Sleep, My Radiant Tear

Loneliness clouded the depths of my mind. No therapy or medication could ever fix this broken shell of a pony.

Chapter 5: Eye of the Storm

After a few weeks of recovering from the breakdown, Radiant Tear was released from the hospital and was allowed to return home. He seemed happier and social than ever before. As the days passed, he noticed a few ponies from town entering his domain to read some of the books of Nevaeh’n culture. His assistant, A.I. Pinkiana, explained that Rarity and Twilight Sparkle somehow slipped out a few words about Radiant Tear and his underground library and laboratory and now there’s some ponies visiting. As more and more comes to visit, he decided to buy more provisions to make his guests feel more comfortable. It wasn’t much of a hassle to get it all together  with the money he had left over from his time being Ruby Shine. As he was in his room, taking a break from revisiting theories from Nevaeh’n scientists to experiment theories of life taking form from thoughts and mind, called tulpas, A.I. Pinkiana’s voice from the speaker on his desk emitted.

“Radiant. It appears that the Princesses of Equestria and the rest of the company have come to listen to the rest of the story, as per your request. Are you fit to read today?” Pinkiana briefed him as he was in his room, away from the cluttering guests roaming his library. Radiant Tear looked up from his book and nodded, smiling at the good news.

“I’m feeling fantastic. Can’t leave a cliffhanger like that. I guess we should close down our little library for the day.” Radiant responded as he placed a bookmark on the page of a book entitled Dante’s Inferno. The sun was shining at its highest peak and Pinkiana helped ushered the ponies out of the cavern before bringing in company. As they walked along the red carpet, adorned with regal design, they noticed that the place was more luxurious and lively. Bathrooms and dispensers were made to accommodate the guests as they come to learn about Nevaeh and its culture and technology. As the group walked into Radiant Tear’s room, everything was neat and tidy instead of messy and ink blotches splattered around the corners of the room. He greeted them with hugs and smiles and sat them down on the couches and bean bags that were set around the desk.

“It’s nice to see you all again. I know I’ve been busy with guests and all since I’m apparently the pony who spat in the face of death itself and lived. But enough of that now, I want to continue on with the story since I left you guys hanging after my parents and friends’ death.” Radiant’s words at the end left the ponies in confusion.

“Radiant, are you okay? You normally seem forlorn at the subject of…death.” Twilight hesitated but managed to ask him as he hummed happily, turning the pages of his book.

“Well, I’m forced to take medication to combat my devastating depression. It’s strong enough that I’m happy and moved on from the past when clearly, I am not!” He said smiling as he found the page they left on. It left a bit of a morbid and confused expression on their faces, but they shook it off and began with the next part of the story.

***

As the darkness rescinded from my vision, I see a giant room the size of a high school gymnasium. It was decorated with white colored bricks and some flags of Nevaeh's nations adorned the walls. There were no seats but only a bed with a variety of pillows and cuddling accessories, and a giant desk with lots of books. In front of that desk was a giant library that stacked up toward the ceiling. It was spacious enough so that a pegasus could fly through the aisles. The books were alphabetized and organized neatly and held almost all of the knowledge of Nevaeh and its upcoming researches. There was a television screen that was really advanced for its time and it had all the channels of my civilization, even the foreign ones. The news channel and any others that showed live events were expunged due its worthlessness; plus there were no more events that would happen, except the event of survival in which I was in. Behind me was a window that showed the outside of the space pod. The sun was flickering like a fluorescent light bulb as it was nearing the end of its life.

“I’m sorry Creator Radiant Tear.” A.I. Pinkiana formed out of nothingness right next to me. Her appearance was different before as her hair covered the left of her face and her eyes held pupils. Those eyes showed sorrow and guilt, not because of the mutual feelings we both had, but the inability of helping my parents due to the incapacities of being confined to the pod. “I wish I could’ve done something but I am locked to the mainframe.” She managed to say to me. We both watched as the sun and Nevaeh zoomed out away from us, despairing over the fact that we will never see our home again.

“How long will it take?” I asked her. She didn’t understand the question until I slowly replied back. “…to get to the nearest planet with intelligent life?”

“Calculating the speed of the space pod and the probability of finding another sentient life form, it will probably take about 1,000 years until then.” She answered as the data ran through her head and calculated in a moment. I couldn’t grasp the idea of living a thousand years within my head; it was too much of an insane idea to comprehend. “But cryostasis has hindered your aging process 100:1. Every hundred years, you age. So right now, you’re 12 years old.  By the time we reach that planet, you’ll be 22. But that’s just estimates. I’ll gladly-“

“No, that’s okay…I guess a thousand years won’t be so bad. I’m in my own mind so…can’t I just make up some form of entertainment or something?” I asked curiously, to escape the agonizing pain of emotion and horrific imagery of past events. Pinkiana sensed what I was trying to do and sighed.

