Discorded Humanity

by The Drifting Bard

First published January 30th, 2012 15:47

this is a prime example of why i should really get more sleep....

contains a human being Human... pop culture references...
and Dave misquoting Superman.

after all..... Nobody's perfect

Chapters

Chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Finale?
episode 2 begins
chapter 13
Chapter 14
chapter 15
chapter 16
chapter 17
chapter 18
CHAPTER 19
chapter 20
episode 3: when the wild wind blows
chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 28
chapter 29
Chapter 30
The end
Prologue
chapter 12
Finale: See you, Space cowboy
chapter 27

Chapter 1
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 1

Enter the human

The day had begun like every other.
Waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon, taking a shower, eating something and then looking for work… so in a sense, a boring repetitious life, decorated with bad jokes and idiotic siblings.
After having carried out this routine, I had given up for the day. My hopes of finding that perfect job smashed.
Giving a deep sigh and a break into my trail of thought, made another coffee. It was at this point the house got cold
Colder than usual. I grabbed a black hoodie with a broken zip, I was still cold.
Taking my long coat off the hook, I put it on and fastened the buttons.
It had begun to snow outside, Unusual for England in December. Putting the pilot goggles on my head, I peeked out the windows, giving off another sigh out of boredom.
After the last of the coffee had been drunk, I went to ‘drain the lizard’.
As I did this, on the other side of the door, an eerie light had begun to erupt out of a crack in the walls.
Unwittingly falling through the crack as I walked out the bathroom, I looked around to view my surroundings. I was in a freefall. I did what any other person would do. I panicked, but being known to improvise, I grabbed the lower corners of my coat in an attempt to slow myself down.

Landing in a tree, I had caught my arm on a branch and had broken it.
I had screamed for help in the hope that anyone would hear. To my dismay, I assumed the worst.
Using my good arm, I manoeuvred myself to a position where I could land on my feet.
After landing I took a few steps. But then I stopped, my eyes darting around looking for apparent danger. Hearing a cockatrice clucking away, I attempted to sneak past, but alas, a twig snapped under foot.
My first thoughts were “fuck”

I had to act quickly, so I went for the beast’s eyes… the beast had fled almost instantaneously, I collapsed on the ground, and stayed put for almost an hour, slowly recovering from the shock of coming face to face with a cockatrice.
I could feel my hair getting wet, but no rain was pouring that day. Running my fingers through my hair, my eyes widened at the sight of blood. I stood up, looking around for a place to go. I had spotted a small glimmer of hope in the form of a hut. I hoped to hell that I would make it.

I was too tired to run, but I did so anyway. Frantically knocking on the door, I had hoped there was someone who could help me. The door was opened, by what I assumed to be a hallucination. Too injured to formulate a sentence, I struggled to get out the only two words which could work.

“Help me”

The hallucination was stunned upon hearing my voice.
It quickly dragged me in by the hood, and laid me on the floor to take a good look at my injuries. After a few minutes of the hallucination poking and prodding me, I had come to realize that this was no hallucination. Gently placing my hand over the being’s appendage, I smiled “excuse me,” I said with a hoarse voice, “do you have some water, or some form of painkiller?” the being nodded, passing a glass of water to me.
I used my good arm to lift the glass, taking a few swigs, I noticed the strange being drawing closer with a lit candle, looking the being up and down for a few moments and I could make out the stripes of a zebra.
“This day just gets weirder and weirder, first a one-sided squabble with a cockatrice, and now a zebra giving me a medical, what next?” the Zebra chuckled at my remark.
“Strange days are ahead for you, you may even make new friends too” she spoke with an African accent, Zimbabwean maybe? It was hard to tell. “But first I must ask, your arm, fixing it, an easy task?” I looked at the zebra for a moment, a smile creeping across my face, I nodded happily “yes it is, I just need a plaster cast and a sling” the zebra looked worried a this answer “I gather I wont be going anywhere looking like this” I continued “not to worry though, I can wait” there was a knock at the door, a child’s voice was heard “Zecora, I got them herbs you asked for”
The zebra opened the door for the Child, who took one look at me, as I waved
“hi there little one” I cheerily smiled, my eyes scanning the little filly, noting the element of fear on her face.
“Relax little one, I’m a friend, strange as it seems” the little being walked up over to me, “and besides,” I used my good arm to pat her on the head “I need to know things, like who’s in charge and how I can get there without being seen, which by the looks of things is going to be impossible” I said with a glum look.

Looking out of the window, I could see a green flame bolt across the sky. “What was that?” I asked inquisitively
“That’s a message from princess celestia” the little yellow-furred red-maned filly answered with a southern twang. “Hmm sounds like a god of some sorts” I mused to myself as the filly looked at me with confusion
“y’all aint from around here are ya?”
I glanced down at her “what was your first clue, the opposable thumbs?” I wiggled the aforementioned appendages “or the lack of fur?” I finished sarcastically with a genuine smile.
She looked up at me in a huff.

The door was suddenly burst open. I shielded my eyes from the dust being kicked up, the scuffle of hooves, and then I was suddenly pinned against the wall of the hut, as if by magic, which strangely enough… it was.

The Six ponies standing there, of different status and 2 of each type, were glaring at me. The orange and blond one took one look at the young filly.
“Applebloom get yerself back home, now” the mare spoke with an equally southern twang to the young filly, now known to me as Applebloom. It was apparent that the six new ponies on the scene were afraid of me.
“I see,” the six looked up at me in shock “that’s what that green flame was… it was a warning” I looked down, seemingly upset by the ordeal. I winced in pain as the purple mare increased her magical grip on my arms. “It’s hurt, twilight” a shy voice chimed.
“That it is, my young fluttershy, tell me now why?” Zecora spoke with such honour, indicating the magic currently surrounding my limbs. “I received a message from princess celestia about a threat to all of Equestria wandering the everfree forest” I looked up as she mentioned the word human.
“I’m perceived as a threat?” they all look at me. “I can currently use one arm, I don’t know where in the universe I am, and you’re telling me I’m a threat?” the pain in my arm was more than enough to give me a much needed adrenaline rush without getting frustrated. “Look, just let me go, and I’ll leave” I said, looking them straight in the eye
“We can’t let you leave, princess’s orders” the cyan Pegasus spoke.
“Well, what do you suppose we do with the ghastly clothed thing?” the white furred mare asked before finishing with a “no offence”.
I spotted a pink blur darting around the room “I know, I know… lets have a party!”

I rolled my eyes. I noticed the purple pony was starting to run out of steam.
“You do realize I have no intention of hurting anyone, right?” I solemnly said to the six colourful ponies in front of me. I looked at the orange and blonde pony. “I see that your related to the young filly,” she nodded “she’s a good kid” I smiled. The magic that was surrounding me suddenly dissipated. I watched as the purple one collapsed.

“Where’s big Mac when you need him” I heard the orange one curse under her breath.
i had landed on the floor with an audible flump. They watched as I stood up, with a cheeky grin plastered on my face. “Tell ya what,” I chuckled, they gave me a look which could be described as evil “if I crouch down, you can prop her up and put her front hooves over my shoulders” they gawped at my proposal “I’ll be glad to carry her to wherever it is she’s needed to go” the white maned mare used her magic, lifting the purple pony onto my back, I grasped her forelegs in my good hand. “I’ll follow, you know where we are going” they watched as I got up from my current position.

I walked beside the yellow Pegasus and the orange pony. “You got a name?” the orange pony asked. “Yup” I grunted, having miscalculated the purple pony’s weight.

“The name's Dave” I said with a smile.
“well, im Applejack, the shy one on your left is Fluttershy and in front of you is Rarity and Pinkie pie” Applejack cheerily answered.
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance but… who’s the rainbow blur?” I asked
“I’m Rainbow dash, fastest flyer in Equestria,” the Cyan Pegasus boasted. “And the pony on your back? That’s Twilight Sparkle”

I took a glance out into the clearing, in the distance I could see a small town, but more importantly… a faint blip flying towards us.
For the first time since I got here in this crazy land of ponies and mythological creatures… I felt genuine fear.

A storm was coming.

Standing at the clearing, I watched the blip draw closer.
The 5 ponies watched as I crouched down to lift the sleeping Twilight off my back.
“Hey, wake up sleepy” I said, gently poking her. Watching her eyes drift open.
“Do you have a piece of parchment handy?” I asked. They all looked at me.
“Now is hardly the time to write a letter Dave” Dash chuckled, but then her face fell as she saw the seriousness in my eyes. Pinkie pie, known for her reality bending abilities pulls a piece out of no-where, “what do you need it for?” Fluttershy asked, as the blip now seen to be a chariot pulled by armoured pegasi landed. “You’re about to find out” I said with vindication, the glint in my eye had suggested I had an idea.

The 6ft tall Alicorn stepped off the chariot, glared at me for a moment, and then asked the question “Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student…why isn’t the Human dead?” I watched as Twilight looked down, despondent because she felt as though she had let the princess down. “You have no right,” I looked at the white alicorn dead straight in the eyes “absolutely no right to demand that of your student, however much of a threat you think I pose” the others could only watch as I defended my right to live. “I am not your enemy, but I am humbled that you came all this way” I kneeled before the Princess, who looked increasingly less hateful and more intrigued by me.
“May I say that, seeing as this is first impressions, you don’t seem to be very trusting… but I understand, if a human had appeared here before and attempted to taint your home... I’d be wary too” I smiled, but then got serious again. Standing up for myself against royalty was no easy task. “I have here a blank piece of parchment, and I wish to make an agreement, you want me dead, but I want to live, so how about this,” I spoke with conviction, the ponies could only watch as a game of verbal tennis was played between me and their princess.

I rolled out the parchment “I need your horn tip,” I watched as the white deity lowered her head “I shall cut my finger open and sign a blood contract, thus swearing an oath to both you and your sister… and all ponies of Equestria” I smiled.
“What will contract be about?” Twilight asked, worried that it might be a trick.
“Relax Ms Sparkle,” I flashed her a cheeky grin “I’m not Q, a sneaky manipulative omni-potent being, as for the contract?” my gaze met with the alicorn’s again.
“The contract will state, that Ponyville will be under my protection, and that I will aid the Bearers of harmony with what ever dangers they face, even if it means death”
The princess looked at me in awe “I never thought that humans had a sense of honour, if that is the case,” she looked at me, her eyes staring into me “you really mean it”
I nodded and saluted. I pricked my finger on the tip of her horn. I wrote my name in my own blood, thus sealing the contract. “Princess Celestia,” I looked her in the eye as she raised her head once more “thank you for providing me with this opportunity”
“I suggest you find yourself a place to stay,” she glared at me “I wouldn’t want ponyville’s newest defender to catch something”, she cackled.

As the chariot took off, I was lost in thought. Where could I stay…?
Twilight looked at me for a moment; I sense she wanted to learn about humans. “Why don’t you stay with me? I could use the help, plus I might learn a thing or two about humans and vice versa” I raised an eyebrow, and then nodded in agreement.

As we walked through the town, I got the feeling I was being watched, but there was no real change in the atmosphere, as long as the six ponies were with me, the ponies of ponyville knew I was no threat. I waved hello to some of them, and a turquoise lyre playing pony’s eyes widened then shouted “I KNEW IT!” as loud as she could.

We arrived at the library which was, safe to say, a mess. I looked around to see a dragon picking up the books, and shelving them. “Hey spike,” spike turned but soon hid “don’t worry spike, he’s here to help” Twilight said with a smile, coxing the small dragon out of his hiding place. “My name is Dave, little dude” I said with a smile.
The dragon looked me up and down, shrugged his shoulders and grunted “whatever, just don’t let me catch you eating my gems”
“dude, Humans don’t eat gems… we eats other stuff like vegetables…and um…well, I’ll stick with vegetables and other sources of protein which don’t come from an animal” six pony mouths dropped. It was safe to say that it was the only real reason they had to fear “don’t worry about it,” I said as I looked out of the window “as long as I can find some peanuts, I can become a vegetarian quite easily” they didn’t know what to say “and besides, it wasn’t exactly like I had a choice, most humans do eat a varied diet of meat and vegetables, however there are now vegans, who wont eat anything with a shadow” they laughed. The tension in the room had been broken,

It had been several hours since the others had left, the books all having been re-shelved “hey, Twi? What’s this book about?”
She took one look “it’s the book on legends of Equestria” she said as I opened the book. As I read the book, I noticed the image of a sole human fighting against the deities of the sun and moon. I then noticed the moon siding with the human and the sun killing the human. I frowned, so that’s what happened… a human comes to Equestria, causes a conflict between the two deities and is executed for it.

It made me stop to think. I continued my reading. Taking note of the different legends, but the one that caught my eye was the strange deity known as Discord. I was all too familiar with this being for a number of reasons.

“Twilight, you’ve defeated Discord haven’t you?” I asked, knowing full well the answer would be yes. I was right. “Is there a chance he could come back?”
“I don’t know, but I hope not” she answered. “Why?” she asked.
“You remember when I said that I wasn’t Q?”
“Yes” I looked at her; I could see she was worried.
“What if I told you that Q and Discord were one in the same, an agent of chaos…”
I continued my explanation. Her eyes widened as the explanation and the stories I told her about Q and how he affected the human race’s desire for knowledge. I dare not tell her about the other things on my world.

“…that’s why when I read this part I asked if he could escape his imprisonment”
She looked worried, “ah forget it, if he does escape again, I’ll put him down, it is my job after all” I smiled reassuring her. I put my hand on her head and ruffled her mane, hearing a little giggle. “Told you I was friendly” I grinned. I took off my long coat. The pain in my arm was still there. “Is the hospice open? I need a plaster cast on my arm” I chuckled at my own stupidity.

I put the hood up and the coat back on, zipping it up high enough to perch my hand in between the two halves.

chapter 2
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 2

introducing a freak

Seeing as I was wearing all black, it was pretty easy to hide in the shadows. Looking around I could see the hustle and bustle of the town, Ponies going about their joyful day to day lives. One couldn’t help but smile. “Twilight, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, anything, what is it?” she asked me, her face slowly contorting into a worried look.
“I want to introduce myself to the whole of ponyville… but I don’t want them scared” I grinned sheepishly, knowing she could possibly help.
“Tell you what, after we’ve been to see the nurse to get you patched up, we’ll go see the mayor” Twilight reassured me. Walking in, I simply perched down onto the seats while twilight convinced the nurse to give me a helping hoof. Having the arm x-rayed, I continued my little chat with Twilight, who exchanged looks of worry and confusion with the nurse pony.
The arm had been put into a cast. I thanked the nurse pony with a hug, leaving Twilight flabbergasted.
“I’ve never seen anyone react to getting fixed up like that before” she broke her silence. I looked down to the ground
“well, most days I’d look after myself, was always on my own ya see,” I sighed. Looking into the purple mare’s eyes,
“there’s still a lot I need to do, like get a weapon to protect the town” I continued.

It had been a few hours of waiting to see the mayor, but luckily with Twilight beside me, it wasn’t long before the situation was explained. “I see, so he is officially the protector of Ponyville,” the mayor scanned me up and down, noting my overt friendly exterior, “that’s very noble of you” she smiled, but then returned to the serious tone of the scene.
“I think I know the best way to get people to know you better” I looked at the mare, sitting behind the desk with a mischievous grin on her face. “A party? Seriously?” I blurted out in distress; I was never one for big gatherings.

Applejack burst though the door, shouting something about a cockatrice getting too near the edge of the forest.
“I’ll be back guys” I shouted as I jumped out of the window, heading towards the forest as fast as my legs could take me.

With each stride I took, I felt chills, the chills of impending death.
I saw three young fillies cowering behind a large boulder in hopes that their eyes won’t meet the stony gaze of certain death. I gritted my teeth as I jumped into the air, bringing my good fist down onto the cockatrice’s beak.
“Children, run” I shouted. The urge to fight had risen. I ripped a piece of fabric off my t-shirt, using it to cover the beast’s eyes. The beast flailed its legs around wildly catching me off guard, leaving three gashes on my chest.
I collapsed to the ground, feigning death. The cockatrice edged itself closer me. I grabbed its legs, and swung it into a tree. My broken arm flaring up, I decided it best to formulate the perfect death sentence. I jumped onto its back, and snapped its neck.
Finally getting back up on my feet, I walked into the mayor’s office, seeing the worry on the three mares faces. I smiled, blood running down from a cut on my cheek. “I won” I said weakly, not noticing the full extent of my wounds. I collapsed.

Waking up, I took a groggy look at the white room, stitches running across my body, bandages wrapped neatly and tightly around my leg. I could smell disinfectant in the air. The stench of it was almost enough to make me gag. That’s when I noticed the sleeping form of Twilight Sparkle. She looked peaceful, lying there with her head gently resting on an open book. The nurse walked in with a tray of food. I brought a finger to my lips, indicating that the purple unicorn was sleeping. The nurse smiled, and then quietly placed the tray on my lap. I took a good look at the book, but couldn’t recognize any of the characters used. It finally occurred to me that, even though they spoke perfect English, they didn’t have the same writing system. Earlier when I was asking about Discord, I had just assumed that the book itself was imported from another country. i took a look at the food, taking a whiff of the porridge that was currently steaming, picking up a spoon I took a mouthful. It was Just plain heavenly, although I never was that keen on porridge. I noticed the sleeping pony had stirred from her innocent slumber. I had only eaten half of the porridge, deciding to share the rest.
“Hey twilight,” I said with a smile “you look like your hungry, have the rest of this porridge.” I handed her the bowl, she gave me a now trademarked worried look.
“Dave, why? You need it more than me” she stated in a motherly tone.
I picked up the glass of orange juice, taking a sip. “You could have died!” she shouted, tears starting to roll down her cheek. I looked down, trying to come up with something to say, but then I realized “I swore an oath remember? That oath was to protect Ponyville and its inhabitants; I couldn’t just stand by while that beast was getting near to the town”
I looked into her eyes, her fur darkened by her tears. I picked up a tissue to dry her eyes. “and besides, I don’t plan on dying any time soon” I smiled. The nurse walked in to see Twilight munching happily on the porridge,
“its okay nurse…err…”
The nurse smiled. “Redheart” she gave me her name.
“Well, its okay Nurse Redheart, I ate half and gave the rest to her, it’s the least I could do” I continued with a grin.
“The poor dear’s been by your bedside for three days” Nurse Redheart informed me, I could only blink for a moment to let the information seep in.
“three days?” I asked with hints of worry. She simply nodded “it was a miracle you survived,” she said with a sheepish grin “you’re very lucky”
I chuckled, even if it hurt to high hell “the cockatrice wasn’t” as I said this, the nurse’s eyes widened, as did twilight’s.

Twilight started asking me lots of questions, like how I stopped the Cockatrice.
“Simple,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “the Cockatrice has the ability to turn living flesh into stone right? Well acting on this principle,” twilight looked at me, watching me open my eyes. “I used my now ruined t-shirt to blind the creature, I then…” I trailed off; Twilight could tell I was worried about telling her the events. “I snapped its neck, thus killing it” I could see her jaw drop. “I had to, other wise those three fillies would run into the damn thing again”
“Three fillies?” Twilight racked her brain, finally coming to a conclusion.
“Girls, you can come in now” she called out. Three young ponies walked through the door, one I had previously met, “Hello Applebloom,” I smiled, I could see her eyes were bloodshot. “Hey, chin up little one, I’m okay, it’ll take a lot more to take me down than a stupid cockatrice” I boasted, a feeble attempt to make them feel better.
“Just try to be more careful in future” I patted her on the head, the other two took a glance over my damaged body. The white furred, dual-tone maned pony spoke with elegance “I must apologize for getting you into this situation” I shook my head at this, “no need young-un, what’s your name?” I asked with a smile
“Sweetie Belle” she sniffed, I placed my hand on her head. “Trust me, I was,” I stopped mid sentence to search for the right word “I was simply doing my duty as the new defender of Ponyville”, the little orange one looked up at me for a moment. Then with a big grin she started to frantically speak “dude, that was so awesome, the way you fought that thing, and you were all like BAM, and wham and stuff was so cool”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. “What’s your name” I asked
“Its Scootaloo dude” the orange filly replied with a grin as wide as china. Suddenly they all chimed in together “and we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” I looked at the three kids, who each had an equally large grin on their face
“so what were you doing in the forest?”
“We were trying to find our Cutie marks,” Appleboom started. I glanced over to Twilight, mouthing the words ‘what the fuck is a Cutie mark?’ she giggled. “We were gathering ingredients for Zecora” Sweetie Belle continued,
“But then we ran into the Cockatrice, so we hid” Scootaloo finished. Had I not met Applebloom earlier I would have sworn they were attached at the hip.
“Well, hey, least I could prove myself to the Ponies of ponyville,” I said with a smile
“So, no harm done,” I grinned. “Nurse? Can I get this cast off? If you’ve got other patients then just bring the equipment here, and I’ll do it myself” I smiled. She brought the equipment, and simply just cut along a line. The cast fell off.

I rubbed my newly repaired arm, feeling the tingle in air, the electricity of the moment. I pulled Twilight into a hug. “Thanks for sticking around, Twi” I whispered in her ear. “Did you happen to find a book with strange lettering and two humans on the front by any chance?” I asked, she nodded “yep, brought it with me, seeing as your stuck here for a while” she handed me the book, the only book from my world.

Battle Royale. I opened the book, she could only watch as my eyes scanned the pages.
“Damn it, I’ll have to start again” I chuckled, she looked at me for a moment, I could see the cogs going round in her head, I watched her thought process. She finally spoke. “Could you read it to me?” she asked, like a child would ask for a story at bedtime. I couldn’t help but smile “alright, but first of all, let me explain a little bit about this book, it’s a commentary about how War can effect lives” I noted her eyes were glistening with intent. “So its about war” she looked down,
“read it anyway” she continued.

After four days, most of my wounds had been healed, and the two of us had read through to the 60th chapter of the book. I could see the tears in her eyes as I read the last sentence. “Haruka and Chisato cried out with joy while Satomi got up from her sofa, but next to her Yuko turned pale…. Shall we save the rest for back at the library?” I asked the purple mare beside me. She nodded.

As we walked back to the library, I noticed the looks I was getting from the other ponies, but not looks of fear. I was surprised by a few who even asked me what I was. Some even thanked me for stopping the cockatrice.

