May The Best Colt Win!

by Iateacrayon

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 4192

Rainbow Dash comes across Fluttershy while she is otherwise occupied, and realizes there is something that she has been missing. Fluttershy decides to help her out. After all, how hard could it be for Rainbow Dash to find a colt in Ponyville?

Rainbow Dash comes across Fluttershy while she is otherwise occupied. She realizes there is something that she has been missing in her life.
Fluttershy decides to help her out.
After all, how hard could it be for Rainbow Dash to find a colt in Ponyville?

Sequel to Shake This Barn

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-14 19:10:01 UTC

May The Best Colt Win!

        "Yeah! Keep going!" Rainbow Dash yelled in ecstasy. Her eyes were squeezed shut to block out even the tiniest fraction of what her colt was doing to her right now. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this good, or even how she had gotten here.

Her hooves clasped tightly around her companion's colored mane. Pulling at his soft hair seemed to dull the sensations below, but only just. She could feel his tongue pressed against her inner thigh, sending little shivers from the tip of her mane to that special spot just above where his lips teased her moist flesh. Her colt's lips kissed here and there, nearing his target, before pulling away again to her frustration. Every second was an eternity of pleasant torture. An unbearable thirst not yet quenched.

"Sweet Celestia, you're good at that," Rainbow Dash breathed. She pushed his short-cut mane down as hard as she dared, and his slippery tongue slipped into her folds. Her senses achieved heights never before discovered, but it was still not enough. She needed more. No. Everything!

"Don't stop now," Rainbow Dash moaned when his tongue withdrew, but her words fell on deaf ears. A light rustle and a gentle sigh signaled her worst fears come true. Her eyes opened, and she dreaded what she might see. Her partner had pulled away, abandoning the sweet nectar she had to offer. He slowly crawled closer towards her until she could see his lips slick with her own juices. With rapt fascination, she watched him push his face into reach of her own.

His quivering lips locked onto hers, and Rainbow Dash quickly lost herself in the struggle for dominance. His slippery tongue eluded her determined probes and struck back whenever he saw an opportunity. He was almost a match for her, almost gaining gaining control after several minutes, but she had a secret weapon. Her hoof crawled down his frame as his tongue along her cheek with wild abandon. He gasped when her hoof clasped around him, and his interest in winning this particular battle quickly disappeared.

She slowly ran her hoof along his length as he begged for more between short breaths, before properly enjoying her reward. Rainbow Dash had never tasted a prize so delicious. She relished in her victory for a short time, but the ache from her unfulfilled body quickly reminded her that there was more to come. She released her colt and pushed him backwards onto the bed in one smooth motion. As he lay there, his erect member jutted upwards at the ceiling, and she properly admired it before he pulled himself towards her again.

His shaft was simply, she knew no other way to put it, glistening with sweat. It was tinged red by the blood rushing down through its hardened length from his balls that looked just like a plum around harvest time: ripe for the picking. Rainbow Dash grabbed his outstretched hoof and helped him back onto her.

She quietly pulled him closer and closer, until she could feel him at her entrance. Just laying there waiting to be pushed inside her. She bucked her body up towards him, but he playfully pulled away at the last second with a smile, once more delaying her gratification.

"Just do it already!" Rainbow Dash moaned. She had waited long enough. Her legs wrapped around his back and, with a short grunt, pulled him closer. Just a little more...

A familiar voice broke the silence around them before she could do anything more.

"Yay!"

"Fluttershy?!" Rainbow Dash barked in frustration. Her stallion remained motionless, not daring to continue. "I'm kind of busy here!" The offender's disembodied head popped into view above her. Fluttershy floated around the ceiling in a small circle, never slowing its elliptical orbit around the two lying on the bed below.

"Well so am I. Now hurry up, I'm next! Right, Big Mac?" What? No! It couldn't be... Rainbow Dash's eyes darted to her red-coated companion in abject horror. Big Mac passively stared back at her.

"Ee-yup."

"Ahh!" Rainbow Dash screamed. She snapped awake from her sleep, and found herself perched on her customary afternoon tree. The abrupt shock and disappointment welled up inside her. She really needed to get laid if she was thinking about that night.

In that moment of distraction, her balance shifted. She slipped off the trunk she had been dozing on, plummeting to the ground before her wings stretched out to their full length in an attempt to slow her fall. Her hooves touched ground in what was not one of her most graceful landings ever, kicking up a small cloud of dirt around her.

