Sleep, My Radiant Tear

They all weren’t afraid of me or treated me like a prince. I’m truly surprised at the fact that they were able to take the secret quite well. But, will they be ready for the things I’ve endured?

Chapter 2: Enduring Pain

As Radiant Tear slowly slept, A.I. Pinkiana’s jewelry turned blue from the sadness she’s feeling for her friend and master. She walked by the desk and pushed the chair away slowly, but making sure that it wouldn’t touch the flames of the fireplace. She couldn’t bring words to apologize for Radiant’s secretive and tired attitude, but surely his friends understood, right? It was a great possibility that they did. As she quickly finished tidying up the room, even the splattered ink on the counter at the right of the room, she sat down on the floor and the device hovering above her shot out magic toward the book, turning the page to the next chapter.

“Is…he gonna be alright?” Applejack asked Pinkiana. She looked up from the book and looked at his sleeping form.

“He…” she sighed after a moment of hesitation. “…I hope so.”

“He has to be…he’s strong willed, isn’t he?” Princess Luna asked worriedly.

“Well, that depends on his mood. He has a complex mindset that even I can’t read.” Pinkiana said, staring into the night through the window above. The light that bloomed from nothingness was still shining. “That light…is our star system, where our planet resided. It’s been gone for a long time, but time, space, and light takes a long time for it to reach to other planets for those organisms to see.”

“It’s divine and tragic. To see a beautiful light that came from a dying star.” Rarity commented.

“If only we could actually see what Nevaeh was after their life-long war. It must’ve been beautiful afterwards, right?” Princess Celestia asked Pinkiana as the group looked back toward her, awaiting the continuation.

“For every pony, I concur. But as for Radiant…we shall see…” Pinkiana began reading.

***

My birth was a blessing to both the Lunar and Radiant families, yet I was a secret to all of Nevaeh because of my small reverse resemblance to the long gone dead dictator; I had white fur, black spiky hair, red eyes and neatly-kept feathers. My father and mother spent months trying to figure out what caused me to be born a winged unicorn. They took very small samples of my blood and analyzed the genes, after they calmed me down from the needle of course. I had the same genes and such, but after a while, they found something out of the ordinary. There was another gene that gave me my resemblance. After the discovery, my parents analyzed their blood and genes and soon found out that my father was the carrier of this gene. He came to the conclusion that Dread-Light did this to him before he fell to his death, though he had no proof to show it. But it didn’t matter; I was their son, the next generation of pony-kind in Nevaeh.

Life was a happy time for me when I was a small foal. I had my first birthday with my family and a few friends of theirs. They were really surprised at the fact that I was an alicorn, but they thought that I was a really sweet colt since I was my parent’s son. The décor and scenery of my party was very enjoyable. Chocolate gourmet cake, lots of streamers and party hats, I even said my first word as I had a bit of magical outbursts as I flew. I’ll admit, I was reminded of Pinkie Pie when she took care of the foals for the Cakes family. I was really adventurous and a bit of a troublemaker that day when I played hide and seek with my family and guests.

When I was around 4 years of age, my parents began teaching me the basics of mathematics, literature, science, etc. Well, maybe not basic since I learned up to 4th grade material, but they were feeling a bit experimental since the brain of a foal is a lot adventurous than of a normal aged pony. They taught me as many things as possible, as simple as possible since I was learning basic words and small studies of phonetics. When my mother started teaching me philosophy a few months before my 5th birthday, I was intrigued. At the time I was more in depth with knowledge and she taught me how to look at things with a different perspective and an open-mind. Most ponies, she said, were a bit close-minded and would seriously defend their opinions without knowledge of what they were speaking of. So she asked me to be a very nice stallion with good morals, an open-mind and keep expanding my intelligence. As you see, I took it to heart.

