good reason. I don’t need these ponies thinking about, ‘poor-pity-me-Heartbreak.’ I especially don’t need three young fillies thinking about these things.

Original Equestria or not, they have lives to live.

“Ah’ve never see anypony with a black heart like yers-” Apple Bloom says looking at my flank with a disturbing fascination. Her hoof starts to reach out when I jump back.

“Please! No touching,” I cry out. Apple Bloom looks at me in fright. “I... well- There’s scars under the mark... and they really hurt when others touch it.”

“Oh yeah,” Scootaloo says rolling along. “Mars Orange said something about that happening last week. I think a filly named Cream Puff hugged on you, right?”

“Right,” I reply. Rarity says nothing. She’s just most likely seeing how I am reacting and trying to handle myself here. Alright, time to make something up. “As far how I earned it?” Fuck, the gambit of emotions that I have been through in the past ten minutes is annoying. I wouldn’t mind all this if I could just grow numb to these feelings! “When I was young, I told a really sad story and made everyp-p-pony cry.”

“Wait, so telling sad stories is your special talent?” Scootaloo asks, turning and looking at me.

I just shrug. “Oh, Scootaloo, don’t be silly. I don’t tell sad stories! I am a sad story!” Ugh, getting sick of the funk I’m in. But: I see something that will cheer me up and another thing that can make me feel like I’ve done something productive. “Say, did you girls have lunch? We can go to Sugar Cube Corner and then the Hardware Store. My treat!”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asks.

“Score! That sounds awesome!” Scootaloo cheers zipping forward.

“Hey! Wait up!” Apple Bloom calls out.

Rarity gives me a look. “I thought you said, ‘No frivolous spending?’”

Damn it Rarity. I’m trying to... Not monolog so much. Right, just say what you need to say. “This isn’t frivolous, growing fillies need to be fed. And besides: I need some chocolate. Chocolate is never frivolous.” I reply, following the girls into Sugar Cube Corner.

After we’ve sat down in the shop, Mrs Cake came out and asked what we’d like. I said that I wanted an eclair, while the girls wanted various forms of cake. Rarity didn’t want anything too sweet, commenting on watching her weight. So she ordered hot water with lemon in it.

The girls ate their sweet treats and I munched down on my eclair, which was of course as good as I expected it to be. For a moment I ponder if there isn’t any food here in Equestria that doesn’t taste good. Then I look down at Apple Bloom and am reminded of the first time these three got together officially. I say officially due to the fact that they were seen huddled together in the first episode of the show.

Rarity is giving me this look of disapproval as I scarf down my treat.

“You know you are going to be paying for that later, right darling?” She asks me sipping on her lemon tea.

“Yeah,” I swallow. “With bits.”

“That isn’t what I mean, H.B,” She replies frowning. “You ought to watch your weight, after all: those sort of things go straight to your flanks!”

I just want to point out that there isn’t a single part of me that cares about that sort of thing. True, I want to keep healthy, but a fucking donut filled with a rich creme and covered in a rich chocolate glaze that melts in your- I definitely take another bite and finish the eclair off. I lick my lips.

“You might be on a diet, Rarity,” Mmm! Yeah, that hits the spot. “But that doesn’t mean that the rest of us can’t enjoy a nice treat.” I look at the three fillies who are practically gorging themselves on their cakes of choice. “Right girls?”

“Right!” Scootaloo says with a mouth full.

“Eeyup!” Apple Bloom replies after swallowing.

Sweetie Belle realizes how messy she is eating and merely nods, her cheeks still stuffed with cake.

Rarity looks at the frosting covered fillies. Once again? I am delighting in a bit of pleasure created by her discomfort. “Sweetie Belle!” Her sister looks up at her with big eyes. Fuck, Rarity might be older and more trained in the art of, ‘shining-eye-fu?’ But the little dictionary has it down to a science.

“Hmmph?” Sweetie Belle asks, trying not to spit crumbs.

Rarity pauses and takes a deep breath. “Uhm, smaller bites and after this? Please do remember to wash up in the bathroom...” She proceeds to pull a mirror from her saddlebags and preen a bit. “Speaking of which, if you don’t mind, I need to go freshen up.”

“It’s a free country, right?” I reply. Rarity once again gives me a strange look. “I don’t mind, Rarity. Go, freshen up.” ‘Again.’ I quietly add.

After Rarity leaves, I realize that I am alone with these three fillies. Three fillies that I have given sugary treats to because I was feeling generous for a moment.

Crap.

==============================================================

“So!” Apple Bloom said, licking her hooves clean. “Have ya decided on whether or not we can come an’ see yer house?”

Heartbreak shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I’m still undecided.”

“Ah, come on! We three can be of big help ta ya, H.B!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Yeah! Totally!” Scootaloo said joining her friends’ enthusiasm. She leaned her chin on her hooves and waggled her eyebrows. “And if we do a really good job, maybe we could get a... reward for our hard work?” Apple Bloom frowned at Scootaloo. “What? I’m just saying...”

“Applejack says that hard work is it’s own reward!” Apple Bloom chided.

“Oh come on!” Scootaloo rolled her eyes at Apple Bloom. “She’s got bits to-”

Heartbreak put her hooves up between the two fillies. “Girls. Please, no fighting? Look, I haven’t even decided whether or not I want you there to begin with. There might be some dangers that I don’t even know about.”

“No offense there, H.B. but we’re not little foals! We can handle ourselves,” Apple Bloom retorted. Scootaloo got up from her seat as she spied on Heartbreak’s saddle bags.

“I’m sure you can, Apple Bloom,” Heartbreak replied scratching her head and chuckling a bit. “It’s just- Hey!” She shouted as Scootaloo took the blueprints and list from the saddlebags.

“Wow! This is a big job here, girls!” Apple Bloom said, looking over the list of things and comparing them with the blueprints.

“You’re telling me!” Scootaloo said pointing at the roof. “According to this? There’s a hole in the roof! I could totally get up there and take care of it!”

Heartbreak cringed as she saw that the little filly’s hoof was still had a bit of frosting on it. “Girrrls...” She whimpered.

“The windows need replacin’,” Apple Bloom looked up at Heartbreak. “Ya might want ta think about gettin’ rid of that one window in front if it has somethin’ growing through it.”

“Wow, this could take a really long time!” Sweetie Belle said, resting her face on her hooves and her elbows on the edge of the blueprints.

“If ya got one of yer fancy tunes out there, we could be done in no time there, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom pointed out as she waved her hoof in the air.

“Apple Bloo-” Heartbreak’s voice turned nervous as she saw the frosting off the little filly’s hoof get flung about.

“Yeah! I mean, as long as I don’t have to join in...” Scootaloo smiled as she leaned her arm on the table, causing the blueprints to crinkle.

Heartbreak found herself not being able to stand it anymore. “Girls!” She shouted. The three little fillies jumped in fright as she took deep breaths through her nose.

“Yeees?” They asked in unison.

“One,” Heartbreak began, trying to keep her calm. “Please, remove hooves from blueprints. I might not be as fastidious as your sister when it comes to keeping things clean, Sweetie Belle. But this is the only copy of blueprints I have!”

“Oh, right... Sorry H.B,” Sweetie Belle said as her and her friends pulled their hooves away from the paper.

“Thank you,” Heartbreak pulled the papers away from the table with her mouth and shook them off before attempting to fold them up. “Secondly, I haven’t decided whether or not I want you at my house right now! I just got it and as you saw from the list: it needs extensive work in some areas!”

“But we could help with that!” Apple Bloom protested as Heartbreak shoved the paperwork back into her saddlebags.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo frowned. “We’ve totally taken care of projects like this before!”

Heartbreak took another deep breath. “Right. Girls, as nice as it is for you to offer your assistance-” She turned her head and avoided eye contact with the three fillies. “I would rather have this done by professional p-p-ponies. No offense.”

“Could we at least come over and see what the house looks like?” Sweetie Belle asked, attempting to look at Heartbreak in the eyes.

Heartbreak turned her head. “Maybe... I don’t know... I mean if you did there would have to be a few rules that you would have to follow.” She scratched her neck.

“Pfffft, rules?” Scootaloo asked. Just then, Sweetie Belle elbowed her friend. “Uhm, I mean, rules? We can follow a few simple rules no problem!”

“Are you sure? Cause if you came to my house, and I mean, ‘If,’ you came? There would be no unnecessary stunts,” Heartbreak’s eyes shot right at Scootaloo.

“Why are you looking at me?”Scootaloo asked, confused.

“No reason...” Heartbreak replied before she looked at Apple Bloom. “Secondly, there will be no alterations to my plans. I have ideas for what I want.”

“What if ah have a better idea?” Apple Bloom asked frowning.

“Then bring it to me and I will consider it,” Heartbreak replied searching around in her saddlebags for something. She pulled out several golden bits. “Fifteen bits for everything, Mrs Cake?”

“That’s right!” Mrs. Cake replied looking back around the corner.

Heartbreak laid the bits on the counter. “And finally,” Her eyes turned to Sweetie Belle. “And this is important. No. Singing.”

“No singing!?” Sweetie Belle nearly teared. “Why not?!”

“It’s nothing against you, Sweetie Belle. I’m just not the singing type,” Heartbreak replied, shrugging her shoulders and getting up. “Are you three sure that you still want to come to my house right now?”

The three fillies looked a bit more questioning now that Heartbreak had laid down such sterile stipulations.

“Uhm...” Apple Bloom started.

“Well...” Scootaloo flumbled.

“Hmm...” Sweetie Belle hummed.

“How about this?” Heartbreak looked at the three. “We’ll go to the hardware store, I’ll look at supplies and you three can think about whether or not you want to come. Kay?”

“I guess that’s alright...” Apple Bloom replied.

Heartbreak turned and smiled. She could totally beat Rarity at whatever game she was attempting to play here!

==============================================================

Rarity returned from the bathroom looking as fresh as a daisy. Looking around however, she saw that Sugar Cube Corner was devoid of any fillies or tan mares.

“Mrs. Cake!” She called out. “Mrs. Cake!”

Mrs. Cake popped out with Pumpkin clinging to her neck and nomming on her mane. “Oh yes, Miss Rarity?”

“Did they leave without me?” Rarity asked, looking at the little clinging foal.

“Oh, I’m afraid so! They were going to the hardware store if I’m not mistaken,” Mrs. Cake replied kissing her daughter’s cheek. “Down, Pumpkin. Go play with your brother.”

“Thank you eversomuch!” Rarity walked out the door. Looking around the street, she noticed the door to the Ponyville Hardware store swinging closed. “Hmm, I must have just missed them. Those three must be really adept at getting past H.B’s defenses if she let them follow her to the hardware store!” She paused. “It is fun to watch her... squirm a bit, but how am I going to get her to actually learn anything from all this? Particularly about generosity?” She sighed and pushed the door open. “We’ll just have to take this in stride and strike when the iron is hot!”

As she walked into the hardware store, her eyes were assaulted with the harsh spiky metal tools that came with manual labor and home improvement projects. She peered around and attempted to spot her sister.

“I don’t know about this now,” Came Scootaloo’s voice to her left. The three little fillies were sitting on a comfortable looking hanging swing that had been put out on display for the store. “I mean, it seemed like a fun idea at first? But she’s seems like such a stick in the mud now!”

“Ah don’t remember Crab Apple sayin’ anythin’ about her puttin’ down so many rules when he was with her! In fact, she left him alone for a while at that weird party he goes ta!” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head.

“How are we supposed to do any work if we can’t even sing?!” Sweetie Belle asked waving her hooves around. “It’s like she doesn’t want us there!”

“Well, it is kind of a-” Apple Bloom started to say.

“Girls! There you are!” Rarity interrupted.

“Oh, hi Rarity...” The three said in a disappointed unison.

“What’s wrong, girls?” Rarity asked, frowning. “Great. Now she’s even depressed these three.”

“H.B. sorta agreed that we could come to her house...” Scootaloo started.

“Well, that’s good! Maybe then-” Rarity stopped as Apple Bloom put her hoof up. “But there are some rules we have ta follow while we’re there...”

“I hate to say this, girls, but every house has its own rules that you must follow.” Rarity explained. “Though, what rules did she put in place?”

“While at her house... There’s no, ‘unnecessary stunts,’” Scootaloo started.

“No changes or alterations ta her plans,” Apple Bloom said frowning.

“And no singing!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle.

“Those are some rather strict, if not vague restrictions to put in place,” Rarity replied, frowning at Heartbreak as she looked through the different colour swatches on display. She looked like she was having trouble figuring out what colours to use. She shrugged and then slowly wandered into another aisle muttering to herself about something.

“Ah get the, ‘no stunts,’ rule there, Scootaloo. Applejack told me about the ol’Miller’s house an’ how it looks like it’s fallin’ apart,” Apple Bloom said watching the tan mare wander aimlessly about the hardware store. “But, ‘no changes to ma designs’? Ah don’t think she knows anythin’ about fixin’ up houses! We Apples know more than enough ta help!”

“Then there’s, ‘no singing!’” Sweetie Belle squeaked out. “How are we going to get a job like fixing a house done if we’re not allowed to sing!?”

Scootaloo raised her hoof to the side while looking at Rarity. “If you ask me? This whole thing sounds like it’s going to be one big boring dud... We should try earning our cutie marks in something else and leave your sister to handle Heartbreak on her own...”

Rarity jumped at the little filly’s words. “You’re losing them, Rarity! Think, think, think! You’ve got to get them interested again! If not for H.B’s sake, for yours!” Just then, a wonderful, beautiful and almost horrible idea blossomed in Rarity’s mind.

“Girls... Perhaps H.B. doesn’t want you to do these things because she doesn’t feel confident in your abilities...” Rarity said with a cunning smirk on her face.

“Not confident in our abilities?” Scootaloo asked.

“Sweetie Belle, What’s yer sis talkin’ about there?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah! What do you mean by that, Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Well, she’s from Minneighsota, from what I understand, the winters there are terribly cold and it’s a much harsher climate,” Rarity put on her best poker face. “She might feel that you’re... Oh how should I put this? Softer than the colts and fillies she’s accustomed to?”

“I never thought about it like that before,” Scootaloo said tapping her chin. “Maybe that’s why she’s always calling you a, ‘marshmallow!’”

Rarity blinked and then laughed. “Maybe it is! But maybe she feels that you three aren’t well equipped enough to handle helping fix up a house.”

“Ha! We three are more than capable of fixin’ up a house!” Apple Bloom said pulling Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle in for a hug.

“Well, I know that, and you three know that, but H.B. might not know that,” Rarity said hinting at something.

“Maybe we should show her!” Scootaloo replied excitedly.

“An just how are we going to do that?” Apple Bloom asked. “We’re not allowed ta do anythin’ we’d normally be able ta do at her house!”

“Oh! Maybe we could sing about how we could help fix her house up!” Sweetie Belle said bouncing up.

“Wait, what?” Scootaloo looked at her friend questioningly. “How is singing about it going to get her to see how we can help? And didn’t she say, ‘no singing?’”

“That is true,” Rarity bent her head down and smiled at the three little fillies. “But she said, ‘no singing while at my house,’ and we currently aren’t at her house now are we?”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle blinked and smiled before giving Scootaloo an evil grin.

“What?” Scootaloo realized what the look was suggesting. “Really?” The two fillies persisted in their looks. “Ugh... fffine...”

==============================================================

Geez, who would have thought that I could get this lost in a hardware store? Or that a hardware store run by ponies would have so many varieties of things!

There’s a dozen different paints, oil based paints, normal paints... magical colour changing paints? I eye the price tags... Essh, ninety bits per gallon. At least that’s what I think is a gallon. They have the measurement of, ‘bucket.’ on the can. I would look at the different tools, brushes and other things, but I would much rather wait for the construction crew come tomorrow. Note to self: hire construction crew.

“So much stuff... So little time... At least I have a good idea of what I can find here. Gah, why am I feeling a bit... twitchy?” I roll my eyes at myself. “You know why you are feeling this way. You just practically shut the Crusaders down from doing what they do best.” I push myself past this wall of paint and move into the next isle. There’s more hardware here. “Don’t tell them what their special talents are or you’ll ruin the magic?! There is just something fishy about that... Then again, what the fet do I know about magic... Maybe I should just apologize and explain my reasons. Yes, that would be the reasonable thi-”

Just then I look up and see the three of them at the end of the isle. Each of them has something different in their mouths and they’re looking at me with a rather... unsettling smile on their faces.

=

=============================================================

“Uhm... Hi... girls...” Heartbreak said stepping back. “What are you doing?”

Apple Bloom spit the hammer in her mouth out. “Well, we figured out why ya don’t want us doin’ too much around yer house.”

Heartbreak blinked in confusion as the three little fillies started to walk towards her. “Heh, uhm what makes you think that I don’t-”

“Cut the small talk!” Scootaloo shouted pointing hoof at the mare. “You don’t think we have what it takes to help fix your house up!”

Heartbreak’s face started to grow with even more concern “Uhm, what are you-”

“Yeah! But we’re going to show you that we do! After all!” Sweetie Belle called out. Just then Scootaloo took out a harmonica and blew through it and the lights in the store suddenly dimming before three spotlights targeted the little fillies.

“Weeee have our shovels and pails!” Sweetie Belle started to sing.

“Weeee have our hammers and nails!” Apple Bloom joined in.

“Oh.. fet no... not.. Barber Shop...” Heartbreak’s eye started to twitch. “Uhm girls-”

“To repair this house up, we’ll do whatever it will take!” Scootaloo chimed in looking determined.

“Because home is where the heart is, so we’ll fix it for Heartbreaaaaaaak!” The three sang together.

Heartbreak started to open her mouth but found that she was nearly blinded by the bright light of a spotlight hitting her. “GAH!” She quickly turned only to find herself face to face with the three fillies again.

Scootaloo zipped over to one of the outdoor furniture displays. “We could always add a patio so she could tan her flanks!”

“But ah just don’t think that’s gonna earn her thanks,” Apple Bloom said, watching the retreating Heartbreak.

“Maybe we can add a small pond, pool or a backyard lake!” Chimed Sweetie Belle.

“That might be impressive, but ah doubt that has what it will take...,” Apple Bloom fluttered her eyes at Heartbreak. “How about some input ta help us out?”

Heartbreak said nothing but her left eye began to twitch. Only the sound of a cricket could be heard as she slowly kept backing away in hopes of getting to the next isle.

Scootaloo appeared between two paint cans and looked at Heartbreak, the gears in her mind starting to turn. “Boy, that one there, sure is stout!”

“Maybe she thinks we’re coming off phoney?” Sweetie Belle suddenly jumped out of a shelf higher than Scootaloo. “So some observation it might take-”

Apple Bloom joined her friends standing at the top shelf and the three of them came back into harmony.

“Into the likes and spites of this stubborn pony, Heartbreak!”

“Girls... I really wish you would-” Heartbreak squeaked before the three of them collected at her hooves to hear what she was about to say.

“Yes?” They asked in unison.

“Gah!” Heartbreak jumped up and dashed past the service counter.

Sweetie Belle looked confused as she and her friends took off after her. “It seems so silly-”

“-for this strange filly-” Apple Bloom rhymed taking on a full trot.

“-to try to run and try to hide!” Scootaloo dawned on her helmet jumped on her scooter. Once she had caught up with her friends, she pulled them aboard.

The three fillies targeted Heartbreak and made an attempt to catch up with her. “Doesn’t she know that it only makes us more curious to see what she keeps locked away in siiiiiiiide!”

“Girls!” Heartbreak gasped.

“Yes?!” The three asked, triangulating on Heartbreak at the end of another isle. As Rarity watched she giggled a bit.

Heartbreak snorted and glared at her. “This was your doing...” She mouthed.

Rarity made a mock posture and acted like she didn’t have any idea what Heartbreak was talking about.

Heartbreak ducked behind a tool display and peered over the edge. “Hopefully I’ve lost-”

Sweetie Belle suddenly appeared next to Heartbreak leaning on a large hammer. “What we learned is that she’s gruff and surly!”

Scootaloo appeared on the other side of Heartbreak leaning against a rather over-sized wrench. “Doesn’t like things she thinks girly!”

Apple Bloom hopped in front of Heartbreak clinging onto a jackhammer. “M-m-m-more a-a-a h-h-h-him t-t-than a-a-a her o-o-or s-s-so I-I-I’ve h-h-heard?”

“Apple Bloom, that’s just absurd!" Scootaloo glared at her friends while Heartbreak attempted for another quick exit stage left. “Where the hay did she even here that?”

Apple Bloom smirked and pointed out that their target was running off again. “Ah kinda promised to keep it under ma hat!”

Sweetie Belle jumped between her friends. “Girls, concentrate! Because we’re going to have to do whatever it will taaake!”

“Cause if home is where the heart is: then we better help fix it for Heartbreak!”

“Maybe we should make it more like a simple house, like the ones that we live in?” Sweetie Belle asked as the three of the three crusaders kept in hot pursuit after Heartbreak.

“Sweetie Belle, Ah think that might be just the win!” Apple Bloom said starting to catch up with Heartbreak.

“There can not be a single mistake!” Sweetie Belle lept right in front of Heartbreak causing her to jump back and race in the opposite direction.

“‘Cause it’s only the best for good old Heartbreaaaaaaak!”

Heartbreak found herself at a three way intersection inside the store. “How the fet are they so fa-”

“Now for furnishings!” Scootaloo flanked Heartbreak on her other side. “Our ideas for the kitchen have been put together with care!” She sang out pointing at the end of intersections. “While our ideas for the the living room are positioned right over there!”

"And we all agree that stony face could use some cheer," Sweetie Belle pointed down the aisle in front of them. “So our decorations to put in your large bedroom to clear away that sneer!”

Apple Bloom pulled out the blueprints to Heartbreak’s house. “We’ll work on that roof so that it’ll last long after yer gone!”

Scootaloo tapped on the blueprints. “But after that what are we going to do about the lawn?”

Heartbreak twitched and glared at the three fillies, the barrier that she was holding in place to keep her just from yelling at them could not hold any longer and finally cracked as she snagged the blueprints away from them!

“Girls!"

"It isn’t what you can or cannot do-” She began, snarling through her teeth as she stamped her hoof down.

“Or even what I may or may not think of you!

I know your persistence is your group quirk!

I’m just reluctant because you might get hurt!

But I know that you won’t listen, ‘cause here’s the thing!

You’ve already forgotten that one of the rules is not to sing!”

She snorted and looked at the three of them. Just then she heard Rarity’s giggle come from behind her. “What?” Suddenly she realization of what she had just done hit her. “AH-FET. LOCKS-

Sweetie Belle joined her friends without skipping a beat. “Let’s decorate the lawn with fancy rocks!”

“And add picnic tables with lacy, frilly flocks!” Apple Bloom shouted excitedly.

Heartbreak found herself backing into a wall and starting to put her hooves over her face. “L-let me know when-”

“Now ta pick the colours of the inside rooms!” Apple Bloom shouted. “To yer favorite favorite colour, girls get ready ta zoom!”

“I think the bedroom should be this stylish green!” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“With the living room being white, friendly and clean!” Apple Bloom suggested.

“The last one should be trusty sky blue!” Scootaloo leaned against a bucket that was distinctively the colour of Rainbow Dash’s fur.

“After all it’s a calming colour, through an through!” Apple Bloom cheered gathering the three buckets in her hooves and presenting them to Heartbreak.

“Girls, what we got somethin’ great here; make no mistaaaaaaake!”

The three fillies gathered in front of the tan mare who only momentarily raised her hoof off her face.

“And all for our good friend Heeeeeeeearrrrrrrt-Breaaaaaaaak! We’re gonna help rebuild a house for Heartbreak!”

Heartbreak groaned and waited. She lifted her hoof and looked around. “Are you three don-”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Construction and Inspection Crew! YAY!”

“GAH!” Heartbreak shouted before she was doubled over by the cheer. She rubbed the sides of her head while whimpering. “Ouch... my ears...”

==============================================================

You know. I have never been in the center of a storm before. And quite frankly? After dealing with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and especially Scootaloo singing quasi-barber shop in the hopes of getting me to let them help me rebuild my house?

I think a storm might be preferable.

I can feel parts of me shaking that I don’t think ought to be shaking! My ears are pinned down to nearly the sides of my head! My tail looks puffier than normal! My mane while a frequent mess looks like I’ve been through a wind tunnel!
Now the three of them are looking at me with big cute eyes while I have doubled over into a whole section of paintbrushes and other home improvement supplies.

“So can we help ya?” Apple Bloom asks, starting with her big cute eyes.

“Yeah! Between the three of us? We can totally make your new house look awesome!” Scootaloo interjects almost taking on the spitting image of a mini-Dash.

“And best of all, we won’t cost as much as a real contractor!” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“You do realize that might not be point in our favor, right?” Scootaloo asks.

“I want to spend time with my sister who I haven’t seen in two months,” Sweetie Belle says through her teeth at Scootaloo, her big dewy eyes still focused on me. “And if I don’t get to do that, I might get cranky.”

“Hey, now girls, play nice!” Apple Bloom says stepping in. “It’s up ta H.B. on whether or not we can help!” Thank you for acting like an adult here, Apple- “We can help ya can’t we?” She asks, joining in on the, ‘itty-bitty-filly-with-big-eyes’ committee.

Ugh, I feel so pinned, so trapped, so- “Ugh! I don’t know! I’m really exhausted! How about you three talk to me tomorrow!?”

“Ah suppose we could do that...” Apple Bloom replies.

Fuck... Where did this wave of fatigue come from? I didn’t do that much running... Did I? I push myself up. “Thank you,” I glare at Rarity, my face twitching. “Thank. You. Whitewash, for a lovely day. I think I’m going back to the library, if Twilight will let me, for the night.”

"You're going already? But, we just arrived!" Rarity looks at the clock on the wall. “And it’s only three-thirty! There’s still daylight out!”

“Well, due to this little romp around the store? I am exhausted and have decided to opt out for the rest of the day,” I so want to snark at her. Ugh! I’m so confuzzled and frazzled that I can barely think straight!

I am burning with the snark. I don’t care if she thinks that having me participate in a song will help me become a better pony. Which I’m sure is her overall intention here. I didn’t want nor need to be forced into singing some dumb song about fixing up my house. Like they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Or in this case, three little fillies who are off in their singing today. “So, Rarity. It’s been swell. But you have a pleasant day.” I remark seethingly as I walk out the door.

Author's Note

The art http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/sabertooth1980/NotTheSingingPleaseNo_zps13fc1e01.jpg

Special thanks to Samaru and Anti-Carrot for help with the song. This song has been in the wings for ages and it's finally great to get it out for everyone to see. There have been modifications as you can see Samaru.

Construction Work-ers

Chapter 37

Construction Work-ers

Heartbreak groaned, leaning against the library door. “Good fucking Gaia. Did they really have to sing?! Did we really have to run around the hardware store? And Rarity with her fucking snickering! If I didn’t know any better I’d swear that she was just encouraging the three of them.”

She knocked on the library door, but was left without an answer. “Twiiiiiilight!” Still no answer. “Ugh, Calm yourself, H.B. You know that ponies sing. You know they spontaneously burst into song. Sometimes good catchy songs, sometimes really, really, really horrible songs that are just forgettable. Dang it! Still no answer? Hmmm, maybe I can try out a, ‘Twilight Impersonation...” She cleared her throat, while pushing herself away from the door. “Spiiiiiiiiiiike!”

A few moments later, Spike answered the door, a look of confusion plastered on his face. “H.B! I almost thought you were Twilight!”

Heartbreak laughed a bit. “Thank you, Spike. I so needed to hear that.”

“Huh?” The little dragon asked scratching his head.

“Never mind, can I come in?” Heartbreak asked slumping a little.

“I don’t see why not... You do live here after all...” Spike replied moving to the side.

“Not any more I don’t...” Heartbreak replied walking past a further confused Spike.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked.

“To make a long story short? I have a house,” Heartbreak eyed Spike as he shut the door. “Whatever, ‘plan,’ Twilight, Rarity and Princess Luna had: worked. I got a house. Not the house that they wanted me to get. But still a house.” She paused and made a subtle motion to let Spike know she wanted her saddlebags taken off. “A house that needs massive repairs and touch ups... Which is why I’m coming here.”

“There was a plan?” Spike asked undoing the latch.

“Always out of the loop,” Heartbreak commented, her ears twitching towards her left side. “Yeah, the three of them had a dream conference and figured that the only way that I would take a house is if Princess Luna was the one offering it to me... In front of a large audience...” Suddenly her voice started to raise. “A plan that was awkward and not too well thought out due to the fact that: A) It was too drawn out! And B) TWILIGHT STOP HIDING I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!”

Twilight walked out from behind the staircase and giggled nervously. “Was it really that obvious?”

Heartbreak gave the purple unicorn a deadpanned look for a few moments before she finally spoke. “That you were hiding? Or that you created an overly complicated plot just so that I would accept taking a house...”

“So I take it that you’re upset with me then?” Twilight asked.

“Yes... and no,” As Heartbreak answered, she took a deep breath through her nose. “On the one side? You sent me away on a long trip with Rarity that just made no sense, made me uncomfortable and put me on the spot. All of which, drained me of my precious, precious energies. Although, the fact that the prior culminated in a private audience with Princess Luna? And compared to today’s events? I would say that those things are now minor annoyances...”

“So... You’re not mad at her?” Spike asked.

Heartbreak looked at Twilight in the eyes. “No, I am not currently mad at her. However...” Her eyes narrowed. “Let’s not do anything like that again in the future? I’m not some little foal meant to be lead around by the nose...”

“Duly noted,” Twilight looked a little worried. “But if you don’t mind me asking, what did happen today? You look just terrible.”

Heartbreak looked at herself in the mirror. What peered back was frazzled mess of tight curls and loose strands. “Fetting-A... Yeah, that. I’ll give you three hints as to what happened...”

“And the first two don’t count?” Spike added smirking.

“Actually no. They all count. They’re small, can be incredibly a-” Heartbreak stopped herself and looked as if she was biting her tongue. “Enthusiastic,” she said through her teeth. “And happen to not have their cutie marks!”

Twilight blinked and then looked at Spike before the answer dawned on them both. “Oooooooh, the Cutie Mark Crusaders...” they said in unison.

“Yes!” Heartbreak smacked her face. “Alright, I’m not going to whine about the whole of the situation, though there are some things in there that happened that I think you should know, before I explain that happy little...” She rolled her hoof fighting to find words. “Bucket of tangles, Twilight. One of which is the strange and sudden appearance of a bit account put in my name at the local Wells Cargo Bank that is ringing to the tune of over nine thousand bits.”

Twilight jumped and shook her head. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, came totally out of left field here,” Heartbreak started to walk to the kitchen. “But, you are now looking at one wealthy pony...” Her words trailed off into a grumble as she applied her hoof to her face.

Twilight looked at Spike and then back at Heartbreak. “There was some account, in your name, just waiting for you at the bank? And it’s over nine thousand bits? Shouldn’t you be happy about this?”

Heartbreak nuzzled the refrigerator open and laughed a bit. “Heh, over nine thousand...”

Spike blinked. “I don’t get it...”

“Don’t mind me, Spike. I’m just trying to amuse myself, though if you wouldn’t mind? Could you get me some juice, please?” She asked.

“Alright, but only because you said please,” Spike replied taking the picture of amber coloured apple juice from out of the refrigerator.

“Right, like I was saying. No, I am not happy about this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life? Even in Equestria there are always strings attached...” Heartbreak took a long drink off the glass being presented to her. “And then there was what happened at the hardware store...”

=======================================================================

This will most likely be the last time I lay in this bed. After I told Twilight about the bit account, I explained to her what happened with the girls. How they wanted to help me with fixing the house, how I was reluctant in anything that involved them putting themselves in danger, the stop at Sugar Cube and finally the event that took place at the hardware store. Staring into the dimmed room, I casually wonder if the place has an actual name.

I mean, I always thought that the library was just called, ‘The Library,’ until I got a copy of, ‘The Elements of Harmony,’ off Amazon and found out that it was called, ‘Golden Oaks Library.’ Man, I was so excited when that book came!

“Shame that it got some water damage... Not horrible water damage... but still...” I toss and turn a bit. Despite being tired, my body is telling me not to sleep: after all, there’s still daylight out! “Ugh, and Twilight’s response to, ‘the cute little fillies were singing and they tricked me into singing with them!’ was so predictable.”

“That’s just what ponies do, H.B!”

“Yeah, and I guess you missed the part about me getting chased around the hardware store. I’m just glad that I was able to cut that conversation short by telling her that I just wanted to go to bed. Hopefully, she’ll have contacted a construction company like I’ve asked her to do...” I turn once more and pull the blanket over me tighter. These ponies do too much for me.

Get me a house, get me a drink, open the door please, do this for me, do that for me. Fuck, I feel like an infant. Sure I can do some things for myself, but others? Totally useless. I can feel the pull of sleep tugging me into it’s embrace.

“Maybe with the new house, that will change...” I mutter to myself, growing drowsy. “After all, I can customize it... Hooks and levers and doors mounted on springs... Yeah... These will soon be a few of my favorite things...”

=======================================================================

Heartbreak sat tiredly at the breakfast table. She let out a wide yawn before proceeding to attempt to shake her mane straight. This only seemed to agitate the already frazzled mess of hair. Looking at the plate that was set before her she moaned and looked at Spike.

"Something wrong?" He asked, pouring a glass of apple juice.

Heartbreak rubbed her head. "No, just a slight headache most likely caused by dehydration. I can't believe you two let me sleep that long..." She looked over at the clock. "It's already getting close to noon."

"Hey, like I said before: We tried to get you up for dinner and you nearly snapped at me..." Spike replied.

"I did?" Heartbreak blinked in confusion.

"Yeah," Spike said popping a straw into Heartbreak's glass.

"I didn't say anything did I?" She asked.

"Not really, just muttering something about, 'singing,' before falling back to sleep." He replied. "I asked Twilight if I should get you up in an hour or so, but she told me that if you really needed the sleep, to let you sleep as long as possible."

"Gawds, I know that, 'singing to express your feelings,' is a thing here, Spike..." She took a long sip of her apple juice. "Mmm, but seriously, that just wiped me out."

"Maybe it wouldn't have wiped you out if you had not fought being a part of it, H.B." Twilight interjected cheerfully walking into the kitchen with a book floating in front of her.

Heartbreak sighed. "Twilight, I was being chased down by three little hyperactive fillies in a store full of sharp tools. There is a bit of panic on my side due to the fact that I didn't want myself nor them to get hurt."

“I remember when I was first swept up in a song,” Twilight said, with a sparkle of nostalgia in her eye. “It was quite the event.”

Spike looked at Twilight questioningly. “If I remember correctly, Celestia said that while your performance was spectacular, you missed the whole point of the song.”

Twilight giggled slightly looking embarrassed. “Look at it this way, H.B: Songs and music are a part of the magic of Equestria. A magic that everypony-” Spike coughed. “Uhm, every being who lives here is a part of. The fact that you were able to join in the song shows that magic can and will affect you.”

Heartbreak only responded by rolling her eyes. “Oh...joy. H.B: Killer of poison joke and poor singer of terrible songs. The only thing that this explains why all of you can do all this without preplanning or choreography.”

Twilight blinked. “‘Killer of poison joke?’” she repeated.

Heartbreak tossed her mane a bit and sighed. “Rarity must have not given you the newest update on, ‘Storm Watch H.B.’”

“Meaning?” Twilight asked tiling her head slightly.

“Meaning that yesterday, we ran into some poison joke,” Heartbreak raised a hoof. “Correction. I ran into some poison joke, nearly panicked and then watched as the poor plant turned black and crumbled under my hooves.” She sighed. “The good news? Unless the joke was, ‘make H.B’s mane messy?’ I haven’t seen any side effects. The bad news? I am going to have to watch myself around the stuff. Not that, ‘staying out of the Everfree Forest,’ is a hard thing to do.”

Twilight looked thoughtful. “Interesting... Do you think it could be an effect of the fae magic?”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Noooo, I was thinking it was because I’m surrounded by invisible winged monkeys that want to do my bidding but keep fuddling up my commands...”

Twilight blinked. “You aren’t being serious here are you?”

Heartbreak face hoofed. “Right, too early for sarcastic quips...”

“I’m sure you weren’t that terrible of a singer, H.B,” Spike said smiling. “Maybe if you really push yourself and practice, you could get good at it!”

“Spike, I was terrible at singing before I was a p-pony. I’m sure that I wasn’t gifted with the ability to sing just because I gained four hooves, a tail and pony ears,” Heartbreak sighed and stretched out. “And in a change of subject...not to be a needy nag, is it ok if I ask for some breakfast?” Twilight and Spike’s face suddenly turned to shock. “What?”

Twilight coughed and opened her mouth only to close it again.

Heartbreak sighed. “I know I’m not one to push the point of, ‘why don’t you just get it out already?’ But... while we are in the privacy of the library, explain why you two are giving me a look like I just skinned somep-p-pony’s pet?”

The horrified expressions on Twilight and Spikes’ face only worsened.

“Alright, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words here...”

Twilight shook her head from the vulgar images. “Right! You used a word that is akin to a derogatory word from where you’re from.”

Heartbreak blinked and facehoofed. “Oh, right. Nag.”

Both Spike and Twilight cringed as Heartbreak uttered the word again.

“Right. That word. I know that you were pretty... carefree in your use of expletives before...” Twilight bit her lower lip. Telling Heartbreak not to do something seemed to gain the chance of her almost doing that exact thing. “But you might want to watch your language just a little bit...”

The response was pretty standard. A sigh, followed by an eye roll. “Sure thing, Twilight. I’ll make sure that I attempt to curb my tongue. But! Now that that bit of pointless banter is out of the way? Could I get some pancakes, eggs and toast to go with my apple juice? Oh, and before I forget... Did you contact a construction company like I asked?”

Twilight gave the tan mare sitting at her table a bit of a look.

“Uhm... please?” Heartbreak added, her eyes fluttering slightly.

=======================================================================

As I walk through Ponyville, I’m not sure if I am comfortable with what Twilight told me or not.

If Equestria’s magic can get in me, it might be a sign that the Fae magic might not have a full hold on me. Or maybe it would have that effect on any creature that came here. Suddenly the frightening prospect of High School Musical being a real thing enters my head. I shudder as I pass a few on looking ponies.

Or it might mean that this world’s magic is, yet again, eroding at the individual that I was.

I roll my eyes and sigh. Of course, the truly depressing one had to come last! It wouldn’t be a day without Heartbreak if it didn’t!

Whatever, stop mulling on it, damn it. Didn’t we say that we would do less inner monologuing? The good news is that Twilight did indeed contact a group of contractors in the area. The bad news is that they are most likely there now: poking and prodding at my home. Making alterations to my designs without my permission.

Ugh!

I quicken my pace a little. Before I started going on my way back to my house? I picked up a few essentials. And by essentials I mean loose paper, some pencils, erasers and of course: Chocolate.

The chocolate is the heaviest thing I have in my load and I’m realizing that my back? Yeah, while it is almost, ‘designed,’ to carry things? I'm still not used to it. So note to self: maybe I should work on that.

In the mean time? I am nearly back, ‘home.’ Taking a rest next to the sign and take a deep breath. A mixture of trail dust, hot summer air, and... I sniff curiously.

“Wait... is that?” I sniff again and a small spike of panic hits me before I remember something. “Right! Mrs. Cake put my chocolate in plastic bags and in the pouch that doesn’t have my art supplies...” Whew, calm down. Chocolate is safe. Art is safe. Boy, glad one of us was thinking at the time.

After a little bit, I feel a second wind and continue walking down the grassy and unused road. Just then I can hear voices in the distance.

“Now see here! That’s no need to be rude about this!” Rarity’s voice shouts.

“Look Lady,” Replies a rather harsh accented male voice. “We’s got ourselves a call to be fixin’ up this place yesterday. And whiles I’m sures they don’t mean any harm, they are kinda getting in the way.”

“Still! That’s no reason to shout at them! They’re just little fillies after all,” Rarity replies.

“What my coworker is trying to say is that we’re terribly sorry for losing our tempers like that, Miss-”

“Rarity. You may call me, Miss, or Miss Rarity or even just Rarity will do.” Rarity replies as I get closer.

“Yes, Miss Rarity, It won’t happen again, but if you wouldn’t mind? Could you keep them out of harms way?”

“I suppose there is something we can do about the kitchen, do you know by chance if any of the appliances are working or not?” Rarity asks.

I nearly race up to the break in the trees and make my presence known. “Hi! Every! P-p-pony!” I gasp out. Rarity is standing before what looks like three construction worker ponies. Fuck, all three of them are stallions.

There’s a tan-ish thin one with a darker mane, a bulky grey one with a fluffy white mane and the last one has a yellow mane and a sort of golden coat. Really, what can I say? They look like generic background work horse ponies.

“H.B! Darling! It’s about time you’ve arrived!” Rarity says to me. She’s wearing a large sunhat. “These stallions are telling me that-”

“They’re the construction ponies that I asked Twilight for, yes,” I reply looking over my house. Good. They haven’t done any alterations. There is, however, a small trailer parked on the left side of my front yard.

“Oh, well,” Rarity replies. “I didn’t think that you were thinking that far ahead...”

I roll my eyes. Thanks Rarity. No. Calm down, actually talk to Rarity. “Yeah, I did. I want all of this to go as quickly and as smoothly as it possibly can. That way I can go to actually living in my house instead of looking at it from afar.”

“Well, in that case,” Rarity replies smiling a little bit. “I’ll leave you to handle these...” She pauses. “Gentlecolts. I want to see if your kitchen is in proper working order.”

I look at her with concern. Rarity wasn’t the type to do any cooking- “Really? Why? You weren’t ever the type to do any cooking...”

“What?! You must be misremembering, darling. I have done my fair share of cooking in the past. After all, I did help raise Sweetie Belle here!” Rarity pulls her sunglasses down. “But cooking? With the state of your kitchen? You must be joking. I could perhaps put together small snacking foods, some nice fingerling sandwiches, or a few lovely salads. But any real cooking?” She laughs. “Most certainly not! Though, I suppose I could try to think of some designs for your kitchen... That is if you don’t mind...”

I fight the urge to imagine and shudder at the thought of what a, ‘Kitchen by Rarity,’ would look. “It’s a kitchen, Rarity. I’ll just be happy that it has running water and functioning appliances.” I reply.

“Hmph! Even if you feel that way, never underestimate how a wonderfully designed kitchen can make you feel in the morning,” She replies walking towards my front door. “Sweetie Belle! Come along!”

“Oh! Rarity! I have some chocolate that I would like to put in a cool place! Seeing that you’re going in?” I open my saddlebag and pull up the plastic bag. I can feel her tug it away using her magic.

“Alright...” She sighs walking into my house with Sweetie Belle in tow.

Whew. That whole scene could have ended really poorly had I tried to start a fight. I am just going to keep calm and actually take that fucking advice that all the ponies around me keep telling me. I walk up to the three construction workers.

“Alright, now I heard something about the window in front needing replacement and I just wanted to say-” I begin.

“But ya said that we could help ya rebuild, HB!” Apple Bloom cries, tearfully interrupting me. Turning around I look down at the big-eyed whimpering little filly before me. And right next to her is a rather disappointed and grumpy looking Scootaloo. Crap. Not this again... I don’t want this sort of thing twice in the same week!

“No I didn’t. I said that you three could come to my house if you followed my rules,” I reply taking a deep breath. “What’s more, I said that we would talk about it today. However, while I don’t doubt that you three can fix up some superficial things, I seriously don’t think that you could do anything like wiring or plumbing.” I bend my head down and look at the of them in the eyes. “None of you are electricians, nor should you attempt to try and earn your cutie marks in said field. It’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous? Sounds like my kind of work!” Scootaloo exclaims. “Uhm, what does, ‘superficial,’ mean?”

“Uhm-”

“It means the unimportant stuff!” Apple Bloom interjects.

“Hey now!” Crap, they’re going to think that I want them to do bitch work.

“Unimportant stuff?” Scootaloo rolls her eyes. “Great, while these construction ponies are going to be fixing the major things, we’re stuck doing the little things? What if our special talents involve the major things!?”

“Some of the superficial things aren’t unimportant! A house does need a good coat of paint,” I try to explain.

“Pfffft, painting? I’d rather get other ponies to do that,” Scootaloo replies waving her hoof. “You have no idea how easy that can be! All you have to do is pretend to make painting look really fun!”

“Like that one time we all got Snips an’ Snails ta paint the new fence on ma farm?” Apple Bloom asks.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo exclaims.

Turning my head I see the construction worker ponies pointing up at my window. I can overhear them talking about how the window might have to come down due to the vine growing through it. Damn it! Why the fuck do all the ponies here keep wanting to change my house?! It’s my house!

“Look girls,” I rub my head in frustration. “Why don’t you go help Sweetie Belle and Rarity? I have some things I have to take care of...”

“Alright...” Apple Bloom replies disheartened. “Come on Scoots..”

I turn back around and look at the construction workers that are just standing there with blank stares on their faces. Alright, H.B. you can do this. Just have to assert yourself and not be a doormat. You are not a stuttershy.

=======================================================================

Heartbreak took a deep breath before looking at the three workers before her. “Hello, my name is Heartbreak, but I would rather be called, ‘H.B.’”

The tall thin stallion stepped forward and took a slight bow. “Hell-o, my name is Narrow Beam and this would be Bob Plumb,” He motioned to the golden stallion. “And Cast Form. It is a pleasure to meet you mis-”

“Don’t call me, ‘miss,’” Heartbreak narrowed her eyes. “Please call me, ‘H.B.’ Now, I heard some talk about replacing a window?”

“Yeah, with that vine growing through that window? It might crack and get glass everywhere,” Bob Plumb said turning to the house before rubbing his goatee.

“That might be, but we can’t do anything until we get the word from Slide Ruler, you know that...” Cast Form replied.

“I’m guessing that would be your boss,” Heartbreak sighed, rubbing her head. “Right, about the window-”

“Well, before we get to the window, we’re going to have to take care of those nasty looking plants,” Bob interrupted. “When we got here, there were two really big ones with at least two dozen smaller ones. We tried to get close but they started to get aggressive.”

Heartbreak’s face twitched. “You mean my snapdragons?”

“Is that what they’re called?” Cast Form asked.

“Yes, and-” Heartbreak began rubbing her head further.

“Speaking of things that have to go, there’s that large mound thing in the backyard. Not sure what it is, but we’re going to have to get somepony out here to take a look at it,” Bob interrupted peering towards the back.

“Actually-” Heartbreak raised a hoof attempting to reassert herself.

“Then there’s some of the lumber that needs replacing,” Narrow Beam interrupted. “Most of it is a wood called iron wood,” He said winking at Heartbreak.

Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed angrily at the stallion. “You don’t say...”

“Oh yes. It’s a really sturdy, hard wood that is... long lasting, if ya catch my drift...” Narrow Beam nickered.

Heartbreak face-hoofed and kept her hoof in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath. She dropped her hoof and glared at the three workers. “Fascinating, I’m sure. Look. I just want to get two things out in the open here. One, this is my house, I don’t want any alterations to it that aren’t without my permission. Two! The sculpture in back that looks like a brain coral? Leave it alone! That goes for the Snapdragons! If you have a problem with them? Let me take care of it! AND FINALLY...” She growled betwixt her teeth. “Finally, I don’t care how it’s done, the large heart-shaped window is to remain untouched or short of that preserved. Understand?”

The three stallions backed away. “Yeah! Eeesh! No need to get upset!” Narrow Beam said holding up his hooves. “Like we said, we aren’t doing anything until Slide tells us to.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Which means we’re free to do anything else, if you don’t mind me asking-”

“Fet. Locks. Actually, I do mind,” Heartbreak replied rolling her eyes and walking towards her door. “Excuse me, I have to talk to Rarity about something...”

Narrow Beam laughed with the other construction workers as Heartbreak walked into her house.

=======================================================================

Hello, fucking stereotypes. There’s the dopey one, the technical one and the Ash Pedreiro of the group. Fuck, I wonder how he kept himself from doing cat calls at this point.

Every part of me is feeling irritated. It took every ounce of my willpower not to threaten him with something sharp the moment he was dropping subtle, ‘wood,’ hints and waggling his eyebrows at me.

I hit my head against the wall. Fuck! Is every fucking stallion out there to hit on me?! Is this a normal thing here in Equestria!? Why the fuck can’t they be shy and quietly obsess over a little doll or Cheerilee like Big Mac does!?

Closing the broken door behind me I make my way to the kitchen. Applebloom and Scootaloo are seated at the table, while Sweetie Belle is practically glued to her sister at the kitchen sink.

“Darling! I have some good news!” Rarity turns a corner from the kitchen and looks up at me. “The stove, refrigerator and water are working in your kitchen. But the decor is still lacking. Ugh, the drapes in there look like they are at least twenty years out of date and-” She pauses while looking at me. “Is there something wrong, H.B?”

I roll my eyes and take a deep sigh. “No, I’m just fine, Rarity. Just fine. It’s just...” Fuck, I’ve told her how much I hate being hit on by stallions that it all seems redundant.

“Just what?” She asks me. Ugh, fine. Let’s bite the bullet here.

“When I was telling the construction workers out there that nothing was to be changed without my permission, they started talking over me,” I reply. “Then there’s the fact that I swear that one stallion named, ‘Narrow Beam,’ was hitting on me in a not-so-subtle manner.”

“Darling, I think you are a touch too paranoid about stallions seeking romantic advances with you,” Yup, Rarity doesn’t believe me. I feel a sickly drooping feeling about the construction crew that Twilight hired.

“That’s what I thought you would say,” I reply annoyed. Fuck, I have to wonder if this is what it’s like for women in the work place. Not that I needed to have these particular feelings. I treated female co-workers with the same respect that I did my male co-workers. I didn’t make unwanted advances or wolf-whistle at them or treat them any different than I would anyone else!

“However, I can understand if a few things are making you uncomfortable,” Rarity puts a hoof on my shoulder. “And if you are feeling that he is making unwanted advances, then we can talk to Slide Ruler. After all, I would like to give that pony a few pieces of my mind after they called my sister and her friends, ‘little brats!’”

I blink. “Why didn’t you go talk to Slide right afterwards?”

Rarity pushes up her sunglasses. “A lady does not give any colt, no matter how uncouth they are at least one chance to apologize. I suppose there are exceptions to the rule and -”

Suddenly a harsh crash and clattering comes from the kitchen and we both jump.

“WHAT,” I realize I am kind of shouting and lower my voice. “Was that?”

Rarity puts a hoof on her chin and tsks. “Well, it seems that some of the cupboards still had a few miscellaneous items in them. If I were to take a guess? That would be the girls ransacking them. Let me go check in on them, and then the two of us can have a little chat with Mr. Ruler so we can abade your fears about the manners of his construction crew.”

I stand there in uffish thought for a moment. “That... That was something a bit strange. Rarity is actually taking my side in this? I mean she doesn’t believe me completely, but she’s willing to meet me halfway.” I tap my chin. “Maybe she had some sort of epiphany in the middle of the night.”

Rarity’s head pokes out of the kitchen. “Darling, you might want to go ahead, I’ll be here for just a little bit cleaning up- Sweetie Belle! Leave that vegetable cleaver alone!”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help in there instead?” I ask peeking down the hallway.

“Oh no! It’s quite all right!” Rarity replies accompanied by the sound of clattering metal wears. “Scootaloo! Please get off the table!”

There’s one side of me that wants to go in there and see what’s going on. Just so I can watch. Then there’s the other part of me that says that I should run now before the calamity strikes. And of course there is a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny sliver of me that says that I should go in there to help her.

Just then I hear another harsh crash.

“Yeah, she can take care of that,” I mutter to myself, walking back towards the door. Alright; Maybe she’s right. Maybe I was reading that all out of context. Maybe I’m just being a little fussy and paranoid. Maybe-

“Boy, I wouldn’t mind her breaking my heart!”

That’s going to be the first thing I hear out of Narrow Beam’s mouth. No! Wait! Context! You might be taking this out of-

“Dun’t talk to me Narrow,” Cast Form replies.

“Pfff! Whatever, all I’m saying is that she’s one fine looking M-I-L-R!” Narrow Beam says whickering.

Author's Note

No art for this one. It was just too long running. I think there's a good amount of set up, and we're finally winding down to the end here folks!

Diplomatic Immunity

Chapter 38

Diplomatic Immunity

Cast Form rolled his eyes at his perverted co worker. “One of these days he’s going to get us all fired.” Quietly he walked away as Narrow Beam looked around the yard.

“Dang, her lawn looks like it needs some trimming,” He chuckled. “And I’m not talking about the grass..”

Heartbreak slowly walked up behind Narrow Beam and attempted to deepen her voice. “What other lawn do you mean?”

“Boy you are dense! The new mare, Heartbreak!” Narrow Beam said obliviously. “I’d like to trim that lawn!”

“Uuuuuh, what’s a, ‘m-i-l-r?’ She asked taking advantage of the the situation as Cast Form slowly backed away.

“Pffft, don’t you know anything?” Narrow turned to face Heartbreak. “It’s a, “Mare I’d Like to Rut-t-t-t-t!”

Heartbreak’s neck crained hard to the left as her gaze focused in on Narrow. “Mare... You’d... Like... To... Rut?” She asked, her mane starting to form tight curls.

Narrow Beam started to edge away. “Hey, there’s nothing meant by it, Ma’-”

“Don’t. Call. Me. Ma’am,” Heartbreak hissed as she stared the stallion down. “You will call me, H.B.”

“Heh, right! H.B!” Narrow Beam choked out.

“Now, very Narrow Beam,” Heartbreak stomped her hoof down. “I would like to make something very clear. You are here to repair my house, and only to repair my house! Not to make unwanted advances!” She exclaimed as she walked forward, causing Narrow to inch back. “Not to, ‘trim my lawn!’” She shouted causing Narrow to topple over in the grass. “Not to make suggestive commentary about, ‘wood!’” She shouted as her eyes flashed with white streaks. “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear!?”