“Creator, I cannot let that happen. At your current mentality, you’ll become lost in series of illusions to lose yourself from the business at hand. There is preparation that needs to be done. The pertinent knowledge you’ll need to have to keep Nevaeh alive.”

“The heck do you mean by that? Do you mean I’m forced to learn ALL of the intelligence of that cursed chaotic world?”

“Not all of it. Only the necessary things, like science, survival, logic, literacy, mathematics, all the necessities. It’s all listed in order of importance as per your parents’ instructions. You learned most of the things due to your supernatural ability to learn, which I still have a failure of understanding.” I gazed down in the floor after Pinkiana finished, seeing the faces of everypony in the afterlife deep in the subconscious and imaginative part of my mind. They are depending on me to make sure our existence and knowledge is known to the next life that lies somewhere in this galaxy.

For the next century, I was being taught of all the necessary knowledge that I needed to know. As soon as that was done, it was then that I was ready to be injected into a simulation of reality to use all the knowledge to embed it into my subconscious. Pinkiana’s eyes were glowing brilliant blue as the environment changed and random ponies were materializing. There were a few ponies that seemed to look familiar as they walked through the streets that were collapsing in place and phasing through the random ponies. I saw Pandora and Black-Veil flying through the skies and the castle forming in the distance. My heart raced and pounded in excitement. Pinkiana was creating Nevaeh back to its former glory but in a simulation.

“As I taught you the necessary things needed, I was processing the planet of Nevaeh through geographic books, other documents, and memory. Even the citizens were scanned and placed in this simulation I created.” Pinkiana explained as we teleported back to the castle. "Many algorithms, scripting, and other stuff to keep this simulation ongoing."

“Wait, are you saying…even…even…” I couldn’t finish my sentence as the doors of the castle opened and my body shook in excitement.

“Welcome back, Radiant Tear.”

***

“Excuse me Radiant, but this is important. Nurse Red-Heart is here to refill your prescription.” Pinkiana interrupted. He looked up from the book and placed a bookmark on the page where he was on. As Radiant Tear got upstairs to the entrance to meet Nurse Red-Heart, he could feel the medication slowly losing its effect and hurried along to pick up his medication. As he got to the pod entrance, he met the brightly-lit pony and forced a smile, trying not to alarm her.

“Hello Radiant Tear. Here’s the medication you need.” Red-Heart said as she gave him the package. He smiled and used his magic to take it.

“Thank you Red-Heart. I’m sorry you have to walk all this way to give me my pills.” He said putting on a smile. She smiled back and headed back. As she left, he rushed down the stairs and taken a misstep, falling and rolling down the stairs like a snowball. As he stopped and landed, he tried to get up but the pain surged through his nerves and he stayed where he lay. His emotions and mentality was slowly debilitating when Pinkiana came to him and helped him down a pill.

“Are you okay Radiant?” she asked worried about his condition.

“I’m fan-freakin’-tastic. I should just off myself right now and save you all the trouble.” The pills hadn’t taken their effect yet, but it was a much better response than five paragraphs of his depressive ramblings of why he should just end his life here and now. Pinkiana descended the marble steps with Radiant, helping him as he walks down the steps slowly and in pain. Everyone looked back and helped him to his room. As they let him down, Pinkiana insisted that he gets some rest, but Radiant wouldn’t have any of it. He tried to sit back to his chair, but was restrained by the two princesses.

“Radiant Tear, as your princesses we command that you cease this tomfoolery at once.” Both princesses commanded assertively and loudly. Radiant struggled a little and yelled a few obscenities until Pinkiana requested Twilight to put him to sleep with her magic. She complied and everyone watched as her horn lit a soft purple hue and floated in to Radiant’s nose, the spell going into his brain. As he started to calm down, he smiled a bit and snored happily. It hurt Luna seeing him this way. He didn’t seem himself anymore. What happened to Radiant Tear?

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Pinkiana apologized as she sat down on the chair, turning the pages of the book to the point where he stopped reading. “Now, the next part of this story was going to be kept from you as I examined his facial structures, tone of voice, and his sudden perspiration before he left to get his medicine. Let us continue on…”

***

As the year 899 came to a close and year 900 came, I was currently crowned king of the illusion of Nevaeh, living peacefully and making sure everything goes as it should. The minute I saw my parents, friends and love from the opened doors of the castle, I lost grip of reality and accepted this simulation as home. Pinkiana was nowhere to be found after my parents ‘died’ sometime after we were injected into this fake world. I felt as if I was able to cope correctly and later, I pushed aside the events of losing everything and everyone as a nightmare; thinking that it was a cruel prank that was played by a unicorn.