I was really excited to see what things that society had to offer when I was enrolled within my parents’ university when I was 6 years old. It was just like the castle Dread-Light resided in, except brighter, redecorated with new furnishings and learning apparatus and rid of any marks of the past. The university held students from Grade 1 through Collage Leveled students, though they were separated in sections so that higher leveled students wouldn’t corrupt any minds with hatred and perversity, jokingly or not. Anyway, my parents placed me in 3rd grade, even though I learned up to 5th grade material the year before this one. So all of these colts and fillies were learning 3rd grade material while it was all review to me.

Some kids didn’t like me much because I was like the youngest bookworm to them, but I was still able to make some friends. It was a bit difficult to make friends because I was a bit shy and their inconsistency in behavior really irked me. I didn’t blame them since I was a bit mature and taught more complex things by my parents. They all were kind to me since we were taught to be kind to others if you want them to be kind. It seemed to sound like a mirror thing if you ask me. They all would ask me for help and look up to me, even though I was 6 and they were a year or two, maybe three; I forget, I knew they were older than me.

Then as we all learned history in 4th grade, all of the fillies and colts had to learn about the Lineage of Kings, a book that told the history of the kings at the start of Nevaeh’s civilization. We learned about how some stallion millenniums  ago, Blaze-Fire, infiltrated the capital of Nevaeh and killed its leaders after he forced them to write official documents and orders to not kill Blaze-Fire and listen to his every whim. He ruled with a ruthless iron hoof and made a government system that allowed slavery among the weak and other dreadful things. He called his son Dread-Fire, which started the Dread-Lineage. As we started to learn about the alicorn rulers of the lineage, colts and fillies started to see my resemblance toward them and they started to get scared of me, even my friends. Then after some time, they all wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I was a monster to them because of my opposite reflection of Dread-Light. Then during 5th grade, I met my one true friend.

Seeing her for the first time, she really wasn’t my friend since it was hard to trust anyone. She was only a year older than me; I was 8 and she was 9. Plus she was friends with those ruffians and gossipers, which added more to my paranoia of her. I didn't pay attention to her. From the best of my memory, she was a green-blue earth pony with a long topaz mane that was pulled in a knotted ponytail. A few bangs would cover her topaz eyes. She didn't have a Flank Insignia, or Cutie Mark as it’s called in Equestria.

Anyway, she was just so annoying! I remember I would take different routes to classes just to avoid this one filly. Soon she found out the routes I take and kept following me everywhere. I would seldom converse with her but no matter what I do to ignore her, she wouldn't take the hint. Then when I was in 6th grade, I learned teleportation when I was in Magic Classes. I felt a bit relieved that I learned this spell, even though it would wear me down because of energy consumption, at least I would have peace instead of bickering.

But later, her friends started being rude and uncivilized towards me. I was ridiculed because I kept avoiding her friendly advances and that has brought her unusually down. So I decided to obey and talk to her during my birthday. I went over to my lunch table, which only has her since my friends don’t talk to me anymore. She had a few boxes for me, which I assume were my presents. I opened them and got more boxes, but in neatly decorated wrappers. I opened one of them and got a small minty chocolate cheesecake. The second present contained a small mask that covered my forehead and nose. There was a red outline on the eyes while the whole mask was just white. I smiled a bit because of the intricate details that were put onto this little mask.

Then when I opened the third present, it brought me at sixes and sevens with the content. It was a simple piece of cloth. It was dark red with silver linings and sharp curled designs within the linings. I looked at her weird and she explained to me it was a cape because she thought that I was uncomfortable with my wings. I put it over my back and tied it around my neck. I trotted around the table and smiled. I really liked this small cloak. She gave me a compliment saying that it matched my eyes. I was stunned by the sudden compliment and it brought tears to my eyes. I haven’t felt happiness like this since I was a foal, when I had all my friends. I thanked her and introduced myself to her, even though she already knew my name, but I had to since I felt regret for avoiding her. She wouldn’t tell me her name because of that reason.

Eventually, I learned that Roxy was her name and soon, as we conversed with one another, I realized she was everything that I thought was perfect. She was a good friend, smart, well-mannered and open minded; which scared me since it seemed like she was a bit like me. I would seldom wear the cape and mask, but she doesn't mind since I wore on special occasions. My parents thought of her as family because she wasn't like the kids that would ridicule me due to my appearance. She even took all of the classes I had when I we were in middle school. She was even there when my wings were transformed into its metallic form; my disgusting, metal being.