Narrow Beam shuddered at the mare that stood before him. “Uhm... ya got something-” He pointed at his eyes.

“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?” Heartbreak screeched.

“Yes! Perfectly!” Narrow whimpered.

“Thank you!” Heartbreak snorted and tossed her mane slightly. “And if you persist in this behavior, I’ll- I’ll- I’ll- Gaaaah!” She stomped her hooves on the ground and turned sharply, her tail snapping Narrow Beam on the nose.

“Ouch! Geez lady, there’s no need to get upset!” Narrow said, dusting himself off. “If anything, a mare your age should take being a miller as a complement!”

Heartbreak’s eye twitched and her teeth ground down as her head turned back to face the stallion of her ire. “Compliment? Compliment? And a mare my age?!”

Narrow Beam pulled his hard hat off his head and held it over his chest while he dusted it off. “Yeah! It’s a compliment, I mean it means that yer still attractive!” He replied eying Heartbreak. “Yeah, you’re like what? Thirty something?”

“I’m twenty-two!” She quickly turned back around. “Really!? Is that how you’re about to defend your position? ‘It means that you’re still attractive?’” She said sitting upright and making air quotes while talking in a mocking tone. “No! It means that you view me as nothing more than a piece of eye candy at best and a glorified sex object at worst!”

Narrow Beam’s expression only was slightly phased. “And what’s wrong with that?” He asked in a confused tone.

“What’s wrong with-What’s wrong with-” Heartbreak nearly grabbed her head and nearly let out a harsh cry of frustration. “GAAH! That’s it! Rarity! Rarity! Get out here! I need you so that we can talk to this Slide Ruler pony!”

Narrow Beam jumped back. “Hey, hey, hey now! There’s no need to be like that, babe!”

Heartbreak glared at Narrow Beam, the light nearly making small etches of warped lines in her eyes. “Babe?”

“H.B! I said H.B!” Narrow protested as he attempted to back peddle.

“No, you said, ‘babe!’” Heartbreak said turning around.

“Uhhhhh,” Narrow Beam looked around for any sign of support. Just then, Cast Form and Bob Plumb came from the back. “Cast!” He said dashing up the great grey stallion. “You’ll vouch for me right? I said, H.B. and not, ‘babe.’ Right?” He asked, flashing a wide grin.

“Hey, keep us out of this, Narrow,” Cast Form said.

“Yeah. Unlike you, we’re here to do actual work,” Bob Plumb replied.

Narrow sighed and turned to Heartbreak. “Alright, I did say, ‘babe,’ and I’m sorry for it. No hard feelings though, eh?”

Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed and she turned her head in defiance. “I’m still going to have a talk with your supervisor. Your behavior is inexcusable. Rarity! RARITY!” She cried out.

“Pfft, well how do you like that? ” Narrow Beam turned to Cast Form and put a hoof to the side of his mouth.

“Darling, I’m almost-” Rarity began as her head popped out of the doorway.

“First the white one shuts me down and now this...” He muttered. “That’s cankernags for ya, am I right?” He said shrugging at Cast Form.

Heartbreak’s ears sharply swiveled back and her head followed suit. A seething look covered her face. “What did you just call me?” She asked, glaring at the stallion.

Narrow Beam smirked and made clicking noises with his mouth. “Hey, I’m just calling it as it is, Sweetheart. If you can’t take a complement-”

“Sweetie Belle! Enough playing in the kitchen! I need you here right here, Right now!” Rarity frowned. “A rather big problem has arisen.”

Narrow Beam smirked a little before realizing seeing that Rarity had come out of the house as well. “Gaaahh! Look, I didn’t mean anything by it! I was just talking out of a little anger is all!”

Heartbreak’s hoof shot down and small tight curls started to form in her mane. “Oh no, no, no. You’re not going to attempt to get out of this like you did with your, ‘I just meant it as a compliment,’ song and dance!”

“What did he mean as a compliment, H.B? I could barely hear what was going on with the kitchen ruckus,” Rarity inquired giving a cold harsh glare to Narrow Beam.

“Are you familiar with the term, ‘m.i.l.r,’ Rarity?” Heartbreak asked not taking her eyes off the stallion before her.

“A, ‘Miller?’ Only in passing,” Rarity replied walking up next to Heartbreak. “It is a term used only by the most vulgar of stallions to describe somepony that they would want to take advantage of.”

“Rarity, what’s a, ‘cankernag?’” Sweetie Belle asked innocently standing behind Narrow Beam.

“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity exclaimed in shock.

“Gah!” He quickly turned around. “You little-” Narrow paused and eyed the very irritated mares behind him. “-adorable precious thing! Heh! How did you get back there?”

The three fillies looked at brown coloured stallion, unimpressed.

“We came out the back door, duh. You don’t know what a cankernag is?” Scootaloo asked turning to Sweetie Belle.

Rarity jumped and her eyes widened further. “Scootaloo!”

“Shoot, even ah know what that is, Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom replied. “Ya know what a canker is right?”

“Yeah! A painful sore you can get on your hoof,” Sweetie Belle responded. “Oooooh,”

Heartbreak looked at Rarity. “So, seeing that this...gentlecolt... has expanded Sweetie Belle’s vocabulary, want to go talk to Slide Ruler?”

Narrow Beam put up his hooves. “Hooold up a second, sounds like to me that this here filly would have learned what a cankernag was with or without my influence. I mean with friends like that orange problem foal right there-”

Heartbreak’s eye twitched. “Ex-cuse me?” Her mane started to curl even tighter. “Are you bad mouthing Scootaloo?”

“Hey, I’m just saying-” Narrow started.

“You, ‘just say,’ a lot of things you-you-you fetting jerk!!” Heartbreak burst out, shaking her hooves. “You come to my house, insult how it looks, make passes at me, call me a, ‘cankernag,’ when I turn them down and to top it all off you are insulting my guest!? I have half a mind-”

Rarity grabbed Heartbreak and took her to the side. “Excuse us, I need to talk to her... You know: Mare things.”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity as she found her hooves dragging on the ground. “What is it, Rarity?!” She attempted to glare over the mass of purple mane.

Rarity ducked back and forth and maintained proper eyesight. “Darling, I hate to break this to you, but this isn’t acting very lady like!”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity while her mane curled tighter and the light in her eyes swirled. “I don’t think you get this Rarity, but I don’t really care about acting like a lady like you do!”

Rarity put her hooves on Heartbreak’s shoulder. “Fine! I understand that we both have different priorities! How about at least acting like a decent pony!?”

“How about he actsss like a decent pony?!” Heartbreak asked seethingly.

Rarity flinched and then took a deep breath. “Darling. He’s a cad, but calm down! Your mane is curling horribly!”

“Would you ssstop worrying about my appearance and-” Heartbreak began.

“H.B!” Rarity whispered sternly. “I think your mane curling could be a part of your other problem?”

“Pinkie’sss mane goesss flat when ssshe getsss sssad! Why do you-” Heartbreak started.

Rarity kept her hooves firmly on Heartbreak’s shoulders. “H.B. Pinkie isn’t a... Minneighsotain. Look I understand your frustration and anger with this stallion. I want to smack my hooves across his face and outright pummel him. But.” She ducked her head and reasserted eye contact with the mare in front of her. “But. There are better ways of handling this. And there are better solutions to this than outright-”

“Kicking his flank from here to Saddle-Arabia?” Heartbreak asked, her mane slightly uncurling.

“Yes,” Rarity took a deep breath. “Remember last month? Twilight told me that part of your letter to Celestia was about Applejack's cousin... what was his name... Crab Apple?”

“Dib,” Heartbreak corrected, her eyes softening. “He likes the name Dib.”

“Right, Dib,” Rarity replied in a calm voice. “Dib got really upset over something and you were able to calm him down. Twilight said that you said that as long as you keep a calm head about things-”

“Right... It’s just... He’s really upsetting me,” Heartbreak replied rubbing her face.

“So, we are going to go talk to Slide Ruler, the one who is in charge of these things about it,” Rarity fluttered her eyes cutely at Heartbreak. “Alright?”

Heartbreak took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Alright. Let’s go do that.”

Rarity smiled. “Whew! That was close! What in Equestria is with what just happened?! Is it some sort of strange reaction to the chaotic magic contained within her? I will have to tell Twilight about this and ask if it has happened before...”

=======================================================================

Ugh, I had such high hopes for today. And now I have a slight headache.

What the hell was Rarity talking about?! Hair curling? Something with my eyes? Ugh. Whatever.

“Holy crap, Rarity was right about something.” I think, walking with her in the direction of the trailer. “That was part of last month's lesson. Maintain a cool head.”

Rarity raps on the door of the small almost bread box shaped trailer lightly. “Girls, I would like you to stay out here and stay out of trouble, this will only take a little while I’m sure.”

There’s no answer to her knocks. She clears her throat and knocks again. Still no answer. Rolling my eyes, I take a swing at the door and bang it hard with my left hoof. “Hey! Slide Ruler!? We need to have a word with you!” Calm. Need to be calm.

Finally after a moment there is an answer.

“Huh?!” Comes a voice from within. It’s a stallion. Damn- NO! Come on! Not all stallions are like Narrow Beam and the others I’ve ran into! Just remain calm and try to keep your cool. Wait aren’t those two... Stop inner monologuing! “What is it!? Come in already!”

Rarity opens the door. “After you, H.B.”

I roll my eyes. “Thank you, Rarity.”

Walking into the trailer we are met with what I would think to be a normal office site. Well, with the exception of the floating papers. A unicorn with a yellowish coat and black mane sits at a desk looking at loads of paperwork that is going in and out of trays marked... Well, no shocker here. ‘In and out.’ He’s wearing a helmet that is modified for unicorns. There’s a small cover over the horn. It’s not a big detail, but it’s something I noticed. He doesn’t even look up as he continues to sign and look over more paperwork.

“Yeah! What do you want can’t you guys see I’m busy?!” He practically shouts.

“Hmph!” Rarity snorts. “There’s no need to shout!”

“What?!” He asks taking a drink of his, what I am assuming, coffee.

“I said-!” Rarity begins as I notice the small white cords coming off his ears.

No wonder he couldn’t hear all the yelling outside. I walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder. He looks up at me and does a double take.

“You aren’t on my construction crew!” He shouts. I grimace at the volume of his voice before putting a hoof under the cords and yanking. “Yowch! Hey! Watch it, those things are kind of pricy!”

As I return to the front of the desk, both Rarity and I look at each other out of the corner of our eyes. I think we’re both feeling the same thing. And it looks like he’s picking up on our annoyance.

“Uhm, hello,” He says still with a look of confusion on his face. “Uhm, who do I have the... pleasure to be speaking to?”

A prick of annoyance runs through me. This is most likely due to just having to deal with- Stop monologuing! I mentally swat it away.

“Well-” Rarity and I begin together. She looks at me, surprised. “Do you want to handle this, darling?” She asks.

“If you don’t mind, thanks. But feel free to jump in any time you like,” Rarity smiles a little about this. “Also, jinx, you owe me a soda.” The baffled look on her face is priceless. Right. Back to the matter before me.

“Hi. My name is Heartbreak, please call me, ‘H.B.’ And I happen to be the owner of this house that your trailer is parked at,” I explain.

Slide Rule claps his hooves and waggles them. “Right! I thought your appearance seemed familiar.” He flips through some paperwork. “Yeah, Twilight Sparkle contacted me yesterday around four o’clock. I’m really sorry but there’s been a lot of paperwork that I’ve had to go through. Spring and early summer are really busy for Hammer and Nail...”

“Hammer and-” I notice the small business cards with a golden hammer and nail logo on them. “Right, name of your business. Twilight forgot to tell me anything about it...”

“Right! Uhm, so, what can I help you ladies with?” He asks. Ugh! I know I shouldn’t make a big deal every time I hear, ‘ladies.’ But it keeps rubbing me the wrong way! NO! Calm down. Calm. Down. Deep breath!

“Right...I don’t want to beat around the bush about this,” I let out a low growl. “It’s about your construction crew...” I can practically see the peal of sweat coming off his forehead.

“Heh, uhm, what about them?” He asks nervously. I look at him in the eye. Alright, you can do this without losing your cool, H.B.

“Both Rarity and I are having an issue with one of your construction workers named, ‘Narrow Beam,’” I practically hiss as I say his name. His ears practically drop to either side of his head and he face hooves. I cross my arms. “I take it that this isn’t the first time he’s been an issue?”

“No, but before you ask? I can’t fire him either. He is the number one lumber specialist in the area and can spot any defect in wood, not to mention that it is a requirement that every construction -” Slide Ruler begins cobbling an excuse for this guy. Fuck, that’s right, guys tend to cover for one another don’t they? Well, as long as you are part of the, ‘group.’ I never had any guys, ‘cover,’ for me. Then again, I was never making passes at random girls.

“Now see here!” Rarity jumps in. “He might be an expert in his field, but that’s no excuse for his behavior! He referred to my little sister and her friends as brats!”

Slide Ruler shrugs. “If that’s the worst-”

“He also referred to us both as, ‘cankernags,’ when I told him that I didn’t like being referred to as a- How is it pronounced again, Rarity?” Seriously, how would you say that grouping of letters? “Miller?” Fuck, I just realized that my house is also named, ‘The Old Miller House.’ This place better not have been a brothel...

“Great...” Now Slide Ruler looks like he stepped in some dog shit. He facehooves and rubs the side of his face. He takes a deep breath. “Ladies... We can come to an arrangement, right?” He starts out.

I fight a twitch. “If by, ‘arrangement,’ you mean-”

Rarity puts a hoof on my shoulder. “Calm yourself, H.B...”

Slide Ruler looks at the both of us as if we’re aliens or something.

“Right, like I said, I have a load of paperwork to handle before I even think about letting the boys out there do any work.” A few papers flutter past his face. He’s not taking us serious.I take a deep breath. An involuntary snarl forms on my face, while Rarity’s eyes narrow at him. He holds his hooves up defensively and swallows hard. “I can’t trust Cast and Bob to police him all the time, so how about I cut you in on a deal, say whatever the initial cost is? Fifteen percent off.”

“This isn’t about pricing. This is about-” I want to say, ‘my feelings,’ here but it’s obvious that he isn’t too keen on caring about those. I kind of wish that I could share same apathy that he has right about now. “-the safety of three little fillies and myself out there. And how I am feeling uncomfortable with a member of your construction crew-”

“Uh-hu...” His eyes dart back to some of the paperwork. Fuck, how the fuck do I handle this?! I mean without throttling the lot of them and leaving their bodies in the nearby Everfree Forest!?

=======================================================================

Rarity watched as Heartbreak looked like she was fighting the urge to reach out and touch somepony.

“And not in the good way either. Her mane is starting to curl a little again. Well, at least she comes with a built in way to gauge her emotional state when she’s horribly irritated.” She glared at Slide Ruler. The stallions callus behavior was starting to irritate her as well! “We need to defuse this situation! Wait! I know!”

“Or we could press charges,” Rarity crossed her hooves and narrowed her eyes at the worker pony.

“We can?” Heartbreak asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes we can,” Rarity replied as Slide Ruler’s eyes darted up and went wide. “You are after all a foreign diplomat, exchange student, and guest in our fine country.”

Slide Ruler looked at Heartbreak questioningly before swallowing. “She is?”

“Perhaps you have heard of the recently rediscovered colony of, ‘Minneighsota?’” Rarity asked. Heartbreak eyed Rarity questioningly.

“Yes... Actually I have. But I just thought that was just some sort of rumor!” Slide Ruler said, astonishingly.

“I assure you, it’s no rumor. And H.B. here happens to be the diplomat to the ponies that are currently trapped in that location. But,” Rarity took a deep breath. “As a foreign diplomat; she is entitled to all the rights and privileges there within. One of those rights being covered in the Charter of the Fillydelphia Convention on page six, paragraph twelve, subsection A, dealing citizens engaging in unlawful pressuring of a foreign national to submit to any signatory nation’s cultural norms.” Heartbreak blinked and did a double take at Rarity. “Because you know, we can’t have representatives from Saddle Arabia complaining to Princess Celestia about being forced into participating in an uncouth Nightmare Night apple bobbing contest against their wills and wasting her precious time!”

Slide Ruler scratched his head. “I-I-I guess you can’t...”

“And I shouldn’t have to endure sexual harassment from a stallion that I have not shown any interest in,” Heartbreak said looking at her hoof.

“Which goes along with the sexual assault guideline that Mayor Mare has put into place last month after one too many unwanted advances...” Rarity said tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Heartbreak set her gaze back on “Look-”

“Twenty percent off!” Slide shouted, the sheets of paper he was holding falling out of the air.

Heartbreak chuckled. “All I want is-”

“Look, I can’t go above twenty-five percent! However, we can also do all the paperwork for the zoning and free siding!” Slide Ruler shouted his hooves rapping against the desk in a panic.

“That is a rather good deal, darling,” Rarity said looking over at Heartbreak who only frowned and kept her unwavering gaze on the stallion before her.

“Rarity,” She turned to her left. “Money isn’t the issue.”

“Twenty-five percent off, material and labor!!” Slide shouted desperately.

“Like I told Rarity! Money isn’t the issue!” Heartbreak shouted back slamming her left hoof on the table causing Slide to jump. “Right, see the house that is outside your window? It’s being funded by Princess Luna herself. She has given me an unnamed amount of money to renovate it so that I can live in it.”

“P-p-princess Luna?” He asked. “I’m not sure I believe that-”

“Rarity, can you get the deed to the house out of my saddle bags?”

“I would be delighted to,” Rarity replied smiling and pulling the papers out. The deed to the house floated out of Heartbreak’s saddlebags and in front of Slide Ruler’s face.

Heartbreak seemed to practically smile in delight as the poor unicorns’ expression finally showed the comprehension of the gravity of the situation that his employee had placed him into.

Rarity pulled the deed back and tucked it neatly back into Heartbreak’s saddlebags.

“B-b-b-but I-I-” He began before shaking his head and swallowing hard. He refocused on the mares in front of him. “Right. Starting over. Hi, I’m Slide Ruler and I am the desk-pony for Hammer and Nail. One of my employees that I am required to have on site because of various zoning laws is causing you a great deal of grief. Is there anything I can do short of firing him that can make this situation OK? Yes. However, it would cost you more due to the fact that it would require me to bring in another foremare. She’s really the only one that can-”

Heartbreak looked up at Slide Ruler with interest. “Wait, foremare as in an actual mare?”

“Yes, she’s really the only one that can keep this crew in line-” Slide Ruler began.

“Do it.” Heartbreak replied.

“Are you sure? It will be extra...” Slide Ruler watched as the pony in front of him nodded. “Alright, and if I hire this foremare to keep all my workers in line-”

“No charges will be pressed,” Heartbreak said calmly. “All I really want is for your crew to act professional.”

Slide Ruler melted into a puddle of near relief before a scroll floated in front of his face. “Right, I’ll contact her right away, lucky for-” he rolled his eyes and muttered “-all of us-” he looked up and smiled at the two ponies in front of him. “She lives in Ponyville.”

“Good to know. How long will it take for her to get here?” Heartbreak asked.

“About fifteen minutes, I would suggest that you two fine ladies go out and get something to eat. My foremare should be here by the time you get back,” Slide Ruler said smiling and resuming his paperwork.

Heartbreak frowned. “‘Fine la-”

“That sounds like a splendid idea!” Rarity interrupted putting a hoof over Heartbreak’s mouth. She turned and gave her a look. “It might do you some good to get something to eat.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever...” She muttered before getting up.

=======================================================================

As we leave that little uncomfortable scene back in the trailer, I am impressed that Rarity would go as far as to bullshit for me. As the door closes, I can see Narrow Beam’s eyes jump from around the corner of the trailer.

This whole ordeal has me in a bit of a tizzy and I’m not sure what to do from here. The situation has been resolved, but at the same time I’m left with this... feeling that I’m not sure how to describe. It’s like a mix of feelings. Some of them good, most of them bad, and all of them dealing with some level of annoyance. Like I said before, of the good feelings here, one of them is gratitude to marshmallow fluff.

“I can’t believe that he bought all that,” I mutter within Rarity’s hearing range.

Rarity looks confused as we walk towards where my bike is parked. The girls apparently are looking over my bike and Scootaloo is trying to attempt to mount it.

“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asks.

“There really isn’t a Fillydelphia Charter regarding everything you just said, right?” I blink and look at her. “We were just bluffing right?”

Rarity turns up her nose. “H.B! I’m surprised at you! With everything you know, you don’t know about the Charter of the Fillydelphia Convention?” I shake my head. “Well, I assure you that it is very real! My father was a rather important hoofball player back in his younger days and when his team had to go up against a rival griffon team? Well, it was instrumental in determining a fair and balanced game!”

I want to point out how ridiculous that whole explanation sounds. I want to rip it apart and go into the questions that it brings up. However, what the hell do I know? Everything I know I got from the show, the comics and books. Everything I know could be wrong. Up could be down and short could be long, and everything I thought was so important might not even matter.

But. This does raise a question that actually affects me at this point.

“So basically, I’ve gotten diplomatic immunity,” I roll my eyes and sigh. “Great...”

“You sound distraught about this, H.B.” She stops and looks at me in a deadpan manner that gives me the impression that she has the underlying thought of, ‘Can’t I do anything that will make you happy!?’ “Why?”

“I don’t want to go around solving my problems with, ‘Ooop! Can’t touch me! Diplomatic Immunity!’ How fetting sue is that?!” I reply rubbing my temples. “Plus, what the fet is going to stop me from abusing it!?” I cough. “Not that I would do anything like that...”

Rarity just keeps walking. “Because it would be rude and rather mean of you?”

“Uhm, yeah,” I reply.

“Would you like to draw the attention of Princess Celestia every time a stallion even glances your way, darling?” Rarity asks, continuing to walk.

Holy crap, Rarity seems on the ball today. I continue to walk with her. “Right. Good point. Oh Fet... Scootaloo! Get off my bike!”

“I wasn’t going to hurt it!” She exclaims frumping as she makes a dismount.

“Yeah, we were just looking at it,” Applebloom attempts to look innocent. Fucking-A... I need to find a way to make this whole, ‘little fillies are cute,’ thing to be less of a problem.

“It’s really... uhm... Pretty!” Sweetie Belle exclaims adding to the cute factor. “I really like... The heart!”

I take a deep breath. Thank you Sweetie Belle. You’ve given me point in which I can be a bit cynical. “I don’t.” I reply curtly before looking at Scootaloo. “I know you weren’t going to hurt it, Scootaloo. I just don’t want it hurting you.”

“It’s a bicycle, how’s it going to hurt me?” Scootaloo asks smacking the bike. It wobbles and looks like it almost like it’s going to fall on her. I quickly zip up to the bike to prevent it from falling and give her a miffed look. She chuckles at me and rubs the back of her head.

“Are you going to ride it this time, darling or are we walking?” Rarity asks with an air of ... something. Something that I’m not sure what it is but... Ugh, and we were getting along so well just five minutes ago! Grrr... Uhm... Happy thoughts?

“Rarity, like I told you yesterday; I’m not riding it until I get it repainted and get that pink plastic heart out of the hub,” I reply as neutrally as I possibly can.

“You could always have the heart painted black with a white crack going through it!” Scootaloo exclaims. “Just like your cutie-” She says her hoof encroaching bit too close to my flanks. Luckly, I jump away in time. She looks apologetic realizing her, ‘almost-mistake’. “Oh, right. Scars. Heh, I forgot.”

I take a deep breath. “Right, so where would you girls like to eat today?”

Author's Note

No art this time either. BUT There is going to be much art coming up. Happy New Year Folks!

Flawed Diamond Hearts

Chapter 39

Flawed Diamond Hearts

“Can we go anywhere we want to?” Scootaloo asked, tapping her chin as the five ponies made their way back to Ponyville.

“Anywhere that has decent food,” Heartbreak replied, rubbing her temples. “I don’t know about any of you, but I need some chocolate...”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I could go for a little light chocolate something as well...”

Heartbreak blinked. “Just a light chocolate something?”

“Well after something like that...” Rarity pondered, her mind calculating calories. “I suppose I could forego my normal diet this once.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “So what about it, girls?”

The three fillies looked up at Heartbreak with big eyes. “Could we go to the new malt shop?!”

“There’s a new malt shop?” she asked. “Doesn’t Sugar Cube sell malts and shakes too?”

“They do. However,” Rarity said off to the side. “The malt shop also has sandwiches and other non-sugary food stuffs. Unless you want hyperactive fillies again.”

“Right! Malt shop it is!” Heartbreak replied, remembering what happened the day before.

“Yaaay!” The three fillies shouted as they jetted by.

Rarity smiled, as her sister and her friends seemed completely unfazed by the crass and uncouth behavior of the construction workers earlier. "H.B., a word?"

Heartbreak looked like she was fighting the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. "I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?"

“What?” Rarity blinked and shook her head. "Oh, no, no, no. If anything it was I who did something wrong.” Heartbreak quirked an eyebrow. “I just thought that I would like to apologize for not believing you in regards to 'Narrow' Beam."

"Oh, uhm... don’t think anything of it Rarity,” she replied looking to her left. “It’s done and over with, and now it’s his boss’s problem.”

Rarity waved her hoof and gave an apologetic smile. “Still, I feel awful about the whole ordeal! No lady-” Heartbreak cleared her throat. “-I mean, nopony should ever have to deal with something like that.” She took a deep breath. “And I want to do something to make up for it.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Rarity,” Heartbreak replied, rolling her neck. Her face twisted momentarily as several cracks were produced. “I mean, I would do the same thing if our roles were reversed...”

“Be that as it may, I still would like to make you something,” Rarity fought the urge to comment on the horrible cracking noises.

“You know that I don’t do dresses-” Heartbreak began.

“Darling! We’ve been-” Rarity paused and rolled her hoof. “I’m not terribly sure what we’d call what we’ve been doing in the time that we’ve been together.”

“I think you would call it ‘being tutored,’ but fet if I know what we’d call it,” Heartbreak replied, rolling her eyes.

“‘Tutoring’ is as good a word as any, I suppose,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “But I am getting off topic. I’m a seamstress! I can make far more than just dresses!”

“Or blouses?” Heartbreak replied, watching the antics of the Crusaders in front of them.

“Hurry up, you slow pokes!” Scootaloo shouted, spinning on her scooter.

“Or blouses...” Rarity sighed, mentally counting her hoofsteps. “I could make a shirt, or some leggings, or a hat! You really seem to like those, or-”

“Pants,” Heartbreak said abruptly.

Rarity stopped and blinked in stunned confusion as Heartbreak kept walking. “Pants?”

“And few extra pairs of overwear would be a good idea too,” Heartbreak replied, nodding thoughtfully. “But yes. After what happened, I want a pair of pants.”

Rarity trotted quickly to catch up with the tan mare. “Pants?”

Heartbreak frowned. “Yes, Rarity. Simple, black pants.”

“S-simple black pants?” Rarity asked, looking confused once again.

“Please don’t make too much of deal about this, Rarity. Yes, simple black denim pants,” Heartbreak replied, rolling her eyes at the thought of explaining herself further. “No fancy designs, no embroidery, or differing colors. Just black, simple, loose-fitting pants.”

Rarity’s inner fashionista twitched and squirmed about as she heard the constraints she was put under. She swallowed hard and nodded.

“But, you don’t have to make me anything-”

“No, no, no! I want to!” Rarity replied, shaking her head. “Tell you what. If you take the girls to the malt shop, I’ll go back to my boutique and pick up some supplies! I did some poking upstairs, before the construction crew arrived, and found a quaint little sewing corner off of the master bedroom.”

“Huh. I guess if somep-pony is going to use it, it might as well be you, because like fet am I going to be using it. In fact, seeing as you are making these pants for me, if anything up there catches your eye? You can pretty much have it. Just remember to ask first,” Heartbreak said, eyeing Rarity.

“Hmmm?” Rarity asked, sizing up Heartbreak’s flank. “Oh, yes. Sorry, I was just trying to figure out a way for you to be able to put on said pants without the assistance of somepony else around.”

“I said-” Heartbreak started.

“Hey! Are ya two gonna keep gabbin’ back there?” Apple Bloom shouted.

“Yeah! I’d like to make it to the malt shop while we’re still young, already!” Scootaloo snarked.

Rarity frowned indignantly, but Heartbreak smirked at their commentary. “Never mind, I guess we should get our rumps in gear, lest the three of them starve to death.”

==================================================================

I really don’t like the feeling of not being understood.

When I was young, my dad told me that I would mutter or talk so low he couldn’t hear me. His common catch phrase was either ‘Stop muttering!’ or ‘Speak up!’ - among other unpleasantries.

My mother, on the other side of the fence, kept thinking I was using words wrong. I would say something with big words in the mix, and she thought I was just doing it to sound smart. Secretly, I thought she just didn’t want to improve her vocabulary. I’m sure the seeds of this little hatred of being unable to communicate my words, ideas, and feelings developed between the two of them. Ugh, I really have a lot of negative thoughts about my parents. I mean, dad did work in an industrial job. And mom wasn’t too bright sometimes.

I think that what got me in a snit about this is that I offered Rarity anything up in that damn sewing room and it was like she completely brushed it off. She’s meant to be teaching me about ‘generosity.’ I try to do something that I consider generous, and she gives me the brush off.

“Calm down, H.B. She was thinking about ways to help you by designing pants that you can put on and take off without help. That’s something, right?” Turning to my left, I realize I’ve spaced out and Rarity is asking me a question. Fuck...

“Are you sure you don’t want anything fancy, H.B. darling? Because if I could just add a belt or strap or the like, you could pull them up with your mouth!”

“Huh? Oh, right. I suppose that might work.” An idea passes through my head. “Or you could make loops that go around my ankles. I mean, I can use cider steins just fine. It’s just the hoof itself that doesn’t work.”

“Your hooves don’t work?” Sweetie Belle asks. “What do you mean?”

Fuck. How the hell could I forget that these three were with us? I mean, seriously, H.B.! Three loud fillies?! How could you have missed that?!

“She’s got what A.J. called ‘shaky-hoof!’” Apple Bloom explains.

Scootaloo stops and looks at me worriedly. “What’s ‘shaky-hoof?’”

“You know how most p-ponies can pick things up with their hooves and balance stuff on them?” Alright, let’s make this sound like an actual medical condition, H.B. The three of them nod their heads.

“You mean like this?” Scootaloo takes off her helmet and balances it on her hoof. Thanks for rubbing it my face, kid. I think I liked you more when you were on the show acting like this to others, rather than right up in my face, thank you very much.

“Yes. Exactly like that. My hooves don’t do that,” I reply, spying the malt shop sign coming into view. It looks like an outline of a mare in a poodle dress dancing with a stallion done up in a fifties motif. In the middle of this cutout is a malt shake. “Geez, they really seem to have gone all-out with this place.”

“Is it contagious?” Scootaloo asks, looking a bit more concerned.

“No, it’s not. It’s just something I was-” I cough as Rarity taps my shoulder. “-something I was born with.”

“Alright, we’ll part ways here, darling.” She peers over my shoulder. “Are you sure you can handle these three?” Crap, I forgot Rarity was leaving me alone with them.

“Uhm...” I begin. “Well...”

“I’ll only be gone for a few minutes, I promise!” Rarity says, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” I give a faux smile to the girls. “As long as we all behave, right?” The three of them pull the same stunt they did when Fluttershy said she could watch them, suddenly falling into line and giving big smiles. I swear I can see the halos appear over their heads.

“You can count on us to look after her, sis!” Sweetie Belle chimes in.

“Wait, what?” I turn to confront Rarity about Sweetie Belle’s implications, but she’s already out of speaking range, and the three of them are looking at me with hungry eyes.

“So, I guess we ought to get to... you know... ordering food and stuff...” I push the door in and then hold it open with my back hoof. I guess I could hold it open with my butt, or flank, or whatever. But then again I told them that I have scars there. It’s the little things they’ll notice if I’m not careful. “Sweetie Belle?”

“Hmm?”

“What did you mean by what you just said to your sister?” Great, I can see the setup for the joke now. Rarity is explaining to her sister that I need watching out for.

“Oh! She said that if she needed to go anywhere, we could take her place in being your retinue!” Sweetie Belle replies. Alright, that was unexpected. I’ve got to say at least she is really taking to the persona that we’ve set ourselves up with.
The four of us file into a table. Four months of moving in and out of seats and I think I’ve almost got the hang of this. But just to be sure, I let them go in first. Looking across from me as I sit down, I see Apple Bloom’s bright and curious looking face.

“Sooo...” Great, I feel awkward. The last time I was trusted to supervise someone young, I ended up getting yelled at for abandoning them with what A.J. considered to be untrustworthy characters. “What would you girls like to eat?”

==================================================================

“Hot dogs!” Scootaloo shouted, only briefly looking at the colorful menu.

“They got corn dogs too, Scoots! An’ everythin’ comes with heaps of fries!” Apple Bloom said, pointing out the pictures.

Sweetie Belle looked thoughtfully at her menu. “Rarity would most likely have a salad and a diet soda.”

Heartbreak quirked an eyebrow. “Well, good thing you aren’t Rarity, right?”

Sweetie Belle blinked. “Yeah, because I’m tempted to try the chili-cheese fries!”

“Ooo, now that’s new! Well, new for you,” Scootaloo said, smirking. “Though if you were really daring? You’d add extra fried onions!”

Heartbreak mmm’ed. “That actually does sounds pretty good...”

Sweetie Belle grimaced. “Are you kidding me? I’d be squeaking for three whole days! Rarity would be furious with me!”

“Why? You squeak all the time, Sweetie Belle,” Heartbreak interjected, as she blinked in confusion.

“What?! I do not!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

Heartbreak bit her lower lip, and her ears drooped. “I... I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. A filly your age is going to have a voice that goes up and down in pitch from time to time.”

The Crusaders looked at each other, and one by one, they started to snicker. First Scootaloo, then Apple Bloom, and finally Sweetie Belle joined just in time for the three to burst out into a merciless onslaught of laughter.

Heartbreak's face took a horrified expression, and she held up a hoof. Her mouth opened and closed, then she rolled her eyes and face-hoofed. “I just made an idiot of myself, didn’t I?”

“N-n-n-no!” Scootaloo replied between gasping laughter.

“It’s j-j-just!” Apple Bloom fought to spit out.

Sweetie Belle giggled and snickered. “Can you imagine how horrible it would be coming out that end?!”

Heartbreak grimaced, letting out a groan. “Are you three talking about what I think you are? Cause if so, I’m going to apologize and blame it on me being foreign.” The three paused briefly before bursting back into riotous laughter. She sighed, before an idea brought a smirk to her lips. “I‘m at the tail end of this joke, aren’t I?”

The three little fillies soon laughed themselves under the table.

“Oh! Ouch! My siiiiides!” Scootaloo whimpered as she smiled.

“Oh come on.” Heartbreak protested. “It wasn’t that funny.”

Sweetie Belle pulled herself up and crawled back into her seat next to the tan mare. “Rarity would never make such an off-color joke!”

Apple Bloom snirked and tried to gather her senses. “Neither would Applejack!”

“Face it girls, most of the adults wouldn’t make that joke,” Scootaloo said between a final gaff.

“What about Pinkie Pie? I think she’s made a joke about squeaking!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Uhm, just to be clear - and I know I am risking more laughter - we are talking about passing gas, right?” Heartbreak asked, clearing her throat. A mild after-chuckle came from the group.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo replied.

Just then the waitress came up to the table, dressed in a poodle skirt and smacking gum.

“So,” she asked between smacks of her gum, “what would you like to order?”

==================================================================

The four ponies smiled as the waitress returned with their orders.

“Here ya go. Three chocolate malts, a strawberry shake, three orders of fries, one chili-cheese fries, two hotdogs, and one burger. I got everything, right?” She paused and looked over the list. “Right?”

“Right,” Heartbreak replied, licking her lips at the chili-cheese fries placed before her.

“Well, if you need anything more, just call. You four happened to catch us just before the dinner rush, so things should be pretty quiet,” she said, smacking her gum and walking away from the table.

“Dig in, girls!” Heartbreak said, lowering her head to munch on the fries. “Oy!” she cried after the first bite.

Apple Bloom jumped. “Are ya alright there, Miss H.B.?”

Heartbreak put her tongue against the cold malt. “Ust ‘ot,” she replied awkwardly.

“Huh?” Scootaloo asked, between bites of her own fries.

“Please don’t call me ‘Miss,’ Apple Bloom. Just H.B. is fine.” Heartbreak pulled away. “I said that they were hot. Didn’t expect that.” She frowned, and blew over her plate before making another attempt. “At least we know that the food is fresh, eh?”

“You know it!” Scootaloo said, with a mouthful of fries.

Heartbreak cocked her head, staring at Sweetie Belle's burger as the filly ate. The little unicorn blinked and her eyes darted back and forth between burger and the mare. “Is there something wrong?” she asked.

“Uhm, no... I was just trying to figure out what a ‘burger’ is made of,” Heartbreak said coughing. “I’m foreign.”

“Ah think it’s mostly...” Apple Bloom scratched her head while chewing on a bit of her hot dog. “What’s it called... soy! Soy and mushroom, ah think. It all depends on the burger.”

“Oh,” Heartbreak replied, looking thoughtful.

“Why?” Scootaloo asked, picking up a wad of fries on her hoof before gobbling them down. “What are burgers made of where you’re from?” bits of fry were spat on the table as she spoke, and Heartbreak looked a little grossed out.

“I know I’m not Rarity,” Heartbreak began as she eyed the food particles, “but could you three not talk with your mouths full?”

Scootaloo glanced between the table and the mare next to her. She let out a nervous chuckle before taking a napkin and cleaning up her mess.

“Thank you,” Heartbreak eyed her fries and took a deep breath. “I’m not really big on ma-ma-anners-”

“Don’t you mean manners?’” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uhm, I have a slight... speech impediment,” Heartbreak replied, rolling her eyes and taking a large bite of her now cooled fries. “Mmm, these are awesome.”

“What’s it like where you’re from?” Scootaloo asked.

Heartbreak pulled her malt in front of her and started to lick it. “It’s not terribly interesting. Lots of ice and snow, really hot during the summer months.”

“Cousin Crab Apple-” Apple Bloom began.

“Dib,” Heartbreak corrected, licking some malt of her snout.

“Riiiight,” Apple Bloom continued. “He said that there were like strange monsters up there like the luuta - uhm... luta-”

“Lutefisk,” Heartbreak said, smiling a bit. “Yeah, we have some rather weird things, what with all the ice and snow.”

“I bet it makes for some awesome snow sports!” Scootaloo said excitedly. “Snowboarding and skiing are my favorite parts of winter!” She turned and looked at Heartbreak. “Did you do any of that?”

Heartbreak paused her eating, and once again wiped her mouth. “I’m not really the sporty kind of p-p-pony, Scootaloo.”

“Ya did at least play in the snow, right?” Apple Bloom asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah, I had lots of fun when I was younger,” Heartbreak took a large slurp of her malt. “Mmmm! This is like drinking a sundae!” And just then, her face scrunched up and she put her hooves on her forehead. “With the ice headache, to boot! Ouch!” She squeaked and covered her face. The girls giggled at Heartbreak’s momentary suffering. “Ooooouch...”

“Are you alright?” Sweetie Belle attempted to ask sympathetically.

“Yeah,” Heartbreak pressed on her temples for a moment, then shook her head. “But, of course I played in the snow. I’d make snow-” she paused and rubbed her temples again. “-ponies. And have snowball fights. It was harder for me because of my hoof condition, but there was this one time...” She smiled as her mind wandered down memory lane. “Right, see my sister was just laying in the snow-”

“You have a sister?” Sweetie Belle asked, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Uhm, yes. We didn’t get along too well. But my sister was just laying on her back in the snow-” Heartbreak continued.

“Sometimes me and Rarity don’t get along,” Sweetie Belle interrupted again.

Heartbreak chuckled. “Yeah... siblings are like that. But, so there she was-”

“What’s yer sister’s name?” Apple Bloom asked, tilting her head.

Heartbreak paused and bit her lower lip. “Mary Jane,” she finally said. “Right, so Mary Jane-”

“Mary Jane? That’s a weird name,” Scootaloo interrupted. Heartbreak glared a bit at the filly across the table. She gave an apologetic look. “Sorry, continue with your story.”

Heartbreak put her hooves out in front of her. “Thank you, right, so there she was just staring up at the snow. It was one of those quiet moments were the snow was just falling. There are like no pegasi up in the Great White of Minneighsota, so when the snow falls? It just falls. No direction or anything.”

“No pegasi?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah... Tribal stuff that happened a long time ago,” Heartbreak tapped her hoof on the table. “But anyway, I had made a snowball, something of a difficult task for me. But there she was just laying there. Her nose pointed upwards, her mane covering her eyes. I calculated what arc I would need to hit her face just right if I wanted to make it look like the snowball came out of no where.” She picked the salt and pepper shakers up with her mouth and set them in front of her. “So, I tossed it up right into the air, and boomph! Right in the kisser!” She let out a small bit of laughter followed by a listless sigh.

“Somethin’ wrong there, mi- er, Ah mean H.B.?” Apple Bloom asked.

Heartbreak coughed. “Nothing that you girls should worry about. Just wishing I got along better with my family members before I left is all.”

“Why did you leave?” Scootaloo asked taking another bite of her fries.

“Oh, hey,” Heartbreak said, coughing and looking at her empty chocolate malt glass. “I appear to be on empty. I’m going to go see if I can get another.”

Scootaloo’s ears drooped as Heartbreak scooted out of her seat and walked over to the counter. “Was it something I said?” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rubbed their necks awkwardly.

“Maybe?” Sweetie Belle said, avoiding eye contact.

Apple Bloom scratched the side of her face. “Ah think it was the whole talk about where she’s from, Scoots. A.J. said somethin’ about there not bein’ a way back? But ah’m not too sure.”

Scootaloo’s coughed nervously. “Yeah... I guess bringing all that might have been a touch-”

“Well, if it isn’t the Blank Flank Brigade!” Diamond Tiara said, walking up to the table. “What are you three doing here?” The three fillies groaned and rolled their eyes.

“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Apple Bloom protested. “An if ya have ta know, we’re eatin’ our lunch!”

“Yeah, what else would we be doing here?” Scootaloo remarked snidely.

“Where’s Silver Spoon?” Sweetie Belle asked, innocently. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at their friend as if to silently ask ‘why would you care?’ “What? I thought those two were inseparable!”

“Well, if you have to know, Silver Spoon is off with her family, managing the prestigious silverware company annual ‘meet and greet!’” Diamond Tiara tossed her mane with her hoof, and smirked. “Though I’m sure you three wouldn’t have any idea about that.”

“What are you doing here?” Scootaloo asked in a gruff manner that suggested that she wanted the snide little pain in her side to go take a flying leap.

“Well, if you three have to know, I did so well on Cheerilee's final test that Daddy decided to take me out to lunch.”

“Wasn’t Cheerilee’s final test three weeks ago?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking disinterested in what the prissy little filly had to say.

Diamond Tiara tsked. “Well, Daddy has been busy with his job! It's a lot of work being one of the richest ponies in this backwater town.”

“Hey now!” Apple Bloom began.

“And just who brought you three here anyway? I don’t see any of your sisters here, and I know for a fact that none of you could possibly afford all that food by yourselves!” Diamond said accusingly.

“If ya gotta know, even if it ain’t any of yer business, we happen to be here with that mare over there!” Apple Bloom retorted, angrily pointing out Heartbreak. Diamond Tiara grinned to see who would actually hang with the likes of these three.

“You’re actually spending time with her?” she asked, her grin disappearing and being replaced by a gag.

“Yeah, what about it?” Scootaloo asked frowning.

“Well, I guess that you three losers are just keeping up with your record!” Diamond Tiara sang.

“And what record is that?” Scootaloo asked gruffly.

Diamond Tiara tsked and gasped in a fake shock. “Why, the record amount of time spent in the presence of that kind of mare!” She said, eyeing Heartbreak over her shoulder. The three fillies expressions dropped almost in unison before their eyes rolled together.

“And just what kind of mare is she?” Scootaloo asked, her face starting to twitch.

“Well for starters, the weird kind!” Diamond Tiara gave shudder and pointed at her hoof. “You do realize that she has a hole in her hoof, right?”

“I also hear that she has impeccable timing, and very sharp hearing.” Diamond Tiara felt a dark shadow cover her as an irritated voice came from behind the little pink filly. Turning around, she found herself face to face with the mare she was just talking about. “Excuse me, I’d like to get back to my seat.”

Diamond Tiara blinked and stood dumbfounded in front of the mare. Heartbreak frowned, then proceeded to inspect the filly’s ears. “W-w-what are you doing?”

“Well, seeing as you weren’t moving, and it’s kinda hard for me to step over you so I can get back to my seat, I just wanted to make sure you heard me,” Heartbreak replied, taking a deep breath and tsking. Diamond Tiara’s confusion persisted.

“Huh?”

“I was checking if your ears were clean,” Heartbreak explained. “and since they are, I can only assume you did indeed hear me. So, you mind moving out of the way so I can, ya’know, get back to my seat? Please?”

The pink little filly scooted away, her eyes locked on Heartbreak in confusion and worry. The dumbfounded expression persisted as she watched the mare waggle her way awkwardly back into her seat.

After she was seated properly, Heartbreak realized that the little filly was still standing near the table. She turned and frowned at the intruder. “Can I help you with something?” She asked after a few moments of the filly’s slack-jawed silence. “Because, if you haven’t noticed, my guests and I are trying to have a pleasant meal. Your persistent presence is inhibiting that.”

Diamond Tiara shook her head from the confusion as she recognized the tone that she was being addressed in. “Ugh! Don’t you know who I am?!” she protested. Her face scrunched up and she glared at the four.

Heartbreak sighed and took a deep breath. She held up a hoof, opened and closed her mouth, and tapped her chin. “Hmmm... uhm... somep-p-pony that is interrupting our meal and causing our food to get cold?”

“No! I’m-” She began her brow furrowing further.

“Diamond Dazzle Tiara?” Heartbreak asked as she neutrally as she could before picking up a fry and munching on it. The little filly’s mouth dropped open again. “I overheard your father mention your name at the table he was sitting at,” she said, once again pointing out the table where Filthy Rich was seated. “Maybe you ought to go join him.”

“F-f-fine! Be that way! I don't need my perfect reputation tarnished, anyway!" she responded, turning her head indignantly.

“We didn’t ask ya ta be here anyway!” Apple Bloom said, slamming her hooves on the table.

Diamond Tiara turned and stuck her little tongue out at the group. “You’re just lucky that I even walked by your table!” she said in a huffy voice.

“Lucky doesn’t even describe it,” Scootaloo muttered. “If I had half a mind-”

“You’re lucky to even have that!"

“Now, girls, don’t be too hard on- it was Diamond Tiara, right? I didn’t quite get an answer when I asked,” Heartbreak asked. “But you shouldn’t be too hard on her. I mean, it’s not every day that you meet a pony whose special talent is-” she suddenly stopped mid sentence and peered at the youngster’s flank, while tilting her head in confusion. “-uhm... Jewelry?”

Diamond Tiara’s face scrunched again as she gasped. “No!”

Apple Bloom blinked. “Ya know... Ah remember when ya earned yer cutie mark.” She tapped her chin frowning. “But, ah can’t remember what it was fer...”

Scootaloo quirked an eye. “Yeah, now that you mention it, neither can I...” Sweetie Belle’s head tilted.

“I don’t think any of us actually bothered to ask, but...” She paused, grimacing at the very notion that the thought had never crossed her mind. “What is your special talent?”

Diamond Tiara started to eye her flank worriedly. “Uhm, well...”

“You’ll have to forgive me for asking. You see, where I’m from, cutie marks aren’t so -” Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed as she looked at the young filly and a small, sly grin made its way to her face. “-abstract. Being from a land of ice and snow, most often the talent pool involves such things. In fact, my mark is the most abstract that any p-p-pony up there has seen. But please, don’t be embarrassed.” She rested her chin on her hoof. “We won’t judge...”

The little pink filly began to panic, and felt as if she was surrounded by a long procession of very hungry-looking cats. Her hooves began to clatter backwards, and she had to take a deep breath to regain her composure.

“Hmph! If you weirdos can’t see how obvious, or even what, my special talent is,” she turned her nose up into the air and snorted, “then I don’t see any reason to tell you! Now, if you all will excuse me, I’m going to go have lunch with my father!” With that, she hmphed once again and turned around.

“There’s no need to get offended. After all, it was just a question. But, a little food for thought before you go...” Heartbreak’s words caused Diamond Tiara to pause for a moment. “Maybe you ought to be nicer to Apple Bloom and her friends. After all, if I know my Ponyville history, it was her family that was responsible for your current family fortune.”

The twitch that ran through the little filly’s body was visible, even though she had her back turned to the other four ponies. Quickly, she trotted off back to where her father was sitting and tugged on his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

“Not right now, Diamond. Daddy has to close this deal,” came his reply.

==================================================================

I took way more joy in that than I should have. Wait, didn’t I have that thought before? I grimace and glare over at where Diamond Tiara is sitting. Fuck, this is turning into a pattern of behavior - a pattern of behavior whose set pieces are growing stale.

Yet, there is a part of me that is glowing at the prospect of telling this character off like that, asking her the serious and pointed questions none of these ponies ever seemed to ask. Either the writers never thought about the reasons behind their actions, or they didn’t think it was something that should be covered in a show for little girls.

This was even more true after Faust left. For a while, characters became more like puppeted set pieces that were called upon when they were needed. When you needed a bitchy little filly who was the main antagonist for the C.M.C., Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were on the scene.

But these aren’t just characters from a show. I’ve already established with myself that they are real ponies with real lives and real feelings. The girls are now happily enjoying their meals, and seem to be relishing the same thoughts I had been.

“Wow! I have never seen her leave so fast before!” Scootaloo says, munching on her fries. For some reason, she stuck some of them in her malt.

“Yeah, ah almost feel bad fer her,” Apple Bloom muses, taking a long slurp of her drink. “Almost.”

Sweetie Belle gives me a questioning look. “Most of the adult ponies don’t believe us when we tell them about what happens with her.”

“Or they just tell us to ignore it and that ‘One day, if you keep showing her friendship, she’ll come around!’” Scootaloo continues putting up air quotes.

“Girls...” Fuck, now I’m feeling guilty. “Don’t be like me. I didn’t want to do that.”

“Oh, come on! She was practically asking for it!” Scootaloo replies, smirking. “You heard what she was saying about all of us!”

“Maybe, but did you ever ask yourselves why she acts like she does?” I ask, as the waitress sets my chocolate malt in front of me. “Thanks.”

“Not really,” Scootaloo replies disinterested.

“Yeah, I mean it’s pretty clear why she does,” Sweetie Belle replies, nibbling delicately on her fries. “Because she can get away with it.”

She grimaces, and I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure things are more complicated than that, girls.” I give the three of them a hard look.

“So, what color are ya gonna paint yer house there, H.B?” Apple Bloom asks.

They don't seem interested in what I'm actually saying. I sigh. Ah, to be young and have selective hearing again.

==================================================================

“I can’t believe you acted that way while I was gone,” Rarity said, frowning at Heartbreak.

Heartbreak groaned. “Look, I already explained the situation to you, Rarity. I don’t see any need to go into pointless exposition and redundancy. The little filly was harassing your sister and her friends. She was in my way when I wanted to get back in my seat. Then she continued to raise a fuss over me not treating her how she is normally treated. End of story.”

"No, this is most certainly not the end of the story!" Rarity protested, looking back to see her sister and friends pulling a cart filled with her sewing supplies. “Filthy Rich-”

“I do believe he prefers to be called ‘Mr. Rich,’” Heartbreak interjected.

“Yes. Mr. Rich is an important member of the Ponyville elite! When his daughter explains her side of the story to him-” Rarity began.

“He’ll have to come all the way out to where I live, actually talk to me about his daughter, and we can take care of things like adults. No big deal,” Heartbreak interrupted as they returned to her house. “I already told you I was feeling guilty over the schadenfreude I got from scolding a little filly.”

“What’s schattt-den-frade?” Scootaloo asked, finally catching up with the two mares.

“Something that only the most unsavory of ponies partake in,” Rarity shot at Heartbreak. “Schadenfreude is the pleasure garnered from the misfortune or pain of other ponies.”

“Diamond Tiara was practically askin’ fer it!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as she helped Sweetie Belle push the cart.

“Yeah! She called us ‘the Blank Flank Brigade!’ again!” Sweetie Belle protested, finally collapsing as she got the cart to the front porch.

Heartbreak sighed and rolled her eyes as she walked back towards her house. “Oh please, Rarity. You can’t tell me that not once have you indulged in seeing another p-p-pony getting their just desserts.” Just then, a booming, angry voice came from the Hammer and Nail construction trailer.

“Speaking of which...” Heartbreak found herself breaking into a full-fledged ear-to-ear smile. “That must be the foremare Slide Ruler was talking about.”

Rarity frowned at Heartbreak. “You know, karma can be a quite vengeful mistress...”

“Pfffft. I don’t believe in karma, Rarity,” Heartbreak said, her attention drifting back to the other mare. “And besides, what’s the harm in listening?”

The door suddenly slammed open. “And if I ever hear you doing that again? Ponies will have another reason to call you narrow!”

Heartbreak paused for a moment. “Wait a tic, why does that voice-”

“Hey! I know you!” The foremare’s voice cired, going from rage to joy almost instantly.

Heartbreak’s eye twitched. “Oh no...”

Before she could even react, Heartbreak found herself lifted clear off the ground and into a tight hug from behind.

“Do you remember me?” came the mare’s rather dopey voice. “It’s me, Brick House!”

