How to Truly Smoke up Yo Crazy-Ass Breakfast

by twow443

Rating: mature
Tags: Fluttershy, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Angel, Rarity
Length: 1479

The real way to enjoy food in the morning.

After a night, Fluttershy's ready for breakfast, bitches.

Somethan new to eat, yo.

(Rated Mature for language.)

(And as always, enjoy.)

Published 2013-03-05 02:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-05 02:20:01 UTC

Time to Fuckin' Eat

How tha fuck To Truly Smoke up Yo Crazy-Ass Breakfast
by
twow443

“Ahh, dat was tha dopest chill I've had up in days!” Fluttershy sighed as her big-ass booty stretched her muthafuckin ass out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch glanced outta her window. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was expectin ta peep a rainstorm yo, but there was no cloudz up in tha sky n' tha sun was shinin brightly.

“Oh, I wonder if tha storm was scheduled fo' tomorrow.. n' you KNOWS dat it was todizzle.” Fluttershy tapped her head, thankin. “Well, maybe Raritizzle will still wanna git all up in tha market todizzle.” Biatch was interrupted by a funky-ass bangin rumbling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch giggled n' rubbed her stomach. “Well, I mo' betta go smoke somethang ta git locked n loaded fo' tha day.”

Da yellow pegasus rolled outta bed, n' quickly went tha fuck into her bathroom ta prepare fo' tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Shiiit, dis aint no joke fo' realz. After bustin a gangbangin' few minutes ta comb her mane, tail n' brush her teeth, she busted her way downstairs.

Surprisingly, when she reached her livin room her big-ass booty saw dat all of her muthafuckas was already fed n' had water. “Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck fed all of mah muthafuckas?” Fluttershy murmured as dat dunkadelic hoe trotted tha fuck into tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. “Oh! Dope mornin Angel!”

Da bunny up in question had just set up a place fo' Fluttershy ta sit down all up in tha table. “Did yo dirty ass feed everyone?” Fluttershy axed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch smiled as tha lil bunny vigorously nodded his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “Well give props ta yo thugged-out ass. Now, time fo' breakfast.”

As tha mare started ta strutt over ta her fridge, Angel jumped on her n' tugged on her mane. “What's wrong?” Fluttershy axed his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude scowled n' pointed all up in tha spot dat schmoooove muthafucka had busted fo' his baller. “Did yo dirty ass make breakfast fo' me also?” Biatch axed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude nodded n' tugged on her mane again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Nonplussed, Fluttershy moved over ta tha seat n' sat down, lookin all up in tha table. There was a big-ass glass of water, a table mat up in front of her n' a gangbangin' fork n' knife up in front of her muthafuckin ass. Angel had also spread some condiments around on tha table, like fuckin peanut butter, regular butter n' jam. There was also a tall glass of gin n juice there also, which Fluttershy took a sip of.

Biatch had only been chillin there fo' bout three minutes before Angel came hoppin back, holdin a plate wit another plate on top of dat shit. “What do you have fo' me Angel?” Fluttershy wondered.

Angel gave tha plate ta Fluttershy n' motioned fo' her ta put it down on tha table fo' realz. As her dope ass did dat tha lil bunny hopped onto tha table yo. Dude gave a mock bow then proceeded ta take tha plate off.

Fluttershy gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sittin before her was a round object busted of dough. It had a hole up in tha middle, as if somethang was supposed ta fit inside or if somethang was left out. It gave off a pleasant aroma dat permeated tha room. Fluttershy had heard of dis before yo, but was strugglin ta remember tha name of dat shit.

“Angel..” Fluttershy fuckin started. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. “This isn't one of them...bagels I've heard about, is it?” Angel grinned n' nodded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “Well, guess I'll smoke up. Raritizzle is ghon be here soon n' I don't wanna keep her waiting.” Angel hopped off tha table ta go smoke his own breakfast.

Fluttershy lifted tha bagel n' took a tentatizzle bite fo' realz. As dat thugged-out biiiatch chewed tha warm dough, dat thugged-out biiiatch could taste a hint of garlic. “So, I guess dat these is garlic bagels.” dat dunkadelic hoe thought ta her muthafuckin ass. “But I wonder....” her big-ass booty holla'd as dat dunkadelic hoe took another look around tha table.

Fluttershy reached over n' picked up her knife. Concentratin, she done cooked up a vertical slice n' then a horizizzletal slice across tha bagel, separatin it tha fuck into four parts. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then laid tha knife down n' picked up tha piece dat dat freaky freaky biatch had already bitten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch continued ta smoke dat piece, enjoyin tha taste of garlic on her tongue.

After dat freaky freaky biatch had consumed dat piece, she reached over fo' tha regular butter. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch set tha butter down next ta tha bagel n' picked up her knife again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. After wipin tha knife off wit a napkin, her dope ass dug it tha fuck into tha butter n' removed some. Carefully, her big-ass booty spread it up onto tha second piece of tha bagel, bustin shizzle ta cover every last muthafuckin part of tha surface. Once dat freaky freaky biatch had finished, her big-ass booty set tha knife down by tha butter n' lifted tha bagel piece.

Not hesitatin dis time, dat dunkadelic hoe took a funky-ass bigger bite outta tha bagel piece yo. Her eyes widened up in awe at what tha fuck dat biiiiatch was tokin. Da butter n' tha garlic combined up in such a way dat it smoked as if dat biiiiatch was smokin butter dat was busted outta garlic. Fluttershy swallowed n' gave a lil' small-ass aiiight sigh. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then resumed ta smokin tha bagel piece.

Once dat piece was finished, Fluttershy wiped her grill n' rotated tha plate so dat another bagel piece was up in front of her muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then reached over ta grab a spoon n' dip it tha fuck into tha jar of raspberry jam dat was close by. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch busted shizzle ta git a thugged-out decent spoonful n' plopped it onto tha bagel piece. Flippin tha spoon over, she methodically spread tha jam up across tha bagel. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then put tha spoon down n' picked up tha bagel piece, openin her grill ta take a funky-ass bite.

Fluttershy grimaced yo, but continued ta chew tha bagel piece. Da raspberry jam didn't mix well wit tha garlic flavorin dat tha bagel had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! After her big-ass booty swallowed, she pushed tha bagel piece away from her up in disgust.

Finally, she reached fo' tha peanut butter n' her knife again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch quickly cleaned off tha knife n' dipped it tha fuck into tha peanut butter fo' realz. After takin some up dat thugged-out biiiatch carefully spread it onto tha bagel piece n' prepared ta take her bite of dat shit.

Fluttershy was surprised when tha bagel piece smoked pretty good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Even though tha garlic flavorin was there, tha peanut butter seemed ta cancel up tha taste of tha garlic. Eagerly, tha yellow pegasus ate tha rest of tha bagel piece.

Finally, dat biiiiatch was done eatin. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch started ta clean up when dat freaky freaky biatch heard a knock at her front door. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch rose up n' trotted over ta tha door, openin it ta reveal a white unicorn mare.

“Fluttershy, dear!” Raritizzle holla'd, pullin her playa tha fuck into a hug. “How tha fuck is you bustin?”

“Quite well, give props ta yo thugged-out ass.” Fluttershy holla'd ta her muthafuckin ass.

“Well then, is you locked n loaded ta go?” Her playa axed.

Fluttershy stared at Raritizzle fo' a moment, then smiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “Of course yo, but I gots a question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Would you like ta come inside fo' a funky-ass bagel?”

Author's Note

Thank you DashieShy. This was great!