I was with Roxy, studying for our exams in 6th grade literature and mathematics classes. My parents came up to me and asked if I could help them in one of their experiments. I was to fly as I normally do, along with a normal pegasus, a pegasus with abnormally long wings and another with small wings. My parents were going to record the flight session and find out what the difference of flight was between an alicorn, pegasus and abnormal pegasi wings. We began flying and it was pretty normal. I flew a bit fast, but Fly-Heart, a pegasus colt around my age with orange fur and yellow averaged- length mane and tail, flew like lightning. The other two, Pandora, a black mare with green eyes and very long wings, and Black-Veil, her twin but with short wings, were slow, but in different altitudes. Pandora was high and her twin was low, just barely off the ground. It wasn’t until 5 minutes that there was an explosion in the laboratories above us. The ceiling started to crack and every pony started to panic that it would collapse on them. I kept my cool, breathing deeply, and flew to the exit, yelling at the other ponies to get over here.

As I opened the door, the ceiling gave way and it fell. I saw a Pandora and Black-Veil huddle together, awaiting their demise or for some pony to save them. Fly-Heart wasn’t around, since he zoomed out of the door. I hurriedly flew to their side and pushed them toward the exit. We galloped toward the exit as fast as we can, avoiding any debris that either obstructed our path or is trying to crush us. I looked up above me and got knocked into the ground by a 5 pound boulder from behind. As I tried to get up, I got knocked by more debris, hindering me from exiting the room. Then, two large chunks of the destroyed ceiling landed simultaneously next to me, crushing my wings. The sudden pain from the force of the rocks piling on top of me caused me to go into unconsciousness.

Roxy and every pony within the university at the time pulled the rocks off of me. As they tried to drag me out, pain shot up through my back and I yelled at them to stop pulling. They were confused at first, but one of the little foals that was pushing the big boulders that crushed my wings asked for help. They all bucked at the debris and used magic to get it all off of me. My wings were bloody, flattened and mangled. My parents were devastated and nursed me back to health, with the exception of my wings. They paid for complex surgeries to fix it back, but it barely worked since my bones were far too broken.

So they did what they thought was better, science. They molded metallic alloys to the shape and weight of my wing bones. As they surgically replaced and implemented the alloys, they restitched and connected nerves and other things that allowed me to control my wings. It took many months of therapy and flight training to get me back to normal. It was a bit weird to fly with wings that are synthetic, but I finally got back my flight abilities back.

I first thought that my wings were beautifully crafted since my parents made it with small sophisticated designs. But other ponies really didn’t like it when I came back. They were all scared of me, fearing that I would be stronger and fearsome than Dread-Light, according to the rumors. Every pony would now avoid talking to me; even the teachers would shake when they would commend me on such a good job. So I did what I thought was best and draped the cloak Roxy made for me over my back and kept my wings out of sight as best as possible. This allayed every pony’s fear, thankfully. But Roxy didn’t like hiding my wings because she loved how they glistened in the sun and moons. As much as I wanted to listen to her and abide by the fact that I was beautiful in my own way, a lesson every pony knows, I couldn’t bring myself to stop wearing this cape. It was a prison, yet a shield. It was something I wanted to escape from it but I felt safe within the confines of the simple thick cloth and its designs.

As time went by, every pony forgot about my wings and felt more at ease around me. My parents taught me more things despite me learning in school, but it was because they believed that the teachers’ way of teaching were dull and boring compared to the way my parents taught me. If you were a teacher, you would want to leave an impression among the students to make them remember your lessons, right? That’s what my parents did when they taught me; though it was comedic and serious when they did their lessons.

They really wanted to teach me themselves, but I declined it because I wanted increase my social skills since the only friend I had was Roxy. I and she knew up to 9th grade material and we were now in middle school grade. We were growing more mature than others around us and we started…haha…it makes me blush as I say it but we became lovers. Some of the colts were envious since she was pretty much one of the beauteous pony in the university, despite her young age.