Opening the library door, you could feel the atmosphere change.
“SURPRISE” the bouncing pink party pony shouted with glee.
I looked around to see quite a lot of ponies inside the library, ponies of every shape and size. I felt myself being pulled into it by a blue blur. “Dash, lemme go!" I protested, but in the end, I gave up.

This was certainly going to be an interesting night.
I watched as the familiar blip in the sky drew closer to me.
As it landed, my stomach sank. I was expecting the Mega-bitch, Celestia.
But who I got was someone smaller, and kinder to boot.
“HELLO, THOU HAST DONE ME A GREAT HONOUR PINKIE PIE, FOR INVITING ME TO THINE PARTY” the small alicorn boomed out in what some ponies have dubbed the ‘Royal Canterlot voice’.

“Princess Luna, the Royal Canterlot voice isn’t needed here” I said quickly kneeling.
“I must apologize for my current state, fresh out of the hospital today” I continued with my explanation. She simply beckoned me to rise. “You must be the Human Celestia warned me about”. She spoke quietly, not wanting to raise my alarms. “it’s okay, I’m actually quite safe, unless you plan on attacking Ponyville” I said with a chuckle.

She looked at me for a moment, and then she realized I was the defender of the town “Celestia can be a bit fearful of new things, especially after…” the little alicorn trailed off.
“You don’t need to worry, I know what its like to lose oneself to darkness” I said, my eyes meeting hers.

“I can’t really be bothered to tell you my story, so how about we enjoy the party” I chuckled, breaking the spell of silence as she looked me over.

As I had said…
It was to be an interesting night.

chapter 3
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 3

go go power davey

The wind blew, making the leaves dance as if to the music coming from the library.
I stood on the balcony watching as ponies danced the night away. Luna was mingling with the guests, attempting to make friends. Twilight was pouring herself a drink, while pinkie pie bounced up and down. I gazed in wonder, questioning where the pink pony found the energy.

“Hey, sugarcube, how come yer not partying?” Applejack asked me, making me jump. I looked at her, with a content look on my face. “I never was one for big gatherings, I guess you could say that im a little bit nervous when at big parties like this” I answered with a chuckle, still in slight pain from the fight with a cockatrice.
“And besides, I only got out the hospital yesterday” by my calculations, a significant amount of time had passed since the party had begun, and the moon was hovering at 2am. I watched as Luna hopped into her chariot, she waved goodbye to her new friends. It was at that point the music stopped, everyone left for their respective homes. I took a deep breath, and plonked myself on the sofa. Looking over to see a sleeping Spike, I decided it best to scoop him up and put him to bed.
“Dave,” twilight said as she watched me tuck Spike in. “that was…”
“He’s a child, remember? It’s only right to treat him as such from time to time” I interrupted her, as I walked over to her.
“That was almost fatherly” she said,
“Maybe your right,” I agreed “but still, I’m only twenty, still young myself”
I watched as twilight’s jaw dropped, “seriously? Twenty? I thought you were younger than that” she stated, I deadpanned, racking my brain to find a logical answer.
“Humans age differently to Ponies I guess” I gleefully answered.
I then went on to explain how bland human life could be, I nodded happily “at least that’s what I think anyways” I chuckled, I could hide my intelligence really well, although I found some concepts from Equestria hard to swallow, specifically the little debate we had about the sun and moon being moved by the princess’ magical abilities.

In the end I gave up arguing with the words “if I can see it in person, then I’ll believe it” she smiled at this. But then she watched my face falter, as if trying to see my thoughts. “I need to get something, kind of similar to a…what was it called? A cutie mark?” she nodded, “do you think there’s a tattoo place around, or something similar?” she started opening books to find information on the subject. She looked up at me for a moment.
“Looks like we’re going back to Zecora’s again” she chuckled.
“Alright, but we go in the morning” I yawned. Lying down on the sofa, I heard twilight’s quiet voice as she bid me goodnight.

I couldn’t sleep, seeing as there was an unknown amount of things which could attack the town. I scanned over different books, familiarizing myself with the beasts, demons and dark deities of Equestrian mythology. I had to be ready for what ever came waltzing in.

I stepped out into the cold, and started to walk, the walk soon developed into a run, I ran the entire circumference of the town edge. My legs were burning.
I had noticed the stream of lights flickering around me. How they danced, how they shone. Before long, I had just assumed they were fireflies.

I arrived back at the library, where one particular firefly started to glow, upon closer inspection, the firefly turned out to be the symbol of magic.
“Twilight, wake up,” I said quietly in her ear, she opened her eyes. “Look at this”
I said, noting her disbelief as the elements of harmony were floating around me, soon the elements started fusing themselves onto my body. The element of magic resided on my forehead, much like a Buddha spot. The element of kindness made its home between my shoulder blades. The element of loyalty and the element of honesty rested themselves on my calves. The elements of laughter found its way onto my chest, settling itself above my heart. I suddenly felt a brief burst of pain.
While the rest settled themselves as tattoos on my body, the element of magic caused me great pain as the crystal somehow bore itself slightly into my skull. The pain lasted for a minute. I watched her face as it contorted into another look of worry. “Well it seems I’m going to be stuck here” I said as I picked myself up from the floor.

Twilight nuzzled me gently, trying to figure out what to do. “Twi, just send a message to Celestia about this, she needs to know,” I smiled, knowing full well the severity of the situation. “Looks like I wont need to see Zecora after all” I chuckled, while wiping fresh blood off my forehead.

I stayed awake for the rest of the night, I told twilight to send the letter I the morning.
I set off to find a clearing to see what I could do with these newly acquired elements.
As I began experimenting, for a while I could feel a sudden electric current rush through my body. I locked on to a nearby fallen branch and tried to lift it telekinetically. Nothing had happened. So, I decided to try something else. I jumped up.

Weirdly, I stayed put in the air “holy shit,” I muttered to myself. I glided around ponyville for a few moments. In the end I found myself perched atop the carousel boutique. I laid there on the roof, and watched the moon fall gently into the horizon.
The sun came up on another strange day in Ponyville.

I jumped down, walking to Sweet Apple Acres. I watched as the green flame of a message flew across the sky towards Canterlot.
I took a deep sigh, knocked on the door to the boutique. The door was answered by Sweetie Belle “good morning Dave” she greeted me with a tired smile, “the shop isn’t open for another three hours, but im sure my sister won’t mind if I let you in”

I took a few steps, and noticed the state the room was in, different fabrics laid out, the mannequins covered in dress prototypes and pins. I noticed a strip of fabric long enough to tie around my head as a bandana, covering the element of magic on my forehead. “So how are you today? Sweetie” I asked, she smiled, happily munching on her breakfast.
“Well today’s a school day, so I’ll probably be bored, plus… nah I don’t think you’d be able to help”
I shook my head. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, little did I know a certain purple maned fashionista was eavesdropping.
“Its Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, they keep bullying me, Applebloom and Scootaloo”
I placed hand on her shoulder for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Rarity, you can come out now,” I said with a smirk “you may as well hear about it too” I smiled a slightly depressed smile,
“also, Rarity, I think you need to gather the other elements later at the library” she was about to ask about the bandana “anyways… yeah, I know what its like being bullied,” Sweetie belle looked up at me “I know what its like, walking into a classroom, getting called hurtful names, people pushed me around because I was too… um… sensitive, I suppose that’s the right word for it,” I continued, taking a breath. I took a glance at rarity, she looked sympathetic towards me,
“but then something happened, I was surrounded by twenty students of different grades, all kicking me when I was down, little did I know it, but I was stronger than them, sure twenty against one was bad odds, but I stood my ground, after that day, nobody would attempt to hurt me, because I continued to smile”
I saw the tears hit the floor, “don’t cry, in fact don’t let those stuck up snobs get to you, because your better than them” I smiled, patting the small filly on the head. “Dry your eyes rarity, I require some new clothes, preferably long sleeved t-shirts, boxer shorts and black trousers” I lifted my arms and everything, so she could take measurements. “I never knew your life was like that, Dave” she said, her voice trembling slightly with hints of sadness,
“hey, Rarity, if you want, I can walk Sweetie Belle and her friends to school” I noted her radiant smile had reappeared.
“If its not too much trouble, I need to tidy” I chuckled at her for a moment.
“It was all true,” I said darkly “life on my world is rife with sadness, but we find happiness in doing things we love,” I spoke peacefully. She had finished her measurements, she then handed me another piece of fabric
“in case you lose the other one” she smiled, I noticed the musical notes on it.
“Thanks rarity” I pulled her into a hug, but the hug was interrupted by a young filly clearing her throat “can we go now?” Sweetie belle asked glumly, I could tell she wasn’t pleased to go to school. “Hey Sweetie, remember, don’t let them get to ya, now lets go find your friends” I smiled.

As we walked out we could see a certain orange filly zoom past on her scooter. “Hey sweetie belle, hi Dave, how’s it going?” Scootaloo asked cheerfully. “Not too bad, just had a weird night, you?” I answered, and noticed Scootaloo looking down to the ground “it’s Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon isn’t it, don’t worry, Sweetie Belle told me” I stated calmly. Scootaloo nodded. “Come on, lets get you to school, no doubt we’ll bump into Applebloom along the way” I grinned, telling them the story of how I discovered Metal music. The fillies giggled, as we walked up to Sweet Apple Acres.
I watched as Applebloom came bounding down the path. I chuckled to myself at the thought of Applebloom joined your party.

As we arrived at the school, I could see little ponies looking up at me, and then they started firing questions at me, inane questions, and insane questions. “I wasn’t expecting the Spanish inquisition” I grumpily said, I spotted an older pony shouting “come along children, time to start your lessons” as I watched the students file into the classrooms, the teacher walked up to me “hello, sorry about the students,” she smiled “you must be Dave, am I right? My name is Cherrylee”
“Pleased to meet you, Mon Cherri” I finished with a mock French accent.
She giggled “good with kids and courteous too” she said, looking deep into my eyes.
“I shouldn’t really keep Twilight waiting you know, but could you keep an eye on Diamond Tiara and her cohort Silver Spoon for me? I have a feeling they’ve been bullying the cutie mark three” I asked with a smile.
“Of course, I must be off, I have a lesson to teach” she waved to me as she left.

I walked back to the library, head held high with pride. As I opened the door, I could see the six elements of harmony all looking at me, with a hint of worry written across their faces. “Right then, lets get this over with” I proceeded to tell them about last night, with a few gasps, and random questions from Pinkie, I removed the bandana. Twilight, who had dismiised the events of last night as a dream, shot me a look. “That better not be real” she exclaimed.
“Unfortunately it is, so im keeping it hidden from the other ponies, I have each of the elements now engraved on my body, apart from magic, which I believe could be a focus point,” I explained “hurt like a bitch when it happened” I grinned.

After having a cup of tea, we waited for the princess of the sun to arrive.
Before long Fluttershy had given me a look, not of worry, but of distain. “Did you really have to kill that Cockatrice?” she asked.
“I didn’t really have any other choice” I stated, looking down.
“I agree” the voice of the sun goddess boomed behind me
“But I’m surprised to see the elements react this way” Celestia continued, it was almost as if she had heard the whole explanation earlier.
“Does this mean I’m stuck here?” I asked, not knowing the full extent of the situation.
She nodded. “Unfortunately yes, however, after receiving several reports on how you went out of your way to help the ponies of ponyville, I hardly see it as a bad thing”
She spoke, not with spite, but new-found respect.
“I see, so twilight has been reporting to you about me then” I smiled.

I glanced at the purple pony, she looked nervous. “Anyway, I shall look into this matter, but for now, I want you to settle down here”
“Its okay your highness” I gave her a small smile.
“Farewell, Dave of Ponyville” she stepped into her chariot, and took off.

“Is she always this confusing?” I asked no-pony in particular

chapter 4
View Online

Discorded Humanity

chapter 4

so much for picard

After taking in the morning air, I decided to take another walk, greeting different
ponies on my travels. But I soon stopped dead in my tracks, as if in a trance.
I heard a voice, a voice I recognized and feared. For a moment I just assumed it was
my brain playing tricks on me. But then It clicked “hello, human” the voice said with
a chuckle “I see your finally in tuned to this world” the voice continued.

“John De Lancie?” I asked, “What the hell?”
“Who’s John De Lancie?” the voice asked,
“Q?” I waited for a response.
“Really now, human, I thought you were better educated than this” the voice spat out in sarcasm.

“Oh no, not you…” I finally succumbed to a fear which had been nibbling at the
corner of my mind for quite a while “Discord” the voice chuckled with glee upon
hearing its name. “Discord, at you service sir” the voice mocked.
“Get out of my head,” I ordered “or I’ll seal you in there myself” I continued, but the
voice knew it was an empty threat. “Fair enough, I was going to promise you a place
at my side after I take over” the voice seemingly faded.
“If you even think of trying again, I’ll make sure you wish for death”
I replied to an offering. Snapping out of it, I continued to walk, suddenly hearing Rarity call me.
“Heya, rarity” I said with a nervous smile, but the smile was soon switched to a goofy grin “wow, are these my new-”
“Yes, a little gift, for our new guardian” she smiled sweetly as a small blush crept
across my face. “I don’t know what to say my dear, except thank you” I grinned as I pulled her into a hug.
“That’s, quite alright dear, just let me put them in a bag for you to carry”
I watched as she did this. Picking the bag up by the handle, I gave her another quick hug as a thank you again.

Stepping out into the sunlight, I couldn’t help but smile, today is still a good day I thought to myself.
I decided to go back to the library; I required more information on discord, seemingly a master of puppets.

I took a glance outside for a moment; the stick I had attempted to levitate earlier was still in the same place. “Twilight, I need your help with something,” she looked at me, puzzled. “Could you teach me some magic? I may need it” I watched her face light up with excitement; She suddenly threw a load of books at me, while listing them off.
“Twilight, you do realize I can’t read equestrian” I deadpanned.
“Oh yeah” she sheepishly uttered, while rubbing the back of her head in thought.
“Hands, er, hooves on approach?” she stated rhetorically, noting my nodding.

“Now try again” she said, with a stressful tone. We had been out there for almost 4 hours now, and I still hadn’t managed to lift the branch. “I just can’t do it,” I glumly stated “I really don’t think it’s within my abilities, sure, I can fly but…” I stopped for a moment. And took off spontaneously, floating above Twilight.
“well, I can fly, lets see what other crazy stuff I can do”, I concentrated for a moment, A brilliant beam of light shot from my hands, akin to a Ki blast from some obscure random anime.

It was enough to leave a scorch mark on the ground and set the branch ablaze. “Whoops” I chuckled, stamping on the burning branch. “Looks like levitation is out, and incineration is in!” I chuckled, Twilight just rolled her eyes.

A sudden feeling of déjà vu crept upon me like a bad itch. The voice returned, sounding even smarmier than before.
“Are you sure you won’t accept my offer?” Discord cackled, but I was in luck,
“dude, you’re still encased in stone, what makes you think” the Draconequuis interrupted me.
“That’s just it, Human, the fact that you are here has tipped things in my favour” the disembodied voice retorted.
“So, what? You’re gonna free yourself now?” I said to him in a low growl, dripping with sarcasm.

I left a hoof being brought across my face “Snap out of it!” the feminine voice shouted.
“Twilight, thank fuck!” I shouted, I spotted the worry on her face. I took a quick glance around. “Why am I on the floor?” I rubbed my cheek “also thank you for snapping me out” I nodded, getting up. I mentioned Discord, and Twilight had started to freak out.

I needed to find a book. As I rummaged through the piles in the library, I heard the ramblings of a very worried twilight. “So if what you’ve said is true, then why hasn’t he tried anything?”
“Just send the message for pete’s sakes!” I didn’t mean to shout, but time was of the essence. “This is my entire fault,” I looked down, “but I suppose there’s no way around it now” I felt a hoof plonk down on my shoulder. “You forget you’ve got the elements of harmony on your side” she smiled. As I pulled her into a hug, I heard a loud belch. “Spike!” we both shouted, “jeez talk about ruining a Kodiak moment” I grumbled, meeting the gaze of a very confused twilight. “It’s a human thing, you wouldn’t understand” I chuckled once again, but considering the look on Spike’s face, I got serious. “What’s the message?” I asked, as Spike unravelled the letter.
“I think in Human terms, it would simply be OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!” spike exclaimed. “Just read it out loud Spike” I face-palmed.

Dear Dave

From what you have just told me, in all fairness I should really had killed you in the first place, but alas, it is too late to go back on our arrangement.
As for the recent, shall we say, turn of events… I am at a loss of what to do.

If Discord does return, the elements of harmony will have to seal him in stone once again.

If all else fails, eliminate Discord.
If discord is either sealed in stone or eliminated, then you will be freed of our agreement and can freely live out your days as a resident of Ponyville.

Good luck
.
Princess Celestia

“Well, at least she respects the agreement” I sighed. Twilight sat there, stunned.
“e-eliminate?” she looked at me, stuttering, shivering.
“Twilight, I know what I’ve got to do in order to keep Ponyville…no…Equestria safe” I placed my hands on her shoulders. “If anyone dies, it will be Discord,” I looked a little bit puzzled for a moment
“couldn’t she just banish him to the moon or something?” Twilight shook her head, still shaken by the thought of killing in general.
“I am definitely going to regret not doing this sooner” what I did next was probably the most stupid, insane idiotic things I have ever done. But it stopped her shaking. “Wha, wha? Did you just?”
I nodded, with a small blush creeping across my face, betraying my stoic expression.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because you needed to calm down, you were getting worked over killing somebody that you forgot one thing,” she looked up at me for a moment. “I’m the one doing the killing,” I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath “I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding my emotions and feelings over the years, becoming cold and stoic whenever I needed to, sort of like a defence mechanism,” I pulled her close to me, “it just feels so wrong, ya know?” I continued.

“What do you mean?” she asked, expecting a reasonable, logical answer.
“I suppose I should tell you now” I had begun to explain why I am who I am.
I watched as her facial expressions went through the motions. “It was at that point in my life that I swore I wouldn’t let anybody else in, but as you can see my plan didn’t exactly work” I laughed half heartedly.
“Well in any case, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, you’re the only human here, it’s not your fault if you fell in love with a pony,” she stated,
“but why me? I’m not exactly the best pony; I wouldn’t know what to do”
“I could list the reasons if you want, but to be quite honest… I can’t really explain it,” I took a deep breath. “Its, so wrong… yet so right”
I pulled her closer, noticing a blush turning her face a crimson red.
“But, I highly doubt we should do anything,” I sighed “considering what events might occur which could change the situation” she could tell I was worried.
“I don’t care,” she smiled, as I was about to say something, I was instantly silenced by her returning my kiss, a simple act of unrequited love giving birth to real love.

Spike had re-entered the room “what the?” he sighed, “never mind, im going to see Rarity” as he walked out, you could hear a little smile crawl across the little dragon’s face. He was probably wondering how I did it, the little dragon had, from what he told me, tried everything to steal Rarity’s heart. I couldn’t help feel sorry for the poor guy.

Twilight and I had been sitting on the sofa in a warm embrace, her head resting on my chest, my head resting on hers. For the first time since I got here, I was genuinely happy. “Twilight, do you think I should help Spike with his ‘rare’ problem?”
She looked at me and gasped for a moment “by rare you mean” I nodded “then yes, I suppose you could” she smiled. She then kissed me on the cheek. She watched the blush and the big grin re-appear.
She suddenly shivered for a moment “you cold?” I asked. She simply nodded. I concentrated a small fraction of the energy I used earlier to start the fireplace.

She levitated the book titled Battle Royal to me. “Lets pick up from where we left off shall we?” I smiled. Eerily it was akin to reading a story to a child in some ways, I would read to her, and she’d ask me questions about what certain objects mentioned in the novel were. “The Okashima island lighthouse was old but durable. It faced north, its tower seventeen meters high…” I continued reading, noticing her smile was as wide as mine. “What’s volleyball?” she asked inquisitively.
“I think it’s game involving a ball, 2 teams and 2 goals either side of the field, im not quite sure, always sucked at sports,” I chuckled, “shall I carry on?”
I noticed she was beginning to yawn.

“Yes please” she smiled. So I continued the story.
As we reached chapter 63, I noticed she had fallen asleep on me.
I wasn’t complaining, Why would I?

Celestia would be so pissed off if she found out about this.
I don’t care, as long as Twilight’s happy, that’s good enough for me.

I had finally found my small measure of peace.
I fell asleep shortly after.

chapter 5
View Online

Discorded Humanity

chapter 5

i am overburdened

Awaking on another seemingly perfect day in Ponyville, I felt I slight pain in my neck. Thinking back to last night, Twilight had woken me up to talk about her issues some touchy subjects that I knew she would worry about, she must have gone to bed shortly after.
I checked my surroundings, the mare had disappeared, In fact, so had Spike.
The library was empty. I heard the commotion outside. Quickly grabbing my long coat from the hanger, I threw it on. Running into the middle of the town square, I could here the silent screams of ponies hiding from something. What started as a low rumble became a loud growl.
Finally a loud roar was heard in the vicinity of the everfree forest. I took flight, knowing I had to do something, but my power had its limits. After a short flight, I had arrived at the scene of terror. I watched as 6 ponies attempt to hold off a bizarre creature known as a hodag, part frog, part mammoth, and part lizard…all terrifying. I landed next to Twilight, looking her over for any injuries.
“whats the situation guys” I asked.
“well, sugarcube, this beastie here had gotten all angry bout sumthin and we aint quite sure what it is” Appljack replied.

“well then, looks like we need to calm it down” I nodded to fluttershy, “Twilight, Rarity, you hold the Creature in place” I issued an order, upon hearing them both acknoledge the idea, I continued “rainbow and applejack, yo two make sure it doesn’t struggle that much, but don’t attack, and fluttershy?” I looked at her “please, calm down the poor thing” I smiled.

After a few minutes, the beast had ben soothed. “there there, your just a big baby awent you” Fluttershy cooed, the hodag, now sprawled on its back, looking as though it was happy. “well, at least I didn’t have to kill the poor thing” I sighed, sitting down amongst the green grass.
“what could make that thing go crazy?” Rainbow asked.
“hmmm, good question” I trailed off, Discords voice ringing in my head about something
“three days Human, that’s all it will take” the bastard said with a chuckle.
i gritted my teeth. “oh, what’s wrong, Dave?” Fluttershy asked.
“just a headache” I had to lie, even though Applejack could tell.