Damn! She'd been so close. Why do those dreams always end early? Rainbow Dash pushed away the last traces of her imagination and shook away the cloud of dirt that covered her. She had better things to do than mope around feeling sorry for herself.

"Hehe!" A voice giggled from around the tree behind her.

She froze. Somebody had seen her crash land! Rainbow Dash quickly rushed around the tree, expecting to find some wide-eyed foal lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her in a moment of weakness. The story they could go back and tell their friends about watching the one and only Rainbow Dash mess up a landing. Her crash into the ground was almost as if she were still struggling to make her way through an obstacle course in flight school!

Those days were long put behind her, but the laughter from others and the pain of flying so slowly through the air was something she did not wish to be reminded of. She rushed towards the source of the noise, prepared to defend her dignity as an awesome aerial ace.

"Ee-yup!"

She skidded to a halt when she heard the easily recognizable drawl, but she was far too late to stay out of view of the two ponies currently resting against the tree. Fluttershy was sitting astride Big Mac and facing towards their unlucky observer, but she was otherwise occupied with Big Mac to notice their company. Maybe they hadn't seen her after all? Rainbow Dash should have known that she would have no such luck today, of course.

By chance, Fluttershy surfaced for air just as Rainbow Dash had stepped out from behind the tree. Her eyes passed over Rainbow Dash, not recognizing her, before darting back towards Big Mac. A few seconds passed, and Rainbow Dash sighed regretfully when Fluttershy's gasp of fright signaled her realization of their company. Fluttershy jumped away from Big Mac with a small yelp, tumbling backwards onto the soft grass behind her.

"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy squeaked. Her face was flushed, and her hooves frantically covered herself. Rainbow Dash's eyes darted to Big Mac. He was mirroring Fluttershy's actions, but to a smaller degree of success. Her eyes lingered on the outline of his impressive shaft badly hidden behind his hooves. It looked disturbingly similar to what she seen in her dream.

Rainbow Dash blushed. Big Mac silently rolled himself until his back was facing towards them, and she quickly turned back to Fluttershy in a huff.

"What in Equestria were you two doing down here?"

"Umm, uh, we were just trying to find Angel!" Fluttershy squirmed uneasily under her scrutiny. Were her hooves covering something she wasn't supposed to see? Wait...

"Is Angel what you call your...?" Her voiced trailed off accusingly. A flush quickly crept up Fluttershy's neck.

"Oh. Yes." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at Fluttershy's admission. "Wait, I mean, no! I mean, how did you find out!" Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof against the tree trunk beside her impatiently.

"Maybe next time you guys can do it under the tree I'm not sleeping on?"

"O-Oh. Sorry, we couldn't help it," Fluttershy apologized. Rainbow Dash nodded. That would have to do. Maybe now she could get some real daydreams going without those two going at it like rabbits. Although... The two of them had given her an idea. And Fluttershy could certainly help her with that...

"It's fine, I won't tell anypony. If–" Fluttershy dove forwards, her front hooves fixing themselves around Rainbow Dash's nearest foreleg.

"Oh please don't tell anypony about us!" Fluttershy begged. "Especially Applejack! I'd be in so much trouble if she found out! You should see what she's planning to do to Rarity because of that time, and that was only a little fun! It's horrible! I didn't mean to do it on purpose the first time, and then after that it sort of turned into a little game for us, and, I don't know! Please, please, please don't tell anypony!"

Rainbow Dash shook her leg lightly, but Fluttershy refused to budge. She waved her limb high above her head, but Fluttershy still remained firmly attached to it. Finally, Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and flew a few feet into the air. Fluttershy stubbornly dangled below her until she slowly gravity did its work, and she slid down to the ground beside a startled Big Mac.

"Okay, okay! I get it," Rainbow Dash reassured her frightened yellow friend. "Applejack will do terrible things to you, so I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Thank you, Rainbow Dash." Big Mac spoke as he helped Fluttershy up. "So, if'n you'll excuse us..."

He and Fluttershy started back for Ponyville, but Rainbow Dash wasn't finished with them just yet. She jumped in front of Fluttershy and placed a hoof on her friend's chest.

"Hey, now wait a minute! Just because I'm keeping a lid on this doesn't mean I'll do it for free! You're going to help me find a colt like Big Mac!"

