Chapters Bringing humans to Equestria
Don't push the blue buttons!!
The Doctor had been traveling with Derpy for about 7 months now, and in that time they had defeated Daleks, escaped from cyberponies, saved Equestria from an alien plauge that threatened to wipe out all of ponykind, and even visited Princess Luna during her thousand year banishment. Now they decided it was time for a well deserved break. The Doctor was being extra charitable today by allowing Derpy to choose their next destination.
"Alright Derpy, where to next?" asked the Doctor.
"I don't know Doctor." Derpy replied. "There's so many places I want to see!"
"Well hurry up and choose! We haven't got all day." said the Doctor. "I mean, we do have all day, but...nevermind. Just let me know when you've decided." With that he went up to the main console and began to idly mess with the controls.
Derpy smiled and began to think. She had always wanted to see Ponyville on the day of its founding, maybe they could go there. She had also heard many stories about her great grandmother. According to her mother, not only was Derpy's great grandma a wonderbolt, but the personal guard to Princess Celestia. Then she thought about Trottingham. They had an annual celebration for the return of Princess Luna, and she had missed the last one.
Suddenly her stomach rumbled. Thinking was hard, and it was making her hungry. She suddenly began to think of all the different muffins she wanted to eat. Blueberry, cranberry, and chocolate chip muffins sounded heavenly right now! Heck maybe she'd get some banana muffins, and share them with the Doctor. He loved bananas. That's when it hit her! The Grand Galloping Gala! They always served the best kind of food, including muffins! She could get the Doctor to take her there, get them in with the psychic paper, and then feast on muffins to her hearts content!
"Doctor! I've decided where I want to go!" Derpy called out.
The Doctor appeared from behind the console and looked expectantly at her.
"I want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala!" she said.
The Doctors face fell.
"Oh." he said simply.
"What's wrong?" Derpy asked.
"Oh nothing, it's just I thought you might have wanted to go somewhere a bit more...exciting."
"The Gala is very exciting! It has to be. Only the highest class of ponies get to go."
"Derpy, from my experience high class usually means snore fest. Still if that's where you want to go, then I suppose we should go."
The Doctor began to press the buttons on the console. Derpy didn't like watching him when he was piloting. He pressed them so fast and trying to figure out what buttons did what hurt her head. So she usually just stared off into space and listened to the TARDIS noises until the room stopped shaking, which usually signified that they landed.
"There we go, I've set the controls to take us to the very first Gala." The Doctor said once he had finished.
Derpy was confused. "Why the first one?" she asked.
"Simple," the Doctor explained. "It's the first one ever, which usually means the person throwing the party is trying harder to make it fun in order to get the event to stick. If no one likes their first time, why would they ever come back again?"
"Oh."
"Now stay here. I've got to go get my suit. If we're going to the gala, I've got to become a respectable pony. I might as well look the part. Come along Derpy. We've got to get ready."
"Oh no Doctor. I don't like fancy clothes. I'm just gonna go like I am." Derpy said.
"Suit yourself. Or don't. I'm going to go get ready. While I'm gone done touch those buttons over there!" The Doctor pointed to some vague spot on the console and then wandered off to where ever it was he kept his clothes.
Derpy nodded and then began to daydream about all the different muffins she would soon be eating. Oatmeal muffins, cranberry muffins, maybe even a simple corn muffin! Right now she was craving blueberry in particular. Oh goodness, blueberry muffins! Now that the thought had entered her head, it refused to leave her. Blueberry muffins danced and swam in front of her eyes, teasing her with their delectable flavor. She began to reach in front of her in a futile attempt to catch the imaginary sweets. As her eyes caught something blue on the console, she rushed towards it and crashed into the blue buttons that were on the console.
The impact had mostly snapped her out of her fantasy, but the sudden sirens and violent shaking of the TARDIS had completely snapped her awake. The TARDIS was out of control! If it weren't for the fact that she was a pegasus, she would have been rolling around banging against the various walls and stairs of the room. Just as she was thanking Celestia for being born a pegasus, the not so lucky Doctor came crashing through.
"Derpy!" he yelled. "What happened?! What did you do?"
"I-I don't know," Derpy yelled back, "I think I pressed some blue buttons, but that's it!"
