Draft

by Pon13

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Dark
Length: 1706

Meet Sensor and Switch, an 'inseparable' duo that delivers goods through the badlands

Meet Sensor and Switch, an odd duo that delivers goods through the black-markets and how they survive making daily trips through the Badlands where the most notorious gangs of Equiestria lock hoofs over territory, drug runs and other causal misdeeds.
Let alone the black isles coperation take over of the badlands for oil that runs their machinery may make things difficult for the duo.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-08 14:20:02 UTC

Prologue

On the edge of the badlands stood a lonely inn next to a dusty road that went on for miles into the night. Nothing but sand, dirt and mud. The inn saw better days, it was made out for wood like the rest of the buildings on the frontiers but age has worn it down and crippled it foundations, It has always been a mystery how the building still stood.

Just above the porch leading into the entrance hung a sign that creaked as it swung in the cool nights breeze. You could only make out the letters saying ‘Last Chance Inn’. Couldn't be more fitting for where the inn sat.

The inn was Infamous for it’s reputation for being the haunting spot mercenaries, thugs, dealers and the damned. They all come here to drink away today's misdeeds. The occupants were always rowdy, every single night without fail, the inn claims a life; as always starts with an argument over who spilt the pint or who's cheating on the cards.

“Hey here’s an idea, why don’t ya'll change inta a dick an' go buck ya-self...”

Over in the corner, tucked at the back of the inn a mare and a changeling sat bathed in dull lightening from the flickering candles. A unhealthy fog of smoke that filled in the air from cigarettes and the burning unsavoury substances. Separating the two were many of empty bottles of cider placed on a old wooden circular table.

The pony sat opposite the changeling was called Sensor. She was the blandest of all the technicolor ponies with in the bar. Brown eyes, beige fur, a dusty brown mane and a grey cowcolt hat with two hole cut in for her ears to poke through. She had a saddle bag that saw better days as it was frayed at the edges with countless badly sewn patches. Being well into her adulthood she failed to bare any cutie mark on flank and often tormented by other ponies who knew her; in which only shortens her fuse to a bad temper.

“Hey now. Calm down, ah'm only bucking with ya'll,” the changeling replied in a mocking frontier accent.

The changeling was called Switch. He was an unusual one. There was nothing special about his appearance per-say, just your average changeling. Bug wings, black exoskeleton and the standard blue eyes. You know, the usual.

It was the oddness of having a name. In changeling society, a drone doesn't need a name as they tend to work in a hive. He was hundreds of miles from any known hive and he is proud of having no ‘queen’ to tend to.

“She's the reason ah'm stuck with ya.” Sensor looked down and reached out for her cider bottle. She continued in a low threatening voice before necking down the rest of her cider. “If ya like ya wings then never mention that dang bitch again.”

“Heh, I ain’t getting any love from you, am I?” Switch huffed jokingly as he led forward  and place his black holey front legs on the table, knocking a few bottles off causing a loud clatter. “Any more hate from you and I’ll shrivel up like a prune.”

“Switch! Take a darn good look, we're at the ends of the world here,  ah aven't gotta clue why we choose to haunt this place. Don’t ya meant to be pervin' over newly-weds or young love or somethin'?”

“I would doing that now if I could get further than 30 paces from you with out dying...” The Changeling replied as he lost interest in the conversation, instead he was eyeing up the hookers as the prowled through the customers looking for their next client. “Maybe I should turn myself into a dick,” he turned towards Sensor, “Chicks love dicks,” he gave a sharp grin after between his two fangs.

The earth pony opened her mouth and slowly closed it, no words was able to counter that statement. Instead she just buried her face into her hooves and wished that one day she’ll be free’d from this idiot.

Switch interrupted her wishful thinking with a prod to the head. “Sensor, didn't you hear me? I said-”

Sensors ears snapped back against her hat. “Switch! Say that again and ah’ll make ya eat ya own ass!” She slammed her hooves on the table, knocking off the remainder of the empty bottles.

“Well, I was going to say I’ll get a round in,” the Changeling sighed while resting his cheek on his hoof and admired the other.

“We aven't got -” Sensor's ears flicked back up as she interrupted herself. “why has it gone silent?” she turned to her attention to Switch who replied with a shrug of the sholders. Both of them turned their heads to see all the occupants was facing the door and peering out the windows.

“I will give you one more chance Clash! One more!” A voice yelled from outside the inn “Come out and show yourself!”