Twilight looked at the others for a moment, asking herself if she should share with them that I hear the voice of Discord in my head. I looked at her, worried that if she does blurt out my little secret, the others wont trust me. “well, I better be off,” twilight smiled nervously “those freindship reports don’t write themselves you know” the others started to chuckle, “I better go too, need to gather some materials”
Rarity raise an eyebrow at me “what kind of materials?” she asked. I could only mix my words with a non-sequential nervous squeak, which is something I don’t normally do. “well, I need some strong steel for some light armor” I sighed, watching the white furred mare break into fits of giggles.

At least I’m off the hook I thought to myself.
I decided to walk back, taking in the sights of the everfree forest, which was clear of damnger for a while. Twilight had galloped up to walk beside me, looking at me with a hint of worry “I’ll tell them when I’m ready ok Twi?” I said with a small smile across my face, “tell them about dis-” I put a finger on her lips, and shook my head “oh you mean..” she trailed off, I could see her thought process working away, she was still getting used to the idea of being with a human, but in all fairness, I was in the same state. I couldn’t help but chuckle, seeing the look on her face as she tried to think of a way to dodge the question when it arises.

After what seemed like a long silence, I moved a few stray strands of hair out of my face. “what say you to some pancakes back at the library?” I asked Twilight, who suddenly blushed a deep crimson red
“I thought we agreed to we werent ready for that” she flustered. I looked at her for a moment, and finally caught on to what she was thinking. “love, pancakes isnt a euphemism for…ya know, the horizontal tango,” I felt my cheeks heat as a rush of color crept across once more, shaking my head.
“oh,” if she blushed anymore, it’d be permanent. “well then, pancakes it is” she said with a giggle. “you ever flown AIR DAVE?” I chuckled, scooping her up into my arms. She feebly protested with fits of giggles. I jumped into the air and began to float harmlessly 3 feet off the floor, then I rose to new hights.

After reaching a good height to see the world, i looked down to Twilight, she had kept her eyes shut. “hey, open your eyes love, look at the world” I watched as she slowly opened her eyes. She was gazing in wide wonder seeing things the way that both me and the pegusi see the world. “i-its beautiful” she said with a whisper, I could see a tear forming in her eye.
“heh I know,” she looked up and met my gaze, “but I wasn’t talking about the view”
I watched as she blushed again. Then she close her eyes, knowing I was heading back down. As we landed on the library balcony, our lips met once again, for longer.

But Discord was still in my head, and he started to speak once more as the kiss broke
“oh how sweet,” he sounded different, a bit more…

twisted.

“the Human has got himself a little fillyfriend” I mentally shouted at the creep. Twilight looked at me for a moment, within three fifths of a second, pinkie pie burst through the door, Shouting something about “a real doozy”. She pretty much caught us then and there, locked in one of our moments. Letting out a deep sigh, I looked at the mass of pink energy, “Pinkie, can you keep a secret?” the pink puffball nodded excitedly “me and Twilight are…well...” shareing a loving glance with the mare in question “together”
I watched as Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened, the grin on her face grew bigger. “okay,”
I blew out a breath I wasn’t holding “cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” the pink mare swore. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her antics.
“thanks Pinkie, means a lot,” I said with a smile
“we’ll tell the others when it feels right” Twilight placed her two cents in.

Discord was seemingly pacing up and down in the deepest parts of my mind, he could see the memories of past events, chuckling at my attempt to kill a Cockatrice, gaffawing at my dealings with Celestia and cracking up at my failed telekenisis attempts. However, he was tainted by something. Something dark. It was when he saw the events of a war, it was as though he was searching the internet for all my memories of war, he could see the news articles I had read. Nothing more. The draconequuis had been tainted by so many things. Being a jumbled mess of mammal body parts, it was easy for him to fuse with the rememnants of my nightmares.
He cackled as the nightmares had begun to envelop him in total shadow.

I could feel a shiver crawl up my spine. “now how about those pancakes” I said, shaking off the fear. Watching as Twilight’s face lit up with both a blush from earlier, and happiness. Having slid down the handrail on the stairs, I crashed into a pile of books, hearing a very grumpy dragon complaining. “damn it Dave, I’ve only just started piling them neatly” I patted Spike on the head as he complained
“no worries dude, I’ll help…after Pancakes” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen.
With a flourish, I had made sure every measurement was correct, but theres no way in hell that your getting my recipe!

I stopped for a moment, taking the time to breathe.
The smell of the ingrediants invading my nostrils. I stared work on the pancakes.
A smile plastered on my face. “dude, what are you doing?” the little dragon asked.
“makin pancakes” I said with a little song in my voice.
“dude, you’re happy today” he noted the smile. I looked the dragon up and down for a moment. “eh, you know how it is, you stay with somepony for so long and the next thing you know…i said too much” I laughed, “anyways, after we’ve put the books away, I’ll help you with your Rare jewel” I said with a wink. I watched as his brain kicked into gear, his face contorted in his attempt to figure out what I meant.
“I believe her name is Rarity” I smiled once again, slyly.

After plating up the freshly made pancakes, I pulled a lemon out of my pocket, grabbed a knife and effortlessly cut it in half. Spike and Twilight watched as I squeezed a few drops onto one of my pancakes. “forks, yay!” I said to myself quietly
I grabbed the fork, and started cutting up a pancake. “I’ve never seen anyone eat like that before” Twilight giggled, watching as I ate. “yeah, its kind of a social norm back on earth, other than being fully clothed of course” I said in between mouthfuls.

After the pancakes had been consumed and the books had been re-shelved, I sat on the sofa. I motioned to Spike to sit with me. which he did.
So, tell me what you like about her” I asked the small dragon. As he ran off a list in his head, I came to a conclusion “well, my suggestion is to just be yourself, ask her out on a date, after all whats the worst that could happen” I said with a thoughtful smile. I felt a pair of forelegs wrap around my shoulders, and a certain pony’s head resting near my neck.
“heh, hello lover” I said with a coy smile, watching as Spike’s jaw dropped,
“how else did I land here with this beautiful mare hmm?” I answered the dragon’s nonexistant question. He finally got the idea. “alright if you think it will work” he said with a depressive tone, expecting the worst.
“dude, if it doesn’t work, i’ll give myself a black eye” I said with a chuckle, however not the best choice of self-punishment. As he walked out, I looked over to Twilight, who still had that gentle smile and blush permentently on her face. Losing myself in the sea of magneta contained in her eyes. I leaned in to kiss her once more, but fell off the sofa, we were now in a heap on the floor, laughing, but still losing ourselves in that gracious, treacherous sea known as love.

It was nice for a while, until that annoying voice known as Discord started complaining about the smooching. However, his voice was quieter, but still distorted.
Infact it was now more akin to the buzzing of a bee. “two more days and I’m home” Discord said, sounding more sinister than before.

With in the stone prison, his body had been transforming, the magic which had bound him had also sealed a small part of nightmare moon’s power. Small fissures and tiny cracks had started to form on the statuesque tomb.
Discord was no longer Discord.

Happiness has always been a fleeting thing, forever escaping my grasp.
Now that I had it, I didn’t want to let go.
Spike showed up with a small smile on his face, but tears in his eyes.
“I suppose I better give myself the black eye” just as I raised my fist, the small dragon stopped me.
“it’s okay Dave, She said yes” the small dragon had a small smile on his face, hiding his joy, still flumoxed that Rarity had said yes. “Spike, what ever you do, don’t rush it” I said with a stern look “that’s the last thing you wanna do dude” I nodded.
as the little dragon went upstairs to pool his ideas for his date, I was smiling a genuine smile.
“that was sweet of you, monkey” Twilight whispered in my ear, making my heart skip a beat. “monkey?” I raised my eyebrows with a smile.
“you’re my monkey” She giggled.
I chuckled as I kissed her cheek. “then what shall I call you, my turtle dove” again speaking with a mock french accent, hearing her laughter was more than enough. “Love,” I smiled, “Love works perfectly”.

So, being a hopeless romantic does have its perks after all.

chapter 6
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 6

I'M THE MUFFIN MAN BITCH!

After what seemed like an eternity of sleep, I awoke to the smell of food being prepared. Groggily opening my eyes, I was met by a haze of purple.
Blinking to remove any telltale signs of sleep, I kissed the purple mare on the forehead before slipping away. Gently walking downstairs, I heard the grumpy ramblings of a small dragon. “morning Spike” I said with a sleepy smile. The dragon turned slowly, expected to see my naked form, “dude, I have clothes on ya know” I chuckled.
“today the day?” I asked, observing the grin on spike’s face.
The little dragon simply nodded. I smelled the scent of freshly made coffee being poured into a mug.
“ah, coffee, one of lifes most simplest of pleasures” I beamed, taking a hearty swig of the black liquid, after swallowing, I blew out steam.
“ya know, I’ll never understand your slight obbsession with coffee” the Dragon stated cheekily. “heh, doubt you ever will,” I chuckled “before I came here,” I started to get a bit solemn, “I didn’t sleep much, got a caffiene addiction, and before you ask, yes its possible” I noted the serious expression on Spike’s face. “nearly died, so I switched to tea… but nothing beats a morning coffee” I chuckled. Spike looked at me with confusion
“you mean, the Caffiene was killing you?” I shooked my head.
“no, I was killing me without realising” I said.
“anyways, shouldn’t you be getting ready for something?” I joked, watching as the little dragon started to freak out.
“calm down dude” I said between bouts of laughter.
The actions of our tomfoolery awoke Twilight. “hey there sleeping beauty” I said with a smile, Spike ran back into the kitchen to finish breakfast. “Spike, go and get ready, I’ll make breakfast”

Quickly making myself useful, I had seen that he was attempting to recreate my waffles. He had gotten the ingrediants and everything else right, but not the presentation, I simply shrugged my shoulders and plated them up, humming a little song to myself while I worked. After hearing the thunderous pitter-patter of dragon feet across the floor, and a chair being pulled back, I walked out of the kitchen, plates in hand. Laying them out on the table, I noticed the tie around Spike’s neck.
“interesting choice Spike,” I said, indicating the tie, “but wouldn’t a red tie be a bit better?” I said between mouthfuls. Twilight looked at me for a moment, not knowning what I meant. “red will bring out the green in your eyes, dude” I grinned.
I stood up, walked over to my longcoat and rumaged through the pockets, pulling out a red tie. “here, catch” I threw the tie to the dragon, where it unintentionally landed on his face. I heard Twilight stifle a giggle. After the waffles had been consumed, I helped Spike with the tie, I dropped down to meet him face to face “now then Spike, remember, don’t Rush it, take your time with her, trust me” I fistbumped the little dragon “now, got get her, tiger” I smiled, and with that he was off.

i decided to talk a walk, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I watched as Ponies, as always, went about their day to day lives in happiness.
A happiness you’d never see back on earth. I spotted a turquise Unicorn waving to me, I waved back with a smile and walked over. “hello Dave” the unicorn said with a smile, “I’m Lyra,” she held out a hoof, in the hopes of a hoofshake, so I indugled her curisoity. Taking the hoof in my hand, her eyes widened. “Wow, I’ve never seen a human hand up close before,” she had lowered her h ead to inspect my hand “then again, I’ve never met a human before” she chuckled.
“whats it like?” she asked
“being human?” I replied, shrugging my shoulders “eh, its not all its cracked up to be… I mean sure I’ve got opposable thumbs and long monkey arms… but, sometimes im fatigued if I do something for so long” I frowned. “and considering how my…um…personal situation has changed… im limited in what me and my partner can actually do, if this was earth, the said act wich I wouldn’t mind doing…” I trailed off, blushing furiosly at the thought “would be highly frowned upon” I spoke wit a nervous tone. “uh I don’t even know why I told you that,” I chuckled sheepishly, “is that enough info for you? Cause seeing as you asked me, I’ll ask you, whats it like being a pony?”

she mirrored my shrug “I really don’t have a clue, to be perfectly honest,” she trailed off, not knowing what to say “its kinda like you being a human, you cant really explain who or what you are” she nodded, “hmm, something to think about” I said to myself. “im off to Sugarcube corner, the hunt for food has begun” I said majestically, causing the turquise mare to laugh. As I walked off, i could have sworn i saw a grey pegasus fly into a tree. “are you okay, miss?” I asked the grey mare in question. She just shrugged it off “I’m fine, built up a bit if an immunity to head truama” the mare giggled “you going into Sugarcube Corner?” I nodded in reply.
“oh goody maybe we can have a cha..” she focused her eyes onto me, I could see she was concentrating “oh my, you’re the thing the Doctor warned me about…no wait that was that other thing, nevermind” her eyes quickly changed back to their usual appearance. As we entered the bakery, my nostrils were invaded by the smell of baked goods, confectionary and the most glorious foodstuff of all. “hello Ditzy doo, the usual?” the proprietor of the shop asked.
“oh yes please, mrs cake, oh I was wondering, do you have any of those banana-nut muffins? My little dinky’s passed one of those unicorn magicy…examy thingies, and I wanted to get her something special”
I watched as the two mares converesed, a smile crept across my face, “Um, miss, could I place my order please? I said with a smile.

The mare behind the counter looked at me for a moment, then smiled. “of course you can dave, what would you like?”
I thought for a moment, “I’ll just take 8 muffins, and 8 cupcakes please, how much will it be?”
“24 bits, but you are Ponyvilles new Defender, so what the hay, its on the house”
my eyes widened “this is the first time we’ve met”
“Pinkie Pie’s been telling us about all you’ve done”
“well, I cant just take something for free, so if you need help with anything, I’ll be happy to help” I smiled.
“well, if you insist, I’ll send Pinkie or my husband to find you if we do” the mare grinined.

After walking out, I decided to just sit and relax, I found a tree to lean against.
Watching the world go by, I felt a eerie sense of gratitude to the Princessess, they could have easily killed me upon our first meeting. But now, looking back, I’m more happier than I was back on earth.

Earth was hell for me, plagued by the four horsemen in different areas of the globe, war in iraq, pestilence in areas with polio or cholera, famine in ethiopia… and death following everybody like a bad itch.

I didn’t let that bother me though, I had Twilight to keep me company on the long winter nights and warm summer days. Before her, I had a string of meaningless and fruitless relationships, I was used and abused.
But it had been years since the last one. My heart had grown heavy and cold. So cold you could catch frostbite off it. I think that’s what brought me here really. The pain and suffering I caused myself would be vanquished by all the happiness that flowed here. It was like painting a perfect picture without all the colours nessessary. But not everything was plain to see, somethings were left unsaid, Twilight would always worry about me dying in the line of duty.
Makes me sound like a solider more thatn anyting else. I suppose it was around that time, that I heard the sounds of hooves slowly trotting up towards me “hey there Sugarcube” the shadow said with a smile in its voice, “whatcha doin out here?”
The voice asked, as I slowly peiced the voice and shadow together, “hey AJ, im just enjoying lifes simple pleasures, Cupcake?” I offered, she nodded as I handed one over, “it’s a peaceful day, may aswell enjoy it” I motioned her to sit beside me, she plonked herself down in the shade. “ah’ve been meanin ta ask, is there somethin goin on between you an’ Twi?”
She noticed the redness on my cheeks,
“who told you? Cause pinkie and Spike were the only ones who….”
I shook my head, as the orange mare chuckled away.
“you should see your face,” she stopped for a moment, the comment I made had finally registered in her brain “there is somthin goin on, isnt there” I could only nod,
nervously I might add. “I kinda…well…” sratching the back of my head, I was searching for words
“its ohkay Sugarcube,” AppleJack nodded, “ya don’t have to tell me, but be careful Rarity doesn’t here about this” she chuckled.
“oh crap” was the only phrase I could muster, I shrugged my shoulders.
“well either way, She’s going to find out, Spike finally got a date with her” I laughed,
“he did? How the…. You gave him some advice didn’t you” she deadpanned for a moment, but her smile was stuck there. I nodded, pulling out a muffin. “oo, muffin” I cooed. The orange mare could only laugh at the sight of me munching a muffin with pure unadulterated happiness, complete with om nom.
“I think I should head back to the library, Still need to finish that book” I struggled to my feet.
After walking in silence Applejack finally asked “so, what’s this book about?” i turned round to answer,
“it’s a survival story, with a lot of psychological elements, basically its kinda like what happened to Luna when she became Nightmare Moon, there was a lot of things going on in her head that caused it”
I heard Applejack make a sound in reply, much like an "ooh I get it".
I got to the door, and heard two female voices arguing.
“but its not right, im telling you this now, as a friend”
“I still cant believe Spike told you, cant you see that I love him?”
before I opened the door, I took a deep breath, “Applejack, I think you should probably head back, I’ve got to put a stop to this” I said solemnly. The orange mare simply nodded, and left. Opening the door, I could see books strewn over the floor, Spike cowering under a table and two mares arguing of something stupid. “Ladies, please,” I stood in the doorway “stop the arguing, your acting like foals” I said, Spike quickly ran towards me to hid behind my leg
“Spike, I assume you told her? I wont be angry if you tell the truth” I said, looking at the small fear-filled dragon, who just nodded, “I’m sorry Dave, rarity just asked me how you were holding up and it kinda slipped out” the little dragon said, with fresh tears rolling down.
“hey, chin up little dragon, accidents happen” I said with a smile, not knowing the two mares watching me. they had stopped arguing. “now Rarity, I know your worried, but don’t be,” I walked to the sofa, flipping it upright with a grunt, “because I’m stronger than I look,” I said with a quiet laugh “and Twilight, I think we made a mistake”
I watched as Twilight flumped down. Rarity was furious, but I simply walked past her, smiling. Kneeling down, I placed my hand on her hoof, “Love, we should have told them sooner, Applejack knows, Pinkie knows, and Now rarity does too, Rarity was just concerned, but can you blame her? I cant, if anything, the fault is mine, nobody else’s” I kissed her on the forehead. “Rarity, if it makes it any easier, if I could turn into a pony, I would, hell, I’d give up anything and everything” Rarity heard this, even though it was a quiet murmer. “I’m sorry, Dave” She said, walking over to me “I can see why she loves you though, you’re kind, smart and understanding, you hardly raise your voice,” she looked at spike who was still trembling slightly, worried that I was angry with him and that I was hiding it “Spike still hasn’t realized you arent angry with him” she giggled, “well, I’d best be off, unless you want me to help put things away” I shook my head.
“I cant accept that offer, but Twilight can” I said with a smile, Twilight looked up at me and nodded “see, she does want your help, and I brought muffins and cupcakes, courtesy of mrs cake” I smiled.

I stood at the balcony, taking adeep breath. A foul wind was blowing that night, Twilight sat beside me, looking intently trying to see what I was thinking. “er, Twilight, love… what are you doing?” I said upon noticing her staring intently.
“its Discord isnt it, is he speaking to you again?” she asked.
“well, no… I havent heard from him since yesterday”
“what did he say?”
“two more days, send Celestia a letter, tell her about us, and about The new development”
“okay, monkey” she smiled, with a slightly worreid expression on her face.
After watching the green flame go across the night sky, i could only hope that it would arrive in time.

chapter 7
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 7

these are the voyages of the starship: loveboat

The Statue was under heavy watch from the castle guard. The fissures on the stone prison let out small streams of dark enrgy. With every passing hour, Discord’s transformation was nearing its mometic end.
The chill I felt on the library balcony could mean one thing… a storm was coming.

Spike had woken up with a mighty burp, shooting out a letter.

i pulled the bed covers off me, stepping out from the ageless vastness of sleep.
I looked back to see Twiligh snoozing away, she looked so peaceful there. I crept across the room, towards the door. Getting to the door, I placed my hand on the handrail, slowly walking down the stairs. However, these things don’t always go as planned, my foot slipped, and I crashed to the floor, sliding down the steps on my arse. Spike watched this happen, I looked at the little dragon, who was desparately trying to hold back fits of laughter. “now really, Dave,” I heard Twilight stifle a laugh of her own, “that looked painful” she buirst into fits of giggles.
“only my pride,” I joined the merryment. “so, spike, whats the letter say?”
“dear Twilight and Dave….” The dragon went quiet.
“not good?” I asked the dragon, who shook his head.
“just read it out loud Spike” I looked in his eyes, I could see his fear.

Dear Twilight and Dave

As happy as I am to hear you’ve finally settled in, I’m afraid we have some incredibaly bad news.

Gather the other elements and meet at the library in 20 minutes, Luna and myself shall be waiting.

Princess Celestia & Princess Luna

“that does not sound good” Twilight looked at me, and then turned to Spike.
“Spike, go get the others” Spike nodded and headed off.
“Dave, go get yourself washed, no time for breakfast” I nodded in agreement.
Quickly making my way into the bathroom, I stepped in the shower, washing myself of the sweat. Stepping out, I felt like a new man, unlike most days, I wouldn’t laze around. Putting on some new clothes, which would probably end up in tatters anyway, I walked back down stairs. The ever present sense of danger had shown itself once again. I noticed Pinkie was still twitching, complaining about a real doozy.
“hey everyone,” I spoke, leaning over the handrail. “you’re probably wondering why you’re here, simple”
I took a deep breath. “seeing as Flutershy and Rainbow Dash are the only ones who don’t know” Twilight sat beside me,
“we’re…well….” I went red in the face
“we’re in love” Twilight saved me from embarassing myself. I watched as Fluttershy smiled with delight, and rainbow dash flew over and patted me on the back.

“and now for the other reason,” I sighed. “Discord is returning”
I heard a chariot pull up outside. I turned to face the alicorn sisters.
“indeed, we must make haste,” Celestia spoke, looking directly at me.
“no Princess, if anything, Discord has been targeting me,” I looked at her dead in the eye “I’m the one who inadvertedly made his escape possible by being here, so I should be the one to fix it” I stood there defiantly.

The princess gazed at me for a while, not knowing whether to argue or to agree.
Luna being ever insightful thought of something “if you are truly intent on fixing this proble, how are you going to fix it?” the mare of the night asked.
“truth betold your highness, I havent thought that far ahead yet, i believe that sometimes the best plan is one which doesn’t exist” I concluded. Feeling proud with that answer, I smiled as Twilight nuzzled her former tutor “see, now that’s something I could never replace, Princess Celestia” I said with a smile, she looked at me with slight confusion. “you’re like a second mother to her in a sense, its not surprising that you have so much faith in her” I was interrupted.
“if your trying to appeal to my better judgement, just stop” Celestia spoke harshly.

