Derpy's Finest Hour 2 - Redemption

by BaconHazard

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3168

A sequel (wether that motherfucker wants it or not) to Derpy's Finest Hour by headless_rainbow.

After the events of Derpy's Finest Hour, a mysterious power enters Derpy's dying, rotting body. Now, with the spell broken, Derpy will take out her anger on those who used her and abused her… well, not really. It's more of a 'I'm going to do this for you' kind of deal. No killing for Derpy!

(Rated Mature for Extreme Gore, Extreme Language, and Minor Sex)

(This is a sequel to a well written fan fiction [with bad taste] by headless_rainbow. Not that it matters. Oh, and most of the hate in this piece of shit is aimed at the OOC ponies in the last story. Enjoy, or not to enjoy!)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-05 21:31:53 UTC

Chapter 1 - Pain and Sadness

It was only a day after Derpy's death and the town was as it always should have been. Birds chirped and sang happily in the sunlight, as there was no retard to destroy their nests. Every animal scurried about without a care in the world, happy that there was no idiot to sit on them. And finally, the ponies of the town. They were overjoyed, more so than they have been in a long time. That dumb ass was gone, and they could finally get on with their lives. No more broken windows to fix. No more buildings to rebuild. Just an all around beautiful day to play about. And that's where we go to the six ponies who helped most of all in the execution of the town retard; Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle.

Of all of the ponies in Ponyville, they were the happiest of all. Rarity was happy because there was no moron to splash mud all over her coat and dresses. Pinkie Pie was happy, ecstatic even, because there was no idiot to ruin her cakes and try to eat Sugar Cube Corner. Applejack was overjoyed because Derpy wasn't there to knock her barn over and eat her apples. Rainbow Dash was excited to know that she- *ahem*- he would be going to work the next day without crashing into that klutz. Fluttershy was joyful because Derpy was no longer there to terrorize her animals. And Twilight Sparkle? She was happiest of all. So happy that she would do a back flip, front flip, and everything in between if she could. She was no longer bound to the financial problems of the town. From now on, her life would be much more easier without that block head in her way.

Where were all of these ponies, you ask? Well, they are right outside of Ponyville having a picnic. And a lovely picnic it was. Fountain drinks of all flavors and statuses were spread out between the six, excluding Spike, of course. He's a fucking prick. All of them were having a wonderful time. Each enjoying their food. Everyone in the group had a plate stacked high with sandwiches, pastries, and the occasional slice of cake. And guess what? Rarity was the first to eat all of hers because shes a pig. The fat bitch deserves to get diabetes and die from food poisoning.

The others sat and stared in amazement as she wolfed down her second plate, snorting and oinking as she went.

"What has gotten into you, Rarity? You seem so hungry all of the sudden." Twilight asked her friend with a hint of genuine concern in her voice.

Rarity took another giant bite and swallowed slowly before retorting, "Are you calling me fat?!"

Rainbow Dash, who was currently sitting right next to the white, chalky bear pig, chuckled at the sprouting argument between the two unicorns. "No offense, Rarity, but you're going to get fat if you keep eating like that."

The most prismatic and girlish of the group, Rainbow Dash loved sports more than anything. His dreams were of joining a team of fliers known as the Wonderbolts. But the walked, flying, and talking gay pride parade was too oblivious to the fact that the group was splitting apart and Spitfire was a heroine addict. Of course, that's what you would expect from his dumb ass. I mean, look at him! His has a cyan body and a rainbow mane. A. Rainbow. Mane. Stupid gay faggot. He doesn't even have enough brains to tell that he isn't a filly!

"Enjoy that cake, Rarity. It's going to be the only chocolate you'll be getting for a while!" Pinkie Pie cracked. The entire group, all except Rarity of course, fell backwards and laughed their guts out.

Pinkie Pie was the most oblivious and excitable of the group. Other than that, there isn't much else to say about her. Except that she needs to lay off the cocaine for a few minutes.