The Doctor managed to grab onto the console and flip a few switches. This cause the TARDIS to stop thrashing about, but the sirens still rang. The Doctor then looked up at Derpy.
"You did WHAT?!" The Doctor yelled after steadying himself. "You pressed the blue buttons?! Didn't I tell you before I left not to press those buttons?! Why don't any of my companions listen to me?!"
"No, you said not to press those buttons and then pointed to some random spot on the console!" Derpy angrily replied. "What do those buttons do anyways?"
The Doctor looked at the scanner and then preceded to press more controls in a panic.
"This is bad. This is very very bad! The TARDIS seems to have momentarily burst through the void and into another dimension! According to the scanner, we're back in Equestria, but something has followed us through!"
Derpy floated back down to the floor and began to look worried.
"Wh-what do you mean 'followed us through'?"
"Whatever it is that followed us, it's outside the TARDIS. We've landed in the middle of the Everfree forest. Well, come along Derpy. Let's go see what it is!"
Derpy knew better than to argue with the Doctor in these types of moments. The Doctor grabbed his sonic screwdriver, and ran for the doors, Derpy following closely behind.
Outside the TARDIS, the Doctor and Derpy found themselves in the middle of a clearing. Birds were chirping and you could hear wildlife going about it's business. It would have been a very serene place, perhaps suitable for a relaxing picnic, were it not for the smoking crater two feet away from them.
The Doctor looked into the clearing and froze. His face started to pale as he stared at the unconcious creature in the hole.
"Oh no," he whispered quietly. "Not them. Not here."
"D-Doctor?" Derpy said. "Wh-what is it? What's wrong?"
The Doctor looked at Derpy quickly before looking back at the creature.
"I've seen them before. There were loads of them back where I came from. I thought I'd never see them again, but it looks like I was wrong."
"What are they?" Derpy asked.
This time the Doctor looked directly into her eyes before answering.
"Humans."
Bringing humans to Equestria
Derpy was confused. She had never heard of a human before. She never paid much attention in school, but the way the Doctor said human worried her. They sounded dangerous, and she always paid attention when the teacher was talking about dangerous animals.
"I don't understand." she said. "What's a human? How did it get here?"
"I'll explain later," the Doctor replied. "For now get him into the TARDIS. I need to run some tests."
The Doctor grabbed one part of the human and started dragging him towards the TARDIS. Derpy grabbed the top part of the human and began to help the Doctor, wishing the entire time that she was a unicorn. They took it to an area of the TARDIS Derpy had never seen before and laid it down on a bed. The room had just one bed, one entrance, and a window with a one way mirror for observation.
"There we are." the Doctor said when they were done. They walked outside and the Doctor locked the door. As Derpy watched, the Doctor pressed some buttons on a panel just underneath the one way mirror. The lights inside the room turned red and something began to hum.
"Doctor? What is that room?" Derpy asked, "It isn't hurting the human is it?"
"Of course not Derpy!" the Doctor exclaimed. "This is a medical room. This equipment will scan him and treat him if he has any injuries. I've also set it to keep him unconscious until I can figure out what to do next. Now let's get back to the main console room."
They began to walk towards the console room, the Doctor being unnaturally silent. Derpy had a million questions she wanted to ask, and wanted to ask them all at once and was frustrated that she couldn't. She had tried that once, and it got her sent to the principals office because the teacher thought she was swearing. Derpy knew she had to ask something or she would explode. So she decided to ask the first thing that came to mind.
"Doctor?" she began, "How can you tell if the human is a male?"
"I used to live with the humans." the Doctor said. "It would be very embarrassing if I couldn't tell between male and female."
"Oh."
Derpy nodded and continued to follow...wait what? Derpy paused in the hallway under the realization of what the Doctor just said. He used to live with the humans? Now Derpy had even more questions to ask and it was making her head spin. After looking up and realizing the Doctor hadn't notice her stop, Derpy hurried along after him. Eventually they made it to the console room, and the Doctor began to look over the various scanners and controls.
"So..." Derpy began after a few minutes of silence, "When you say you used to live with them..."
The Doctor looked up and sighed.
"I suppose I should tell you." He adjusted his neck tie and began to tell his story. "I wasn't always a pony. In fact, I didn't always live in this universe."