My mind ran rampant as I thought about the future for both of us: a big house that could be much grander than the university, since me and my parents live on the top floor like a penthouse, maybe a couple of kids, hopefully not an alicorn like me, playing in the backyard, and later that day, just me and Roxy alone under a gazebo in a romantic moment. I was set on that future, no matter what pressure or stress I was under. I kept it to myself because it was only a few months since we started being closer, and I felt that I shouldn’t talk about stuff like this until we were more mature in our relationship.

By the time we were in 8th grade, Roxy and I shouldn’t have been in that university anymore. We were in the top of our main course classes, except our elective classes because we were curious in other skills of the world, such as technology, music, cooking, etc. Everyone else was 13-14 years while we were 11-12 years old. Our favorite class was music since our favorite instruments were piano and strings. Every pony else were interested in loud instruments like guitar, trumpet, etc. But I didn’t mind since I believed that every kind of music was beautiful in a certain way.

I remembered when I was young; my mother would sing me her own lullaby to put me to sleep. Thinking about it now, I thought it was very beautiful, so I played the piano along with the lullaby. It was a simple rhythm but it becomes dramatic at the middle and fades away at the end, like a memory. I let Roxy sing the lyrics because it was a bit too high for me to sing, so I sung harmony while she sang the melody. I think every pony liked it, though it sounded really sad. It was in the key of G on the minor scales, which were my favorite kind of scales.

Leaving middle school and going into 9th grade was hard for me and Roxy. We were separated from each other and had to take classes with ponies of the same gender. Now, at this time, I was a bit more social now, but they were seriously immature than I am. You would expect that high school students were more mature, but that fact is deadly false. They only act mature when a stallion or mare that is unknown and older than them and of authority is present within their presence.

All these colts talk about is mares, hate, and sports, adding a lot of profanity in their sentences. I strayed away from those groups and stayed to myself unless spoken to. But when they do speak to me, it’s because they wondered why I wore my cape and why I dated Roxy. It was obviously out of the question that I didn’t answer the first question, but the second question was because I and she had some things in common. We were younger than most ponies in our grade, extremely intelligent, and were very open-minded. Those were the only questions they would ask me that I find rational, other than that, I will not say the other things they’d ask me; you know why.

When I and Roxy do see each other, it’s either in the halls or out of school. But these darn ponies would start whistling and such at her, sometimes the mares would do it to me but seeing Roxy react the first time, I think she made her point. One day though, something unimaginable happened; something I never thought would happen. I was walking Roxy home from the university, since she lived a mile away from the school. As we walked, a few colts, an earth pony, a unicorn, and pegasus, from our grade came out from an alleyway in front of us. One of them threatened me to go back home and leave Roxy right where she was. I didn’t understand at first, but then it hit me. They wanted to have their way with her! It was very sickening and I strongly declined. I wanted to solve this out in a diplomatic matter, but they wouldn’t listen to reason when all three of them attacked me. I had no chance fighting against them as I was thrown to the floor. I looked at Roxy, scared, alone, and crying from a distance. She cried for help, but one of the assailants formed a barrier with his horn, restricting any pony from interfering. After they finished beating me down, they started whispering what they were going to do with her after they would kill me.

Eternity passed as all of my senses left me as they told me these horrible things. Adrenaline filled my whole body, masking the pain that I was feeling from the beating. I screamed in animalistic rage before my wings stretched out, making my cape fall off, and my horn was sparking dangerously with deadly volts of magic. I couldn’t control my body; it was as if some evil spirit was controlling me. All I did was watch as their faces contorted in fear and their bodies shook violently from my steel wings and barbaric behavior. I stood there for what felt like many years until I stepped forward in a sudden motion, causing them to screamed and run, after the unicorn broke the barrier. It was foolish how they ran to the back of the alleyway, having nowhere to turn. As they were cornered, they pleaded for life and promised to go far away from here. My mind started thinking that they would go far within the afterlife as my horn started charging its magic. They closed their eyes as my horn was glowing violently bright white.

