That Sinking Feeling

by Jet Howitzer

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1510

This tale makes no sense. Character List: DarkWing, Morgrad, Terry Crews, Augustus ‘Cole Train’ Cole, Quill, Spitfire, Scorpion, David Tennant’s Head, Thomas the Tank Engine, Gandalf the Grey

Spitfire and her coltfriend explore each other's bodies in the home of one of their friends.

Gather round, readers. Gather round and bask in the glory of this achievement of writing talent. For too long we have suffered at the hands of clop that takes itself seriously, and is lacking in true merit. For too long there has been a lack of real quality clop. I have taken it upon myself to remedy this situation the only way I know how. By writing.

Written by Jet Howitzer (That's me!), proofread by no one, and ideas provided by the combined efforts of:
DarkWing
Twilightclopple
And my own mind.

Character List:
DarkWing
Morgrad
Terry Crews
Augustus ‘Cole Train’ Cole
Quill
Spitfire
Scorpion
David Tennant’s Head
Thomas the Tank Engine
Gandalf the Grey

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-14 06:42:06 UTC

Adjectives and Nouns

The crab hummed softly as he scuttled away from the small home.  His pockets were just a bit more full than they were before, and he had just a few more beings that loved him.  The crab paused for just a moment as he passed a garbage can.  A moment of rummaging later, and several small items were in the crab’s pincers.

Our tale begins like many others, with a mare and a stallion.  Unlike some of those other stories, though, ours takes place in a home that doesn’t belong to either the mare, or the stallion.  It, in fact, belongs to an entity whose very name strikes fear into the hearts of any being who hears it.  This being is, of course Cole Train.

Augustus Cole was a massive hulk of a man, standing taller than any other person he’d ever met.  His experiences in playing Thrashball, and killing Locust has lent him a musclebound body, and he works daily to maintain it.  However, he isn’t the brain dead hulk that many expect.  He is, in fact, quite well educated, and he’s capable of maintaining an intellectual conversation for hours on end.

We join our resident celebrity as he sits across from his good friend.  Jonathan, as he is named, smiles as he begins setting up his half of the game that the two of them are about to engage in.  His methodical placement of his pieces is sure to give him an advantage, assuming that Augustus doesn’t figure it out.  Cole is, likewise, hoping that his placement is just as deceptive.

“So, Cole, how will we decide who gets the first move?”

“I figure the we could make the call like we do every time.  By tossing a...”

“... Thong?”

“Yes, Quill, it’s a thong.  I know that you have a thing for lingerie, so I decided that I’d spice things up a bit.”  Spitfire batted her eyes at the grey stallion, a seductive smile painted on her face.  “And I already know that you’re the one who’s going to take it off of me.”  Quill smiled, and blushed, as he approached the scantily clad mare.  Despite seeing her in her form fitting Wonderbolts costume, and in her most natural state, there was something... special about seeing her in lingerie.

Quill’s eyes roamed along her body as he grew closer, and the mare couldn’t help but flaunt what she had.  Her toned muscles rippled softly beneath her silken fur, small quivers running along her frame in anticipation of what was to come.  When he finally reached the mare Quill gently guided his mouth to hers, and the two began dueling in their mouths.  The battle lasted for several long moments, and when they finally broke apart to breathe a single strand of saliva linked the two of them for a few seconds before it snapped.

Gently guiding the mare to the bed, Quill found himself feeling unusually giddy.  This wasn’t the first time they were going to have sex, but it was probably the first time that Spitfire had really entertained one of his kinks.  Sure, there was that one time with the roleplaying, but that lasted for only a few minutes before they just started fucking like rabbits.

Unwilling to let this moment pass him by, Quill began running his hooves along the mare’s body, gently teasing her, and, at the same time, feeling her up.  He knew that she enjoyed this kind of attention, so he made sure to make it last for her.  Bringing his head to the mare’s single piece of attire, Quill grasped the thong in his teeth, making sure to take his time.  With agonizing slowness he began pulling the skimpy garment off the mare, revealing her already moist sex.

Once the thong was discarded, Quill began lowering his head to the mare’s crescent once again.  A single long lick ran along her feminine gates, and a low groan escaped the mare.  Unwilling to stop at just a single lick, the stallion went at it with a vengeance.

“Ah, by the Creator, Quill...  If you keep that up I’ll cum...”