Two sentences in and Derpy was already confused. What did he mean he wasn't always a pony? What else could he be? She knew he was something called a time-lord, but she just thought that was a different kind of pony. She let the Doctor continue to speak.
"I told you how that creature came from a different dimension. Well, I used to live in another dimension. One without pegasi, earth ponies, or unicorns. In fact, I used to look like that creature in the medical room."
"But then...how did you get here?" Derpy asked.
"I fell through a crack in the void." the Doctor replied. "It was a small thing. Barely noticeable, yet big enough to suck the TARDIS into it. Normally, anything that gets sent into the void is lost forever, but the TARDIS has a failsafe in case that happens. It locks onto the nearest crack in the void, disregarding the one it fell into, and goes through it."
Derpy nodded, but she only understood part of what the Doctor was actually saying. She was still having trouble accepting that the Doctor hadn't always been a pony.
"I had fallen unconscious during the transition, as the TARDIS was thrashing about so much. When I had come to, I was a pony. I made my way through the doors, and that's when I met you Derpy."
Derpy nodded in rememberance. She flashed back to the day she had met the Doctor. She was taking one of her usual strolls through the forest and came across a blue box. Just as she flew up to it, the doors flew open and out popped the Doctor.
"Doctor," said Derpy, "Could the human have fallen through this 'void' thingy like you?"
"No, impossible." the Doctor said. "Those cracks are so far apart and usually so small that nothing gets sucked in, unless the crack is forced open. The one I fell through was an anomaly."
"So how did the human get here?" Derpy asked.
"Well, remember those blue buttons?" the Doctor said. Derpy nodded. "Those were controls that allow the TARDIS to travel between worlds. However, the only way to safely cross between dimensions is to have some sort of anchor on the departing side in order to pull you back when you want to go home. Usually that means another TARDIS but..." the Doctor paused and for a brief moment Derpy saw a flicker of sadness pass over his eyes. "Anyways," he continued, "Trying to cross without an anchor is like trying to fight the tide."
Derpy was glad for the analogy, as she was having trouble keeping up with the Doctors explanation. She often felt that the Doctor sometimes forgot that not everypony was as smart as he was.
The Doctor continued, "When you pressed those buttons, the TARDIS tried to cross dimensions. However not only did we have no anchor, we also had no destination. So the TARDIS picked a spot at random and tried to jump. However the 'tide' of the void quickly shoved us back, but not before we made a small impact."
"What do you mean?" Derpy said, suddenly feeling uneasy. "What kind of impact?"
"For the briefest of moments," The Doctor explained, "The TARDIS landed in the other dimension. But it wasn't complete. Most of the TARDIS had materialized in that world before the void sucked us back to Equestria. But the TARDIS is very powerful, and cracked the void on that side. If I'm correct, and I'm always correct, the crack started there and led here. Since the crack was forced, it began exhibiting a black hole effect. Anything that was close by when the TARDIS landed, was brought back to Equestria with us. It just so happened to be that human."
"So, we caused him to follow us?" Derpy asked. The Doctor nodded and looked up at the scanner. He seemed to be thinking about whatever the scanner was showing him. Then he looked back to Derpy.
"It's worse Derpy. It's much worse."
"How could it be worse?"
"The crack was forced open. Normally a forced open crack will close once the machine doing the forcing has left. But the TARDIS isn't an ordinary machine. It's the most powerful machine in the cosmos, probably the multiverse. The hole it left open isn't going to close. In fact it's getting bigger, and it's probably going to keep sucking in more and more things."
Derpy was silent for a moment before replying, "So...what you're saying is..."
"If we can't find a way to close that hole, Equestria is going to become overrun with humans very soon."
Bringing humans to Equestria
Explaining things to the human
"But Doctor," Derpy said, trying to remain calm, "You used to live with these humans. How bad could they be?"
The Doctor quickly glanced at the scanner before answering her. "Well not all of them are bad. Many of them are brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. But humanity has a dark side, as do many species. Unfortunately, humanity tends to let it out more often than others."
Suddenly something on the console dinged. The Doctor looked at the noise and suddenly brightened up. "Oh how about that? The medical bay is done patching up our bi-pedal visitor! He'll be waking up in a minute or two."