“Everyone, I wish to speak to Celestia alone please” I couldn’t hold back that question anymore. I had to know, I picked out the same book I found at the start of what seemed like a grand adventure. I searched the pages and found what I was looking for. Everyone had left to talk outside; I looked in the white alicorn’s eyes.
“You owe me an explanation,” I spoke with a whisper, I placed the book in front of her, “explain to me what exactly happened that day” I indicated to the human in the book. She let out a deep sigh.
“Listen to me Dave; you were better off not knowing”
she took a deep breath, and told me the tale.

It was in the beginning of the modern era of equestria, our mother and father were the deities of the moon and sun… the human in question was a young man named Lysander, his original purpose was to help the people of Equestria protect themselves against the unknown evils that lurked in the shadows.
Lysander was a tall man who was chosen by the elements of harmony as a protector, much like you are Dave, but it came with a price.
He went mad with power and corrupted the gifts that the elements had imbued upon him.
Our parents decided it best to seal him in stone, before he began an irriversable transformation. Lysander died that day.

Discord was born.

I stood back for a moment, taking it all in. the information, and the bitter sting of the Princess’s tears. “I had no idea, is that why you’re so cautious of me?” I asked, the Princess nodded, I handed her a tissue. “Dry your eyes,” I said with a genuine smile “at least I know now that im not the original source of your pain” she looked at me for a moment. “Dave, I…thank you” were all she could muster. “I think we had better get going” she said to me, “gather the others once again, we leave immidiatly” I coherantly nodded. I walked down, and opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.
“right, lets get going” I walked out the door, nodding to Twilight, who followed suit, the rest caught on. We arrived at the golden chariot, hopping onto it, I decided it best to fly there. After all, when you’ve been imbued with the gifts of harmony, why not use them.
Flying through the air, I took a good look at the world around me. I could see different areas of the landscape, ponies ploughing, ponies playing and ponies lazing about like nothings happening. Soon their peace will come tumbling down.
Their world would be set ablaze, by a simple demonic spirit being released into the world. There would be one thing standing in his way.

I flew for a while before mastching the speed of the chariot, landing next to Twilight, I plonked myself down. Waiting for the chariot’s turbulence to ease itself out, I gave a big smile. “hey love, did ya miss me?” I said with a goofy grin on my face, my windswept hair billowing out. I leaned in for a kiss, but ended up on my face as the chariot shifted to the side. I pulled myself up, looking around, I saw the Castle of Canterlot in getting nearer. It was truly a sight to behold, my mind was racing for a moment. “wow” was the only word I could muster, Twilight looked up at me to laugh, but then noticed I was still gazing in wonder. “you’ve never seen a castle up close before?” I nodded at her question.
“ya know, there arent many castles left on earth, they’ve either fallen to ruins or have just been eroded away, faded in time” a poingant thought was shared.
“so who rules earth now?” Celestia asked. I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to think of a good answer. “truth is, there hasn’t been a ruler of earth for a few centuries, now the countries have governments, each with a blithering idiot for a leader” coming to that conclusion was easy really. “the peoples of Equestria are quite lucky”
I summed up my thoughts.

As we landed in the courtyard, I could only watch as other members of the guard took a defensive position. “At ease,” Celestia ordered them to stand down, which the reluctantly did, Luna explained to them the situation.
I took a look around the courtyard, and sure enough there he was, encased in a stone prison. The cracks were slowly getting bigger, the black steam rising around it.
“Princess, is it all right if I have a look around the castle?” being ever inquisitive, the question fell on deaf ears. “Leuitenant, whats the situation?” Celestia asked.
“the Statue of Discord has been giving off dark energy, some of the gaurds wish to surround the statue with enough magic to surpress it, but I highly doubt it will work”
“no it won’t” I stood closer to the statue, taking a good look at the dark energy.
“Nightmare,” I muttered to myself.
The two alicorn sisters were suddenly beside me, a worried expression on both their faces “nightmare? But how?”
“simple, he was in my head for a few days, must have rooted around, found something he shouldn’t have” I said, with a stoic expression on my face.
Suddenly a growl was heard, and I watched as the gaurds took up another defensive position. “hey, it was just me, didn’t eat anything”.
As we walked through the halls of the Castle, I began to notice the different paintings, the intracate details on the walls. I sighed glumly as we walked into a grand dining hall.
“yay, food” I said nonchalantly, attempting to smile. As I sat down at the table, or rather, knelt in a samurai style position, I simply asked for some green tea. “thank you,” i said with a fading smile, the others could see I was worried about something.
I watched as the two Princesses conversed, trying to come up with a solution to the Discord problem. It was to be expected that upon his arrival, chaos would soon rise again. “Dave,” Luna called to me as I took a sip of fresh green tea. “seeing as Celestia has already told you what became of the first human, we must ask you, why?”
“why what?”
“why do you want to do this for us?” she stated her true question. I relaxed a little bit.
“because, my kind has made it a point to stand up and fight, even if we die” I smiled, taking another sip. A bowl of porridge was placed in front of me, the sweetened smell invading my nostrils, picking up a spoonful, I took a mouthful. “not bad, still not as good as Redheart’s though” I said with a smile.
“the reason I ask is, well…” Luna tried to carry on her series of questions, but I raised my hand to stop her. “No need to worry, If I die, Twilight would never forgive me” I glared into the bowl of porridge, taking another mouthful. “it’s amazing how things can change so quickly, but stranger things have happened” I nodded.

as everyone sat down, I got up to look out the window, forever keeping a watch on Discord. The cracks were getting bigger, the fissures were getting wider. I had the feeling of dread creeping up on me. I felt a hoof on my shoulder. “it’ll be fine, I’m sure we’ll be able to stop him in time” I turned to see twilight, the light from the sun, bouncing off her streaked mane, silently dancing in her eyes. “I hope so,” I pulled her closer, “I really do” as i kissed her, I heard a multitude of cooing, it seemed that they could feel the love emenating in the room. It was slightly embarrassing, but worth it.

Breaking the embrace, I felt the ground rumble, turning my gaze outside towards the statue. The Transformation was almost complete. “everyone, outside” I shouted.
We ran towards the courtyard. The final cracks had spread quickly, the shell had been broken.
“ahhhh, perfect” I heard a distorted voice creep from the statue.

It was time.

chapter 8
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 8

"For Pony!"

I could see the fear in Twilights eyes as the nightmarish form that Discord had taken freed itself. "Ahhhhh, that’s better, I think Discord is a stupid name for someone such as me," the newly reformed nightmare-possessed discord cackled "I think a new name is in order”

I watched as the nightmare had reshaped the being formerly known as discord into a more, humanoid shape...

Fear gripped me for the first time since my arrival in equestria. The beast had become reality.
It sat opposite me, its claws, razor sharp, and its fangs glistening in the sun. It opened its mouth to speak, it rose from its throne, towering over me by a foot.

"I am chaos, perfect chaos, nightmare chaos... People of Equestria! I stand before YOU, Chosen by destiny by the powers of NIGHTMARE! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as the HUMAN himself bears witness to it. Now. I, SLANEESH, am Master of chaos! YES! Yes... I feel it, the power... fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows... Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! ! I am more than the princesses! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD”

I glared into its eyes, but the false god grabbed me by the neck and threw me through a building.
"that’s going to be sore in the morning" I grumbled, picking myself up. I flew up to a better vantage point, then zoomed towards the demon with one foot forward. the beast grabbed my foot, and swung me around like a baseball bat, knocking the ponies that were also using a varied attack strategy.
Applejack was constantly bucking the beast, while rainbow flew over its head, attempting to kick it in the head. fluttershy fell back to deal with any injuries the group had sustained.
in the end it was all in vain, as Slaneesh started its chaotic corruption.
the dark ooze darted towards me, then everything was a blur. I found myself destroying canterlot, I had no control.

My bestial form had taken root into my own slice of darkness, bringing my fists down onto a nearby factory. Killing countless, helpless ponies in the process. Picking up a piece of rubble, I roared. I threw the rubble into the castle, taking down several guards-ponies. Canterlot was on its way to become a slaughterhouse. The chaos that had consumed me, had began to corrupt the very ground beneath me, I could hear the cackles of Slaneesh in my mind. “You know, this is fun” the beast cackled like a witch “watching you do all the work” the beast formed outside my mind’s prison. I could only grit my teeth. “But now you must kill your new friends” he spoke with malice.

I could see the tears in Twilights eyes,
I was disfigured, transformed, corrupted by the nightmarish form that Discord had taken. My arms had become freakishly large; my fangs were as sharp as celestia’s horn. My legs were bent, misshapen. My mind was screaming out for help.
My body started to swing violently at them, roaring as it launched a few rocks at them. I felt helpless until I heard the scream. Twilight was screaming my name.
I had to fight for control. My mind was weakened severely, but that wouldn’t stop me. All strength that I had left was devoted to one thing, getting full control over my body. I broke the cage, re-organizing myself.
It only took seconds, but it felt like hours, maybe even days.
I could only grasp what felt like a steel rod. I proceeded to fight myself.
With a flush of rage, I had beaten it into submission, but that didn’t work. It only made my body lash out more. In the end I realized what had to be done.
I hugged it, coming to terms that I couldn’t go home, that I couldn’t live a normal life.

The feral version of me had taken itself to hiding within the darkest corners of my mind once more.
I finally regained control of my body.

The six ponies looked on in fear as I started to shamble towards them, my eyes bloodshot red, tears brimming, I attempted to beg for death, but I could make no sound other than screeches of pain.
I gave up, and then had an idea, considering I taught Twilight how to read English when I wasn’t around, I wrote a message "help me"
the same message I gave Zecora when we first met.
"kill me" seemed more appropriate to be frank. But never the less, they used the elements of harmony.

after the chaos that had consumed me left my body, I felt a new power envelop me, like a new drug, it worked its way into my blood stream, filling me with justifiable rage.
"did I do all this?" I asked Twilight, who nodded, tears still running down her cheeks.
"how do you feel?" the purple furred mare asked me. I didn’t say anything, just checked my self over.
She repeated the question, this time I answered "I’ll tell you later" I said with a smile, cracking my knuckles.
Not seeing hide nor head of the newly formed chaos god, I looked around, I heard the snarky voice, "it seems that you've run out of luck, Human," I could see the bastard standing there with 4 elements lying around him, severely injured. Something in me screamed the word kill, over and over.

"You condescending, sadistic, callus MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" I roared at the top of my voice, so loud, it could deafen celestia herself. my eyes now white with rage, blood seeping through my clenched fists.
the bastard had started monoluging, it was like he was following a super villain handbook.
"ha, which reminds me, how many humans does it take to"
I cut him off with a rage fuelled punch to the jaw, shattering his bones. "just one" I chuckled darkly.

he had dropped Twilight's unconscious form. I called Ditzy doo and Mac, told them to get the injured to safety.
blood still dripping down my hands. "but what about you?" the grey Pegasus asked, worried about my safety.
"I Don’t matter anymore, I'm expendable" I looked down to meet the Pegasus’s gaze, "if I survive this, I’ll get you a muffin" I smiled. the beast had stood up once again. "now, run, run for your life" the grey mare hovered for a moment, processing my words, which seemingly sounded similar to someone she loved so long ago, she took off with big Mac in tow.

"human, you've got a lot of nerve, getting me monologing"
"you've got a lot of guts," I grinned, but it was a different grin. "let’s see what they look like"
I cackled like a madman. but was abruptly stopped by celestia and Luna swooping in. "Dave, you've done enough" Celestia glared at me,
"But this is my duty" I argued
"No, your dealing with a God now, the duty befalls to us"
Slaneesh was getting bored of us bickering about whose duty it was. "how boring," he then shot a huge blast of dark energy at celestia "the prissy princess has come to save the day, oh how droll" I moved quickly, taking a bullet.
"Celestia, if anything happened to you, Twilight would never forgive me" I collapsed to the floor.

"I suggest you get out of here, both of you, the elements need you" I said with such sincerity, it actually made the stubborn princess listen. "just tell Twilight I love her" I whispered, scrambling to my feet in a feeble attempt to rise up in the occasion.
Celestia's opinion of the human race had changed that very day. no longer did she look at me with contempt. the wind blew, my long hair swept in the wind. the cuts and bruises long forgotten had become scars.
the adrenaline rushing through my body had given me an edge over the demon. I was the last thing, the only thing standing between Slannesh and total godhood.

"Dave..." Luna looked at me, pleading that I join them, I shook my head.
"this," I raised my bloodied hands "this is the blood of a singe human, burning with the lives of thousands,"
I took a deep breath "im not doing this for you, or for me," my eyes were glowing once again, "but im doing this for all existence, Slaneesh must be stopped..." I felt a new resolve. "no matter the cost" I nodded.
I walked through the chaos and corruption, the rubble gently rolling down. the two sisters flew to find the others. I finally stopped walking. Slaneesh was sitting there on his metaphysical throne.

"Slaneesh, Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me" I smirked. the demon shot me a glance, then picked up a small filly, one I recognized. it was applebloom,
the bastard had her in an icy grip. "let them go" I ordered the beast "they are children, you wouldn’t want their blood on your hands would you?" I could hear a faint snap, the filly's seemingly lifeless body dropped to the floor. She was still breathing, thank the gods. the demon had just sealed its fate.
I stood directly in front of him, nose to nose "I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!!" I roared. not noticing the sudden power surge rushing through my body. my hands started to glow eerily, the energy pulsated within my palms, forming concentrated power. I shot my hands forth, firing the same energy, striking the demonic being with enough force to level an entire city. my hair had stood on end, slowly changing its colour to a dramatic black.

"what the hay!" Slaneesh shouted. the being didn’t expect that kind of destructive power, nor did I.
"you honestly mean to tell me that you are strong enough to equal my abilities" the beast exclaimed.
I started to laugh, as slaneesh started to back away.
"turns out, insanity is infectious" I chuckled as I launched another wave, but I quickly had to stop since he threw Sweetie Belle at me. jumping forwards, I caught the kid in my arms. "Sweetie Belle, go get Celestia, tell her Applebloom is hurt, but do not tell Applejack, it will break her if you do" the filly nodded.

"why do you persist on fighting, what are you fighting for?" Slaneesh asked me, clutching its chest wound in a moment of clarity.
"well... What I'm fighting for? That's just ridiculous. I don't need a reason to fight. I have and am going to fight just to keep the peace!" I replied, not noticing the demon speeding towards me.
it was too late for me, I felt claws dig into my chest in a feeble attempt to rip out my heart.

My life flashed before my eyes, the seedless voices in my head screaming for retribution. I tried to get to my feet, weakened by my injuries. with one knee to the ground, I had gotten myself into a stance to hold my ground. I gave myself a choice, live free or die hard. "you know, Dave," Slaneesh finally used my name "all things considered, you're enjoying this aren’t you" the beast and I both chuckled.
I coughed up blood and bile. "Yeah. That's right. I can take anything you can dish ou-oh God there go my organs" I collapsed into a pool of blood.

as the cackling form of Slaneesh disappeared, I could hear the hooves and cries of my lover, begging me to stay alive.
"Twilight, please" Celestia, clearly showing tears in her eyes, motioned for the mare to move out of the way.
"Princess," I coughed "I’m sorry, I failed"
"no you haven’t, you've exceeded my expectations" the white alicorn said with a worried smile.
"I need a heal, got to stop Slaneesh, before it’s too late" Twilight's eyes widened with worry, tears streaming down her cheeks. "you're on deaths door!!!" she screamed at me, she could clearly see I was in a lot of pain "do you honestly think you can beat him?"
I shook my head. "not alone, I need the elements" I brought a hand to her chin "and more importantly, you" I said with such clarity. "when the beast is destroyed, I will return to you" Celestia watched as I kissed her, as lovers do.

I felt a wave of energy flow through me, healing broken bones, sealing open wounds. the wounds quickly scarred over, leaving streaks of blood running down my now tattered shirt. taking off the mjolner pendant hanging around my neck, I put it around hers "I need the power of the elements infused within me" I placed the necklace around her neck, watching her blush. "I promise, I’ll come back, in some form or other" I stood up.
Celestia slid something towards me, "you'll need it" I looked at the object for a moment.
my hands wrapped perfectly around the hilt, drawing the newly acquired blade from its scabbard. I stabbed the blade into the ground and kneeled before the sisters "what are you doing?" Luna asked me.
"there’s a tradition back on earth, when given a sword to use in combat by royalty, one has to kneel in wait of a blessing" I bent the truth.
"an odd custom, very well, thou hast the blessing of the moon" the moon princess's horn glowed as the moonstone within the blade's hilt glowed in an eerie fashion. "and the blessing of the sun" Celestia's horn also glowed, the blade of the sword had shone brighter than a thousand suns for a moment, then a blaze of heat could be seen rising off its razor sharp edge.
"thank you your majesties, I shall not let you down" I put the sword back in its scabbard.
Twilight held me in an embrace for a long while "I don’t care what the others think, monkey, I want you to come home safe"
she kissed me, "I promise I will, even if I have to drag Slaneesh's carcass all the way back" we shared a lasting kiss, but we were interrupted by ponies clearing their throats. we sheepishly grinned. "well, time to get serious" I said as I walked off into the the bizarre chaotic sunset.

chapter 9
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 9

"My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet and a Kuiper Belt object. It takes four hours and you can't skip any of the cutscenes."

As I walked through the new ruins of Canterlot, it has begun to rain, seemingly normal at first, but it then became Chocolate. “Talk about childish, Slaneesh” I huffed, pulling my sword out of the scabbard, watching as the blade glowed with a dim shine. I could make out the silhouette of Slaneesh making its way towards me, with an evil grin on its face, my blood dried on its claws.
“You know, I was taught a long time ago to stand up and fight” I looked at the beast dead in the eyes. “You’ve become disorganized, Slaneesh, now its time to end this”
I stood my ground in an offensive position. Having learned a thing or two about how to use a blade, I held the sword in a tai chi sort of pose. Remembering what a friend told me the sword is an extension of oneself, I stood my ground as Slaneesh quickly took the offensive; I was blocking hits and dodging chaotic energy waves. With this attack pattern I calculated a plan, simply observing his movements until the right moment.

I lunged forwards, catching Slaneesh off guard, a hit. I caught him in the chest, but was nowhere near his heart. I struck again, another hit, he took it in the arm, putting up his defences in a last ditch effort. The third strike was deflected by a fist to the face. I recoiled back to my original position. Thinking it through, and because he was now the personification of chaos, it would be harder to go on the offensive like I had done before. “Come on, what are you waiting for?” I was goading the demon into attacking me; it worked because he snaked around behind me. Using the sword as a mirror, I then brought the sword round in a tornado motion, cutting off the beast’s tail.
The beast roared in agony, a perfect strike. I used this to my advantage, I lunged forwards, blade extended in front of me, but Slaneesh was smart, he picked up his dismembered tail and struck me with it, sending me into a wall, my sword dropped to the floor beside me. “Fuck this,” I stood up, cracked my knuckles
“I’ve been holding back, all this time I’ve been here I’ve been holding back” I knelt down, eyes locked onto the beast. I picked up my sword, placing it back into its scabbard.
Slaneesh stood in front of me, puzzled by my actions “and the princesses think they’ve got problems,” I rolled my eyes, walking towards the beast, who stood there ever confused. “I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone” I punched him through a wall,
“Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die” picked him up by the throat. “But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am” I pulled back my fist, and heard the crack of thunder and bones as my fist collided with his ribcage. Slaneesh went flying into the air, landing in a heap of debris. I watched as he pushed rubble off himself, and glared at me, then sped towards me in anger, “I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE” he roared. I quickly drew my sword in defense, bringing the flat side down on his skull. The collision had caused a small shockwave, rippling through the leaves, kicking up dust. The power emitted from the shockwave had rippled up through my arm, sending a sharp pain through my body. I collapsed onto one knee, I stabbed my sword into the ground for leverage, pushing my self up.

I suddenly felt myself being lifted into the air, I had one of Slaneesh’s palms on my chest and the other hand was wrapped around my leg. He then proceeded to throw me, but I was smart. Using my elemental powers, I used the momentum of the throw to fly in an arc, landing behind him. I then stabbed him in the back,literally. He swung round, claws at the ready. He brought a set of claws slashing down across my face, just close enough to leave a small scratch. I tripped him over, hacking off the offending arm in the proccess. He proceeded to pick up his arm and beat me with it.
I kept my distance, in the end he threw dark energy at me once again, I deflected it, and noticed him charging towards me. “whats the one rule of combat,”
I said, readying myself to defend agaist an attack that fatally wounded me previously. I brought my sword up in a firey blaze. The heat from the blade cauterizing the wound.
His hand fell to the ground behind me. I was stood a few meters behind him, I turned around. “look around you, Dave, you’re still on your own” Slaneesh cackled, but he was wrong. “why are you laughing?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, still laughing at his statement. “an element of harmony is never alone” I stated, as the crystal embedded in my forehead started to glow. What came next shocked even me.

I floated in mid air for what seemed like 10 minutes, slowly being revitalized by the elements. Stranger still, was the energy circling around me, creating golden armour.
I felt stronger once again, no longer fatigued. I landed on the floor, within a dust cloud. “you claim to be a god?” I asked rhetorically. I drew my sword, which felt lighter. I attempted to fly, but quickly found myself still bound to the ground. Slaneesh once again started to cackle. I picked up a small rock, aiming for his head. I threw it, gaining a less than perfect shot. It bounced off his chin, shutting him up.

He walked up to me, staring into my eyes. “you know chaos cant be stopped” before he could say anything elese, I grabbed him by the arm, yanked it out of its socket brought my fist up into his elbow, and snapped his wrist.
“the thing about chaos? It’s easily organized,” I chuckled darkly.
“Discord, no….Lysander,” The beast’s eyes widened, “Celestia forgave you years ago, so has Luna… you cost them their parents, yet they forgave you” something inside the beast had stirred. The name of the seemingly deceased human, caused the beast unimaginable pain,
“Lysander is dead!” Slaneesh roared. “only Slaneesh remains!” he continued, smacking my leg with his foot, tripping me over, he then attempted to cave in my ribcage. I rolled to avoid it. Scrambling to my feet, I threw my sword above him, jumped up and caught it, slicing his back. The blood trickling down his back gave off a pungent smell, the smell of a rotting corpse. “how, your now a normal human again” Slaneesh exclaimed in pain.