A few moments of pure silence passed until series of cocking rifles being clicked and primed. Sensor and Switch both looked at each other once hearing.

“Three oh eights!” They both yelled with sheer panic on their faces. Immediately they both flipped the table and ducked behind it with their hooves over their heads.

A barrage of gunfire erupted, with screams and yells of ponies being drilled with many bullets and shrapnel. The table was being blown to bits. The earth pony and the changeling hit the floor, covering their heads as thousands of projectiles hit the back wall showering them in plaster and wooden debris.

“What the!? Get behind the bar!”  Sensor yelled over the gunfire and the screaming. They both nodded to each other and darted across the floor and leaped over the bar counter.

The bullets continued to fly in unrelentingly, a bloody mist filled the air with dead or dying ponies sprawled across the floor. A few shocked ponies stumbled towards the front door only to be turned into Swiss cheese..

“These better not be your friends Switch!” The pale blue bartender yelled while returning fire with a 12 gauge shotgun swamped with in a glow of his unicorn magic and a bent unlit cigarette hanging from his lips.

“What's the date?” Switch replied calmly as bullets started to hit the glass bottles that was hanging on the back wall showering them in rum, whiskey and glass.

“Seventeenth...why?” The bartender answered with a bemused look on his face.

“Nope. Not mine. My unholy blood filled massacre is next week.” The changeling flicked through his black dairy before tucking it back under his wings.

“Oi! Cut the shit you two, an' pass out the guns. Ah wanted a quiet nigh' tonight,” Sensor yelled as crawled along the floor trying to dodge the shrapnel as the bar got torn apart. Her order was granted, as her Marechester rifle slid along the floor. “This shit wouldn't damn happen if ya let us keep our guns.”

“Fuck you, you’re all a bunch of tweaks. Off course this wouldn’t happen, we'll all be blown to the moon by now!” The unicorn shouted trying to get his voice heard while tossing Switch’s dagger to him. “Just go."

The earth pony loaded her rifle, and waited for the right moment. The onslaught ceased, and the smoke and blood mist settled with a deafening silence. Dozens of ponies now led dead, filled with holes painting the floor red and speckled with parts of brain. A few tried to crawl to safety to be only shot in the back by the entering ponies uniformed in all black and now carrying mouth held pistols and their rifles slung over their backs.

“Show time,” Sensor muttered with a huge cheshire grin that spread across her face. Pulling up her rifle to her shoulder she launched to her hind legs, ready to pull the long trigger. Immediately catching a unsuspecting pony in her sights before a blast that scattered his brains over the already bloody floor. The other ponies could react fast enough, another round was already cocked into the chamber and being given with the same fate. Four other brainless bodies fell to the floor.

More ponies ran in through the door, more rounds left the barrel from his gun. It was almost she could predict where their head was going to be as they blindly enter her cross sights. Others tried to out wit her by taking aim through the windows, but Sensors aim was already waiting.

The gunfire ceased once again as the last casing expelled from the Marechester’s chamber hit the floor.

The beige pony slumped behind the bar and searched through her saddle bags. “Damn out of ammo.” she sighed. “Looks like its your turn Switch..” She nudged the changeling on the shoulder.

Switch slowly turned his head slightly and folding his front legs. “Nah.”

“Why not!?”

“Snack time.”

Sensor’s left eye started to twitch, where the anger started to cause an metaphoric aneurysm “How can you feed on love at this time?”

“I was always told to never to fight on a empty stomach,”

She rubbed her temples, reminding herself if she kills him; she dies too.

“Dude... Love is all around...” Switch replied in a mocking hippy accent. “You just gotta follow the waves of love, mare.” A green glow engulfed his horn then quickly vanished. “But Sensor. Honestly, you producing that much love by killing, you should go and see a shrink.” he continued in a dead serious tone. “Plus that kind of love isn’t good for me, Makes me have the shits,”

“Sorry for breaking your romance...” The Bartender interrupted just before Sensor could get her hooves round the changeling’s neck “But it seems they’re retreating.”

All three of them slouched against the bar and let out a sigh or relief.

“Hey wait a minute. Who the fuck is Clash?” Sensor announced with a confused look on his face.

“Over here!” A voice yelled from the other side of the inn.

The trio popped their heads up cautiously over the bar counter to find a mare taking cover behind a toppled table with a pile of cigarette butts doused in front of her.

“Howdy!”