Right before I shot the deadly spell, Roxy pushed me down toward the ground. My horn aimed up and shot toward the sky, nearly hitting her. Every pony watched the spell launch up into the sky and it blew up in a small sparkling explosion. Confusion ran among the crowd and they all laughed. That was, until a sound that emitted from the spell. It was as loud as a thousand furious souls that created a giant thunderstorm. But there was a subtle cackling among those sounds that only I seemed to have heard. No one was worried about the cackling but the giant booming noise was enough to scare them. But, I was more scared than they were. I finally was able to take control of my body and I was shaking, scared of that power that I was able to pour out without any knowledge of it.

I slowly got up and picked up my cape, draping it back on my back in shame. I looked at the three assailants in disgust, making them cower a bit. Roxy walked beside me as I took her home. The crowd backed far away from me while some followed, albeit for a short time before I noticed. She was also scared to talk to me. I couldn’t blame her since that spell almost killed her. I couldn’t bring out words to express my remorse and sorrow, so all I did was give her a quick kiss and flew back home after I dropped her off. I couldn’t face her or any pony after that incident, so I just shut myself from the world and decided to work alongside with my parents in their scientific experiments. It hurts just writing this all. The memories are constantly flooding my mind; all of my doubts, fears and dreams too. I wanted to fit in, but no matter what, the path that I had taken left me miserable. I’m sorry. I just wish I could be a likable pony to you all. I’m sorry Nevaeh. I’m sorry…

***

Pinkiana stopped reading and inspected the last page of the chapter. All it contained was drawn images, remorseful messages asking for forgiveness and tears that melted within the threads of the papers. She just stared into the paper, having flashes of Radiant’s memories before her eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Princess Luna asked worriedly. Pinkiana shook her head and looked up from the paper. She simply declined and said nothing was wrong. The princess saw through the ruse and stood up, curious at what made the holographic pony stop reading. She only caught a glimpse of it all before it was closed hurriedly.

“…I…I’ll show you to the guest quarters.” Pinkiana said, standing up and trotting to the door. Every pony followed her lead quietly, fearing that they might awaken Radiant Tear. They conversed quietly among themselves after the door to his chamber was closed.

“How can Radiant, of all ponies, suffer something like that? It can’t be real.” Twilight objected at the whole story as they all walked along the glistening red pathway.

“I wasn’t created at the time. But I was told of this by his parents themselves. But I digress. The next chapter is about his life in seclusion, creating me, and the beginning days of the Destructive Collapse. I won’t say no more.” Pinkiana responded. She turned left, off of the pathway and past the entrance of the laboratory. They discovered another grand door, but it was a bit smaller than the chamber door to Radiant’s room. Pinkiana raised her hoof and simply touched it, creating a faint pink glow upon the door. Nothing spectacular happened, for only a door handle popped out of the side.

“Aww, I was expecting something better than that.” Pinkie Pie said sadly. Pinkiana giggled a little and opened the door, revealing a room with a kitchen, complete with many dishes, bowls, jugs, and cups along the counter. The oven had eight gas heaters on top, with a grill separating them into four units. A door led to another room unknown to the group, but they could guess that it led to the fridge and freezer with the haze upon the window. That was all on the right of the room, but the left of the room had furnishings of a dining room and living room combined. Many comfy, luxury chairs circled around a giant table and a few sofas were lined along the wall, facing an Equestrian television.

“This is quite…luxurious.” Princess Luna and her sister were getting a bit suspicious at the whole scenery that they were all in. But every pony else didn’t seem to mind.

“I know it’s too much, but Radiant wanted to do this. This was one of the dreams that he envisioned for him, family and friends.” Pinkiana explained. “The bedrooms are in the door beside the TV. I’ll be in Radiant’s chambers, in case he needs me. Good night.” And with that, she disappeared and the disk she was being projected from hovered out of the room.