Pizza

by KatHole23

Rating: everyone
Tags: Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2457

When Woderolt Soarin' and Rainbow Dash want to get thier pizza delivered for free...things dont go as planned.

When Wonderolt Soarin' and Rainbow Dash want to get thier pizza delivered for free...things dont go as planned.

Published 2013-03-06 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-06 02:40:01 UTC

Delivery Is Magic

Soarin' trotted in circles along the cobblestone roads in Ponyville. He was still waiting for Rainbow Dash to exit the pizza shop. They both agreed that Soarin' would pay the delivery pony this time around. Even though he would go for a pie any day of the week, the bakery that had the best pies was struggling under new management. After hearing the news Soarin' didnt eat for a week; until Rainbow Dash force fed him. Life just wasnt the same without pie.

"Why pie? What's wrong with pie? I like pie... Who could hate pie? Who the hay would try closing down a PIE SHOP... Life has no meaning." Soarin' grumbled to himself and he continued to wait. After a few more minutes Rainbow Dash finally exited the crowded shop.

"Man" she breathed, "with that pie place your crazy about closed, its bazerk in there."

"Bah humbug." He pouted. "I just wish that I would have one more pie from that place."
Rainbow squinted her eyes from Celestia's sun. "It was pretty good... I wonder why the owner quit."

"Maybe he died."
"Maybe he's in the hospital....ate too many pies" Rainbow added as the started walking.
"Maybe he's a robot, and um..." Soarin' couldn't think until Rainbow broke him from his thoughts and made a comment about pie crust.

They were still walking, to who knows were. Flying was nice but on a hot day off like this one they just wanted to enjoy it.
"I ordered our pizza, remember you have to pay the guy."
"Yeah I got it."
"Uh huh..." She glanced over at Soarin' quick to see his face. "Soarin'.."
"What?" He whipped his head to the right to look at her.
"You look like you just watched a foal die."
"A foal did die." He replied glumly.
"...wha-?" She tilted her head slightly, obviously very lost.
"IT WAS LIKE THE CHILD I NEVER HAD." Soarin' thumped to the ground, then fell on his back looking at the sky.
"Um..well..." If Rainbow Dash was in this situation with anypony else she would tell them that 'its just pie'. But this is Soarin' she was talking about, pie was his first love.
"You could always get the recipe from the owner" She paused, "If we're able to find the donkey" She added under her breath. She didn't get a reply, just some painful groaning that made her cringe; coming from the full grown stallion by her hooves.
"Soarin'"

"Mehhhhhmmmnmmm."

"...Soarin'."

"Aughuhhhh."

"SOARIN'." she yelled impatiently.

"MEHSJSMMAMANA." He yelled back.

"I think your the foal that died." Soarin' leaped up to his hooves at the comment.

"MESHAHSASHAMANAYAAAAA" he growled at her. She had no idea what the hay he was saying, but venom dripped from his gibberish. So she just rolled her eyes and shut up.
"C'mon, the delivery dude will be here in maybe a half hour." She said as she started flying in the direction of her cloud home.

As they flew closer the sound of rainbow waterfalls hitting the rainbow pools filled their ears. Rainbow Dash had always loved the sound, she had a feeling the Soarin' was still getting used to it, It was kindof loud after all. But once you were actully inside the house it was drowned out a bit.
They both got inside the house and crashed on the couch. They both landed with a loud sigh, happy to be out of the heat.
"You think a hot pizza would be good for lunch, on a wicked warm day like today?"
"Pizza's pizza, don't question it." She grunted.

They both sat in a comftorble silence. Until Soarin' rememberd something.
"...Dash" he whisperd cautiously, seeing if she was asleep or not. Her eyes were closed but he could tell she wasnt sleeping.
"What's up?"
"I just rememberd something..." He was fully sitting up facing the rainbow maned pegasus.
"Hmm?" She cracked open one eye to see him staring directly at her.
"I don't have any bits on me..."
"....what?" She sat up as well.
"I guess I've just been so depressed lately, that i forgot to bring any." Soarin' admitted.
Rainbow Dash sat there thinking for a moment.
"Well, i cant pay for it. I still need to pay the stupid tax ponies in Canterlot, i have to save all the money i can get from weather patrol; we barely do anything in the summer! The big bucks come from Ponyville's rainy days, and sometimes i spend most of it on fast food." She also admitted.