Rarity frowned in response, "I'm sorry if I'm feeling a bit hungry! I just don't know what's coming over me."

Spike, in his all around bad assery and awesomeness, came over to Rarity and slapped her ass with his claw. He leaned towards her and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry... I'll ALWAYS love you..."

She blushed in return and nuzzled Spike in return. "I know you will."

Applejack rolled her eyes and thought back to yesterday. "Hey, what ever happened to that retarded pony we killed yesterday?"

"Celestia took care of her. She wrapped her up with balm and salt, then nailed her the town hall. I'm kind of glad, too. My animals will get along better than ever before without a stupid pony like her to ruin everything." Fluttershy replied.

"Yeah, what a moron she was!" Rarity chortled, "I'm glad she's gone. She couldn't even pleasure me properly." she continued, remembering yesterday when she stuck her ass in Derpy's face.

"What an idiot!" they all said at once, laughing heartily afterwards.

Meanwhile...

In Tartarus, there was a meeting to be had. Monsters and spirits of all shapes and sizes lined up along the charcoal black table that would hold their meeting.

One of the two spirits at the end of the table raised a hammer fashioned from bone and weathered steel and smashed it down on the table in front of him.

"Let's get to the fucking chase!" the gnarly looking beast pointed a bony finger at the other end of the table. "My job is to take care of the souls of the dead, correct?" he nearly shouted over the gasps of the room. They all nodded furiously in response.

"Then why in my name is there an undead pony currently roaming about?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I have almost fucking had it with your shit, Life! One more fucking slip up, and I will take over myself!" he slammed his fist on the table yet again.

"Calm yourself, Death. You fail to realize that I am not the one who did this." the spirit at the other end of the table stated calmly.

"It must have been you! There is no other creature capable of doing that." Death accused.

"You forget, Death. There are only two others I have granted that ability; Celestia and Discord." he said with a smug grin on his face.

"Did I also mention that the pony is currently strewn about the floor of an execution platform, it's innards rotting and stinking up the place?! Not to mention the fact that of all things, the executed was innocent!" the entirety of the room gasped in astonishment, especially Life.

"What do you mean, innocent?"

"The little fucker never hurt a fly! It was a total klutz, but at least it didn't kill anything." Life still didn't look convinced, so Death threw in his last bit of information. "And now, we have an undead walking around! It's still alive, however. That fucking spell that was cast on her is keeping her from dying! She is forever trapped and forced to live, feeling every second of torture as her bones are being rotted away and forgotten." Life's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"What?!" Life regained his composure and smashed his fist onto the table, causing many of the beasts at the table to jump from the sound, "Who did this?!"

"Celestia, definitely. After all, Discord is trapped in his stone encased state. How would he be able to cast the spell?" Death stated as Life nodded in agreement.

"Alright, I believe you. But what do you expect me to do? We must stay here and tend to the dead. How-" he stopped mid sentence as Death smugly grinned at him from across the table. "Oh, yes of course. Pain, Sadness! Come here please." two small goblins rose from their seats at the table and took their places in front of Life.

"You two are to go up to the surface and aid the tortured soul." they both nodded and began to make their way out. "Wait! There is something you must take with you." Life pulled a small, glowing blue bottle from his robe and gave it to Pain. "Use this on the pony. Then, you are to possess it. However, leave it in control. You are to only give it your powers. Understood?" they both nodded furiously and saw their way out of the underworld, aiming to help the tortured pony in need...

Chapter 2 - Revitalization

The pain was absolutely unbearable. Agony stabbed her body like a knife. Every waking moment was that of pure pain and misery for Derpy. Every single organ in her body was out of place, pushed back into her body crudely and sewn shut with a thick string. She was wrapped in balm and salted, making the stinging so much worse. Then, for whatever reason they put her aflame. Then, as one last measure of desperateness, they nailed her to the side of the town hall with rusty nails. Burnt, broken, and nailed to a wall, she desperately waited for the end, but it never came. She couldn't breath, yet she was still alive, constant pain and sorrow since the start...