Derpy blinked in confusion. "Bi what?"
"Bi-pedal. They walk on two legs."
"Oh."
The Doctor quickly left the room and headed down to the medical area with Derpy quickly following behind. They soon arrived at the room, but the Doctor stopped outside the door and wouldn't let Derpy in. The human inside was beginning to stir. The Doctor walked over to the panel next to the door and pressed a few buttons. A small ding sounded and a microphone extended in front of them. The Doctor then began to speak into it.
"Just relax. You're fine. We found you passed out and carried you in here."
"Doctor, aren't you in there talking to him," Derpy asked.
The Doctor covered the microphone. "Humans are a bit unpredictable, and they don't particularly like situations where they don't know what's going on. He might react violently. I'm doing this to try to keep him calm before we tell him what's going on."
The human inside looked around, blinked, and then rubbed his eyes. He looked around the room again, his eyes going wider the more he observed. Suddenly he was up on his feet, his chest heaving as he began to panic.
"What the hell?!" he yelled. "Where the hell am I?!"
The Doctor spoke again. "Just relax. You're fine. My assistant and I found you outside our ship, and we took you in to patch you up."
"Just who the hell are you?! Why can't I see you?!"
"I'm the Doctor, and before you ask, it's just The Doctor."
"How can I be sure you aren't going to hurt me?"
Derpy decided to speak this time. "Oh don't be silly. Why would we want to hurt you?"
The human paused for a second. "I don't know. But if you really don't want to hurt me, then show yourselves."
The Doctor moved Derpy away from the mic. "We will, but you need to understand something first. You are a long way from home. I can explain, but you have to promise you won't freak out and you'll listen to everything I tell you calmly."
"I'm in a room I've never seen before and I'm pretty sure the door is locked so I have no way of getting out. I really don't think I have much choice but to be calm."
The Doctor smiled. "Great! We'll be on our way in then! Oh but before we go in, I have to ask you. What's your name?"
"Josh."
"Nice to meet you Josh."
"Well I can't say the same. You've told me your name Doctor, what about your assistant? The one with the cute voice."
Derpy blushed a bit before answering, "My name is Derpy."
Josh looked puzzled. "...Derpy."
"We can save introductions for a proper greeting. Time for us to meet face to face," The Doctor said.
The Doctor turned off the microphone. Derpy stopped the Doctor before he began to walk towards the door. "Wait, don't you think we should explain what's happened first Doctor?"
"Oh we'll be fine. From my experience humans deal better with news when there is a face behind the voice telling them the news."
"If you say so."
"I do. Now let's go. No need to keep Josh waiting."
The Doctor walked over to the door and opened it. He and Derpy walked inside, and Josh stared at them with a confused expression. Finally he said, "Haha. Very funny Doctor. Now where are you really? Am I supposed to walk out the door?"
"No. I'm right here," the Doctor replied.
Joshs jaw dropped and he sat down on the bed. "Wh-... Di-Did that horse just talk?!"
"Hey!" Derpy said. "That's offensive! I'm a pony!"
"Oh yeah, cause that's totally different!" Josh snapped back. "What the hell is going on here?! Where am I, and why are there talking ponies!"
The Doctor walked up to him and placed a hoof on Josh's leg. "Just relax. I'll explain everything. Now listen carefully, cause I'm only going to explain this once. Understand?"
Josh nodded, and the Doctor walked back next to Derpy. "Derpy," he said to her. "You know where the kitchen is. Can you go make some muffins while I explain things here?"
Derpy smiled at the prospect of muffins. "Sure thing Doctor! What kind should I make?"
"Surprise me."
Derpy nodded happily and flew out of the room. The Doctor turned back to Josh and cleared his throat before launching into his explanation.
"First thing you need to know is that the universe you come from isn't the only one out there. There are an infinite number of universes covering all the different possibilities the world could have taken. Yours is just a drop in the ocean."
Josh had to stop him here. "Wait. So you're saying I'm in a different universe? One with talking ponies?"
"Yes."
Josh started to rub his temples. "Agh. Either that or I'm currently sleeping. Or drunk...or both."
The Doctor smiled a bit before continuing. "Anyways. The next thing you need to know is that I'm a time traveler. Not just any time traveler. The time traveler."