Author's Note

Aaaand Finally a new Chapter! Right after watching a new, fun, and chaotic show! I would like to thank my editors in all of this. Particularly Shift. She has a knack for spotting my Comma-Shyness. And if none remember Brick House, refer back to the last book. She was the mare who was keeping guard at the HCL Hu-Mare Con.
Chapter Art! Hazzah!
http://orig04.deviantart.net/5fa5/f/2017/188/d/5/brickhousehug2_by_sabertooth1980-dbfh67f.jpg

Burning Curiosity

Chapter 40

Burning Curiosity.

I suddenly understood how every single cat I had ever picked up improperly as a child must have felt! An oppressive tightness forces the air out of my lungs. I looked down to see a pair of huge, brick-red hooves crushing my waist. I make an attempt to struggle, and my hat falls off.

“Air!” I squeak out. I am spun around, suddenly face-to-face with a version of Big Mac - if he were a mare, and had a muddy red mane.

“What did you say?” she asks, and before I can answer, she has me in another bear hug that causes my spine to emit a series of loud and painful cracks. I make another attempt at squirming free. I need air, dang it! Come on, let go!

“Ah think she said she can’t breathe there, Miss House,” Apple Bloom says from my left.

“Oops!” I feel myself jarred forward and a bit of a dizzy feeling washes over me while I try to regain my breath as the mammoth mare lets go of me, and then places me gently on the ground. Gasping, I twitch a little from the adrenaline running through my veins. “Sorry, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”

After a few deep gasps, I regain my composure. “You... don’t... say...” I cough a little. I remember when I used to give bear-hugs to others at the fur meets. I'd cracked more than one back in my time there. Seems that the karmic wheel wants to go into overdrive here.

Brick House gave an apologetic look and picked up my hat, before practically smooshing it atop my head. “Anyway, on behalf of Hammer and Nail, I would like to, uhm-” she pauses and looks like she’s trying to grasp for a word. She lifts up her hat and pulls out a slip of paper. “Form-a-lly, apologize for the-” she narrows her eyes at the paper.

“Miss.... Uh, miss, miss... Ah! Misconduct!” She nods her head in a goofy manner. “Yep! Misconduct! By our employ-” She frowns and in frustration crumbles up the paper. “I would just like to say that I’m really sorry that Narrow Beam was such a stupid jerk. I know Slide says that he needs to be on the team, but I just think we should replace him.”

“I-it’s alright,” I reply, readjusting my hat. “I just expected him to act more professionally than he did.”

“Yeah, but don’t you worry! He shouldn’t be bothering you at all anymore! I took care of him real good!” Brick nods at me and then leans forward with a hoof at the side of her mouth. “And just between me and you,” she whispers. “I don’t think he’s terribly bright, if you know what I mean!”

I blink at this... spectacle of a pony. I don’t know how to react to her. I mean, she’s so big! She’s almost like a mountain with legs! Alright, that’s an exaggeration but that explains why Lyra assigned her guard duty for the Hu-Mare convention.

“Heh, yeah,” I rub the back of my head at this awkward conversation. “He didn’t seem to take, ‘no’ for an answer.”

“No he didn’t!” Brick replied with a frown. “Some stallions are like that. Too thick for their own good. But I have yet to meet a stallion that doesn’t understand what these mean!” She held up her hooves, making mock boxing moves. One of which almost grazes my hat. I jump back and let out a surprised cry. “Oh! Did I almost hit you? I’m sorry... It’s hard to watch out for others sometimes.”

“I-I-I’m alright!” Fuuuck. I feel like I’m in that movie, ‘Rainman.’ Only I’m not sure how to hold up a conversation with this pony!

“Sooo,” Rarity’s voice chimes to my left. “Brick House was it? How did you and H.B. meet?”

Oh. Fuck.

“Oh! A friend of hers brought her to a small gathering last month,” Brick House replied, waggling her hoof dismissively. “I think his name was...” She scratches her head. “Crab Apple?” She asks me.

“Uhm, yeah,” I reply. “Some sort of weird club for obscure Equestrian Mythology or something like that. I was really only there because he was.”

Brick House shoulder bumps me. “It’s still nice to see new ponies and make new friends!” I rub my shoulder again. Fuck, if we keep this conversation going any longer, I’m going to be a piece of tenderized meat.

“Anyway...” I reply, scratching the side of my head. “It was really... Uhm, nice to see you again, B.H. But I kinda want to see what else is lurking around in my house. And you have to make sure things are running smoothly.”

Brick House’s ears droop a bit. “Ugh, yeah. Work, work, work.” She replies in a dopey voice.

I can’t help but snicker at the way she sounds. “I’m really glad that you addressed the issue that was happening here. I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

Her ears perk up and she smiles again. “Yeah! Totally! We should hang out sometime later!”

“When you’re not working,” I say turning and walking back to my door way.

“Yeah,” Brick replies distantly. “Hey! Narrow! Cast! Bob! Get your sorry flanks out here. Front and center! We have work to do!” A giddy little thrill goes through me as I keep my head hanging out just long enough to see the three stallions zip to attention.

“Well that was interesting,” Rarity comments to me as we start to walk up the stairs.

“Well fuck,” I thought as I sighed, I really didn’t want to have a conversation about what just happened. If anything happened. Well, I know what happened. It’s the same thing that would happen if two furries met out in the open. The awkward conversation of talking about what you do on the weekend without actually talking about it sort of conversation.

“How was that interesting?” I ask as we reach the top of the stairs, little fillies in tow.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you actually went out last month and made some friends?” Rarity asks in a whiny voice that I swear only a pony like her can pull off.

“For one, you never asked, so it never came up,” I reply as I looked into one of the rooms. Nope, this is the bathroom. I don’t want to put my saddle bags there. I pushed open another door and see what appears to be the master bedroom. It seems like a place where I would want to dump things off, but I wanted to look at that final room, still. Looking in, it appears to be a secondary bedroom. Fuck, how many rooms are on this floor? One door, two doors, three, four... five? Five rooms? I swear, the floor plans for this place look like they were thrown together by a drunk pony. “And finally, I wouldn’t call Brick House a, ‘fffriend.’ We’ve only met one time, and even then we barely spoke.” Right, going for that spare bedroom. Just ‘cause. “Well, twice if you count this time.”

“Well, it seems to me that you certainly left a lasting impression on her!” Rarity replies as I tug on the fabric straps of my saddle bag. Fuck, have I mentioned that I really miss having fingers?

“I think she’s more apt to leaving impressions on other ponies,” I reply, jokingly. “Both my shoulders hurt, and I can still feel that surprise hug she gave me. Anywho, how about we get to making those pants?” Hopefully, reminding her about the pants would derail her line of thinking, regarding Brick House and her connection to the Human Lover’s Club.

“Pants!” She replies with a sparkle in her eye. There we go. That’s what I want to see in Rarity. Less probing and more ...robe-ing? Ugh, that’s horrible. Whatever. I know what I mean. “Would you excuse me for a moment? I left all my fabrics and equipment downstairs!” She looks like she is about to rush off when she pauses. “You don’t mind too horribly if I use your sewing nook, do you?”

I chuckle. “I told you before, Rarity. I’m not going to be using it anytime soon, so somep-p-pony might as well.”

“I just thought I would be polite and ask, after all, I want to be respectful to your boundaries,” Rarity replies, her head halfway in the door.

I scratch at my ankle awkwardly. “Uhm, thanks. Yeah, you can use it if you want to.” I reply.

“Splendid!” She sings, heading back downstairs.

“Is there anythin’ we can do for ya, H.B.?” Applebloom asked from behind me, startling me as I turn around. “Are ya alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! It’s just that you were so quiet that I almost forgot you were here...” I take a deep breath and calm that surprise running through my veins. “I hate to say this girls, but right at this moment there isn’t anything that you three can do,” I watch their faces droop with disappointment. “At this moment! I mean, unless you want to start pulling sheets off the furniture and fold them up...”

“Oh yeah, cause that sounds like a whole barrel of fun,” Scootaloo remarks sarcastically.

“Maybe we could get our cutie marks in sheet fold-” Sweetie Belle’s enthusiastic tone takes a dive bomb as she realizes how terrible of an idea that sounds. “-ing...”

“Are you kidding me?” Scootaloo asks frowning.

“Yeah... I don’t know what I was thinking...” Sweetie Belle replies shaking her head.

Apple Bloom looks up at me with her big-overly-cute eyes. “There’s gotta be somethin’ that we can do fer ya, H.B!”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle joins in pleading.

“Something other than folding sheets!” Scootaloo gripes.

Fuuuuuck! They’re doing that big eyed thing again! I need something or someone to defuse the situation here! Come on-

“Excuse me?” Slide Ruler’s voice intoned, interrupting the cute attack. I turn to the stallion now standing in my doorway. “Could I have a moment of your time, Mis-” He autocorrects himself as a seething glare is shot is way. Seriously? How hard is it for these ponies to remember two letters? “I mean H.B., I was wondering if I could have a word with you about a few things that the inspector apparently seems to have missed.”

Inspector Number Nine, my branded-behind! What kind of inspector pony actually misses things?! Damn it, I’m monologuing again. “Excuse me, girls. He missed some things? What kind of things did he miss?”

Slide Ruler rubs the back of his head. “Well...” He fidgets, “I would rather show you them then just outright tell you about them.” His eyes hint at the three little fillies behind me. “One of them is kind of... F-R-A-G-I-L-E...” He spelt out, whispering. Finally, one of these ponies gets a fucking clue about something. A little fucking common sense.

“Can we come along with ya?” Apple Bloom asks.

Scootaloo pops up over her shoulder. “Yeah! Seeing whatever these fraaageeelie things that he’s talking about sounds like it could be a blast!” Fuuuuck, Scoots, you really have a way with words.

“It’s not frageelie! It’s fragile!” Sweetie Belle corrects.

My eyes dart back and forth. Damn it! Isn’t there any way to shake these three!? Mentally, I apply both my non-existent hands and hooves to my face. Who are you talking about here H.B.? Right. Redundant question is redundant. Just then, my saddlebag catches my eye and I come up with an idea. One that I hope will work.

“Maybe not this time girls,” Again, they start with the disappointed eyes. “I mean if there are breakable things in the house, I don’t want you getting hurt. Instead, here’s an idea.” I open the bags up and pull out some loose blank paper and pencils. “Maybe you three could do some drawings for me!”

“Ugh, that’s just your way of saying that you don’t want us around,” Scootaloo remarks bitterly. “And besides, drawing is boooring!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell almost do synchronized face hooves.

I can practically feel the growl leave my throat as I narrow my eyes at the orange little filly. “I do a lot of drawing, Scootaloo.”

Almost instantly I can see the backpedaling going on in her mind. “Well, I mean to say is that... It sounds, uhm... I just can’t think of anything to draw!” Calm. Down. Just calm down. It’s nothing to get upset over. In fact, it’s stupid to get upset over this. Act like the adult that you know you can be already!

“Well then, why didn’t you say so?” I ask another idea forming in my mind. “Oh! I know what you can draw. Remember the one time that you three went camping with Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash?” They all blink at me with wide eyed amazement.

“You heard about that?” Sweetie Belle asks me.

“Yes, uhm, Applejack told me about it!” Alright, yeah this might be using my knowledge of the show, but it’s in a positive manner! It’s positive metagaming! “Sounds like it was loads of fun. Its a shame I couldn’t have been there to enjoy it. Maybe you three could draw what was your favorite thing out of all that was.”

“I guess that could be fun,” Scootaloo says smiling, no doubt recalling the moment where her and Dash really bonded. Fuck, I can’t help but smile when I think about that... “I still want to know what’s in the basement though...”

“I’m sure it isn’t anything really interesting, Scootaloo. And if I think that it’s something worth looking at? I’ll come back up here and get you three,” Geez, H.B.! You realize how dangerous that could be?! Then again, they have short attention spans. By the time I get back, they might be engrossed in something else. “If not, then I’ll see if Rarity can whip us up some snacks. Deal?”

“Sounds good ta me!” Applebloom says taking one of the pencils and applying it to the paper.

“Me too!” Sweetie Belle exclaims.

Scootaloo shrugs and looks like she’s already busy drawing up one of the most famous scenes in all of the fandom: Rainbow Dash holding her up in mid-flight. Fuck, even the thought of that brings a feeling of sentimentality to mind... “Huh? Yeah, that sounds great, H.B.”

I turn around and walk to Slide Ruler. “Alright, I want to get Rarity, and then you can show me whatever the fet it is that’s so-” I turn and nip myself in the bud about over using my word in front of these three. Because there are several universal constants involving the young. One of them is that they will repeat anything you say. “-interesting about this house.”

==================================================================

“Rarity! Come on!” Heartbreak exclaimed from the middle of the staircase that led to the basement.

“Do you really expect me to go down there?” Rarity inquired from the top of the stairs. “It’s dark, musky, dusty, most likely covered in cobwebs, probably very filthy, and only Celestia knows what’s living down there! Honestly!”

“Rarity, you’ve been through the Everfree Forest, sulfur stained lava pits that dragons lived in and dirty gem mines that are the homes of the diamond dogs!” Heartbreak exclaimed. “There is nothing to be afraid of in my basement!”

“Says the pony who is walking backwards down her own staircase!” Rarity protested.

“Hey! I get vertigo if I look down stairs!” Heartbreak replied, whimpering. “Please, I don’t mean to whine. It’s just that... I’m not comfortable going down here all alone...”

“Darling, you’re not alone,” Rarity explained opening one eye and looking down. “After all, Slide Ruler is down there with you.”

“Yeah... I know...” Heartbreak muttered before giving Rarity large pleading eyes. “Please? I’m sure whatever he wants to show me will only take a second... and your keen eyes might be able to spot something dangerous that I might not be aware of... after we’ve looked at what he wants us to look at, you can go back to working on my pants, right?”

Rarity looked down at the terrified mare. “I’m not sure if she is faking that face or not. Or even if she's aware of how pitiful looks...” The unicorn’s heart softened a bit. “Come Rarity, she’s just had a hard time and wants reassurance that things are alright. It won’t take long and we’ll be back to sewing some pants in no time!”

“Oh, alright,” Rarity said starting down the stairs. “But If I see a snake, or a rat, or some living creature...”

Heartbreak kept backing down as Rarity walked towards her. “Thank you, Rarity.”

Slide Ruler stood in front of a door that was at the far back wall. “Alright, when I was doing a bit of inspection while you two were out, I nearly tripped on some wires out back. Following the wires-”

“Can you please just show me what it is you want to show me?” Heartbreak asked looking around. “No offense and not to curb your excitement, but I was hoping that I could actually sleep on one of the beds tonight.”

“H.B.!” Rarity exclaimed before she noticed one of the boxes shuffle slightly. “Then again, perhaps we should hurry this along.”

“Sorry, it’s just that finding old, weird, quirky things is something of a hobby of mine. I get bored with all the paperwork that I have to do for clients, so getting out and exploring the house is fun.” Slide Ruler coughed as he watched the mare’s expressions persist. “Right, well, like I was saying. I followed the wire to this wall and this is what I found!” Slide Ruler opened the door with a silvery telekinetic grasp revealing a room with long rows of shelves. On the shelves were rows and rows of odd boxes that seemed to be connected by cords.

Rarity blinked in confusion as she peered at what the shelves contained. “You brought us down here to look at some pony’s long lost collection of strange, grey boxes?”

“Uhm, no,” Slide Ruler said coughing. “These aren’t just grey boxes they’re-”

“Batteries,” Heartbreak said interrupting and looking over the room with a peaked interest.

“Batteries?” Rarity asked, making a face over a corroded white fuzzy spot on one of the battery terminals.

Heartbreak was looking pleasantly surprised. “Yeah. Direct current. Electrical power, you know right?”

“I’m terribly sorry, H.B. darling, but I fear I don’t know much about these things...” Rarity confessed.

“Right, it’s what powers most homes back in Minneighsota. Two metals are placed into an electrolytic solution, usually a weak acid or water. If connected, they cause an electric current to flow in the wires.” Heartbreak explained. Slide Ruler blinked and shook his head. “What? It’s basic chemistry. What I want to know is whether or not these are rechargeable.”

“Yes, these are actually a type of rechargeable battery!” Slide Ruler replied excitedly. “I mean, once you repair the corrosion that’s going on here, and fix some of the cables. That’s the real reason I wanted to bring you down here to show you. As it stands, these corrosive acids aren’t a terrible threat. Yet. If they spill on the floor however? They could damage the foundation, and cause problems in the nearby pipes. The damage isn’t extensive enough to just scrap this whole thing, though repairs won’t be cheap. ” He rubbed his chin. “Though... now that I think about it, I have been dying to experiment with these fancy carbosilicate batteries from the Crystal Empire. They last twice as long and are selling really cheap right now!”

“Like I said before. Money isn’t an issue,” Heartbreak replied looking thoughtful. “Wait, if there was a wire coming out of the house, does that mean that there is something charging these batteries?”

“Funny you should mention that!” Slide Ruler exclaimed walking past the two mares.

==================================================================

Well, Slide Ruler doesn’t seem to be all bad.

Granted that I am only cutting him slack because:

A) The issue with Narrow Beam had actually been taken care of. I made a complaint about something and one of the talking, magical equines didn’t just brush me off and tell me that I was being overly concerned about things.

B) It wasn’t him that was calling me a miller. He’s just a boss who happens to have an employee that needs to be gelded. With rocks.

And finally, some of these things that he has shown me are genuinely interesting. After the room of batteries, he showed me the windmill out back that was charging them. I guess the only reason that I missed seeing it was that I wasn’t looking up, not to mention all the foliage that was covering it up. The thing looked like it needed a few repairs and the vines needed to be cleared off it, but it’s in overall good shape.

Apparently the way he found it was wandering out back and cracking his head on the steel pole as he followed the wires back from the house. After a bit of uninteresting commentary about the windmill that left Rarity completely baffled, we headed back inside and went upstairs to what I am deemed the guest bedroom.

I peered into the bedroom where I had left the C.M.C. They were still there. Busily drawing their favorite scenes from Sleepless in Ponyville.

Well, for them it was ‘that day.’ I feel a small sense of pride in the back of my mind. I chuckle at what a stink Scootaloo raised over the idea of drawing. There’s a giddy little feeling that reminds me the times that Kylie would come to me with her little drawings. Over the years I was with my girlfriend, I had grown attached to her children. Jeff was a bit distant, but we could always find things to talk about. After all, we were both into games.

But Kylie was different...

Kylie was a sweet ball of sunshine tethered to a rainbow and wrapped in the most adorable little package. When I arrived, she almost seemed... starved for fatherly attention. I gave what I could, I would encourage her in her endeavors, even if her artwork looked like it was drawn by a nine year old, (which, no duh, it was), and keep telling her to try harder. The giddy moment is ruined as I am reminded of her face that night. That horribly, twisted, terribly happy face...

I shake my head from these thoughts. “Let’s not go there right now, brain. Maybe later. But you don’t need to have another breakdown. Particularly not in front of any of these ponies.”

This place is going to have so much for me to do. My guest bedroom is filled with a strange assortment of furniture and linens. There’s an old green couch that looks like it could be a comfortable sleeping area, if need be that is. There are an assortment of pictures that are covered with cobwebs, white sheets and dust.

“So!” Slide Ruler says rubbing his hooves together. “I’ve saved the best for last in all this!”

“I certainly hope it’s something special,” Rarity comments looking worriedly out the window. “I don’t mean to rush you, but, there are only so many hours in a day, and I don’t relish the idea of finishing H.B.’s pants after dark.”

“Oh, it is very special!” Slide Ruler replies walking over to the fireplace. He waves his hoof over it as if he was displaying some sort of wonderful prize on a t.v. game show.

“The fireplace?” Rarity asks. “I hate to say this, but-” She pauses and rolls her hoof around. “-what exactly is so special about this fireplace?”

“Other than it being on the second floor?” I interject. Rarity looks over at me. “What? It just seems like a really odd place for a fireplace. I mean, aren’t they in the basement? After all, heat rises and well...” Both ponies gazes are starting to make me uncomfortable. “Right, what is special about this fireplace?”

“Why, it’s an old emergency message service hearth! A Flankland Model, if I’m not mistaken,” Slide Ruler replies dusting off the framework and revealing the fine craftsmanship that was put into this device. “This here device is what earth ponies would use in case of a dire emergency. In case they needed help right away! It’s an old beaut’... but it looks like it needs some servicing and maybe a bit of upgrading.” He’s suddenly looking at me with a sparkling eyed expression that brings his smile from ear to ear.

I can feel my ears droop. “And let me guess, it won’t be cheap?”

“Oh please! A chance to tinker around with something like this?! I’d practically do it for free!” Geez, this guy needs to get out more often. Then again, who am I to talk?

“Sure, go for it. Just please don’t blow up the house...” I roll my eyes. All of this stuff is interesting, and I’m sure it’ll end up being useful, but I’m not feeling the same enthusiasm as he is over it all. Guess the after meal fatigue is finally setting in. “If you need us, we’ll be in the master bedroom.”

He doesn’t even hear us as we walk out of the room.

==================================================================

“Dang it,” Scootaloo said after she had finished the crude looking shapes that were meant to be her body.

“What is it?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking over at the drawing.

“Drawing is just a lot harder than I thought it would be! All these lines and shapes and things aren’t coming out like they should!” Scootaloo retorted, spitting her pencil out. “All these mistakes keep happening and my eraser is gone!”

“Here!” Applebloom said, tossing a grey lump of something to Scootaloo. “Try usin’ this!”

The orange filly picked it up and looked at it questioningly. It looked more like a lump of clay than anything else and after some pushing and prodding, seemed to act exactly like it too.

“What the fet is this?” She asked.

“What the what is what?” Sweetie Belle asked in confusion.

“This? What is this?” Scootaloo asked.

“It’s a word that H.B. uses when she's all frustrated about somethin’ there, Sweetie Belle.” Applebloom erased a bit from the scene where her and Applejack were hugging tightly. “An' that there is one of them really fancy erasers. A moldable one. Just rub it on the paper like ya would any other eraser!”

Scootaloo peered at the eraser skeptically before she applied it to the paper. “Like this- Oh hey!” She watched as the malleable grey blob erased some of the unwanted lines. “Wow, that’s pretty cool!” She exclaimed pushing and pulling the eraser in and out of shape.

“So...” Applebloom started still looking at her paper. “What ya all think about her?”

Scootaloo looked up from her drawing. “About H.B.?” Applebloom nodded. The young pegasus chewed thoughtfully on her pencil. “She’s alright, I guess. But she worries too much about us getting hurt. She really needs to learn to relax.”

“Maybe we can help her do that!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“And how the hay would ya suggest going about doing that there, Sweetie Belle?” Applebloom asked. “From what Ah heard? She’s wound tighter than one of Pepper Pocket’s watches. Least that’s what Applejack said.”

“Well, Rarity said she hates the spa,” Sweetie Belle said looking at her pencil growing dull.

“I can understand that,” Scootaloo remarked.

"Ah can’t,” Applebloom said raising an eyebrow. “Even Applejack goes ta the spa when there’s a big fancy thing goin’ on.”

“Anyway...” Sweetie Belle said thoughtfully. “I was thinking, if she doesn’t want to go to the spa, maybe we can bring the spa to her!”

“Huh, there’s an idea...” Applebloom replied. “Maybe after she’s gotten her house all set up, we can surprise her with that!”

“I’d still like to know how she really got her cutie mark,” Scootaloo remarked.

“What’cha mean there, Scoots? She told us how she did that already.” Applebloom replied raising her eyebrow in confusion.

“I...I’m not so sure I buy the whole, ‘I told a sad story and got a broken heart as my cutie mark,’ story,” Scootaloo rolled the pencil in her mouth. “I mean come on, think about it. Remember when all the other ponies told us about earning their cutie marks?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Applebloom asked.

“They nearly went on all day about how it all happened! I mean it was hard to get them to stop talking about it.” Scootaloo replied.

“Remember how Twilight was bouncing around going, ‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!’?” Sweetie Belle interjected.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “How could I forget that? But H.B. was practically squirming to get out of telling us how she got her cutie mark! There has to be an awesome story to go along with that broken heart, what with that really weird upside-down tree crack going through it.”

Applebloom paused in her drawing. “What’chu talkin’ about, Scoots?”

“You know what I mean,” Scootaloo replied trying to get another line just right. “We don’t see a mark like that everyday!”

“That’s not what ah meant,” Applebloom replied shaking her head. “I mean, about the crack. It don’t look like an upside-down tree. It looked more like a clean jagged line. Like a lightnin’ bolt!”

Scootaloo frowned. “No it didn’t. It was like if somepony took a tree, painted it white, turned it upside-down and cut off the roots!”

“Ah’m pretty sure that it was a jagged line like a lightnin’ bolt, Scootaloo,” Applebloom retorted.

“And I’m saying-” Scootaloo began angrily.

“Girls!” Sweetie Belle interrupted. “You’re both wrong!”

Applebloom and Scootaloo looked at each other. “Huh?”

“It’s more of a break with little pieces falling out of it!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“That’s totally not what it looks like!” Scootaloo exclaimed leaning forward towards Sweetie Belle.

“It is so!” Sweetie Belle countered.

“Is not!” Scootaloo bickered back.

“Girls!” Applebloom got up between her friends and pushed the two apart. “Arguin’ never solved any of our problems. Now, each of us thinks that the crack in H.B.’s mark looks different. How’s about we settle this by drawin’ out what we think the heart looks like, then we can find H.B. and compare drawin’s?”

“I guess we can do that...” Sweetie Belle said, her expression softening.

“Fine by me,” Scootaloo replied getting a clean sheet of paper. “But you two are going to look so silly when you both see that I was right.”

It didn’t take long for the three of them to produce their versions of what each thought the heart looked like.

“Alright,” Scootaloo said, holding hers up. “Here’s what I was talking about.”

“Which is totally different from what I saw when I looked at her mark...” Sweetie Belle said chewing on her pencil.

“Well, we are gonna’ compare them the real deal,” Applebloom looked around and then out the window. “Huh, ah don’t see her out there...”

“What do you mean?” Scootaloo asked joining Applebloom in window watching.

“Ah thought ah heard the three of them outside!” The little filly said in confusion.

“You mean you didn’t hear them come back inside? I think I heard Rarity saying something in H.B.’s bedroom like five or ten minutes ago!” Sweetie Belle explained.

“Well, ah’m ready as anypony ta figure out this little mystery,” Applebloom said waving a hoof at the other two.

“Me too,” Scootaloo replied. “And besides, maybe H.B. finally came up with something for us to do!”

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed jumping up. “Wait for me!”

==================================================================

“All done!” Rarity chimed floating her newest creation over to the snoozing pony. “H.B? Darling?” She used the pants to poke and prod Heartbreak.

“Ugh! Huh? What’s going on!? Where am...I?” Heartbreak blinked and swallowed hard. “Right, new house. I must have dozed off. I didn’t mean to, Rarity.” She apologized while yawning. “How long was I out?”

“Oh, only about twenty or so minutes,” She replied looking at the dusty clock to her left. She grimaced at it’s state and floated a rag over the body and face to clean it off. “You’re fortunate that I still remember your measurements.”

Heartbreak looked at the pants as they floated in Rarity’s lilac glow. She narrowed her eyes over the details, inspecting anything and everything. Every stitch, every line, the loops and lengths of the legs. Finally she blinked and shook her head.

“Is there something wrong?” Rarity asked uneasily. “Oh, please, please, please do like them.” She thought biting her lip.

“Bravo, Rarity,” Heartbreak replied, her head tilting in a bit of stunned wonder. “You... did exactly as I asked. There’s no secret little flourishes, no unnecessary embroidery, and I must say that the elastic waistband was a nice last minute idea...” She turned and gave the unicorn a look of approval. “Well done and thank you.”

Rarity found herself not quite knowing how to take the assessment of her newest creation. The blank black folds of denim were practically screaming at her to have something placed on them. A row of pink hearts, a few embroidered flowers, maybe even a starry night motiph!

‘Something! Anything!’ Her inner fashionista kept begging. “No, H.B. wanted plain. Nothing fancy. Just like the dress we made for Twilight. That worked out well, didn’t it? This will be just like that. And then maybe H.B. will finally like me! These aren’t for some fancy get together or dress or anything of the like. They are casual pants. Perhaps next time. Next time I can make her something with a bit more flare. Right now-” Rarity felt her magic aura being pulled on.

“So!” Heartbreak exclaimed smiling, a foreleg in one of the loops. “Shall I try these on to see if they are a good fit?”

“But of course!” Rarity practically squeed. All her hard work and efforts were finally starting to pay off. “And to think. Last week she was practically mocking me and we couldn’t see eye to eye. Gosh, that feels so far away. Almost like a year ago. Now? She is actually asking to try something on that I made! Well, something that isn’t overwear...” She thought as she lowered the pants to the ground.

Heartbreak stood over the pants and seemed to be assessing the best way to position herself about. “Let’s see... Rarity, is this the front or the back?”

Rarity tapped her chin. “I do believe that you are standing properly. All you need to do is put your back hoof in-”

“And then put my back hoof out?” Heartbreak said quirking an eyebrow. Rarity did a double take. “I know how to put pants on, Rarity. I was just-”

“No, it’s alright, I just wasn’t sure if that was a jest or not,” Rarity replied. “I must confess, sometimes it’s a tad difficult to tell.”

Heartbreak placed her back hooves into the legs of the pants. “Alright...”

“Do you need any help?”

==================================================================

As I lean on the sewing table next to me, I can’t help but notice that Rarity is extra excited? Attentive? Chummy? Enthusiastic? She’s one of those. I’m not sure if this should bother me or not. I mean, she was not too long ago chewing me out for my chewing out of Diamond Tiara.

“Nope! I should be good...” Fuck, stupid hoof. Get into the loop! Come on! “Ugh.. almost... come on... Ugh! ” A thought hits me. “But what do I do about my tail?” I ask out loud, looking behind me. The loop glows lilac for a moment and then I look up. I sigh. “So much for putting these on by myself.”

“It’s the first time putting them on, Darling. You’ll have plenty of time for practice once I have made any final adjustments,” Rarity replies with a soft smile. “And I should have made mention that the tail goes in before anything else.” I feel the loops being pulled tight, and something going over and around to the base of my... well, not really the base of my spine, seeing that I have a tail now. Whatever the place just where my tail comes off my body. She then proceeds to help put the loops back over my hooves.

Sighing, I give in a little here. I guess I have no choice but to take Rarity’s kindness and sorta-generous act at face value. It still would have been nice to have done this on the first try. “I guess you’re right.” Now that I have one hoof in one loop, the other is at least a bit easier. Alright, let’s stand up!

My back protests for a moment as I reach a bipedal stance. Come on back! It will only be for a moment! A one! A two! A three and tug up!

I feel the pants covering up my hind quarters hug my lower legs. I quickly pull my forelegs out of the loops before my back forces me back to all fours. Otherwise, this is going to be a lovely trip to ‘painful-face-in-the-floor-centralia’. With a clattering of hooves, I look back at my newly acquired attire.

“Well?” Rarity’s voice casts a line as she fishes out my overall feelings for the pants. I can’t blame her for that. She’s put a good deal of effort into making them look plain and simple.

“Hmmm, they could be a tad looser around the legs but-” I pause and try walking in them. They don’t seem to be rubbing up against anything I don’t want them to be, (most likely due to the tail,) and they give me a small thrill of nostalgia. “They look about right. And hey! Pockets!” Holy shit! I didn’t notice those before! Rarity smiles at me, most likely pleased that I actually like this gift. We just might-

Suddenly I feel something. It feels like... I’m leaning against a space heater? A small panic hits me as I realize that this sensation is centered right over my flanks.

==================================================================

Heartbreak’s eyes started to grow wide and she bit down on her lower lip as her gaze was locked on her flank. A stifled squeaking was attempting to make a barred escape as tears started to form in the mare’s eyes.

Rarity cocked her head in worry. “Is there something wrong, H.B-” She began to ask, but her well founded compassion turned to horror as the pants she had just made started to make a sizzling sound.

“Get them off! Get them off! Get them off! H-h-h-hot! HOT!” Heartbreak’s high pitched voice screeched out. Within mere moments, the fabric covering Heartbreak’s flanks began to turn a faint red colour before it smoldered, turning an ash grey as it fell in small pieces and wafted to the ground. What remained was a heart-shaped hole in the newly sewn pants whose still glowing edges were framing the black broken heart that was her mark.

After a few moments of wide-eyed disbelief, Rarity’s senses returned to her and words started to tumble from out of her mouth. “D-darling! Are you alright?! What just happened?! Do you need any help?!” Rarity looked almost frantic.

Heartbreak’s brow dripped with a bit of sweat and she took several deep breaths. “I-I-I’m fine, Rarity... Augh! Ah... I-it’s stopped...”

"But what was that?! Was that the-” She stopped herself in mid sentence. “We should see Twilight! Maybe-”

“No! It’s. Fine. Rarity,” Heartbreak replied. Her eyes still wide as she sniffed and fought the urge to scream.

“But, but H.B.! You- you’re-” Rarity gasped still in shock over what she had witnessed. Heartbreak put a hoof up and swallowed hard.

“Jussst fine.” she hissed, shaking her head in an attempt to block the pain. She took a deep breath to compose herself and looked up at Rarity. “I guess the fetting thing just doesn’t like to be-” She looked up and paused before she eyed the door.

“What is-” Rarity began looking around.

“I thought I heard...” Dust fell from the ceiling as Heartbreak’s ears pivoted upwards. She rolled her eyes. “I guess Slide Ruler finally wanted them to start work on the roof. Would have been nice if they gave me a heads up first...”

Rarity sighed looking at the charred fabric lying on the floor and then she glared at Heartbreak’s ‘cutie mark.’ “Ruined on the first day!”

Heartbreak smirked, her leg shaking a little. “They aren’t ruined to me, Rarity. You did a nice job of making some rather simple pants. It’s just that in the future? I guess we’re going to have to make some ... adjustments.”

“You still like them?” Rarity asked smiling.

Heartbreak paused as she looked at Rarity. “Yes. Other than what just happened? They are nice comfortable and well fitting pants. Thank you, Rarity.” The white unicorn nearly giggled in glee. “Now, not to sound ungrateful? Mind helping me take them off? The last thing that we need is others... uhm... seeing...”

“Oh! Right, of course,” Rarity replied. “If need be, and if anypony asks we can always say it was a last minute alteration to make your scars more comfortable.”

Heartbreak smirked and stood up. “That’s so close to the truth, its scary.”

==================================================================

The three young fillies darted to the sides of the door before Heartbreak could see them. All three of them seemed utterly confused at what they had just witnessed. Scootaloo looked as if she was going to say something, but Sweetie Belle quickly raised her hoof in time to silence her.

Applebloom motioned the three of them to move back to the room from which they came. Upon arrival, she quickly closed the door. For a few minutes, the fillies were completely muted by what they had just seen. It couldn’t have been a trick of the light, Rarity’s magic or anything else! The cutie mark had burned it’s way right through her pants!

Finally, after the quiet was too much to bear, Scootaloo spoke.

“I told you that the crack looked like an upside down tree,”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle blinked and frowned in confusion at their friend.

“What?” Scootaloo asked, innocently.

Author's Note

Thanks to my Creative Team, Proofreaders and Editors: Ruhadir, Zalio, Carrie, Tenpin, Anticarrot, Ikion Star and a nameless who wants to be anonymous.
Chapter art can be found here:

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/062/5/b/chapter_forty__buring_curiosity_by_sabertooth1980-d78qcue.jpg

The Three Little Fillies and the Big Bad Cutie Mark

Chapter 41

The Three Little Fillies and the Big Bad Cutie Mark

“Did... Did we really just see a cutie mark burn right through a pair of pants?” Sweetie Belle asked in a hushed tone.

“Ah... Ah don’t know, Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom replied, eyeing the doorway worriedly. “How is that even possible? Aren’t cutie marks just meant ta show the rest of the world what yer special talent is? They don’t have any added effects, do they?” She looked at Sweetie Belle.

“What are you asking me for?” Sweetie Belle asked, scratching her leg and looking back at Applebloom.

“No offense, Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom explained, walking over to the bedroom door and pushing it so that it only remained slightly ajar. “But yer the unicorn here.”

“That doesn’t mean that I know anything about cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle replied defensively.

“But aren’t cutie marks magic?” Scootaloo asked, before staring at the broken heart drawing that lay at her hooves.

“Well, yeah,” Sweetie Belle replied. “But that doesn’t mean that I know anything about them like that. My magic hasn’t even come in yet!”

“But you know at least something about magic and cutie marks?” Scootaloo asked, rolling her eyes.

“Only what Rarity has showed me. And that’s not much,” Sweetie Belle confessed. “And as far as cutie marks go? I just know what Cheerilee taught us in school. That they appear when a pony finds out what their special talent is.”

“Which is just as much as any of us know,” Scootaloo replied disappointingly.

“I’m sorry! It’s just that-” Sweetie Belle started glaring at her horn.

Scootaloo put a hoof up at Sweetie Belle to stop her from continuing. “It’s not your fault there, Sweetie Belle. Everypony grows at their own pace.” She fluffed her wings before looking up at the little white unicorn. “We’re just asking.”

“I know, it just-” Sweetie Belle looked at the broken heart that she drew. The drawing seemed to be more menacing and darker than she remembered it. “-I don’t know everything about magical things just because I’m a unicorn.” She pushed it away from her and under the nearby covered dresser.

In the mist of the sheets that covered the furniture, giving the vague outlines that lay beneath them, a question started to form. A question that clung to the air like the faint smell of burning fabric that wafted from under the doorway. A question that was dying to get out, that seemed to be scratching at the doors and windows of the three fillies minds. Finally, Scootaloo found she couldn’t stand the silence from her friends.

“Is it possible to earn a-” She swallowed hard and looked around. “bad mark?”

“Scootaloo!” Applebloom scolded her friend.

“What? I’m just saying,” Scootaloo began as she glared at her own drawing of the broken heart, right Sweetie Belle’s. “I mean old Mare Withersworth said-”

Applebloom rolled her eyes and waved her hoof at her friend dismissively. “The bad mark is just an old pony’s tale there, Scoots.”

Despite that little bit of self reassurance, the yellow filly couldn’t help but get an uneasy feeling from her own very drawing. All the schoolyard mythologies that had grown up about ‘The Bad Mark,’ where numerous and almost always terrifying. Even drawing the, ‘bad mark’ was said to bring about some sort of misfortune.

“What if it’s not just an old pony’s tale?” Sweetie Belle asked as she bit down on her hoof. “What if it’s really real?”

“Ah seriously doubt it’s a real-” Applebloom’s words were cut off as she heard the door behind the three of them creak open.

“Girls?” Heartbreak’s voice made the three fillies jump in fright.

“Just act natural,” Applebloom whispered as she turned around. “Hey, H.B.!”

Heartbreak looked at the three fillies questioningly. “Are you three alright?” The crusaders broke out into wide smiles.

“Uuhm, yeah!” Scootaloo replied. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Well, not to sound like some over protective mother figure,” She tapped on the door opening it further. “But your door was almost closed. Others might not say anything normally, but with my hoof condition? I can’t really open these doors.” Heartbreak tilted her head and blinked at the girls. “Uhm, are you sure you girls are ok? You look kinda... spooked...”

“We’re just fine!” Applebloom replied before giving Heartbreak a concerned look. “Are ya ok there, H.B.?”

Heartbreak eyes darted back and forth as she hung in the doorway. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Uhm,” Sweetie Belle began awkwardly. “It’s because we heard this really weird sound not too long ago. It sounded like a-”

“A screamer bird!” Scootaloo interjected.

“A screamer bird?” Heartbreak asked blinking.

“Yeah, screamer bird, they’re these weird birds that live out in the Everfree Forest.” Scootaloo explained. “They make a horrible noise that sounds like, well... high pitched screaming.”

“That... That might have been me, girls,” Heartbreak finally admitted rubbing the back of her head. “Rarity was helping me into the pants she made me and well, not only did they rub over my scars wrong, but the inner leg was too tight. It was pinching and chafing in a horribly tight manner.”

“Well, there’s one mystery solved girls,” Applebloom replied.

“Was there another mystery needing to be solved?” Heartbreak asked in a bemused manner.

“Uhm, actually?” Scootaloo began. “I thought I smelled something burning.”

Heartbreak’s eyes went wide for a moment and her ears drooped quickly. “Oh, that. Rarity turned on that old sewing machine? And a part of it was starting to overheat, bad electrical wiring. I was able to unplug it before anything caught fire. But overheating electronics is still something that smells awful.” The three fillies looked at each other questioningly. The tan mare just rolled her eyes and applied her hoof to her face. “Never mind.” She looked around the room awkwardly. “So, I just wanted to make sure that you girls were alright and stuff.”

“Yeah, we’re just peachy!” Scootaloo replied smiling widely and scratching the back of her head.

“Good to hear, Scootaloo...” Heartbreak replied giving the filly a questioning look and she shook her head. “Anyhow, I'm going to clean a little before dinner and you girls are free to stay here and draw. I’m thinking I’m going to start with that bedroom downstairs on the far end of the house. I'm letting you know, just in case you three need anything.”

“Actually, we three were just talkin’ about how we changed our minds about helpin’ ya do some of that cleanin’ there, H.B.!” Applebloom piped up hugging her friends.

“We did?” Scootaloo whispered before Appleboom squeezed her painfully. “Oh yeah! We did.”

Heartbreak cocked her head. “Really? Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well... it’s just that ya were bein’ so generous in gettin’ us lunch is all.” Applebloom explained waving her hoof. “So we decided that helpin’ ya would be our way of returnin’ the favor!”

“I see what’s going on here...” Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed at the three fillies and they looked at each other nervously. “Girls...” She began.

“Yes, H.B.?” Scootaloo asked swallowing hard.

She sighed and closed her eyes, looking as if she was trying to calm herself down. “You shouldn’t try to make each other feel guilty over what Scootaloo said earlier. Not everyp-p-pony likes to draw.”

Scootaloo tried very hard not to face-hoof, before giving a mock glare at Applebloom. “Yeah! I told you she didn’t think I did anything wrong!”

Heartbreak’s head tilted to her left as she looked at the mess of papers on the floor. “Though I am glad you did do some drawings while I was gone.”

“Ah’m sorry there, Scoots,” Applebloom apologized rubbing the back of her head. “Ah just thought that H.B. took it a bit harder than ah thought. No hard feelins?”

“Ha! No hard feelings,” Scootaloo replied.

Heartbreak’s eyes widened a bit and she smirked at the three while covering her face before coughing. “Right,” her voice squeaked out. “So, I am still going to be downstairs cleaning that room. I would start with the master bedroom, but Rarity is currently using that to make me some more overwear.”

“H.B., we can still help ya if ya want us ta,” Applebloom said looking up at the tan mare.

Heartbreak backed away slightly. “Uhm, only if you three really want to. There’s a lot of dust and cobwebs to get at, and then there’s the sheets... geez, those are going to be a pain to get.”

“All the more reason for you to have some help!” Sweetie Belle said jumping up.

“Alright,” Heartbreak replied smirking. “The first thing you three can do to is put those pencils and papers, along with your drawings, back in my saddlebags.” She rolled her eyes. “Like I said, I’m going to be downstairs starting on that one far bedroom. Still haven’t got a real good look at what’s all in there.”

“We’ll be down there in a bit, H.B!” Applebloom replied cheerfully.

Heartbreak’s questioning look stayed on her face before she shook her head. “Alright, just don’t go rooting around in my saddlebags please.” She said walking out of the doorway and downstairs. “And after we’re done cleaning - We’ll have some dinner.”

The three fillies let out a collective sigh as they heard Heartbreak’s hoof steps reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Why did we just agree to that?!” Scootaloo exclaimed in a low voice.

Applebloom chewed on her lower lip. “‘Cause, ah want to get a closer look at that cutie mark,” she finally replied.

“Why would you want to do that?!” Sweetie Belle responded. “If that’s a bad mark, who knows what it can do!”

“Exactly,” Applebloom replied.

“I’m confused,” Sweetie Belle replied, blankly.

“I think I get it,” Scootaloo said looking thoughtful. “This could be our one and only time to actually see what a ‘bad mark’ looks like! What it really does, and maybe how to... uhm... Avoid getting one?”

“That’s what ah was thinkin’ there, Scoots,” Applebloom replied tapping her chin. “But ah want ta be sure that’s what we’ve actually found, just in case. We don’t wanna just go askin’ her about it. So Ah’m thinkin’, we might have ta be a bit sneaky-like about it.”

“Like ninjas?” Scootaloo asked excitedly. “Cause I would totally want to get a ninja cutie mark!” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. Sometimes Scootaloo had her blinders on too tight, only seeing what was in front of her.

“What Applebloom means is... well,” she paused and looked thoughtful.

“She started ta lie really fast,” Applebloom said frowning as she started to pick up the loose pencils and papers. “An' Applejack is always tellin’ me that honesty is the best policy. If we want ta know more about a bad mark? Ah don’t think H.B. is going ta be very forthcomin’ with any answers. Like ah said, we might have ta be sneaky about this.”

Scootaloo opened Heartbreak’s saddle bag and allowed Applebloom and Sweetie Belle to neatly place the papers and pencils there within. “Yeah! Like I said! Ninjas...” She said striking an exaggerated pose.

Applebloom rolled her eyes and smirked at her friend. “Yeah, like ninjas.”

=====================================================================

When you’re bored and have nothing to do, your mind will find something for you to do. Humans are funny like that. Our brains actually need stimulation. In fact, the worst forms of punishment aren’t being stuck with needles, crushed under rocks or slowly drowned.

It’s being left alone.

Stuck in solitary confinement, being deprived of interaction, or even being forced to be alone without anyone or anybody, or in my current situation, anypony or being to talk to.

Standing in the sheet laden room that’s decorated in cobwebs and a thin layer of dust. I’m left to contemplate these things as I assess what needs to be done. I have to think about them, otherwise I will be thinking about... it.

I’ve never thought to cover the branding on my flank. I mean, ponies walk around nearly naked all the time. If I didn’t know about, ‘overwear,’ I would still be assuming that they were always naked. And most all the time, even if they are wearing clothing? They have something to show what their cutie mark is.

I push my hoof against a large sheet that is covering the bed of this room in a vain, hopeful attempt that it will slide off. I sigh because my expectations about it not coming down are met. Alright, let’s try this again. Pulling down a sheet off the bed, I’m greeted with a flouring of dust and small debris. I shake them off along with them the blanket. Looking down, I see that my hat has decided to join the mix.

“Oh well,” I think to myself. “Not like there is anyone here to see my ears.” The coolness from the surrounding air feels good as it runs through my mane. One of the hazards of wearing hats, trapped heat and sweat from daily activities. Another hazard is the fact that if you wear a hat months at a time without washing it? It grows ... funky. Smells vaguely like mushrooms and pool water. Ugh...

“Not going to make that same mistake with this hat,” I mutter out loud. My mind keeps reaching back to what exactly happened not too long ago. Fuck you brain. Seriously, why? Fine, you want to pick apart of what just happened? It’s really easy to understand. I glare at the black broken heart on my ass.

“Really easy to understand. Everything you were fearing about this thing? Most likely true. It’s alive. And it doesn’t want to be covered.” I take a deep breath, recalling exactly what the sensation of the burning felt like. It was a sudden, quick and painful. I was fighting so hard not to scream. I sure that it must have shocked Rarity to see me shrug the whole ordeal off like it was nothing, but on the inside? I was screaming and crying. It feels so fucking unfair that these things keep happening to me. These series of unfortunate events.

But. I’m getting sorta used to these ‘events’ happening. The Ides of March left me heartbroken at the beginning of all this when I had my gender switched and told that I was too unstable to live. April showers brought the Creativi-Tea event and a trip into my own mind. May flowers bloomed and back on the farm I learned about the fact that I can’t use my hooves or change my name. And this month has shown me that I can kill some kinds of plants and have a horrible branding that can depress and burn things. These things aren’t escalating as much as building upon each other. Well, at least I hope they aren’t escalating. Celestia wouldn’t allow me to live if they were. But I’m almost expecting things like this. Just one more thing that I have to put up with.

I run my hoof through my mane and take a deep breath before coughing a bit on the dust.

I know I’m taking this in the best stride that I can, but fuck, there is a part of me that wants to go and hide in a small corner and just cry or wants to scream or maybe just wants to curse at the sky and shout profanities at the Nine. And just for good measure? Yell at the empty sky while pretending to unleash my bile and vitriol at Celestia.

“Hey, H.B.!” Appleblooms all too cheerful voice jarrs me out of my thoughts. The three little fillies are standing in the doorway with big smiles and bright eyes. Fuck, there’s a jarring emotional state. Then again? I could use some fucking pony mind bleach here. ... Alright, maybe, ‘fucking,’ wasn’t the best word to use here. But pony mind bleach could be very useful here. “We took care of the pencils and our drawin’s.”

“And now there’s nothing to fear because now we’re here to help you in-” Scootaloo swallows hard and looks around.“-cleaning.” Seriously? A filly like that who has faced some of the more horrifying things in Equestria is afraid of cleaning? Then again? I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s just one more little trope to add to the list of tropes in this world. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle just roll their eyes and give their friend a look.

“So! Where ya want us ta start?” Applebloom asks, plucking my hat from out of the sheets.

I’m not terribly sure I like the idea of ordering the C.M.C. around to do what is obviously my job. Well, it isn’t a job as much as it’s something that I need to get done. Well- Shut up brain!

“H.B.?”

Looking over in the direction of her voice, I get a twitch of, ‘d’aww!’ Applebloom is wearing my hat. It looks weird with the bow in back, but it’s almost fitting considering that her voice actress actually broke a drill sergeant’s cap one time. I think it was one of those... I can’t quite recall.

“You can start by putting that hat back on my head,” I reply, snirking and bowing my head. “I kinda feel wrong without it. And I guess... we’ll start by folding up this sheet?” A moment later I feel it doffed up on my head.

“Not a problem there, H.B.!” Applebloom says in a commanding voice. “Alright girls let’s hop to it!”

I shouldn’t be terribly confused about this. It’s just that I didn’t think that these three would take to helping me clean with such gusto all of a sudden. But on the other hand... They’ve been rather bipolar about it all themselves. Wanting to help me at one moment, moaning and groaning about it the next. But these are three little fillies we are talking about here. Not to mention the C.M.C. They are hyperactive, have short attention spans, and almost always sticking their noses into something they shouldn’t.

My sigh turns into a chuckle as I watch the three of them start to tackle on the mighty sheet monster that lays on the floor.

=====================================================================

Applebloom watched as her friends jumped to attention and attempted fold up the sheet that lay on the floor. Just like she expected, the scene seemed to be providing a perfect distraction. Heartbreak seemed to be fighting an urge to giggle as the two fillies tussled about and tugged, trying to find the best way to fold the sheet up.

“Girls, I really don’t think that’s the way you fold a sheet,” Heartbreak said through a bit of laughter.

“Don’t worry there, H.B.,” Applebloom said walking towards her friends. “Ah’ll get these two ruffians ta behave!” She pulled the sheet off the two feuding fillies before trying to stretch it out on the floor.

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Sure you will, Applebloom. While you’re doing that I’m going to pull down a few more sheets. Just... Don’t hurt yourselves.” She quickly turned away while obviously failing to hold in a laugh. Applebloom directed Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle to either side of the sheet.

“Sure thing, H.B.!” Applebloom replied saluting her.

Heartbreak pulled down a sheet down from the windows before turning and looking at the little filly. As she did so, the sheet came toppling down on her head. In a comical manner, she began to stumble about in an attempt to remove it off her head.

“So?” Scootaloo whispered holding a bit of the sheet in her mouth.

“Ah think what ya heard from Mars was right. H.B. is a sucker for a cute face.” Applebloom muttered.

“If that’s the case?” Sweetie Belle pulled her side to meet up with Scootaloo's. “I have an idea. But we’re going to need another sheet.”

“Girls! Help!” Heartbreak finally shouted in a voice that was mixed with both laughter and panic.

“Ah don’t think that’s gonna be a problem, Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom replied with a smile on her face. “Follow ma lead.” She walked over to Heartbreak who was still trapped under the sheet and pulled it off the mare in a large arc that caused it to fall upon Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Heartbreak coughed and wiped her face off before adjusting her hat. “Thank you, Applebloom. I didn’t mean-” She sighed as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo started to tussle under the sheet. “Great. Here we go again.” She grimaced as her teeth clattered together as the two fillies pulled the sheet out of her grasp. “Ouch! Darn it, come here you two!”

Applebloom smiled and cautiously walked behind Heartbreak. She craned her head to the side in an attempt to look at the prize before her. “That’s it girls, keep her distracted. Alright, let’s get a good look at-” Just then, a large swath of messy brown flicked and swished over her cutie mark.

“Alright you two,” Heartbreak said catching up with the sheet clad fillies. “Let me get you out of that-” Riiiiiiiiiiiiip! “Darn it...”

“Sorry, H.B!” Heartbreak looked at the origin of the ripping noise only to be greeted oversized green eyes that peered back through roughly torn holes. “It got caught on my horn!” Sweetie Belle looked at the frustration painted on Applebloom’s face as she ducked her head back and forth on either side of Heartbreak’s flanks. She frowned as the tail kept flicking back and forth, thwarting her attempts to study the mark.

“She needs more time!” Sweetie Belle mouthed at Scootaloo. “Are you ready?” A nod was her only response.

“It’s alright girls, it’s only a sheet but really-” Heartbreak jumped back as the sheet monster in front of her began to rise up. “What are you two doing?”

“OoooooooO!” Scootaloo moaned with Sweetie Belle perched on her shoulders. “I am the ghost that lives in this room!”