The two goblins that were sent to help Derpy were well on their way, only stopping to make sure nobody was around. It was nighttime and almost every pony in town was asleep or at home. They scurried about the poorly lit streets, scattering at every little noise that made it's way to their twitching ears. Pain was ahead, scouting the area, as he was the fastest. Sadness was behind, waiting for his brother to return with an 'all clear'. This continued until Pain finally spotted his target, nailed and seeping blood alongside the closest building. Pain called Sadness up to the top, who looked down with pity at Derpy. They fled down alongside one of the drainage pipes that ran alongside the roof of the house they stood on. The moon was up, a full one to be exact. It lit the streets faintly, making it only that much easier for the two beasts.

They both stopped before the undead pony who still lay against the wall. "My, my... they really did a number on you, eh lassie?" Sadness spoke up, his voice seeping with pity and a strong Trottish accent.

"Ja, they did. Now vill you please help me get zis pony down?" Pain spoke up, his Germane roots evident in his voice. He was already at the back hooves of the pony, clawing carefully at the nail embedded deeply into her flesh.

Sadness spoke up yet again as Pain clawed away at the nail, trying to get it out. "Be careful, lad. We don't want it to feel too much more pain." the smaller goblin rolled his eyes.

"Vhy do you think zey call me Pain?" Sadness' annoyed look was all the reply he needed. "Look, just get over here and help me vith zis!" Pain pulled once again, finally managing to pull the nail out. The goblin's eyes rolled back in ecstasy as pure pain entered his body.

"Don't get too excited, boy-o! We still have a job to do." Sadness slowly pulled the metal stake out of the ponies leg, eliciting another shiver of delight from his pain loving counterpart.

Another few minutes later, and they had the pony unwrapped and taken down from the wall. Sadness looked down in disgust, while Pain was nearly shivering with excitement.

"Come on, let us get zis over vith." Pain stuttered as he uncorked the potion and poured it gently into the pony's mouth.

Only seconds after the liquid made contact with her, her entire body began to twitch and blue energy started to funnel out of her mouth. Swirling pools of blue light swam around her in long strings, healing her wounds and slowly revitalizing her...

Derpy didn't know what was going on. She could feel every waking moment of the nails being pulled out of her and the salty balm being peeled off of her rotting body. She still couldn't hear or see anything, but she knew what was happening. She was being taken down! She wanted to jump with joy, happy that her pain was being reduced, but she still couldn't. No matter what anybody could do, she was still going to be dead, and everypony was still going to hate her. But then, she felt something ice cold touch her lips. The wonderful feeling began trailing down into her body, not even making it to her stomach, as it was stuck where her lungs should have been at the moment. She began to feel numb; a feeling she was waiting for since she had been beaten by the ponies she thought were her friends. Her sight began flooding back and her hearing was being restored.

"...I think she be wakin' up." a raspy, childish voice said from her right.

"Ah, zis is vonderful." a smooth, old voice said from her left. "Are you ready, comrade?" the left voice asked the right.

"Yes, lad, I be ready." then, a sudden jolt of energy, as if she were just shocked with a lightning bolt, began coursing through her body. She could feel her organs disintegrating and wasting away, leaving only a body full of blood. The poor pegasus wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Then, it stopped, leaving her feeling empty, yet full somehow.

"Hello? Testing testing, von two three." a strange, yet familiar voice echoed throughout her mind as the pain she had been experiencing ever since the day before stopped suddenly.

'Who is that?! What are you doing in my head?' the pegasus thought in terror as yet another voice entered her thoughts.

"Aye, it worked. Can ye hear us fine, lassie?" the second voice asked in the Trottish voice she had heard before.

'Who are you? Why are you in my head?'

"Ve are here to help you, fraulein. Can you stand?"

Derpy began vigorously trying to stand up, only failing once or twice before managing to maintain her balance on the third try.

"Okay, good. Now, lassie, I'm going to need ye to be calm. Can ye tell me your name?"

