REGRET

I stood atop the castle on the highest balcony, looking out over the horizon.  Just behind me, I heard Twilight screaming.

“Jordan WAIT!” she cried

“It’s Okay.” I responded, “I can’t hurt anybody anymore, I’ll be dead soon enough.  Goodbye Twilight.”

I ran as fast as I could to the edge of the balcony, and leaped off with all of my might.  Time slowed down and all that I could hear were Twilight’s cries of sadness.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” her voice echoed in my mind as time sped back up and I plummeted to the ground.  This is it… this is the end.

Detroit, Michigan, Two Months Earlier…

My name is Jordan Scheffler; I am a decent man with an angry mind.  I lived out my days working a steady job, making a decent salary, and usually doing whatever came to mind in my free time.  I lived in a very damaged house with no heat or water and I hated it, but I always felt obligated to stay there as a way to remember my long gone parents.  Being the grouchy, hateful, dick that I was; I have a list of dislikes that’s much bigger than my list of likes, and on the top of that dislikes list, is that goddamn pony show.  It just baffled me how people could be so idiotic as to enjoy some kids show where a bunch of talking horses learn the value of friendship, it’s ridiculous.  I myself prefer to play video games, practice my guitar, go to a boxing club, or just read a book.  I saw that show as way for the rich to get on the good side of the poor, but I wasn’t buying it.

That all began to change one day when I started to argue with one of those freaks.

“You’re a grown man who watches a little girl show, and you’re calling me weird?”

“Hey, it’s just a show, quit being an asshole!”

“I’ll leave you alone wen you all grow the fuck up.”

He left in anger and I bought something sweet to reward myself.  As I sat down having my coffee and muffin, another man came over to me.  He was wearing a grey suit with a blue tie and brown, Italian loafers.  He was carrying a big, silver briefcase.  He asked if he could sit down and I didn’t see why not so I let him.

“I saw what happened between you and that man.” He said.

“Don’t tell me you’re one of them too.” I replied.

“No.” he laughed “I hate them just as much as you do, my name’s Harold Benson and I’ve come to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

“I’m listening.”

“Your task is simple,” he put three pictures on the table, each of them one of the characters from My Little Pony “These three characters are royal governors of Equestria and the Crystal Empire.  This may sound crazy, but this entire universe is as real as ours.”

“Huh, sure it is.”

“Of course, but it’s not how it’s portrayed on TV, these characters, Cilestia, Luna, and Cadence, have gone mad with power, they’ve become malevolent dictators who rule over their subjects with an iron fist.  If we remove them from the picture, then we can free the Equestrians and find a new home for our dying race.”

“I don’t think you understood me, I don’t believe you.”

“I thought you wouldn’t.  Just come over to my office at 6:00, here’s my card.” He gave me a small business card with an address on it.  “I’ll have all the proof and equipment you’ll need there.”

“You never even told me what I have to do.” I said

“Ah yes, I can’t believe I forgot, I trust you spent some time in the marines?”

“Yes.” I agreed suspiciously. “How do you know that?”

“I needed a man that would be the perfect fit for this job.  I saw your Googled people who hate My Little Pony and had a military background.  Once I hit enter, your Google Plus account popped up.”

“I don’t want to brag, but I actually got the most medals out of my entire platoon.”

“Then you’ll have no problem handling a gun, I need you to assassinate these three princesses.”

I looked at him in utter shock.

“Don’t you think that that’s a little extreme?” I asked.

“Not when it comes to these monsters.  If they don’t die, my plan will be much harder to achieve.”

“I will need a price though.” I told him.

Without saying a word he pulled out his briefcase to reveal that it was chalk full of money.

“All of that?” I asked.

“Why not?”

I thought about it for a little while. I remembered how much I hated those stupid ponies, but I also remembered that I too was living under a power hungry son of a bitch.  I was sick and tired of seeing the same thing; the poor lived like dirt, the rich lived like kings, the kings lived like gods, and the gods?  Well… they just lived.  I knew that nobody deserved to live under a dictator.