Heartbreak’s eyebrow quirked as she smirked. “Heh, very funny you two. Come on, I don’t want you getting hurt. Let’s get that-”

“OooooooO!” Sweetie Belle moaned lifting her hooves up. “We’ve come to greet yoooooou! This is oooooour hoooouse!”

Heartbreak started to snicker and chuckle a bit. “Alright, that’s cute, but seriously girls. I know we just got started but the more you play-” She stopped for a moment and looked as if she was going to turn her head back.

“Oooooooo! We see that you have made improooooovements! This pleases us!!” Scootaloo moaned.

Sweetie Belle looked down at her friend. “You made a terrible ghost, Scootaloo.”

Scootaloo looked up at her friend and stuck her tongue out. “You try doing something then!”

“Ooooooo! It only pleases ooooone of us!” Sweetie howled. “I for one liked the hooooouse like it was! Toooooniiiight when yooooou are sleeping! We’re going to come and steal yoooour beeeed sheeeeeets!” Heartbreak only responded by laughing.

“That’s not scary!” Scootaloo whispered up at Sweetie Belle.

“Is so! Have you ever tried sleeping without bedsheets?! It feels weird!” Sweetie Belle protested. “You try again!”

“Aaaaand we’ll put bugs and snakes in your bed!!” Scootaloo moaned.

“Scootaloo! That’s just mean,” Sweetie Belle said as she poked her friend.

“Hey! Watch it!” Scootaloo protested while struggling.

“Girls...” Heartbreak said warily as the two began to wobble back towards the bed. “Girls!”

“You watch it!” Sweetie Belle cried back. Suddenly, Scootaloo tripped on the sheet and the two fillies toppled against the bed. Heartbreak rushed up to the bed and looked them over.

“Are you two alright?” She asked between a bit of laughter.

Scootaloo looked at Applebloom who was still ducking and weaving back and forth trying to get a good look at the cutie mark. “Yeah, just fine!”

“Yeah, just fine,” Sweetie Belle remarked rubbing her head. “We had something soft to break our landing.”

“Speak for yourself,” Scootaloo grumbled, picking herself off the ground.

“Applebloom can you-” Heartbreak turned to look at Applebloom who suddenly stopped her behavior. “Uhm... Are you ok?”

Applebloom momentarily looked away. “Uhm, yeah! Ah just thought ah saw some cobwebs in yer tail! Don’t wanna get any spiders on ya,” she said with a big smile on her face.

Heartbreak gave her a questioning look. “Yeah...”

“Yeah, with this close to the Everfree Forest, you might have to worry about glass spiders!” Sweetie Belle chirped.

“That’s good to know there, Sweetie Belle.” Heartbreak replied, still looking at Applebloom questioningly.

“And if we find any? We’ll be sure to squash them flat for you!” Scootaloo stomped her hoof down on the bed. Heartbreak turned and gave a rather unhappy look.

“Please don’t kill any spiders you find in my house, Scootaloo,” she said with a stern look. “I happen to like spiders.”

“Oh.” Scootaloo tilted her head.

“If we find any spiders, we’ll put them in a cup and take them outside then?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yes please.” Heartbreak turned around and sighed as she looked at the state of the room. “Also, thanks girls.”

“For what?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“For seeing that I needed a good laugh,” Heartbreak replied with a weak smile. “The little ghost skit was nice. But now that the silliness is over? Let’s get to actually cleaning this room?”

The three fillies looked at each other, big smiles covering their feelings of guilt.

=====================================================================

It doesn’t take us long to get all the sheets off everything in this room. I mean, after the three of them stop with their horseplay. Heh, horseplay.

The room is in a rather decent state after all the sheets are put away. I could have just tossed them into a closet folded up, but Sweetie Belle was insistent on them being put in a dresser drawer. Which if I don’t want to hear complaints from Rarity come later? Most likely a good idea. Though It strikes me odd that despite the house sitting for so long everything seems to be in rather descent condition.

The girls were pretty much getting into everything and opening anything they could. They found the blankets that go to the bed and then helped me make that bed. It was really nice of them, but at the same time, I still felt annoyed that I couldn't just do this on my own. I mean, for fucks sake, it's making a bed!

By the time that’s all done? I’m starting to feel a wee bit tired. I’m not sure if it is some of the stress of the events that happened today or what. But seriously, I need to get into better shape than this. Sweetie Belle seems to want to do some dusting in this room but upon hearing the clock chime half past six? I’m thinking that we should start dinner.

“Alright girls,” I wipe a bit of sweat from my brow. “Let’s say that we start on dinner?” The three look at each other with some form of worried concern.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do some more cleaning? This room is awfully dusty,” Sweetie Belle asks showing off her cute eyes.

“Girls...” I shake my head at this. Great, they must feel guilty about something, but I’m not sure what exactly. “Unless you want to earn your cutie marks in room service? I suggest that we call this one a day. Besides, we don’t have any Lemon Pledge.”

“Huh?” Applebloom asks scratching her head. The looks of confusion on their faces is just priceless.

“Nothing, let’s just go see what Rarity bought at the market,” I reply making my way to the kitchen.

On the table there’s the, ‘bounty’ that Rarity gathered from the market while the girls and I were eating. I wondered what took her so long in actually joining us.

“Let’s see what we got here... Fruit and veggie platter. Carrots, celery, cucumbers, apple slices aaaand a jar of peanut butter,” I glare at the jar of peanut butter. I really don’t have to go into how much I miss my fingers. Fuck it. I’m going to try opening it. I don’t care that my hooves have failed for opening doors, picking things up or practically everything else. I’m going to try it. Watch out! Here I go!

=====================================================================

“Well, that was a total failure...” Applebloom muttered as Heartbreak left the room.

“Seriously?” Scootaloo asked. “You didn’t get a good look at her mark once?”

“Not with her tail swishin’ about an’ coverin’ it all the time!” Applebloom grumbled.

Scootaloo rubbed her temples and threw up her hooves looking mind boggled. “But we were in that room cleaning like forever!”

“We’ll if ya think it was so easy, maybe you should be the one who tries next!” Applebloom griped poking Scootaloo on the chest.

“Girls!” Sweetie Belle put a hoof up to her lips and hushed them. “If we get too loud, she’s going to think that we’re up to something! And aren’t we meant to be ninjas or something like that?”

Applebloom sighed. “Yer right, Sweetie Bell. Ah didn’t mean ta get all upset. It was just so frusteratin’. Ah mean how hard is it ta look at a cutie mark?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and lightly punched her friend on the shoulder. “It’s alright. But I’ll go next and show you how a pro does it!”

Sweetie Belle stopped and looked unnerved. “You’re a pro at looking at cutie marks?”

Scootaloo gacked. “What? No! I mean at being a....” She paused and made a dramatic pose. “Ninja!” Suddenly a frustrated cry came out from the kitchen.

“Giiiiiirls!” Heartbreak’s exhausted voice came. “I need your heeelp!”

“Alright! Let’s do this!” Scootaloo said stretching her limbs and lightly cracking her neck.

“Now!” Heartbreak’s impatient voice called out distressed.

“Comin’ H.B.!” Applebloom called back. She turned and looked at Scootaloo. “Just remember ta make it look like we’re not lookin’, Scoots. We don’t wanna get caught.”

“Pffft! What kind of ninja would I be if I got caught!” Scootaloo replied smirking. “Ninjas never get caught!”

“She’s taking this, ‘ninja’ thing way too seriously,” Sweetie Belle muttered rolling her eyes.

“Tell me about it,” Applebloom said turning into the kitchen.

“Ugh!!” Heartbreak shouted exasperatedly.

“What’s the matter there H.B.?” Applebloom asked before spotting the problem that sat upon the kitchen table.

Heartbreak threw her head back in frustration. “Stupid peanut butter jar!” As she glared at the object of her hatred, her mane formed frazzling curls.

“You’re having trouble with a jar of peanut butter?” Scootaloo asked. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle almost jumped as Heartbreak snorted, her eye twitching slightly. “Oh, right.” The filly chuckled and rubbed the back of her head. “I forgot about your hooves...”

Heartbreak took several deep breaths. “It’s alright, Scootaloo. Every so often I work myself into a tizzy over things like this... I hope you girls didn’t think I was snapping at you or anything. I was just really hoping... Never mind.”

“Don’t ya worry a thing about it there, H.B.!” Applebloom said stepping forward and spitting on her hooves before rubbing them together. “Ah’ll take care of that pesky jar?” She smiled and hopped up onto one of the tables chairs.

Heartbreak sighed looking at her hooves before pushing the jar over. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“It’d be ma pleasure!” Applebloom said winking at her friends.

“Is there anything that I can do to help?” Sweetie Belle piped up looking at the assortment of fruits and vegetables contained in a round plastic tray.

“Well...” Heartbreak coughed. “If you could get that open? That’d be peachy. We’re going to have pretty much a rather poor meal if you ask me. Really light on... anything. But I guess any food is better than no food. Going to really have to stock up on foodstuffs tomorrow, I guess.”

Scootaloo slowly edged up to Heartbreak’s side hoping she wouldn’t take notice. The mare was watching Sweetie Belle struggling with the plastic cover on the veggy tray, while Applebloom carefully opened the jar of peanut butter. The mare’s flank was almost right in plain view. “Alright, not a sound! Just have to-”

“Scootaloo,” Heartbreak turned sharply.

The little filly jumped and gave Heartbreak a wide smile. “Yes, H.B?”

“You know where the utensils are?” She asked tapping her chin. “We’re going to need a knife to spread the peanut butter.”

“Spread it?” Sweetie Belle asked just as her struggles paid off and the plastic lid popped off.

“Yeah, celery sticks and peanut butter go great together. And apple slices too.” Heartbreak mused.

“Rarity isn’t a fan of peanut butter,” Sweetie Belle said looking over at Scootaloo momentarily. “She says that...” She paused while Scootaloo resumed trying to catch a glance of Heartbreak’s flank. “That it sticks to the roof of her mouth and is terribly fattening.”

“She would say something like that, now wouldn’t she? To which I say,” Heartbreak stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry. “Peanut butter is great.” She held up a hoof. “Unless you have allergies. Wait... Do any of you have allergies?”

“None that ah know of,” Applebloom said looking over at Heartbreak. “Huh, there’s this here white paper cover on the jar. Do ya want me ta get that too?”

Heartbreak snorted and looked like she was fighting the urge to say something. “Yes please, Applebloom. Otherwise? It’s going to be very hard to get at the peanut butter."

Scootaloo slowly turned her head back towards the prize of her desire. “That’s right girls. Keep her busy while I take a peek...” Just as she did so, Heartbreak’s tail flipped up to cover the mark.

“What about you, Scootaloo?” Heartbreak asked looking down.

“Huh?!” Scootaloo yelped nearly jumping away.

Heartbreak reacted by looking at her tail. “What? Is there an actual spider in my tail!?” She began to hoof around through the mess of brown hair.

“I thought you liked spiders,” Sweetie Belle said attempting to get the mare’s attention again.

“I do like spiders,” Heartbreak replied attempting to straighten her tail. “But there is a difference between looking at them and having them on you. Huh. Looks like I’m clean. So, Scoots,” She paused. “You don’t mind if I call you, ‘Scoots,’ do you?”

“I don’t see why not! All my friends do!” Scootaloo took a deep breath. “Geez, that was a close one. Calm down, it’s only been a few minutes! There’s plenty of time to get a good look!” A ripple of emotion waved across Heartbreak’s face and she coughed.

“Somethin’ wrong there, H.B.?” Applebloom asked pulling the cover off the peanut butter.

“Huh? What?” Heartbreak rubbed her eyes. “Nope, just fine. Had some dust in my eyes. Right, like I was asking. You don’t have any allergies, do you, Scoots?”

“Uhm,” Scootaloo blinked. “What the hay is that about?” She shrugged and pretended to look thoughtful. “None that I know of.”

“What about you, H.B.?” Sweetie Belle asked tapping on Heartbreak’s shoulder. “Do you have any allergies?”

“Glad to know it. Mind getting that knife?” Heartbreak turned back to Sweetie Belle. “Hmmm, I can only think of one allergy. Kind of serious, and kind of not. It’s one of those allergies that I never really got checked out. It’s actually nut based.”

“Yeah, no problem!” Scootaloo replied zipping to the drawer and pulling out a butter knife.

“Really?!” Applebloom said covering the peanut butter jar with her hoof.

“Thank you, Scoots. Oh, don’t worry. It’s not peanut based. It’s actually sunflower seeds. Really weird too seeing that sunflower oil is like in most everything.” Heartbreak said dismissively.

“It is?” Sweetie Belle asked raising her eyebrows at Scootaloo.

“Yeah. I don’t have any problems with the oil, just the whole kernels.” Heartbreak answered. “The only reason I actually know about this allergy is because there was this one time I was given a whole salad by somep-p-pony and it was practically nothing but sunflower kernels. Took a few bites of that and my nose started to itch.”

“Just an itchy nose?” Applebloom inquired pulling her hoof away from the jar. She sniffed the air and smelled the distinct aroma of peanut butter. Peanut butter that was now covering her fetlock.

Scootaloo snuck over to Heartbreak’s other side and eased her way next to Sweetie Belle, her eyes glancing down. “Alright, let’s try this again! You can do it Scoots! You are a ninja! You are a-” Suddenly Heartbreak’s tail flopped over her mark again. “What?! Seriously!”

Heartbreak’s ears drooped more under her hat. “Well... First there was the itchy nose. Then there was the sneezing. Really bad sneezing. And then it was followed by something you girls would find just gross...”

“And what was that?” Scootaloo asked, pretending to be part of the conversation.

“I'm not sure I should tell you girls,” Heartbreak replied giving a look of disgust. “Oh! And plates. We need plates. You girls found some plates when you were messing around my kitchen earlier, right?” Sweetie Belle nodded. “Good, Scoots, you mind getting those as well... please?”

“Uhm, sure...” The young pegasi zipped over to a cabinet and pulled out a few plates. “And you don’t have to worry about grossing us out! We’re young fillies,” she replied waving her hoof dismissively. “We’ve dealt with all sorts of disturbing, gross and nasty things! Right, girls?”

“Well, I guess it would be a good idea to tell you three, just in case it happens again. Can’t be too careful right?” Heartbreak watched the two others nod their heads in agreement. “Right, well, I was sneezing so hard it seems, that there was blood in my mucus.” The three fillies looked rather horrified for a moment.

“Blood?!” Sweetie Belle asked squirming and making a disgusted face.

“Hey, you three wanted to know,” Heartbreak replied. “It wasn’t horrible blood... but it was still disturbing that it was there.” She rubbed her ankle awkwardly. “So! How about we make supper for you all! Who wants to spread the peanut butter?”

Author's Note

Chapter Art! http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/sabertooth1980/Chapter41ThreeFilliesBadMark_zpsf1aaa9f5.jpg

Don't Sue Me

Chapter 42

Don’t Sue Me

I really hope that I didn’t gross out the girls to the point where they don’t like me. I know that I have hundreds of other problems on my mind as it is, and that these three thinking that I’m ‘uncool’ or something should be on the bottom of my priorities list. But at the same time? They’re sisters to three ponies that are rather vital to my continued existence.

I’m having Applebloom spread the peanut butter on the celery and apple slices while Sweetie Belle is divvying out how many of each thing gets placed on the plates. Other than the little explanation of the blood thing? This has overall been really pleasant!

Well, other than my tail tossing, turning and flipping about. Fucking thing. I swear it’s more useless than my hooves. In the show, tails seemed to be quasi-prehensile. Seriously, Applejack could throw a lasso with hers, I think I saw Mrs. Cake lift baby bottles, and I swear Zecora did something with hers. Not to mention the fact that Rarity hid that box with Pinkie Pie’s birthday cake in it... At least with my hooves I can push things around. But my tail? It’s big, bushy, and another tangled mess of hair that I have to brush. Just a fetting hassle. I wish I could just shave it clean, but that would look really weird and most likely lead to even more strange stares, and the last thing I need is even more attention drawn my way.

I break out of these annoyed thoughts and look at the present reality around me. I have three little fillies helping me out with a task that would for the most part seem impossible. Or at the very least: difficult and messy.

“I know this might seem unnecessary, but thanks again, girls,” Alright, maybe I’m overdoing it with the ‘thank you’s’, but I’m terrible with awkward silences and - ugh. I’m over thinking again.

“Don’t think anything of it, H.B.!” Sweetie Belle replies smiling at me.

“Eeyup!” Applebloom clears her throat and spreads more peanut butter on an apple slice. “We’re just happy ta help. After all, it must be hard doin’ this without Fingers ta help ya!”

My heart jumps upon hearing that and I almost choke on my own spit.

“F-fingers?” I ask meekly.

“Yer pet raccoon?” Applebloom asks giving a questioning look. “Ma cousin Crab Apple told me about how ya used ta have a pet raccoon before ya came here ta Equestria!”

“Oh! Yeah,” Darn it! Come up with a good cover for my reaction! “It’s just that I was surprised that you knew about him. And he likes to be called ‘Dib’ now.”

Suddenly, Scootaloo’s head pops from under table. “You had a pet raccoon!?”

“Gah!” Gawds! They’re just little fillies! Why the hell am I so jumpy?! Then again, I didn’t ask for a Scootaloo-in-the-box or in this case, under-the-table to jump out at me. “Uhm, yes. I had him ever since I was about your age. Scootaloo... What are you doing under the table?”

“Uuuhm, I thought I saw a bit! Turns out that it was just a shiny piece of tinfoil,” She replies giving me a rather large smile. I blink. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that she was up to something. But then again, this is Scootaloo, she’s always up to something.

“Scoots... You don’t have to hide anything with me...” I narrow my eyes at her.

Her eyes go wide and she gives an innocent smile. “Oh?”

Gods, those eyes! I swear, if Celestia doesn’t give me the brain bleach? These damn ponies will. “Putting dinner together isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. I know it’s boring, but you’ve already done your part in getting the dishes.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess I just have -” She looks a bit embarrassed.

“A short attention span!” Sweetie Belle interjects.

“Eeyup! Ya know how Scoots can be,” Applebloom says pausing her spreading. “Always needin’ ta be doin’ somethin’.”

Scootaloo eyes her friends seethingly. “Yeah. That’s me. Scootaloo the short attention spanned.”

“Your fffriends are just giving you grief, Scoots.” I roll my eyes and laugh. Or at least I’m trying to laugh, it comes out more like a fucking giggle. “Now get out from under there. I think Applebloom is almost done.” I look over at the little yellow filly. “Right?”

She quickly spreads peanut butter over one last stick of celery before looking at me with a large smile that seeks out approval. “Eeyup! All done!”

“Yeah,” I tap one of the chairs that is around the table. “So come on. Dinner time.”

As the little pegasus clambers out from under the table, I notice a fifth plate that is peanut butter free. I mentally smack myself upside the head for even wondering who it was for.

“That’s for Rarity, isn’t it?” Applebloom smiles and nods. “Just making sure.” Tilting my head back, I take a deep breath. “Rarity! Dinner’s ready!”

=====================================================================

The three fillies looked at each other while quietly chewing on their food. Never had they actually taken on a task this hard. Normally they would have just dove head on into the situation and asked right upfront any and all questions regarding what they wanted.

“You three are sure being quiet,” Heartbreak commented between mouthfuls of celery. “Something on your minds? Thinking about anything in particular? How next to earn your cutie marks?”

Scootaloo smiled and nodded, her friends quickly joining in. “Yeah! We’ve been trying anything that comes to mind. Though...” She eyed Sweetie Belle, hoping that she would catch the subtle hint at the idea that was forming in her mind.

“As of late we’ve been really low on any ideas!” Sweetie Belle continued, silently passing the conversational cue to Applebloom.

“Oh! Hey, didn’t ya say somethin’ ta Diamond Tiara about the ponies cutie marks up where yer from?” Applebloom asked.

“Uhm,” Heartbreak chewed her food a little more slowly before swallowing. “Yeah, I said that they were a lot more literal and more than often that they were related to things like ice and snow.”

“So it’s nothing but snow year round?” Scootaloo asked, her hoof carefully sliding next to the knife that Sweetie Belle had used to spread the peanut butter with. “Didn’t you say that there were really hot summers too?”

“Yeah, we do have hot summers,” She replied, crunching down on an apple slice. “But there’s a saying in Minneighsota, girls. Well, more of a joke really. ‘We have two seasons: Winter and construction’.”

“Ah don’t get it,” Applebloom asked, noticing how close Scootaloo’s hoof was to the knife and giving a silent nod to what her friend had planned.

“Well,” Heartbreak held up a hoof while she swallowed. “What it means is that winter comes and things freeze over, there’s lots of heavy ice and snow storms. Then when spring brings the thaw? The overall destruction is taken account of and we have to rebuild.” She paused and looked thoughtful. “A great number of the buildings are made of stone and very hard wood. But it requires upkeep. With limited resources and time, p-p-ponies have to work hard to get it all done. So, two seasons: winter and construction.”

“Sounds really hard,” Applebloom scratched her head. “Ah still don’t get how it’s a joke.”

Heartbreak frowned. “It’s one of those things that you have to be there for, I guess.”

“So there isn’t any time for planting?” Sweetie Belle asked tilting her head.

“Uhm, of course there is time for planting,” Heartbreak said poking at a bit of celery on her plate. “It’s just that a different group tends to manage things like that. We try to take advantage of all the light we can get and use insulated greenhouses with battery powered lights, along with heaters to extend the growing seasons.”

“Dib said somethin’ about that in a letter he wrote me,” Applebloom eyed Scootaloo again. “He was wonderin’ if ah had seen ya around. An’ if ya were gonna write ta him any time soon.”

Heartbreak’s ears drooped with a bit of guilt. “I will, It’s just that I didn’t have much to write to him about. Plus I don’t know his address. I mean, I guess I could have asked A.J. but...” she rolled a carrot on her plate with her hoof. “I guess I was kind of waiting for him to write to me first.” She replied looking uneasy.

Just then Scootaloo’s hoof ‘accidentally’ bumped the knife off the table causing it to clatter with a metallic ringing on the floor, this in turn caused Heartbreak to jump. She looked at the little filly with a stunned expression.

“What was-” Heartbreak asked a hoof raised over her chest.

“Oops!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Sorry, it was just the knife! I didn’t mean to-”

“Are you alright?” Sweetie Belle asked looking at Heartbreak in concern.

Heartbreak coughed a bit and took a deep breath. “Yeah, fine. It’s fine. Scootaloo, would you mind picking that knife up and putting it in the sink?”

“No problem!” The filly replied reaching down at the knife before crawling under the table.

“Alright, take two was a failure. That stupid tail of hers was getting in the way. But this time I’m ready! Operation Bad Mark, take three!” Scootaloo once again spied the prize brazened neatly on Heartbreak’s flank... and just like before, the massive brown obstruction nearly jumped between her and any observations she could make. Frustrated but not deterred, she made her way under the table. Maybe she could look at the other side unseen that way!

Heartbreak’s head turned as the sound of the clock chiming fifteen minutes to the hour. “I just noticed that your sister hasn’t come down for dinner...”

As Scootaloo crept out of the table on Heartbreak’s right side, she paused. Like a treasure of some forgotten temple, there was the mark. “Ugh! All this work just to get one look! Alright Scoots! One more time! Just hold still-”

Suddenly, Scootaloo’s vision was flooded with a river of wavy brown tangles and the sound of something thudding against her face.

=====================================================================

I blink and look down over to my right side. I swear just moments ago my tail flipped over and hit some - Oh yup. I just smacked Scootaloo in the face. I’m not sure if I should laugh or be concerned. Quickly, I push the blasted thing out of the way and look over the filly.

“Oh geez, I didn’t mean to do that,” I look at her in concern. “Are you alright there, Scoots?”

She rubs her face. “Yeah! Just fine, though I think a hair went up my nose.” She makes a funny face and I stifle a giggle.

“Good,” I sigh, as long as she’s alright. That’s all that matters.

“Are ya sure yer’ alright there, Scoots?” Applebloom asks, peeking up and over the table.

“Yeah! Fine!” Scootaloo retorts. “It’s just a tail.” Why is it that when cute things get upset it’s funny?

I’ve pretty much finished my plate. Not a very filling dinner, but at least it was something, right? I lean over the table and eye the the stairs leading to the second floor. Calling them ‘the upstairs’ seems redundant. Alright, the fact that Rarity hasn’t come down here to eat with us is starting to get my goat.

Tapping my hoof on the table, I heavily sigh. “Seeing that your sister isn’t coming down, I think I’m going to bring dinner to her, Sweetie Belle.” I say picking up the platter that was reserved for Rarity.

“She was probably wrapped up in her work!” Sweetie Belle exclaims. “She can be like that sometimes. I can give her a call if you’d like.”

“It’s alright,” I reply, attempting not to drool on the plate. It’s something that I think I have gotten better with... At least I hope I have. “You three just finish up your dinner.”

I kind of want to get away from them for another reason. They keep on asking too many questions about where I’m from.

This wouldn’t be a problem with normal ponies - or normal people for that matter - but not me, I’ve had to make up a whole back story for myself. A whole fantasy life complete with who my parents were, what life is like in the cold harsh wastes of Minneighsota and even what the general cutie marks earned are.

The issue with all that is that I haven’t really thought about every and all questions that these three could possibly ask, and as such I could be totally unprepared. Which means I could end up contradicting myself about something. If I am going to live a fantasy life, I better make sure that I have my story straight...

“Are ya sure ya don’t need any help?” Applebloom asks.

“Yup! Ah’m gewd!” I reply, through the side of my mouth. “You three have been more than enough help for today. Why don’t you three have some of the chocolate I got for dessert? It should be plenty solid by now.”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asks me.

“Yeah, really,” I reply walking out of the kitchen and head over to the dumbwaiter. I have been waiting forever to have an excuse to use this thing. As I press the button and then the platter in, I peer my head inside to see how much room is in there exactly.

“Maybe enough room for one of the fillies, but not a full grown pony,” I sigh. I am not going to let this get in the way of my dreams of having a pony elevator that I can operate. ‘Cause seriously, stairs are stupid. I find that I have to push the ‘hoof-button’ extra hard to get it to click. “Must need oiling or something. Maybe there’s a fucking users’ manual somewhere in this house among all the clutter.”

I hear the grinding and tugging of gears and pulleys working together as the tray of food makes its way up to the second floor. Just a few minutes later, when I'm halfway up the stairs, I hear a bell chime and the wooden door slide open.

“Whoever these Millers were, they either were very mechanically inclined or they knew a number of good mechanics. I’m not sure if this thing is electronic or not,” I ponder reaching the top of the stairs.

“H.B.!” I jump a few inches, startled by the nasal voice from behind me. Turning around, I see that it’s Slide Ruler. His face and hooves are covered in soot.

“I-” He shakes his head before sneezing, and floats a handkerchief to this nose. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought I would let you know that we’re done for the day. The roof isn’t fully complete, there are some insulation issues and some rot that was on the back face that we didn’t know about until we started repairs. However, the vines were taken down from that windmill, we repaired the door and the window shutters. Oh! And I cleaned out the fireplace. I gave it a quick test and you should be able to send letters with it.”

“Good... to hear,” I blink and look back and forth, not sure how to respond to all that in this moment. “I take it that you’re going to be back sometime in the future?”

“Afraid so,” He scratches the back of his head. “I need Bob to look at your pipes and make sure things are running smoothly. Oh, and I need to actually see where the rest of the wiring in the house is actually going. That’s a really interesting riddle.”

I sigh and eye the open dumbwaiter. This stuff is important if I want a properly working house and for it not to catch fire or get me electrocuted. But at the same time, I just want to see how Rarity is doing and remind her that it’s almost dark. Fuck, that ‘responsible’ part of me is nagging to inquire what the fuck else needs tending to.

“I would most likely assume that they go to the lights and outlets for different electronics,” I reply as Slide gives me a weird look. “What?”

He just blinks and pushes up his glasses before tracing a hoof on the ground. “Oh, nothing. It’s just that I’ve never met a pony with an understanding of electronics that didn’t have a corresponding cutie mark is all...” Ugh, this is getting weird.

“Yeah, I’m full of surprises. Look, not to be rude, but is there anything else that is vital that I need to know about? Switches that I shouldn’t touch, natural gas pipes that might give a horrible smell that I should be worried about? Anything that’s going to explode in my face if I turn it on?”

Slide looks thoughtful. “Nothing that I know of, but I should double check the blueprints just to be sure.” He raises a hoof. “Oh! The fireplace. While you can send letters, they might have a difficulty reaching places beyond the Canterlot range. That’s if you don’t get specialized cleaning. There was a great deal of magical soot residue up in the flume and it might need a special burning log to get any stray bits of anything out of there.”

Funny how most of that didn’t go over my head. “Good, when should I be expecting you back?”

“How does Wednesday morning sound to you?” He asks.

“I’m not really a morning individual,” I reply sighing. Dang, looks like I am going to need an alarm clock in the near future. “But I am sure I can swing that. Anyhow, thanks for coming out and have a safe trip home.”

“You too!” He replies with a smile that falls quickly off his face in a moment of social awkwardness. “I mean... Have a good night, not a safe trip home. Because, well you’re already home, I mean-”

I roll my eyes. I seriously hope that he’s just socially awkward and not doing this because of some weird crush thing. That would make things just ten times more uncomfortable. I don’t want to add threats to geld him as well. I’m just too tired for that right now.

“Have a good night,” I interject while walking to the dumbwaiter.

“Right! You too!” He replies as I hear the door close behind him. Ugh, that seemed to go on forever.

====================================================================

As Heartbreak left the kitchen, the girls’ fake smiles melted away and were replaced with disappointment and frustration.

“So,” Applebloom began tapping her hoof on the table at Scootaloo.

“Ugh! Every time I thought I was getting close? That fet-” Scootaloo bit her tongue in frustration. “-flipping tail kept flipping around! It’s like she knew that I was looking!”

“What’d ah tell ya?” Applebloom asked smirking. “Not so easy a task for the ninja pony?”

“Would you stop already!” Scootaloo replied in a loud whisper.

“Ah’m just askin’” Applebloom said sheepishly before munching down on a bit of a leftover carrot.

“Well, just don’t! I never thought that looking at a cutie mark would be so hard!” Scootaloo exclaimed spitting the knife into the kitchen sink. “And what’s worse? We’re running out of time!”

“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle looked out of the window that was over the sink. Shades of dusk were started to paint the barren trees with orange and yellow hues. “Oh. We could try again tomorrow, right?”

“Not without her catchin’ on ta what we’re doin’ there, Sweetie Belle. Ya saw the way that she was lookin’ at Scoots? She’s got ta be figurin’ somethin’s up!” Applebloom replied getting up from the table and going to the cupboard.

Scootaloo blinked and a smile crept up on her face. “Maybe we should spend the night here!” The two fillies looked at her questioningly. “Just think about it! With H.B. asleep? Her tail won’t be flipping around and we can finally get a good look at that stupid cutie mark!”

“That does make some sense,” Applebloom replied tapping on her chin. “But Ah thought she said that she didn’t have any control over it, or am Ah rememberin’ wrong?”

“She might have said something like that. But still!” Scootaloo scratched her head. “Even if she doesn’t have control, she’ll be asleep and her tail will be all-” the filly waggled her hooves above her head in frustration. “-non-flippy!”

“Ah, while Applejack knows that ah’m with Rarity and ya all, Ah’m not sure how’d she feel about me spendin’ the night here. She might be ok with it. Ah’d still have to get over ta the farm early ta do mah chores...” Applebloom said placing the bag of chocolate on the table.

“Are you kidding me?” Sweetie Belle replied apprehensively. “No offense to H.B., but this place is still a wreck. Rarity was reluctant just coming here, getting her to spend the night? I’m not sure even I can get her to do that!”

“You’ll have to!” Scootaloo said putting her hooves on Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. “It’ll require bringing out the big guns! But- ” She looked deeply into her friends’ eyes. “I believe you can do it!”

“Don’t ya think yer going a little overboard there, Scootaloo?” Applebloom asked pulling a bar of the wonderful smelling treat out. “Ah mean do we have ta do this while she’s asleep? Maybe... Maybe we ought'ta just give up...”

“Weren’t you the one that wanted to get a good look at this thing in the first place, Applebloom?” Scootaloo asked frowning. “Now you want to back out? What about making sure we don’t get a bad mark?”

“Ah know, an’ ah guess yer idea could work,” Applebloom started as she reclosed the bag. “but now it just feels a bit...”

“Wrong?” Sweetie Belle finished looking at her friends.

“Wrong? We’ll sneak in, take a good look and then sneak back out!” Scootaloo explained animatedly. "She won't even know that we were there!"

“Ah don’t know...” Applebloom frowned, tapping her hoof on the table..

“Oh come on! In and out like that!” Scootaloo exclaimed slamming her hoof on the chocolate bar, causing it to divide into three almost equal pieces. “We’re just going to take a look at somepony’s cutie mark while they sleep. What’s the worst that can happen?”

=====================================================================

Rarity hummed a small merry tune as she sewed the fibers of the overwear together. She eyed the strange sewing machine. It didn’t have the normal hoof operated crank that was used to operate normal sewing machines. Instead, it had one of the cords that attached to the wall, no doubt to those strange batteries that were kept locked away in the basement. She shook her head. Why H.B. would even want to hold on to such a strange bit of antiquated technology was beyond her.

“The fact that she even understands such things...” Rarity took a deep breath. “Then again Rarity? She comes from a different world. A world where-”

“Rafity! I brought you some ‘inner!” Were the words that jarred Rarity out of her thoughts.

The unicorn turned around with a completely baffled expression on her face. “Darling-” She paused as she saw Heartbreak awkwardly carrying a plate of food in her mouth. “-you didn’t have to bring me anything... I bought that food for you and the girls.” She shook her head and floated the plate from out of the very concerned looking mare’s mouth.

“You need food too, Rarity. You’ve been up here for hours.” Heartbreak said wiping her mouth from any saliva. “Have you even stopped for any breaks?”

Rarity grimaced for a moment looking at the underside of the plate. A bit of drool dripped from the bottom. Stealthily, she wiped it off with a rag before turning to smile at Heartbreak. “I’ve had one here or there but making overwear is a task that takes my full concentration!”

Heartbreak sighed. “I hope you don’t mind but I didn’t want to bring anything to drink, ‘cause... You know. Hooves.” She looked a bit disappointed. “That and I haven’t even tried attempting to balance anything on my head or...” She tapped her face with her hoof. “Muzzle.”

“H.B. darling, you could have just called me down there to join you all for supper,” Rarity said smiling.

“I did, repeatedly.” Heartbreak replied awkwardly. “I figured that you didn't hear me and were busy getting wrapped up in your work. Besides,” She paused. “It was just something that I wanted to do on my own, Rarity. You know, actually face a problem and solve it for myself. I know it seems stupid, but I...need to do somethings on my own and not let others solve them for me.”

“It just seems like an awful lot of work, Darling. I mean-” Rarity began.

“I just don’t want others to be constantly solving my problems for me, Rarity,” Heartbreak’s voice seemed be threatening on a shout.

“Alright...” Rarity eyed the plate of vegetables. “Is there something troubling you?”

Heartbreak kicked her hoof. “I don’t know. Maybe. There’s been a great number of things that have been troubling me about this situation. I guess. Parts of it just don’t feel right.”

Rarity blinked. Was she actually opening up about something? The last few times that this happened were false starts. Cautiously she chose her words. “And what parts would those be?”

“Well,” Heartbreak leaned against the door frame. “I was actually hoping that I would actually have projects to work on here. But if the construction crew takes care of them all for me?”

“Darling, that’s what they are being paid for-” Rarity began.

“And that’s another thing I'm concerned about! Where that money came from!” Heartbreak shook her head. “I mean, yeah great! I have money to support myself. But then what’s the point of me looking for work?!” She shook her head. “I’m even reluctant in letting the girls help me paint the house.”

Rarity frowned in confusion. “Darling, we’re just all trying to help you acclimate to life in Equestria. The surprise money is questionable to be sure, but you can’t just keep turning down any and all help being offered to you.”

Heartbreak tapped her head on the door frame. “I just don’t want to be a sue who can’t take care of their own problems without somep-p-pony else coming in and fixing it for me.”

The unicorn blinked and turned around. “Darling, you keep bringing up this term, ‘Sue,’ or ‘Mary Sue.’ I’m afraid that I am as familiar with it as much as I am with that elastic-trickery you and Slide Ruler were going on about.”

Heartbreak’s face went from frustrated to deadpanned in but a few moments. “First off: It’s electricity, not ‘elastic-trickery’, and it’s not too hard of a concept to understand if you take a little time to learn the basics.”

Rarity floated a carrot stick up and munched into it, swallowing before she responded. “And how does this relate to the whole ‘Sue’ thing?”

“It doesn’t relate in the slightest,” Heartbreak rubbed her temple before letting out a bit of a chuckle. “A ‘Mary Sue,’ or ‘Gary Stu,’ is a character in a story, who always gets their way, never has to work for anything,” She looked at the door frame and noted that there were a series of small notches carved with names and ages. She traced her hoof up and silently read each one. “If a problem comes their way? They just shrug it off and say, ‘Problem? What problem? My rich benefactor will take care of it.’ or ‘I don’t have to deal with consequences because hey! I’m a foreigner and the rules don’t apply to me!’”

Rarity blinked. “Darling... I mean, H.B. I’m still dreadfully confused here. How is having others help you or solutions to problems that you have a bad thing?”

“Because then I’m not prompted to grow, to do things, to... I don’t know!” Heartbreak slid down the door frame and laid down. “Maybe I’m just confused at the moment about things going, ‘my way.’”

“I’m more confused about why you think that some sort of story cliché somehow applies to your life,” Rarity replied taking a bite of a celery stick.

Heartbreak looked up and bit her lip before answering. “It’s just... Ugh... How do I explain this... I don’t want to be that type of individual who has to have some others come and help me every time some little problem comes my way.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I still am not sure how that makes you a ‘sue.’ And despite the fact that you’ve explained what you think a sue is, I’m still not sure I understand what it is.”

“Well, there’s a Sue for every situation really. The god sue, the smart sue, the general sue, the... ugh...” Heartbreak took a deep breath. “Right... You still read romance novels right?”

Rarity blushed a little and swallowed her food. “From time to time... Why? Did you want to borrow a few?”

“No,” Heartbreak’s voice replied in a growl. “And that’s not the reason I’m bringing this up. You know the mare who pretty much has no....” She paused and tried to think of a word. “Substance to them. Who comes out of nowhere, who we learn nothing about, other than they are all sad and mopey due to the fact that they just moved somewhere-” Heartbreak stopped herself and put a hoof up in a preemptive measure. “And if you even say that I am describing what happened to me, so help me-”

“Perish the thought!” Rarity batted her eyes and waved a hoof. “It hadn’t even crossed my mind! Besides, what you just described isn’t at all like you.” Heartbreak raised an eyebrow. “You have an actual personality.” An apple slice floated up into the air and Rarity delicately munched it down. “Granted that it isn’t one that everypony is going to like.”

“Gee. Thanks,” Heartbreak retorted snorting.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, darling,” Rarity bit her lower lip hoping that she hadn’t just said something that would bring the conversation they were somewhat enjoying to a screeching halt. “But you are a bit... Gruff...”

“Not everyp-p-pony thinks that, Rarity...” Heartbreak replied.

“That’s true,” Rarity smiled. “I must say that you do seem to have quite the charm when it comes to colts and fillies.” She paused and held up a hoof. “Which reminds me! Fluttershy told me to tell you that the Summer Reading Group was concerned about your whereabouts and was really hoping that you could come back.”

Heartbreak grimaced. “I’m not terribly sure that’s a good idea. Not with what happened last time.”

“Well... They already know to keep away from your...” Rarity coughed. “Scars.”

Heartbreak leaned her head back. “It makes me all the unnerved knowing what just-”

“What is-” Rarity began only to have Heartbreak hold up a hoof. The quiet creaking and hoof steps came clattering up the stairs. She gave the unicorn a quiet, but understanding look.

“So, like I was saying, Rarity,” Heartbreak began in a slightly elevated voice. “You really shouldn’t have turned the sewing machine on without having it checked out by somep-p-pony that knows what they are doing. It made a terrible stink that the girls could smell.” She turned her head around just in time for the three fillies to reach the top of the stairs. “Oh hi, girls! How are you doing?”

“We’re doing just fine, H.B. We just came upstairs to say that we had a lot of fun, even if we didn’t get to do any repairs on your house.”

“Uhm, that’s really sweet of you to say girls...” Heartbreak said her voice choking a bit.

Scootaloo nodded before pointing a hoof at the large heart-shaped window behind her. “Though we’re wondering when we’re going to be going home? It is kind of getting late and the sun is starting to set.”

Rarity jumped up in surprise before looking at the clock. “Oh my! Is it already almost seven-thirty?!” She sighed. “I was hoping to get at least another two pairs of overwear done before nightfall... I’m terribly sorry, H.B.”

Heartbreak chuckled. “It’s alright, Rarity. I mean tomorrow is just a day away, right?”

“It most certainly is,” Rarity replied smiling. She turned her head to the various materials and tools she had brought with her and they began to levitate in the air. “Well then, while there is a little light left, I suppose we should get a move on!”

“Uhm, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said looking at her friends before giving her sister a slight subtle cute look.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle?” Rarity asked putting needles and fabrics into her saddle bags.

“About that...” Sweetie Belle tapped her sister’s shoulder. “We were wondering if it could be possible if we could all stay the night here instead of going home?”

The pins, cloth and other various sewing tools that had been delicately floating in the air, suddenly dropped to match her expression. The frazzled unicorn paused her packing and looked at her sister.

“Stay...” She blinked and looked aghast. “Here?” Rarity’s left hoof lifted up near her mouth. “I’m not terribly sure that would be a good idea, Sweetie Belle...”

“But!” Sweetie Belle started as she pulled out her level one cute face. Hopefully she didn’t have to go all the way to level five! The strain alone would have the muscles in her face sore for a week!

“Sweetie Belle,” Rarity started giving her sister a soft smile. “It’s just that the house isn’t quite finished. There are terrible drafts, horrible amounts of dust, and Celestia knows what creatures are living in the walls!” She countered Sweetie Belle’s cute face by batting her eyelashes. “Besides, wouldn’t you like to sleep in your own nice warm bed tonight? You can even have your friends over if you like! I’m sure mother and father would be alright with that...” The girls gave each other a silent signal. Sweetie Belle would have to step up the game if they wanted to see that mark.

“What about H.B.?” Sweetie Belle protested pushing her cute face to level five. “If we leave, she’ll be all alone!”

=====================================================================

The weight of those seven words starts to sink in as the light in the room begins to grow dimmer and dimmer.

‘If we leave, she’ll be all alone!’

I hate to repeat that to myself, but I can’t help it. The sentence is echoing around in my head and reinforcing some of the thoughts I had earlier about being isolated.

If Rarity and the girls leave for the night? This will be the first time that I have actually been alone for the first time ever since I got to Equestria! There’s not going to be any Twilight in her study trying her best to quietly keep the pages of her books from making noise. No Spike who I can yell to get me a glass of water in the middle of the night!

It would be just me. Well, just me and any animals crawling around in my house and anything living out there in the Everfree Forest. Not to mention the snapdragons out front... but I really doubt those things would really want to come into my house in the middle of the night and get me a glass of water, or assist me if something terrible were to happen, even if I said please.

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be fine! After all, she’s been wanting to have a little time to herself. Isn’t that right, darling?” Rarity’s voice catches my attention and I am snapped out of my thoughts. “H.B.? Is there something wrong?”

“No... It’s just...” Come on, tell her what you’re thinking already! Remember last month with Applejack? Be honest with yourself! “The girls bring up a good point. If you all go home, then I’ll be out here... alone. And I’m not sure I like that idea...” I kick my hoof on the ground.

Rarity’s eyes flutter a bit. “H.B., whatever are you suggesting?”

Damn it, Rarity. Are you trying to get me to say this? Really? What’s your game here?!

“What I am saying is that I agree with the girls about this,” I give her a pleading look. “Could you all please stay over for the night?”

Author's Note

I know the chapter has been a long time coming,

-But-

Things are finally coming to a close in this story. Three more chapters. Which is 45 chapters. Which is exactly how many we had in the Last story.
If you have any spelling or grammar errors you'd like to point out? You're welcome to do so. Otherwise, I thank my editor/proofreader/andprereader team!

A Mark By Anyother Name

Chapter 43

A Mark by Any Other Name

"I-" Rarity felt taken back by this sudden turn of events. From the argument that caused Twilight to nearly snap, to the trip to Whinneapolis, and even the return back to Ponyville, Heartbreak had practically been pushing any and all ponies she'd met away from her. "Just when I thought there was a pattern... She goes and breaks the chain."

"Please, Rarity," she began, looking at the door frame. "I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to be alone for the first night here." Heartbreak looked up. "After all, what if something happens? What if some of the floor boards aren't as sturdy as the construction team thinks they are? Or something else that I didn’t think of?"

Rarity fidgeted at the prospect of all this. She had already made her concerns known about the state of this house. "If you're that worried about it, you could always stay at my house..."

Heartbreak bit her lip. "That would still involve all of us walking near the Everfree Forest and going all the way back to your place."

"Darling..." Rarity gave the concerned pony a look. "Are you saying that you think I can't take care of myself?"

"No..." Heartbreak replied, still looking away. "I know you can take care of yourself. You're a very capable unicorn with a plethora of magic at her disposal, but the girls would be going with you and sometimes things can happen. I would feel at fault if something were to happen to all of you when I could have done something to prevent that."

Rarity frowned. Heartbreak's words seemed to flow out slowly as if they were made of molasses. As if she had to force herself to actually admit to the idea that she could need some form of help. "Honestly! She’s almost as bad as Applejack! It would be just so much easier if she said she wanted assistance, instead of dancing around the issue! I mean really, I-"

"Please, Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked, fluttering her eyes up at her sister while suddenly leaning against her.

"Ya could let Applejack know that ya were lookin' after me!" Applebloom exclaimed, joining her friend.

Scootaloo swallowed a bit, and attempted to replicate the cute faces of her friends. Sadly, this only resulted in a slightly creepy and pathetic looking appearance. "It'd be really fun!" she said through clenched teeth.

"Girls..." Rarity began with a nervous giggle.

"Please, Rarity?" Heartbreak muttered quietly, still looking towards the floor. "It would mean the world to me if you did..."

"Oh, very well." Rarity shook her head and looked away. "I suppose we can spend the night here, however, there is still the matter of sleeping arrangements.”

"Sleeping arrangements are easy enough to sort out," Heartbreak said, running her hoof along the doorframe again. "I'll sleep in this room, the girls can sleep in the room that we cleaned up, and there's a guest room downstairs that you can have.”

“There are those dreadful noises arising from the Everfree Forest..."

“If the sounds of the country are too much of a bother..." A small smile crept up on Heartbreak's face. "I'm sure you can make some earmuffs or something like that."

=====================================================================

I feel a lot more at ease knowing that there will be someone or in this case; somepony in this house with me. At least for tonight. I might be more comfortable with being alone in my house when a) I have a better understanding of how this place is all laid out, and b) how the fuck that magical fireplace works.

I’m glad that Rarity didn’t put up too much of a fight about staying here. I’m sure she was just as surprised as I was about me asking.

While the girls were getting ready for bed by brushing their teeth, Rarity sent out letters to let the others know that the girls wanted to stay over at my place for the night and that she’d be watching them. After that? She went to the room that I had offered her to sleep in.

I could see her cringing and holding back so many squeals of terror at the dusty, musty, cobweb ridden mess. I did my best not to chuckle and she then took a deep breath and started doing what she does best next to dressmaking: reorganizing things to look presentable. Yeah, sure, that’s Twilight’s gig most of the time. But you have to admit that Rarity can be a bit of a neat freak too.

When it comes to others things that is.

I left her to do whatever and lead the girls to where they were going to be sleeping for the night. Strangely enough? They’ve just hopped onto the bed with no trouble or arguing and slipped under the covers. Shit, this was almost too easy! Too easy, that is, until their heads appear and hooves pop over the covers...

Fuck... Right now, at this moment, I don’t know whether to buy a camera, or rush to the bathroom so I can puke. Stop it, brain, I get it! Ponies are cute and fillies are adorable! Now stop fucking with me! I reach out for the lamp so that I can slip that little metal chain through my hoof-hole. “Alright girls, you three sleep well, and if you need anything, I’ll just be in the next room.” Fuck, I am getting out of here before I cave into that urge to hug them.

“H.B.?” Applebloom’s voice causes my hoof to pause in midair.

“Yes, Applebloom?”

“Could ya tell us a story?” She flutters her eyelashes while tilting her head. Gawds! Quick, counter maneuvers!

“Girls...” I begin. “I would like to... but I’m really tired. And there are like a million things to do tomorrow. Including making a list of it all...”

“But we haven’t gotten to hear one of your stories!” Scootaloo decries.

“Yeah! None of us were with the Summer Reading Group last week,” Sweetie Belle protests.

“An’ it seems really unfair,” Applebloom pouts. “Ah mean, Mars Orange gotta’ hear a whole bunch of them Danger Mare stories.”

“Alright! Alright! Eesh! Just stop with the faces already!” I hate myself for caving like this. But those faces! Seriously, the girls seem to be ramping up their cute factor. I haven’t a clue why, it’s not like I’ve denied them anything and it doesn’t seem like they’re up to anything. Even if they were, what the hell would it be? There’s nothing to get into around here! I mean, unless you count all the boxes and junk or the basement that I told them not to go into... Nah.

Sighing, I look around. There aren’t any books on the shelves that I feel comfortable reading by the low lamp light. Alright H.B., looks like you’re going to have make something up. But what to-

Oh... That might be a good idea. I look at the fillies with a slight smile on my face.

“Are you sure you three want a story from me?” I ask. “After all, I’m not called ‘Heartbreak’ for nothing. Some of the stories I tell are pretty dark... or pretty sad.”

“Ha!” Scootaloo says, jumping up. “I’ve heard Rainbow Dash’s stories, we could totally handle whatever you throw at us!”

“As long as it isn’t too dark,” Sweetie Belle adds, pulling the covers up a bit.

Darn. Well, if Disney can lighten up most of Grimm’s Faerie Tales? So can I.

“Alright, you three, if you think you can sleep after hearing this yarn? I’ll tell it.” Alright, names, names we need to change the names. Make it more pony friendly and... yeah... I can do this. Sure, the names themselves aren’t original, but I’m going to have a little fun with this. Heh, I doubt that the girls will figure out my little ‘inside joke’ going on in the story though. But who cares? It’ll be fun for me.

I sit down next to the bed and make myself a bit more comfortable.

“This is a story based on a story that I heard when I was young, not much older than you three, in fact...” Alright, that sounded corny as all get out, but doing a story on short notice? Not. Easy. And with what I’m working with? It’s not going to be great... But it’ll do. “It’s called ‘Skeeterroll Learns to Shiver’.”

“Once upon a time, there was a little dark orange coated colt with a short, spiky purple mane and tail named ‘Skeeterroll’.”

“What colour were his eyes?” Applebloom asks, raising her hoof.

“A dark purply colour,” I reply. Maybe I should have made Skeeterroll’s coat an inverse of Scootaloo’s. I haven’t a fetting clue what those shades of blue would be called though. “So-”

“Did he have his cutie mark yet?” Scootaloo asks, also raising her hoof.

“Uhm, no. No he didn’t,” I reply.

Sweetie Belle raises her hoof. “What’s a ‘skeeter’?”

“Do you three want a bedtime story or not?” Alright, now I can practically feel the irritation coming out of my face. I attempt to massage that irritation away with a hoof to my forehead. Come on, H.B. Let’s not explode at the fillies...

“Sorry... I was just wondering. It’s weird sounding.” Sweetie Belle’s hoof lowers and she gives me a sheepish look. “Uhm, can you continue, please?” she asks, with a wide apologetic smile.

“Alright, just no more interruptions please.” I eye the three, knowing I’ve just asked the impossible. “Skeeterroll was a brash, bold and daring sort who wouldn’t let the threat of danger get in his way when it came down to doing things. He and his fffriends would go on many adventures together, play lots of sports and sometimes show off in front of fillies. Though much to the chagrin of his fffriends, they would land quite often directly in the seat of trouble! So often did this happen, that Skeeter had been given the nickname of ‘the colt that doesn’t shiver!’

“Now most of the time, Skeeter didn’t think anything of this. After all, if other p-p-ponies thought him to be brave, who was he to complain? But there was one time that it actually was a problem.

“You see, his hero, mentor, idol and adoptive older brother, who we will call ‘Blitz’, was trying out for a daring, death defying, acrobatic stunts competition! Alongside Blitz were many pegasi and even a few griffins!

“Skeeterroll had been waiting all week to see this competition go on, not realizing that there were some strict rules for attendees and that the... uhm... Safety officers! Yup. Safety officers were going to enforcing these rules rather heavily. So, you can imagine his surprise when one of those officers told him he couldn’t attend!

“‘What do you mean, I can’t attend?’ Skeeterroll asked with a disappointed groan.”

Huh, that was actually a pretty good little boy voice. I guess it’s true. Women, or in my case, mares can pull off young boys pretty well. Right, back to the story!

=====================================================================

“Just that, you can’t attend! You’re too young, and there are going to be some rather dangerous stunts being pulled here." The officer replied. "I’m Mr. Graveneigh! An actual qualified officer! And for such events with such dangerous stunts being performed, we need to set age restrictions and proper rules! Just who are you, thinking that you can get in against the rules, young colt?"

"I’m Skeeterroll and I-"

"Skeeterroll! Oh, I’ve heard about you! ‘The colt that doesn’t shiver!’" The officer said, frowning.

"That’s me! And I-"

"Have no business being at a dangerous event like this one!" Mr. Graveneigh exclaimed, before he ‘humphed!’

"But!"

"But nothing! If a pony doesn’t know how to shiver, then they don’t know what hazards could be right in front of their eyes! And I can’t have a little colt like that attending an event like this!"

