The Everfree Forest didn’t seem very different to me. Granted, it was like those jungle scenes in the old movies and looked faker than Victor’s climbing of the wall on ‘Wolverine’. It wasn’t until I remembered that most weather was controlled by pegasi that I realised that it was out of place in the world. I imagined I would feel right at home here. Chrysalis was enjoying her newfound freedom, causing me to suffer my newfound fear of heights. If she was going to do loops in the air with me on her back, the bitch needed seatbelts.

She led me to the entrance into her hive. Funnily enough, it was near the edge of the forest on the other side from Equestria’s border. Griffin territory loomed over the entrance like a foreshadowing event. We were quick to enter in order to avoid yet another conflict. I expected to go further in for a few yards before being met with open Swiss hooves. No such luck. We were ambushed just a few feet in. Smaller versions of Chrysalis surrounded us. They spoke in their own language, which Chrysalis replied in. They seemed primarily focused on her at first, but then I felt eyes and spears on me.

“Chrysalis…if you’re backing out of our deal now, I swear to whatever god you pray to, you’ll meet him soon.” I said. Chrysalis didn’t respond, but a seemingly rushed and frenzied clacking and buzzing followed my comment and the spears were removed.

“Sorry, my children are very protective of me, especially since I was captured.” I heard her say. I took a step forward and felt something hard hit my head.

“Ow! Damn, I can’t see a thing down here. I thought creatures with magic horns could create light.” I complained.

“Changelings have never had the need. Come on, I’ll carry you further in. The crystals give off a natural light. It’s rather dim compared to the daylight, but it’s probably brighter than that cell.” I hopped up on her back once more, the chitin still warm from where I had been before. More of that bug talk protruded from her lips and I heard conversation throughout the group.

“Chatty bunch, aren’t you?” I said.

Chrysalis chuckled. “Sorry about that. It’s just that our language is faster, and they’re eager to find out what happened.” she said.

“Well make sure to leave out the part where that guard molested you.” I said. The chattering stopped amongst the changelings and so did the Queen’s stride.

“They understand you, you know.” the chattering picked up again, and it was louder than before. Chrysalis was frantically trying to calm them down, or so I assumed, it was all white noise to me. I sighed and just slouched forward, stretching my arms out.

“This is going to get real dull, real fast.” I muttered.

I was wrong. Lime green crystals lit up the caverns showing what looked like a desert city, but made of dirt and rock. There was an exceptionally large crystal that gave off most of the glow that illuminated the city. I was led to an arena where Chrysalis explained the situation.

“Sorry, I thought they’d take my word for it, but my children want to see you in action. You’ll be fighting the Champion. He’s one of my… bulkier kids. A real pain to hatch–.”

“I don’t need your egg-laying details, Chrysalis, I just need to know what I’m up against. Is he strong?”

“Yes, but he’s slow. He’s a heavy warrior. You’ll be allowed to use your blades, though I don’t think they’ll be much good.” she left me with that.

“Wait, what?! Why, what’s he using?” She didn’t respond, but I got my answer as the gate opposite me opened and a freaking giant emerged. If Changelings were ants, this big bastard was a beetle.

“Ah, shit!” I said, drawing my blades from my back. Looking again, if I tried to stab this guy, it’d be like thrusting a butterknife against a tank. I took a look around the arena to see if I could use anything to my advantage. Short of flaming torches, nothing. I needed to know more about what was going to happen.

“Hey, Chrysalis! What’s the deal, do I beat him or kill him?” I asked, addressing the queen who looked the part in that great big observation box with the royal throne, likely made out of their own shit.

“The Changelings won’t accept you until you kill one of them. Your rank will be assigned to you based upon how well you do.” she replied.

“What?! I didn’t help you break free just to join your ranks. You’re supposed to help me, not the other way around.”

“I said I’d give you my changelings to do with as you pleased. But the only way they’ll follow you is if you defeat one of them and join their ranks. We’re like family and we look out for each other. You become part of the family, then they’ll help you.” she replied.

“And I assume if I get a low rank for this, I won’t be able to lead higher ranked changelings?”

“Correct.” I growled at the prospect.

“I should just kill you instead.” I muttered under my breath. While conversing with chrysalis, I failed to notice the tank approaching. He was already half way through his swing when I noticed him. Fortunately, he was slow. I jumped between his hooves and crawled around to behind him. Slowly, he lifted his massive horn to reveal a big groove in the dirt.

“Hang on, is this guy gonna try to kill me too?” I shouted. Chrysalis ducked her head under the fence out of sight. Chicken shit.

“If he kills me… I won’t be able to kill Celestia.” With this realisation fixed in my head, I brought all my focus on the massive bug. By now, he’d finished turning around to face me. I wasn’t going to let some slow ass bug take away my revenge. I saw no such future.

“Ah, so that’s it.” I said as I figured out how to beat him. How to kill him was still a mystery, but to stop him at least was enough to give me the time needed to find out. I waited where I was, prepared for him to attack. He reared his head and slowly, but surely brought it downward. I jumped to the side. It surprised me to see that he’d compensated for my last dodge. He was learning. I took this time to get all up in his face, literally. I sat on his snout, curling my legs around his mouth to keep my balance.

“Sorry big boy, but your brothers and sisters made the rules, not me. I tightened my grip on both of my blades and thrust them forward. There was a squelching sound, followed by an earsplitting screech from the changeling. I leaped off of him and ran to the other side of the arena to look over my results.