As I walked through the gardens of the castle roof alongside Roxy, Pinkiana slowly formed in front of us with a new look. It was just like how she is today, medium length hair, glowing blue eyes, and a bracelet around her legs that shone a certain color that matched to her emotions. I cheered and hugged her, and she hugged back, twice as excited to see me.

“Radiant! I’m sorry for not visiting. I’ve been so busy searching and searching but now I finally found it: a hospitable planet!” Pinkiana’s news surprised me and I smiled.

“Is that what you have been doing all this time? Looking through the cosmos and finding a new planet?” I asked her, curious as to what made her look for such a long time.

“Yes, and as I scanned the planet, you’ll never believe what the population consists of! But I won’t tell you. I’m going to leave it a surprise until we get there. I’m setting the ship to go on course to this planet.” She said as she jumped for joy. I was about to join her until she said the last two sentences. That sentence changed my perspective on this virtual reality slightly.

“Wait…” I said as I was processing those last two sentences. “Setting course? Pinkiana, how are we going to set course. Are you building a ship to that planet?” I asked her. She looked at me and gasped, her bracelet turning blue.

“Radiant, please tell me you didn’t lose grip of reality. Please, you were fine last time we saw each other!” she yelled, shaking me a bit. I could only look at her, confused to her behavior. “This place is a simulation only to put your knowledge to the test. I’m still surprised that Nevaeh is changed due to your scientific discoveries but this is only an illusion!”

“Pinkiana, stop it. You’re crazy, this isn’t an illusion.” I said, slowly tearing up a little. The memories started to flash in my mind. Pinkiana backed up and her eyes glowed white, the environment changing back to its normal setting; the giant library, the desk, TV and bed slowly forming around us. Roxy looked to me and held on for life.

“Radiant! What’s going on?!” her eyes frantically looked around as my reality started to break apart.

“Don’t let go!” hysteria ran through my mind, remembering all the horrible things that happened. Slowly, she started to dematerialize.

“I love you Radiant! No! Ahh!” she screamed as she disappeared from my grasp. I looked in place and slowly looked away, turning to my friend who snapped me from the illusion. Pinkiana felt regret for breaking me out of it; no doubt about it. Before I had the chance to say anything, shock took over me and I fell upon the ground, slowly slipping into unconsciousness. The last thing I head was Pinkiana’s desperate pleas for me to wake up.

After what felt like hours, days even, I woke up to a black sky, dotted with many stars. I looked around my surroundings and saw a terrifying yet beauteous scene. I was floating along small chunks of earth and many other giant pieces of dirt and stone was flying by me; the sun in the background shining brilliantly. Some of the debris was gigantic and held cities and villages. As I jumped and floated freely, using my wings to fly toward these cities, I saw many equine bodies, bloodied or peaceful, floating endlessly in the void. I looked around the forsaken area, trying to ignore the dead bodies floating around. As I floated further, there was a shadow of a medium sized debris in front of the sun, a bit away from the rest of the debris. I floated further closer and saw leaves floating around me. I drifted closer and landed, looking at the forest that rested on the piece of land. As I sensed dreadful similarity, I saw a small lake by the right side of the entrance. I slowly trotted toward it and gasped as I viewed Roxy’s body floating on top of the water; her dead eyes staring right back at me.

“No…no no no no no!” my terrified screams echoed into the void as I ran into the forest. Tears blinded my eyes, but it didn’t stop me. I ran in any direction that I thought would be safe. Fly-Heart’s dead body landed in front of me, his shocked face and eyes staring up at me. I continued running through the forest, despite the ground shaking violently. I heard a small shriek behind me as the last tree fell. I look behind to see Black-Veil’s dead body crushed by the tree; her eyes staring right at me. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I continued on, sobbing silently as Pandora’s pained screams rang out through the forest; as if it was directed toward me. The exit was in sight and I smiled in relief, hoping that this would let me escape this horrific dream. My mother’s screams were heard as I entered the perimeter of the launch area of the ship. I flew up into the air and saw my father, stabbed by the blade held by Mane-Mare. I felt so much animosity, so much anger that I dived toward her, in a fit of blinded confusion and anger.

As I neared closer to her, she looked up to me and smiled evilly before everything turned to black. The sun, land, everything faded away into existence. I plunged downward into nothingness; my wings flapping but no results. I felt the aura of malignity and saw faces of those who put me down. They lashed out their hatred on me and tears swelled in my eyes. All of the horrible things about me: my love for Roxy, my atrocious wings, I couldn’t take it anymore! My horn slowly boiled up deadly sparks before a wave of light from the tip of my horn washed over me.