=====================================================================

“Wow! What a jerk!” Scootaloo shouts, frowning and crossing her hooves.

“He’s just looking out for the safety of the audience,” I reply, shrugging my shoulders.

“Still, he doesn’t have to be a jerk about it!” Scootaloo protests.

“You want the story or not?” I ask. I get silence as my response. “Ok then.”

“Dismayed about the whole situation, Skeeterroll decided to do what all p-ponies in his situation do-”

“What’s that?” Scootaloo interrupts, and bounds out from under the covers excitedly. “Sneak in without anypony seeing? Buy tickets off another pony? Fly above the show and watch on a cloud?!”

“Nooo,” I cough and roll my eyes. “He went to his fffriends for help.”

“Oh...” the little orange filly replies, rubbing the back of her head and returning to her place under the well worn family style quilt.

I take a deep breath and continue on with the story in my head. Getting this thing out isn’t easy. Not with these three asking questions, anyway.

“So, Skeeter went to his fffriend Silver Bell to see if he had any ideas about how he could learn to shiver. Silver Bell was kinda busy at the time, helping his brother Elusive, the tailor. Elusive was a very elegant stallion, who was known for making the finest suits in all the land, though he could be a bit picky... and sometimes a bit snooty... and felt that everyp-p-pony had to wear one of his suits and felt that he was always right about things and if anyp-p-pony said anything contrary to his sense of style, they had to be wrong!” The girls blink at me. “Heh... Let’s just say that Elusive was rather... persnickety and leave it at that...” I close my eyes and rebuild the image of where I want this story to go.

=====================================================================

“Skeeterroll explained to Silver Bell everything that he had gone through with Mr. Graveneigh, and how it was just totally unfair! After all, it wasn’t his fault that he was so brave that he didn’t know how to shiver!

Elusive, not wanting to make his brother think that he was neglecting his him, decided to interject his two bits. "I don’t know about you, but what made me shiver when I was your age? The stories about a nasty creature called ‘The Grundle.’"

"The Grundle?" Skeeterroll asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Isn’t that like an old pony’s tale about some weird monster that foalnaps colts and fillies?"

Elusive shuddered. "The modern stories about the Grundle are so watered down. Nowadays he just kidnaps ponies and throws them in the dungeon for a few hours until they're rescued. When I was a colt he used to do much worse things to them! And you do not want to go there! Stay away from Overgrown Hedge," He looked at the both of them in a serious brotherly manner. "Both of you!"

Silver Bell only rolled his eyes at this brothers’ theatrics, before catching a surprise load of fabric.

"To this day!" Elusive continued "If there is anything that can teach a pony to shiver, it’s the Grundle!"

Skeeterroll tapped his chin and looked thoughtful before excusing himself. -”

=====================================================================

“Let me guess, he decided then an’ there ta go out in the middle of the night an’ go see the Grundle about how ta learn how ta shiver.” Applebloom interrupted, while rolling her eyes.

Heartbreak blinked before narrowing her eyes at the little filly. She chewed on her lip and contemplated what she could say. Exhaustion and the call of the nice comfortable bed in the other room persuaded her not to say or do anything that could be seen as passive-aggressive.

“Remember your audience here, H.B. You can have fun with the story but let’s not do too many jabs. Besides, any real pressure you have with Rarity ought to be talked out with Rarity and not in bedtime stories with these three! Alright? Alright! Now! Back to the story!”

“That he did!” Heartbreak replied, attempting to fake enthusiasm.

Scootaloo looked over at Applebloom. “How did you guess that?”

“Heh,” Applebloom smirked and tapped her chin. “It just seemed like somethin’ that ‘Skeeterroll’ would do. Right, H.B.?”

“Maybe...” Heartbreak replied, coughing. “But... If you’ve figured a few things about this story, A.B.? I can call you A.B., right?”

The filly shrugged and nodded. “If ya want ta.”

“Yay...” Heartbreak replied. “Mind keeping them to yourself? Nop-p-pony likes spoilers.”

Applebloom’s ears drooped a little and she let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry, H.B.”

“And so, just like A.B. here alluded to? Skeeterroll snuck out of his home in the middle of the night to far beyond the town limits to see if he could find the entrance to the Grundle’s dungeon among the Overgrown Hedge.

An hour of dodging thorns and prickles went by. For some reason or another there were few, if any truly dangerous creatures here. But when Skeeterroll found odd cobblestone rocks that paved the ground, he knew he found paydirt... so to speak.

‘Alright, here are the ruins!’ He said out loud, trying to survey the landscape. ‘Now where’s that entrance?’

Suddenly... The stones that he had landed upon gave way, and it turned out that he was standing on the entrance to Grundle's dungeon lair!' Ordinarily, he could totally get out of a situation like this! However, in the confusion and chaos with rocks falling all around him, he managed to get himself knocked out!”

Heartbreak smiled a strange smile as the three little fillies were cringing and almost huddling together. “Ha! That got their attention. Damn it, H.B. Calm this story down! You don’t want to give them nightmares!”

“He didn’t...” Scootaloo swallowed.

“What? No! This is Skeeterroll! He didn’t know how long he was out, but when he woke up he found himself in darkness. So he rummaged through his saddlebags and found his matches and a trusty lamp. After lighting his lamp, he found himself in a rather dull, if not sinister looking room.

The ancient looking room was made of large rectangular grey stones, much like the ones you see in any castle ruin. The roof looked like it was being held up by old heavy wooden beams, that - despite their age - were in pretty decent shape. And it was like any other dungeon-like place: the floor was damp and muddy, water fell from the ceiling and formed a small pool near what looked like a crumbling hearth place and there was an unsettling rotted, musky smell coming from everywhere.

Just as he was getting his bearings, he heard a noise coming from the chimney to the hearth place. It was a terrible hollering noise, as if somepony was coming down the chimney!

Skeeterroll watched as something hit the bottom of the hearth. He quickly hid, but then he heard a dull ‘tunk! tunk!’ noise. And when he peered over, what he saw confused him.
It looked like…”

=====================================================================

“A bowling pin?” he asked in a hushed tone. Part of him wanted to laugh. He was hiding from a bowling pin? But the smarter part of told him that maybe this was no ordinary bowling pin. And that part of him was right! For as, the pin turned, Skeeterroll gasped to see that there was a face on this pink coloured pin!

Now, that in and of itself was frightening, but Skeeterroll didn’t find himself shivering. Not even a shudder racked his frame even when the pin was followed by a green, a black, and finally an orange one!

Imagine, if you will, all these odd looking bowling pins hopping around, wobbling about and trying to find their bearings? It wasn’t terrifying: if anything it was kind of funny...

But just as Skeeterroll was about to give a chuckle at all this: a voice came from the chimney!

“All of you get back here and get back here now!" the high, old, crotchety voice cried out. "The Grundle isn’t through with you yet!’

“The Grundle!" Skeeterroll whispered. Now was the chance he was waiting for! Now he would learn to shiver!

He waited and watched the hearth from where the Grundle’s voice had came. And then something strange happened.

Out from the hearth fell... a whole arm with little fingers on it. But there wasn't a body attached to it. Then fell another arm. This was followed by a leg with little toes on it and then, you guessed it! Another leg! This was followed by the funniest looking head falling into the pile of loose body parts. It was round with a pointy nose and even pointier ears! It had large green eyes and like the rest of the body that had fallen, grey skin!

The head bobbed up and down, practically shrieking! "Get back here! Grundle wants to play some more! The Grundle isn’t through with all of you yet, my pretties!"

And just when things couldn’t get any sillier? The Grundle’s torso fell down and clattered into the pile of parts!

“Grundle will get you!" The creature started to moan and groan. "Ooof! As soon as Grundle puts himself back together! You pins will see! Grundle will get you!”

Skeeterroll was now really trying hard not to laugh, but the Grundle wasn’t making that easy! Especially seeing that, when he walked out, he wasn’t quite all together right. His arms and head looked to be pointed in the right way, but his legs were on backwards. Not to mention that his straggly looking fur tipped tail was pointing the wrong way.

“Grundle will get you!" He screeched, lording over the cowering sad faced bowling pins. "Grundle will-”

Skeeterroll couldn’t take it anymore! Blowing his cover, he burst into fits of laughter! "S-s-stop! I can’t take any more!”

The Grundle plucked his head up and turned it all the way around. "A new pony!? Down here?! No new ponies have come to Grundle’s lair ever since ponies sealed off the entrance!"

Setting his head down on his shoulders, the Grundle started dancing and clapping. "Oh! Is happy day for Grundle! Now Grundle will have another bowling pin! And maybe more if there is a place Grundle can get out from!’

Now, Skeeterroll would have been worried that he had just unleashed some terrible evil that would terrorize the colts and fillies of Equestria, had it not been for the fact that now the Grundle seemed like such a lame villain!

“Wait, you turn ponies into...." He looked at the shivering pins. "Bowling pins?’

“Of course that is what Grundle does!" He said, jumping up and down in frustration. "What do ponies think Grundle does?!”

Skeeterroll continued to snicker. "I thought you foalnapped colts and fillies, and ate them.”

“Yuck! Ponies taste terrible! Much more fun to play with them!" The Grundle replied, making a face. "Just like pony will do right now!”

“What?”

“Pony will play with Grundle!”

Skeeterroll rolled his eyes and noticed the door behind him. "Yeah, not going to happen.’

The Grundle jumped in front of Skeeterroll and made a motion with his fingers. Suddenly, the stone door closed with a thunderous boom! "Doesn’t pony know anything about Grundle!? Pony must bowl with Grundle if pony wants to leave!”

“Bowl with you? That seems easy enough." He chuckled and smirked, getting out of this was but a bowling game away. But when Skeeterroll looked over at the bowling pins, a pang of guilt passed through him. After all, if he left, what would happen to these pony-pins that had been down here for only who knows how long?

“But!" The Grundle said, pulling out a bowling ball. "If pony loses against Grundle? Pony becomes one of Grundle’s new pins!’

“Piece of cake!" Skeeterroll crowed.

“Hehe, pony knows nothing about Grundle! Grundle never loses!" The Grundle rolled the bowling ball in his claws.. “Oh Grundle will teach you to shiver... Grundle will teach Ske-eter-roll to shiver!”

Skeeterroll blinked. “Wait, how do you know my name?”

The Grundle laughed. “Grundle knows all little ponies names! Does it not frighten little pony? Does it not cause him to shiver and shake?!”

“'Ha!" Skeeterroll laughed. "I am the colt who doesn’t shiver! And the best bowler that there is. I could even bowl standing on my head!'”

=====================================================================

Heartbreak looked at the three fillies as they were entranced by her story. She had to admit that there was something nice about this. Maybe it was the soft glow of the bedside light, or the way their cute little faces poked out from the covers. Or, maybe, it was the fact that she was terribly exhausted, and getting these three to sleep meant that she could finally go to sleep in her own nice warm bed.

“Yeah. I’m going with the last one,” she thought to herself as she continued the story.

=====================================================================

The Grundle, not wanting to be outdone by the little colt, shook his fist at him and clenched his teeth. “Oh yeah?!”

“Yeah!” Skeeterroll said, sitting up and crossing his hooves. “Not only that, but I could do it standing on my head, blindfolded, with my back turned, too!”

The Grundle was infuriated by the little colt’s boasting!

“Grundle can do even better than that!” the Grundle shouted. “He will make a strike, eyes closed, back turned and with his own head!”

“With your head?” Skeeterroll asked, confused. “And how the hay will you do that?”

“Don’t pony know anything!?” the Grundle exclaimed, pulling on the last scraggly bits of his hair.

“I’m not the one that says that he can make a strike with his head,” Skeeterroll replied, rolling his eyes.

“Oh! Grundle will show pony! He will show the pony that he is nothing but a simple minded little frugnickle-nack!” And with that, the Grundle pulled off his own head to use it as a bowling ball.

Skeeterroll twitched slightly, but he didn’t shiver! “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Stupid ponies, asking if it hurts!” the Grundle exclaimed, shaking his fist. “Of course it doesn’t hurt! All Grundle’s body parts are detachable! It doesn’t hurt in the slightest! Now! If pony doesn’t mind, Grundle has a strike to make, before adding him to his collection of pony-pins!”

The Grundle began to take careful aim before Skeeterroll coughed.

“Does pony mind!?” the Grundle gruffly said, glaring at him.

“Well, it’s just that you aren’t backwards,” Skeeterroll said. “And you said that you could make this shot backwards and with your eyes closed.”

“Oh. Right,” the Grundle said, turning around and closing his eyes. “Thanks!”

“Don’t. Mention. It.” Skeeterroll replied, stealthily sneaking up between the Grundle and the pony-pins.

“Alright! Don’t worry, pretty little pins! You’ll have a new friend joining you soon enough! A new friend that is a-” And just as the Grundle lifted his head to send it spinning into the pony-pins? Skeeterroll quickly stuck out his leg and tripped the garish creature causing him to fall and send his various body parts bouncing all over the place!

The Grundle’s head flew up into the rafters, his left arm was jammed into a crack in the wall, his right punched a weak part in another wall and became pinned under some rocks as it gave way. His legs hopped around and his torso flopped around like a fish!

“Stupid pony! Now look what you have done to Grundle! His parts are too far apart from his head! They don’t know what to do!” He screeched. The head tried to rock itself back and forth to dislodge itself from the ceiling. But after a few tries it found itself failing! “Ugh! Stupid pony! Fly up and get Grundle’s head down!”

“Why should I? You were going to turn me into a bowling pin!” Skeeterroll crossed his hooves. “Turn these pins back into ponies!”

“No! Pony will not get Grundle’s head down!”

“Do it, or I’ll... I’ll-” Skeeterroll stammered.

“Or pony will what? Pony is winged pony! No horn, no magic! What will pony do?” The Grundle asked while cackling.

Now, Skeeterroll wasn’t the brightest colt in his class, but he was far from dimwitted. He could be rather clever when the mood struck him. And with the Grundle’s torso flopping around and all that laughing that he was doing, an idea sprung into his head.

“Oh, you’ll turn them back alright!” Skeeterroll exclaimed, jumping onto the torso and plucking a few loose feathers from his wings. “Or else!”

“Or else what? Pony is no-” And suddenly the Grundle’s head started to cackle and burst into loud laughter! “Ahahahahahahaha! W-w-what is p-pony do-AHAHAHA! Doing?!” He looked down to see that Skeeterroll was using his own feathers to tickle and torment him! “S-s-stop it! Stop pony!”

“Not until you turn those ponies back!” Skeeterroll shouted through a mouthful of feathers.

“N-no-no! Grundle will not-Aahahahaha!!!” The Grundle gasped and his legs tried to hop over to the persistently pestering pony, only to find that the pony-pins that once cowered in fear of their tormentor were openly attacking his legs and keeping them away from Skeeterroll! “D-d-d-on’t! S-s-stop!”

“Don’t stop?” Skeeterroll asked, smirking at the pony pins who had come to his aid. “Let’s give him what he wants guys!” The attack on the Grundle was soon too much for the little gremlin to take!

“S-s-stop! Grundle’s magic can’t turn them back!”

Skeeterroll could have been depressed and given up at this point, but with the way the pony-pins came to his aid? He wasn’t going to let them down!

“Then what can turn them back?” He asked threatening the torso with further tickling.

The Grundle looked fearfully at the pony and his pin fffriends. He was about to turn his face in defiance but when Skeeterroll dragged the implements of his torture across the chest of the torso?

“The puddle!” The Grundle confessed! “Drop the pony-pins into the puddle! Just no more! P-p-p-pleeeeeeeeeeeeaszzzzze!”

Skeeterroll blinked and apologized to one of the pins before picking it up and dropping it into the nearby puddle. The pin went in, bobbed and out splashed a little pink pegasus filly!

“Free! I’m free! Free at last!” She shouted, flapping her wings and zipping around Skeeterroll before planting a big kiss on his cheek! “Oh thank you! Thank you!”

“Yeck!” Skeeterroll exclaimed.

“My fffriends!” She quickly flew over to the other pins, (along with the bowling ball) and dropped them into the puddle. And just like that? The Grundle found himself quickly outnumbered by dancing, singing colts and fillies.

“Humph! Ponies win! Good for ponies!” The Grundle’s head grumbled sourly. “Now will ponies get Grundle down!?”

The group of former pony-pins looked up at the Grundle. “Get you down? After you kept us as bowling pins for Celestia knows how long? And threw Lucky at us again and again?!’’

“What does pony want!?”

And just as the little pink filly was about to yell angrily, Skeeterroll put his hoof up.

“You have my word that ponies will get you down, Grundle, but you need to open the door out of this place and let all of us go,” Skeeterroll said, smiling widely and crossing his arms.

Suffice to say, the Grundle was now furious!

“No Deal! Ponies will stay! Ponies have nothing to bargain with!”

Skeeterroll grinned even wider as his five new fffriends popped up behind him, each brandishing a feather and grinning just as wide, if not wider than the little colt. “Oh, I think we have something to bargain with...”

“No! Grundle will open door and he... will... let... ponies go...” The head choked out. And with a wiggle of the Grundle’s nose and a waggle of his ears, the stone door opened up leading to the clean, fresh, beautiful moonlit outside.

Almost instantly, the five former-pony pins raced to the door and bounded outside to feel the grass under their hooves. A feeling that they had not felt in what must have surely been a lifetime.

Skeeterroll kept his eye on the Grundle’s head as he too walk out of the door.

“Wait!” The Grundle cried out. “Pony said that they would get Grundle’s head down! Skeet-er-roll gave his word!”

Skeeterroll waggled his hoof once on the other side. “I said ponies would get your head down and ponies will get your head down. I’m sure that I can find a pretty powerful unicorn to help Grundle out with his problem. Just try not to …” He snickered. “lose your head while I’m getting that help.”

And at the terrible, almost forced pun, Skeeterroll left the Grundle screaming.

=====================================================================

Applebloom groans, but chuckles at what I did. “He didn’t really say that, did he?”

“It’s a bedtime story, A.B. There needs to be at least one horrible pun in all of it,” I reply rubbing my throat. Ugh, doing the grundle’s voice has made my voice sore. I’m going to be horse tomorrow... Shut up brain. I know I’m going to be ‘horse’ the day after that and the day after that. Just finish with this stupid story.

“I hate to interrupt,” Sweetie Belle raises her hoof. “Because I do like this story, but what does this have to do with Skeeterroll learning how to shiver and getting those tickets?”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo blinks. “For a second, I forgot that’s where this all started... I mean, it doesn’t seem like he learned to shiver at all and the Grundle was a pretty lame bad guy. Did Skeeterroll learn to shiver at all?”

“I was just getting to that,” I reply raising my hoof. “No, no he didn’t. Like you three pointed out, it seemed like he was even more the ‘colt who doesn’t shiver!’ than ever. And after stopping by his friend Dusk Shine’s house to tell him about the Grundle and the five colts and fillies he had just saved, he was really depressed about not learning to shiver after all that danger-”

=====================================================================

Turning his head, Skeeterroll’s eyes were pained by the first rays of the sun as it rose over the mountains. Had he spent the entire night in those ruins?

“Ugh!” Skeeterroll shouted, kicking a nearby rock. “Great, after all that, I still didn’t learn anything about shivering! Now how I am I going to get tickets to the daring, death defying, acrobatic stunts competition?!” Just then, a whooshing sound came from overhead and who should appear? But his idol and best friend! “Blitz!”

“There you are squirt! Dusk said that you had quite the adventure!” The dusty blue stallion said landing in front of Skeeterroll. “Went to some ruins that you were told not to?”

Skeeterroll’s excitement was replaced with a bit of shame as his hero gave him a bit of a dissapointed look. “Yeeeeah,” he finally admitted, rubbing his ankle. “But it was only so that I could learn to shiver, because Mr. Graveneigh said that he couldn’t have some colt that didn’t know what fear and shivering were at such a dangerous event! He’s such a doofus!”

Blitz rubbed his forehead and then sighed. “Well squirt, I’m afraid I have to agree with the doofus... If you don’t know what danger is, it might be best that you don’t get to attend...”

“What?!” For the first time, fear truly gripped Skeeterrroll. Here was his mentor, telling him that he didn’t want him to watch as he perform his awesome high flying stunts! “All because I went to face the Grundle?! The Grundle was a pushover!”

“Maybe, but it was dangerous to go do it alone,” Blitz replied giving Skeeterroll a stern look. “And you went and done it alone. You could have gotten seriously hurt, falling rocks and nop-pony to help you out? What where you thinking?!”

Skeeterroll started to stammer and stutter for an apology, or something that would make this better. He was so afraid that he had let his hero down that it sent a shudder through his core... Just then...

“Splooosh!” Skeeterroll found himself drenched to the bone before an icy blast assaulted him! He jumped in fright over how cold it was all of a sudden!

“Gah! What the hay!? W-w-what’s going on?! It’s so c-c-c-cold! I have to g-g-get s-s-somew-w-where warm before I c-c-catch pneumonia, oh I am s-s-shivering so!” Skeeterroll cried out, rubbing his hooves up and down his chest and flapping his wings as fast as he could to get the icy cold water out of them.

“See? What did I tell you?” Blitz's ruff, tough and generally awesome sounding voice crowed! Turning around, Skeeterroll saw Mr. Graveneigh step out of a bush that was next to Blitz. “He can shiver!”

Mr. Graveneigh looked rather... shall we say, at odds with himself and a bit embarrassed about something. “So he can.”

“Which means that he can attend the show!” Blitz demanded holding out his hoof. “So, I think it’s time to fork over those tickets!”

Reluctantly, Mr Graveneigh placed three tickets on Blitz’s hoof. “Fine. But let us never speak of this again.” he said turning and walking away gruffly.

“What’s g-g-going on?” Skeeterroll asked still shivering. Just then, his fffriends popped out from behind Blitz and trotted over to him.

“Well, while you were spending the night hanging out in scary and strange places,” Silver Bell said, throwing a dry fluffy towel around the chilled and confused pegasus to help him dry off.

“We were off doin’ the sensible thing, an talkin’ ta Blitz and Mr Graveneigh!” Bud explained, ruffling the towel over Skeeterroll’s mane.

“Hey! I can dry myself off!” Skeeter cried out waggling his hooves and pushing his friend away.

“We made a bet with Mr. Graveneigh here, that if we could get you to shiver? He’d buy us all tickets to the show,” Silver Bell explained. “Of course we could have also explained to his boss that he was being a jerk to little colts...”

Blitz playfully punched Skeeterroll in the shoulder. “Didn’t mean to put you through the ringer there, squirt. But we had to make it seem as believable as possible. No hard feelings right?”

“I get to see you perform death defying stunts?!” Skeeterroll shouted. “Of course not!”

“An we get ta do it-” Bud and Silver glomped their friend in a brotherly embrace. “-tagether!”

“Aaaah! Stop hugging me!” Skeeterroll protested, embarrassed at the display of emotion.

“We all know you’re brave there, Skeets,” Blitz interjected. “Your fffriends are just letting you know that they’ll be there for you when you need them.” The dusty blue stallion ruffled his brother’s mane. “Now, how about I treat you three to McHays? They should be still serving breakfast!”

The three little colts all cheered at that idea.

=====================================================================

I look at the entranced little fillies. Their eyes are growing heavy with the sleep that is soon to overcome them and they yawn widely. Good. I take a deep breath and utter the words that every story should finish with.

“The end.”

“That was a pretty good story there, H.B.,” Scootaloo said.

“Even if it was kiiinda long,” Applebloom commented tapping her chin. I look over at the clock. Shit! Forty Minutes?!

“Yeaaaah, next time, if there is a next time? I’ll try to make it a bit shorter. Now,” I yawn widely hoping that my act will be contagious among these three. “H.B. is really exhausted. She would like to get some sleep before the chaos that’s going to happen tomorrow. So, goodnight girls, and sleep tight.” I slip the chain to the lamp through my hole in my hoof and click it off. A thought occurs to me. “Oh. Girls?”

“Yes, H.B.?” Applebloom asks, looking a bit... nervous? I’m not sure. I am wiped.

“Please stay out of the basement, I mean, I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you, but I-” They start to give me confused glances. “Right, never mind,” Ooop, big yawn. “Sleep tight.”

As I pull the door behind me, I get a nice warm feeling. It’s... stupid... I really shouldn’t be feeling that sort of thing. Should I? Does it mean that I am accepting this place? Does it mean that I am losing myself to Equestria? Damn it, shut up. I don’t want to be thinking about these things right now. I have other things to be concerned about. Like what Rarity is doing.

I turn the lights on next to the stairs. No reason to be stumbling around in the dark and falling down, when I walk backwards down the stupid things. Once at the first floor, I make my way to the guest bedroom.

“Rarity?” I ask out loud right outside the door. No answer. I push it open and see that she has already made herself at home in the rather cozy looking bed. She must have found some extra fabrics laying around, because her ears and eyes are adorned with some simple looking muffs and whatever the mask that she wears to cover her eyes is called. I’ll ask her in the morning. Looking around, I am pleased to see that the room is neat and orderly.

“One less thing I have to worry about. I’ll look through what the contents of this room are and if they are any use to me some time tomorrow.” I pull my head out of the room slowly before creeping back upstairs and turning off the lights.

I don’t even think about looking at the bed right now. All I know is that I want to be in it. I don’t care what the blanket looks like, I don’t care how well the room is lit. All I care about is that sweet sensation that I am experiencing the moment my head hits the pillow and my body slips under the sheets.

Which is right about now.

=====================================================================

`Twasss brillig, and the ssslithy tovesss

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsssy were the borogovesss,

And the mome rathsss outgrabe.

I wake to the sound of dripping water and the smell of a musky dungeon with the words of Lewis Carrol’s Jabberwocky in my ears? What the hell? Opening my eyes, the fuzzy images around me start to take form. I appear to be in a jail cell of sorts, the cold stone ground is pressed against my face and across from me appears to be another cell.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my ssson!

The jawsss that bite, the clawsss that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and ssshun

The frumiousss Bandersssnatch!"

The voice sounds vaguely like a young english boy... An english boy with a strange lisp. Pushing myself up off the ground and looking over to cage across from me? That’s exactly what I see: A young english boy in dirty street clothes that looks more like he belongs on the streets of colonial America rather than this scene.

“What’s... What’s going on? Where am I?” I feel my neck weighed down with something. Pushing my hoof against that something, I hear it clattering and clanging. It’s a chain. A heavy iron chain that leads out of my cell and into the one across from me.

“Oy!” An angry expression forms on the very human looking boy and I feel a sharp tug on the chain “It’sss quite rude to interrupt sssomeone when they’re reccciting poetry!”

Author's Note

Another cute chapter, I would like to thank my editors, proofreaders and prereaders in this one. Sorry it took so long. Real life issues bounding about here.
So, I can't post this chapter without giving a shout out to the author of 'On a Cross and Arrow' Conner Cogwork.
Blitz, Elusive, and Dusk Shine are all his names after all.
Though I have issues with some of the other fan names for the CMC. Scooterroll? Really? Skeeterroll is better! Apple Buck? Pfffft. Why be named after something you do everyday! A Bud comes before a Bloom! And Sweepy Bell.... eeeeeh. So Silver Bell.
It was also decided that a frugnickle-nack is a nicknack project that one starts, gets distracted from, it gets crushed after being sat on, it gets wet after soda is spilled on it, you are too embarrassed to toss it in the trash in fear of others seeing it, so you shove it somewhere in the attic and leave it for over a year only to come back to it when you are wondering what that strange smell is.

For those who can't see the picture in the story itself... http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/sabertooth1980/Chapter43AMarkByAnyOtherName2_zps694e90aa.jpg

Two more chapters! How will this ever wrap up!?

I Feel Like a Monster

Chapter 44

I Feel Like a Monster

“Ow! What the h-hay?” Heartbreak yelped as the pitted chain pulled her forward. Reaching up, her hooves tapped at it. The metallic clink produced made her aware of the collar with which she was now yoked. “Seriously, what the fffet is going on? Where am I?”

“Poniesss thessse daysss,” The boy shook his head, sighing and letting part of the chain in his hand dangle. “No apologiesss for interrupting my recital?” He was met only with a glaring frown.

“Not until I get an answer to what’s going on,” Heartbreak retorted.

“My, my, my. Aren’t we demanding?” The boy proceeded to play with his end of the chain like a toy. “What do you think isss going on?”

Heartbreak was silent for a moment. “I don’t know...”

The boy’s face broke open with a disturbingly wide grin. “Doesss that concccern you? Worry you?” He scooted up to the edge of his cage before grasping them in his hands. “Are you afraid?”

Heartbreak took a deep breath. “No,” she finally answered.

“Why not?” the boy asked. “You’re in a ssstrange place, chained to sssome sstranger and locked in a cage. If I were you? I would be very concccerned.”

“Let’s just say that it’s been four months since I was turned in...to...” She paused and shook her head. “Why am I telling you this?”

The boy tilted his head. “Why indeed...”

Heartbreak frowned. “Stop that!”

“Ssstop what?” the boy asked, looking at his fingers and jiggling the chain.

“Stop talking like this is all some sort of riddle!” Heartbreak exclaimed, stomping her hoof on the ground in frustration. “Ugh... I was going to say that I am used to waking up in strange places... but I’m beginning to suspect that you already know that.”

“Oh? And why isss that?” The boy asked, leaning forward in a mock interested pose.

“Because this is a dream...” Heartbreak looked at the boy in the eyes. “This is a dream, right?”

=====================================================================

The Crusaders listened to the subtle noises that were made by the old floor boards, as Heartbreak wandered about her house. After she passed the doorway and an audible ‘thump!’ of a body falling heavily on a bed could be heard, the three fillies waited a few more minutes before saying anything.

“Way to go with the plan, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo grumbled, crossing her hooves.

Sweetie Belle frowned. “I didn’t want to interrupt her story! I really did like it! And besides, I didn’t need to use the bathroom.”

“I told you that you should have drank more water...” Scootaloo replied disappointedly. “So now what? Do you still want to go with the plan, Applebloom?”

“I thought we already tried the plan,” Sweetie Belle interrupted.

“She doesn’t mean where we try ta get H.B. ta tell a story and ya go to the bathroom, Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom replied sighing. “She means the plan where we sneak into H.B.’s room and look at her mark while she’s asleep!”

“Oooooh,” Sweetie Belle replied, rubbing her face and laughing a bit. “Yeah, that plan.”

“Applejack is always tellin’ me: ‘Once yer committed ta somethin’, ya oughta stick to it ta the end,’”

“I wasn’t asking about what your sister would say, Applebloom! I was asking about what we should do!” Scootaloo retorted.

“No need ta get yer tail in a twist, little miss ninja!” Applebloom took a deep breath. “Yes, we’re gonna see this thing through. Ya think it’s been long enough fer her ta fall asleep, though?”

Applebloom’s question was answered with a soft snoring that echoed through the hallway.

“Oh yeah...” Scootaloo nodded her head, looking back at her friends before somersaulting out of bed and striking a pose! “Super Cutie Mark Crusaders Ninja Force Team Go!”

Applebloom groaned. “There she goes again with that ninja thing...”

“What does that even mean?” Sweetie Belle asked, a look of confusion plastered on her face.

“Pssssh! Don’t you two know anything? ” Scootaloo replied dismissively. “All ninja teams have some super cool catch phrase they say before going on secret, dangerous missions!”

The two fillies rolled their eyes at their friend. By now, Scootaloo’s ‘ninja’ kick was starting to leave ‘annoying’ and reach into the realm of goofy hijinx.

“Sure ya do there, Scoots.” Applebloom replied, patting her friend on the shoulder. Suddenly, she and Sweetie Belle joined in on the posing.

“Ha! No pony can resist the power of the ninja pose!” Scootaloo smirked. “Alright! Let’s do this!”

The three fillies peered out into the darkened hallway. The drape on the far window flittered with a draft and the dim moonlight was casting elongated shadows along the floorboards.

Scootaloo swallowed a bit. Something about this echoed the time where she was having nightmares about the Olden Pony, though she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“Aren’t ninja’s spost’a be fearless?” Applebloom taunted. Truth be told, she too was getting a slight shiver over the darkened passageway. She didn’t know why, she’d been down many darker and spookier places before!

“Of course we are!” Scootaloo straightened up. “But as Ninja leader, you should go first!”

“How come Ah’m ‘Ninja leader?’” Applebloom asked.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Because you’re the leader for most everything else we do! Now come on! We’re burning moonlight!”

Applebloom gave Scootaloo a look of disapproval, before swallowing and slipping out into the hallway. Finding that everything seemed safe enough, she motioned the others to follow.

As the three fillies crept down the hallway, the aura of creepiness just seemed to persist... Like something was watching them, poking out from the shadows of normally harmless objects. All this wasn’t helped by a few odd looking hoofblown glass sculptures whose faces seemed to follow the fillies as they made their trek. As the girls passed the linen closet, a small ‘creeeak’ noise came from behind them.

“Did either of you hear that?” Sweetie Belle whispered. The little unicorn looked over her shoulder just in time to see the closet door in the hallway slowly opening, before it suddenly slammed shut. “Ee-” Scootaloo put her hoof up in front of Sweetie Belle’s mouth, silencing the scream that desperately wanted to climb its way out.

The little orange filly put her own hoof up in a hushing motion. “Shhh!”

The white little unicorn gave a whimpering apologetic look before being pushed forward by Scootaloo’s sharp ‘come on already’ gestures.

=====================================================================

I narrow my eyes at the boy. If this is a dream, it’s hard for my eyes to adjust to the dim light of this cell. But with some effort, I get a good look at his face.

He has a pale, pasty complexion that highlights the fact that he needs a good washing. His hair is black and seems to run in flat squiggles. His skin is almost taught over his face, not like he’s a skeleton under a human face, but like he hasn’t eaten in a really long time. Emaciated. That’s the word I’m looking for. He’s emaciated.

“You think thisss isss a dream, then?” He asks me, clicking the chain against the ground.

“Yes,” I reply, frowning at the boy in the cage. “And if this is a dream? I don’t want to be a fetting pony.” I glare at my hooves and concentrate. I want hands, damn it! Give me hands! I grunt and struggle to push my limbs into remembering what it was like to have fingers, toes and feet. I push my face and body into recalling what they are really meant to look like. But for some reason, it’s slow work. “Grrrrrrr-ugha!”

“Like wading through molassssssesss, that wasss,” He comments, cocking his head. “Wasssn’t it?” The boy across from me laughs and pulls the chain.

“Oh goodie,” I start out in a sarcastic manner. “I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to be treated like a dog.” He only grins at me and gives a light chuckle. “Who are you, anyhow?” He suddenly looks offended.

“Who?” He proceeds to move on to puzzled. “Who?” he leans forward. “Who?”

“Yes, ‘who,’” I reply irritatedly. “Seriously, the who-owl joke only has so many miles in it before it gets old.”

“Why isss it alwaysss a ‘who’ that needsss to be involved with you?” The boy asks, glaringly.

“Because it’s one of ‘those’ dreams again,” I reply, tugging at the metal collar around my neck. Looking down, I check to see that everything is in order, no stupid surprises of ‘Oh hey! Now you’re a human girl! Ha! Ha! Ha!’ going on here. Good, I’m ‘me’. The old me at least.

“And what, pray tell, are ‘thossse’ dreamsss?”

“Where an aspect of myself anthropomorphizes into something I can recognize, and then has an argument with me,” I reply, looking at my hands and stretching my fingers. For some reason they feel stiff and sore. I really hope that doesn’t mean anything...

“And you have come to the conclusssion that isss what isss happening now?” Ugh, for a dark and dank dream, this is starting to become rather boring. Oh sure, the symbology behind it is interesting and everything but - abruptly I am yanked forward and given a face full of pain as the dull metal bars of my cage are forced to have a meet’n’greet with them. “And what part of you do you sssupossse I represssent, eh?”

“Gah! What the fffet was that for?!” I scream, rubbing my nose. The sensation is... intense, almost real feeling but not quite. He watches me, as if transfixed by the spectacle of me in discomfort is... gratifying somehow.

“Anssswer the quessstion,” he replies in an almost commanding voice. “What part of you do think I represssent?”

“I don’t know,” I shake my head free from the pain. “The ill mannered, masochistic, and self-destructive part?” I blink and pause. “You’re not Goth Bunny, are you?” His face twists up and it almost seems like I have offended him in some way. I brace myself as he looks like he is going to tug hard on the chain again. But when I don’t feel myself faceplant against the cell bars? I relax. The sudden clang and pain prove that was a mistake.

“Goth Bunny!?” He exclaims angrily, before pulling at the sides of his face. “Goth Bunny?!”

“Seriously! Can you stop smacking me against the cell bars?”

“Do I look like sssome tarted up anthropomorphic bright pink ‘goth’ lapine to you?!” As he screams his question, his black hair starts to form into tight curls and I swear his eyes flash a bit of red.

“Geez, calm down...” I rub my nose and sniff a bit. “It was only a -”

“No! You’re comparing me to that pathetic sssliver of your psssyche?!” He grabs the bars and pushes his face against them. “You’re comparing me to your ssself-doubtsss and fearsss?!” I glare at him and come to a realization.

“You know what?” I ask throwing my hands up. “I don’t care if I get to be huuuymon here. I don’t have to take this kind of abuse. I get enough of it in the waking world. And yeah, a good deal of it might be... self inflicted-” I reluctantly admit. “-But, this is a dream and I can wake up any time I want to. Which is what I am going to do-”

“Wait!” He holds out a hand and looks up at me. “Yesss, you could do that. But then you won’t know what part of yourssself I am.”

I frown. “Frankly, who ever you are? I don’t give a fet.”

“You ssshould,” He replies menacingly. I rub the bridge of my nose and eye him worriedly.

=====================================================================

The three fillies arrived at Heartbreak’s bedroom door. The soft snore could be heard from the mare within.

“Alright Scoots,” Applebloom said quietly. “Ya ready?”

“Me? Why do I have to go in?” Scootaloo asked, eyeing the soft rise and fall of blanket as Heartbreak slumbered.

“Because!” Applebloom quietly exclaimed.

“Because why?” Scootaloo asked.

“Well, fer one, you appointed me the leader of this here group.” Applebloom replied. “An secondly, yer the only one that can make it in there without makin’ too much noise, little-miss-ninja!” She tapped her hoof on Scootaloo’s wing.

“Uhm, yeah, of course!” She replied, rubbing her ankle. “But wouldn’t it be smarter for one of you two to come with me? ‘Cause you know...” Scootaloo flicked her wings.

“Ah know that ah was gettin’ on ya about the ninja thing, but yer the best one ta do this, “ Applebloom sighed, her expression softening. “We’ll be right outside the door keepin’ watch if ya need us. ”

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said smiling. “You’ll be in and out before she even knows it! Oh, here are the drawings we did earlier so you can compare.”

“Thanks,” Scootaloo took the drawings before she flapped and hopped slowly as best she could over the old and warped wooden floor. She made note of the few creaky floorboards near the bed that she’d stumbled upon earlier that day before landing as quietly as she could. Peeking over the bed where Heartbreak was sleeping, she saw that the mare was laying flat on her back, a position which most ponies didn’t usually take. And one that was extremely inconvenient for what the Crusaders wanted to do.

Heartbreak’s hooves were laying atop the old heavy looking blanket. Her eyes were shut tight and she seemed pretty deep in her slumber.

“Out like a light! I didn’t think that we wore her out that quickly!” Scootaloo thought to herself. “Which is perfect for what we want to do! However...” She reasserted her dilemma. “How am I going to get that blanket off her and then have her turn to the side, so that I can take a closer look at that cutie mark?!”

Just then, an idea popped into the filly’s head. A horrible, wonderfully inspired idea at that. “That might work! Thank you, Skeeterroll!” she spread her small wings and nosed around the feathers. “It’s been awhile since my last preening, so there’s sure to be one or two that are- ah-ha!” She pulled out a loose feather with her teeth. “Alright, let’s see if we can do this without waking her up...”

The little pony stood up and reached forward with her newly acquired feather, which lightly touched the tip of Heartbreak’s muzzle. At first nothing happened, but then the mare reached up and rubbed her nose, grumbling slightly before her left hoof fell to her side and off the blanket. Scootaloo quietly snuck to the other side of the bed, and carefully repeated the process until she rubbed her nose again and turned to her side. The mare set her head on her hooves and smacked her lips. Heartbreak’s frame now looked like one of her marks would be facing upwards, instead of the side.

“Awesome. Alright, now to get that blanket off her...” Scootaloo thought, as she returned to the other side. She tilted her head, looking over the bed once more. “Huh, I wonder why the blanket isn’t burning like the pants did? That doesn’t make too much sense.” The filly took the old musky blanket in her mouth, and started an arduous task of gently pulling it. “Carefully....Carefully...Almost...Almost...”

“Scoots! What in tarnation is takin’ so long!” Applebloom’s hushed voice said from the doorway.

Scootaloo dropped the blanket in her mouth, and ducked down as quickly as she could - while waggling her hooves at her friends who were looking at her through the crack in the door. “Shhh! You’ll wake her up!” she replied, as quietly as she could.

Just then, Heartbreak stirred in her sleep. “What do you mean...” She yawned really wide. “by...” She muttered, before returning back to her slumber.

Applebloom looked at her friend apologetically. “Sorry...”

“Has she-” Sweetie Belle started.

“Shhh!” Applebloom hushed.

“You shhh!” Sweetie Belle countered in a whispering tone.

“Would you both, ‘shh!?’” Scootaloo asked quietly. “I’ll have a good look in just a minute!”

Scootaloo lay quietly for a moment - just in case Heartbreak was roused more from her sleep - before peeking up over the bed again. “Jeez, really, really sound sleeper! Right, just that one part and I can get a better look at her flank...”

She took the corner of the blanket in her mouth again, and tugged the corner at the end of the bed until it slipped, exposing Heartbreak’s back hooves, and - most importantly - cutie mark to the open air.

Scootaloo almost squeed at her accomplishment. “Alright wings. Don’t fail me now. Let’s get up-”

The little filly lightly hopped up before she struggled and fought to flap her wings. They had been through a lot more exercise than they were used to, but as she softly landed on the bed, her efforts were rewarded.

“Whew! I swear, will these things ever just grow in?” She quietly bapped her forehead. “Focus, Scoots! Alright, let’s get a good look at this mark and find out what it really looks like.” she thought as she pulled out the drawings which the three of them had done. Her head bobbed up and down from the mark to the drawings, from the drawings to the mark. She shook her head in confusion. “That’s not right, none of these even look close to that crack thing in the middle of her cutie mark! I swear it looked more like an upside-down tree! Now it looks like a jagged line! Almost like two faces facing each other...What gives!?”

=====================================================================

“I know I’m going to regret asking this, but why should I care?” I ask waving my hand dismissively. He gives me a bemused smirk.

“Becaussse, I know... thingsss,” He replies vaguely.

“That’s not a very good incentive to stay dreaming you know,” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“Oh really?” He asks playing with the chain. “What if I were to make it interesssting? Guessssss who I am, and I will anssswer one quessstion on anything, honessstly.”

“One question with an honest answer?” I shake my head. Great, whatever part of me this is? It seems to like to play mind games with me. “Seriously, I can’t think of an-”

“You can’t think of anything?” He twirls the chain. “What about thossse little thingsss you have been noticing that aren’t just quite right?” He looks up at me. “Or who the Indigo Princessssss wasss?”

“...” Damn it, now he has my attention. If he is a part of my subconscious mind, he’s bound to have picked up on things that I didn’t. Including clues to who the random alicorn was. But why the fuck my subconscious mind would take this form and be taunting me like this, that’s anyone’s guess. Dreams are weird. “Why would I care about... about that?”

“We both know why you would care about that. Remember? I’m in your head,” He scoots close to the bars of his cage. “You care becaussse you ssstill feel guilty over what happened. Oh yesss, it was only a brief exchange, but the way you acted? You’d be lucky if ssshe would talk to you the next time you sssaw her.” The pang of guilt turns into a sliver that pierces into my heart. You’d think that bringing up things like this again and again would make me grow numb to the emotion, but with me? It’s like reopening an old wound and applying salt.

“S-s-shut up,” I sniff hard. “I-I don’t even know if she was real.”

“Well, if you want to know... How’sss about we play a game of ‘Yesss or No’? I’ll even throw in a little sssurprissse at the end. Sssomething you definitely get to know.”

“Fine, I’ll play your stupid game,” I take a deep breath and cross my arms. “Is this like twenty questions?”

“Of courssse,” He lays back and waves the chain back and forth above his head. “You get a number of quesstions, twenty in number - well, nineteen now - and have to guessssss what I am.”

“Wait, nineteen? Did that first question count as a question?”

“Yesss, Nineteen and probably.”

“Probably?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?!”

“Perhapsss.”

“Perhaps - Ugh! Isn’t this yes or no?! Aren’t you meant to answer yes or no?!”

“Yesss, this is yesss or no. And not alwaysss. Sssometimesss, the anssswersss are rather vague. Though, I’ll be nice and tell you that you jussst wasssted ssseven of your twenty quessstionsss.” He turns his head smirking at me. “I sssugessst that you choossse your wordingsss more wisssely... That’sss if you want your prize.”

“Right,” I rub my face. I can’t believe that I am being outsmarted by myself! “I don’t know what part of me you are. And you could be anything. You’re English, or at least you sound it. You’re young, but you look nothing like I did when I was young.”

“I ssshould alssso tell you that deduction ssshould be done at the end of our little game. Otherwissse, you forfeit all your other quessstionsss,” He crosses his hands over his head and puts his foot on his knee. “And I doubt that you’re sssmart enough to deduce what I am off the number of quessstionsss you’ve asssked.”

“Fine,” I take a deep breath, how the hell do I figure out what they are?! For all I know they could be my frustration! My confusion? A twisted version of my conscience? Wait, maybe the form he’s taken will tell me something. Alright, H.B. Let’s pay attention to the details and watch our words. “The form you’ve taken, do I know them?”

“Nope,” Comes the reply. Damn it, so a vague concept with a pension for riddles and causing pain.

“Have I ever seen you before?”

“Perhapsss,”

“Let me rephrase that-”

“There are no repeat quessstionsss,”

“Right, of course not,” I take a deep breath. “Have I felt you before?”

“Depends.”

“Depends?” I cringe and realize that I have just wasted another question.

“Heh, yesss. It depends on your definition of ‘felt’.” Ugh, my frustration is growing at the vagueness of the answers to these questions.

“Alright, have I felt you recently?”

“Oh mossst definitely.” He says running the chain through his fingers. The repetitive clinking is beating my nerves to the point past irritation.

“Could you stop that!?” Crap! There goes another question.

“I could,” He says, letting the idea of a further question of ‘will you stop it?’ hang in the air. Oh, not this time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me seven times, well... then I’m an idiot. I count in my head how many questions I’ve used up. Thirteen, great I have seven questions left. And I don’t think I’m any closer to answering what the fuck this thing is... I need to ask more pointed questions.

“Are you a good part of me?”

“Heh, not really.” He turns and looks at me, holding his head up with his hands.

“What do you mean by that?!” I hold up a hand while trying to push down the dissatisfaction I’m getting from how far I’ve gotten with them. Which is nowhere-land. “Right, I know. Yes or no.” As I hear nowhere land in my head, I’m reminded of the Beatles. The movie ‘Yellow Submarine’ to be precise. It’s weird how the mind works sometimes, but the disjointed connection causes me to do as Jeremy suggested that the band do when they were looking for Pepperland. Be empirical, look around. “Is anything around me here that can give me a clue as to what you are?”

“Oh yesss! Many thingsss!”

“Is this one of them?” I hold up the chain.

“Could be,” he says shrugging. I stretch the chain and relax it in my hands a couple of times.

“Are you something that I’ve always had?”

“Nope,” Ha! A breakthrough! And with only three questions left!

“Alright, I think I know what you are.” I try to say confidently, though it doesn’t sound like it. My voice sort of trembles and I bite on my lower lip.

“Are you sssure? You know if you take a guessssss now, you forfeit thossse lassst three quessstionsss!” I just nod. “Alright then, what do you think I am?”

“Are you my curses?” His expression drops and he bites his lower lip. And for a moment I think that I have hit upon something. Up till the instant that he chuckles, sits up and looks at me dead in the eyes.

“No, I am not your cursssesss...” Fuck, I thought I really had it! Seems like I can’t even win in my dreams. “Awww, don’t look ssso sssad, you’re not going to go away empty hooved... There’sss still your sssurprissse... But if you want it... You ssshould come clossser...” He holds up a shiny piece of something in his hand and reaches it through the bars. Sighing, I feel compelled to at least take whatever scrap of information this stupid thing is offering. “Come clossser.... just a little clossser...”

As he repeats that phrase, I feel a sudden apprehension. “I... I think I’ve changed my mind.” I sharply pull my hand back into my cage. “‘Cause seriously? That’s creepy.”

“That’sss alright... The game hasss done it’sss job...” He sits down and wrings his hand with a horribly devious smile on his face.

“W-what do you mean by that?” I ask, swallowing hard.

=====================================================================

Scootaloo’s eyes darted back to the drawings in her hooves. This wasn’t just confusing anymore: this was beginning to turn dangerous. The longer she stayed here, the better and better the chance of her getting caught! She looked at the cutie mark in front of her. This time, much to her astonishment, it appeared that it had changed once again! This time, the cracks appeared in a more star-like pattern.

A sudden fear gripped Scootaloo and she jumped back, her wings set into a flutter. “What the hay!?” She quickly covered her mouth and looked around. Sound sleeper or not, making any loud noises was sure to wake Heartbreak up! However, when the tan form didn’t rouse from her slumber, the filly sighed in relief. She looked to her friends who were just outside the door. “I think I want to-” Just then, something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye...

It was the mark. Turning her head, the little filly almost could swear that it was...moving.

“No, has to be a trick of the light!” Scootaloo shook her head. “From her breathing! After all, cutie marks don’t-” Her thoughts paused as she swore she saw it actually move again, the cracks in the lower half becoming.. wider. Like a demented mouth opening and closing slightly.

Like it was saying something.

Scootaloo’s wings flitted a bit as she drew closer. “A closer look won’t hurt...” As she did so, her hoof raised up with intent to poke. “It’s only a cutie mark... what’s the harm?”

But as her hoof encroached upon Heartbreak’s mark, Scootaloo felt a wrongness. A wrongness that was so palpable that what little colour in the room seemed to be drained away. A horrible feeling that she couldn’t shake.

The cracks and the patches in the mark were no longer merely tricks of light. With her hoof ever-so-close, they were growing and shrinking. Changing and reshaping. There was no doubt that there was a face in those cracks. And now she could match words to it’s moving mouth.

“Come closer...come closer... just a little closer...”

Scootaloo grabbed her hoof and pulled it away! As she did so, the face started to fade back into the linework. “What the fet!?” She looked at her hoof and then at the mark. She shook her head and looked horrified. She frowned and looked at the mark a little closer. This time, nothing occurred. “Did that just really happen?”

She thought about looking at it again, but the unsettling feeling about this thing just wouldn’t leave her be. “I better get-”

“Scootaloo!! Come on! Tell us who’s right already!!” Applebloom whisper-shouted.

Scootaloo jumped in fright and like a bullet in a loaded gun, her hoof sprang forward and hit Heartbreak square in the middle of her cutie mark. A small creaking noise was uttered from her throat and fear flooded the little filly’s being as cold, inky, black cracks started to make their way up her arm...

=====================================================================

The boy’s face in front of me twists and changes. It turns completely black and a white crack forms down the middle. His eyes open. They’ve lost any and all colour and are lacking pupils. If this wasn’t so utterly disturbing, I would comment about him contracting, ‘Youngbloods.’ It was a thing that happened in the Ninety’s with comic book characters. Look it up. His mouth opens a long, wide, jagged looking smile that has no real teeth.

“W-w-what are you?” I ask, frozen in my seat.

The jail cell that we are in jars as the roof is ripped off by a horrible wind that sounds like a howling storm. The sky is set aflame and I feel like I am being roasted alive.

“I’ll give you a hint... Even if you aren’t going to remember mossst of thisss dream, I’m not your friend...” The little boy gets really close to me, his mouth is opening wide. It’s like a carved jack-o-lantern smile. Well, if the smile was red and made me want to run screaming into the night. He lets out a disturbing giggle. “You ssshould really wake up now... that sssurprisss I told you about isss done...”

The noise being generated by the wind is getting louder and louder. It’s almost familiar. Like I’ve heard something like this before... Where have I heard this sound before? Waking up and my senses quickly returning to me, I realize what that sound is: Screaming.

I’m the one screaming. Why am I screaming? I feel a burning coming from my flanks and it feels like I am being branded all over again. Why does it feel like this? Turning my head, I find out why.

My eyes go wide as I see Scootaloo on my bed, her face is frozen in horror and her mouth is open wide. There is a tiny gasping noise coming from her throat and it almost seems like her eyes have gone black. Her hoof certainly has. I don’t know why I’m explaining this in such a nonchalant manner. Maybe it’s how utterly over the top it seems. Maybe it’s the shock of waking up to this maybe- wait. My leg is burning and writhing. And it finally hits me.

Scootaloo is touching your mark, you fucking idiot!

From that moment I react, attempting to pull away from the filly, however she seems almost latched to my flank. Either she actually is, or she’s leaning forward in order to keep touching the fucking thing. I don’t care! Not again! Fuck! Fuck! Ouch!

“Uuugh!!! Scootaloo!!” I attempt to get her attention! But it’s no use, she’s... frozen... I smack her hoof away from my mark and she almost goes limp. I quickly jump up and catch her in my arms. I look her in the face angrily. “What the fet are you doing in here?! Why are you touching my mark?! Why-”

That’s when I realize two things:

One, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are in the room, staring at me in horror and on the verge of screaming. They’re clutching each other tightly and crying. Two: Scootaloo isn’t responding. I look at her directly in the face.