“nothin normal about me, never was.” I ran forwards, “now do me a favour and die already”I stated, staring into Slaneesh’s eyes. I brought my knee up, connecting it with the beast’s chin. “you know, for an immortal, you sure do break easily” I laughed. “also,” I plunged my sword in his heart, then drew it out, twisting while I did it, watching the beast squirm in agony. “for the coupe de grace” I swung my sword level with his neck.
“I win, fatality” I muttered, picking up his head.
the armour which had surrounded me had disipated, leaving me in tattered jeans, bloodied boots and covered in blood, cuts and bruises. I walked along the hard track back to the others. The chaos had been stopped. The world slowly began to return to its former glory.

As I walked, I noticed the survivors were coming out of their hiding places. Greeting me with smiles, I even nnoticed some of the gaurdsponies were a tad roughed up, but still alive. Two of them rushed to my side, to make sure I wouldn’t fall. I was tired.
“Sir, are you okay? Do you require any assistance?” I looked down at the guard with a smile.
“no I’m fine, but thanks for the offer, I must apologize for the destruction I have caused though” the guard returned the smile. A thoughtful look spread across his face.
“you need not bother Sir, it wasn’t your fault” I was gobsmacked. Finally reaching the clearing, I threw the head of my enemy into the middle of the camp.
“Job done” I chuckled, the dried blood smeared across my face glistened in the newly risen moon. “I must say, I was expecting you both to die” Celestia spoke,
“if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years, its that you cant have everything” I nodded, I noticed the lake. “excuse me princess” I walked over to wash off the blood, dipping the sword into it to clean the blade. “that’s better”.

I heard one of the gaurds whisper into her ear, basically filling her in on what transpired. “Luna, come here” she called for her sister, “private lance, tell her what you told me” he whispered in Luna’s ear. I wached as her eyes widened in shock.

As I spotted the tents pitched up, I limped forth, and perched myself infront of the fire. The fire warmed my body, I then noticed the stinging sensations, my wounds werent bad, but they were sure as hell annoying.

“what do you reckon we should do, Tia” Luna whispered to her sister.
Celestia was worried that, in the recent events which had transpired.
The battle had left half of Canterlot in ruin.

“I think I know” Celestia trotted back towards me. she sat down next to me, and placed a wing on my back. “you’ve been through hell for us, and for that I thank you”
I felt a hoof on my shoulder. “does this mean we’re on good terms now?” I asked, a tear slowly forming.
“yes it does, as soon as everything is back to normal, I will send a letter forth, requesting your presence at the castle, Dave,”
“thank you,” I picked up the longcoat I left behind, and put it on. “does this mean our new arangement is fulfilled?” I asked, the princess simply nodded.
“I must apologize for the harsh treatment I gave you upon our first meeting” she said, but I brushed it off.
“no apology nessesary” I smiled.
“I’m just glad it’s over,” I heard a small voice, and whispers.
“how is Applebloom?” I asked the princess, she looked despondant for a moment.
“Applejack is with her, She’s alive, but,” I raised my hand, placing it on her chin.
“which tent?”
“third one on the left” she indicated.
I pulled the tent door to oneside and quietly stepped in.
I placed a hand on Applejack’s shoulder, and the other on Big Mac’s.
“I’m so sorry” they didn’t even move, I knelt down.
“how is she doing?” I asked. Not expecting an answer.
“She’s gonna be fine, no broken bones or nothing” Applejack answered.
“who checked her over?” I asked.
“Nurse Redheart” hearing her name, I was releieved.
“I’m gonna Check on the others” I walked out.

I was suddenly tackled to the ground, by a pink ball of energy. “ohmygoshareyouokayyoucouldhavedied!!!!!” Pinkie rambled on and on.
“as much as I share your enthusiams at me being alive,” I chuckled “I’d like to see the others” the pink puff balls eyes widened.
“sure, follow me” she bounced along to the other tents.
“pinkie, wait here please” I smiled
“okie dokie lokie” she rambled on with a smile.

I moved the tent door to the side, to see Fluttershy and Rainbow comforting Twilight.
Turning back around to leave, I was face to face with a very worried Rarity. “my dear, Nurse Redheart wants to patch you up” she then levitated a black t-shirt, placing it in my hand. “put this on afterwards” she then hugged me.

I walked up up to Redheart, who took one look at me,
“you sure know how to put a Nurse through her paces don’t ya” she giggled.
“careful, some of them are still a bit tender” I joked.

I turned to watch Rainbow and Fluttershy leave the tent, I put my finger to my lips as they saw me. the two pegusi promptly flew over, “what the hell are you thinking?” Rainbow asked me, she was stressed out, I could see it. “She’s just gone to sleep” Fluttershy continued. “Twilight’s been worrying about you,” I sighed when I heard this “when the fighting died down, she thought that…you….” I placed my hand on Fluttershy’s head
“could have been, but im not” I said with a smile.
I put the t-shirt on. Wincing a little as I pulled it over the bandages.
“now im incredibly tired, so if you don’t mind” I stood up, picked up the longcoat and walked into the tent quietly.

Twilight looked so peaceful, but she also looked cold. I did what a any gentleman should do, I laid my longcoat over her, then laid down opposite her.
I could hear her whimpering in her sleep. “gimme back my monkey”
I coulnt help but chuckle a little bit, before finally succumbing to the deep recesses of sleep, I leant forward and kissed her on the nose
.
Finally resting my eyelids, I fell into a deep slumber.

Finale?
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Discorded Humanity

Finale?

It seems to be chugging along at a good clip along relatively familiar terrain. Now my job is to walk up alongside the story with a crowbar and give it a good, hard WHAM! to move it into a different trajectory.

I awoke with a slight pain in my lower back. Then I remembered I still had the scabbard on my side, the belt was constricting me slowly. Undoing the belt, the scabbard hit the ground with a soft thud. i picked up the sword, and laid it beside the door of the tent. Looking back into the tent, i noticed that Twilight was still sleeping, I simply smiled. I walked out to see the two Princesses standing around the head of Slaneesh. “Discord deserved better, your majesties,” they turned to look at me, they were smiling, although Celestia still had a few tears to shed.
“if you’ll allow it, I wish to give him a proper burial,” I smiled “after all, I may not live for the fight, but that was the best I’ve had” I chuckled. I watched as a shovel materialized in front of me.
Grabbing the shovel handle, I walked over to a nice secluded spot and started digging.
After about an hour, I picked up the disembodied head and placed it into the hole.
After burying the head, I walked back, shovel in hand. “now that the jobs done” I muttered to myself, I glanced over to where the fire was, the 8 ponies all sitting around telling jokes to make light of an already solved problem. I sat down next to Applejack, “who wants to hear about the fight?” I asked with a cheery sort of tone in my voice, Rainbow Dash looked at me with wide eyes, after watching 8 heads bob up and down in agreement, I filled them in on every little detail.

“that must have hurt,” Redheart said, the air of worry carried over to the two sisters “but I can see why you did it” the nurse continued, I then told them about a bad pun I attempted to make at the recently deceased’s expense. Everyone laughed.
“What’s all this laughing about?” a tired voice called out from the tent.
a dishevelled Twilight stepped out into the light, taking in the sight of a world returned to normal. I craned my head round to look, “hello love” I said with a smile.
“MONKEY!” She shreiked, how she came to that petname, I’ll never know.
i suddenly found myself underneath a very happy, teary-eyed Twilight Sparkle.
I placed my hand on her cheek, “it good to see you too” I said with a cheeky grin, bringing her forehead to mine, I leant upwards to kiss her.
She returned the favour. Of course nopony wanted to interupt this lovely scene, but it had to be done. “uh Twi? Would ya mind getting off of Dave for a moment, I have a feeling the princesses want to talk to him” I heard a few chuckles. As she moved over to let me up, I winced a little bit. “Now then, all of you, we are heading back to ponyville” Celestia announced, looking at me for a moment. I suddenly dashed into the tent, and grabbed the sword.
“Dave, will you be flying?” the princess asked, I shook my head, looking a little annoyed. “nevermind then, hop in” the princess indicated the chariot door was open. All 9 of us clambered up the steps into the chariot. I sat down next to Twilight with a large grin on my face. “I suppose the rest of ponyville will want to know about what happened” Twilight said to the princesses, who simply nodded. I watched the clouds go by, happily humming a song which had made its way into my head. “Dave? Whats that song your humming?” Rarity asked with a smile. I looked at her for a moment, a smile slowly making its way back onto my face. “i cant really remember the name of it,” she looked at me for a moment. “kinda crept its way into my head as I fought Slaneesh,”
her eyes widened as the others gazed at me. “does it have lyrics? Could you sing them for us?” Twilight asked. I scrathed my head for a moment. Finally nodding
for you, love? Anything” I smiled, I let out a slightly mournful melody.

Twilight looked at me, as I went a deep shade of red. “that was….just…” she couldn’t think of anything. For once she couldn’t think of anything. But her actions speak louder than words.

After having our tounges battle it out for supremacy, I took a deep breath. We noticed the others staring at us. I opened one eye catching a glimpse of a few of them turning around slightly embarassed because of the scene. After breaking the kiss, our eyes met once again, however, I noticed a small glint in her eyes.
I smiled, pulled her into an embrace, then i went right next to her ear. “later, love… later” i whispered, raised my head, and winked. I watched as she went a deep crimson. Her eyes glistening in the morning sunlight. As we landed, I watched as ponyvillians trotted up to greet us.
“Mayor Mare, have your ponies set up a press stand for us, we wish to make an announcement” the white alicorn spoke. The mayor nodded, and rallied ponyville.

After what seemed like half an hour, a large gathering of ponies were stood in the town center. Lots of chatter and questions were raised. “my little ponies,” Celestia walked up to the podium. The ponies fell silent.
“as you know, recently a Human named Dave had somehow ended up in this world,” I was leaning up against a wall behind them. “from what I have heard, he has repeatedly put himself in harms way for you,” the princess continued. “recently, he has defeated a new threat to all Equestria,”
I smiled, “Dave, step forth and kneel” I walked up to the alicorn sisters, and promtly knelt, sword stabbed into the ground in front of me.

“by power of the sun,” Celestia started “by the power of the moon,” Luna spoke her part. “we dub thee, Sir Dave, Knight of the wind, Defender of Equestria” i felt the two horns tap my shoulders.
“rise sir Dave” I stood up, and placed the sword back into its scabbard.
“thank you your majesties” I bowed, the two sisters looked at me for a moment.
“you can make a speech ya know” Spike said to me.
“Cant be arsed, not really good at them, Pinkie Pie, are you Pinking what I’m Pinking?” I said jokingly, the pink party pony in question looked at me, confused for a moment. I walked up to the podium.
“ponies of ponyville, the impromtu party starts now,” I chuckled.
“but seriously, I was doing what anyone else would do to protect their new home”
I walked off. I heard the ponies conversing once more.

After the pricesses left to take care of Canterlot, I found myself under the same tree I had snoozed under, Sword still by my side.
“Dave, is…is it true?” my vision was blocked by a set of eyes infront of mine.
“whoah hold on Lyra, whats this about?” I asked.
“you and twilight? Is it true?” I nodded with a big smile, but then a shocked expression fell on my face.
“oh crapbaskets, I totally forgot” I hugged Lyra and sped off, leaving the teal coloured unicorn effortlessly confused.
I knocked on the door to the Library, taking a deep breath. Twilight opened the door, using her magic to pull me inside. Oor lips locked for what seemed like an eternity.
“twilight…”
the heat on my face could only state that i was blushing again. she dragged me to the bedroom.
The next I know is she’s pushed me onto the bed and had crawled on top of me. “is the door locked?” I didn’t notice until now, but I heard the door lock.

“you ready my love?” I asked her, she nodded, breathing heavily, we locked lips once more, then started on what could very well be the most exhausting enjoyable feat of endurance I have ever been a part of.
You know the saying “when two become one” I didn’t think they met literally.

she completely lost herself to passion and lust, pushing me down onto the bed, tugging at my jeans.
I was certainly getting a rise from it. Giggety was the only thought I had.
As she virtually ripped my jeans off, i felt a pair of hooves pull my flaccid penis out.
“er, Love, are you sure about this?”
she didn’t say anything. I laid my head back, expecting this to be just another joke played by my mind.
But it wasn’t. I felt a tongue slide itself up my shaft, curling itself gently around my balls.
“by the gods”
“I’ve been with a unicorn before, just thought I’d put it into practise elsewhere” she gave a sultry smile.
“what came next was no surprise as she took my now stiff member into her mouth.
I was enjoying every minute of it.
She then shifted herself around, finally resting on top of me.
“your turn” she giggled.

The gramaphone was jamming out a pony version of barry white for a few hours. Spike was banging on the door, complaining about the “noise”
We made love for 5 hours, which felt more like an eternity. We fell asleep in each others arms after a while of talking it over.

Within two days things had returned to normal, I helped clean the bedsheets, seeing as it was partially my fault they were in the current state of…well…. Best not to explain in full detail why they were in the state they were in. I must have gotten over excited, if you get my meaning.

I stepped out into the world, the scars were the only ting that remained. The sword made its home on my side once more, ready for what ever danger that would lurk too near the town edge.

She was still wearing my pendant, but I was happy enough knowing that it was safe.

I took another walk, this time Twilight remained by my side during the day.
The joy spread across my face was apparent whenever she kissed me.
The fight against Chaos had been won, and I have finally called this place my home.

After all, home is where the heart is, and my heart is with Twilight.
but the gods had a sick sense of humour, i felt a pull.
it was small at first. "Monkey, whats wrong?"
a flash of light illuminated the path.
"i dont know, but something is pulling me in"

without any warning, i was ripped away from her.
the portal was sucking me into a darkness.
i heard an ominous voice.
"you have done your deed"
"you are being returned home"
i attempted to argue.
"you will be called upon once more, when you are needed"

the light quickly dissapated.
i was back on earth.
but where?
.
the blistering cold.
the rain
.i was back in my hometown.
the very place i hated.

"Twilight needs me" i cried out.
there was a distinct chill in the air, like i was being watched.
i began to walk.

May the stars guided you to your next adventure dear reader.
And to those who have favorited this, I say thank you.
There will be more to come (get it) in the new year.

episode 2 begins
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Discorded Humanity

episode 2 begins

The fog was incredibly thick, so think you could hold your arm out and not see your fingers. I had untied the scabbard off the belt, and began to use it as a blind-man’s stick. I fell down what could be described as a basin of some sort, my vision cleared.
Looking around I could hear the screams of worried ponies, attempting to find one and other in the dense fog. I heard a voice shout out “where’s my muffin? Dinky Doo, Where are you?” I recognized that voice, a certain mail-mare of PonyVille.
I suddenly felt a dark chill in the air. Looking up I saw a ghostly apparition of things to come.

I saw a deadly, ghastly white horse with glowing red eyes seemingly running on air. I felt the icy glare of the being, chilling me to the core.
It shot down towards me and spoke “you,” the beast’s mouth never moved “are not of this world”
I rolled my eyes, drawing my blade from the scabbard. “Neither are you in-case you haven’t noticed” I retorted. The blade shimmered in the light, I plunged my blade through the strange being’s chest, but no blood was drawn. The being reared itself up, and brought its hooves down upon me.

Total darkness was all I saw.
I had not come this far to die now

Discorded humanity 2:where the wild wind blows)

it begins

chapter 13
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 13

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.

as i took my first step towards home, i stood atop a cliff.
the cliff overlooked the whole of ponyville, it looked peaceful.
however, what i failed to notice was a cyan blur heading straight towards me.
as i ducked down out of the way, she stopped.
"D-Dave? is that you?"
"hey Dash, its...well... " she pushed me to the floor.
"do you have any idea how long you've been gone?"
"two months" i stated, bracing myself for the coming storm of her reply.
"you've been gone for five years"
the information hit me like a ton of bricks."please tell me your joking?"
she shook her head, she could her the pain in my voice.
"you havent aged a day man, when twilight told me what happened..."
"where is she?"
i stood up, "she's at the library, like always... she's looking after" i clamped her mouth shut.
"thanks, Gotta run!" i shouted.
as i ran off, i had to think of what to say. i jumped over various stalls selling.. whatever they were selling.

i was suddenly bucked in the chest.
"now really Dave, you disappear for 5 years and then come back and tear up the place?"
"Applejack, maybe you can fill me in on what happened" i stated, she shrugged her shoulders.
"well, for starters, when you disappeared, Twilight broke... just damn near broke.. like her color just faded"
i was saddened by this. "and then when the baby came"
"baby?" i was shocked.
"yup, you got yourself a little colt"
my heart beat sped up. i had a son and didnt even know about it.

rainbow landed next to me. "Applejack, you didnt"
"sorry, i had ta... cant lie that well"
we heard a mighty roar of "no one breaks a pinkie promise"
i stayed put, my thoughts were of my son.... i had a son...

as the pink blour darted past she said a simple hi, but then came running back.
i was tackled into a hug. "OH DAVE!!!!! i missed you so much, well not as much as twilight does"
"pinkie, please... i just want to go home to the library"
she let me go, looking into my eyes. "okie dokie lokie" she siad glumly.
"hey, go get em Pinks" i smiled, "i'll still be here.... cross my heart, hope to fly,"
she watched as i went through the motions. "stick a cupcake in my eye"
"y-you remembered after all these years" i heard a certain posh voice.
"how could i forget, Rarity" i looked over to her and smiled.

"did she ever get her Cutie mark?" i asked her, Rarity simply nodded.
"she's traveling with an orchestra at the moment" Rarity smiled.
"i bet your proud," I smiled half-heartedly. she could see that i was still feeling the blow of being pulled away.
i then sighed and shook off the feeling.
"hows things with Spike?" i asked.
Spike walked out of the Post office carrying several large rolls of farbic.
"going quiet well actually, we're still together"
"thats good"

"she misses you, you know" Spike placed a clawed hand on my shoulder with a small smile.
i sat down on a near by bench, still trying and failing to keep my composure.
the dragon and pony could see i was about to break.
the tears welled up in my eyes for a moment.
"i'll be fine," i pinched the bridge of my nose. "just.... happy to be home"

i stood up and began the walk to the library, hearing the faint sounds of a mother chastizing a child.
i stopped outside the door, "look, i know you've been fighting, your father would" she was cut off.
"thats just the point, mom, Dad isnt here, you told me he disappeared"
i slumped down on the footsteps. "your father saved us all," she shouted "he saved me" i continued to listen until a heavy silence began. i stood up and brushed myself down.
i knocked on the door.

"i'll get it mom"
the small colt opened the door, but quickly hid behind twilight upon seeing me.
"hello, my love" i took a step inside as she averted her gaze from me.
"where did you go?" she whimpered, her voice wavered. i suddenly felt a pair of hooves hit me in the chest.
"you made mom cry!!" the small colt had bucked me.
i sat up and rubbed my chest for a moment. "hell of a buck you've got, did you learn form Applejack?"
the kid suddenly smiled a nodded enthusiastically.

"well, whats your name?"
he looked back at twilight who meekly nodded.
"Mjolner thunder strike" hearing the Colt's name, i smiled.
"kid, do you know what the first part of your name means?" he shook his head.
"hammer of the gods," i patted Thunder on teh head. "me and your mother need to talk, go outside and play"

"Twilight," she was still looking down. "Twilight look at me" i pleaded, whe her head lifted, her eyes were shut.
she didnt want to look at me, i didnt blame her.
"you've been gone for five years... and you suddenly reappear?"
"i know... im sorry" i tried to look her in the eyes, but quickly found that i couldn't.
"sorry?, sorry doesnt bucking cut it!!!, when you left, i was broken"
"i know but" i tried to defend myself.
"it felt like i was left at the alter for Celestia's sale!!!"
"Twi"
"you could have sent a message, you could have tried....
y-y-you could have" she broke into sobs as she fell into my arms.
i attempted to kiss her, but she pushed me away..
"i... i've moved on Dave, you can stay here if you like but..."
just like that.
the walls came slowly crashing down.
"so... i've been gone for five years, and you've found somepony else?" my voice wavered slightly.
my vision blurred for a moment, but i simply blinked it away. she was expecting me to simply lose it.
"five years... is a long time to wait," i sighed, silently choking back the tears. "i don't blame you"
she slumped down, "i...i'm the worst Pony"
"no your not, you're just looking out for Thunder over there" i sighed.

she had calmed down quite a bit. "so where did you go?"
"i was sent back to earth," i sighed "a voice had told me i'd be brought back when i was needed again"
i continued my explanation. "it had only been 2 months on earth, but five years here"
she looked at me for a moment, the pain of finding this out was plastered on my face. a few tears had found themselves rolling down my cheeks. "at least I'm home now"
"Thunder, could you come back inside, there's someone i'd like you to meet"
"why did you choose the name you did?" i asked the lavender mare.
"the word Mjolner reminded me of you" she pulled me into a hug..

"hey Thunder"
"hello mister..."
"Dave"

the small colts eyes widened as he uttered a word.

"Dad?"

Chapter 14
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 14

Men grow stronger through their tears

"hello Hammer" i smiled down at the colt in front of me.
"your really my dad?" the small colt asked me inquisitively.
"well, biologically speaking," he looked at me in confusion. i simply sighed. "well, i helped your mum make you..but i wasnt around to help raise you," he could see the glum expression on my face. "so... just call me Dave, or uncle" i grinned.
Thunder smiled at me for a moment before another question.
"you really saved Equestria?" the young colt looked up at me.