Josh stopped rubbing his temples and looked up. "Ok now I know this is a drunken dream. Time travel? Seriously? That's impossible. Next you'll be telling me you aren't actually a pony."
"Well if you want to get technical, I'm not."
"What?"
"I only look like a pony. I'm what's known as a time lord."
"Ok seriously? Even if I buy the fact that I'm in another universe, which I don't, now I'm supposed to believe you're a time lord? That sounds like something I'd see in a comic book."
"Whether or not you believe me is entirely up to you. As I said, I'm only going to explain this once, so I'll be moving on now."
Josh resumed rubbing his temples. "Go on."
"Thank you. Now the ship we are in now is called the TARDIS. It's my time machine, space ship and home. TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space."
"Get to the part where you explain how I got here."
The Doctor frowned for a bit. He hated being interrupted. "Fine. Derpy and I were traveling through the time vortex where a problem occurred. We strayed a bit to close to a rift, which is a crack in time and space. The TARDIS is a very powerful machine and accidentally fell through. The rift leads to other worlds and can only be crossed by extremely powerful machinery."
The Doctor decided to omit the part where this was Derpy's fault. It would make things easier in the long run.
Josh looked up at the Doctor and asked, "What does that have to do with me?"
"Well, I was able to quickly get us back through. Normally a quick cross like that shouldn't have any sort of consequence. Unfortunately, the TARDIS had already partially landed, and it took a bit more power than normal to come back through. Unfortunately that caused the rift to open a bit wider than normal and it began to suck whatever was close by. That just happened to be you."
Josh seems to be taking all this very well , the Doctor thought. Then again you never know with humans. He might be trying to convince himself he's drunk.
Josh was actually accepting all this with unnatural complacency. He was never one to get too worked up over things, and had long since decided that this wasn't a dream or a drunken illusion. "So," he finally said, "Can you take me back?"
The Doctor began to look uncomfortable. "Unfortunately not yet," he said. "It takes an enormous amount of power to get through and once we do, I would need to be able to get back. That would require having an extremely powerful anchor, and I don't have one available. I am working on it however, but for now you're going to have to stay in the TARDIS."
Josh looked puzzled again, "What?" he said, "Why can't I stay with any other humans?"
"The thing is..."
"Humans don't exist here do they?"
"No they don't. You are in the land of Equestria, where ponies of all shapes, sizes and colors live. They have earth ponies, which is what I resemble, pegasi, which is what Derpy is, and unicorns, which can do magic. Bit of an unfair advantage if you ask me."
"Well then I guess I have no choice but to stay here then."
"Exactly! You know, for a human, you are very sharp."
Josh decided not to comment until he figured out whether or not that was a compliment.
"So," The Doctor said, "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the kitchen where we can have those muffins."
With that, the Doctor then left the room. Josh stood up and followed suit. After everything he had heard he only had one thought on his mind. This was going to be a very weird time.
Bringing humans to Equestria
2 months after first human contact
The Doctor slammed on the controls of the TARDIS. "Derpy! Josh! Hurry up!" he yelled to his companions. Josh and Derpy quickly ran through the doors and the Doctor closed them. The ship began it's familiar humming and soon the TARDIS was once again sailing through the time vortex.
Josh was trying to catch his breath while processing what just happened. "Th-those were cyber p-ponies?!" he huffed while bent over. Derpy, who had long since gotten used to the insane amount of running that came with being the Doctor's companion, simply nodded her head. The Doctor, content that the TARDIS was going to get to it's destination smoothly, walked over and put a hoof on Josh's shoulder. "Yeah, they tend to pop up every now and again, but Derpy and I always manage to send them back into the ground." he said with a grin.
Josh, having finally stopped breathing heavily, looked at the Doctor like he was crazy. "We blew them up!" he yelled. As the events started to catch up with him, he started laughing. "We blew them up! I can't believe it." He walked over to a nearby stool and sat down. He looked at the Doctor and shook his head. "I can't believe that in 2 months, I've been time traveling, space traveling, and fought a bunch of robot ponies." He then looked over at Derpy, "And you guys do this all the time?"