“Scootaloo? Scoots?” I shake her. Oh please no. Please, No! No! Please, no! “Scootaloo! Scoot-A-Loo! Come on! Wake up!” I start to hug her limp body tightly and press my ear against her chest. It still sounds like there is a heartbeat in there, but there’s no response. The lights are on, but nopony is home. I have only one hope, oh fuck, please let this work! “Sweetie Belle! Down stairs! The cupboard! The chocolate! Now!!”

“What?!” Sweetie Belle asks terrified.

“Get the chocolate from the cupboard! Now! ” I look into Scootaloo’s blank eyes. Fuck, I’ve broke her. “I’ve broke her! Fuck! No! Not Scootaloo! Please! She gets a bad enough time in fan fiction! Please, no!” Looking over I see that Sweetie Belle is still frozen. “Sweetie Belle! Now!”

The little filly races out of the room and down the stairs. Applebloom snaps out of her daze. “W-what’s wrong with Scootaloo?!” She asks.

“Come on, Scoots, come on, come back to us! Come on!” I chant. I know that Applebloom is asking questions, but I don’t want to answer them. I just want Scootaloo to wake up! “Come on, Scootaloo! Wake up!”

“What did ya do to her?!” Applebloom shouts accusingly at me. “She isn’t dead is she?!”

I turn and look at her. “Why were you in my room!? Why was she touching my mark!?” Scootaloo still feels like a limp noodle in my arms. I force her head forward as it looks like she might choke on her own tongue. Fuck! Where is Sweetie Belle?! “C-c-come o-on, Sc-c-c-ootaloo!”

Sweetie Belle races back into the room, chocolate in mouth. I don’t waste any time in grabbing it from her with my mouth and shoving it into Scootaloo’s. I don’t care if it looks like I am kissing both of them for a moment. I don’t care if part of it broke off in Sweetie Belle’s mouth. All I care is that this works. I really hope it works, come on! Work!

“C-c-c-come on, Scootaloo! Chew it! Chew It!” I push her mouth closed. The other crusaders are looking at me dazed and confused. I don’t know what they’re thinking about me, but It’s surely not anything good. I move Scootaloo’s jaw up and down with my ankle. I really hope this will work! It has to work! “Come on! Come on, Scootaloo!”

Did I mention that I was crying? Well, not anymore, all that I am left with right now is a steady stream of sobbing hiccups and the fear that Scootaloo will never wake up again. This is my fault, this is my doing, this filly will never achieve what she is meant to because I happened to her.

“C-c-come on...” I try hugging her again. That’s what works in the shows right? Hug them tightly enough and they wake up! That’s what happens! Why isn’t this working? Come on! Work damn, you! Come on!!

Just then I feel something move on my shoulder. It is a small movement, but it is still movement. I pull Scootaloo away only to pull her back tightly after I see that she is chewing on the chocolate in her mouth and her eyes are tracking me.

“Huh...wha...?” Are the first words that come out her mouth.

I feel a smile coming to my face and hug her even tighter. This is the happiest moment of relief I have ever felt. Scootaloo will be alright. She’ll be fine. I sniff hard, I’ve never been so happy before. However, the joy in this moment is tainted by my feelings of guilt and shame.

“F-f-forgive me, Scootaloo... please... please... forgive me...” I whisper under my breath, hugging her as tightly as I can again. Scootaloo is shaking and I am sure is terrified of me. But it’s the only thing I can think of saying. How do you explain everything horrible that has happened to me to some little filly that hasn’t even earned her cutie mark yet? “Please forgive me, Scootaloo...Please....Please...” I repeat, sniffing hard while moving my hoof back and forth through her mane.

Rarity’s voice enters my ears. “What is all the commotion going on in here!?”

My face twitches and one thought enters my head. “Rarity... She brought them here. She brought them here! This happened because she brought them here!”

==============================================================

Rarity looked a bit petrified at the scene before her. Heartbreak was sitting on her bed clutching Scootaloo in her arms as if she had been pulled out of a fire. “What’s going on in here?!” She asked gawking.

Heartbreak brushed her hoof through Scootaloo’s mane once more before letting her go. “Applebloom, take your friend, p-p-please. I need to have a talk with Rarity.”

Applebloom almost instantly jumped up on the bed and looked over her fine feathered friend. “Scoots?” She asked her voice dripping with concern. “Are ya alright?” Heartbreak got off the bed and walked over to Rarity.

There was a terrible twitch on her face and she was biting her lip. “Just where the h-h-hay were you, Rarity?!”

“Asleep in my room downstairs! What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Why are they crying?!” Rarity asked looking over the three fillies.

Heartbreak glared at Rarity and attempted to pull her off to the side. “Asleep in your room?! Could you not hear me screaming?!”

Rarity looked undignified. “I had my ear muffs on, and you gave me the one room in the house that is clear on the other side of this one! The only reason I came up here is because I awoke to my sister crying on her way out of the kitchen!” She took in the breath of the situation unfolding before her, her mind jumping to the worst conclusion as she saw the tears running down the fillies’ cheeks. “What happened?!” she asked.

Heartbreak twitched and looked to the ground. “I didn’t do anything to them, Rarity. If that’s what you’re implying. They-”

“H.B.! They’re crying! And I didn’t say that you-”

“Would you let me finish!” Heartbreak said seethingly. “Scootaloo came into my room and I woke up to find her touching my mark!”

Rarity’s eyes went wide and she looked at Scootaloo. She hadn’t seen what happened to Cream Puff, but Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie seemed a little shaken by the incident. Part of her didn’t want to believe what Heartbreak had told her regarding the mark. After all, there hadn’t been any problems with other ponies following the incident. Save for perhaps that lovely pair of pants that she had made for her, but surely that was an entirely different matter. Wasn't it? “Girls? Could you take Scootaloo back to your room?”

Sweetie Belle looked up at her sister. “But Rarity!”

“Please. Just go back to your room, we’ll talk about all this in the morning.” Rarity said calmly.

As the three fillies walked to the door, Scootaloo looked up at Heartbreak. Her eyes filled with questions, pain and an air of rage. The tan mare could only respond by backing away from the girls, and looking turning her head to look away.

When Rarity closed the door she was met with a cold, dark glare.

“What’s wrong, Darling?” Rarity asked, cowering slightly away.

“Where do I start, Rarity? ‘Cause I thought we had established that my mark is, in fact evil, and that anything young, cute and innocent should be kept away from it at all times. So unless you had a case of the, ‘derpies,’ over the past few days, you have no excuse for what just happened!” Heartbreak said shaking her hoof at Rarity.

“Hmph, if you were so worried about it, you could have locked your door, darling.” Rarity calmly retorted.

“With my hooves?!” Heartbreak retorted at the unicorn as she threw her hooves in the air.

“There’s no reason to take that tone with me, little Miss Heartbreak." Rarity frowned and glared back at Heartbreak. "Nor is what happened, which I am not sure of what just happened to begin with, in anyway my fault!” She took a deep breath through her nostrils in an attempt to calm herself. “I just want to know what happened.”

Heartbreak sat down and rubbed her temples. “Not your fault?! Rarity! You brought them here! And when I protested, you told them that I didn’t want them to come and used their-” she waved her hooves in the air in frustration. “Cute-filly-pony-raybeam powers on me!”

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Rarity replied, humphing and walking to the sewing table on the far side of the room. She lifted several linens off the chair before sitting down.

Heartbreak followed her. “Yes you do! I know that somehow you found out that I find it really hard to say no to a colt or filly giving me an overly cute face! Though most of you have that same problem... I just have a bigger problem with it than-” She shook her head and reasserted herself. “But that isn’t the issue or the problem at present!”

“And just what is the problem that you are blaming me for, Heartbreak?” Rarity demanded. “Because quite frankly it feels like you are blaming me for something that I am completely unaware of!”

“Do I have to repeat myself, Rarity? You brought those three little fillies here despite my wishes!” Heartbreak fumed.

“You keep repeating that point, Heartbreak. But you're not explaining anything!” Rarity slammed her hoof on the sewing table sending small bits of dust flying everywhere. “Yes, I brought them here! You know why I brought them here?”

“No, why don’t you tell me why, Rarity?” Heartbreak asked darkly.

“Because I am at my wits end with you! I have tried everything just to get to know you, offered you things that any normal pony would jump at the chance to have for free! Tried to treat you to nice things, helped you get a house, bought you a bike, even tried to get you to get out some!”

“Fetlocks, you sound almost like my mother. Only she kept trying to just get me to do chores. And I would do them, but she kept trying to get me to do something else that to this day I can’t figure out.”

“Was it perhaps, oh I don’t know...” Rarity tapped her chin. “Make some friends?!”

Heartbreak glared at Rarity. “Not in the slightest. But we’re not going down that path to nowhere! Look! None of those things you just mentioned you would have done if Twilight hadn’t forced you to!” She hissed. “And most of it all was done under gize of manipulation!”

“So we’ve come full circle to this little argument, have we? No longer burying the hatchet and trying to, ‘forgive and learn from our mistakes,’ are we?” Rarity said glaring at Heartbreak.

“This isn’t about that, Rarity!” Heartbreak pointed at the wall next to her. “This is about them! Scootaloo touched my mark! For normal p-p-ponies? I’m sure that isn’t a problem! I was having some sort of terrible dream about something, and I just wanted to wake up! But when I woke up, I found that my nightmare wasn’t over! Scoots looked like she was almost latched to the thing! Like she couldn’t let go! And when I had to remove her hoof?! She looked like she was in a coma, Rarity! I was afraid that she wasn’t going to wake up! And then you just tell them to, ‘go to bed and we’ll talk about this in the morning,’ as if the whole thing was nothing!”

“Why bother?” Rarity asked sharply. “And why do you even care? You said no after that filly got hurt after the library. And none of us have asked since, because we know what the answer would be. It's why I didn't bring it up, even after that thing of yours burned clean through denim. You might not like what just happened, but you are the one who doesn't want anything done about it! Are more concerned with your precious secrets than what your mark might do to others or yourself?"

“That is completely untrue! And why do I care?! Why!? What kind of flip-fetting fra-acking mind-screw of a question is that?!” Heartbreak tried to yell as quietly as she could. “Because she’s Scootaloo! That’s Why!”

“That’s not an answer.” Rarity said, frowning at the over abundance of f-related words Heartbreak had just used.

“What do you want from me, Rarity!?” Heartbreak fumed.

“What I want to know is if you actually care about that filly or just care about hiding away in your broken down home isolated away from other ponies.”

“Rarity, did it ever come across your mind that it might be both?! That I do care if I hurt others, and that I want to live in this house due to its isolated location?! That way, I don’t have to worry about things like this!” Heartbreak retorted.

“You can’t be an island to yourself, Heartbreak. Nopony can.” Rarity stated matter-a-factly.

“Watch me!” Heartbreak nearly shouted.

Rarity took a deep seething breath. Perhaps now is a good time for her to taste her own medicine. “Right, and how well is that going to work?”

“I don’t know...” Heartbreak looked at Rarity with a questioning glance.

“Nonsense! You know almost everything about those who live in Equestria and the inhabitants of Ponyville. And while I have no issues with leaving somepony who just wants to be miserable, and alone, out there near the Everfree Forest, for the rest of however long you have? There are others who won’t leave you be.”

“I’ll just tell them to leave me alone,” Heartbreak said evasively.

“Oh, because that’s just been working splendidly for you, so far, hasn’t it, darling?” Rarity replied tossing her mane. “Back in Whinneapolis, you told the bellhop to leave us be, but he was intent on carrying your bags to your room for you.”

“That was just the Whinneapolis, ‘nice,’” Heartbreak replied.

“Oh? Or what about Brick House? You seemed hesitant to acknowledge knowing her, but she was insistent that you were somehow friends.”

“I already explained what happened! We met once last month at a party I took Dib to and I didn’t want to offend her! I did it in a gentle manner!”

“And during yesterday’s song, when the girls were getting on your nerves and you sang to them to leave you alone? You were practically shouting it through your teeth!” Rarity continued.

“They tricked me into singing with them! I was stern to be sure! I didn’t shout, I just reminded them that my house is under construction and that I didn’t want them getting hurt!”

“Do you know what’s going to happen when you tell others to leave you be? They are going to want to know what’s wrong. They are going to try to fix the problem. They are going to keep coming. Because that’s how we ponies are. And if you think you can just box yourself off, well, I won’t stop you from being alone. But you’re going to have a hard time trying to shake Pinkie Pie off.”

“I’ll think of something! I’ll tell them that I’m busy! That I have a project that I have to do by myself!”

“You’ll even lie to get them to go away?” Rarity asked. “Now who’s being the manipulative mare?”

“I-I,” Heartbreak stammered.

“This was a point that I wanted to get to when we were on the train but couldn’t,” Rarity started to walk around Heartbreak. “It was an important point too.”

“W-what fetting point was that, Rarity?” Heartbreak asked sullenly. Rarity got up into Heartbreak’s face and tapped her chest.

“That when it comes down to it, we are more similar than either of us would like to admit.”

“I never thought I would see the day when I heard-”

“Let me finish,” Rarity said curtly. “You and I have many differences, this is to be certain. But we both do our fair share of manipulation. I manipulate in an attempt to bring others together, whereas you manipulate to keep them apart.”

“I do not!” Heartbreak protested.

“You have shown me nothing to convince me otherwise!” Rarity said, stomping her hoof.

“Oh no no, you are not going to get me this time with your reverse psychology tactics. Those things don’t work if you know that they are being used, you know,” Heartbreak said, trying to regain her composure.

“You would know that all too well now wouldn’t you? After all, you’re so well practiced in using such things. What do you think you were doing when you were goading Twilight into touching your mark? Hmmm? Oh, and how about when Manifest Destiny was being flirtatious with you? How quickly you cut down his ego so that others would discontinue any future attempts at interacting with you? Threatening the construction worker ponies into getting them to behave themselves? And what about Diamond Tiara? A little filly, for Celestia’s sake! You realize how much I am going to explain to Filthy Rich, once his daughter tells him what happened?” Rarity said standing over Heartbreak. “Face it, Heartbreak. We do have a striking commonality, because when it comes down to it, when you are under pressure, you will resort to practically the same manipulations as I do!”

Heartbreak’s composure began to crumble and she took a few steps back.

“What? No sarcastic quips? No clever comments? Nothing to say? I want to know what you have to say, Heartbreak! I’m all ears here!” Rarity seemed to tower over the mare’s cracking mask. “What do you have to say to that?! Oh please, wise Heartbreak, you know everything! Educate me.” Heartbreak went quiet and turned away.

“Well?” Rarity demanded. Heartbreak continued to walk to the door, refusing to say a word. “Answer me!”

A twitch rolled over Heartbreak’s face and she sniffed hard. “Fine, Rarity...” She turned and looked at Rarity with glistening tear filled eyes. “You win.”

Rarity blinked in confusion. “I...win?”

Heartbreak threw her hooves up. “Yup! Congrad-u-fetting-lations, you pointed out that I can be a hypocrite. Good. Job.” Her voice trembled. “You win. Congrats.”

Finally! “And what are you going to do about it?” Rarity asked.

A seething glare came off Heartbreak. “What is there to do about it?” She went quiet for a moment. “You win, Rarity.”

“Darling, that’s not what I-”

“No! You win, Rarity. Congratulations. You. Win.” Heartbreak said, fighting back tears. “I’m a hypocrite and the great and wise Rarity is the best teacher of all! Trying to teach me, the lowly-” she closed her eyes and bit on her lip before forcing out, “-Heartbreak, a lesson about not being manipulative by throwing every moment that I manipulated others in my face.” She twitched and slow clapped her hooves. “Good job. Thank you, Rarity.” Her whole face twitched and she sniffed hard. “I can’t wait to write to the Princess about this ‘lesson.’ I can see that letter now.” She cleared her throat. “Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that I am a fetting manipulative hypocrite. Signed, nothing-but-a-heartbreak-pony.’”

“H.B....” Rarity said reaching out.

“No!” Heartbreak almost shouted. “No. You. Win. Rarity. Thank you. Lesson learned.”

“I just wanted you to see that what you were doing was wrong, and isn’t the way to earn yourself any friends,” Rarity said her ears starting to droop.

“And. You. Did.” Heartbreak said, glaring at Rarity. “Thank you. Thank you for showing me that I’m nothing but... but a canker-nag,” she said, rubbing her face and coughing. Rarity looked like she wanted to stop her from leaving, but she waved off at the unicorn. “I’m too tired to deal with anything more, Rarity. I’m going to check in on the girls. You know, the three little fillies who were meant to help you teach me something about generosity? The ones who are over in the other room scared out of their wits and emotionally scarred? And then I’m going try to get some sleep. Something that you, yourself, should do,” she said, pointing at the bed.

“But darling, this is the only other bed is downstairs on the other side of the house or the one that the girls are sleeping in. Where are you going to sleep?”

“Where all fetting hypocritical cankernags sleep, Rarity. On the fetting guest room couch!” Heartbreak replied, glaring back for a moment.

“Darling, please, I was just-”

“Trying to help me and do something for my own fetting good. I’m sure.” Heartbreak paused when she walked through the door frame. “Rarity, I want you to think about something while you sleep on what is essentially my nice warm bed.” Her hoof tapped on the wood as she gathered her thoughts. “That could have been your sister who had touched my mark. Your sister who might not have come out of a depression-induced coma. Your sister I had to force feed chocolate to. This might sound manipulative of me, but maybe you ought to think about that.”

“H.B.-”

“You sleep well, Rarity.” Heartbreak said leaving the room, her tail whipping to the side.

As Heartbreak departed the scene, her hoof beats echoed through the old house. She clutched her chest and bit her lip as each one leaving a hard painful mark on her heart.

In the darkened silence, Rarity found herself at odds with what had just happened. In one hoof, she had finally said what she had been dying to say ever since the train ride to Whinneapolis. Something that she hoped would get Heartbreak to see the light, open up to the generosity of others and realize how she could better herself. However, it had just done the opposite. Forcing Heartbreak to reflect on her journey and interactions with others had only made her become more hostile and closed off.

Rarity covered her mouth and shut her eyes tightly. Wasn’t she right about all this? Wasn’t she right about how Heartbreak could have interacted with the situations she brought up?

Yes, of course you are, darling. Heartbreak is just refu- Rarity stopped and her thoughts were interrupted by a glimmer of light out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head, she jumped in surprise as she saw the outline of the mane, and thought it was another mare looking back at her. Then she saw the horn, and realized that it was only her own reflection in a mirror on the other side of the room. She looked down and felt a few tears run down her cheeks.

Being right never felt so wrong.

Author's Note

Oooooh Boy. How will this get resolved!? Yeah, I know there's a lot here and things seem very bleak. But the good news is that it will be like an hour before the next chapter comes. Here is the Chapter Art for those who can't see.

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/sabertooth1980/Chapter44WakingNightmares_zpsd1135ce5.jpg

Come Run With Us

Chapter 45

Come Run With Us.

The three fillies lay in the bed staring at the ceiling. The Prance style bed felt like its mattress needed fluffing, and the blankets lay over them as heavily as the day’s events.

None of them could even understand what had just happened. Or, judging from the volume of shouting, what was continuing to happen in H.B.’s room. They didn't even have the words. What did you even call a cutie mark that could burn through clothing? Both mares seemed to know, but they weren't sharing. And what might any of it mean?

It had started out as an adventure, and had felt like it at the ice cream parlor, at the hardware store, and on the way here. It had really felt like an adventure when they were trying to get a look at HB's cutie mark! Up until Scootaloo had actually touched it. It didn't feel like an adventure any more. Adventures ended up with them in trouble, or covered in tree sap, or both. Right now, they wished they were just covered in tree sap.

Unlike all their other adventures, this one had just ended in heartbreak.

At first, meeting Heartbreak was just like meeting any other pony. She had her quirks, her problems and her issues. The other colts and fillies around Ponyville said that she was great at telling stories though. So what if she had a hole in her hoof? So what if she was more tomcolt than most of the other mares in Ponyville? Applejack was somewhat of a tomcolt, Rainbow Dash was even more of a tomcolt. Heartbreak was a pony, warts and all.

And when they first met her, that’s all she appeared to be. Just a pony. A closed off, pretty shut in - not all that fun - weird pony with a hole in her hoof and a bit of an attitude. But still a pony. Now, with what had just happened to Scootaloo, the three were not so sure about that.

Yeah, she had told a cool bedtime story. But after the event happened? Nothing was said. Rarity had told them to go to bed and they would talk about what happened in the morning. Heartbreak wasn’t happy with this. The two of them could be heard through the nearly paper thin walls arguing.

The most perplexing thing for the little fillies wasn’t the sudden argument between the two mares. That had been going on the whole time they had been together. It was how the argument between the two ended. When most adults got into fights or arguments, there was yelling and slamming of doors and then apologies. Not so with these two. This argument started loud and then ended quietly.

Not with a bang, but a whimper.

Oppressive silence was filled the room with the otherwise normally vocal Cutie Mark Crusaders. It was spell of deafening, stifling and almost suffocating silence. Finally, Sweetie Belle broke the enchantment that seemed to be cast over them.

“W-what do you suppose is wrong with her?” She asked curling, under the blanket, almost as if she was afraid of the very question itself.

“Ya mean... H.B.?” Applebloom mulled the question over in her mind and looked down at the blanket. It was a well worn heirloom of a family that no longer lived here, and no longer cared to live here. A place that most ponies wouldn’t care to live. Right outside the edge of the Everfree Forest along a dirt road that ponies rarely seemed to travel down. Then again, Fluttershy’s cottage was practically a hop skip and a jump away from here, so Heartbreak couldn’t be completely alone.

“More like Heartbreak,” Scootaloo corrected, shaking her hoof. It felt almost like it had fallen asleep. Numb with pin pricks and tingles.

“Ah... Ah don’t know,” she finally replied. How had Crab Apple, a pony known in Hoofthorne for spotting dangerous threats to other ponies, not seen what horrible danger lurked within Heartbreak? Had he been blinded by her somehow? Did he like her?

“An’ not just like-her-like-her, but really like-like her...” She shook her head. That was just stupid grown pony talk. “Ah just don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with with her,” Scootaloo said darkly. “Even if she can tell a good story?” The little pegasus held her knees close to her chest, her wings were flittering and threatening to open as she shivered and shook. “She’s still a monster...”

Just then, there was the clatter of hoofbeats and the crackingly sounds of sobbing could be heard in the hallway. The three looked up just in time to see a flash of a black broken heart and the brown of a messy tangled tail rush by the open door.

“Scootaloo!” Applebloom scowled.

Sweetie Belle looked concerned. “Do you think she heard us?” She whispered frightenedly.

“Of course she heard us,” Scootaloo said angrily. “All monsters ca-”

“Now just stop it, Scootaloo!” Applebloom got up from the bed and closed the bedroom door. As she did so, she could hear the muffled sounds of sobbing coming from the guest room. A part of her wanted to go and reach out to Heartbreak, tell her that Scootaloo didn’t mean what she had said. The other part was afraid.

Afraid that Scootaloo was right.

“But monsters don’t cry like that an’ they most certainly don’t stick up for little fillies against ponies like Diamond Tiara like that!” Applebloom glared at Scootaloo before getting back into bed. “Ah don’t think that she’s a monster, Scootaloo. Just that somethin’ really bad happened ta her.”

Scootaloo glared back at Applebloom. “And what happened to me wasn’t really bad either?! You don’t know what it was like, Applebloom! It was awful! Terrible! Worse than the worst thing you can imagine!”

“Keep yer voice down, Scoots!” Applebloom said sternly. “These walls here are mighty thin now!”

Sweetie Belle leaned forward between Applebloom and Scootaloo. “What’s worse than the worst thing I can imagine? Because I saw the worst thing I could imagine when you were...” She swallowed hard. “Touching her mark...”

Scootaloo forced herself to remember. To see what was there in that horrible moment. “Nothing... Just...nothing.”

“Nothing?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “So there’s nothing I can imagine that is worse than what you saw?”

“Ah think somethin’ of H.B. is rubbin’ off on ya there, Scoots,” Applebloom said, her eyebrow quirked. “Because it kinda sounds like yer talkin’ in riddles..”

Scootaloo practically snarled. “No! It isn’t that! At all!” She wanted to scream, she wanted to shout, she wanted to let it all out. But she knew what her friends would do. They would tell her to keep it down. “They care more about that... thing’s feelings than they do mine...”

“Then tell us what happened,” Sweetie Belle said sympathetically. She looked at Scootaloo with tears in her eyes. “Please?”

“Yeah, don’t be bottlin’ that stuff up inside! We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We share everythin’ with each other!” Applebloom’s expression softened and she joined Sweetie Belle. “Even the bad stuff...”

Scootaloo’s first reaction to the outreach of emotion was to jump back and fight it. But... these were her friends. They always would share everything. They did everything together. They had been on so many adventures together. Faced so many dangers together. And she was shutting down because of this? Was it the mark she touched? Had she somehow been tainted by it? Or was it her inability to fully comprehend what she had seen in those moments?

“It was ...Nothing...” She finally said.

“Hey now, it couldn’t have been nothin’ otherwise-” Applebloom began.

“No!” Scootaloo almost shouted. “I mean, ugh... it’s so hard to describe! Maybe if I was a smarter filly like you Applebloom, or better with my words like you Sweetie Belle, I could describe it better. But that’s what it was...” She looked forward blankly. “Nothing. I know this isn’t like me to just... think like this, I’m not an egghead, I’m not the smartest of ponies...” she sighed sadly.

“Hey now, stop beatin’ yerself up, Scoots...” Applebloom looked at her friend as she struggled to explain. For some reason she almost looked older. More tired. Like the whole of the experience had taken a year or two off her life. “Just explain the best way ya can.”

“Alright... here goes...” Scootaloo snickered. “Nothing.” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other in confusion at the joke that Scootaloo had made. “Have you ever tried to imagine... nothing before? Just... Nothing? Up till today, I never tried to. I was too focused, too driven, always on the move and always on the go. Like Rainbow Dash always says, ‘Be awesome and do awesome.’” She shook her head. Just an hour ago those words would have propelled her to the highest of highs. “Anyway, there was always... something happening! Something for us to do! I mean the closest that I ever came to imagining ‘nothing’ was that one time when we tried to earn our cutie marks by thinking we could be ambassadors to Puuuunda Meelia Ardhi? Or where ever it is that Zecora comes from. You know? When she had us sit in that one spot for nearly half an hour meditating?”

Applebloom thought about it. “Ah yeah... Ya ended up fallin’ asleep!”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Yeah, but just before that moment I passed out... I think... I think I almost saw... nothing. No sounds, nothing to feel, no needs or wants or all that fancy stuff she was talking about, just ...nothing. It was like that. Well, not at first... I was in the middle of Ponyville and confused how I got there. Everypony was walking around, talking like normal. But then I tried to talk to one of them and it was like they didn’t even see me. I kept trying to get their attention, but still...” She paused. “Nothing.”

“How was it worse?” Sweetie Belle asked. She felt the need to get Scootaloo to tell them all of it. To get it all out. She didn’t want to keep tugging at her friend like this. But she wanted her friend back.

Scootaloo bit her lip and remained quiet before she sniffed hard.

Applebloom put a hoof on her friends’ shoulder. “We’re here fer ya, Scoots. Remember? Crusaders forever.”

Scootaloo nodded and whimpered. “I saw Rainbow Dash and tried to get her attention, but she acted like she didn’t even know I was there! Then... I saw you girls and tried to talk to you, and tell you that Rainbow had given me a cold shoulder. The two of you payed attention to me and asked who I was talking about. You were like, ‘Rainbow-who?’ So I pointed turned to point her out, but she wasn’t there! I turned back to you two, but then you two weren’t there! I kept looking around, and ponies left and right kept vanishing! Then everything disappeared around me! From there it’s so hard to explain! I-i-it was like I was screaming, but nopony could hear me because there weren’t anyponies to hear me. Not only that, but I couldn’t hear myself screaming. I mean, I knew I was screaming, it was the only thing that I could sort of feel, but nothing was coming out. And I know it doesn’t make any sense but,” she shook her head. “there was no Rainbow Dash, no Equestria, no Ponyville and worst of all...”

Scootaloo looked up with tears in her eyes. “No us!” She sniffed hard and tried to look brave. But it was no use. “I’m sorry... I know it doesn’t make any sense but it’s the best way I can explain it... And that’s what I saw in that moment when I was touching her scar...” She frowned and swallowed hard. “Because like ...fet... am I calling that thing a cutie mark.”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked forward blankly. How could they respond to that? No Crusaders? No ponies? No Ponyville? No Equestria?

“Ah-” Applebloom started.

“And it’s all her fault!” Scootaloo seethed, her expression turning dark. “If she wasn’t here, or didn’t have to spend time with Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and her friends, then we wouldn’t have to deal with her!”

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “Stop that!”

“Yeah!” Applebloom yelled as quietly as she could. “Ya think that what ya’ll saw was bad? Sweetie Belle an’ me where the ones watchin’ it! Fet! Ah was the one that told ya to do it cause we wanted ta know which one of us was right about how it looked! I was the leader here! How ya think we feel!?”

Scootaloo looked down. “I’m... sorry girls, it’s just I feel so angry and upset and hurt... Heartbreak didn’t even really apologize or say that she was sorry for whatever happened... Not that she would... I don’t think she even likes us...”

There was a pause in the room. Taken at face value, Scootaloo was right. Heartbreak’s apology seemed half hearted, like she knew that this sort of thing could happen and that if it did happen ‘oh well, we can’t do anything about it.’ But the comment about H.B. not liking them? That seemed to come out of left field.

“Ah think whatever that mark did, it’s messin’ with ya. ‘Cause while her apology wasn’t the greatest... She’s been nothin’ but nice ta us.” Applebloom said, looking down at the blanket.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah! If she didn’t like us, why would she be doing all that stuff for us?” the filly scowled. “Most of the adults either tell us ‘no’ or find ways of hoofing us off to somepony else.”

“And what’s more?” Applebloom put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “If she didn’t like us, why would she go and tell a story about us?”

“Huh?” Scootaloo replied with a confused look on her face.

“Oh come on,” Applebloom replied rolling her eyes. “Skeeterroll - Scootaloo? Silver Bell - Sweetie Belle? And I’d bet apples to oranges that that ‘Bud’ in her story was an ‘Apple Bud!’”

“Oh my gosh!” Sweetie Belle said with a wide eyed jaw dropped expression. “How did I not see that!?”

Scootaloo sniffed hard and looked frustrated. “That still doesn’t explain why she didn’t say that she was sorry for what happened!”

“Ah...” Applebloom started. “Ah think she is sorry, Scootaloo. She just might be afraid to actually say it because she knows she hurt you... Granny Smith says that ‘Actions speak louder than words.’ And boy, her actions were speakin’ real loud. Ya should have seen how she reacted ta Sweetie Belle an’ me, she wanted Sweetie Belle ta get that chocolate right away, an she was yellin’ an screamin’ an hollerin’ at ya ta come back! She was terrified... not terrified that she had done somethin’ wrong, but at losin’ ya...”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle said. “And she doesn’t even know us!”

Scootaloo sniffed hard. Were her friends right? All she remembered was waking up in Heartbreak’s arms with the taste of chocolate in her mouth. She was looking really frightened, there were tear stains down her face. Then she started to smile and was hugging her tightly. She was whispering something, something that was hard to make out through the choked up words.

“F-f-forgive me, Scootaloo...please...please...forgive me...”

Scootaloo bit her lip. “Still! She should put a warning sign on it... I would say that she should cover it up or something, but we all saw how that went. It’s just so hard... I thought she was strange before, what with the hole in her hoof, but now I have all these weird feelings about her and none of them are good... And all because of that... mark.”

A moment of clarity flickered over Applebloom’s face. “How do ya think she feels, Scoots?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Not this again. Look you already got me with how she felt about me touching the thing, you don’t-”

Applebloom waggled her hooves. “No, no, no! Not that...” She looked at Scootaloo intently. “How do ya think she feels with that thing on her rump? Ah mean, ya only touched it for a few moments... She has ta live with it everyday.”

The three little fillies looked horrified at the prospect of that idea.

“Wow... That’s like the one time you gave yourself cutie pox, Applebloom,” Scootaloo commented. “Only far worse.”

“Maybe that’s why she acts the way she does... Her mark is forcing her to?” Sweetie Belle asked her head falling to greet her pillow. She almost jumped up right away. “Hey! Maybe Zecora can help! Maybe-”

Scootaloo shook her head. “That... mark... it’s different, Sweetie Belle. I should know, remember?” She waved her hoof at her friend. “My leg is still kind of numb. Besides, didn’t you two say that she’s been living with Twilight ever since she arrived here in Ponyville? Don’t you think that the Twilight Sparkle would have done something by now, if she could have?”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked down disappointedly at the blanket in front of them. Twilight was the expert on magic and Heartbreak had been in Ponyville for over four months now! If she couldn’t have figured it out by now... Either she was still working on it, or there might not be any hope.

“I-I guess I hadn’t thought about that,” Sweetie Belle said quietly. “You think that’s why she wants to be out here away from the other ponies?”

“It could be...” Scootaloo replied biting her tongue on a few choice phrases that she could say at the moment.

“That’s just awful... Always havin’ ta watch out where yer goin’ in cause ya accidentally bump inta somepony...” Applebloom stated her head falling down to meet her pillow. “Gorsh-Dern it!” Her hoof smacked down hard on the pillow.

“What is it?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“All of this is so unfair! An’ ah feel so powerless!” Appleboom replied.

“Do you think Applejack knows about it too?” Sweetie Belle whispered.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she did... I bet all of the six of them know about it...” Scootaloo looked distantly at the wall in front of her. “Even... Rainbow Dash...”

Applebloom let out a frustrated groan. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! If anypony knows anythin’ about cutie marks, it’s us! We ought ta be able ta do -somethin’- about this!” Applebloom turned back over and stared at the ceiling. “Ah mean, a cutie mark that not only makes you sad, but anypony who touches it sad? That’s gotta be the worst special talent ever! An’ all cause she told some super sad story!”

“I said that I didn’t buy that whole story about her getting her mark because she told a sad story, Applebloom. And I think that just what happened just confirms it...” Scootaloo said. “I think she was just making that part up so we wouldn’t ask any more questions. If I said it before, I’ll say it again. That thing isn’t a real cutie mark.” Sweetie Belle’s lip quivered and she started sniffling. “What’s wrong now?”

“W-w-what if... What if that thing keeps her from getting her real cutie mark?” Sweetie Belle whimpered. “What...what if she never gets her real cutie mark? Or learns what her real special talent is?!”

Applebloom’s eyes widened and her mouth frowned so hard that it hurt. “Sweetie Belle, j-j-just stop it now! Wow, that’s just even more depressin’!”

“I can’t help it!” Sweetie Belle sniffled hard. “At least we have the chance to earn ours...”

Scootaloo tried to process that only to receive a flood of horrible emotions. “Whoa... I never thought about that before... I mean, Twilight once said that there isn’t any magic that can give you a cutie mark, but she never said that there wasn’t magic that would stop you from getting one!”

Applebloom glared at the ceiling, that little revelation only furthered the depressing mood of this whole situation. It was like there was no hope for Heartbreak. “An’ if anypony could use some hope... It’s her.”

Then she shot up in the bed as an idea suddenly dawned on her. “That’s it girls! Ah know a way we can help her!”

Scootaloo sat up and looked confused at Applebloom. “I thought we just agreed that we couldn’t do anything to get rid of that fake evil mark, ” Scootaloo said.

Applebloom looked at her friends. “That’s true, but it don’t mean that we can’t help her some other way! After all, ya’ve been saying it yourself there, Scootaloo!”

Scootaloo looked confused. “Buh? I did?”

“Yeah!” Applebloom hushed her voice and a bright smile creeped upon her face. “That mark might not come off, but it isn’t a real cutie mark! And if it isn’t a real cutie mark...” She waited for one of them to finish her thought.

“Then... it’s like she doesn’t have a cutie mark...” Sweetie Belle blinked as she caught on. “But that would mean... She’s just like us!”

“That’s right!” Applebloom said. “An’ if that’s the case...”

The two smiling fillies looked at Scootaloo. “What?” Suddenly it hit her. “Oh no... That’s not going to work either...”

“Oh, come on!” Sweetie Belle cried out.

“Yeah! Ah know ya have some harsh feelings towards her ‘cause of what just happened, Scootaloo. But everypony needs a little hope, an’ sure, she can be a bit of a ... what was that word she used in place of... Uhm ya know...” Applebloom scratched her ankle, not wanting to say that word. After all, like her sister had said, ‘Ya might not be a sophisticate like them there Canterlot ponies, but that don’t mean ya ought ta be muddin’ yer language up like other ponies who will not be mentioned.’

“Cankernag?” Scootaloo replied rolling her eyes.

“Scootaloo! Keep yer voice down!” Applebloom said scolding her friend. Half of her was worried that Heartbreak could still hear them. The other half was flinching at the mention of those two words together.

“Come on, Scootaloo... We did let Babs in!” Sweetie Belle said pleadingly.

“Maybe... but look how old she is!” Scootaloo said, grasping at straws. Her two friends gave a, ‘are you serious?’ expression. She sighed. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea! I mean, seriously, you two keep going on about what you saw, and you’ve seen how she acts! She can be a bit of a bully for an adult!”

Sweetie Belle got up and went over to the other side of Scootaloo. “Maybe... but we got Babs to turn over a new leaf too, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Applebloom looked at Scootaloo. “Besides Scoots, yer never too old ta be crusaderin’ fer somethin’...”

Scootaloo sighed and shook her head. “I just don’t think it will work, girls.” She could already see Sweetie Belle’s mouth forming a protest. She quickly put up a hoof. “And It’s not for any of those lame reasons I just said either... After thinking about all that... You might be onto something... But-” She paused.

“But what?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“She’s not going to go for it. I mean we can ask her, but you’ve seen how she reacts to other ponies giving her gifts or things. Didn’t Rarity say that Twilight had to practically trick her into taking this house? And she’s most likely taking it because she wants to be away from other ponies. Plus, she keeps going on about not wanting to be a, ‘Mary Sue,’ whatever that means. And if we just ask her or offer what I think you two are thinking, she’s most likely just going to turn us down flat.” Scootaloo explained.

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Yeah... you should have heard the huff that Rarity made when H.B. turned down a dress being made for her... And she was really reluctant about the bicycle, not to mention the gem pens! And Rarity would never just give those things to just anypony!”

Applebloom looked down at the blanket and then at the wall in front of her. A determined expression crept onto her face. “Well then girls, we’re just going to have to make her an offer that she can’t refuse. Y'all with me?” She put her hoof out.

Sweetie Belle put her hoof out. “I am!” The two looked at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. This was why she was friends with these two. Even through the horrible things? They could remind her about what they really were all about. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Trying new things is what we do,” She rolled her eyes again and put her hoof forward. “but you better have a plan to pull this off, otherwise she’s just going to turn us down.”

“Oh, ah have a plan alright.” She huddled close to her friends in a circle. “Super Cutie Mark Crusaders Ninja Force Team Go, take two!”

==============================================================

I am feeling nothing but pain right now.

Horrible, searing, heart-wracking pain. “That might be a bit over dramatic-” Shut up! It hurts! There’s no minimizing this! It hurts! It hurts worse than when Mars berated me, it hurts worse than when Applejack chided me! It hurts damn it!

There are ponies who I looked up to on this show. Ponies that I...found... Damn it. I can’t think this without it sounding weird. And it shouldn’t sound weird. Seriously, what the fuck brain? Can’t you just say that you... liked the character? There were characters on the show that I liked.

Scootaloo was one of them.

Before she earned her mark, when I first learned more about that little tomboyish filly, I thought she was cool. I wondered about her, if she had a family or if she was an orphan, if she would ever really fly. She could perform amazing tricks on her scooter and was always determined never to show fear.

She was the least girly of the three crusaders and the one who I was always rooting for. She was struggling with her flying and I was like, ‘Come on, Scoots. You can do it!’ She got covered in tree sap and I’d laugh while she washed off before going onto the next adventure. I watched as she learned how to flit and kinda fly. Not like the other pegasi, mind you, but still. How she became more brave, bold, and daring. How she faced her fears on a camping trip and got Rainbow Dash to be a sister.

I wish I had micron of the self-confidence that that little filly possesses... or possessed. I wish I could face my fears here. But I have so many of them I wouldn’t know where to start. My fear of Celestia, my fear of interacting with these ponies, my fear of what I am, of what I will have to become just to keep my mind, what I could become. The fear of the thing on my flank, the fear of others finding out what I really am on every level. The fear of never seeing Her again. The fear of failing Princess Luna. Fuck, my fear of failing all the ponies here.

The fear that that little filly is right. I’m a monster. I’ve been turned into a monster or maybe I always was a monster but just didn’t know it or just didn’t see it…

As I curl up on my blanket less couch, I am reminded of the many nights and years that I spent on other people’s couches. First, on my mom’s couch when I had to move back in with her, then on a roommate by the name of Telegrand, then on her couch. Alright, so that’s only three couches that I can think of. But give me a fucking break! I have a weird evil mark on my ass that has reminded me three times that it can suck the joy and happiness from others who touch it!

A cold draft wafts in through the room causing me to shiver some. “Good, monsters like you don’t deserve to be warm they deserve to be-” Shut up, Goth Bunny!

“What? I’m only stating the truth, no need to get you overwear in a bunch,” Shut up, Goth Bunny! Stop trying to make me cry! I am perfectly capable of doing that to myself!

“Don’t you remember? I am you! This is you making yourself cry! Just like you make everypony, and every being that you encounter cry...” Shut... up, Goth Bunny…

“See? Even you know it’s true... You made Rarity cry, and Sweetie Belle cry, and Applebloom cry, and worst still, Scootaloo...one of these days you’ll make Spike cry and Starchaser cry and -”

I said shut up!

“Just... let me sleep... Let me sleep... I can’t handle your..” Shit, “Right now... Just let me sleep...please?” I whimper, my eyes darting towards the mark. Does it talk to me? Is that why my little goth bunny here is so strong? I didn’t used to talk down to myself this much... I really didn’t…

“Fine fucker, see you in the funny pages...” My breathing finally slows down and I feel relaxed. Today was horrible. Just... horrible. I doubt that the face beneath my skin talks to me. But I’m sure the thing that the Nine put in my flank is alive. I can feel it writhe, I can feel it twinge, I can feel it burn, I know it changes... Though for the moment, all that subsides and I feel a calmness flow over me…

“Take me Sleep, be mine lover for but this night, caress me, hold me tight and tell me that everything will be alright...” I let out a small chuckle as my eyes grow heavy and I lose consciousness. “That could be a good poem one of these days...”

==============================================================

Rarity sat in what had to be the worst looking sewing room that this house had to offer. Before she came in, there were cobwebs everywhere, dust on the floors and in nooks and crannies, all the cloth was moth-chewed and smelled like mildew.

Even with some time to mull things over in her mind, she still felt at odds with herself. And the recent visage in the nearby mirror did not help matters any.

She hates manipulation and reverse psychology, yet almost uses them on a regular basis just to help her push others away! Rarity sighed and sniffed hard. But am I any better for using the same tactics to draw others to me? Am I a horrible attention seeking- She shook her head as a vile word slithered its way into her thoughts. -cankernag as well?

She slammed her hooves on the old looking sewing table. No! That is that horrible mark talking! She should let Twilight look at that thing! I would look at it myself... but with what it did to my lovely pair of pants? There’s no doubt now that some form of dark magic is writhing in it. Was this the reason why Celestia wanted to erase Heartbreak’s memories? After all with the memories gone, so went the pain of the experiences and maybe even the mark...

That’s horrible... The only way to remove the mark is to remove who she is? Then again maybe- Rarity caught herself. No! That isn’t for the best! That is no form of mercy! That’s horrible to even dare think! Rarity! You fiend! You beast! You monster! How could you even think that!? Has Heartbreak pushed you this far out of your own character?

Rarity’s head fell to the sewing table and she sniffed hard. Is there no hope for her? Nothing that can be done?

Just then, a beam of light shone through the window. The moon was slowly rising over the treetops of the Everfree Forest. No! There can be something that can be done! If Princess Luna believes that a pony like Heartbreak can be redeemed, that she can be brought back to harmony, then so can I! Away with you, depressing thoughts! We can do this! We will do this!

Rarity smiled for a moment, but then that moment passed as a question nagged at her mind. But what is it we are meant to do? Everything else I have tried has only been met with rejection or failure... How am I ever to teach her of my element of harmony?

Rarity’s ears suddenly swiveled backward towards a knock that she heard at the door. It was too light of a knock to be Heartbreak’s hoof. It had to be one of the girls. She rubbed the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. Put on a brave face, Rarity. There’s no need for Sweetie Belle to see her sister a nervous wreck! Not after what happened.

The unsure young voice came through the door. “Rarity?”

Rarity took a deep breath and turned around. “Yes, Sweetie Belle?” As Sweetie Belle came in, she looked at her sister with big, scared, sad looking eyes and Heartbreak’s words came back to haunt her.

“That could have been your sister who had touched my mark. Maybe you ought to think about that.”

Almost instantly, Rarity rushed to her sister’s side and picked her up with her magic before embracing her tightly. “Oh, Sweetie Belle!” She began sobbing. “I am so sorry!”

“Ah!” Sweetie Belle yelped. “Rarity!” Scootaloo and Applebloom peered into the room.

“What’s going on?” Applebloom asked, however she too was grasped up in a lilac haze.

“Oh, Applebloom! Scoot-a-loo!” Rarity cried, nearly clutching all three fillies. “I’m so sorry, girls! What in Equestria was I thinking!?”

“Rarity...” Sweetie Belle gasped out as her friends looked at Rarity and then back at her.

“I put you all in such unnecessary danger!”

“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle cried out.

“It was so careless of me! What was I doing bringing you all here!? I’m a terrible sister!” Rarity sobbed in near hysterics.

“Rarity!” The three fillies cried out the best they could without getting too loud.

Rarity sniffed hard and looked at the girls. “I-I”

Sweetie Belle put her hoof on Rarity’s mouth. “It’s ok, Rarity. We’re okay.”

“A-a-are you sure? Heartbreak said that Scootaloo wasn’t responding, that she-” Rarity stopped and bit down on her hoof.

“We’re fine, Rarity.” Sweetie Belle said pushing her sister back. Her friends looked at her awkwardly.

“Are you sure you three are all right? You all look a bit frightened and - maybe I should contact Twilight,” Rarity stated as she put the three down.

“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle said in a firm tone. “We’re fine, it’s just...”

“It’s just what Sweetie Belle?” Rarity asked looking intently at her sister.

“Miss Rarity? We all want to help,” Applebloom said getting Rarity’s attention.

“Help?” Rarity blinked and looked confused.

“Yes,” Applebloom stepped forward. “We want ta help ya all with H.B.,”

Rarity looked at the three fillies in front of her. Normally if they had said something like this, she would have laughed and thought about how cute it was for them to take on something far bigger than themselves. All in the name of earning their cutie marks. But this time seemed different, there was a sincerity in their eyes, a... generosity that was coming right from their hearts.

“Girls...” Rarity felt a terrible pain passing through her as she thought about the fact that she may have to crush whatever hopes they had. “I’m sure that your hearts might be in the right places, but I’m not sure that Twilight would allow it. And don’t misunderstand me when I say this, but with what’s happened? I think that you would be in over your heads... I should know...” She said sadly. “With what H.B. has been through -”

Scootaloo had been looking away at the ground sadly this entire time. But then she turned and looked at Rarity with determination and tears in her eyes. “Look! We don’t care what she’s been through! We don’t know what it was, but whatever it was, nopony should have ever had to go through it! Ever!” She sniffed hard and wiped her face.

Applebloom comforted her friend. “It’s alright, Scoots.” She looked at Rarity. “Ma’am? Look, we ain’t asking to be let in on the full story about what’s going on with H.B. And we know that there isn’t somethin' right with that there pony.”

“Kinda hard not to know after...” Scootaloo looked at her hoof. The ankle was still a bit numb and there was a streak of black still in the nail. “Something like that happening.”

“But we want ta help, cause it just ain’t right not to! It just ain’t fair!” Applebloom cried out.

“Girls...” Rarity began in a soothing manner. “At least this event has done nothing to tarnish their spirits...”

Sweetie Belle looked up at Rarity with the biggest, saddest most pleading eyes she could muster. “Would you at least hear us out, Rarity? Applebloom has come up with a plan that she thinks is sure to help H.B.! We know it won’t fix whatever’s broken inside her, but it wouldn’t hurt to listen to what she has would it? After all, you’re a part of it! You get to help too!”

Rarity found herself at odds for but a moment. She was finally understanding why Heartbreak was wanting to avoid the little fillies with the faces that they could make. On the one hoof, she wanted to protect her sister and her friends to make up for the mistake that she made by bringing them here. On the other hoof, she had been at her wits end about helping Heartbreak. Maybe a fresh perspective could finally -

Suddenly she found herself fighting the urge to turn away from those wide, dewy, pleading eyes in front of her. Gah! I see what she means about 'that face'! I can’t stand looking at Sweetie Belle when she’s giving me that face for too long! She thought.

“I suppose,” Rarity sighed. “it wouldn’t hurt to see what you three girls have come up with.”

Sweetie Belle gave her friends a smirk as to say, ‘still got it!’ “Applebloom, you came up with this idea, why don’t you show her, ‘the plan?’”

Applebloom reached up and pulled a slightly tattered and folded up piece of paper from out of her bow. “Ah think yer gonna like this...”

Rarity magically lifted the paper up and unfolded it. The reaction was almost instant as large tears started to form in her eyes. “Oh...girls... this is ...perfect! But...” her voice dropped. “You know how she is about accepting things, how do you ever hope to-”

Sweetie Belle held up her hoof to her sister. “You just leave that part up to us, Rarity...”

Scootaloo folded her arms and looked at Rarity. “All we want to know is: Will you help us?”

“Will I help you?” Rarity refolded the paper and hugged the three fillies. “Just try and stop me! Oh! I'll get started right away!”

==============================================================

The room was still and quiet, save for the sound of a soft snore. Heartbreak was now finally fast asleep on the couch, her face was crumpled in sadness, her cheeks still stained with tears.

As the door slowly opened, a totem pole of three faces with big bright eyes popped into the moonlit room. They watched and waited for a moment to see if they had awoken their target. After a few brief minutes, the two on the bottom of the pole looked at the top and nodded.

Scootaloo flipped off the backs of her two friends and dove into the room. Her wings fluttered to slow her descent and give her a near soundless landing. In her mouth was clutched something large that made a light nose as the wind whipped against it.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle cringed and fought the urge to whimper. Everything needed to be done just so, otherwise Heartbreak would have woken up, and most likely their plans would be spoiled.

Scootaloo quietly zipped closer to the sleeping mare. “Alright, you can do this Scootaloo, just have to-” Just then, something moved out of the corner of her eye.

It was the mark.

Cracks in the mark started to shift and change like they did the first time she touched the thing. On either half of the upper part, wide almost diamond shapes opened up, taking on the appearance of a set of creepy looking eyes. On the lower half of the broken heart a long, narrow crack formed into that of some twisted smile.

Scootaloo froze in horror. Heartbreak’s mark looked like it was... happy to see her. It kept twisting and moving. It was trying to lure her in again…

“Come clossssser....Come-”

“Scootaloo!” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle whisper shouted.

“Huh?” Scootaloo said in a normal volume voice. Almost instantly she covered her mouth. Had she woken Heartbreak?

The mare grimaced in her sleep and turned her back to the little filly. As she turned, the mark went to facing the couch. Heartbreak let out a contented sigh and her sleeping continued unabated.

Scootaloo wiped a small drop of sweat off her forehead. She shuddered and shook her head. No way that fetting mark was going to get the better of her this time! She took the cloth out of her mouth and with a sudden quickness, jumped onto Heartbreak’s back tying the girls’ precious gift around her neck.

Heartbreak almost shot awake instantaneously. “Gah! Aaah! What’s happening? What’s going on!?”

==============================================================

I scream out in a panic as I feel like something just attacked me. I realize that there is a tightness coming from around my neck as I fumble around for the lamp beside my couch.

“I! I! I!” I shout trying to make sense of the first five seconds of awareness I am experiencing. Just then the light is tapped on, not by my hoof but by someone else’s. I blink as my eyes painfully adjust and attempt to recognize anything around me. Gaining my wits, I hear the fluttering of wings pass over me and then two shapes registering in front of the couch. It’s Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. I try to shake off the feeling of tiredness and irritability that has grasped me.

“Surprise!” I hear the three shout.

“Gah! What’s going on!? What are you three doing here?! Didn’t you have enough the first time?! And, and what’s this around my -” I look over and am stunned by what I am seeing.

It’s a cape.... a red cape with the CMC emblem sewn neatly on the corner.

“What’s... this?” I ask completely mystified. The girls are looking at me with big sad eyes. Fuck, please don’t tell me they are going to do-

Applebloom clears her throat and gives me a serious look. “H.B., as leader and founder of the first chapter of the Cutie Mark Crusaders-”

“Oh no...” I facehoof. Fuck, it is. “Girls, what do you think you’re doing?”

Scootaloo peers up at me from over the back of the couch and looks down at her friends. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom look at each other.

Applebloom gives me a really sad look. “We’re offerin’ ya membership into our here club...”

Her saying that is kind of flooring me. Maybe it’s the fact that I just woke up combined with the fact that the girls have surprised me with this, but I’m not sure what to say.

“Girls... that’s really... nice of you,” I start. Fuck, I can feel myself growing a bit choked up about this. “I’m not sure what to say...”

“Ooo! Ooo! I know! I know!” Sweetie Belle raises her hoof. “Say, ‘yes!’”