"heh, how else would i get these scars" i chuckled, inadvertedly quoting the joker.
the colt eyed up my scars, then called out to twilight.
she came walking back, placing a cup of coffee on the table.
"ummm, Dave, the Princesses are on thier way" she said nonchalantly.
"you hear that, Thunder? your aunties are...wait what?" i looked up in shock.
she smiled sheepishly, were they expecting me or something?
"you didnt tell them i was back, did you?"
"no, silly, they wanted to see thier nephew"
i chuckled, my son... nephew to the princesses.
"well, they'll be in for a shock"

as the sun hit the halfway mark, i mused to myself that it was noon.
"i'm gonna go hide, Celestia will probably want my head on a silver platter" i chuckled.
"five years and you havent changed, Sugarcube" Applejack said as she walked in.
"well, duh, he is the only human in equestria"
as i ducked, avoiding a glomp from Pinkie Pie, i mental chastized myeself for not hiding sooner.
"ah!!! box!" i jumped ionto a nearby cardboard box. imitating Solid snake.
"guys, im not here okay?"
i watched as they went through the motions of the pinkie swear.

i sighed and quickly fell silent. i hearad the wing beats of a certain pair of alicorn sisters.
i slowly began to crawl towards the sisters, their backs were towards me.
they were in conversation with Twilight and Fluttershy. i gently lifted the box off myself and laid my arms on the shoulders of the two mares. "you know, you should really relax a little," Luna turned to look at me for a moment, her eyes widened at the sight of me. "mind you, i'm just glad your here" i grinned as Celestia turned her head to look me directly in the eye.

within a few seconds, i found myself flying throw the air. i wound up in a pile of hay.
i got up, and laughed my head off.

as i kicked the door to the library open, i wandered in and sat down. "now is that any way to treat an old friend Celestia?"
she huffed as she looked at me with slight disdain. "you've been gone for five years, and havent aged a day"
"two months actually"
"oh, right...." she trailed off.
"look, Tia, i had no intention of"
"leaving so soon, i know" she looked at me apolegetically.
"but i have some news about twilight"

i sighed deeply with a saddened expression, "she moved on, i know... and i don't blame her" i stated glumly.
Tia never looked me in the eye after that, as if she feared i was angry. "as long as he's good to her, i see no problem"
i felt the Mjolner pendant fall onto my hand.
"Thank you twilight, for keeping it safe all these years" i smiled half-heartedly.
as the stallion who had captured her heart entered the library looked at me, he bowed.
"ah, sir... i hadnt expected our home to be graced with the presents of both the princesses and the knight of the wind"
i looked at the stallion for a moment, he then noticed the pendant around my neck. his eyes widened, "she said that the necklace belonged to ..."
i wasn't bitter, but i was saddened. "its okay, Aquilinus.... i better go anyway"

the ponies in the library could do nothing but watch as i walked out.
"looks like i might not be needed here after all" i sighed.
my walk took me to the outskirts of town. it was comforting to know that not much had changed.
i took up a spot on a bench in the park. i watched as the ponies blended into a mass of color.
"why... why me" i sighed. i felt a hoof on my shoulder.
"hey, you're back, do you remember me?" the grey mare looked down on me, smiling away like she always does.
"how could i forget those golden eyes, Ditzy" i smiled, but the smile faltered.

she handed me a muffin. "when you disappeared, Twilight did everything in her power to try and bring you back" she told me. "after Little thunder was Born though.... she stopped... realizing a little piece of you would be here"
i continued to shed a few tears, she was lightly stroking my back. "you havent aged a day really have you?"
i shook my head with a small chuckle. "y-your the third person that said that today," i sighed. "im still that mixed up twenty year old" i continued to chuckle lightly.
"do you need a new place to stay?" Ditzy asked me, i simply nodded.
she grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me to her home. "thank you Ditzy, i'll only be here for a few days"
she raised her eyebrows. "i just need to get away from here for a while you know?"

she looked at me and sighed. "look, Dave, you've been back a day now? and you already"
"Ditzy, just....i dont know what to do, i recognized the stallion in the library" her ears fell back.
"it was the gaurdspony you saved" i simply nodded.
"She deserves nothing less, as long as she's happy thats all that matters"
she could see that i was fighting with myself.
she pulled me into a hug, in an attempt to cheer me up. "your being awfully grown up about this"
i chuckled "its been two months since i last saw her... and five years since she last saw me.... i was stupid to think she wouldnt have moved on"

i told her how things on earth had changed. she choked on her tea when i told her i nearly died during those two months.
"motorcycle accident" i had explained to her the chaos and dangers of a two wheeled vehicle of death.
the said two wheeled vehicle of death was a harley davisdon.
i was blind drunk, tried to get home, only to write it off as it flew off the cliffs of dover.
"i was pretty damn lucky if i say so myself" i chuckled.

she told my about how Dinky was doing, but then dashed off, yelling "bucking hay i forgot clean about her"
i simply followed in her wing beats, running along side her. she flashed me a sheepish smile.
as we arrived outside the school, i had to take a rest. "whoa, never seen you move that fast, Ditzy"
i suddenly twigged that my head was now clearer that it had been in months.
chuckling to myself, i wrapped my arms around the wall-eyed, mail-mare "Ditzy.... thank you"
though i couldnt tell at first, she began to blush. i heard a giggle "um Dave, You can let go now"
"hi Dinky, Its been a while" i chuckled, seeing how much the small filly had grown.

chapter 15
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 15

He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it

Ponyville was quiet at night, i watched as the blanket of stars gently caressed the planet.
i sighed inwards as i lamented over times long gone. why do i keep doing this to myself, am i really just a universal punching bag? i was sitting on the roof of Ditzy's house. there was a sudden chill in the air, like a sharp icy stinging sensation. it worked its way down my spine. jumping down from the roof, i broke into a sprint.

i made my way to the fountain in the middle of town. the sword was resting, sleeping in the stone in front of the fountain.
it was almost as if it was calling me. i looked up at the night sky, the moonlight began to light the hilt of the sword.
as i placed a hand on it, i smiled. as i pulled on the blade, it became apparant that it was a mirror image of a scene which had been used many times before.
"well... this is ironic" i chuckled to myself as i effortlessly dragged the sword from its stoney bed.
the sword felt different. it felt as though it had missed its master for so long.
i looked down at the sword, now in its scabbard once again.
i walked back to the Doo residence with a new lease on life.

i heard a mighty roar emenating from the Everfree forest.
quickly running towards the root of the noise, i watched as a blue maned, white unicorn darted screaming from the offending beast. "you! bluey, Get behind me" i shouted, the mare complied and quickly darted behind a large boulder.
the beast stood before me and roared. i drew the sword, the moonlight bouncing off the blade.
"ello beastie" i lunged forwards, striking the beast in the left arm.
its huge slavouring mouth opened, it was attempting to bite me.

as i jumped backwards, i quickly found myself on the boulder.
i swung the blade in a diagonal arc, catching the beast across its nose.
"your quite large for a Manticore" i chuckled. it brought its stinger up to strike me.
as i effortlessly moved out of the way, it brought its stinger down.
the Manticore growled, attempting to pick up on my movements. i began to gaze into its eyes.
it brought its paw down, claws extended. it had caught me in the shoulder.
acting upon instinct, i jumped and twisted my body, creating a bladed whirlwind.
the whirlwind enveloped my body. shooting upwards, the blade connected with the tail of the manticore, severing it completely. the beast fleed. i simply opened up the stinger and took the poisin glands.
victory was mine.

"you can come out now, it's safe" i said, warmly.
as she stepped out from behind the safety of the boulder, she took a glance around.
blood dripped from the tip of the blade, running down from my arm.
"heh, it isnt a good fight unless i get injured" i chuckled, while putting pressure on the injury.
the white furred, blue-maned mare was at a loss for words.
"your welcome to follow me if you like" i said as i walked away.
she cantered up to my side, looking up at me for a moment.

i began to walk to Zecora's, leaving the glands and a note.
for a while, we walked in silence, the white mare obviously afriad that i was equally a monster.
until she saw the sword.
"thanks for.... whatever that was back there" she smiled, still looking slightly afriad.
"heh, no thanks neccessary, just doing my job" i said as i neared the home of a certain mail-mare.
i opened the door, "Come on in, just sit on the sofa, its where i'm sleeping for the time being"
i heard a second set of hooves hit the floor.

"where did yOH MY CELESTIA, WHAT HAPPENED!?" Ditzy shouted, clearly worried about my health.
i sighed, pointed to the blue-maned unicron, and promptly passed out on the sofa.

i awoke with a slight pain in my lower back. taking a blurry glance around the room, i came to the conclusion that i was still in the house. it had become apparant that i had been patched up by a professional. "ugh my head, groggy Dave is Groggy"
i sat up, only to be hindered by Bluey. "oh hey Bluey," she shot me a look "ok, not Bluey, then..."
"Vinyl Scratch"
"she speaks," i chuckled. "ms DJ" i winked, she was slightly confused.
"you know who i am?" she gasped.
"knight of the wind, duhhhh!" i chuckled. "not to worry, secrets safe with me considering i'm probably going to die in the next few months" i concluded.

"what do you mean by that?" Ditzy's voice sounded off from the kitchen.
i retold the tale of how i was resurrected by some unknown force during the fight against a god.
it was at that point that Ditzy made me promise not to die this time round.
"fine, i promise i won't die....that much" i cracked up.
Vinyl continuied to watch me act like a normal pony would.
"you saved my life dude, you're a knight and yet your acting like a normal pony? why?"
i placed a hand on her head for a moment. "ya know... nobility is somethin your born into,"
i smiled as i loweed my head to look her in the eyes, she still her sunglasses on. "just like your red eyes, i stand out enough already"
her jaw lowered. "but how did you know about my eyes?"
"eh, i didnt," i chuckled as i was handed a letter. "hmmm... as i thought"
"what is it Dave?"

i sighed, "its a request from the princesses, they want me to go to Canterlot Castle"
vinyl's eyes lit up, "can i come with? i was heading that way anyways"
"so you decided to cut through the everfree to save time?"
she nodded at my question. "fine then, let me just gather my things from the library"
"why exactly?"

"because it looks like we're on the road to canterlot"

i pulled a green hat out of nowhere...
and i then put it on my head. "i forgot i had this" i chuckled.
Vinyl face-hoofed.

and so the journey began.

chapter 16
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 16

i know how it goes alright....

it had been a full day since we began our journey.
i had to redirect our little adventure to a cave.
thank the gods our journey took us thorugh whitetail forest.
the rain was beating down hard, i had the fire started... with a little help from unicorn magic.
"so vinyl, why do you want to go to canterlot?"
she sighed. "well, i have to go visit a friend there"

i raised an eyebrow. "fair enough, seems like a touchy subject"
"it is" she looked at me glumly.
as i the fire raged on, the crackling wood had sent me into a meditative state.
the voice returned. "you will not survive"
oh, well thats just great, first it was john De Lancie... and now its some ominus voice i barely recognize, for fuck sakes!
the voice faded into nothingness once again, but a new voice invaded my ears. "dude, come on, rain's stopped"
"okey doke, vinnie" i chuckled as i stood up.
as i stepped out of the cave we were hiding in, i took a glance at the world before us.
as peaceful as it is, i couldn't help but feel watched.

we continued our journey, until i heard the rustle of leaves.
there was no wind, only stillness.
i laid a hand on the hilt of my sword.
"Vinyl," i crouched down. "get behind me, and keep quiet"
she simply nodded. as i stood up once more, i took a better look.
"come on out," i growled "Diamond Dogs"
the ringleader stepped out, and simply chuckled.
"give us the shiny thing and the pony"
i deadpanned. "okay," i threw the blade.
it struck the Diamond dong in the chest, pinning it against a tree.
as the others jumped out of the bushes, they looked at me with fear.
one made an attempt to grab Vinyl, she jumped out of the way.
"Dogs, look at your leader" i shouted.
they glanced over to him, "do you want to end up like him?"
i grabbed the sword and pulled down, decorating the earthy floor with its innards.
they turned and ran. "good choice"

the walk through whitetail woods was, for the rest of the journey, uneventful.
that is until we stumbled on the path to Canterlot. "ha, follow the yellow brick road" i grinned.
"what?" Vinyl raised an eyebrow. as we walked along the beaten dusty path, i told her the tale of dorothy.
after a while, the story had ended, and she started to laugh. "so thats what you ment"
"pretty much, theres the gate" i grinned, finally reaching our destination.

the two gaurds stood either side of the gates bowed to me "Welcome back Sir Dave"
"hey Sunny" i waved to the guard.
"well, i better head off to the castle" i sighed.
"your not coming with me?"
i shook my head, but made a suggestion.
she agreed to it, and trotted off in search of her friend.

i continued to walk through the city. taking note of happy couples.
Checking my pockets, i found i had a few Bits to spare, i smelt the sweet smell of coffee.
i followed the smell unitl i was met with a small cafe. as i opened the door, i heard the faint tickle of a bell hidden above the door. "Welcome to the....Wow"
"heh, i get that alot" i smiled half heartedly.
i took a look around, again surrounded by couples.

Part of me wants to scream and shout at them for being so happy,
But another part of me is happy for them.
At least they won't feel the bitter sting of blood sweat and tears.
I felt this pain before. It's like a heartache or heartbreak.

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?

"just a coffee please" i sighed glumly.
sure enough, i place down the amount of bits, take my coffee and continue my journey.
soon enough, i walk past the theatre. the poster behind the plexiglass screen advertising a show of great importance.
taking note of the time, i continue on.

finally the drawbridge was insight.
i was at my main destination.
the quest for more coffee had begun.

it was 9:00 in the morning, i had looked at the gaurds. they were standing at attention, but they were waiting for something.
"good morning gentlecolts" i cheerily said.
"who goes there?" one bellowed.
i stepped forth from the shadows and smiled. "just your friendly neighbourhood Human"
they seemed to relax slightly. "i have business with the princesses"
"im sorry but, due to recent events...."
"like my undisclosed return?"
"yes"
"well in that case" i walked off in search if vines creeping up the walls.

sure enough, i found them creeping up the back wall. hit it Toasters! i chuckled to myself. i grabbed onto one vine and started to climb.
it was a bit of a long haul considering my sword kept clinking against the wall.
"who's idea...was it... it have a ...wall this high" i said between breaths.
finally reaching the top of the wall, i looked over. luckily there was a bush.
i flipped over the wall like a cat... or at least, thats what i thought.

thorns hurt like a fucking bitch.
now i was running along, avoiding being seen by guardsponies.
Ocarina of time all over again
Chuckling at my current thought was a bad idea.
i lost my footing and fell through a bush.
but luckily it lead straight into a pool.

"who the fuck puts a pool behind a fucking hedge!!!" i shouted, frustrated that i couldnt fathom the possibilities.
"language....sir...Dave" i was spotted.
"I'm here to see Celestia" i grumbled.

i was sat outside the throne room, luckily the servants had stopped to ask me a few questions.
i happily answered them all, and was brought coffee.
"ahhh... finally my quest for coffee is over" i chuckled.
"that it is, Dave, please, Come in" i heard the regal voice belonging to Luna.

chapter 17
View Online

Discorded Humanity

chapter 17

I'm Sir David, Knight of the wind, alright? Difficult takes a few seconds; impossible, a few minutes

i was lead into the throne room, seeing the looks on the faces of nobles and foreign dignitarys in slight worry that i might do something. she took her seat next to Celestia. i stood and waited, as the arguement between Celestia and a very distraught looking Griffin was getting heated. "ENOUGH! your highness, with all due respect, Terrinscore, the Human has arrived" Celestia huffed glumly. the Griffin took a glance at me for a moment, and then laughed.
i remained still, considering that if i did take a hostile course of action there would be major reprocussions.
"Princcess, surely you jest, this... fleshy thing? a hero? dont make me laugh"
i winked at the twin Alicorn sisters, and silently moved behind the Griffin emissary.

"Terrinscore, tis no joke," he jumped at the sound of my voice.
he swivelled on the spot, looking directly at me.
"I am not a hero... i am a warrior, blessed by the gods themselves," i tapped the pendant. "blessed by the elements"
he studied me with eyes like a hawk.
"i apologize, but until i hear the story from Your point of view"
"Celestia, please, memory share spell"
it was lucky for me that the fight against the chaos was still fresh in my mind.
i watched as the griffin reeled back seemingly in fear.
"now do you beleive?"
the griffin nodded.
"Good, now then, Celestia, you wanted me for something?"
the white Alicorn simply smiled, "yes, we have a new mission for you"

mission? for fuck sake...
"a simple escort mission"
"let me guess, i've got to escort Terrinscore back to the Griffin homeland without him getting killed"
the mare sheepishly nodded. i sighed. "fine... on one condition"
"and that would be?" the mare asked.
"armor, i have a feeling i'll be needing it in the future"
the gaurds ponies smiled at this. "well, greenhorn, take him to the barracks, im sure the blacksmith will love this challenge"

the barracks were surprisingly quiet, considering the new recruits were currently being drilled by a very harsh sargent.
as we walked past the sargent, he looked me up and down. "you there," fuck "your that thing from 5 years ago, saved Equestria" i simply nodded. "any good with that blade?"
"heh, i'll show you after i get my armor sorted out"
the unicorn soldier simply nodded and continued to shout orders.
the blacksmith was sat there working on golden armour. "Forge, i have a warrior here"
the pony looked me over, saw the sword. "ah, i wondered who had that, how is it?"
i looked down, "you made this? if i can decapitate Discord with it, then it is excellent"

the pony smiled, "well, my name is Iron Forge, you're here for armor, yes?"
i nodded, "no helmet though" i added. i was suddenly enveloped in light.
Forge noticed my worried expression, "i'm only taking measurements, i've seen into your mind on how you want this armor to look... its quite simplistic"
i sighed, "dude, I'm not from this world remember" i stated. he had gotten to work straight away.
i simply walked back through the barracks and laughed.
"so then sarge... about this little challenge?"
the sargent looked at me in surprise. "no armor? heh, you've got guts Hero"
"wanna see what they look like?" i chuckled, as did the sargent.
"well then, follow me... all of you"
i simply did as told, being lead to a hall.
"welcome to the main training room"
"who's first to try their hoof at besting me in combat then" i smiled.

suddenly there was an explosion. "time to go to work" i ran up back to where Forge was.
he suddenly threw the prototype armour to me "put it on, and hurry"
i donned the armour. the silver bracers on each arm, a pauldron resting on my left shoulder.
the cape covered the other arm. the greaves were comfortable.
"Forge, nice work" i dashed out to the throne room.

as i walked through the corridors, i had to fight my way through.
there wasnt a thing i wouldnt do to my enemies. i tore them apart, decorating the walls with blood and innards.
my enemies were Griffins. thier talons, sharp enough to leave a scratch on my armour.
my shirt was torn to peices, i was not happy. i finally reached the throne room.
"Terrinscore!"
he turned to me, with a maniacle look in his eyes, "the warrior returns hmm? SEIZE HIM!"
His elite honor gaurd had appeared out of nowhere. they attempted to outflank me.
"not today" i muttered.
i reached forth, my blade shimmiring in the sunlight.
"not today, Terrinscore," i smirked.
i spun my blade around, decapitating the two griffins closing in on me.
"or any other day, Run while you can"

i watched as most of his surviving soldiers flew off, carrying the wounded and the dead.
"Celestia, is everything alright?"
"yes, I'm fine, but"
a messenger pony burst through the doors, he was bleeding and out of breath.
"your majesties, oh my....wha... Ponyville is under seige"
i stopped to stare at the pony. "are you sure, any casulties?"
"not yet sire"
the sargent had trotted up, looking me in the eye for a moment.
"sarge, i need 2 of your best"
"just two?"
"yes"
he left, for moment there i took a glance. Celestia was calming Luna down.
"has this happened before?"
"no... but the gri"
"ponyville better be unharmed" i said darkly.

the two ponies introduced themselves. "my name is grimm strike"
a black pegasus pony from the night gaurd.
"and im"
"Sunny Skies, i know" he was a unicorn pony from the day gaurd.
"we go to Ponyville, now!"

we were transported by a very distraught looking Celestia.
"good luck, Dave" was all she said to me.

chapter 18
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 18

Beware the fury of a patient man.

the three of us found ourselves on the cliff, overlooking Ponyville.
the peace and tranquility of the small town had been disrupted by Griffins.
i heard the cries of anguish. "if any of you two make an off hand comment, i will gut you myself"
i growled. the two ponies watched as my eyes began to turn blood red. "sir, your eyes"
"i know" i jumped down the cliff face, digging my sword into the cliff to slow my decent.

the two ponies landed beside me. "what should we do?"
"simple, Grimm, you fly over Ponyville, survey the area, give me a good heads up of what's going down"
"aye,"
"Sunny? Your to report to sarge, as soon as i give the signal"
Grimm flew off, i stood and waited.
within a few minutes, he was quickly taken down.
three griffins were surrounding us.
"heh, you, fleshy, are getting too close"
"i'd like to point out... you're all going to die here"
the unicorn stood back, watching me work.
killing them was easy, getting the blood off my skin was hard.
"lets go find Grimm"
the unicorn nodded in fear.

"heh, you scared?" i asked Sunny, he simply nodded.
"thought as much, just retreat and report back to celestia, i'll do the hard work"
i smiled.
"how can you be smiling at a time like this"
"simple... its my job" i grinned. he took off shortly after.

wihtin a few moments, i came across the house of Ditzy Doo.
it was on fire, i burst through the door, and looked everywhere. finding a small note,
"gone to library"
i quickly ran back out but was once again surrounded.
six griffins launched themselves at me. i moved to the side. they piled up on top of each other.
"too easy" i walked off.

i knocked on the door of the ponyville library.
"Griffins dont knock you know"
the door was opened and i was pulled in.
"you came? and why... oh...."
"sorry about the mess" blood had matted my hair, slicking it back. i had a few cuts across my face.
i was being eyed up by several ponies inside the library, all 6 elements, Ditzy and Aquilinus.
"Ditzy, wheres Dinky?"
i noticed her eyes were reddened by tears. "they took her, Thunder aswell"
my face gave away my emotions.
i turned around, and walked out.