"Oh, really?" Fluttershy gasped in excitement. Fluttershy pulled Rainbow Dash by the hoof towards Ponyville in a rush. Big Mac's forlorn figure slowly disappeared into the distance behind them. "You really want a colt? Really? 'cause I've got so many wonderful choices for you. I've been spying on a few ponies perfectly suited for you! Oh, and I know you'll just love them, and they'll love you, oh! And you'll be best friends forever and ever! Oh! Follow me!"

The two had ventured into the middle of Ponyville before Fluttershy began shouting the news.

"Hey everypony! Rainbow Dash is looking for a special somepony!"

"What? Really?!"

"I'd be happy to help!"

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

Rainbow Dash hid her face regretfully behind a hoof as Fluttershy dragged her through Ponyville. This isn't what she had in mind. Fluttershy was just supposed to introduce her to a big strong colt, like Big Mac! Instead, she was parading her through town like she was going to pick the most eligible stallion and settle down with him! Ponies seemed to magically appear from behind every door and hole as Fluttershy announced the news.

Fluttershy steered Rainbow Dash and her potential partners towards a clearing outside of Ponyville after she was fully satisfied with the large gathering of ponies behind them. It looked like half of Ponyville was here now! She could even see some of her friends watching the proceedings a short distance from the mob Fluttershy had collected.

"Now, Rainbow, my dear, I cannot express my delight.

It's abundantly clear,

That somewhere around here,

Is the colt that will suit you just right!"

"I can't wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules.

It's of utmost importance.

The colt that I get

Is somepony that's big and strong."

"Big, and strong, got it!" Fluttershy motioned to the ponies that were gathered behind them. "I have so many wonderful choices. Just wait, and you will see."

"I need something real fast like a bullet to keep up with me."

Fluttershy pulled forward a lucky pony from the group who f. "Sure! How 'bout Silverwing? He's delicate and sensual and quick as can be!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"Delicate, sensual? Have you even met me?"

"Rainbow, have faith.

You see, I will bet you,

Somewhere out there is the colt that will 'help' you.

Come on, the sky's the limit!"

"Sky is good. I'd like a colt that can fly."

"Really?" Fluttershy motioned to a nearby pegasus. "Then I think this adorable Midnight Sky that has your name written all over him. Yes, he does. Oh boy, look, he likes you!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but notice he wasn't all that impressive down there, and also a little too shy for her tastes. "Pass."

"I have so many wonderful choices for you to decide.

There are unicorns hard as steel,

With massive 'appeal'."

"Unicorns do not fly." Fluttershy prodded a unicorn forwards with a hoof. He didn't look like much.

"Maybe not, but I've seen this particular unicorn, when he pulls out, shoot up to two feet away!" Fluttershy proudly announced to the unicorn's shock.

"Wait. When did you see this?" The unicorn wondered aloud.

"Oh, I've spied on every colt in Canterlot, to, um, help Twilight with her research!" This was getting out of control. Even for Rainbow Dash.

"That's it. I'm outta here." Fluttershy turned to her friend and motioned to the others waiting for inspection, the unicorn quickly forgotten.

"Wait! There must be a pony here,

That will fit the ticket.

How 'bout a mare, or is that not what you're looking for?"

A few hopefuls from the audience were staring back at them, suddenly very interested in their conversation. "Male. And bigger." A collective sigh welled up from the crowd, but not of disappointment. There was always a chance, after all.

"Male, bigger. Right."

"I've got just the thing over here, Dash.

Meet your new fabulous colt, Caramel!"

"He's just an earth pony."

"Not just any earth pony. A funny earth pony!"

"...Yeah, no. So, like I was saying..."

"Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it

I need a colt to keep up with me.

Somepony awesome, somepony flying,

With endurance that defies gravity!"

"I'm sensing you want a colt that can fly."

"Ya think?" She was finally making some progress now!

"I know plenty of wonderful colts who can make your day

Like the sweet Deep Blue or the strong Milky Way!"

This was more like it. One looked a little slow, and the other was a little too short for her tastes. "Better, but cooler."

"I see. How 'bout Jack Hammer, or Gemstone, or FireFly?

There's so many wonderful colt the likes of that

There is Wild Fire and Golden Eagle

They are both quite regal

Or perhaps what you need is the tough and strong Hard Hat?"