Good grief, the adorableness factor is going through the roof. Right, try to handle this tactfully, I’ve already hurt them once. I don’t want to hurt them again... I look over at the clock. Ten thirty-seven. It has only been about an hour and a half from when the, ‘incident,’ happened.

“Girls... You three should be in bed... and... away from me...”

“We couldn’t sleep...” Applebloom replies.

“Don’t you think that I’m a little too... old for your club? I mean if I get a job, I won’t have enough time, and besides, I already have my mark...” I ask fighting off my emotions.

“H.B.,” Applebloom steps forward. “We all know that your situation is...” She rolls her hoof and looks to the side.

“Special,” Sweetie Belle pipes.

“Yeah! Special. An we know that there are things about ya that are weird,” Applebloom continues.

“Like the hole in your hoof,” Scootaloo comments.

“But we also know that there is something not right with ya, an we would like to do our darndest ta help ya!”

Fuck, this version of the CMC is smarter than I give them credit for. Either that or they just were able to put the pieces together really easily.

“Officially there isn’t an age limit, an we’re the ones that get ta agree on who gets in and who doesn’t. After all...” Applebloom looks at me square in the eye. “Like ah told Scootaloo here: Yer never too old ta be crusadin’ fer somethin’.”

Fucking-a, that slogan sounds like it belongs on the inside of a Cutie Mark Crusaders Hallmark Card. It’s so smoltzy! So tear jerking! Gah! I bite my lower lip hard to keep from tearing up. “I-I don’t know-”

“We’re not saying you have to join our club.. Or be a full time member!” Sweetie Belle interjects. “And even if you turn us down, we will still let you keep the cape!”

“We will?” Scootaloo asks. The other two fillies shoot her a glance. “Heh! Yeah! We totally will.”

Heh, seems like they still have their sense of humor even after dealing with a pony like me. I look down sadly. “Girls...I’m not sure how joining your club is going to help me... After all, it’s all about earning cutie marks and -”

I feel a hoof on my shoulder. Scootaloo is giving me a serious, sad, and determined look. It’s an expression I don’t expect from a filly her age. Fuck, I wouldn’t expect it from a human her age. “Look, you and I know that that thing isn’t a real cutie mark. And like my friends helped me understand, if it isn’t a real cutie mark, then you’re just like us. A blank flank.”

“Girls... I don’t think just crusading for whatever my,” I roll my eyes at the notion of what I am about to say. “Special talent is, is going to get rid of this thing.”

“If ya never try, then ya’ll never know if it will or won’t!” Applebloom protests.

“Yeah! I mean, we’ve tried hundreds of times to earn our cutie marks and came up empty hooved! But that doesn’t mean we’ve failed.” Sweetie Belle exclaims.

Scootaloo leans forward more, her head nearly right next to mine while she hangs over the back of the couch. “Yeah!” She laughs a bit. “It just means that we know hundreds of ways how not to earn our cutie marks!”

Geez, their hope, their attitude, their cheerfulness and even that strange reference that sounds almost like Thomas Edison is a bit infectious. I am finding myself wanting to join them! But something is still holding me back…

“I just don’t want to be...a sue...” I reply weakly. The girls around me start to look disappointed.

Scootaloo retreats back behind the couch. “I told you she’d say something like that, Applebloom...” She mutters looking at her friends. Fuck, their sad faces are becoming too much for me…That’s the time that I hear hoof beats enter the room. Looking up I see Rarity. And surprise, surprise: she’s frowning at me.

Her expression softens rather quickly. “May I come in?” She asks.

I search my feelings. Maybe it’s the fact that I just got an offer by the CMC to join them, maybe it’s the fact that there’s three fillies in front of me and I don’t want to set a bad example or maybe the sudden shift in Rarity’s body language that says that she’s readying for an apology or just maybe all three. Whatever it is, she’s not setting me off, so I nod but avoid eye contact. Her last words to me are still burning in my ears despite all those aforementioned things.

“Girls, you don’t mind if I interject something, now do you?” Rarity asks in a very polite tone. They shake their heads and she smiles before clearing her throat. “H.B., I feel the need to apologize for our little spat." She takes a deep breath. "It’s just that I so much wanted you to learn the lesson that I thought you should have learned, that I became blind to what I was doing. Much like trying to force you into a dress that you didn’t want.”

Rarity apologizing isn’t a new thing or anything that is flooring me. The way she’s doing it after all this constant bickering and fighting that is. There’s a true sincerity that I’m picking up that I hadn’t before. Then again, maybe I was blinded by my own confirmation bias and - fetlocks. Why am I having an internal monolog about this?

“It’s... alright, Rarity.” I reply. “You weren’t the only one a bit blind in all this. I had certain assumptions about you before I met you. I would like to apologize for acting on those assumptions,” Yeah, that sounds like what I should say and what I am feeling. If Rarity can apologize for what’s been going on our little spat? So can I.

“Now with that said-” Rarity begins.

I let out a little groan and roll my eyes. Fuck, I should have known that this was a two part thing.

“With that said,” She repeats, bending down and looking at me in the face. “I would like to point something out. If I may, that is?”

I kinda want to point out that her tone is rather condescending, but right now? It’s the middle of the night and I was just woke up from my sleep by three fillies that want me to join their club for reasons that are still baffling me.

“I suppose I can’t do anything to stop you, Rarity...” She quirks her brow at me. “I mean... Yes. Yes you may.”

“These girls are generously offering you a place as one of their club members because they feel the need to help you, H.B., in whatever way they can,” Rarity states.

“I get that part already, Rarity... I’m just worried that if I do-”

“That you’ll be a, ‘sue.’” Rarity takes a deep breath. “H.B., when you were trying to explain to me what a, ‘sue,’ was, I wasn’t terribly sure if I was fully grasping the concept. But there was one thing that stood out to me. You said that there is a sue for anything?”

“Yeah.” Alright, that’s weird, I’m not sure where Rarity is going to go with this question. “There’s the general sue who always gets her way for no explicable reason, there’s the Einstein sue that just knows everything and has all the answers just at the right time, the god sue that has no problems to solve because they’ve, ‘magicked them away.’ The-”

Rarity puts a hoof up near my mouth. “That’s quite enough,” She takes a deep breath. “I just want to know something about all these Sues.”

“Alright...” Again, not seeing where this is going.

“If there is a sue for everything, then anypony could claim any character to be a sue, couldn’t they?” She asks.

“I guess they could, but that wouldn’t be right because most sues don’t have flaws...”

“Right, but they could make the claim anyhow if they wanted to, correct?” She looks at me with an almost knowing look in her eyes.

“If they wanted to be wrong about things from time to time, I suppose,” I reply, sighing. My eyes dart to the old clock on the wall. Ten-fifty. I really wish she would just get the final destination with this train of thought already.

“And you have protested pretty much the whole time that you and I have been working together that you want to avoid being a sue.”

“Yes, Rarity,” I roll my hoof at her hoping that she’ll get to her point already. “Look, you’re really starting to sound like a broken record here. And I would like to point out that it is still the middle of the night and I am very drained. So, what are you trying to get at?”

“Well,” She taps her hoof on the ground. “It just seems to me, and keep in mind, darling that this is just my opinion and I could be completely wrong about this. Could it be possible that constantly pushing ponies away. Constantly isolating yourself, constantly turning down any interaction in fear that it might lead to a friendship forming and even constantly worrying about being a, ‘Mary Sue-’”

“Yeeeeeeeeeees?” I ask growing frustrated.

“Could that lead you to becoming the very thing you are attempting to avoid? Could that be considered a form of Mary Sue in of itself?” She asks. “That you simply have no problems due to the fact that you never face them?”

I blink and tilt my head as the concept of what she has just implanted in my brain comes to realization. “Fffffffetlocks!”

Sweetie Belle taps Rarity on the shoulder. “What’s she mean by that this time?”

Rarity’s expression turns smug. “It means that I’m right.”

I roll my eyes and glare at Rarity. “Gee, thanks for turning this wonderful profound zen moment into a ‘Rarity is finally right’ moment.”

She laughs a bit and then gives me a serious look. “Darling, I do apologize, but I have been so utterly wrong with you on so many levels for the time we’ve been together, that I can’t help but celebrate just a little.”

“I haven’t exactly made it easy for you, have I?” I ask regretfully.

“No you haven’t,” She puts a hoof on my shoulder. “But Rainbow Dash isn’t the only pony here who can be up for a challenge.”

“I guess she isn’t,” I reply.

“So, does that mean that you’ll join us?!” Sweetie Belle rings out. I drop my head and groan a bit.

“You do know that they are fairly persistent, Darling...” Rarity quips with a slight giggle.

I weigh the options in my head. Join the crusaders or sulk alone in my house. This bears repeating, but you know they are never going to give you up.... I swear brain. You start singing that song... I open my eyes to see that not only are all three CMC’s giving me the big eyed expression, but Rarity has joined in as well.

==============================================================

“Aaaaargh! Fine! Alright! Just stop with the puppy eyes already!” Heartbreak shouted. The small group cheered and smiled. “BUT!” She held up a hoof and looked at them sternly.

“But?” Applebloom asked.

“But, my house rules still apply when you’re at my house... This place still needs lots of work. And!”

“And?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“And I’m not a full fledged member... I’m an ‘Honorary Member.’” The three little fillies smiled and nodded at Heartbreak. “So that means that you can’t bug me all the time. Just... drop by once every two weeks or something like that...”

“We’ll do that, but ya got ta promise that ya’ll come by Golden Oaks Library every Tuesday ta read ta the colts and fillies there!” Applebloom interjected.

Heartbreak sighed. “Geez... put me on a schedule why don’t-”

“It’s all part and parcel to make sure that you are living up to the Cutie Mark Crusader way of life!” Sweetie Belle chirped. “Besides, Rarity said that our plan to get you to join was almost perfect! It just needed a few added touches.”

Heartbreak eyed Rarity. “She did, did she?”

Rarity hummed and attempted to look innocent. Finally, she broke and turned to Heartbreak. “Well, we can’t have you cooped up in your house all the time doing projects, plus you seemed really good with them last time... and I’m sure that you don’t want them wandering out so close to the Everfree Forest just to find where their favorite reader is.” she fluttered her eyes a bit. “Do you?”

“Gah... it is too late to be thinking about these things, Rarity... but I guess not. Just as long as none of this requires that I have to wear a dress.” Heartbreak replied.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to the side of her mouth. “You don’t have anything to worry about there, H.B.” She smiled gleefully. “While you were asleep, I was able to whittle my sister away from the idea of having you wear a dress.” Rarity merely shook her head and chuckled at her sister.

“Good to know. Thank you, Sweetie Belle.” Heartbreak’s hoof shot up. “ALSO! One more thing!”

“Uuuuuugh! One more thing?!” Scootaloo groaned, rolling her eyes. “Why can’t we just swear you in and be done with it already!?”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about,” Heartbreak sighed and looked over at Scootaloo. “Can I not do the long winded, extended swearing in with the drums?”

“But that’s the best part!” Scootaloo protested.

“Fffffine, we’ll keep the drums but how about I write my own oath and present it to you tomorrow?” Heartbreak rolled her eyes and turned her head, looking at the little filly behind her. “You know, after we’ve all gotten some actual sleep? I don’t know if you three got my memo... but H.B. is getting tired..” She said, letting out a wide yawn.

Just then she felt something latch onto her. Looking down she found herself nearly freezing at the sight of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle hugging her around the neck.

Scootaloo proceeded to reach over the couch and joined her friends in the awkward display of affection. “Deal!”

At first, Heartbreak looked like she didn’t know what to do, after all the last time she had a filly hugging her, it only ended in tears. But as the hug continued, she slowly began to smile, a small blush passing over her face. Almost without thinking about it, her hoof reached up and touched Scootaloos.

“Thank you girls.” She whispered. “Now,” Her voice rising slightly. “Can you please, please, please go to bed? It’s way past any filly’s bedtime and one of the rules of my house is that you need to be in bed by at least... whatever the fet the time is right now.”

The little fillies laughed and hugged a little tighter before letting go. “Come on girls! We still have a big day ahead tamarrow, what with a new member an all!” Applebloom cheerfully beamed as she waved them out of the room.

“Yeah, new member...” Heartbreak shook her head and chuckled.

“Good night, H.B.! Good Night, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle chimed, following Applebloom out of the room.

“Hey! Wait up!” Scootaloo called out, as she hopped carefully over the back of the couch.

Heartbreak looked up at the three leaving fillies. “Scootaloo?”

The orange filly paused and looked back at Heartbreak. “Yeah?”

“A-a-are you alright?” She asked, biting her lip. “Cause, I didn’t mean to... I mean I didn’t want-” She took a deep breath before letting it out. “I-”

“I get it, H.B.” Scootaloo replied. “You didn’t mean to hurt me. And you’re really sorry.” Heartbreak responded by nodding and sniffing rather hard.

Scootaloo glared at Heartbreak’s flank. At that mark... that horrible dark twisting thing. “It’s ok, H.B.”

“A-a-are you sure?” Heartbreak asked, practically whimpering.

“Yeah... ‘Cause as far as I’m concerned?” Scootaloo shot a glance at the mark before looking back at Heartbreak. “It wasn’t you that hurt me.”

Heartbreak smiled. “Alright, you have a good night there Scoots.”

“You too, H.B.” The little pegasus paused in the doorway. “Oh, and H.B.?”

“Yeah, Scoots?”

“You’re terrible when it comes to apologies, you... might want to work on that.” Scootaloo replied.

Heartbreak’s ears drooped slightly. “Oh...”

“But hey, at least you’re great at telling stories, and that’s got to account for something right?” Scootaloo said, walking out the door to join her friends.

“Right...” Heartbreak replied.

==============================================================

After the three of them leave, I look up and shake my head at Rarity. “Alright, I’m confused. Did I just get shanghaied into joining your sister and her friends’ little club?”

“I’m afraid you did, Darling.” Rarity is looking at me proudly. Like I’ve done something.

“Alright, I must be thick as mud, ‘cause, really? I have no idea why they just did that. I mean other than to give me a cape and get me out of the house so I don’t become a shut in.”

Rarity smiles softly at me. “H.B., I could explain to you the reasons that the girls gave me before I helped them sew up your new cape, but you’ve expressed that you’re a very tired mare right now, so I’ll give you the abridged version.”

“Heh, how generous of you...”

“Quite simply put, I’m afraid that while we girls have been trying to get you what you need to survive here in Equestria, we haven’t been very...” she puts her hoof up to her chin in thought. “Welcoming.”

“That’s not altogether true, Rarity. There have been plenty of times where Twilight, Spike and even Applejack have given me things. Or let me into their homes or-”

“But do you feel at home? Do you feel welcomed here?” Rarity asks me.

“I...” I scratch my head. Twilight let me stay with her out of necessity, as did Applejack. But overall, I still feel like an outsider of sorts. I’m still a human trapped in a pony body after all. A man trapped as a mare. “I... don’t really have a place to fit in Rarity. You know my situation, I’m struggling to find myself, let alone a place in the world...”

Rarity puts a hoof on my shoulder. “And that’s what these three fillies are offering you, H.B. A starting point from where you can belong and a way to help find yourself. The girls and I have found a way of giving you a house, my sister and her friends are trying to help that house feel more like home. After all what is a house without the feeling-”

I put my hoof on Rarity’s mouth. “Alright, alright, I get it. Enough with the smoltzy stuff, you’re going to wreck the feeling by making it that sugary sweet.”

She smiles at me, geez, her mane is looking all sorts of frazzled and her mascara is running. “Sorry.”

“You know,” I blink. “You could say that those three fillies were better at teaching me about your element than you were.”

“Bwha?” Rarity gasps taken aback.

Great, now I’ve killed the moment by insulting her. Cleanup on aisle Heartbreak. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Rarity. You brought them here and you said some pretty profound things. But... those girls did a better job. And that’s not a bad thing. In fact it could be lesson in of itself to write about.”

“Alright, now I’m the one who’s confused...” Rarity says, cocking her head.

“This whole time, I was looking to you for a lesson about Generosity. I mean that seems like the logical place to start. And not only were you six charged with teaching me, but you were so set on teaching it, and no offense by my next statement here, our narrow mindedness got in the way that, while you are known for being generous. Anyp-p-pony can be generous.”

The both of us blink in a rather zen of that thought. Either that or it was confusing as fuck.

“I...think I get what you are saying. We girls maybe the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, but the elements themselves exist within the hearts-”

“And minds-”

Rarity gives a light laugh. “The hearts and minds of all ponies.”

“Maybe even all beings,” I conclude, reaching over for my saddlebags. “And, despite my exhaustion, I believe those things are lessons worth writing about to the Princess.” I raise my eyebrows. Fuck, I realized most of this lesson myself. That might actually be a sign of progress. “Don’t you?”

Rarity smiles. “Please, let me help you this time.” She plucks a sheet of paper and my mechanical pencil out of my saddlebag. As the pencil floats in the air, she looks at the device in confusion. “Uhm, how does this work?”

“Let me look at it,” She floats it over and I tap the pencil button. “There. I take it that after this, we’re going to fire up the magical fireplace and test to see if it works?”

“I don’t see why not... If it doesn’t, we can always take the letter to Spike tomorrow,” She smirks at me. “After your initiation ceremony of course.”

“Of...course,” There is a bit of embarrassment to joining a club meant for little fillies without their cutie marks. But hey, if the horse shoe fits? I cough. “Are you ready?”

Rarity has my pencil to the paper. “Whenever you are, darling.”

“Alright, copy me word for word, no abridging or editing...”

“Darling, you have my word that I won’t change a dot or tittle!” she replies.

I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts. Looking up, I see my hourglass on the high shelf where I had Rarity place it. “Mind bringing that thing down first?” I ask nervously.

Rarity floats it down and sets it on the nightstand next to the lamp. “Alright, I’m ready, H.B.”

"Dear Princess Celestia,

This month, I was told to spend time with Rarity. I will admit that she and I are very different individuals with few things in common. Though, sometimes we have more in common than either one of us wants to admit.

We both love art and creating things, but how we express ourselves and what we do is very different. I will admit that it has caused some rather harsh chafing between the two of us, and that I would have much rather learned from her farther down the road than at this juncture in my life. But after much trial and tribulation, I have learned a few things to write to you about.

I learned that while the mane six may be known as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, that doesn't mean that I have to learn lessons about the Elements from them directly. Sometimes, you can learn about these things from the most inconspicuous and surprising places. What I mean by this is, that while Rarity is known for her generosity: It was her younger sister, Sweetie Belle and her two friends, Applebloom and Scootaloo that I learned about the element of Generosity.

That while the act of generosity might involve giving something, it isn't always about giving things that are tangible. After all, a house is a house, but without the feeling of being welcomed? Without realizing that you can belong somewhere? Or the feeling behind the act of being given something, the feeling of Generosity is lost and it becomes a dry obligation. Doing something because that’s what you’ve been told to, or because you feel like you have to. Not because you actually want to do.

What I mean to say is: A house is just the materials it’s made of and it's far from ever being a -home-. And these three fillies have made me feel welcomed to Equestria by inviting me to join their little club. You’re hearing from the first honorary member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Right, back to the matters of Harmony. What I guess I am trying to say is that the Elements of Harmony aren’t in just One pony, or even One being for that matter. They are in everypony and in every being.

The profound thing I learned about myself is what came from Rarity. As of late, I have been finding myself worrying over being a, ‘Mary Sue.’ An individual who all other ponies lives revolve around. When the girls were offering me a place among their little club, I was hesitant because of the various number of things that I have seen around me that are making me feel like things are revolving around me in some way.

It’s most likely made me look rather closed off from everypony else. However, when this was happening, Rarity pointed out that if I over worry about being a, ‘sue,’ and continue to push others away? Then in some strange way, I will eventually become the very thing that I want to avoid. A form of Mary Sue. An, ‘Avoidance Sue,’ if you will. I can’t make any promises about this, but I will attempt to be less closed off and more open to others company.

I also learned, that while I’m terrible at apologies, I’m great at telling stories. And that’s got to account for something, right?

Sincerely Signed,

A pony named Heartbreak."

I look at Rarity. She’s looking at me questioningly. “There’s nothing wrong is there?”

“Not... Really...” She replies.

“Rarity, when somep-p-pony says, ‘Not really?’ Usually it means that it means that there is,” I point at myself. “Remember who you’re talking to? H.B.? Master of denial?”

“Don’t you mean, ‘Mistress?’”

“I’m tired, Rarity. So sue me,” I gaff at the horrible pun I just made and give her a questioning look while waving my hoof back and forth.

She sighs, setting my pencil back in my backpack. “It was just... I was rather hoping at the end of all this, that we would be ...well... Friends.”

“Rarity, do you really want to be...fffriends with me? ‘Cause we really tend to rub each other the wrong way. And you don’t have to be... I mean if you don’t want to be...”

“I...” She pauses. I think she’s trying to spare my feelings here. “I do on some level, I can’t help it. As I said before, you’ve been through so much... And all of it has been so unfair...”

I sigh. “Rarity, It’s late, so how about I cut a deal with you.” I give her a pleading look. A part of this look is genuine, a part of it is a ‘please, please, pleeeeease let me go to sleep you crazy unicorn!’ and the last tiny part is just me being a slight bit manipulative. Maybe. “Let’s be frienemies.”

“Frienemies?”

“You’re not quite a fffriend, you’re not quite an enemy. I snark at you, you snark back. I make sarcastic quips and jabs, you make them back. I bring my artwork to you and ask what you think could use improvement, you give me a few pointers and maybe even pose for me every once in awhile.”

Rarity frowns. “Is this a common thing in Minneighsota? Having, ‘frienemies?’”

“Not sure, but I can assure you that you would be my first, ‘frienemy.’” I reply.

“Well... I’m not sure about just having some pony that I only have around to say mean things to...” She replies questioningly.

“We won’t always say mean things to each other. And if we do, we’ll only mean it in jest. Deal?”

“I...suppose that could be fun,” Rarity shakes her head at me. “Still it just seems a lot easier to just be friends.”

“If you’ve learned anything about me in our time together,” I eye the fireplace, I push myself up reluctantly from the couch, almost tripping on my new cape. “It’s that sometimes I’m rather hard on myself.” I tiredly tap at the fireplace. “We can start snarking at each other tomorrow. Right now, let’s send that letter. How does this thing work?”

Rarity smiles and walks over to the fireplace “Well, I give the fireplace a spark to start it up,” She casts a small spell, the fireplace starts up with a burst of green flame. “Then we put it in an envelope with the pony whom it is addressed to and placing your hoof on this square here-”

I put up a hoof. “What if this thing is faulty? Will my letter get lost?”

Rarity looks worried. “It would just burn up, so yes, I suppose it would get lost...”

I can feel my ears droop. “Fet.”

Rarity smiles. “I have an idea. A simple object duplication spell.” She says her horn glowing as a beam of energy zaps my letter. The letter floats in the air and then divides like an amoeba. “There. A copy for Princess and a copy for you. It’s a very useful spell when it comes to doing paperwork.”

“I can only imagine.” As the letter floats over to the fireplace, I feel hesitation and worry creep back into my mind. The question that has peered over the last to two letters looms like a vulture. “Will she accept it? Will this be the time I lose something? Is this even a lesson worth telling her?” I feel a hoof on my shoulder. It’s Rarity.

“Are you sure that you’re ready, darling?” She asks me. I look over her overall body language. Everything is telling me that she is as worried as I am. My fears and concerns about this letter have become her fears and concerns. The two of us have fought and reacted so much, that without either of us realizing it? In a weird way, we’ve sorta bonded. “You still have a few weeks to hammer out any details that-”

I hold up a hoof. “No, it’s as ready as it’s going to be. Fussing over it and over thinking it is going to just destroy the message. Let’s do this.” Rarity nods and sends the letter into the fire. Now comes the waiting game. The moments of free fall that still are robbing me of my breath. I dare not breathe too loud, I want to know the moment.

Rarity reaches over and hugs me. “What...whatever the outcome, darling. I’ll be there for you...”

Fuck, this is getting far too emotional for me. I just want that-

My ears perk and I hear the twinkling of magic being performed. Looking up, I see the hourglass illuminate with what is unmistakably Celestia’s golden glow. The iris opens and a small red marble starts to fall. Rarity grabs me and starts to cry. I know exactly how she is feeling.

I hug her back tightly but keep my eyes fixed on that marble. “Shh, Rarity. Keep your eyes on the birdy.” She whimpers in those few seconds of it falling and her eyes go wide as the thing bursts into a brilliant white in the middle of falling.

“D-d-does it always do that?” Rarity asks, shaking and nearly sobbing. I kinda want to smack her and tell her to pull herself together. However, I know that feeling. That first time. Fuck, even I am shaking a bit right now. Course Rarity getting this way- Shut your inner monolog and answer her question, darn it!

“It’s done it at least once before,” I reply. “I don’t know why, but the thing to know about my marbles is that you don’t make any judgements until they are done falling.”

She gives me a grimacing look and sniffs hard. “You knew and you didn’t say anything?” Rarity pushes me away. “I was on the verge of tears, you know!” Fuck, did I just unwittingly upset- Wait, she’s grinning a bit in that frown she has on her face. Is she messing with me? One way to find out!

“Well, excuuuuuse me, Princess! I thought I was trying to build a moment of suspense!” I have been waiting forever to use that line on Rarity. She gives me an odd look and then smirks at me. I hope that wasn’t too over the top for an opening snark.

“Humph! More like trying to give me a heart attack!” She counters, looking up at the air in a fake snootie manner.

“Well,” I roll my eyes at her. “If you are going to be that way about it,” I counter her little nose in the air move with one of my own, while trotting over to the couch. “Then maybe I should just go to bed!”

“Well, maybe you should!” She blinks and her tone turns sympathetic. “Darling, that is a funny looking bed. Are you certain that you want to sleep on it?”

I smile back at her. Time to lighten the snark. “It’s my house, and in my house one of my rules is that I sleep where I want. And my guests sleep where I insist that they sleep.”

“Well! If you insist! But,” she scratches her head. This must be a little strange to her. “If you insist on using that dirty, dusty, musty, old couch as your bed. Then as one of your stewards, I will have to insist that you at least have a blanket!” She turns and gives me a grin. “After all, if ever you caught a cold? I would be up to my ears in filling out paperwork for the hospital.”

I chuckle and roll my eyes while hopping on the couch. “Of course! But what if I suffer from a neck problem because lack of a pillow? That’s only going to add to the heap!”

We give each other a weird quazi-fake-glare for a few moments but then are sent into a fit of giggles as we can’t keep it up for long. Rarity smiles at me while a blanket and pillow float into the room. “Goodnight, H.B. And don’t have too many nightmares. You still have an initiation to attend.”

Lifting my head, I feel the pillow fill the empty space below it. Getting comfortable, the blanket is not too far behind. Rarity goes to the extra effort of attempting to tuck me in with it. “I’ll try.” She starts to walk out the door. “Rarity?

Her head peeks in. “Yes, darling?”

Fuck... I feel a little embarrassed as I realize what I am about to say! “Could you get me a glass of water? Please?”

She gives me a ‘really?’ face. “Oh, but why not get it yourself, Darling?” She coos gently.

“But... I just got comfortable!” I exclaim attempting to flutter my eyes. Hey! Stop that! Noooo! Stoooop it.

She snerks and a glass of water floats to my lips. I am taken a bit by surprise but drink my fill. “There. Better?”

“Yes...” Alright, that is the last time I ever act like that. You’re an adult for cripes sake. However, you ought to thank her. “Rarity?” She looks over at me.

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks, and goodnight.” I start to turn over. “Frienemy.”

I can practically hear her smirk. “You too. Frienemy.”

==============================================================

Heartbreak stood in the crusader’s club house, her ears at half mast, and an embarrassed look on her face. The three fillies stood exactly where she expected them to. Applebloom was on her left, Sweetie Belle at the podium straight in front of her, and Scootaloo was slowly playing on the bongo drums.

She sighed. Once again, she had let Rarity touch her mane and tail. It didn’t look as fancy as before and it was already starting to curl and get messy, but there was something about the act that unnerved her. She looked at Rarity who was sitting on a small red pillow stool. “I still don’t get why you-”

Rarity put a hoof to her lips and adjusted Heartbreak’s cape. “Shh!”

Scootaloo began to wail on the drums for a moment but then stopped when she saw Heartbreak glaring at her. “What? It’s part of the initiation!”

Sweetie Belle looked at the paper in front of her before clearing her throat. “E-hem! Do you, Heartbreak, also known as, H.B. promise to adhere to the Code of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? To constantly strive towards earning your cutie mark? To never give up on yourself or your fellow Crusaders or honorary Crusaders, whomever they be? And that we, the Cutie Mark Crusaders agree that-” she looked up at Heartbreak questioningly. “-the events that lead to this and fact that you are one of the honorary members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders will not be shared with anypony else by the five individuals in this clubhouse without your permission?”

“Please?” Heartbreak let out a small pleading meeping noise. The three fillies smiled rather sinister looking smiles. “I do?”

“Then we hereby welcome you into our club, and deem you the first honorary member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Sweetie Belle cried out.

==============================================================

Gawds. This is so fucking smoltzy. The joining of the club, the girls trying to make me feel like I belong somewhere, the little party that they are having afterwards.

“I seriously hope that we don’t do this every time I succeed.” Then again? If ever there was a reason to celebrate, it would be because I get to keep a part of my brain, right?

The ‘party’ is small. The picnic table has been decked out with cookies, a cake, and a tray of vegetables mixed with fruit. Mostly apples, pears, celery stalks and carrot sticks.

The girls are sitting at a small table chattering and eating away loudly. Which is good. That’s what I want them to be doing. I don’t want them to be all depressed over my problems. They’re young, and full of life and potential. They still have time to do things and find out what it is they are meant to do.

I’m sitting off to the side with my journal open and my pencil in my hoof. With my fireplace active, I’m going to send a letter off to Dib sometime today. Right now however, I want to capture this moment and all my feelings about this event. After all, at the end of all this, how I remember everything might be different from what is actually happening. Suddenly, I feel a slight tickle in my nose and give a sneeze. Stupid pollen in the air.

Alright, enough inner monolog. Sniffing, I set pencil to paper, me to write.

“Junior, I’m not sure what to say right now. I think I may have made a positive step forward. But I’m not sure. However, it’s funny to think that today’s adventure was set in motion by a fight with Rarity, and a ride on a runaway train.

Scootaloo came over earlier and asked if I was going to join them. I told them that I was, but I just needed to write everything down. She rolled her eyes at me and told me not to take too long.

After all, the day was young and they wanted to present me with some of the ideas they had in earning their marks. Though I shouldn’t be too helpful. They need to earn their marks when they’re meant to earn them.

Although, I have a bad feeling that by the end of all this, I am just going to want to flop in my bed or somehow end up covered in tree sap.”

THE END

Author's Note

I would like to thank all my editors, proofreaders and prereaders. This story has been kind of a hell on some level.
Somebadauthor, Anticarrot , Rudari Domhnail, Dennis Connolly, Ikion Star and others.
And here is the chapter art!

http://orig11.deviantart.net/8df8/f/2017/213/7/1/chapter45comerunwithus_by_sabertooth1980-dbighe3.jpg

Teacher's Meeting

Chapter One

Teacher’s Meeting

“Alright girls, we all know why we’re here.” Twilight took a pointing stick and rapped it on the large paper notepad. “But a quick review wouldn’t hurt.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Twilight, is this just pointless fluff to pad your schedule of how long you want this meeting to last?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “No Rainbow.” She flipped the large paper over and drew up a diagram. “This is an exercise to make sure that the six of us are still on the same page about the issues surrounding H.B. What we’ve learned about her, what we need to do for her, what we have done for her and of course, most importantly, what we will do for her.”

“Uhm, no offense Sugarcube, but this here meeting won’t take too long now will it? Ah still have business back on the farm ta take care of,” Applejack said.

“I shouldn’t leave the animals alone for too long,” Fluttershy interrupted quietly. “They tend to get moody if they don’t get their afternoon snacks.”

Rarity sipped on her apple juice. “And I have several dresses to get done before the days’ end!”

Twilight tapped on the paper. “I understand that everypony has other plans,” she rolled her eyes, “And places that they would rather be. However, all of this is important. Initially when H.B. arrived to our world and-” Twilight grasped for the words to fit the situation that the poor pony was in. “Shook things up, none of us were prepared, nor did we expect the repercussions. The Princess has charged us with the duty of rehabilitating H.B.-”

“More like she thrust the duty upon us,” Rarity commented disapprovingly. Looking around she saw the seething looks being shot her way. “What? Am I the only one here who finds this whole predicament a bit questionable?”

“Princess Celestia is ruler of all of Equestria. And while the act of what she was going to do is deplorable, it isn’t out of the question for a leader who is trying to protect her country and those who live in it from a destructive force that could rip our world into pieces,” Twilight explained glowering.

The room was filled with an awkward silence. After all, everypony here had talked about Heartbreak herself. What kind of pony she came off as, what her personality was like, how she seemed to be almost outright fighting Twilight at every turn. Almost refusing to adapt, refusing to give. However, the past two months showed that she was willing to learn-that there was a semblance of hope for a return to harmony for this strange pony that wasn’t a pony. But nopony had the gall to point out the truly horrifying aspect of all of this.

The terrible realization that had the six of them not been there, had Twilight not sent the letter to Princess Luna telling her about Heartbreak, had things gone differently: Heartbreak wouldn’t most likely even exist to be talked about. She would most likely have been locked away in a Canterlot mental ward, staring blankly at a wall and drooling slightly.

And there wouldn’t have been anypony in all of Equestria, save Princess Celestia herself, that would have known any different.

Twilight sighed. “There is plenty to dislike about what we have to do here, girls. And we can either spend this entire meeting questioning the motives of Princess Celestia in the matter,” She turned over another page in the sketch pad. A picture of Heartbreak stared blankly at the group, “Or we can talk about what we are going to do for this pony. Because despite the circumstances of her arrival, and whether she will admit to it or not, she needs us.”

Rarity looked down at the table. “I’m just saying that none of this seems fair. Neither to us or her...”

“I know Rarity. But it is the situation that we have to deal with. Maybe one day we can all see what was going through the Princess’s mind at that moment.” Twilight turned and faced her sketch pad. She sighed and shook off a momentary twinge of emotional angst that had been nagging her the moment that Rarity had brought this issue up. “But for now, we need to focus.” She sternly smacked the sketch pad. “Each of us has been charged with the task of, ‘returning H.B. back to harmony.’ And when we first got that task, none of us really knew what to do. Our world had just been shaken up and everything that we thought was true, crumbled around our hooves. I’ve had time to reflect on the situation as a whole and have decided that, for all this to work, for us to succeed in this mission, and for H.B. to retain her memories: We need have set goals in all this.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Is there something you want to share with the rest of us Rainbow?”

Rainbow’s eyes shot back and forth. “Nope! I’m good.”

Twilight sighed. “Right, the first of these goals is rather simple, each of us should choose a month that we are going to work with her. None of you have to commit right away, but seeing that a new month has arrived...I will need at least one volunteer to step forward at least by week’s end.” All but Pinkie Pie looked a little unnerved by the near demand that Twilight was giving them.

Rarity reluctantly raised her hoof slightly. “I’m not volunteering, Twilight, but I would just like to point out that this is rather sudden and-”

Twilight sighed. “I know it is rather sudden and I am sure that all of you do have plans for what you want to do for this month. However, all I am asking is that one of you take a little time out for H.B. and attempt to teach her about your element.”

Rarity frowned upon being interrupted. “And if she doesn’t learn anything?”

“Ah, reckon that ya’ll have ta either try again there Rar, or pass her off ta one of us ta see if we can do the job that ya didn’t,” Applejack said with a smug air.

“She might surprise you, Rarity. After all she has sent two letters so far. Two letters that have been accepted by the Princess. And there is the fact that I think last month did give her quite the shake up. I think she might be waking up to the idea that she has to contribute to all this if she wants to succeed,” Twilight added.

“I would have thought that she would have realized that was a given from the beginning,” Rarity interjected.

Twilight frowned and glared at Rarity, her mouth was about to open when Pinkie’s hoof shot up into the air. The normally bright and cheerful pony was dressed up in something that was strikingly contrasted to her personality: A pinstriped teacher’s suit attire, complete with horn rimmed glasses and her mane done up in the best bun style she could muster. “Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!”

Twilight turned her attention away from Rarity. “Yes Pinkie?”

Pinkie’s hooves slammed down on the table. “I demand to have October! That’s when Nightmare Night is happening and that’s one of the best and biggest Parties of the year!”

Rainbow Dash snorted. “You really think that you can actually wait that long, Pinkie? Isn’t October like six-”
“Five,” Fluttershy corrected quietly.

“Right, Five months away?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“H.B. told me to think of the best party I could think of and I choose that month to teach her!” Pinkie looked at Rainbow Dash with a flare of determination in her eyes. “And Nightmare Night is the Perfect night for her! Think about it! Everypony is dressed up as something else, she can completely be whatever she wants to be, even her Aaaalien self and nopony would even know! Plus! Plus! Princess Luna will be there!”

“Pinkie, darling, what does that have to do with anything?” Rarity asked.

“Cha! Come on, Rar-bear! H.B. is totally grateful to the Princess for the save!” Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Plus have you seen how flustered she gets when you make mention of Princess Luna?”

Rarity blinked. “I don’t follow.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “That makes two of us. I think Pinkie is just being Pinkie.”

“Ugh! You ponies don’t know anything! I demand the month of October, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted, banging a gavel on the table.

Twilight promptly took the gavel from Pinkie and gave her a look. Pinkie smiled sheepishly and gave an apologetic squee. “I appreciate your enthusiastic nature about this, Pinkie Pie. And I will make sure you get October. Now as far as the rest of you-”

Applejack put up a hoof. “Twi’ ah already know where yer going as far as bullet points go, ya mind if ah go and deliver them drinks ta the next room? It’ll give ya a chance ta get everypony here caught up with what ya planned and me a chance ta see how things are going over there.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” Twilight replied nodding. “Go right ahead.”

Applejack smiled and pushed the cart of apple juice through the door leading to the rest of the library. As the door opened, a cacophony of sound entered the kitchen. It was much like the sound of an active school yard.

Pinkie’s ears perked up and her eyes went wide as she tried to spy what was going on in the room next door. “Ooooo! Twilight! What’s happening over there?”

Twilight smiled a little smile. “Just something that H.B. suggested to me about how we could get more youngsters interested in reading. It’s being handled. Right now I would like to address the next goal that I have in mind for H.B.” Twilight flipped the paper on her sketch pad. “As some of you know, I have been having H.B. doing odd jobs around Ponyville so that she can earn up a little capital of her own. But if we can pool our resources along with hers, then I think that we can get H.B. something that she desperately needs.”

“You mean other than a good hooficure, a currycomb and her mane and tail attended to?” Rarity asked nonchalantly. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “What? Am I the only one that thinks that she needs these things?”

Twilight sighed. “While a bit of sprucing up wouldn’t hurt, I am talking about an actual place to live.” Twilight drew up a small drawing of a little house. “We need to get H.B. her very own home.”

Rainbow Dash raised her hoof. “No offense Twilight, but that seems easy enough. I mean why don’t we just open a newspaper and look at the local listings for apartments. Isn’t that what she lived in before?”

“I wish it were that easy, Rainbow.” Twilight frowned. “But apartments require that you have money prior to leasing and most importantly, a job.”

“Neither of which she really has, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity interjected. “But still, how do propose that we go about getting her her own house? Even those cost money.”

Pinkie raised her hoof. “Why not just ask the Princess?”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, do you honestly think that Princess Celestia just loans out money to anypony who asks?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes back at Rarity. “Well, Cha-no! Princess Celestia isn’t a bank! And I wasn’t talking about Princess Celestia! That would be the last pony we should ask to help us in this matter!”

Fluttershy coughed and spoke up. “But it would be a really...uhm...nice thing for her to do, don’t you think? It could, well, I don’t know...uhm...nevermind, everypony else was talking and I just wanted to..” Fluttershy slowly tried to drop behind the table.

“Fluttershy, everypony’s opinion and thoughts are important here. Please if you have something to say regarding any matter that has been brought up,” Twilight looked down and bit her lower lip. It just felt so wrong saying bad things about Princess Celestia! “Including something you think the Princess could or should do, then by all means say it.”

Fluttershy looked around from her eye-level position with the table. “Well..uhm, it’s just that H.B. doesn’t really trust the Princess, and well, if she was able or-” she paused for a moment,”-willing to help, it could help in her overall progress to harmony?” Fluttershy finished her thought and sentence in a quick and quiet manner.

“Fluttershy does have a valid point, Twilight. After all, Celestia wasn’t acting very, ‘princessly,’ upon Heartbre-” Rarity started.

“H.B.’s,” Fluttershy interjected.

Rarity gave an annoyed laugh. “Upon H.B.’s arrival. Such actions could warrant restitution?”

Twilight frowned and bit on her lip. Her friends had a point in all this, but it just felt so wrong! Despite what had happened back in Canterlot, it was hard to see Celestia in a bad light. Making demands of her, forcing her to provide for another pony, or even just writing her a letter regarding any of this! It felt like she was somehow failing in her mission, failing herself, failing her teacher.

Pinkie Pie slammed her hoof down on the table. “I’m not talking about rest or tuition! And it wasn’t Princess Celestia I was talking about! Getting H.B. to accept money from her would like getting the holes out of swiss cheese! Just no doing it! The holes are what makes swiss cheese swiss! I was talking about Princess Luna! Doesn’t she have a say in all this!?”

Twilight gave Pinkie a funny look. The swiss cheese part seemed totally nonsensical but she did have a point about Princess Luna. “I’m not sure if she can help either, Pinkie.” Pinkie gave Twilight a pleading look. Twilight let out a sigh. “But it wouldn’t hurt to write Princess Luna a letter explaining the situation.” Pinkie clapped her hooves together and squeed.

“How much capital has she earned thus far, Twilight?” Rarity asked looking concerned.

“Well, with the odd jobs I have given her,” Twilight started to write down a few numbers on the sketch pad. “These being delivering newspapers, more work on Applejack’s farm, helping the Cakes move flour...” She paused and looked disappointedly at her result. “One hundred and fifty bits.”

Rainbow Dash snirked. “Gee, by this rate she’ll get that house in about ten years!”

“Rainbow!” Twilight said frowning.

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Twilight, darling, she does have a point. Even if we all were to pool our resources, a decent house can cost anywhere from one thousand to ten thousand bits.” a worried expression accompanied Rarity’s statement.

Twilight bowed her head. “I know that Rarity, however I really think that if we work-”

Just then, Heartbreak nearly came barreling through the kitchen door. With a wide eyed panicked expression, she slammed the door behind her and leaned up against it.

Her left eye twitched as her gaze narrowed in on one pony in the room. “Twilight. Sparkle.” She hissed. “A word?”

“Well...” Twilight began apprehensively. “We’re kind of in the midd-”

Twilight swore that she could see the curls in H.B.’s mane grow tighter as her brow furrowed ever deeper. “A word. Now!”

The Fashionista and I

Chapter 11

The Fashionista and I

Heartbreak sighed and wondered what the hell was up with Pinkie Pie shouting at her randomly. “Then again, this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about here,” She muttered to herself. Pinkie was random, sometimes pointless, crazy but above all things: Honestly cared about her friends. “She really shouldn’t think of me like that. She doesn’t even really know me....”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “And she’ll never get to know you if you keep her at an arm’s distance, you jerk.” She blinked at her brain. “Quiet you, we need to have a more stable mindset if we’re going to be dealing with Rarity. and seeing that we are here, well, it’s most likely best that we stop talking to ourselves, uhm, and stop referring to ourselves in the third p-p-pony. And I am going to stop doing that right now!” She stomped her hoof down on the ground. “Ha! See! Wasn’t that hard!”

Heartbreak sighed and face hoofed. “Come on! Stop it already! We’re here! We don’t need Rarity thinking that we’re a flake!”

As Heartbreak approached Carousel Boutique, she took in the amount of details that she couldn’t see when watching the show. The three tiered building always reminded her of what would happen if someone took a carousel, a music box and a clothing store and smashed them together in a rather elegant way. A mix of pastel swirls and whirls with pictures of profiled ponies here and there sitting among a few sparse trees and random tents. Added to this was a common theme in all of Equestria: Hearts.

Heartbreak’s left eye twitched a little as she walked up the path to the purple double doors of the shop. “Hearts, hearts everywhere and not a one but mine has a crack.” “You could change that you know.” She rolled her eyes and lifted a hoof to knock on the door. “No, H.B., You’re not going to draw little cracks in every heart you see just because you hate the one burned into your flanks. Well, here goes nothing.” She knocked quietly on the door. And waited for a second. “Whelp! Nop-p-pony home! Better go-”

The top of the door opened and Rarity’s bright face peered through. “Daaaaarling! You made it! I’m so happy!” She said beaming as she opened the whole door. “ You’ll have to excuse the mess, but I am taking care of any loose ends with this current order of dresses! Won’t you come in?”

“Sure.” Heartbreak replied.

“You knocked so quietly, had I not been just passing by, I wouldn’t have heard you at all!” Rarity said giving Heartbreak a quick look over and giggled. “Oh and you’re wearing the saddlebags I made for you!”

“That would have just been tragic,” Heartbreak said walking into the shop.

“Well, only because I wouldn’t have answered the door. But please, do make yourself at home,” She said leading Heartbreak to a standing three way mirror.

“Sure...You don’t happen to have a comfortable couch I could sit or lay on at the ready, do you?” Heartbreak asked nervously.

Rarity blinked and then laughed. “Oh! You must be talking about my red velvet couch!”

Heartbreak looked to the left and right. “Uhm, I wasn’t actually thinking that but sure, that could work.”

Rarity gave Heartbreak a bit of a look and then laughed a bit. “Sorry darling, but I only take that couch out for special occasions.” She glanced over Heartbreak’s mane and tail.

“And it’s your couch.”

Rarity nodded before going back to her desk to fill out some remaining paperwork. “Yes, and it’s mine. But if you are insistent on a place to sit, I do have this lovely velvet throw pillow!”

Heartbreak looked at the rather gaudy red pillow that was floating in front of her. It was well designed but seemed so over the top. What with gold embroidery and tassels. “It looks very...comfortable, but do you have anything that is a bit more, uhm, simple?”

Rarity looked up and blinked. “Simple?”

“Simple, I mean I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just that, it’s such a nice looking pillow that I don’t want to, uhm...sully it with my dusty rump.” Her eyes darted about and she gave her best smile.

Rarity opened her mouth to say something, but then returned the smile. “Oh, well, I see! Do you like this brown pillow?” She asked pulling it up.

Heartbreak nodded awkwardly and then facehoofed. “You’re going to have to forgive me, Rarity. But I have been kind of not looking forward to our little... meeting.”

Rarity turned around looking rather sad. “You haven’t?”

Heartbreak almost instantly raised her hooves waggling them about. “It’s nothing against you! It’s just... I don’t know what to expect here or what’s going to happen or what you have planned.”

“And this worries you?” Rarity asked as Heartbreak started to nod. “Well, today I thought we could do something that was a, ‘Getting to Know Each Other,’ meet and greet.”

“Ah, right. That could be okay.” Heartbreak replied rubbing her left ankle. “Uhm... Just exactly what would that all entail?”

Rarity raised her hoof to her chin. “Well, seeing that I haven’t done something like this before myself, I would assume that it would be you telling me a little bit about yourself. You know...getting to know you. Getting to know all about you.”

Heartbreak grimaced a bit. “If the next line is, ‘getting to like you,’ I think we might have to cut the day off short.”

Rarity looked baffled. “Well, that is generally what two ponies try doing when first greeting each other, and I would hope that you would get to like me-” Heartbreak looked a bit disturbed over something. “-is there something wrong?”

“You...aren’t going to start singing are you?” She asked.

“Well, I hadn’t planned on it. Why, do you not like my singing?” Rarity asked.

Heartbreak looked down. “Your singing is very...uhm...nice..I mean lovely, I mean it’s great!”

“Buuuuut?” Rarity asked looking at her questioningly.

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “I don’t sing. And I’m not that fond of p-p-ponies just bursting into song.”

Rarity’s questioning gaze continued. “You don’t sing?”

“I’ve never been good at it,” Heartbreak replied shrugging. “Besides, where I’m from, we don’t randomly burst into song or dance.”

Rarity looked back at Heartbreak in bewilderment. “No...singing?”

“Well, they sing, it’s just that we don’t just randomly go down the streets singing,” Heartbreak replied taking the pillow out of the air and placing it on the floor next to the mirrors.

Rarity’s eyes went a bit wide and she shook her head. “Such a place sounds-and this isn’t meant as any offense to you, darling- rather dull.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I hear that a lot.”

“Why, I couldn’t imagine going a day without humming a tune of some sort!” She said smiling and filling out a few papers. “You know what they say, ‘Whistle while you work!’”

“I’m not a big fan of whistling either,” Heartbreak said sighing.

“Well, uhm, what are you a fan of?”

Heartbreak adjusted her pillow and glared at her tail. “Math, science, physics, art, nature,” She replied attempting to find another comfortable pose. “I really like drawing.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, aside from the countless number of little odd-jobs and misadventures I have been having, it’s pretty much the only thing I have to really do,” She replied.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. “Oh! That must be Pony Express here to pick up the deliveries! And just in time too!”

Heartbreak attempted to take off her saddlebags. “‘Pony Express?’”

“It’s the local package and delivery service!” Rarity stopped before she got to the door. “They do have those types of things where you’re from don’t they?”

Heartbreak felt the belt loosen on her saddlebags and let it slip off. She looked like she was fighting to say something but then bit her lip. “Yes we do, Rarity. It’s just the name that was throwing me off. That’s all.”

The knock on the door sounded again, this time a bit louder. “Anypony home?” Came a young sounding male voice.

“Coooooming!” Rarity sang out as she opened the door. There stood a bright eyed, youthful, grey stallion with a purple mane dressed in a brown shirt and a nametag that read, ‘Care Package.’

“Hello, are you a, ‘Miss Rarity?’” He asked.

“Why yes I am. You must be the stallion that they sent to pick up the dresses,” She said giggling. “And here is the atrocious amounts of paperwork I had to fill out for these dresses.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and turned her back to the door before taking out her mechanical pencil. She quickly placed the device into her hoof-hole and tapped the button on the top. “There’s no telling how long Rarity is going to be doing that. Might as well try to get a little drawing time in.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied pulling out his clipboard. “And thank you very much,” he said looking it all over. “I know you’ve been signing quite a bit of work as it is, but would it be a problem if you could sign this one last thing?”

“Oh not at all, I tell you, it is just marvelous that I finally have this order done and off my hooves!” Rarity replied signing on a dotted line. “Now, the dresses have to be taken from out of the back door, there’s just too large a number and I’m afraid that my shop is too much of a mess as it is to have them go through the front door.” She batted her eyes at Care Package.

“Not at all, Miss Rarity. I’ll just have the driver park in back.” He paused for a moment. “Oh and before I forget, I also have a delivery for a Miss ‘Heartbreak’? I was told that she would be here by Twilight Sparkle.”

Rarity’s eyes raised in surprise. “And she is!” She turned and raised a hoof. “H.B.! Did you hear that! This nice gentlepony has a package for you!”

==============================================================

“Aaaaaand queue bad 80’s porno music. Thank you brain. I just so needed that today,” I sarcastically think to myself shuddering. “Uhm... Great... Can you take care of that, Rarity?”

‘Care Package,’ coughs. “I’m afraid she’s the one that needs to sign for it. Sorry, standard company policy.”

I grumble under my breath, tap the button to my mechanical pencil that I had just put in, take it out and set it near my sketchbook. “Sure it is,” I reply pushing myself up and going to the door. Who the hell is sending me packages? Pinkie Pie? Dib? Maybe...one of the Princesses? The last one could go pretty good or pretty bad depending on the princess in question. Rarity has a quill floating at the ready for me. I must admit... I am kind of excited. Not that I am going to really let it show. I nab the quill from the air and attempt to sign on the dotted line. Seeing that I haven’t really practiced too much writing with my mouth, the signature looks like a garbled mess.

I spit the quill in the air before I can make a slobbery mess of it. “You’re going to have to excuse my writing.”

He looks at it. “I’ve seen worse. I’ve had to deliver to doctors!”

“Fascinating. So about that delivery?” Nope, not going to make any stupid fucking package jokes here!

He picks up a purple box with a nice neat blue ribbon tied in a bow around it. “Here you go, Miss Heartbreak!”

My face involuntary twitches at the use of the term, ‘miss.’ For a second, I am confused at how I’m meant to take said box. But only for a second though. I just don’t like the idea of how close my face has to get to his face to take it. Then again... “Just set it down here and I’ll take it from there, thank you. And for future reference, please don’t call me, ‘miss,’ or ‘Heartbreak.’ I insist that all p-p-ponies call me, ‘H.B.’”

He blinks and looks at me oddly before setting the package down. I bend down and pick up the bow with my mouth. “Uhm...Duly noted,” He replies tapping the bill of his hat. “You ladies have a pleasant day. Miss Rarity? Do you mind greeting my driver in back?”

“Why not at all! After all, it would be the polite thing to do,” she says practically burning holes into my head with a subtle glare. I look back and forth and kick my hoof as Rarity closes the door. I pick up my package and go back to the pillow.

She bites her lip and then takes a deep breath. “H.B., darling, I am at a bit of a loss. What exactly was that about?”

Great. She took notice of my not wanting to be addressed as a, ‘miss.’ Well, she might have taken notice. I really hope she didn’t take notice. “What was what about?”

“The rather, and I do apologize if I insult you here, rude behavior to the delivery pony,”

I take out my mechanical pencil again and reinsert it into my hoof. It does this weird thing every time I do that. Makes this funny buzzing and vibrates slightly. It doesn’t feel unpleasant but it doesn’t feel pleasant either. Just weird. “I’m not sure what you are talking about, Rarity.”