After a couple seconds a wild grin was etched on Soarin's face. "Dash, tell me if I'm right or not."
"Right about wha-" There was a hoof on the mouth before she could finish.
"Shtshtsht! There isn't a lot of time!"
"For what?" Rainbow dash was sitting normally while Soarin' was wasting around her living room.
"So, if the delivery is one minute over a half hour then its free... Correct?"
"Well, yeah i guess so. But why?-"She was stopped again
"now, since we're both broke at the moment." Rainbow Dash piped in to try and interject.
"But I'm not broke I'm just-" Soarin' decieded to cut her off again.
"NOW, all we need to do is stall the delivery pony!"

Rainbow thought there for a second before giving her opinian. "That's..."
Soarin' nodded his head once, twice, ten times. Like he was saying yes for all eternity.
"That sounds like it could work..."
"Alright we both go, you go find him first though we need to keep him busy for a half hour"
"Why do I have to go first?!" Rainbow scoffed.
Soarin' sighed. "Fine, I'LL go first." He flew out the door and back on the dirt road. As he walked he heard Rainbow Dash screaming something, he figured she just fell down the stairs again.

* * *

He finally reached civilization and looked around for a place to hide. He decided on a bush and watched for anypony in a pizza delivery uniform to walk by. He didn't have to wait long when he spotted a mare starting down the path. He swiftly jumped out and started walking by her.
She was a unicorn and had a brown coat, and a white mane with lighter brown highlights on the underside. He couldent see her cutie mark with the uniform on though.

"Hello miss, im with the Ponyville press." He gave her his charming wonderbolt poster smile, trying to convince her. It didn't work.

"Where's your equipment?"

"There's this challenge the boss threw out for his reporters... He said that we have to make a great headline without our equipment." He smiled again.

"Uhuh... I hate to burst your bubble, but the boss of the Ponyville press is a mare." She stated, unimpressed.

"Oh man, heh... Did I say ' he' i totally meant to say...'she'" he smiled even wider, hoping that would work.

She looked at him and continued down the path. "Have a nice day."
He sighed and cautiously followed her muttering "pie wouldn't do this to me."

* * *
Rainbow Dash landed at the end of the path from her house entering Ponyville. She figured that she wouldent let Soarin' do all the work. She decided to sit in the open, on a bench until she saw somepony walk down where she came.
Finally she saw a earth pony happily trot down the road. He had a light green coat and a light grey mane. His cutie mark was also covered.

"HEY YOU!" She yelled, scareing the pee out of the poor colt. She flew over to him and landed. "Whatcha doin with all that pizza?"

"Um...delivering it miss." He slowly answerd.

"Huh." She said it like she found out something she didn't know before. "Anyways, mind if i ask you a few questions?"

"If you don't mind me asking, also...miss. What are you asking for."

"Um...a survey."

"Then I'll be happy to answer, let me just deliver this to the right house and-"

"NO!" Rainbow Dash jumped in front of him blocking his path. "I mean... You can't! I have a lot of other ponies to ask, And I'd like to get this done."

"But the pizza, it'll be cold."

"Well that sucks." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. "Question one, where and at what time were you born?"

* * *
Soarin' caught up to the mare and casually walked next to her.

"So, a unicorn huh?" He smiled again as the unicorn adjusted her glasses.

"So, a pegasus huh?" She mimicked him in an annoying tone.

"I don't think i sound like that..." She just grunted in response. "Do you...not like your race or something?" Soarin' politely asked.

"No, I love the way I am. It's all you annoying pegasi that erk me."

"Woah, what?" He asked started to get irritated himself. The mare stopped walking and looked at Soarin' dead in the eye.
"Im not even flying! I'm walking! See?" He continued to walk a few steps, then walked backwards, and forwards again. As he did so she rolled her eyes.

"I just don't like pegasi" she shrugged.

"Do you have a reason?" He was now flying slightly above the mare and his front legs were crossed over her chest as he leaned into her face. She smirked and started laughing.

"Being in the sky all day must make all of you too light headed to reason with yourselves all you pegasi are ruffians. I don't have time to socialize with your kind." She held her head slightly higher after finishing her statement.

"Says the mare delivering pizza" he slowly growled at her, "do you know who I am?!"