“... Before we really get started...”  Jonathan paused for a moment, thinking.  “How about we make things a bit more interesting?”

Cole chuckled softly.  “What do you have in mind?”

“Whoever loses has to do whatever the winner wants for one full day.”

“I dunno, man, I don’t think you can handle what the Cole Train would have you do.”

“I’m certain that I can handle it.  And I don’t think...”

“... That you can only handle one orgasm.  In fact, I know from experience that you like having more than one.”  Quill quickly resumed his oral assault, his tongue gently running along the mare’s slit.  His magical manipulations, meanwhile, began gently tickling the base of Spitfire’s wings, only adding to her mounting excitement.

Spitfire tried to writhe out of Quill’s grasp, but she knew that she wasn’t going to get away.  She also knew that she didn’t really want to get away.  She was also acutely aware of the fact that she’d get her revenge on Quill for this one.  A small tremor ran through her frame at one of Quill’s actions, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.  And by the Creator would he enjoy it.

When the stallion relented in his assault for just a moment, Spitfire sprang into action, quickly flipping the pair over, and putting Quill at a marked disadvantage.  Sure, he could use his magic to escape, but that wasn’t the point of this exercise.  The mare knew just where to tease the stallion in order to get the best reaction, and so she did just that.  Her wings gently teased at Quill’s sides, eliciting a squirm from the stallion.  Continuing her inexorable trek down along Quill’s body, Spitfire planted small kisses along his frame.

Soon she was level with Quill’s rigid stallionhood, his gentle musk driving Spitfire just a bit closer to the edge.  She planted a single quick kiss on the tip of his member, and then she gave it a long, slow, lick, running from base to tip.  She knew that this was just the beginning for Quill, and so she started increasing the pace of her tongue, drawing immense satisfaction from the pleasured groans escaping the stallion.  Soon she took the tip into her mouth, her tongue running quick circles around the head.

With a clear popping sound she pulled off the tip, and then she moved her hooves to Quill’s tool, running them sensually along his length.  She continued to tease the stallion for a few more agonizingly pleasurable minutes before she moved herself above the stallion, her moist honeypot positioned just above Quill’s throbbing erection.

As Quill laid beside Spitfire, his breath coming in rapid gasps, he couldn’t keep the smile from his face.  However, it vanished when he abruptly sat up, his gaze flicking to the wall of the bedroom.  “Spitfire, do...  Do you hear something?”  The mare’s ears twitched to and fro for a moment, and then she sat up as well, her wing moving to embrace the stallion.

As she was about to answer the faint sound that they both heard became just a bit more clear.

“PPOOOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!  BUILDING KICK!”

A deafening crash came from the wall, as well as a massive cloud of dust.  Both ponies on the bed were reduced to coughing fits.  As the cloud cleared, and they could see what had smashed through the wall they were amazed to see the pinnacle of masculine perfection.  His sweat streaked pecs shimmered in the sunlight, and his polished dome sent out dazzling rays of manly light.  “NO STORY IS COMPLETE WITHOUT OLD SPICE BODYWASH!”

With a flex of his awesome muscles twin beams of magnificent body wash shot from him, streaking towards the two ponies on the bed.  Upon contact, both ponies found their bodies smelling like a combination of the Alps, the Himalayas, and Kilimanjaro.  “OLD SPICE ODOR BLOCKER IS TOO POWERFUL TO BE IN JUST ONE STORY!”  With that, he turned to face the vast beautiful world behind him.

“PPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  DIMENSION KICK!!!!!!!!!!”

And with that, he kicked the thin air, and a massive black hole opened, and he stepped through.

Adverbs and Homonyms: The End

Adverbs and Homonyms: The End

Celestia slowly closed the immense tome, her gaze quickly roaming over the faces of her adoring subjects.  The small circle of colts and fillies looked at her with facial expressions ranging from utter confusion to abject disgust, and everything between the two.  In fact, now that she was looking, Celestia noted with a frown that there was not a single smile, save for that of a single mudcrab sitting at the far back of the room.

“‘S’a good’un ‘Lestia.  I right ‘ppreciate yer time.  These ‘ere’ yout’s were in need o’ a good learnin’.”  He slowly floated off the floor, making for the solid ceiling.  “Nex’ time, though, a bit more convolut’d plot.  Too easy t’ follow.”