The Curious Case of Michael Crawford

“Michael! Michael wake up!” Twilight said to her sleeping friend, he was lying in a hospital bed. His stomach was bandaged and he was covered in bruises, the minor injuries he had sustained turned out to far more serious than he imagined. His arm was broken in seven places and he sustained several rib fractures. He had burns where he had been hit by magic, his leg was in a plaster cast. He looked at the room, lots of balloons and cards saying get well soon. It looked like a hospital at home even the bed seemed to fit him. He saw Twilight sitting at the side of his bed.

“Huh? Wha-Where am I?” Michael said as he came out of the deep sleep he had been in, it had been several days since the war ended with the death of Queen Chrysalis. Twilight smiled at him as his eyes open, he felt shorter. Much shorter, so short he fit in the bed. “How am I in a pony sized bed when I’m…..” His face dropped “Oh no! FUCK NO WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO TO ME!” Michael said as he realized why he fit in the bed.

“I’m so sorry Michael, There was no other way!” Twilight said as tears filled her eyes, Michael pushed the blanket he was under off of his body revealing a pony with olive green fur and a short black mane. On his flank was a crown with a Celestia sun beneath it. A scar covered his eye and his stomach and he had wings that were bandaged. “If we didn’t do it you would have died!”

“HOW! HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THIS?!” Michael shouted still staring at his wings.

“Well I had a hand in it.” A smooth regal voice said, Michael and Twilight turned to see Princess Celestia standing by the door. Michaels fuming rage seemed to be cooled by her voice. “I understand your reservations about this Michael but believe me you would have died without this.”

“But what am I going to do? I can’t fire an M16 like this.”

“You don’t need to, you’re getting a promotion.” Celestia said with a smile

“But I just got promoted to colonel.” Michael said quizzically

“Well you’re being promoted to chairman of the Military. Your work at the battle of Las Pegasus and the fact that you single handedly took down the entire Changeling Army in Canterlot proved to me you are an excellent choice.” Celestia said, Michael’s face lit up.

“Ch-Ch-Chairman of the military?! But I don’t even know how to use this body! Why did you give me this body? Couldn’t you change me back?” Michael Pleaded, Celestia shook her head sadly. She didn’t tell him it was a one way spell “AW COME ON! PLEASE HELP ME!”

“It was a one way spell, I’m sorry Michael.” Celestia with a frown, Michael sighed as he took in his new fate.

“At least I’m still me, Michael Crawford, even if I’m in a new body.” Michael said trying to make sense of it. Celestia frowned again.

“You need to change your name, the people would find it hard to believe you were born a pony with a name like that.” She said, she saw rage building inside Michael’s eyes.

“Twilight! Leave Us!” Michael said barely holding in his rage, when she had left he laid into the Princess. His fury made nightmare moon look like a kitten. “YOU ASK ME TO CHANGE MY NAME! CHANGE MY LIFE! AFTER ALL I HAVE DONE! FOR YOU AND THIS GODDAMNED NATION! YOU’VE TAKEN MY BODY! LEAVE ME MY NAME!” he shouted, the princess actually quivered a bit but just stood there.

“Why do you care so much about your name?” Celestia asked, she regretted ever doing so

“BECAUSE IT IS MY NAME! I GREW WITH IT! I’LL BE DAMNED IF I DON’T DIE WITH IT!” Michael yelled furiously “I SAVED YOUR LIFE AND YOU ASK THIS OF ME! TALK ABOUT GRATITUDE!” Michael angrily grumbled. He looked at Celestia and saw tears beginning to form, now he felt like a big asshole.

“I-I’m sorry Michael, my hooves are tied.” She said rubbing a tear from her eye, she left the room visibly shaken. Twilight went into the room to see Michael now smoldering with anger, he flung his hooves over the side of the bed and stood on four legs grumbling. He found this new form of walking considerably comfortable though, he walked past Twilight without a word.

“Where are you going?” she said, Michael turned and shrugged.

“Home? I might just start building my own house. I think I’ve earned that don’t you?” Michael said with a grunt, Twilight looked at him as if to say ‘not in that condition’ but he just shook his head and walked out. “A new name? What do I call myself?” he thought out loud, he knew they wouldn’t change their minds. “What I wouldn’t give to get back home to the land of E Pluribus Unum?” Michael stopped in his tracks. “That’s it!” he said “Epluribus Unum, I could live with that name. I won’t be their little chairman, oh no~ I’ll be a grunt.” He saw the princess standing at the nurse’s station with applebloom. Michael walked over and plopped down in a chair. The Princess looked at him and frowned, he nodded simply. He had come to his decision.

“Applebloom look who it is!” the Princess said, She still looked upset but hid it well. Applebloom looked over and saw Michael sitting in the chair. She rushed over and hopped up onto him earning a small grunt from Michael as she snuggled into his new coat. The Princess walked over and sat on her haunches “Well have you thought about it?”

“Don’t have much of a choice now do I?” Michael said as a small snore came from Applebloom, Celestia Nodded. “Epluribus Unum, out of many one.” He said, Celestia nodded

“Well Epluribus is there anything else?” Celestia said, Michael now known as Epluribus Unum nodded.

“I don’t want to be chairman, I want to get back into combat. Maybe like a Lieutenant Colonel.” He said, Celestia nodded to Epluribus and smilled. “And I’m sorry for what I said, it was out of line. I should have followed your order.”

“Its fine Micha- err Epluribus, I asked so much of you after you’ve given so much already.” Celestia replied, she smiled a bit. Twilight was coming down the hall way when she found them talking. With a smile she sat on her haunches, her lavender eyes were wide and had the feeling of deep pools. It made Epluribus feel better…..

2 MONTHS LATER……

Epluribus stood outside a completed house, just like his farm on earth. With a smile he walkd to the door and opened it. Applebloom ran over to him and jumped up on his back, Twilight was cooking dinner in the kitchen. Life was good for now, Epluribus sat on a sofa with Applebloom.

“Daddy?” Applebloom said with a grin, Epluribus’s heart exploded, the first time she had said daddy.

“Yeah Honey?” He replied

“Thank you.” Applebloom said with a grin.

“For what sweety?”

“Everything you’ve done for me, you’re the best daddy ever.” Michael smiled and nuzzled Applebloom a bit, his new life was finally beginning……….

THE END