I finally did it, Mama! I've been with a mare. I guess I'm not your brave little colt anymore, am I? I feel like I owe to you to tell you the whole story, so this is going to be a pretty long letter. Anyway, it started back at camp after our patrol got out of a particularly fierce ambush. Thank Celestia that nopony was hurt. Well, nobody on our side was hurt. There are now six notches on my rifle. One guy fell into the ravine. He tumbled end over end, falling and screaming the whole way down down down... When we got back, Erdbeer, our captain, announced that we've be getting rotated off the line for seven days of r&r.
This got Apfel really excited. He was going on about how he couldn't wait to rut again. We started drinking, Apfel, Traube, Zitrone, and I. They started talking about fillies they've had, the best places to go- that kind of stuff. I kept quiet until Apfel demanded to know why I was being so quiet and blushing furiously. Mama, you know what I'm like when I've been drinking. Like a foal, I told him that I'd never been with a mare in that way, let alone dated, kissed, or anything like that. My three zebra friends just laughed and said that they'd make a stallion out of me. After all, we really could die at any time out here in Zebricy. Four stallions I know have died since I wrote you last. Like an idiot, I let them pressure me into taking them up on their offer at the first possible opportunity.
So we finally got our promised time off- about time that the company made good on its promise. The guys dragged me off to a youth bar they told me was a pretty good spot. They almost didn't serve me; they don't like it when ponies from Equestria get involved in local affairs. Thankfully, Traube whipped out his pistol before the barkeeper could ask for I.D. or tell me off. They tried to instruct me in the ways of seduction. Of course, I proved to be terrible at them. It's funny how I can fight like a veteran but I'm hopeless with mares. And that reminds me, my foreign language skills get better after I've had a few. At a couple points, they actually asked mares if they'd buck me. No, Mama, I didn't lose my virginity to a bar pickup.
Mama, I'm really ashamed of what happened next. We left the bar, minus Apfel, who snagged one of the mares who'd said that she'd buck me if it weren't obvious that I'm jailbait. Anyhow, Zitrone whispered something to Traube. Traube said something back and nodded before grabbing me and pulling me into a side street. I saw that they'd taken me to the red light district. Ironically, the lights were all tinted blue. Traube asked me if I wanted to become a stallion. His exact words were "You don't have to do this if this isn't what you want. There's no shame in being a virgin. I was older when I lost mine to my girlfriend. She made it really special. We all know that you're one badass zebra- err pony. I don't care either way, kid. So, what do you want to do?"
I told him, "Give me a few. I need to sober up." So that's what we did. I pulled out a pack of smokes and we lit up. It turns out that Traube is a family zebra. He's got a wife and kids back home. He's here in Neighdersachsen because it puts food on the table. I wonder if he sees me as an adoptive son or little brother. He's the reason, Mama, that I'm writing you this letter. If it were his child out here, he'd want to hear it all from them no matter what. I don’t know if I’ll live to ever see you again. That's why I'm telling you everything.
We went through maybe a half dozen cigs a piece before I felt sober enough to think. I really didn't want my first time to be like this, Mama, but I was scared. On some level, my body knew that it needed to be held. And good luck clopping in a tent full of mercs. I didn't want to die a virgin. I just had to do it once, Mama. Traube led me to an unremarkable brick storefront with lurid lighting. The whole way, I saw so many lewd things that I'm surprised my cheeks didn't catch fire. Traube leaned against the wall and motioned to the door. I thought about it, Mama. I really did. He handed me some money when I said that I'd do it. I opened the door and immediately had to climb up a staircase to a small landing with a door. The bell was marked with the word "Stuten"- Zebrische for "Mares". I pressed it.
After about a minute, this older mare in lingerie comes out. She looked at me suspiciously, but graciously took me inside when she saw the badge on my beret. She said something about always being open to the boys in uniform. I started feeling nervous and reevaluating my decision. I stuck with it. I wasn't terribly confident in my choice, but I didn't have the heart to turn back. I couldn't face the guys if I backed out like a bitch after all they'd done to help me. She led me to this room with a number of couches and chairs containing at most ten different zebras. I was unable to think, Mama. I picked a tall, thick one. Maybe it's because I'm the runt of the family. She wasn't fat- just built. She introduced herself as Klee. I gave the one who had let me in the money and off we went.
Klee led me down a flight of stairs and into a bedroom. At first, I just stood there awkwardly. She quickly figured out that I was a virgin and extremely nervous. Gradually, she coaxed me to lie down on the bed with her. I was trembling, Mama, partially out of anticipation and partially out of nervousness. She stripped me out of my uniform. I didn't have the courage to touch her. Fucking amazing, I know. I can storm a building, but I can't rut or even touch a whore I've paid to screw!
Klee was very fun and very sweet, Mama. As she got me to overcome my shyness, reassuring me that it's okay and natural, I thought to myself that I'd like a girl like that one day to be my bride, not that any filly would ever be with me willingly. Let me tell you, Mama, mares are nice. Her body was soft and she smelled good. I rubbed her all over, and then she got me on my back and put a leg over me. I was trembling again. I kept my eyes open, watching as my last shreds of innocence were blown away. I gasped in shock and pleasure simultaneously. My muscles clenched.
Wet. That's the only way I can describe it, Mama. It felt different than doing it myself. I know, too much information and all that, but I just can't keep it all bottled up. Please, promise me that you won't hate me! I don't remember much of what happened next. It didn't last long. I ran my hooves all over Klee's body. I know that I hugged her close and bucked my hips at the climax. It felt good- too good. My mind just sorta went blank and my body went wild. Afterwards, I lay there thinking, "I came… inside a girl." I still think killing with the bayonet feels better.
My brain stopped working afterwards. Yes, really, Mama. I was fully awake and cognizant of everything, but I was just lying on the bed, absentmindedly groping Klee. I must have been crying, because my face was streaked with tears and Klee was trying to console me. I needed that. It made me feel safe, warm, happy- as if everything were alright; nopony was trying to kill me here. I was so full of mixed emotions and feelings from the new experience that I was just simply trying to process it all. I don't know how long this went on for, but after a while, an alarm went off and sompony knocked at the door yelling at us to get it over with. Klee told me to get dressed and ran out to freshen up while I did so. When she came back, I was ushered out of the room, told to visit again, and then unceremoniously pushed literally out the door.
I walked down the stairs and found Traube waiting for me. "How did it go?" he asked.
"It was... interesting..." I replied. I wasn't in a great mood for some reason. All I wanted was to get a strong drink and sort out the maelstrom in my mind. So that's exactly what we did, Mama; we got drunk and I spilled everything.
I am out of time for this overly-long letter, Mama, but let me say this: I don't regret it. It was fun, but the ordeal left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm looking forward to repeating the experience again. I hear gunfire now, so I've got to wrap this up. It's time to go earn some more notches.
Until Next Time,
Your Son
Author's Note
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