"Now you're talking!" Some of them definitely looked like Rainbow Dash-level colt material. "But instead of just one standout, now that's too many. So many choices, and such riches aplenty."

"Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me."

"The fast one would be awesome, but the big one I'm digging too

Do you know a colt who's a Wonderbolt?"

"No. But I've got a hot black Thunderlane, just dying to meet you." Fluttershy pointed at another good looking one. How could she possibly choose one out of all the colts here?

"What to do, what to do? Aha!

A prize! That's it! There's really just one way

To find out which stallion's best.

Hold a contest of speed, agility, and guts,

That will put each colt to the test."

"Don't forget experience, that should be considered."

Then we'll know for sure who's best of the pack.

The one who is awesome as cool.

Just like me Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best."

"So a contest we will see.

Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest colt.

In the world for me!"

"May the games,

Begin!

And may the best colt win!"

Today, Applejack had been selling apples in the Ponyville marketplace. Spike had joined her again to stave off his boredom from being home all alone. Twilight had gone to Canterlot for the second time this week, but Spike said that she would be back tomorrow. Applejack wondered why Twilight couldn't just stay in Canterlot if Celestia had to personally instruct her on her newly discovered powers.

Maybe Twilight thought that she'd never come back to Ponyville if she stayed with the princess for too long? Applejack wasn't too worried about that possibility though. In the meantime, she could help Spike enjoy his increasingly frequent days off from work.

It wasn't a terribly busy day, so she quickly closed up shop  when she heard all the commotion. She certainly hadn't been disappointed. Daily life in Ponyville had ground to a halt in wake as the news announced by Fluttershy spread like wildfire, and a large audience had gathered to watch the contests.

Applejack reasoned that with all these ponies standing around, sooner or later a bunch of them would be looking for something to eat. And if Applejack knew anything about Rainbow Dash, she knew that this little contest of hers could take the rest of the day. As the colts slowly lined themselves up, she saw Rarity slowly making her way through the audience towards them. Applejack turned to Spike before Rarity could join them.

"Spike, it looks like we could make a pretty bit sellin' some vittles here. Could you go grab the cart from right where we left it?" Spike nodded in understanding.

"Sure Applejack!" He dashed off back towards Ponyville, sidestepping around the confused white unicorn without a word. Rarity approached her carefully, her steps becoming shorter and shorter and she neared. Applejack waited patiently, going over their last meeting. They hadn't really spoken to each other since that one drunken night at Rarity's. ...

"...Applejack? What are you doing here with Spike?" Applejack quickly put on an air of indifference, and explained her apple-selling idea.

"Oh, we're just here ta cheer on Rainbow Dash and make a few easy sales." She noticed Rarity gently sigh in relief from her words. As if she had been worried about something happening between the two of them. Unless... "Besides, what's it matter to you? Were you jealous?"

"What!" Rarity gasped. "Of course not! Why would I have any reason to be jealous, darling?" She delicately fiddled with her big fancy mane as she spoke, carefully avoiding Applejack's questioning gaze.

"You're doing a darn good job of lookin' like it, Rarity." Her accusation cut Rarity to the quick.

"Wha- I'm not!" Rarity argued. "In fact... I'm seeing this wonderful stallion named Tom! I'll have you know, he's everything I could ever want in a colt!" A new colt, eh? Well, she sure hadn't expected to hear that after what Rarity had told her before.

"Then you'd be happy to make him the guest of honor at Pinkie Pie's next party? I get to choose who the guest is this month, since I was sick last time."

"What? I mean, I've only known him for a short while. He could jump to the wrong conclusion from an invitation like that!"

"Why? Nopony's gonna hold it against him, Rarity. After all, what happens at a Pinkie Party, stays at a Pinkie Party, right?" Applejack joked, daring Rarity to say otherwise. They both knew the rules, but they didn't matter anymore. She wouldn't dare hide behind them. Not after what had happened before. The one time she hadn't been there to stop it from happening.

Rarity wisely ignored her implication. "O-Of course, Applejack. I'll just go... invite him now, shall I?"

Applejack watched Rarity scamper off, feeling just a little guilty for the whole thing. Then she remembered why she was doing this in the first place. Fair is fair, I guess, she thought as Spike arrived with the apple cart. A whistle blew, and Applejack turned back to the real show.