"this is it, its do or die, no gianax ending" i grunted as i pulled my sword out of its scabbard once more.
i ran to the cries of foals. a griffin landed in front of me, bearing its talons.
i looked it dead in the eye. "Exactly where are the foals, and how many griffins do i have to kill to get them back?"
the tip of the blade was now resting on the griffins jugular vein. "if i so much as see your kind in Ponyville again... i wont hesitate to kill you" i said darkly. "nobody fucks with my son and gets away with it"
the rest of the griffins landed, and saw the rage in my eyes, one of them quickly opened the gate.
"now, i suggest you leave"

they left. put my sword away and walked through the gate. "Dave?"
"hey Dinky..." i smiled at the filly.
"Dad!! your alive!" i was jumped on by Thunder.
i stood up, with him dangling off my back. "it'll take alot more than some griffins to kill me,"
"all of you better follow me to the library"

i knocked on the door, taking notice of the gaurds ponies now beginning to set up a barrier around ponyville.
"i got the kids with me, they're safe now"
Dinky and Thunder ran into the house. i walked in.
"Dave, shower now" came the shout from Twilight.
i took off the armour. and walked upstairs.
and took a glorious shower.
the blood ran off me like a small torrent.
i sighed.

after drying myself off and re-arming myself, i walked back down stairs.
Celestia was waiting for me.
"you knew, didnt you"
she was slgihtly taken aback by the comment, but shook her head.
"i had no idea, but then again, i should have expected this from Terrinscore" she sighed.
"does the Griffin parliment know about this attack? if they do"
"no, we will not go to war" she shouted.
"i wasn't going to say anything of the sort Celestia, i ws just going to say... send me there"
Celestia gave me a look, one which basically screamed no killing.
"fine..." i huffed.

the night was upon us now.
Ponyville was at peace once again.
i searched for Grimm, but he was no where to be found.
until i heard a faint cough.
"Grimm?"
"Over here"
he was lying on a small fence, it had broken around him.
i could see the clawmarks from the griffin that brough him down.
i picked him up and carried him to the hospital. "thank god the hospital isnt far"
i walked through, and hollered for a nurse.
within an instant a pair of nurses with a stretcher burst through a door.
i placed the injured pegasus on the stretcher.
i just hope he survives

CHAPTER 19
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Discorded Humanity

CHAPTER 19

Dont shoot the messenger

Grimm died on the hospital bed.
not alot could have been done except makingit easier for him to pass on.
"he was a true patriot" Sunny said as he sat beside me.
"see you space cowboy" was all i said.
as i walked out of the hospital, Celestia was waiting.
i spotted a griffin land infront of her. i was about to charge, but quickly stopped myself when the griffin knelt.

"the king sends his sincerest apologies,"
i walked slowly towards the group and simply listened.
"had we known that Terrinscore was...insane, we would have sent someone else"
"ah... i thought as much," i tapped the griffin on the shoulder, "has he been captured?"
the griffin shook his head. "then, i wish to speak to your king in person, a simple request"the griffin looked me up and down. "very well, i shall return wtih the king in a day, be at Canterlot Castle"
the griffin flew off.

jumping ahead of time, i wound up in the castle, waiting.
finally the griffin king walked in.
within a few moments, i stood infront of him staring him in the eyes.
"you, knight?"
i simply nodded, "look, your highness, lets not beat around the bush"
he raised an eyebrow at how forward i was being, "you can speak?"
"every fucking time- look, i'm simply requesting permission to hunt down Terrinscore and"
"kill him? granted"
i wasn't shocked to say the least..
"take the youngling with you"
"why?"
"the fool seeks adventure"
i simply flipped him off and then walked into the armoury, "yo, Forge... i think i'll need some better armour"
"why exactly?" he hadnt looked at me, concentrating on his work.
"well... just look at me" i chuckled.
the armour i had on was scratched and dented in some areas.
the greaves had deep cuts going through them, barely missing my legs.
and the torso protection was now non-existant.
"honestly, getting ionvolved with griffins is hard work" i chuckled.
he raised an eyebrow, but quickly got to work.
"just stay here for now, okay?"
i nodded, and promtly sat down.

"so, Dave, who are you really?" Forge asked.
it was one of those pressing questions which i would never be able to answer.
"never took you for a philosipher forge?"
"theres alot you can learn by making armour" he answered.
i sat there in deep thought.
finally i had my answer, "i am who i'm needed to be"*
"hmm interesting answer, but thats not what i ment"
"oh... i am Sir David Payne, Knight of the wind"
he finally clicks. "i wondered... its been five years, but you probably don't remember"
"Remember what?" he stopped and looked at me.
"you... killed my family while you were that... monster"
everything seemed to stop, a silent tear rolled down my cheek.
"i'm sorry....i'm so sorry" my voice wavered.
"Dave, your forgiven" i sighed.
"i dont deserve"
"you do, you saved us that day and these things happen"
he patted me on the back and continued working.

i fell asleep in the armoury. a very bad idea.
i heard the sounds of the last peice being imnued with magical energy.
"here, try it on"
i slung each peice towards me. "i've used my magic to strengthen the steel, and i've added an elemental debuff to it, so basically any elemental magic that gets thrown your way wont have much of an effect on you"
i grinned. "so basically its magic armour, strong against elements and sharp or blunt objects, weak against other magics"
"pretty much," Forge chuckled. "just try and clean it once in a while"
i mock saluted and left for the throne room.

"so, wheres the youngling?" i walked in.
"right here sir" the griffin answered
"good, your coming with me"
"where?" he asked another question.

"to settle a score" i growled.

* the answer is in actual fact my own...

chapter 20
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 20

Yay, now is fighty time, fighty time, blood blood blood!

Finding the place where Terrinscore was hiding only took 9 words.
The idiot should really learn how to hide, the kid looked at me for a moment.
"uh... Sir? what are we going to do?"
i simply glanced over and then re-averted my gaze back to the hideout entrance.
"heh, ha..hahaahaha" i began to laugh like a madman.
the young griffin began to look worried.
"it's simple, we dance in to music, preferably musetta's waltz, and then....well"
"Kill em all?"
"no...i just havent planned that far ahead yet" i grinned sheepishly.
"oh...well... how about this, we just walk in"

i face-palmed for a moment. the sighed "go to the coast, we'll get together have a few laughs" i lamented quietly.
die hard? seriously i thought to myself. but in the end, the griffin with me was right.
"you know, Kid... i never did get your name"
"well... i dont like it"
"thats fine... i'll just call you Bob"
Bob looked at me and smiled. "i like it"
"well... lets ROCK!" i ran in drawing my sword, however, i was quickly screwed over.
"um...Dave? i think we're"
"Fucked up the arse with no lube or cesstation" i fumed. running into a place fullof potential life threatening pointy things was not the best idea. surrounded by a high amount of enemy soldiers, i did what anyone else would do in this situation.
a set of expletives could be heard on the otherside of equestria.
".....with a Goddamn pig" the griffins all looked at me for a moment.

there was a certain button you do not press, the one marked "do not press"... guess what they did.
yep...

they pushed it.
by laughing.

i took a deep breath and drew my sword. i fell silent.
flicking the blade, it made a subtle ring. the griffins became quiet.
"is the fool, Terrinscore here?" i asked.
one griffin spoke "heh, why...yes... he is... just finishing your friend off"
"who? Bob?"

Bob's cold lifeless body was thrown towards me, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
crashing against the wall, i looked down. Bob was at peace.
i stood up again. this time, picking up my sword and placing it back in the scabbard.
"that was dumb" i became stoic, walking up to the griffin that threw Bob.
"what are you going to do about" i puched him, once... twice... three times...
the cascade of punches was brought to a stop. "Omae wa mo shindeiru"
i grinned as his head made a satisfying explosion. "heh, hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken
i win, Terrinscore, come on down!" i shouted.

with that, Terrinscore flew down, and the other griffins backed off
"what the hell did you do? pray to the chaos gods for power or something?"
he Didn't speak. he simply charged at me, knocked me down and took off for canterlot.

"DAMNIT!" I shouted.
and ran, following Terrinscore.
my legs were tired, i was pissed.
i jumped and latched on to the beasts leg. "your not going to get rid of me that easily"
he simply roared and kicked me off.
i crashed down into The ponyville library. "ow" was all i uttered as i got back up. i continued to run after the flying demon.
i began to run out of breath. "no, if he gets there... its all over, i've got to hurry"
i picked up the pace, breaking into a full sprint. "got to go faster" little did i know, i had my abilities back.
my speed greatly increased. i was now zooming along, but still at half the speed of a certain rainbow mare.
i watched as the beast took down the wonderbolts...
then the pegasi guard.
i had finally arrived at canterlot.
the castle had a hole in in its side.
i stopped. the beast had landed infront of me.

"lets get dangoures" i grinned as i drew the sword.
i was staring certain death in the face, the beast was bigger, faster and stronger than i was.
the look it gave me as the sword shimmered in the light was priceless.
it had seen the sword decimate griffins and demons alike.
but it did not falter.

"you are a fool, Human, You may have defeated my Brother Slaneesh, but will not kill me"
"brother?, theres more of you?....wait.... slaneesh...tzenech....nurgle....khorne" i listed off names.
"yes... your race called us the four horsemen did they not?"
it brought its talons down upon me.
i dived to the side and rolled.
"so..." i looked at the remnants of Terrinscore's discarded flesh. "you must be Khorne"
"that is correct, i am Khorne, god of" i caught him off gaurd.
"you done, because i have things to do"

the resulting clash of talons and steel set its fur ablaze. sparks flew.
"is that all your feeble human body can withstand? my power is limitless" Khorne roared.
"if you say that you'r a god... i will curbstomp you out of existance" i groaned, frustrated that the fight had gone on this long.
"i am a god!"
my calm demeaner had gone, as Khorne flew off once again, it began to attack Canterlot directly.
but thats when it happened. the crystal embedded in the pendant began to glow.

i floated up, and began to fly after Khorne.
"KHORNE!"
The beast stopped its onslaught and turned to face me.
"at the end of this day, one shall stand," i floated opposite the beast in mid air. "One shall fall"

the tempered steel of the sword was pushed through its chest, burying itself into Khorne's black heart.
the fight was over within a few moments. the searing pain seeped its way in.
i felt the burning sensation of the beasts body slowly turning to ash.
The wonderbolts landed and pulled me out from underneath, i was bleeding heavily.
once again, i was gravely injured. "get the Princesses," i coughed up a small amount of blood "oh great, definatly going to die" One wonderbolt had arrived with Celestia.
"this is two you owe me" i chuckled, still clinging on to life.

the voice had returned you will die... but not yet i was healed once again.
"FUCKING WHITE MAGE!" i roared. the ponies surrounding me were shocked by the out burst.
you must return to whence you came the portal opened, again pulling me in.
not this time, i shouted at the voice im finally home, and you want me to go back to hell? what kind of god are you? upon this mind shout, the portal closed.

"im staying here, whether you like it or not" i grinned.
celestia looked at me and was about to ask something.
"Tai, it doesnt matter, just send me to ponyville, something tells me this isnt over"
she raised an eyebrow. "not by a long shot"

PART THREE

DH: Fallen leaves

two down.....two to go

episode 3: when the wild wind blows
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Discorded Humanity

episode 3: when the wild wind blows

considering King Sombra didn't get much screentime...I felt i wanted to give him a more... bigger role in this episode

The fog was incredibly thick, so think you could hold your arm out and not see your fingers. I had untied the scabbard off the belt, and began to use it as a blind-man’s stick. I fell down what could be described as a basin of some sort, my vision cleared.
Looking around I could hear the screams of worried ponies, attempting to find one and other in the dense fog. I heard a voice shout out “where’s my muffin? Dinky Doo, Where are you?” I welcomed the voice, a certain mail-mare of PonyVille.
I suddenly felt a dark chill in the air. Looking up I saw a ghostly apparition of things to come.
I saw a deadly, ghastly white horse with glowing red eyes seemingly running on air. I felt the icy glare of the being, chilling me to the core.

It shot down towards me and spoke “you,” the beast’s mouth never moved “are not of this world”
I rolled my eyes, drawing my blade from the scabbard. “Neither are you in-case you haven’t noticed” I retorted. The blade shimmered in the light, I plunged my blade through the strange being’s chest, but no blood was drawn. The being reared itself up, and brought its hooves down upon me.

Total darkness was all I saw.
I had not come this far to die now.

Luckily for me, Shining Armor was there to pull my ass out of the fire. I rolled out of the way of the shadowy fog.
As Shining charged a spell aiming for the strange shadow, he was engulfed. I picked up the sword to attempt to drag him out of the shadows. he was promptly launched towards the newly resurrected Empire of crystal Ponies.

I gritted my teeth and strung together a quick chant. the sword lit up with a light spell. as the light danced along the blade, I took a deep sigh. I swung once again for the strange entity. It was a temporary solution. I began to run towards the barrier. but was soon caught off guard once again by the strange entity. saying nothing, I simply placed the sword back in its scabbard.

i closed my eyes and waited for the swift flight into the barrier. i felt myself hitting a large crystal pillar. as i landed next to the others who looked ever so slightly concerned for my well-being, Applejack finally voiced her concern. "what the hay was that?" she looked over to Twilight, who simply shrugged. I simply stood up and stretched, several vertebrae clicking in my back in the process. I began to unceremoniously scratch my beard in an attempt to think. "Twilight, you remember what Celestia told you about this place?" Twilight upon hearing her name and this little question looked as though a great weight had begun to press down on her shoulders. "yes" she stated sounding slightly worried.
"well then, lets go, we don't want to keep Cadence waiting" I chuckled.

I began to head for the castle, Ignoring the worried stares of the Crystal ponies, considering they had not heard of a human before, they simply ran back to their respective homes and hid. "Well, so much for the welcoming committee" i sighed, nearing the castle doors.

chapter 22
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 22

I LIVE!!!!!!! bear in mind... I'm going my what I remember so chances are this will probably go off on a tangent.

"So, this is the crystal kingdom then, huh? kinda.... dull, if you ask me" I said to no-pony in-particular.
Rarity was too engrossed in all the different crystal formations she could see to voice her opinions.
"Hey, RD what are the odds that if Spike was hungry and in greed mode, there wouldn't be much of a kingdom left"
Rainbow laughed at the bad joke, but then she paled.
"I don't want to think about it actually... those 5 years you were gone must have done something to you"
Twilight then turned and looked at me for a moment as I stopped dead still, taking notice of the emotional trauma threatening to resurface. I simply swallowed it and moved on. I finally saw a pink blob resting and struggling to keep up a shield over the kingdom. this must be cadence "Shining, I need you" Shining armor quickly rushed to his wife's aid.
I simply sighed and blocked the depressive thoughts from my mind, letting them feast of the other negative thoughts I've been having recently. "Shining, isn't that the Human I've heard much about? Sir... Dave?"
I quickly shook my head, gathering my wits. "Yes that's me" I scratched the back of my neck nervously.

"You look like you've been through a lot, is there something troubling you?" she asked.
other than why I'm still here, when I could be hunting the other two horsemen? "not really, I was just thinking about the history of this place" I smiled. I looked around as the crystals refracted light into many different areas. It made my head spin thinking that there weren't any corners. "round room... least nothing can hide in the corners" I huffed.

only cadence seemed to pick up on my agitation. As I walked around the room looking out of windows, I couldn't help but notice that the crystal ponies weren't.... Crystally. I was about to voice my thought when Twilight asked before I could.
"the crystal heart had been hidden away a thousand years ago... we need some-pony to find it"
"let me guess, the crystal heart is linked to the hearts of the crystal ponies, without it there is no happiness... only doom and gloom" they all turned to look at me.
"exactly" Cadence nodded.
"Thats fine by me, tell you what, create a fake Crystal heart, I'll stay and patrol the shield, and you six can set up the crystal fare, sound good?" so I've been paying attention to this colourful world and all it holds.,.. sue me
they all nodded. "good" I was about to walk out after the others when the door slowly shut before me.
"So How is my nephew, Mjolner?" the pink alicorn asked, not noticing my fist had fully clenched.
"the kid is fine," I sighed as I unclenched my fist again. "Twilight and Aquilinus are doing the best they can... Mjolner is happy... and thats good enough for me... are we done here?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, in an attempt to stop the tears flowing. she looked at me for a moment before closing her eyes and finally asking "And how does that make you feel?"
there was a loud slam, and then a thud as the door fell off its hinges after being slammed so violently.

I made my way toward the shield and took up a stance. I ran through a basic sword kata, all the while simply throwing out cuss words like no tomorrow. Spike had noticed my sour mood, and decided to finally try and talk to me.
all the others had kept on telling him i was okay, but he stood and watched as I stabbed my sword into the ground, getting my breath back. once again, I pinched the bridge of my nose. trying... and failing to stop the tears.
I felt a clawed hand simply pat my back. "Its okay dude... I'm here" He was trying to re-assure me.
he didn't know what was wrong... "come on man, tell me whats wrong!"
"everything, spike..... everything..." I took a deep breath as I grasped the sword hilt and placed the blade back into the scabbard. "I need to get out of here... this place feels like its emotionally charged"
Spike couldn't say much to that.

"Spike, next time you see Rarity... Just tell her you love her, you hold on and you never let go, Okay? Dont. let. go"
I looked the dragon in the eyes as my tears started to run down my cheeks. He walked away soon after.

I sat down on the nearest rock and simply watched the shield as it slowly started to flicker.

Author's Note

yep, Discorded Humanity is back after a long Hiatus...

I've steered clear of this long enough...
because it hurts… I’m beginning to remember things I wish had never even happened….

everything hurts and I am alone…so fucking alone that its unreal…

Chapter 23
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 23

float

As the shield flickered, I rested my hand on the sword hilt, preparing for an attack. Luckily for me, the shield held its own as the dark cloud began to thrash against it. But clouds weren't supposed to do that. I took a step out through the shield.
"You must be Sombra, am I correct" Sure enough, I was met with a hiss. I simply shrugged my shoulders.
"you, you are not a pony, what are you?" the voice hissed out.
"A filthy carbon based life-form, yourself?" I retorted, much to the Cloud's chargrin.
"ah truth in sarcasm, how I despise it, what ever you are, Your in my way"
"and your in mine" I spat back.
"then we are at an empass... perhaps an exchange of words?"
"Question for question? sure"

"Your heart is tainted, yet you are among these...ponies attempting to bring peace, why?" Sombra asked.
"Because I can, Why do you seek to bring slavery to this place?"
"Because I will, why do you bring a sword to a magic fight?"
"Because I must, why are we asking questions we already know the answers to?"
"Because I know" the answer was not expected. I looked at the strange cloud with a small amount of shock.
"the pain the crystal heart causes us, you and I are affected in ways that are different to others"
I listened for a brief moment, but then drew a blank.

"Pain is good, reminds me that I am alive, now please, crawl back into your hell-hole and stop bothering Equestria"
the spirit blinked. soon after, it came speeding towards me with a small glint of bloodlust in its eyes.
I jumped back through the shield cutting it close.

Sombra began to thrash against the shield even more.
I slowly watched as small fissures and cracks ran along the magic surface.
I simply sat and prayed that the elements would live up to expectations.
I heard music, laughter and all sorts of sounds emanating from the city square.

digging in my heels, I darted towards the location.
but upon my arrival, the fake was revealed. I took it upon myself to perch on the pedestal looking over the worried faces of each crystal pony. some were angry, some were upset, most were sullen faces.
I took a deep breath and began to speak.

"hello, crystal ponies, a lot of you are wondering what a monster like me is doing in a place like this," each element of harmony stopped as they heard the word monster. "simple really, I'm here to Hold Sombra at bay for as long as I can while this Pony here searches all over for the real Crystal Heart... the only problem is, I've been emotionally compromised... thats why I'm going to be at the shield until all this is over, if by some happen stance that I fail and Sombra makes it through, then you better believe in Ms Twilight here" with that, I slid off the pedestal and walked back to my post.

I looked over my shoulder to see a crystal mare looking at me with sad eyes. "I've seen that look before"
I sat down on the same rock that I had left. "what look, the look of a man with nothing left?"
"no... the look of a stallion who would do anything to keep others safe"
"listen, miss if you think I'm some hero... your sorely mistaken" I looked at her, speaking in a harsh tone.
"I do not care, you once thought you were a hero, the pink one told us of your adventures... how you defeated War all those years ago"

it was hard to believe that two years had passed since Khorne had been defeated. two years of peace, pain and loneliness. It was my own fault for trying to go into exile with Pinkie Pie around.
Harder still when I was called for diplomatic missions to the land of the dragons. those were some interesting days.
until my run in with a dragon named garble... by the time that fight was over, I had third degree burns running up one arm, and a dragon tooth necklace in the other.

Garble was lucky I was merciful. they call him gargle now, he's missing his lower jaw.
so ponies and dragons are allies all thanks to me. Two years had passed, and I was beginning to think Sombra was right about my heart being tainted.

I would have to ask Celestia to give me the once over just to make sure.

A shiver went down my spine as I felt something etch its way in. I then heard the sounds of things being melted in acid.

"miss, I think you better run and warn the others... Just in case"
the crystal mare quickly darted off, I drew my sword and simply grinned.

"It's showtime"

Chapter 24
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 24

I stood as a statue, keeping ground in of the shield as it once again failed.
But as Sombra continued his assault the pink shielding, it finally smashed. it shattered as glass and fell as petals.
I lunged forth, using what ever I had at my disposal. I was abruptly thrown across towards the castle, crashing through the walls. Picking myself up, I brushed off small shards of crystal off me, I grabbed a nearby spike of crystal. The touch of it sent pain running down my spine. I looked out towards the dark cloud making its way towards the castle.

I began to fight Sombra with a crystal.

My genius plan worked... just not in the way I hoped.

I was then thrown across the city once again, crashing through more walls than I'd like to count.
"this guy must really hate walls" I got up again, but that's when I heard it. the gasp of shock.
It was Pinkie.

She rushed towards me, asking if I was alright. "I'm fine, just let me get this guy" I muttered. another twinge of pain shot through my body. as if the gods themselves were smiting me, I fell to one knee. "There's something in my back isn't there"
Pinkie nodded, she was about to start pulling them out, "Touch even one of them and I may die," I took a breath.
she could see the pain in my eyes, as if on the inside I'm screaming out in agony. "I need you to get out of here, gonna use these crystals in my back as an advantage"

"Are you crazy?" She asked. I simply looked at her for a moment.
Given the circumstances, I laughed. "you'd think that, after all the things i've been through"
I got to my feet and reached for my sword once again. "Pinkie, tell Rarity to zap me with Lightning magic when I give the signal, you know the signal don't you?" She nodded.

I ran off before she could say anything else.

within minutes, I had caught up to the once-king of the crystal kingdom, Sombra simply roared.
"Why do you persist? why do you not die?"
"What have you got against walls?" I fired back. he simply tried to catch me and throw me again.
"NOW!" i shouted. Lightning struck the crystals embedded in my back, the lightning then passed through my body down through the sword and was then sent in an arc down upon the dark king's head.