Derpy frowned, "Well it's not like we go looking for trouble," she said. "Most of the time the Doctor takes us to the wrong destination and trouble happens to be there."
It was the Doctor's turn to frown. "It's not like I do it on purpose," he said indignantly, "It's not my fault the TARDIS won't listen to me sometimes. She can be very temperamental sometimes."
Josh put his head in his hands. "You know," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "It almost makes it worth getting stranded in this world." He looked up at the Doctor and brightened up. "But at least you're working on a way to get me back Doctor."
Suddenly the Doctor paled. He began to shuffle nervously around. "Uh, y-yeah," he stammered "I-I've almost got it figured out too."
Josh leapt to his feet. "YOU FORGOT?!" he yelled at the Doctor, "HOW COULD YOU FORGET?!"
"W-well, I was going to work on it, I promise," the Doctor quickly replied, "but things happened, and there was stuff, and shenanigans."
Josh was about to yell at the Doctor some more, but he was interrupted by a ding on the console. The Doctor quickly ran to the console and looked at the screen. "It seems we've landed. Not quite where we were when we left. A bit closer to Ponyville actually."
Derpy flew next to the Doctor and looked at the console. After all the words and figures began to hurt her head she simply decided to ask the Doctor. "So Doctor," she asked, "When are we?"
"Approximately two months after we found Josh, and-" he stopped and looked a bit closer at the screen. "No that can't be right," he murmured after a while, "That can't be right at all."
Josh did not like the sound of that. He ran over to where the Doctor was. "What? What is it?" he demanded.
"Well, according to this, the rift has been very active," the Doctor replied, "It would appear that more and more humans have been appearing in and around Ponyville."
Josh looked stunned. "So you're saying that there are other humans here?"
"It would appear that way, yes."
Derpy was puzzled. "But Doctor," she said, "Why is that a shock? You said that the rift would bring humans here unless we closed it."
"Yes, but when the rift first appeared, I ran some scans on it, and did some calculations. It shouldn't have been this active. According to the scanner, there are enough humans to form a small village."
The Doctor stood away from the scanner and ran over to the doors. "Ok," he said "We need to go around and gather information. We need to find out when exactly humans began appearing in larger numbers. That will go a long way helping us figure this out. We'll meet back here in an hour."
Derpy nodded and began to walk over to the Doctor, but Josh stayed where he was. "Actually Doctor," he said, "If it's all the same to you, I'm going to be staying with the humans in Ponyville."
The Doctor, who was about to open the doors, stopped and looked over at Josh. "What? Why?" he asked, shocked.
"Well, it was fun traveling with you and all, but it's way too dangerous for my taste. I can't even count how many times I almost died."
"Well that's just-"
"Plus," Josh continued, "I miss human interaction. You guys are awesome, but if I can hang out with some people for a change, then I'm going to."
The Doctor was silent for a second before finally nodding. "Well," he said, "If that's what you want to do then I can't stop you. Now let's go."
With that, the Doctor opened the doors and led Derpy and Josh out towards Ponyville. After finding their way through the Everfree, the company parted ways, with Josh saying goodbye to Derpy and the Doctor. The Doctor and Derpy promised to meet back at the entrance of the Everfree in an hour.
It was very surreal to see humans working at the shops in Ponyville. They were washing windows, serving at resturants, and even performing janitor duties. The Doctor went around trying to gather information on when they all started showing up, but he was having very little luck. Most of the ponies seemed to have not been paying attention to the events happening and just sort of accepted the humans as part of society now.
After an hour of no leads, he went back to the Everfree entrance to find Derpy waiting or him. "I hope you had better luck than I, Derpy." he said to her.
"Oh yes I did," Derpy responded happily. "Twilight and I had a very long talk. She knew a lot about these humans!"
The Doctor stopped in his tracks. "Wait. You mean to tell me you only spoke to one pony?" He asked disbelievingly.
Derpy nodded. "Yup!"
The Doctor shook his head. "Well, what did you find out?"
"Well, it turns out that the humans started appearing in bulk about a month ago. But the first human, not counting Josh, was actually only met by one pony. Fluttershy."
"What? Only Fluttershy met him? How can you know for sure?"