'My name is Derpy Doo.' she thought carefully, trying not to lose concentration as she desperately tried to keep her balance.

"Okay, Derpy. The name I go by back in the underworld is Sadness. Ye can call me Sadie, if you like. Only me dearest friends call me that. And that other lad ye be hearin' is Pain. He's not much of a people person, but ye will get used to 'em." Derpy nearly lost her balance as she heard him whisper that in her mind.

"I'm your friend?!" Derpy shouted, a little too loudly. A house nearby flickered to life and yellow light began pouring out of the top window.

"Dammit, you dummkopf! Hide!"

Derpy darted into a nearby bush. She quivered as she lay there with her hooves over her head, looking like she was about to cry at any moment. A shout nearly scared the frightened mare out of her coat.

"Hey Lyra, I'm going out to see who that was. Save my spot, would you?" Derpy nearly soiled herself right then and there.

'What do I do, what do I do?!' she thought frantically as the sound of hoofsteps got slowly closer.

Ha... let me handle zis, Derpy." the frightened pegasus suddenly lost all control of her body.

'What's happening to me?!' she yelped as her body jerked around in one fluid motion and crouched back down in the bush.

Shhh, lassie. It just be good ol' Pain doing what 'e does best. Just let 'im do his work. There be nothin' ye can do."

She could hear the sound of hooves clacking as the pony came closer. Then, suddenly, her body jerked up from her hiding spot and spun around. Right in front of her was her old friend, Bon Bon. Her cream colored coat was matted slightly, probably from sleeping on it. And her mane was ruffled. Bon Bon stared in horror at the now alive Derpy, who was standing right in front of her, staring back.

"Ly-" a vine of dark energy shot forward before she could finish. It sliced diagonally along her neck. When it seemed like nothing happened, Derpy sighed inwardly in relief. But then, Bon Bon's head slowly began to slide off, falling to the ground with a sickening thud soon after. Her body quickly followed. Blood spurted from her neck, covering the ground in the red liquid.

'WHAT DID YOU DO?!' Derpy shouted at the spirits, shocked at what she had just seen.

'I did vhat I had to. Do not feel sad for ze pony. She deserves no sympathy.' all control returned to Derpy's body, only leaving her to fall to the ground, crumpled and crying silently. Blood slowly pooled around the dead body, reaching her gray hooves and staining them a sickly read. "Now, do you vant to be discovered? Take care of the body!"

'I... I can't...' Derpy managed as she sobbed uncontrollably, but silently, at the scene before her.

"For Death's sake, vould you just-" Sadness cut him off.

"I'll do it, lad." Derpy suddenly lost control of her body again, her face contorting into one of impossible sadness. A bright green trail of energy left her body and entered Bon Bon's. And before she even knew it, Bon Bon's body vanished without a trace. "The deed be done." Sadness echoed from inside her mind as Derpy's body was put into her control again.

'But... I never wanted to hurt anypony...' she thought quietly.

"Come on, fraulein! They raped you, stuffed you inside a dirty wrapping, and nailed you to a vall. Vhat keeps you from vanting to kill zese sorry excuses for ponies." Pain echoed in disbelief. Derpy's head nodded in agreement.

'They did do that... but I still don't want to hurt them. I don't wanna be a murderer.' she sniffled as she began walking away from the mess.

Vhy are you so innocent? So merciful? You should be vanting to kill or maim zhem! the unbelieving pain spirit echoed inside her head.

'But I still don't want to... I don't wanna be a bad pony.' she hung her head low as she continued to walk under the moonlight.

"By jove, lassie... yer goin' to make me cry." an audible sniff came was heard among the silence in her mind.

"Alright, fine. If you don't vant to do zhe killing, zhen allow me to. Sadness vill clean zhe mess afterwards. Does zat sound good, fraulein?"

'I would like that very much! Thank you!' Derpy thought happily in response.

"Zis is going to be a long night, isn't it?" Pain grumbled miserably.

Ye have no idea."