My eyes soon adjusted to the light and I could see the dark red skies of Nevaeh, the morning moon making its orbit. I got up to see the University and the city in smolder and ruins over the cliff. Smoke floated out of the university, my home becoming the shell; an epitome of what it wasn't supposed to be. I could still hear the screaming and explosions far from the city. I looked behind and saw a treacherous mountain. I didn’t see that there when I lived in Nevaeh, but the explosions seem to be coming from up there. I shrugged and looked out at the city, sitting down by the Cliffside. As I overlooked the whole city, I didn’t hear a pony land and sat beside me.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” I jumped and turned to the side. The pony beside me looked vaguely familiar. In a split-second, I realized he had the inverse colors of me. I knew exactly who he was.

“No…you can’t be. You’re dead!” I stammered in my words. “Y-You…you can’t be…” fear took control of my body.

“They call me the Weaver of Destruction, Nightmare of Nevaeh, and beyond many other names! But yes…”the black furred pony licked his lips in delight. “I am Dread-Light.” He slurred his words playfully as his malicious smile sent shivers down my spine. I backed away as I started to see the resemblance between us; the same facial structure, mane, even our cloaks, though they were opposite colors. He was just like how my parents explained him to me.

“You can’t be him! We are not the same!”

“Of course we are the same!” he walked slowly to me, cocking his head. “We have the same elements of all ponies; our horns, our wings, and our constitution!” his muzzle touched mine, feeling his breath upon my lips as his wings threw off his blue cloak. I held my breath; fearing for the worst. But his eyes lowered into angry slits and he turned, his unkempt wings slapping across my face as his back turned towards me. “But that is what you lack: your fortitude. The way you accepted things despite feeling hatred for them is…so…so…pitiful.” He spat on the ground. He looked back at me and smiled. “But you can turn it all around! This world you’re about to come into contact with is ripe and ready for our rule. Your intelligence and my dark magic, should you choose to synergize our souls together, would show this universe the true power of the Alicorn!”

I looked up to him and asked, “What are you saying? I can’t work with someone like you; a pony so truly evil and sadistic. Why shou-“

“It’s because you are weak; just like your father!” Dread-Light stomped a hoof toward me and expelled a spell toward me. I moved out of the way and heard a small pop. I looked back at him and smiled. He grinned even wider as a vicious sound came from the pop behind me. I recognized the sound as the spell I shot out when I tried to kill the three ponies in an attempt to defend Roxy. “Remember those screaming souls? Where’s the cackle?” he laughed so ominously. It was him who took over my body and displayed such animalistic behavior!

“Why…why me?” it was the only question I could ask. He looked up in wonder and cackled.

“I have to keep the lineage alive, don’t I? That’s my role as…your true ruler! Now you could rule the land below with me or let me assume direct control!”

***

A.I. Pinkiana stopped reading and looked at Radiant Tear’s sleeping body, wide-eyed and shaking. Her bracelets turned yellow with a mix of blue. She slowly put the bookmark in the next chapter and closed the book. Everyone can sense her fear as they slowly realize what happened to him. Princess Luna saw a flash of Radiant Tear back in the Discord Event, smiling maniacally atop the mountains of Canterlot; his blue eyes taunting them as he rained hell upon the royal city.

“It wasn’t Radiant Tear that we thought we killed. It was Dread-Light.” Luna suddenly spoke. Everypony looked at her skeptically. “Think about it...his eyes were blue instead of his ruby eyes. He wasn’t even himself when we fought him; and when we defeated him, he didn’t change back or anything.”

“I suppose yer right. I don’t think after what we did, he wouldn’t come back from all that.” Applejack added.

“But what about his weird mood swings? H-He’s becoming a bit angrier than he was before.” Fluttershy interjected.

“The nurse diagnosed his condition as post-traumatic-stress disorder. And judging from the looks of things, I don’t think Dread-Light will ever come back, as Applejack says.” Twilight answered Fluttershy’s question. Pinkiana sighed contently.

“I don’t have any information about what happened before I finally came out of hibernation and calibration, but I’m glad to hear that it’s over.” Pinkiana smiled and looked over at the still bright light up at the night sky.

“Ooh! It’s night already? That was surely fast!” Pinkie Pie bounced around tiredly.

“Well, we’ll be on our way. We’ll come back tomorrow?” Rarity inquired. Pinkiana shook her head.

“This is going to have to be a weekly thing now. I’m doing this for Radiant Tear’s health. I’m sorry.” Pinkiana walked them to the exit, hearing their conversations. She felt something she hasn’t felt in a long time; relief that everything was going to be okay. A.I. Pinkiana was sure that after what she saw in Radiant’s new friends, the future may not look so bleak after all.