"Well Twilight said that Fluttershy became very quiet and withdrawn. Even more so than usual. Apparently when Twilight asked what was wrong, Fluttershy wouldn't really speak loud enough for her to hear. All she could ever make out was a name. Steve, or Jeeves or something. Twilight thinks something traumatizing happened to Fluttershy."
The Doctor nodded. He couldn't know for sure, but he knew humans. He had a pretty good idea of what might have happened to Fluttershy. He made a mental note to check up on her once the humans were all back where they belonged.
Derpy continued, "Anyways, Twilight said that once the humans started showing up, they started causing quite a panic. Eventually, everypony calmed down and the humans were sent to a small village a few miles from here. Some of them wanted to stay but only a few of them could."
The Doctor started to get frustrated. "It might just be me, but this seems like a rather big event. So how is it that I wasn't able to get any of this information from the other ponies?"
"Well it seems like the other ponies don't like talking about the humans cause some of them were a bit...creepy."
"Creepy? How so?"
"Twilight says that a few of them tried to...do things to the ponies here. Apparently some of them already knew about Equestria and were very...enthusiastic about being in Ponyville."
The Doctor started to walk into the Everfree towards where the TARDIS was. "Well I can see why they would be creeped-" The Doctor then realized all of what Derpy had said. "Wait, did you say they knew about Equestria?"
"Yes."
The Doctor broke into a run towards the TARDIS. How could this be? he thought to himself. My universe had no mention of these creatures anywhere! The Doctor was so concentrated that he didn't notice a white circle slowly form a few feet away from him. After Derpy flew in front of him and made him stop did he realize what was happening.
"Derpy," he shouted, "Stand back! We've got another human coming through!"
Derpy flew behind that Doctor as the white hole grew bigger in size and a dark figure was seen starting to emerge from it. The figure came through the hole and fell onto the ground, his suit ripped in various places. The figure groaned and stood up. He looked around for a bit and finally noticed the Doctor and Derpy.
"So this is where all those people have been disappearing to," he said.
The Doctor walked up to him and reached out a hoof. "Hello there." he said. "I'm the Doctor. Who might you be?"
"I'm Tiger Woods."
The Doctor blinked. "The famous golfer?"
"Yes."
"The Tiger Woods?"
"Yes."
Derpy walked up next to the Doctor and turned to him. "Doctor who is he? Do you know him?"
"Well, not personally, no, but I've heard of him," The Doctor replied before turning back to Tiger. "That's not important. What is important is this. Mr. Woods, come with me. I've been trying to figure out a way to stop humans from coming here to this world, and send all the humans already here back home."
With that, the Doctor and Derpy began walking to the TARDIS again. Tiger Woods followed them, seeing as he had nothing better to do.
"So, Mr. Woods, can you tell me what you were doing when you got sucked through the rift? Where were you?"
"Well, I was on my way to a press conference to apologize for my most recent affair. The conference was located in Boise, Idaho. I was about 20 minutes away when suddenly, I was surrounded by a white light, and brought here."
They had reached the TARDIS when the Doctor realized something. "Wait, you said another affair?"
Tiger Woods nodded. "That's right. I think this was number 10. That the media knows about anyways."
"How many have you had?"
Tiger Woods had to think about that one for a second. Finally he replied, "I'm not entirely sure." When the Doctor looked at him incredulously, he shrugged. "What can I say? White women are crazy. Actually, now that I think about it, do you know where I can get another suit? If I'm gonna be here for a while, I'm gonna need one that isn't so torn up."
The Doctor opened up the doors to the TARDIS. "Wait here," he said. "I'll go get you one." With that he went into the TARDIS and shut the doors, leaving Derpy alone with Tiger Woods.
"You know," Derpy said, "If you want to get your suit fixed up, you should go to Rarity's. She's really good at fixing clothes, and usually she doesn't charge for repairs."
Tiger Woods looked at her and considered it. "Well first of all, I don't know where this 'Rarity' is, and second, the Doctor said he would get me one."
Suddenly Derpy looked really serious. "You don't want any of the Doctor's clothes, trust me. He has the strangest things. One time, I found this really big multi-colored coat." She shuddered. "It was hideous."
"Well, that's an odd thing to have, but I'm sure it doesn't represent-"
"Not to mention all those bow ties he has."
"...bow ties?"