"Yes, yes I do, your one of the Wonderbolts." She answerd with a mocking tone, "what is it, Soarin' right?"

"Yes mam', and whats your name? Too-single-to-care? Or how about Racist-little mare?"
She started laughing. "I'll have you know that i have a colt friend, and what do you have a expensive pillow?"

"No, I have a marefriend."

"Right. That's cute" she continued to walk and laugh at him. His temper started to boil over as her flew over to her, and not just because of the weather.

"Hay yeah you ungrateful priss! Her names Rainbow Dash." He said pridefully.

"Oh dear, you mean that arrogant, self centered, rainbow clown?"

"WHY YOU LITTLE-"

* * *
"That's enough questions for now" the stallion choked out finally.

"Well...if you think so" she shrugged.

"Oh I think so, I think so." He quickly grabbed the pizza box and slid it down to his back, then stood up. "Nice meeting you"

"Yep" she made her way to the sky and looked back down smirking. She hurled herself down to the ground and landed loudly in front of the colt.

"AHHHH! SWEET CELESTIA!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"One more question!" He begged. The colt slowly sighed and pulled himself together.

"Yes?"

"Where are the pizzas headed?" She asked, tilting he head to the colt's back.

"I don't think that's any of your concern."

"Fine whatever." She let him pass, but decided to follow him on hoof this time. A minute passed and he turned around.

"Why are you following me?!" He gasped.

"I figured I would find out for myself." She skipped closer to him. "So, where to?" Instead of saying something he started running away.

"HEY WAIT!"

The colt kept running until he slammed into a tree. Rainbow Dash caught up to him and inspected his form, he ended up knocking himself out. She looked around and slowly rolled him into the nearest bush.
Once the deed was done she started to walk away, but in doing so she ran into an officer. Gulping, she slowly drew away from him and flung herself into the bush with the unconscious stallion.

* * *
Meanwhile, down at the police office, Soarin' was sitting behind bars.

"I'm telling you I didnt do anything wrong."

"Who's coming to bail you out boy?" The officer said, ignoring Soarin's reasons.

"Um...my marefriend, Rainbow Dash." The officer wrote down the name with a smirk and sat back at his desk. A couple minutes if silence washed over and Soarin' heard the sound of hooves outside the door. He could barely hear it, being inside bars and all. But he could make it out.

"C'mon! I didn't knock him out! He ran himself into a tree, honest!"

"OWOWOW, not the mane! OW!" The door swung open and in came another officer with Rainbow Dash.

"Hey boss, I've got another one." The, obviously tired, boss sighed " whats with these ponies today?" He slowly looked up from his paperwork to see the mare. "Rainbow Dash, what the Hay are you doing in here?" He asked slowly.

"Um...am I suppost to know you?" She flicked an ear up, confused.

"It's me!" He put his hooves in the air exitedly.

"...." She coughed awkwardly and kept looking at him. The officer had enough and decided her fate.

"Throw her in with the stallion." He said looking back at his papers.

"WAIT IKNOWYOUIKNOWYOU!" But it was too late the bars were locked, and shut tight with no way of escape.

* * *
After sending their one letter, and sitting in the cage for bad ponies for a couple hours they started to get hungry.

"I wish we had something to eat..." Soarin' whisperd to Dash.
Instead of replying she started banging her head on the floor. Soarin' got next to her and shielded her head protectively.

"Whoa Dash, what did the floor do to you?"

Finally that same pony who dragged Rainbow Dash in came down the hall with two other mares. He held open the door to let them in. Twilight was the first to walk through, followed by Spitfire.

"Celestia help us, Rainbow Dash... Of all the things you get yourself arrested?!"
"Oh jeez Twilight! You make it sound like i killed Soarin' over here., tell that creep over there to get us outta here!" Twililight sighed and looked at the officer in charge. "What is she in for?"

The officer smirked again and replied "harassment"

Spitfire walked over to Soarin' and started laughing until tears started flowing down her face. "Oh man i need a camera or something." The officer pulled out a camera and started setting it up. "I got it already" he started laughing himself.

Soarin' and Dash both knew that this would end up in the paper the next morning, and the look of horror on thier faces made it even more humorous. Twilight, Spitfire, And the who officers posed in front of the barred cage the two pegasi were trapped in.

"NOOOOOO!"