There lay the changeling, squirming and writhing in pain as he clawed… clopped at his eyes. I chuckled to myself before realising something. I lifted my arms and looked upon the blade.

“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Changeling Eye juices!” I threw my blades to the ground and began dragging my arms along the dirt to try and get the stuff off. It was really disgusting. I took a look at Chrysalis’ reaction and saw she was subconsciously squinting her eyes as she looked at her ‘big boy’. I observed the Changeling’s shape and form. I noticed subtle differences in his physiology compared to the other Changelings. He was bigger, yes, but he was also narrower. This left his chitin too small to cover his entire body. There were fleshy parts that were likely vulnerable.

I swallowed my disgust at the eye juice and grabbed one of the blades. I crept closer to the changeling who had stopped moving for some reason. I didn’t dare think he was dead. Chrysalis would have stated so by now. I was close enough to do what I planned and as I brought the blade to the soft bit, I was kicked in the side. The air was knocked out of me as I was sent flying away. I coughed up blood at one end of the arena while struggling to breathe. I struggled to my feet and put my head between my legs, trying to get the air flowing through again. I made sure to keep my eyes focused on the bug to ensure I wasn’t surprised again. As the air returned to me, I went into another coughing fit. Heavy breathing and raspy heaves overtook me and I felt like I was dying.

“Damn that mare.” I said as I recalled being kicked in the chest by Applejack. Ever since then I’d been cursed with this terrible cough. I felt like I was General Grievous, only weaker.

It wasn’t until I took a moment to relax that I noticed something. The blade that I’d dropped when I was knocked back had been lit on fire by the stray flames of the torches. A smug little idea crept into my head as I gripped the other blade, cleared the hilt of the bug juice and placed it against the torch. It ignited almost instantly. I couldn’t help but grin as I entertained the idea in my head. I waited a minute for the blade itself to grow red hot. Then I bolted towards the giant changeling. With a quick and powerful slash, his horn was cut off. More screeching followed suit and I continued on with the Changeling’s limbs, cutting them down one by one until it was just a head and body. Blood seeped into a ring around us and I brought the blade down to it. The Changelings’ blood was also flammable. A ring of fire surrounded the tank and myself, closing us in.

“Sorry mate, but I won’t let anyone stand in my way. I’ve got too much hate to let it go.” I said. I raised the blade up and drove it down into the changeling’s skull. There was a soft sigh before everything in him darkened and he died. I’d won.

Kicking dirt over part of the ring of fire, I made a pathway for myself to exit. I stood victorious amongst my victim’s brothers and sisters. That damnable language was all they spoke as a ruckus grew from whatever it was they were saying. Chrysalis made a point to shut them up as she screeched louder than them all.

“I take it they’re not happy about having to honour their part of the bargain?” I asked her. She shook her head in disappointment. “Well tough titties, bitches!” I called out to them all. I could have sworn I heard Chrysalis stifle a snort of laughter.

“I won fair and square. And if you renege on your promise, then your word means less than shit. In which case, I’d be wondering if my family would actually help me if I were you.” The Changelings remained silent as they looked at each other for an answer.

“Regardless, the decision is mine to make now that you have done what was asked of you. And the rank I give you is non-negotiable.” she stated the last part mainly to her ‘spoiled’ children, but I imagined it included me as well. She had better just hope I received a rank I felt would be useful to my goal.

“The rank I bestow upon you is…” Fucking suspense! “King!”

There was a pregnant pause from all of us. I rubbed the wax out of my ears to make sure I heard her properly.

“Say again?” I asked.

“King.” she replied.

“King?”

“King.”

I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what it was I wanted to say. My mouth just began to systematically open and close until I crossed my arms and then covered it with my hand.

“Is that right?” I asked. Chrysalis smiled and nodded her head at me. “Did you just force an engagement on me or something?” I asked.

“I don’t know what that is, but I don’t think so.” she replied. I didn’t want to take the time to explain the term engagement to her, as it had a number of meanings.

“So… King, huh?”

“Yep! We’ll need to do something though, so as to force them to obey you.” she said. Curiosity took hold of me and I followed her out of the arena. “But before we do anything, I’d like to introduce you to one of my spies. I just hope you’ll give her a chance.” she said. It seemed as though Chrysalis was leading me to a private room with no windows and only one way in or out.

“Well if she’s on our side, I guess I could take a minute to hear you out. Besides, you sound as if it’s going to surprise me. I highly doubt it. It’s actually Twilight, isn’t it?” I asked, chuckling.

“No, somepony much closer to Princess Celestia.” she replied. As I stepped into the room, I grew confused.

“Wait, who’s closer to Celestia than Twilight?” I asked.

“I am.” a voice replied. It was a voice I’d never heard before. But as light somehow magically grew in this room we were in, I looked upon the owner of the voice and my jaw dropped. There, sitting before me was a tall Alicorn figure with cyan eyes and a dark blue pelt. Her mane and tail were like tears in the night sky. It flowed slowly, but lightly like a flag in the wind. She wore black regal attire, consisting of her horse shoes, her chest plate and her diadem. Her chest plate carried a crescent moon on it, facing downward.

“You?”

Author's Note

For those of you who don't get the picture; the woman is Miranda Hart. She has her own show called Miranda and she has a habit of breaking the fourth wall like Pinkie Pie and talking to the audience. Whenever something bad happens, she looks at the crowd in disbelief at what she's either doing or experiencing. If you watch the show, you might get why I put this up here.