“I’ll do it.”

“A wise choice Mr.….”

“Scheffler, Jordan Scheffler.”

I got to the building at just the right time.  It wasn’t a tall building; it was just high enough for a man to jump off and die but still remain intact.  That got me thinking; Why not just end it all here?  I could go home to Mom and Dad and everything will be perfect.    But then I remembered that lump sum of cash Harold had showed me.  I needed that money, not just for food or bills, but also for my dreams.  Someday, I was going to rise to power and save this world, make it better than ever before.  I went to the front desk and told the woman my name; she spoke to Mr. Benson through her phone and ten seconds later, she signaled me to the elevator.  I was told to go to the bottom floor, when I got there, it looked surprisingly nice.  It was a long, well-lit hallway with a red carpet on the floor and gold paint on the walls.  Moldings on the walls depicted ancient battles with chariots and spears, seeming to tell a story that ended at the door.  The Door was the best part; it showed a molding of a man and an angel standing between a wall of light, the man was standing in the earthly realm trying to get through while the angel stood there with his arms open ready to allow the man into his divine home.

When I walked through the door, the contents of the next room impressed me a thousand times more than the hallway ever will.  It was a machine; it had four curved towers standing around a circular platform.  The rest of the floor was littered with computers, each one showing lines of code, coordinates, and research.  A scientist was standing at each terminal, all except for Mr. Benson, who approached me with a confident smile.  This time, he was holding a much longer briefcase and a wide, black suitcase.

“I presume that that’s my luggage?” I asked.

“Precisely.”  Said Mr. Benson “Everything you need is in these two cases.”

“I also forgot to ask you, how do you know that this world is real?”

“I was wondering when you would ask that.” He said.

“It all starts like this: I was once a student of astral-physics, then one day, I came a cross a theory that said that humans created universes every single day just by making decisions.  This astounded me to know that other worlds popped up all the time with only one difference.  The theory also got me thinking, if we could make universe like we make decisions, then why can’t we make universes like we write stories?”

“So you’re saying that universes of stories are also real?” I asked in astonishment.

“Precisely.  Worlds from all different kinds of storytelling: Books, movies, video games, even they daydream of a distracted child.  Basically stating, while you’re off in La-la Land, the people of La-la Land are doing what you think they’re doing.”

“That still doesn’t explain the universe portal you have in your basement.” I told him.

“This baby came from years of hard work and elbow grease.  It took us a long time to figure out how to travel inter-dimensionally, but eventually, we found the answer.  A collection of beams moving at light speed converging at one point.”

“That doesn’t sound too hard.” I said, “But how am I supposed to get home once I’m done?”

He reached into the outermost pocket of the black suitcase to reveal a small device.

“This little contraption is designed to transport you between this world and the other, just press the button and poof.”

“But then why do you need such a gigantic transporter?” I asked.

“That’s for when we let in the rest of the world once your mission is complete.”

“I see.”

“I knew you would.  But there is something you should know.  While the land of Equestria may look very beautiful and innocent, that’s because the princesses have fooled their subjects into believing that their still nice people.  So don’t be surprised when everyone gets excited to see their leaders.  Or horrified to see them dead.”

“I’ll be careful” I assured him.

“That’s good to hear.” He responded, “Oh! There’s one more thing I need to tell you.  If you find that your body is two-dimensional but moves in 3D, that’s normal.  As you transition through worlds, your body will adapt to the dimensions of the universe.  So don’t freak out if you look like a cartoon.”

“Thanks for reminding me, I probably would’ve freaked out.”

We finished our conversation and I stepped onto the platform of the teleporter.  The machine roared to life and four towers started to spin.  Suddenly, laser beams started to emit from the top of the towers, and went into one center point, which eventually grew into a big black sphere.  I looked at Mr. Benson one last time and he gave me the okay to go through, so I did.  What happened between when I entered and when I woke up is history.