"Yeah, every time I tell him to get rid of them he just shakes his head and says that bow ties are cool."
Tiger Woods was silent for a second, contemplating what horrors the Doctor might offer to him. Finally, he made his decision.
"So where does this Rarity live?"
Later, at Rarity's Boutique
"Hello! Welcome to Rarity's Boutique where everything is...oh. A human. What can I do for you?"
Tiger Woods walked up to the counter. Already he was feeling better about this decision. Sure he didn't know much about what ponies would consider fashionable, but it had to be better than a bow tie.
"Hi. My name is Tiger Woods. I heard you can repair suits?"
"Oh of course I can." Thank goodness. She almost thought he was one of the crazy humans. The last time one walked into the store, he had requested some very un-ladylike things from her. "Right this way."
Tiger Woods followed Rarity to a room. He had to admit, he was very impressed with some of the things he saw. If he was a pony, he might just make this his permanent clothes store. That's why he was very shocked that this place seemed very empty. Surely a place as nice and fashionable should be extremely busy.
Rarity told Tiger to strip down to his tank top and underwear, while she took his measurements. True, he was only here for a repair and not a new suit, but you never knew. He might come back for one, and it was always good to be prepared.
After about 10 minutes of measuring, Tiger just had to break the silence.
"So," he said not so casually, "If you don't mind my asking, why is this place so quiet today? Slow day?"
Rarity gave a light chuckle and shook her head. "No, nothing like that. It's actually usually like this."
"Huh. I figured a place like this would have loads of customers."
Rarity walked over to her sewing table and began the repair. "I know! Honestly, it's just because nopony really knows who I am. If I was as well known as Hoity Toity, or Photo Finish, my business would be the biggest in Equestria!"
Tiger, not knowing any of the names she just said, nodded his head and said, "I'll say."
"Well now I get to ask you a question. Any particular reason you need this suit?"
"I guess I don't really need it anymore, but I was on my way to a press conference so I could-"
He was cut off as Rarity was suddenly right in front of his face, her eyes wide.
"You mean to tell me you're famous?!" she said in shock.
Tiger Woods, too startled by this sudden enthusiasm to speak, simply nodded his head.
"Oh my! You simply must tell me all about it!"
"To be honest, I was moderately famous until about a year ago. That's when I discovered the secret to becoming a very well known person."
Rarity walked over to her desk, pulled out a pen and paper with her magic, and sat down. "Please tell me!" she said.
Tiger Woods thought for a moment and decided that, if anyone deserved fame, it was her. "Fine," he said while walking over to her. "I'll teach you the secrets of becoming famous. It's all about one, very simple word."
Rarity was writing furiously, which was weird, considering how little Tiger had said. "And what word is that?" she asked breathlessly.
"Controversy."
Meanwhile, back at the TARDIS
The Doctor came out of the TARDIS holding a brown coat and a multicolored, extremely long scarf. After looking around for a while, and not seeing Tiger he merely shrugged and walked back in. Derpy quickly followed behind.
"So," he said to Derpy while firing up the scanner, "What do we know?"
"I don't know." Derpy said happily. "You tell me."
"I'm glad you asked," The Doctor replied, "First, we know that the rift is expanding."
knock knock knock knock
"Second, we know that people are showing up in greater numbers, and at a greater frequency."
knock knock knock knock
"Third, we know that these humans are not from my old universe as we originally thought. They are from a world that knows about Equestria. To what extent is still unknown."
knock knock knock knock
"Derpy can you please stop that knocking? It's very distracting."
Derpy looked at the Doctor in confusion. "Doctor, that's not me. I thought it was you."
The knocking continued as the Doctor quickly realized that it was coming from the TARDIS front doors.
"What? Who could possibly be knocking? We're in the middle of a forest. And it's the TARDIS! No one ever knocks on the TARDIS!"
Quickly the Doctor rushed over to the doors and opened them to reveal, yet another human. This one, however, seemed very excited and very out of breath.
"Oh. My. God." The strange human said, breathlessly. "No. Way."
The Doctor was confused, which was quite an achievement. "Uh...may I help you?"
The human looked down at the Doctor and said he last thing the Doctor ever expected.
"You're the Doctor, aren't you?!"