Rainbow Dash had organized the hundred or so contestants into a nice long line. She paced back and forth in front of them, examining each one to guess who could last until the end. She didn't think even half of them would survive the first round.

"Settle down! So! You all think you've got what it takes to be my colt, do ya?"

"Yeeeeah!" Snowflake shouted. The other ponies quickly followed suit, stamping their hooves on the ground. They all gave each other knowing looks.

"Well, we'll just see about that!" Rainbow Dash continued. "If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers. This competition isn't for the weak. You'd better be prepared to step up your game!" A pegasus shifted worriedly out of the corner of her eye. She rounded on him fast as lightning. "You call that flapping?!" He straightened up. "No ma'am!"

"That's better." Spitfire hadn't told her how much fun this sort of stuff could be! "There's only room under Team Dash for one of you, and my future colt needs to be able to take it to the extreme! Any questions?"

"I got one," Applejack mumbled to Spike. "Does she understand what a colt really is?"

Pinkie Pie pushed her way out of her hiding place in the apple cart. "Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection- ugh!" She plugged her nose with a hoof and waved the other in front of her. "And breath mints! You stink, Spike!" Fluttershy joined them by the sidelines, confident that Rainbow Dash could handle the rest by herself.

"Now, let's just pay attention, and try not to laugh too much, and-"

"Seriously, Applejack? Pinkie Pie? What are you guys doing here? Don't tell me you were hoping to compete!" Rainbow Dash didn't like that thought much. After all, this was a very serious contest. She needed to weed out the weak from the strong, and her friends certainly wouldn't last long.

"Oh, we're just here to watch," Applejack quickly reassured her.

"What, is this entertaining? Me, personally inspecting every one of these colts to see which one is good enough for me? Grrgh, fine! But don't say I didn't warn you! This isn't a game, you know!" Rainbow Dash turned back to the line of colts behind her.

"Alright, now these sex games will determine which one of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a colt. Speed, stamina, endurance, style. Experience. Awesomeness. And volume! Good luck, and may the best colt win!"

5 grueling hours later, and all but five colts had left. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike were still watching from the sidelines, but the other ponies had quickly become bored and gone back to Ponyville. The tests had been extensive, but Rainbow Dash knew they had been worth it. Dreams had been shattered. Ponies had gone home in absolute pieces over their failure. But more importantly, five colts were still standing. The best Ponyville had to offer.

Finally, the real test would begin.

"Okay, it seems like most of them didn't have what it takes to make it this far. This will be the final test!" The five finalists cheered.

"-Of the first half," Rainbow Dash continued. "We're going to repeat every single game again..." she pointed skyward. "In the air!" The finalists didn't like that much.

"...What?!"

"You're joking, right?"

"Do all of that, again?"

"This is insane," Thunderlane cried. "I'm out of here!"

"Yeah!" The remaining colts shambled off. They were all too tired and fed up with Rainbow Dash's endless contest to continue. Huh. She hadn't expected all of them to quit. Maybe two or three, but not all of them at once. Now what was she gonna do?

Spike and the others stood by quietly as the remaining contestants gave up. Nopony wanted to speak first. Eventually, Applejack turned to the others. "I'm gonna see if I can cheer her up a lil' bit. Spike, I'd be mighty thankful if you took the profits back to the farm. I'll see you there faster than you can say, 'Rainbow Dash, get off me'."

Rainbow Dash surveyed the empty field where ponies had battled for the chance to be her colt. So many ponies, and not enough stick-to-it-ness to go around. Twilight probably knew a better word for it, but that would have to do for now. A few tentative steps behind her from Applejack signaled the rest of the ponies had gone back to their daily lives.

"I don't get it!" Rainbow Dash complained. "Not a single stallion in Ponyville can keep it up for me!" Applejack laid a comforting hoof on her back, before bringing up something entirely different.

"I'm sure Spike wouldn't mind helpin' you out if I asked..." Spike? Ha! She'd never thought Applejack of all ponies would stoop that low.

"Applejack, I just turned down every colt in Ponyville, and I think that you're crazy! I doubt Spike has any of the stuff that I sang about!" Applejack had a knowing smile plastered across her face.

"I know. But there's more to him than meets the eye." Applejack leaned in and whispered something into Rainbow Dash's ear.

"Really...Two of them?!" Applejack nodded. "Well why didn't you say so in the first place!"