My planned worked, but now the hard part.

Getting back up again.

Chapter 25
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 25

Blood simply pooled around me as I tried and failed to push my self back up again.
Sombra looked on and simply chuckled before heading off to the castle.
I felt useless once again.

Pinkie knelt down beside me and simply poked me for a moment. "Get up, now" I looked to her. her eyes glistening with tears.
"I tried that... Think I'll just....lay here" I said, vision failing. then I heard it, the faint sound of air being let out of a ballon.
"the hell was that?" I asked no-one in-particular. I heard the sniffles of the pink party pony. I felt the hot tears hit my exposed back. "Don't cry Pinkie, I'll be fine, It'll take more than this to take me down for good, you know that" She didn't move, just sitting there beside me with a faraway look in her eye.

I felt my self being pulled around slightly as Doctors finally arrived. there was a loud roar that emanated from the vicinity of the castle. I then heard the most cliched noooooo in the known universe.
I gave a week chuckle. Sombra was stopped and everyone lived...

Feeling an intense amount of pain, I finally blacked out.
I found myself floating, watching memories drift by. a disembodied voice soon entered the fray.
"human, your next challenge is near, be prepared" silence fell as I idly drifted on an imaginative river.

I fucking hate these challenges.

all they've brought me was pain.

I had to watch my own son grow up with someone else as his father.
I've had to stay on my own in fear of dragging anypony else down with me.
I've had to kill constantly whenever out on missions.

my soul has finally become tainted enough for me to become the next nightmare.

I knew the risks...
but even so, why do I fight?...

I have yet to find the answers... but they simply lead to more questions...

even more so, one which has bugged me for seven years. why me?

Am I the only one able to stop what ever is going on? the four horsemen of the apocalypse are attacking this world because of reasons unknown and I was chosen to stop it, yet I get removed every so often and have to find a way back.

but right now, my life is in the hands of the gods...

and they won't let me die.

Chapter 28
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 28

As the hoof collided with my face and sent me spiraling to the floor, I simply laid there.
I deserved it, every moment of pain inflicted on me these past few years.
"Pinkie!" Pound shouted before attempting to stop her. Pumpkin laid a hoof in front of him and shook her head.
Picking myself off the floor, I let my shoulders sag. "Where are they, Pinkie?" I asked, while hiding my bloodshot eyes.
She stopped in her tracks before letting out a strangled sob. "did....did the changelings take them?"
I rushed toward her, enveloping her in a hug, after a few seconds, I let go.
Pinkie carried on crying, not because I let go...

Mjolner simply looked at me for a moment, "Dave, Queen Metachondria has them.... but I don't think"
"that i'll get there in time?, thats why I need three others, You included, I'll be going for queen bitch herself!" I growled.
Mjolner accepted this and simply smiled. "I'm coming with you any way," he sighed. "Like it or not"
I shrugged my shoulders and then grunted. "I'll need magic charges... enough to level a castle"
he looked at me in slight worry before running off.

within a few hours I was being watched by some new, small fillies. "Hey mister?" One of them called.
I threw my sword into the air, as it traveled High in the sky, I turned to the small filly "Yes little one?"
"are that legendary monster hunter?" I blinked twice.

It had been a while since the last demonic entity was seen, so naturally I must have become a bedtime story for little kids.
I couldn't help but smile lightly as the sword landed in the ground behind me. "Guess I am"
"Are you gonna beat the changelings?" I simply nodded.
"Fritter get away from him" I heard a shout. I turned to see the voice approaching.

"Fluttershy? You're safe?" she looked at me for a moment before her face contorted into a the stare.
I closed the good eye and was unaffected. "Where did you go?" she asked sternly, a massive contrast to the demure nature I remembered. "Sorry, was away on business"
it was at that moment I felt another hoof collide with my jaw, "Likely story, Dave"
"Not you too, Dash?" I whined slightly.
"well?" I sighed as I placed the sword back in its scabbard before turning to leave.

"It's...... Personal" I sighed as the frown fell, replaced with sadness.
I left the area in search of mjolner, and his friends.

sure enough I stopped at a medical tent but could here the voices of several ponies. "So what should I do?"
It was mjolner "look, Thunder, if he was your REAL father.... he'd have a lot to answer for... a lot to atone for"
there was a sigh. "but it doesn't change the fact that he walked out on you and Twilight, and your biological father was never there.... Kid, I'm sorry okay, I can't talk about this now but maybe when this is over and my wife is safe and sound....just...Give Dave the charges and get them out of there"

I walked on, trying to figure out if I was going to be attacked by two more of my....Former friends.
sure enough, I felt a set of strong legs collide with my back. "Now git up, ya'll had worse" Applejacks voice rung out.
As I brought myself into a sitting position, I was met with magic grabbing the scruff of my cloak, dragging me into another tent. sure enough, all of them were sitting there, looking angry. "Well then dear? out with it, why did you leave?"

I looked at them... sure enough, one was missing. "where is she?"
Rainbow dash threw something at me "Don't change the subject"
I ignored it, only scanning the area once again. "Fine, You want to know why i left?"
they all nodded.

"How can I put this in the most simplest terms," I sighed as my heart dropped.
it was at that point, a red tear ran down my cheek once again. I noticed the worried looks because of it. "relax, It's a side effect" they all blinked.
"Of what, may I ask?" Rarity wondered. I simply shrugged as I traced the scars.
"Doesn't matter... I left because I was broken... The more time I spent around here, the worse I got... then Sombra happened," I took a deep sigh. I then looked at them for a brief moment.

"Do you know what its like, to be pulled away from your home after you had just fought for it, only to be thrown back in several years later to find out that, not only did the mare that you love have your hideous fucking chud of a kid," I grit my teeth "but also that she moved on... what makes it worse is... I still love her, being near her hurts me in more ways than your tiny little minds could ever comprehend... now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rescue them"

They all stood stock still, shocked at my sudden outburst. I then feel a bag dropped at my feet.
"Here, Dave... all the charges you need" Mjolner gave me a sad smile.

"good, you gathered some back up?" the young stallion simply shook his head.
"lets get going then... Your mother will get a little bit impatient"

chapter 29
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 29

As the two of us ran to our destination, I looked to him for a moment. "Okay, kid, listen... I need you to place the charges in your bag along the outside as quickly and as quietly as you can" I gave Mjolner a stern look. he simply nodded.
"then it'll be difficult for there on in". Arriving at a cliff edge, I took a quick look at the hive.

It's strange peculiar biological look, reminding me of something. I racked my mind as to what it was, but then it finally struck a diminished chord. I gritted my teeth, "Son, whatever you do.... Don't get caught" I looked toward the hive and jumped.
the wind making my cloak flow behind me. Upon my landing, I heard the sickening crunch of a carpace being crushed beneath my boots. "one down.....as many as humanly possible to go" I mused to myself. Mjolner soon landed next to me, sliding down the cliff using his magic.
"so, dave, what next?" I turn to him and simply shush.
he makes the zipping motion as we move. slowly, silently....like a tiger stalking its prey.
I take out a small knife and stab one in the neck, throwing the knife into another.
Pulling the hood of my cloak up, I simply walked into the Hive. "Don't follow me" I simply grunt.

"Your not coming back...are you" he glumly states. He sets a charge down at the entrance, watching me disappear into the dark corridors of the Hive then begins his job of setting more charges.

heading deeper into the Hive, I could feel a sort of pull, Thinking nothing of it, I continued my journey.
"Now, If I were a soul sucking, crunchy insectoid creature... where would I keep my victims" I think to myself as I walk around. turned out the place had dim lighting within it. Then I heard it, the soft whimpers, the mild complaints. and a regal voice.
"Do not worry, my little ponies," the voice emanated from a much more, lit, corridor. "I am sure that this will be over soon"
A shrill buzzing voice soon followed "Be quiet, Moon" the voice hissed.
"or what? hmm? You'll continue buzzing? hmm?" another, more refined voice entered the fray.
then I heard the soft thud. "Thats what" the voice sounded pleased with itself.
I then heard the gate open as a set of grunts and another soft thud was heard. "Big Brother!"
"Shining!" Two voices now, speaking almost in unison.

It made my blood boil. Barely noticing the blood dripping from my eye, I assassinated the two inept guards, quite quickly.
hearing the last guard perk up. "what was that?"

Another sickening crunch was heard, then a gargle. "No one.....Hurts my friends"
I stood out of the shadows, the hood still up. the knife was tinted green. the eye still bleeds. Cadence finally sees me. "D-dave?... is that you?" she asks. I simply nod. Her horn glows for a moment. "Your....eye...Its"
"None of your concern"
Twilight looked up at me, seeing the blood trickling down my cheek. "it is now," she grew fierce. "what happened to you?"
"fine" I had to lie "I got crystal shards embedded in my eye, you happy? AlsoImayhavebeentaintedbySombra"
I finally get out quickly. Twilight's eye's widen, but she doesn't say anything.
"How.... Do we get out of here?" she asks, prepping herself for the worst.

"Follow the trail of Breadcrumbs, I mean, Dead Scum" I state bluntly.
"mind the blood on your way... wouldn't want little miss alabaster shit-for-brains to wake up now would we?...fuckers a bitch to was out of fabric, think of what it'll do to fur" I try to make light of the situation before Luna looks at me.
"Sir David, Your orders now...are to find my sister.... and...as you would put it...wipe this fucking cesspit off the map"
finally an order I could get behind.

as she quickly left, following the others, I chuckled lightly. "I never should have left.... I haven't had this much fun in years"
I took off in the opposite direction. before stopping by two changelings "Yo, where's Celestia, about yay big, blinding white... has the sun on her buttcheeks?" they point towards the throne room.
"thanks" with that, I drew my sword.

Within the throne room, Celestia, in all her sunbutt glory, was getting trounced. "I hope you know that this will mean the end of your kind" the dark queen began her tirade of a monologue. "ponykind will be ruled with an iron hoof, all shall kneel before your queen, but instead of a queen you will have a g-" she was cut off as a head smacked her in the face.

"you've got something on your face"

then came my foot "IT WAS PAIN!"

Chapter 30
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Discorded Humanity

Chapter 30

the changeling Queen stumbled backwards as my foot connected with her face. I then landed right in front of Celestia. as I turned to look at her, she noticed the eye dripping red, "David, Your eye" she exclaimed not questioning my appearance.
"no time, follow trail of bodies, should lead to an exit"
"Your not coming?" she sounded worried.
"nope"
Sure enough, I found myself flung across the room as I was enveloped in dark changeling magic. I grunted as I looked up towards the bug. the queen simply laughed the usual evil laugh... "soon your little ponies will be nothing," she began a victory speech, she then etched forward ever so slowly towards Celestia. "but i'll grant you mercy," I could taste the malice in her voice. "I'll end you here and now, so that you won't have to watch their lives be snuffed out"
it was enough to bore a man to tears, that's when I heard the strangled breathing. I willed myself to move.
Not knowing what to do. I felt an old beast rise from its grave. "get away from her you BITCH!" I roared.
the queen turned to look at me. but felt the blade carve a sizable chunk out of her neck. the magic around Celestia's neck
dissipated. "Now sunbutt, get thy royal flank out of here!" I pulled out a detonator, seeing the back end disappear out of sight.

I stood over to the seemingly dead Queen, but then I heard the garbled buzzing laugh. she stood up and gave a grin, her own blood dripping from her mouth. "well.... wasn't expecting that" I soon felt the power of the back legs once again as she bucked me away. "You cannot win" I stood back up again, then felt myself thrown into a wall. three of my ribs had cracked.
she then proceeded to try and gore me with her Jagged horn. she succeeded, I collapsed to the ground for a moment. as she began to cackle in her evil way.
gritting my teeth, I stood once again, pulling my hood down. the eerie blood stream leaking from my eye had stopped finally.
I fixed her with an icy gaze. finally raising my finger, pointed towards her.

"Saa, omae no tsumi o kazoero" I threw the blade up, in a horizontal angle, then kicked it towards her.
I watched as it pinned her against a wall. I then pulled out the detonator, "I'll see you in hell" I threw the last charge at her hooves. she simply looked up in shock.

I ran for the corridor and pressed the trigger mechanism. the resultant explosion shook the valley.

Author's Note

"Count up your sins"

The end
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Discorded Humanity

The end

I walked along the beaten path from the hive, which had now been reduced to rubble and cinders.
I soon felt my footing falter. I favored my left leg more than my right. My right leg now began to simply drag behind me.

It finally began to rain.

it started slowly at first, A light pitter patter upon My head before finally it became a cascade of water.
I sighed as I dragged myself along. resigning myself to the bittersweet release of death, but I was determined to say goodbye one last time.

my movements were impeded by my injuries, but I refused to call out, I then gave a small smile as I finally reached the encampment once again. this time greeted by the four alicorns and his friends whom I had left behind all those years ago.

I raised an arm, slowly. Dropping my sword, being currently used as a makeshift crutch. finally, I pointed my finger at them all "Bang"

I collapsed to the ground and slowly faded from existence.

I had served my purpose.

As the old knight finally fell to the floor, there was a cry. each of the recently released had sped towards The slowly dying man in order to try and revive him. It continued to rain. almost as if the planet itself was shedding its tears for this long forgotten hero.

finally a voice croaked out, "shush...Don't cry, everypony" David croaked out. He raised a hand and placed it upon Pinkie's cheek. "Please... Don't, My heart's broken enough as it is," Twilight looked at me for a moment.
"D-dave? You....you still love me? after..." to say she was shocked was understatement of the year.
"How could I not," He paused to cough. a small mouthful of blood made its way to the floor. "You.... you destroyed me on that fateful day" He tried to take a deep breath, but only drew a short one. "but I forgive you,"

Celestia looked on, she had already come to terms with losing a friend, but it didn't make it any easier. She tried to heal his wounds, but by then it was already too late. "everything's going dark now, just.... have the band play something heavy" his breathing soon slowed. his eyes slowly dulled as he finally stopped breathing.

No more words were spoken. there wasn't anything to be said.
Twilight stood and looked at the body and silently cried. she begged Celestia and Luna to try and bring him back, even though she knew it couldn't be done. but then there was Pinkie.

she sat there, staring eerily into nothingness, her mane had lost some of it's bounce. but then she took a deep breath.
she walked over to twilight and simply held her close.

Pinkie Pie had this strange ability, not only to be incredibly random, but she had moments of profound lucidity.
she finally looked her friend in the eyes. "To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die, Dave knew what he was doing, Twilight, we all knew," the pink mare let out a sad sigh. "if only things were different"

within a few days, the encampment had finally been moved, Ponies and all manner of species were finally returned to their point of origin. Twilight and Mjolner simply watched as things seemed to slow down. The young stallion then simply sighed as he turned to his mother. she was distraught but she remained strong. as she looked out over Canterlot, she could see all the lives the Knight had changed.

She smiled as she began her speech.

within a few minutes it was over. a public affair for the unveiling of a new statue. One she herself decided to move.
the statue of a man who's sole purpose was to protect Equestria.

it had been thirty years since then, Mjolner Thunder Strike Brought his children to the gardens to see the statue.
"Go on kids, Read the plaque"

His daughter looked at the plaque for a moment before turning to her father.
"there is no fate but what we make
here stands the will of equestria

Sir David of Earth, knight of the seven winds.
Unifier of equus"

she looked at her father and then simply smiled. "Grandpa?"
Mjolner nodded.

Author's Note

There’s beauty in everything. Life, Death, harmony, chaos, love, and even hatred. Some people see the beauty of certain things while others only see the beauty in other things.

so... Its finally over...

The hero of the tale is... gone, but a character can never truly die.
they simply get filed away into the hearts and minds of the fans.

Wouldn't have made it this far if you lovely people hadn't taken interest and reminded me of it.

So thank you.

Prologue
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Discorded Humanity

Prologue

The chill in the air cold the young warriors burning heart, the warrior had drawn his twin blades to make his final stand. The sudden rush of adrenaline had caused the warrior to loose focus, swinging his swords wildly at his enemy, missing every time.
“Is that the best you can do” his opponent uttered with a smarmy grin. The warrior had finally caught his enemy off guard, lunging forwards with his blades extended in front of him.

The battle was over.
The warrior had won. The sounds of music played as the credits rolled.
The player had beaten the game, taking a triumphant sip of coffee.

The player wasn’t old, and wasn’t young either.

At twenty years of age, you’d think I’d have something better to do than sit around playing video games and write dodgy fan-fiction about some incredulous children’s programme which had somehow, through the miracle of the internet, gained a whole fan-base dedicated to memes and the like.
In any-case, I was in the closet about it. I was unsure of how people would think.
I’d often dreamed of being in that world, human or otherwise, but in all fairness I knew it wasn’t to be.

How wrong I was.

chapter 12
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 12

There was a long period of time during which nothing much happened.

it had been two months.
i hadnt spoken to anypony for two months.
i had arrived at my home, a small village outside of a small town outside a big city.
the relaxing aroma of pinewood floated through the air.
as i took a walk through the forest.
my family would always ask why, i would give them an answer of "because i feel better when im there"
my time in Equestria, although brought to a painful stop, had changed me.
i was more enviromental.

the people i knew in the city took note of this, as i joined a protest group.
i popped up at most enviromental protests. when the riots began, i simply snuck away.
the world had become, for lack of a better word, chaotic.
i had been gone from the world for two weeks, the only person i told this to were the closest human friends i had.
"so, you were in equestria for two weeks?"
"4 months actually" i sighed, they could clearly see i wanted to be back there.
my phone alarm went off, reminding me to leave the area.
"Got to go, meeting with the group"

as i got up to leave, the voice i heard on that fateful day made itself known.
"you are needed"

i ran through the city and jumped on my harley.
the voice was drowned out by the sounds of the roaring engine.
the cutie mark of the sword and sheild were still there.

i had the design copied to the helmet.

as i sped along the motorway, i felt relaxed.
all i wanted was to go home, and today i would get that chance.

i arrived at my destination, the forest i felt at home in.
i jumped off the bike.
"you are needed, you must prepare"
the voice repeated
"prepare for what?" i asked.

i stepped through the portal, shielding my eyes from the light.

i was finally home.

Finale: See you, Space cowboy
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Discorded Humanity

Finale: See you, Space cowboy

Running through the dark corridors of the Hive, I began to see what was happening. these black creatures, the changlings...
They were feeding off all manner of creatures, not just ponies. but what was left of the vessels did not bare thinking about.

I pressed on, desperate to get away from the soulless husks that were left behind.
"fuck you, giger" I lamented as I ran.

years had passed since then, I've started to drift into obscurity.
I had begun to visit the graves of warriors lost. my body aches.
the only thing I have left now is my life... reduced to an empty husk of blood, sweat and scars.
my left eye now dimmed to a dull grey, covered by black fabric. three thin lines streaked down my face. a parting souvenir from dragons during the great migration, I was simply there as an overseer. I did my duty, protecting the once Idyllic peaceful town of Ponyville.

Ponyville itself, had finally succumbed to its own greed as changelings had taken over.
I was away on my travels around the world at the time. feeling as If I was no-longer needed, I took to drifting.
I found peace. but that peace soon was ripped away from me.

I sat in a small tavern in a nondescript city in the south of zebrica, simply drinking my sorrows away in the hopes that something would happen. this world had a funny way of giving me what I wanted.
I packed my things and made my way back.

I stopped to catch my breath, looking back to see if I was followed. I reached into my satchel, Pulling out a special crystal.
I was pleased with the tests I ran, knowing that the crystal was filled with enough energy... I rammed the crystal into the wall of the hive. I synced it to the detonator, I was smart enough to place many around the outside.

Now it was just a matter of finding the main room.
the one room large enough to house the queen bee.

but sadly this was not the Queen I wanted to meet, this.... Queen Metachondria, had me worried from the beginning.
ever since I read that news article....

Peace between Ponies and changelings?

too good to be true.

Author's Note

You can tell what i'm going to base Pestilence on, cant you....

chapter 27
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Discorded Humanity

chapter 27

A long lonely road, paved in dust, sweat and bitterness was before me. the way the desert seemed to claim lives, Reminded me of all the dark deeds that I had done in a place filled with light.
I knew there wasn't anything I could possibly do to speed up my journey, so I walked.
I sang

I tried to keep what was left of my insanity at bay.
I almost failed.

it was at a point at night where I simply knelt down and placed the sword to my throat.
I drew the blade across my jugular and expect to be brought a swift, yet painful end.
But I was met with a blunt edge. That was when it dawned on me, all those years ago when the sword was blessed.
as long as The princesses are alive, the sword will only cut down evil. I sheathed the sword and carried on my journey.
laughing manically along the way.

Two days pass as I walk. not stopping, always headed in the same direction.
slowly upon the horizon, I see a small encampment.

at least... I thought it was a small encampment.

I headed towards it, tripping over my own feet. I pick myself up and carry on.

As I traveled, I met many of the refugees of equestria, I saw the faded faces of those that had lost their homes.
I stopped and simply knelt down, But then I heard it, a set of voices, three kids, long since grown up.
The voices drew nearer as I simply stayed there, a bloody tear rolling down from my long since dead eye.
"Mjolner, Is it really you?" I uttered a question as the trio approached.

the colt... no... Stallion looked at me for a moment before his face contorted into one of anger.
"Where did you go?" his two friends had stopped and watched in horror as He pulled back a hoof, ready to strike.
"ANSWER ME!" he bellowed. I pulled the hood of my cloak down, and looked up at him, the bloody tear dried on my skin.
his anger faltered, faded away as he took in my battered form.

"I wasn't needed," I then recognized the other two. "Is that...Pound and Pumpkin?" Mjolner simply frowned, he knew I was avoiding a question that would be very painful to answer. He knew I was always protecting things. "yes," he gave a sad sigh.
He then placed a hoof on my shoulder. "I really don't know how to say this..." I saw a tear threaten to burst into existence.
Pumpkin simply walked over and sighed.

As the tear finally made its way down his cheek. I hear what can only be described as laughter in the face of adversity.
I waited for the bouncing.

But it never came. instead I was greeted with a pink hoof to the face.
and those blue eyes that no longer held joy, that poofy mane no longer poofed.

the sight of the Broken party pony.... Broke my heart.