Rarity takes a deep breath and nods a bit. “Well, I don’t know how your former species does things, but it just seemed that there was an air of hostility in your voice.”

I rub my temples. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, Rarity.” Damn it, she’s pushing this issue and making things a bit uncomfortable. I really wish she would just drop the subject. “I just don’t like being called by my-” I hate calling it what I have to call it. But there isn’t any other word for it. “-name.” I finally squeak out. “And the sooner other p-p-ponies know this, the better I feel about it.”

Rarity blinks and there’s a wavering of something that passes over her face. Understanding? Sadness? Empathy? I’m not sure, however I think I would rather just focus back on drawing. Macgyvering the pointed end of the pencil into my sketchbooks pages, I flip it open to a clean sheet.

“Ah, I see. You’re putting things your way.” She says walking past me. “Just a word of advice, hmmm?” She pauses for a second. “Next time, put things your way, but nicely. Now if you don’t mind, I have a driver to attend to in the back and when I return, we can get back to, ‘getting to know you.’”

I cover my face and grimace at the image my brain just decided to create out of Rarity’s words. I don’t know whether to snicker or throw up. “The latter seems like a more viable solution, but then I would have to clean up the mess. Better just pretend that those words didn’t come out of her mouth.”

Going to the Spa

Chapter 15

Going to the Spa

Twilight rubbed her eyes and lifted a cup of coffee from the table. “Three hours of reading and nothing about, ‘evil cutie marks.’ The only things that seem to come close to what H.B has described involve cutie pox and an obscure reference to Discord.” She took a long drink from the coffee cup. “But we’re not going to even try that can of worms.” She frowned. “Especially after what happened-”

Just then there was a rapping at the door and Twilight looked up from her reading. Peeking at the time, she saw that it was getting close to two-thirty. Her eyes shifted at the door and then back at the clock. “That couldn’t be her. It’s only been an hour and a half!”

Twilight waited for a little bit and then went back to her book, ‘Questions about Cutie Marks.’ “While a cutie mark can appear at any point in a pony’s life it is almost always symbol-”

Another rapping and tapping came from the library door. Twilight looked up from her book annoyed. “Library is open! You can come in! Just open the door!”

“No I can’t, Twilight! I don’t mean to disrupt what you’re doing! But could you open the door please?” Heartbreak pleaded loudly from outside.

Twilight sighed and slipped the book behind a stack of other books. “Can’t have her seeing that,” she thought to herself as she got up and walked to the door. Taking a deep breath, she prepared to see what could potentially be a new H.B. “After all, she just did get back from Rarity’s shop! Heh, maybe she got her hooves painted or her mane done up or her eyelashes are cur-” As the door opened, Twilight looked back in a bit of shock and surprise. “Or...she could be wearing a strange green hat.”

“Hey Twilight,” Heartbreak said with a slight smile on her face as she walked into the library.

“Uhm, hi,” Twilight said blinking. There was barely any change in Heartbreak’s appearance at all. Her hooves looked the same, mane was the same, there wasn’t even a splotch of any makeup on her face. “You’re back...early?”

Heartbreak raised an eyebrow. “What? You didn’t expect me to be there all day, did you? You didn’t say how long I had to be there. Just that I had to be there and that I had to spend some time with her,” she replied walking to the kitchen.

“I know that...it’s just,” Twilight stared at the hat sitting atop Heartbreak’s head, “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

Heartbreak eyed a bowl of fruit and picked up an apple in her teeth. “‘Hut? Oo ‘ad oter flaans oo’ay?”

Twilight rolled her eyes and plucked the apple from Heartbreak’s mouth. “What?”

Heartbreak smacked her lips. “I said, ‘Did you have other plans today?’”

“No,” Twilight replied. “It’s just that I expected you to be gone longer, after all, Rarity likes-”

“To give makeovers, gab and do almost everything that I don’t like doing?” Heartbreak replied taking a swiping bite at the apple.

Twilight plucked it away just in time to hear the sound of Heartbreak’s teeth clatter. “Did you at least try to get along with her?” She asked.

Heartbreak rubbed her face. “I was there for over an hour right?” Twilight gave her a look. “Right, fine. I tried. It was a rocky start, but then I started drawing and she was looking over my shoulder.”

“And you didn’t like that?” Twilight asked.

“Actually the opposite. I like to have an, ‘Artproofer.’” Heartbreak replied.

“Artproofer?” Twilight asked questioningly while lowering the apple to Heartbreak’s face.

Heartbreak took a bite and nodded while chewing. “Yeah,” she said through some apple. “I have problems with proportion and lines sometimes. Minimizing some things, while blowing others out of the right....” she looked like she was struggling to find a word.

“Dimensions?” Twilight suggested. “And you really shouldn’t talk with food in your mouth. You’ll get apple bits everywhere.”

Heartbreak rolled her eyes and swallowed. “Yeah, dimensions. Plus the hardest thing for any artist to draw is a straight fetting line. And with hooves? It’s a lot harder. Rarity was a help in that department. Not so much anywhere else.” She took another bite of the floating apple.

Twilight looked Heartbreak over once again. Was there anything other than the hat that was new? She blinked. “Her mane looks a little more stylized...” “I’m guessing that she tried to give you a makeover?”

Heartbreak smirked and rolled her eyes. “The first thing was that she wanted to design a dress for me. Then a makeover, and there was a hint that she wanted to go to the spa. All of which,” she took a deep breath, “I calmly turned down.”

“You know, a trip to the spa wouldn’t hurt you.” Twilight said.

“Not you too,” Heartbreak replied swallowing her apple. “Maybe you should tell all the girls this, Twi’, but I don’t do spas. I don’t see how they are necessary. And before you start, I don’t want to paint my hooves, I don’t need a full brushing, and as long as I shower and wash, I should look fine. I’m just glad I got out there unaltered.”

Twilight flicked the brim of Heartbreak’s hat. “Not completely unaltered.”

“The hat? Actually that wasn’t from Rarity at all that was from-”

“-A pony named, ‘High Hat.’ I must tell you, Fluttershy, it was the most horrible looking green hat I have ever seen,” Rarity said placing several bits on the counter of the front office of the spa.

Lotus smiled at Rarity warmly and Aloe offered the both of them fresh hot towels. Rarity nodded, while Fluttershy politely declined.

“I admit that it was a well designed hat, that’s for certain. Clean, crisp lines, good materials, but for a mare?! Maybe on a stallion, or for a Nightmare Night outfit... but still. It just seemed so wrong and out of place,” Rarity said getting up on the massage table.

“Did she like it?” Fluttershy asked laying next to her friend.

“Did she like it?” Rarity asked rolling her eyes. “She-”

“-Loved it. It’s a nice gift from a p-p-pony I helped. Though I had to apparently drug him in order to help him,” Heartbreak grumbled making her way up the stairs.

“You...loved a gift...from a stallion?” Twilight asked from the entrance of the bedroom.

Heartbreak glared back at her. “Don’t read into that, Twilight. He’s still a jerk. A jerk who is on a road to recovery. But a jerk nevertheless.”

“So, she wanted to design a dress for you? She must have felt really bad about yesterday,” Twilight replied.

“Oh, she felt bad about something alright. Something that was my fault,” Heartbreak replied bitterly as she tugged off her saddle bag. “She was at-”

“-The door listening just before it was kicked in,” Rarity whispered once Aloe and Lotus had left the room.

“Oh...my,” Fluttershy said as the two of them got up off the tables and headed to the mud room. “What did you hear?” Rarity’s face crumpled and she was silent for a moment. “Rarity?”

“Horrible things, Fluttershy. Just, horrible things.” She shook her head, entering the room where the spa ponies awaited them. “But our foreign exchange student,” Rarity said making sure that she used that term to describe Heartbreak, “Is very... unaccustomed to our ways. Oh, yes she knows a great deal about Equestria and those who live here.” Rarity slipped into the mudbath and leaned her head back as Aloe applied cucumbers to her eyes.

“But?” Fluttershy asked as Lotus wrapped her head in a towel.

“But there are things she is completely unaware of. For example, did you know she didn’t know what overwear was?”

“Overwear?” Twilight asked.

“Yes! Overwear! What the fet, Twilight?!” Heartbreak said glaring at her. “I have been here for nearly four months and there hasn’t been a peep out of you about it!”

Twilight blinked. “Well, you didn’t ask about it, not to mention you tuck your tail so close to yourself that I didn’t think you needed it.”

“Didn’t need it?!” Heartbreak rubbed her temples. “Was that the reason that the others didn’t say anything? I don’t need other p-p-ponies staring at me! ”

“Well, that, and most of the time most ponies don’t look at your-” Twilight started.

Heartbreak held up her hoof. “Right, I know this conversation is my own fault, but I really, really, really don’t want to have it. I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell me sooner.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “For the same reasons I just explained. That and I didn’t think anything about it. I mean, after all I was going through a great deal of the same problems you were. It just didn’t cross my mind.”

“Good point.” Heartbreak sighed. “But the good news is that now I know.” She flopped on the bed and looked thoughtful. “I wonder how long I can get away with wearing one pair.” Twilight gave Heartbreak a rather irked look. “What? I only have one pair.”

“You could ask Rarity for some extras you know,” Twilight suggested.

“Ugh...I know... But only if she doesn’t make a big deal about it. She was practically wagging the pair I have now in my face! But, an extra pair or two would be a good idea,” Heartbreak admitted. “I’ll ask her about it tomorrow.”

“So, besides the overwear, things went well?” Twilight asked.

Heartbreak turned over and pulled her saddlebags closer. “I think they went good. I don’t know how Rarity thinks they went. Like I said things were fine when she was-”

“-Helping her with her artwork. Outside of that? It was an awful awkward mess. She didn’t want any of the dresses I designed for her, she refused to allow me to give her a makeover, and even the most subtle hint of going to the spa made her cringe!” Rarity said shaking her head as they sat in the sauna.

Fluttershy eyed Aloe as she dumped a ladle of water onto the hot rocks. The sound made her want to jump a little but she remained focused on Rarity.

“I can’t imagine why anypony wouldn’t want to go to a spa! And she is a pony that could use a spa treatment! A nice relaxing massage! A good facial to clear away those puffs under her eyes, some curry combing of her coat?” Rarity said distantly.

“Uhm, what about her, you know...” Fluttershy asked eyeing her own flank.

“Her...Oh!” Rarity said jumping. She frowned and tapped on her chin. “Those... uhm,”

“Scars,” Fluttershy said, her eyes darting back and forth.

“Yes, scars,” Rarity replied looking down. “Could be quite troublesome if other ponies were unaware of them. I suppose she could give them a warning before the treatment. After all if she looks good, then she’ll feel good. I’m sure of it.” she shook her head. “I wanted to make her look-”

“-Pretty,” I explain grimacing.

There is a small quiet between the two of us. “And I take it that you don’t like that?”

I am really trying to avoid some bogus explanation about how I didn’t have too many female friends and because of that I never did to those things. Because that would only lead to a montage, where Twilight and company, would drag my ass off to the spa to try and get me all prettied up.

“I explained it to Rarity rather simply.” I look up at her upside down on the bed. “I have already had an extreme make over. I don’t need another one.” Twilight quirks an eye at me. She doesn’t get it. “Twilight, I might have been in this body for about four months, but I am still not used to it. I know how most of what works: works, but appearance wise? I still have a mental image of who I am.” The explanation of this like many other things smacks me emotionally a bit. “And I don’t want anyp-p-pony taking that away from me.”

Twilight looks at me as if she doesn’t know what to say. Finally she lifts a hoof and blinks. “I see...I guess this will be a problem between you two?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think it will be. I mean we can get along alright as long as we stick to artistic stuff, and she refrains from drawing me in a dress again.” I roll my eyes. Had she not been so enthusiastic, maybe things would be better. “it was nice of her, but...”

“You’re not comfortable with it,” Twilight says finishing my sentence.

“Yeah. I don’t want a dress, because A, I’ve never had to wear one. B, I just don’t want one and C, I don’t have anyplace to put it.” I tap my hooves while listing the reasons. Ugh, it’s just not the same without fingers. “And I don’t want to use any of your closet space, Twilight.”

Twilight has her hoof up and her mouth open. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes a bit. I think she gets the point that I don’t want a dress, so let’s move off that issue.

“But I think today went alright.” I turn over and open my saddlebag before nabbing my journal with my mouth. I spit it out next to me before I drool on it. “All things considered that is, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

“We’re going to have some major problems if she keeps putting up walls like this, Fluttershy. I want to get along with her. I really do, but she was blocking me at every turn. I mean really? No dresses? No makeovers? Not even a spa trip?” Rarity said as the two of them sat in the relaxing pool. “How am I to work with a pony like that? And I am to take her with me to the auction in the cities come this Monday! That’s two days away! I can’t have her going out like that! Whatever am I going to do, Fluttershy?”

“Well...” Fluttershy stopped herself mid sentence. “Oh, no..”

“What is it Fluttershy, darling? I could use any advice at this juncture!” Rarity pleaded.

“Well, it isn’t my place to say, because you’re doing the teaching here,” Fluttershy replied meekly. Rarity only responded with a desperate look. “Well, if you really want my help...”

“Yes, please!”

“I don’t really come to the spa to get prettied up, I mean, it’s nice to look... nice,” Fluttershy attempted to explain. “And while I come here to spend time with you, I also come here to make sure things are... healthy.”

“Healthy?” Rarity asked.

“Oh yes!” Fluttershy said, nodding. “Aloe and Lotus are trained in a bit of the medical field, I mean they have to be. After all, what if a customer comes in and something happens to them?! They need to know what to do, plus if they find something while they are attending to you, then they can bring it to your attention and maybe, in turn...uhm...well to a doctor?” Fluttershy said fumbling at the end.

Rarity blinked. She hadn’t thought about some of the added health benefits of spa treatments when she was talking with Heartbreak. “You bring up some excellent points, Fluttershy. Thank you!”

Fluttershy merely smiled. “Anytime.”

Ends Justifying the Means

Chapter 22

Ends Justifying the Means

What?! I turn to the window next to me and catch the slight reflection. There are slight blushes on my cheeks. How the fuck does blush go through fur like this? I... don’t... know... But fuck! FUCK! FET! I need to do something about this! Anything! I cough harshly. "I am not.” Yup, denial, that’s sure to work. Jeez, I feel like an idiot... “But back to the topic about stars and what I was going with about their light..."

Starchaser rolls her eyes and smirks, her voice almost turning musical. "Whatever you say, darling...” She looks thoughtfully over what I have just said. “Well, yes, they do produce light, but it is awfully faint. Though some of them also appear to move at times. If we watch them carefully, it seems that they tend to have a pattern of sorts."

I feel like I’m getting talked down to. I know that stars produce light, I know it’s faint and I know if you watch the stars long enough, they appear to move in the sky. Darn it, H.B.! Bite your tongue here! Be nice and make her think that you are only slightly ignorant of the subject. “After all, once ponies find their special talent, they start studying the shit out of it and then don’t expect any other pony to take interest in their field of interest, if that field of interest is outside their special talent...” Ugh, overly complex and wordy thought is overly complex and wordy. I eye myself in the window again. Whew, good the, ‘blush,’ is gone. Alright, let's get those seeds of wonderment going.

"I only ask cause back in school, the chemistry teacher did an experiment where he burned different chemical salts, containing different metals. They would burn at different colours. We could look at the light produced through special filters and see these different band.. Stripes of colours, and it would identify the metals being used. You think you could do that with star light?"

I watch her expression... I really hope I don't get burned at the stake for being a witch or something... or heretic.. yeah, heretic is a better word.

Starchaser taps her hoof on her chin and her ears point straight up. "Hrm... possibly... I'd have to check with the Royal Canterlot University, I'm afraid I don't have the materials for something of that scale, but if we focus it sufficiently then..."

Whoot! No burning at the stake for being a heretic! "Maybe a long term exposure? Uhm, seeing that you are going to be in Ponyville, and if we might bump into each other, maybe we could work on it together?" I ask. HA! Rarity says that I can’t have a normal conversation, eh?

“Just as long as she doesn’t find out that it was you who nearly clipped her wings that day,” What? You think I am just going to bring that up in casual conversation brain? Uhm, hello? No. “The others might accidently let it slip...” Look brain, I am sure that Twilight and her friends are smart enough to not let something that would cause a horrible light to be cast over their precious pretty, pretty princess cake-eater. But... yeah, I guess mentioning it to them to make sure they don’t let it slip would be a good idea...

"Oh, are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want to be a bother, I'm sure you're busy with your... art and stuff... not that I'd mind the company or anything!" She replies enthusiastically. Maybe a little too enthusiastically. Then again, she’s moving to a new place from everything she knows. And, ‘lucky me,’ I’m the first, ‘pony,’ she’s met from there. I just hope this doesn't turn into something I will regret.

"Uhm. It's no bother... I don't do much... I am kinda in the middle of things... you know, finding myself and trying to figure things out... The only reason I am on this train is because the others feel I need a house, and we're going to some auction in some city to see if we can get a deal on a house or some streusel.... They won't even tell me what city we're going to..."

Starchaser nods. "Oh, finding a home is always nice." She tilts her head. "Why didn’t they set you up with an appointment with Rael? That seems like it would be easier...”

Do I have to make up a reason for this? No, there’s some truth in the explanation I can give. “I don’t currently have a job or stable form of income... And if you don’t have either of those things? Finding an actual place to live and not a, uhm, ‘group home,’ or other ponies that will give you a h-hoof till you get standing are pretty much your only options,” I finally admit scratching my head. “Well... they’re my only options...” I really hope she doesn’t judge me for that. Canterlot ponies tend to be the rich snobby type that might say, ‘Let them eat cake.’ “So, the p-ponies I’m with are hoping that we’ll find something at an auction that we’re going to.”

“An auction? At this time of year and they won't tell you...?" She rummages in her bag, pulling out a map of the train routes. Yes! And opportunity to beat that marshmallow at her own game! "Well, based on the direction of travel and the distance, number of stops, etc., I believe we're headed for... wait, it's not a surprise for you, is it? I wouldn't want to spoil anything." She pulls it back a bit.

Blinking I think about my drink on the other table. I hope there wasn’t any real magic in that drink. Cause I’m feeling... bubbly. Maybe it’s getting out and actually talking to some... pony outside of the small circle of Twilight and her friends. But I would rather not risk this strain of thought going through my head. I mean, I could say, ‘nah,’ and shrug it off, but seeing what happened the last time I did that? No, I’m going to ask Pop Fizz the next time she comes by.

“Well, you see...” I try to get a look over the map and only see a few stops before she pulls it away. Come on! I just want to know where we are going!

"You know, if your friends are keeping it as a surprise, I really shouldn't spoil it... after all, anticipation is half the fun!” She smiles, folding up the map.

“Well... I wouldn't call them ...fffriends... they're more like teachers." I almost say this without thinking. It’s like I’m unconsciously distancing myself from even Twilight and crew. Wow... I hadn’t even thought about how the girls would feel if I lost any of my memories... would they even take care of me? Could I take care of myself? I didn’t have too much of a focused thought about this when Twilight suggested me using my journal... but I didn’t think about it all in too much depth.

Starchaser puts her map back in her saddle bags. "Then I'm sure it's part of an important lesson!"

Son of a bitch. Well, I totally screwed that up. And if I get all defensive or angry at her for this, she's going to tell the others... or get angry about it and do a Rarity on me... then I'll be totally alone with my thoughts in this cart. My miserable, horrible, depressing thoughts. And I hate to admit this - despite the fact that I have shared what some would call, ‘just five minutes of screen time,’ with this individual - Star does kinda, sorta, maybe, might be, could be, perhaps is, somewhat is an interesting-ish individual. "Y-y-yeah I guess you're right... it just being foreign to Equestria makes it hard for me not to ask questions..."

==============================================================

Starchaser's eyes lit up. “A foreigner!? I wonder where she’s from? She doesn’t sound like she is from Prance or anywhere really far away. But oh, this is so exciting!” "You're foreign?! Where are you from? I don't get to travel much. Please tell me all about it!"

Heartbreak nearly jumped away from the overly enthusiastic mare. "Eeep!”

Starchaser blinked at the sudden skittish behavior. “Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?”

Heartbreak rubbed her ankle against her neck. “No, you’re going to have to forgive me. I’m from... Minneighsota. It's in the far north from the Crystal Empire. It's cold and has lots of lakes. We've been isolated for a long time and pretty closed off.... both in mind set and in location. Magical ice blocks... Only recently anyp-pony realizes that there was something up there and that we could get messages out. But being pretty xenophobic they are very reluctant to let outsiders know anything..."

“There are places to visit in the frozen wastes?!” Starchaser nodded along. "Min-neigh-sota? I have never heard of such a place...”

“It’s a place with a weird history that I don’t really want to go into right now,” Heartbreak quickly interjected. “It’s really long and complicated, I’m sure that the next stop is pretty soon and if you’re going to be around Ponyville anyway? I don’t see any reason to overload you with such things...”

Starchaser nodded. This was the most odd conversation she had had with anypony. But... Heartbreak seemed an overall nice pony. Not like some of her, ‘friends,’ in Canterlot that sometimes pretended as if she didn’t exist at all... “I have not heard of much up there... must be very cold, unless you have some sort of magical field to protect yourselves... does seem an odd place... I'd love to visit it sometime.” She grinned at a passing idea in her head. “ Tell you what, I'll show you around Canterlot some time and you can show me Minneighsota some time as well! It'll be fun!"

"That... that might be hard to do. The ice has refrozen and cut Mineighsota off for a while...” Heartbreak replied looking apprehensive. “Plus there isn't anything that is very interesting up there. Just lots of snow and ice along with old prejudices regarding other ...tribes up there. I got out cause I was one of those younger p-p-ponies who question that sort of nonsense and recognizes that it only will lead to stagnation... I think that the only time that it will even be open again is in a year... such a long ways away..."

"Well, I can wait... especially if it means a chance to see the auroras from that far north!" Starchaser clapped her hooves in excitement. "I bet it's beautiful up there! And with it being so isolated, I bet the view of the sky is simply to die for!" Her ear twitched. “How could they sustain a proper education system up that far north for so long? Though... that could explain the odd notion that the stars are suns... Oh my, what a silly theory! However would they move!? Intertribal prejudice? That hasn’t existed since before the time of the Princesses! How long could they be isolated for? Oh! This is so exciting! Not even a day out of my observatory and I have met a mare of mystery and intrigue!”

Just then the time that a bell went off in the train car. The conductor comes into the cart. "Next stop... Bumbuck! Tickets ready! Tickets ready!"

==============================================================

Star is giving me a weird look. Or weird as I define it. She is resting her head upon her hooves and smiling at me. I seriously hope that she doesn’t really go looking for Minneighsota. I would hate to be responsible for one of these ponies deaths... particularly a frozen death involving a wild goose chase for a place that doesn’t exist... "Well... it was really nice to talk to you, Star. I guess this is where you are getting off, I mean if you want to head back to Ponyville."

"Oh... right, I need to tell the conductor I missed my stop." She noses into her bag, producing a ticket marked from Canterlot to Ponyville. "Well, that'd probably be best, make sure to look for me when you get back from your little trip! Hopefully I won't be in the hospital again..."

In the hospital? I feel the need to inquire a bit more about that... no. If I see her again in Ponyville... maybe... but that all depends on what happens in the mystery city that we’re going to. The conductor looks at me. Shit! My ticket! "Uhm, my ticket is with Rarity... fet... I don't... know.. "

The conductor smiles at me. He reminds me of a grandfather-like figure. Which isn’t all good, but isn’t all bad. "It's alright, I already talked to the pony in question, so you're alright regarding your ticket. Though next time you might want to ask her for your ticket, instead of having her hold on to it."

Starchaser winks at the Conductor. "It's because her destination is a surprise for her! Oh right! I completely missed my stop back in Ponyville, so can I get let off here?"

“I know all about the surprise destination for this particular pony in question.” He grins and looks me in the eye winking. Alright, kinda creepy. “Miss Rarity was apt to make a particular note that I am not to tell you where we’re going.” Fuck. And fuck you Rarity... is this some sort of game to you now? ‘How long can we keep H.B. in the dark?’ I just wish she would tell me already instead of playing this little game. I mean the game will be lost if I hear the name in passing conversation! The conductor turns his attention to Starchaser. "That you can, miss. Just talk to the pony at the gate and they'll get you a return ticket free of charge. Please, excuse me," He moves to the next cart. “Now arriving in Bumbuck! Now arriving in Bumbuck!” He calls out moving to the next cart.

"Oh, thank you!" She smiles at me. I got her to smile at me and even have a, ‘normal,’ conversation. Ha! Take that stay puff-marshmallow butt! "Well, hope to see you in Ponyville!" She gathers up her supplies her quills, pens scrolls and parchments before almost half haphazardly putting them in her saddlebags. A small peal of envy curls through me as I watch her using her wings a bit like secondary fingers.

"Yeah,” I scoot out of my seat and walk back to my old seat. “See you around. And think about what I said about starlight!”

“I think I will!” She replies walking out the door.

I slip back into my old seat and look at my drink. It’s still fizzing and bubbling. A small wave of panic hits me about my saddlebags. Wait. Still there. I take a deep breath. Good, last thing I need is losing everything I own on the train to Nowhere, Equestria. I take a good long deep sip of my drink. A nice cherry-vanilla rush hits me and the cup is nearly drained. Yeah, this conversation was everywhere and it did happen just to spite Rarity, but I... I feel good that it happened. Even if it does raise a good number of questions.

Just then a line of new passengers start to file into the cart, I try to not pay them any mind. They put their belongings in the overhead compartments and then all start heading out the same way that Spike went when he left. “Must be heading to the dining cart.” I feel the hollow ache that comes just before a stomach sets to rumbling. “I should head that way myself shortly...” I close my eyes and smile a bit. “Yeah, I think I like how that conversation went though...”

Just then, I hear the sound of cushions from the other side of the table deflate a bit as they are sat upon. Fuck, come on, one conversation with a random pony is all I can- Upon opening my eyes I see who it is. Rarity. Great... No, wait! Rarity! Great! HA! I did it, marshmallow!

She looks indigent and narrows her eyes at me. “So,” she begins.

“So,” I reply smugly. Yes, I can be smug about this. Looking around I am half tempted to just rub it in her face. ...Wait, what the fuck? I never used to feel that way about things. That’s what horrible jocks and assholes do. But still, I feel like I accomplished something. And besides, how would Starchaser feel about being used like that?

“What was that all about?” She finally asks.

Put it tactfully, H.B. Don’t lose your cool here. “Oh, nothing. I just wanted to know what time it was and didn’t see the clock on the wall. So, I woke up the p-pony behind me and asked.” Fet. Stop sounding like a snide matter of fact bitch, H.B. Tone it down...

“You were sitting there for quite some time to merely ask for the time...” Rarity replies looking at me questioningly.

“Well if you must know,” Calmly, calmly. Don’t sound too excited. I don’t want her actually knowing that I did kinda sort of enjoyed parts of the talk, “we had a small conversation too. A perfectly normal conversation,” I reply as neutrally as I can. “She’s moving to Ponyville from Canterlot and is a celestial cartographer. Her name is Starchaser.” Yeah! Ha! I learned about some random pony and was able to hold a conversation with them! Now what, Marshmallow Fluff!?

Rarity takes a sip off her drink and peers at me. “Was that all you learned?” She asks me.

“No, I learned more. Like how Equestria is stuck in the Dark Ages of science and progress... Unless everything here is based on the laws and rules of a roleplaying game... or the actual rules and laws set up by Lauren Faust...” “Other than the fact that she is going house hunting in Ponyville? Yes. Did I mention that we had a relatively normal conversation?”

Rarity sets her drink down before looking up at me.

“I knew you could do it, H.B.” She says, smiling coyly.

Her words and expression hit me like a cold hard smack to the face. Son. Of. A. Bitch. I’ve been played again.

Author's Note

Fet, forgot a drawing for this chapter too. Next chapter and many after that will have art. I just can't think of anything off the top of my head for it.

Three Little Fillies From School Are We

Chapter 34

Three Little Fillies From School Are We

The questioning, ‘you can’t be serious,’ look hasn’t left Rarity’s face the whole time we have looked at this place. This... place... I almost don’t want to think of this place as my, ‘home,’ yet. Sure, it’s my house? But right now? We’re still getting used to each other. We’re strangers. Hello House, my name is Heartbreak. I would like it if you called me, ‘H.B.’ I’ll be living in you for at least a year.

“Well...” Rarity is looking apprehensive about the prospect of actually going inside the house. And I can’t blame her. The whole of this house seems like one big death trap. Then again, maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe the house looks more of a mess on the outside than it does the inside. But there’s only one way to find out. She lets out a long sigh. “I suppose that a quick look on the inside wouldn’t hurt. It can’t be any more beastly than the outside.”

Gee, thanks Rarity. I haven’t moved in and already you’re complaining about the state of my house.
“You mind getting the door? I’m not sure if it’s locked or not,” I tap on the door again. This time, it slowly opens with a wide disturbing, ‘creeeeeeak.’ Oh yeah. There’s another cliché on the list. “Oh, never mind! We’ll have to add, ‘locks,’ on the list of things that need to be checked I suppose.”

Rarity looks at me with a frightened expression. “Are you sure you want to check the inside now, dar-”

“Rarity, you’re doing that over use of, ‘darling,’ again. I get that it’s your, ‘thing,’ but it’s almost as bad as when Rainbow Dash overuses the word, ‘awesome.’” I say, peering through the doorway. There isn’t much sunlight coming into the house from this angle. I’m not terribly sure which way the face of the house is pointed, direction was never my strong suit, but it seems to be pointed toward the sun currently. “And unless there really are, ‘pony-ghosts,’ lurking around? I’m pretty sure that we are safe, m’kay?” I look at her.

“Well, one never knows what could be lurking in strange houses at the edge of the Everfree Forest, H.B.” Rarity replies, looking around her hooves clattering nervously on the back door patio.

I roll my eyes and walk through the doorway. “Well, I’m going in to explore my new house. I’m sure you can stay out in the backyard,” I perk my head back through the doorway. “All by your lonesome self.” I duck back through the doorway before ducking right back out. “With whatever else has crept its way from the Everfree Forest.” I duck in and out of the house again. “You know the one that is-”

“Alright! Alright! You’ve made your point already!” She follows me in. “There really wasn’t any need to hammer it in like that!”

“Maybe not, but I didn’t want you just hanging in the backyard...” I half expect the doorway to slam shut behind us. Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait... for... it? House; I am disappoint. I turn around and start looking at what’s all here. I quickly turn and look at the backdoor. It still hasn’t slammed shut.

“Dar- Uhm, I mean, H.B, what are you doing?” Rarity asks me.

“Another thing to add to the list... The hinges either need oiling or replacing. That door should have slammed shut and startled us by now,” I sigh. Oh well. Straight in front of us is a long hallway that leads directly to the front door. And just to the left is a stairway leading upstairs. There are small tables and pictures hanging on the walls that are covered in dusty white sheets. An over all musty smell permeates the air.

I peek my head through the hallway that is to my left. There are two doors here, one looks like it is leading to a bedroom and the other looks like it might be the bathroom.

“Ugh, the first thing this place needs is a good dusting,” Rarity says as she walks behind me.

“Yeah... But all that can wait...” I decide to take a stroll down that hallway. Old pictures and and a table with several oddities litter this area too. I tap the bathroom door. It stubbornly stays closed. “Hmmm...”

“Here, allow me,”Rarity says, turning the knob with her magic.

“Another thing to replace. Doorknobs. I want something more lever like...” I say absent mindedly. “And... thank you, Rarity.”

Walking into the dark bathroom, it looks like nothing special; particularly with there being a lack of light here. I reach my hoof around the corner and search around for any form of lightswitch. After a few second of fumbling, I hit something that I think is one. The lights turn on and start flickering.

“Oh good, this place has electrical power still,” I quip in surprise. The light flickers and strobes a bit. “Sort of...”

“For this place being as old as it is, that’s quite impressive,” Rarity pulls the shower curtain away and suddenly lets out an ear piercing scream.

==============================================================

Heartbreak jumped back and ran into the bathroom sink. “Gaaaah! Rarity! What the Fet!?”

Rarity looked at Heartbreak in fright. “T-t-there was a rat in the tub!” She stammered out.

Heartbreak’s face drooped. “Really? A rat?” She looked over into the tub. “I don’t see a rat, Rarity. All I see is a rather dirty bathtub.”

“It was there! Maybe it scurried into that crack in the wall!” Rarity protested. “Can’t we wait till the inspector gets here to look around?” She looked at Heartbreak pleadingly.

Heartbreak frowned and sighed before rubbing her temple.

“H.B, I know you want to look around,” Rarity turned to Heartbreak. “But don’t you think would be safer if we waited for the inspector to arrive?”

Heartbreak took a deep breath. “And here I was going on about you pushing me out of my comfort zone...”

“Beg your pardon?” Rarity asked confused.

“Right, I was starting in the middle of a thought, you’re going to have to forgive me. I do that sometimes. Get it from my grandfather,” Heartbreak looked at the crack in the wall. “You told me that I don’t pay enough attention to body language, I’m paraphrasing mind you, but I have been watching everything you have been doing from the moment we arrived here.” She looked directly at Rarity. “And everything you have been doing says, ‘I don’t want to be here.’”

Rarity pulled back. “It’s not that, H.B. Dar-”

“It’s ok, Rarity. If you don’t want to be here, then you don’t have to be,” She made a double check down that small crack in the wall over. “It’s creepy, kooky, mysterious and spooky...” She snickered and face hoofed. “Covered in cobwebs, dust and what have you. Hmmm,” she looked thoughtful. “When I get the chance, I think I am going to rename this place, ‘Addams Family Manor...”

“Bwha? Is that some sort of joke? Because you’re neither an, ‘Addams,’ nor do you have a family...” Heartbreak shrugged at Rarity’s question. “Though that’s beside the point! This place is most likely dangerous! Darling, why don’t we-” Just then, an old grandfather clock started to chime sending Rarity into another fit of shrieks, one for each sounding of the hour.

“Well, at least the clock still works,” Heartbreak said rubbing her ears. “Ouch...”

Rarity giggled nervously. “Sorry, but-”

“It’s ok, Rarity. If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be. We’ve spent several days together and maybe you should head back to Ponyville to unwind...” Heartbreak said sighing a bit.

“B-b-but you were so insistent on me helping you get here! What if something happens?” Rarity asked fretted.

“Rarity...” Heartbreak gave Rarity a patient but tenuous look that said, ‘you’re starting to push it, marshmallow.’

Rarity’s ears drooped. “I’m only looking out for your safety and well being, dar- H.B. And it seems odd that you would want me to walk you all the way here, only to have me leave so-”

Heartbreak smiled a little bit and put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. She jumped in surprise at the gesture. “And that’s very kind of you to be thinking of me. But, I’ll be fine. I just want to look around more, explore what’s here. Get used to the place, maybe even nap on one of the beds here. I’m sure you have things to do at your shop, and I don’t want to keep you. Look, if you’re really worried about just leaving me here, you can come back at noon and we can go have lunch.”

Rarity looked stunned at the display of affection and adult like suggestion. “I-if you think that’s best... and you’re sure that you’ll be alright.”

“Come on Rarity, it’s not like I’m going to fall off of the face of Equestria or anything.” Heartbreak replied.

==============================================================

“An then what happened?” Applejack asked.

“Well,” Rarity took a deep breath as she folded her arms on the kitchen table before she laid her head down. “I left her there, promised to be back at noon, went back to my shop, saw that Spike had neatly organized my belongings and then came to the library. I would have gone to the spa to talk things out, but...”

“You just didn’t feel like it?” Twilight blinked as she pulled a bottle of apple juice from the refrigerator. “Wow, it must be serious if you’re turning down an opportunity to go to the spa...” She floated the drink over to her friend while popping the cap. “But no, ‘long goodbyes?’ Awkward conversations? Continued arguments?”

“None whatsoever! I dare say that while I was walking back? I was both relieved and worried at the same time! I half expected her to come screaming out of the house with some terrible swarm of something chasing after her!” Rarity said, her mane starting to look frazzled. “There’s no telling what else could be currently occupying that house. As I said, there are broken windows and a hole in the roof!”

Applejack chuckled. “Hole in the roof...”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, H.B. found that rather amusing also...” She shook her head. “But I must confess to you both, I haven’t the slightest clue how you were able to handle, let alone, get her to learn a lesson! She’s so hard to predict! First she’s hot and then cold. Yes, and then no. Up and then down... She can’t make up her mind whether she’s in or out!”

Twilight flicked her mane and sat down at the table. “This is H.B. we’re talking about here, Rarity.”

“Yeah,” Applejack looked at her apple juice and took a long drink off it. “Ya didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did ya?

Rarity looked up, blinked and then chuckled. “You know, for a second there, yes, I almost did. Especially when she saw her new house. I know that we all thought that the small house that was in the middle of Ponyville and close to the library was perfect-”

“Ah didn’t,” Applejack interrupted. “Then again, ah wasn’t part of that fancy little dream shindig that ya’ll were havin’ with Princess Luna. An’ even if ah was, ah’m not sure that it would have been either.”

Rarity chuckled. “Right, but still... The lesson was practically right there in front of her! Granted that I could have prompted her and asked what she had learned from all this, but I am not sure how these things work... How did you two ever get anything through that thick skull of hers!?”

Twilight and Applejack looked at each other with a bit of concern.

“What is it?” Rarity asked.

“Well...” Twilight began.

“Yes?” Rarity asked, leaning on the table with her eyes growing wide.

“Funny ya should ask that, Rarity,” Applejack continued. “Cause ya see...”

“We were just talking about that before you got here,” Twilight said tapping her hoof on her chin. “And we’re not quite sure how we did it either.”

Rarity looked at her friends pleadingly. Twilight and Applejack only continued their questioning look. Rarity blinked.

“Oh come now! Surely you have some idea upon how you both were able to get a lesson across without just spelling it out to her!” Rarity cried in desperation.

“Well there was one thing that I noticed,” Twilight tapped her chin. “And I hate to admit this but... I didn’t actually do anything.”

“Ah kinda had the same problem there Twi’. Ah mean she came ta the farm, Ah had her doin’ things, an’ then out of the blue she learns a lesson!” Applejack said. “Shoot! Crab Apple was more of a help than ah was with ma, ‘ya need ta remember ta be honest with yerself,’ yammer!”

“Come to think about it,” Twilight blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Spike was more help than I really was.”

Rarity shook her head. “So... What you’re both saying is that I have to let her come to whatever lesson she is meant to learn on her own?”

Applejack could see the apprehension on Rarity’s face. “More like... well... When Ah was listenin’ ta what yer time with H.B? Ah was seein’ a lot of, ‘Ah think ya oughta do this,’ an ‘Ah wanta give ya that’,” She rubbed the back of her neck before looking at Rarity again. “Why not try a different approach? Instead of goin’ out an full forcin’ her ta do things, why not ask her what she wants ta do?”

“Darling! I already did that with her, ‘can you please give me options,’ thing.” Rarity sighed. “I tell you, And in the end of all this? She still blew up at me! Well almost blew up at me.” She shook her head. “And then like I told you both, Ditzy Doo showed up.”

Twilight nodded. “I told you about how she raced off just to get Ditzy’s autograph, right?”

“Yes you did, darling.” Rarity replied nodding before slamming her hoof on the table. “Ugh!”

“Hey! Rarity!” Applejack nearly shouted, protecting her apple juice. “Now what’s got yer knickers in a knot?”

“It’s just that I can’t believe that I am playing second fiddle to somepony like...” Rarity threw her hooves in the air. “Derpy! I don’t mean to sound... whiny, but it just feels...”

“It is what works for her, Rarity. Try not to take it personally,” Twilight said putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “For whatever reasons that not even I’m comprehending, she really likes Derpy. But, Applejack does have a point. Offering her a dress was a very generous thing to do, though maybe you should try to offer her some other article of clothing.”

“She’ll most likely reject anything I try to offer her,” Rarity replied, frumping, Twilight gave her a sympathetic look. “Alright, I suppose asking her if there is any other sort of clothing that she would be more comfortable with would have been a much more logical thing to do. Still-”

Just then, Sweetie Belle peeked her head into the kitchen. “Rarity!!” She nearly dove into the kitchen and hugged her sister. "There you are!”

Rarity jumped and looked at her little sister. A moment of absolute joy passed through her. “Oh! Sweetie Belle! It feels like ages since last I saw you!”

Sweetie Belle smiled and continued to hug her sister. “Longest two months I’ve ever lived!” She pulled back. “I heard that you went to Whinneapolis! Did you bring me anything?”

Applejack coughed. “Whelp, lookin’ at the time, ah got ta get maself back ta the farm. Cider season is going ta be just around the corner and we need ta make sure the trees are in good shape.”

Twilight put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re a very resourceful pony. You have my utmost confidence that you’ll figure something out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few more books to go through...”

“I suppose you’re right, Twilight. And Twilight?” Rarity smiled. “Thank you.” Even though there weren’t any good solutions put up on the table, at least her friends listened to her. She turned her attention to Sweetie Belle and walked out of the kitchen.

==============================================================

With Rarity gone, I find myself feeling a bit freer in exploring this place. Well, the first floor anyhow.
I’ve found that there is a dumbwaiter that has the tantalizing possibility of turning into a pony sized elevator. I took a look at the bedroom on this floor and found an empty dresser, some bookshelves with one or two books, and a trunk that I can’t get into.

Well, not yet anyhow.

The study has a very comfortable looking chair and more bookshelves, a globe of the known Equestrian world, a few hanging objects and a mirror behind the chair. The wallpaper looks like it has been done up several times and has been layered with prior layers peeling off each other.

The kitchen has the bare necessities, a stove, a sink, and running water. Which is good because I was thirsty. I had to tap the knob a few dozen times but then the water started to run. First brown, then dirty and finally clear after about six or seven minutes.

The living room has several couches. Geez when the owners of this place passed away, they must have been loaded or just had a bunch of stuff that they couldn’t take with them. I end my tour of this floor by going back to the hallway with the bathroom in it. At the end of this hall there is a third door, that if I remember correctly, leads to the storage area.
I pull out the blueprints to this place and do a double check. “Yup, that’s the storage area.” Looking at the knob, I sigh. “I can’t wait to replace all the knobs here.” I tap the door, just in case it-

The door opens as easy as a knife going through butter. Peering my head in I look around. There are more boxes and covered objects. The dust is scattering the light and everything seems... quiet. Walking past a few of the boxes, I take a sheet off of one of them. Inside are the flash frozen memories of lives forgotten... I wonder if there are any photographs of me back home. Fuck, these thoughts are depressing. I shake my head in an attempt to clear my mind.
“I could use a break from all this...”

Just then, I see a blue glimmer out of the corner of my left eye. Looking over, I see a door that looks like it would lead outside. Walking over to it, I blink.

“Wait a second,” I take the blueprints out again. “That door isn’t here...” I tap on it to see if it will open...

==============================================================

Sweetie Belle looked heartbroken. “What do you mean you’re not sure about this month!?”

“Well, you see, Sweetie Bell, I’m currently busy with helping a pony named, ‘Heartbreak,’ get used to Ponyville! She is quite the hoof full and-”

“But I didn’t get to see you for a whole two months! And the first one was because I was traveling to Vanhoover with mom and dad!” Sweetie Belle cried as she began to stomp her hooves in the grass in front of the Library. “At the Sisterhooves Social, you said that you’d always have time for me!”

Rarity felt herself crumple a bit. “Now see here, Sweetie Belle, I will have time for you. It’s just that-”
Sweetie Belle turned her head and frumped. “That you would rather spend time with somepony else than me...” She sniffled and ran back into the library.

“Sweetie Belle! It isn’t like that at-” Rarity felt the door closing in her face. “All...” she frumped and raised a hoof to open the door when she heard somepony’s soft voice enter her ears.

“Oh! Rarity! There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you!” Fluttershy exclaimed in the quiet gentle manner that she was known for.

Rarity sighed and looked at her friend. “Oh hello, Fluttershy...”

“Is there something wrong?” Fluttershy asked tilting her head. “I haven’t interrupted something important have I? If I have, I’m sorry...”

“Oh, no... You haven’t. It just seems that I can’t please anypony today...” Rarity tilted her head. “Trouble with Sweetie Belle: she wanted to spend the day together, but I already promised H.B. that I would meet her back at her house come noon.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy looked into the window. “Is she going to be alright?”

“Yes, but I will have to apologize. You know how Sweetie Belle can be sometimes,” Rarity said sighing. “But you were looking for me, darling? What about?”

“Well, the colts and fillies from the Summer Reading Program were really wondering when or if H.B. could be reading at the library next,” Fluttershy replied smiling.

“They really enjoyed her reading to them that much?” Rarity asked.

“Oh yes, they especially liked how she would do the voices for each character,” Fluttershy replied, nodding. “Though the darling things really tuckered her out. She kept reading and reading! I almost think that if I didn’t remind them that they had to get home or their parents would be concerned about where they were, that H.B. just wouldn’t stop! One look from their adorable little faces and it was like she just couldn’t say no!”

Rarity blinked. “You don’t say...”

“Oh, but I do say! Not only that, but I think that she was much more well behaved around them. I don’t know much about her, but Twilight says that she swears a lot and says the word... uhm... well,” Fluttershy looked around and then looked down before quietly whispering “‘fet’ every other sentence!”

“Yes, she does tend to use that word quite a bit,” Rarity looked thoughtful. Did Heartbreak have a tender spot for young colts and fillies? “It would make sense, seeing her reaction to fillies like Cream Puff. And if she is better behaved, it could keep her mind calmer, thus keeping her thinking and perhaps more open to helpful suggestions. Not to mention, maybe, just maybe realizing those little lessons that she could be writing to the Princess...”

“But if she’s busy with her new house-” Fluttershy said quietly. “Then I guess we can bother her another time-”

“Oh pish-posh! She’s expecting me back there at noon and I can pass the word back to her that you were looking for her. I’m sure she’ll be delighted to hear that her favorite audience missed her and are wanting to hear her read again!” Rarity replied, waving a hoof at Fluttershy.

“Oh! You would? That would be just wonderful. Cream Puff was especially wanting to see her again. Even Mars Orange admitted that she was a much better reader than many of the other readers they’ve had.” Fluttershy said, smiling and looking pleased. “I better go tell them about this right away!”

“Yes...” Rarity tapped on her chin thoughtfully. “You go do that, I have a few things, a few errands I need to attend to before returning to H.B.’s ‘Addam’s Family Manor,’ as she’s decided to call it.”

Fluttershy blinked. “What a strange name for a house... She’s not an Addam’s nor does she have a family yet...”

“That’s what I was thinking! But...” Rarity took a deep breath and sighed. “That’s what makes her happy and it isn’t hurting anypony that she’s calling it that. Though she is going to have to tell the mail office and fill out some paperwork. Anyhow, thank you for telling me about the colts and fillies from the library, Fluttershy darling. I’ll make sure that your message is passed along!”

“Oh thank you Rarity! The Summer Reading Group will be delighted to hear it!” Fluttershy turned and went on her way.

Rarity smiled as a little plan formed in her mind about this all.

==============================================================

Sweetie Belle sighed and collapsed to the floor. “She hasn’t had time for me for a whole month! And now that she has time, she says that she has to spend it with that new pony in town! What was her name?”

“Heartbreak,” Apple Bloom replied. “Last month she spent some time on the farm doin’ chores and such ta earn some bits. Crab Apple wrote a letter ta me askin’ if she was alright. She apparently said that they could be pen-pals and that he wanted ta be called, ‘Dib,’ from now on.”

“Dib?” Scootaloo asked, turning her attention away from the section of books labeled, ‘History of Pony Sports.’ “I swear, that cousin of yours gets weirder and weirder every year.”

“Apparently it was somethin’ that Heartbreak labeled him with, an’ he liked it so much that he wanted ta keep it!” Apple Bloom replied rolling her eyes. “Anyway, seein’ that yer sister just wants to spend time with Heartbreak, what should we do taday Crusaders?”

“Maybe we should try earning our cutie marks in sports!” Scootaloo suggested enthusiastically.

“I’m not sure I’m up for any crusading today...” Sweetie Belle said distraughtly. “Besides, haven’t we done that already?”

“Ah, come on, Sweetie Belle! Just because your sister wants to spend time with that weird, creepy mare doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue looking for our cutie marks!” Scootaloo said, cheerfully patting her on the back.

“H.B. isn’t that creepy, Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said frowning.

“Apple Bloom, she has a hole drilled in her hoof. Or at least that’s what Mars told me. What kind of pony gets a hole drilled in her hoof?” Scootaloo asked, a disgusted look upon her face.

“I heard that she got it drilled at the dentist!” Sweetie Belle squeaked in astonishment.

“Where did ya hear that from?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Strawberry Sweets! Apparently the day it happened? Heartbreak came into Dr. Bright White’s office and she did something to him. Or that’s what I heard Rarity say. Then she had him drill a hole right through her hoof!” Sweetie Belle looked at her own hoof. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have that done to oneself. But it still left a weird unpleasant tingle in her hoof when she tried to.

“You know what I heard?” Scootaloo asked.

“What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I heard that she actually went to the dentist ‘cause her hoof actually had teeth!” Scootaloo said waggling her hoof at her friends.

“Now that’s just silly, Scoots. How could a hoof have teeth in it?” Apple Bloom asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, she’s apparently from that weird colony up north that’s been isolated for years. There’s no telling what strange creepy deformed ponies are up there,” Scootaloo replied.

“Ah seriously doubt that there are a bunch of mutant ponies livin’ up north in... dern it, what was it called again? Minnei- uhm... Minnei?” Apple Bloom looked at her friends.

“I think it was, Minneighsoder or something like that,” Scootaloo replied. “Either way, how do you know! They have been living in isolation for a really long time! There has to be a reason that they haven’t come out looking for help!”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a, ‘are you serious?’ face. “Come on now, Scootaloo. There has ta be a better explanation than-”

“Hello girls!” Interrupted a musical voice as Rarity stepped back into the library.

“Rarity! You came back!” Almost instantly, Sweetie Belle jumped up and trotted to her sister before hugging her tightly. And almost as quickly as she was overjoyed to see her sister, she realized that she was still upset with her and promptly turned around before crossing her hoofs. “I mean. You came back. Hmph!”

Rarity took a deep breath. “Of course I came back, why wouldn’t I come back?”

“Because you have to spend time with Heartbreak and make sure she’s alright! After all, ‘ I’m currently busy with helping a pony named, ‘Heartbreak,’ get used to Ponyville!’” Sweetie Belle mocked the way that Rarity talked

Rarity looked down sadly. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like she was more important than you, Sweetie Belle. But I promised that I would meet up with her at noon, and it’s almost that time. You wouldn’t want me to go breaking any promises, now would you?” She asked fluttering her eyes.

Sweetie Belle looked at Rarity from the corner of her eye and her arms started to uncross. “I guess not... But still! I haven’t seen you for nearly two months! Traveling with mom and dad was soooo boring! And when I came to visit you in your shop... It was like you weren’t happy to see me...”

Rarity covered her mouth and sniffled. “Oh, Sweetie Belle... Don’t ever think that I don’t have time for you... I’m so sorry that wasn’t more enthusiastic... I’ve just had a lot that has been weighing on my mind as of late. Helping a foreigner around is a rather big responsibility. But I think know how I can make it up to you...”

Sweetie Belle looked at her sister slyly. “Does it involve cake or chocolate?”

“Well, it can! I was thinking more along the lines of you helping me out with H.B!” Rarity said, smiling widely and giving a pleading expression.

“Oh...” Sweetie Belle replied crossing her hooves. “I don’t know about that... Me and the Crusaders-”

“The Crusaders and I,” Rarity corrected. Sweetie Belle gave her sister a sharp look. “Sorry, please continue...”

“The Crusaders and I had a lot of things planned for today...” Sweetie Belle said, looking at her friends.

“We did?” Scootaloo asked before Sweetie Belle elbowed her. “Oh yeah! Totally! We’re going to try to earn our cutie marks in... uhm..” She looked around the library. “Macrame!”

Sweetie Belle mentally face hoofed.

Rarity chuckled. “Well, I am sure that you could earn your cutie marks in specialized knot tying, or-” She paused.

“Or?” Scootaloo asked.

“You all three could come with me and be my assistants while we look over H.B’s new home!” Rarity replied, smiling rather wide.

Sweetie Belle rubbed the side of her face. “I don’t know... I need to talk it over with my constituents.” She had the girls huddle around her. “What do you all think?”

“Why are you asking us? She’s your sister,” Scootaloo replied.

“Ah think it could be fun. Crab Apple said that she was a nice enough pony once ya got ta know her, I think we ought ta give this a chance,” Apple Bloom replied. “Besides, Rarity seems really sorry fer the way she treated you before...”

“Yeah... I guess you’re right,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Alright, let’s do it!”
The three little fillies broke from the group.

“After much deliberation, we, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, have decided to take your offer,” Sweetie Belle said to her sister in a rather business like manner.

“Well, that’s just splendid!” Rarity replied, smirking at her sister. It was almost always adorable when she tried to act like a grown-up.

“As long as there is going to be cake!” Scootaloo interjected.

“Well, of course, there will be,” Rarity put a hoof on her chest. “But first we must go talk to H.B. and then there will be cake.”

“Alright!” Scootaloo cheered. “Lead the way!”

Rarity smiled. Surely, any plans she had to get Heartbreak to learn a lesson would succeed! There would be no way that she could resist the charms of these three fillies!

Author's Note

Tumblr Room Will be coming back on line tomorrow from those who feel that it doesn't detract from the story.

Artwork link down below. Copy Paste!

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/sabertooth1980/Chapter35ThreeLittleFilliesFromSchoolAreWe_zpsa90bb94b.jpg