There's A Little Problem

by Agaris

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Gore, Princess Celestia, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel
Length: 9345

Is this your normal HiE? NO! When Zeke is transported to Equestria, he finds that nothing is the same - except he's still human.

Gather round, children, and I'll tell you a tale. It is a story of epic proportions; of magic and friendship, of inter-dimensional travel and time travel, of paradoxes and danger and insanity galore, and of an extremely unlucky young man named Ezekiel Martin.

When a spell goes awry in Equestria, a denizen of another world is snatched from his comfortable life and forced to live a life he'd never expected to have to live. Due to one freak accident after another, Zeke loses his voice and ends up living in Equestria as a human animal.

Alright guys, seriously. If you enjoy the story, please like, favorite, all that other crap, but above all, PLEASE COMMENT. I want to know what you think - I can see you favoriting it, so I know you're out there, but please, for the love of God, TELL ME THINGS. Ask me questions, post what you think is going to happen next, tell me what you like about it, but PLEASE, just put SOMETHING. The silence is killing me!

Published 2013-03-14 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-02 06:54:02 UTC

Misfire

Somewhere in Equestria...
12:00 A.M.

It was a damp, gloomy night.

A chill had settled over the quiet rural town in Equestria's country. A few dark-coated pegasi darted around overhead, preparing for an evening drizzle, but other than that, Ponyville was as silent as the grave.

A certain lavender unicorn stood huddled near a candle with a strange piece of paper, preparing herself for what could be the most difficult task she'd ever attempted - and that was saying a lot. Along with her friends, the bearers of the five other Elements of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle had beaten back some of history's evilest villains, actually reforming the rage-filled Nightmare Moon and the embodiment of chaos, Discord. But right now, her most dangerous - and perhaps her stupidest - experiment was coming to fruition. Under the command of her teacher and ruler, Princess Celestia, Twilight was now going to try to perform an unknown, untested spell that had been found in the Canterlot Catacombs.

"Twilight," her Number-One Assistant spoke up. He nervously ran a hand along the green spines jutting out of the purple scales on his head. "You do know that the Princess doesn't really expect this to do much, if anything, right?"

"I know, Spike," Twilight replied, a little miffed. "I was there when she gave it to me."

The official story was that the Elements of Harmony were in Canterlot to see how Discord was dealing with reformation, and while that was true for the most part, the real purpose for the mandatory visit, as Princess Celestia revealed, was slightly more sinister. "Twilight," she began, pacing the castle's Grand Hall. She seemed unnerved about something; her movements were quick and unsure, and even her many-hued mane, which normally rippled majestically in the intangible solar winds, was as limp as a piece of wet celery. "Something has happened. One of our guards found this in the library reserves beneath the castle." The Princess magically lifted a strip of paper, surrounding it in a pink aura, and showed it to Twilight, The paper itself looked burnt around the edges, and the writing was large and spiky and written in a dark red ink, much like blood.

"Where the wind blows, where the stars shine, where the world turns, there... will be here?" Twilight read aloud, very perplexed. "What does it mean? And what's that business about the world turning?"

"That's just it: we don't know." Celestia grimaced. It obviously irked her that she couldn't discern the spell's intent. A pained look flashed across her face. "However," she continued, "I feel that you are the only pony who can safely find out the purpose of this spell - if there is one." Celestia looked at her student with pride...

"Still, Celestia is counting on me, so I have to try my hardest!" Twilight affirmed. After reading over the spell a few more times to cement it in her memory, Twilight closed her eyes and began to concentrate. She channeled the magic into her horn, and a purplish-pink aura surrounded it. To her astonishment, after only a few seconds, the aura sparked and fizzled.

"What? I was sure it was going to do something!" Twilight scratched her chin absentmindedly. "I just have to try again!" she declared. She screwed her eyes up in concentration, but the magic still didn't go anywhere, and nothing happened. "Did I read the spell right?" she asked herself in frustration as the scrap of parchment levitated in front of her.

"OK, I'm sure I've got it now." She tried again, but to no avail. "NO! I HAVE to be doing something wrong..."

"Huh. I guess it just doesn't do anything," Twilight admitted after trying twenty more times. "Spike, take a letter: Dear Princess Celestia-" She was interrupted by a tremendous snore coming from her young assistant. She smiled, lifted him on her back and took him up the circular staircase carved in the interior of the massive tree. As she put him in his bed, she noticed out the window that the sun was beginning to rise - she'd been trying to get that spell right all night! When Twilight saw the dawn, she realized just how tired she really was. Well, there was nothing to do but try to make it through the day.

Meanwhile, on Earth...

Zeke exploded in profanity as his computer screen turned red. The words "GAME OVER" appeared in big letters, then faded away. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Dammit, I was so close, too." He rubbed his temples. "It kills me that this is what I do for fun - play a video game with little to no purpose other than 'shoot zombies or get verbally abused by 12 year-old's'. I hate my life."

The tall, gangly teen stood up and stretched. He needed a break anyway. Aimlessly, Zeke wandered to the kitchen. The house was empty, as his parents and little sister were at some cheerleading event. Spying the remainder of the cheese pizza from earlier in the night, he snagged a piece and started to munch on it. "Man, is it hot in here?" he wondered. Although the thermostat said 68 degrees, just like always, Zeke felt a tightness in his chest and a hot tingling feeling in his forehead and shoulders. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yeah, that was better. He was going to be fine in a minute.

His eyes snapped open when he began to feel weightless. "What the hell?" he exclaimed. Everything he saw was tinted purple, and HE WAS FLOATING THREE FEET ABOVE THE FLOOR. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his right side, then in his left leg, then in his neck. The pain continued to migrate around his body, stabbing and retreating like some diabolical sewing machine, each prick seeming to take a part of Zeke with it. Finally, the pain ended. Zeke was relieved, and expected his life to go back to normal any second. But of course, things don't exactly work like that. His arms and legs inadvertently flung themselves out and began to stretch in opposite directions. It felt to Zeke as if he were being drawn and quartered like in the olden days. Just shows how weird you are, thinking of ancient Greek punishments when you're dying, he thought inanely. His skin began to glow, and his body filled with an intense heat. He screamed, but it was lost in the roar and crackle of fire that engulfed the young man's entire being. His last thought before he ceased to exist on Earth was, I guess my boring life is over, now.

Zeke awoke hours later to a rancid odor like rotting meat drifting under his nostrils. Groaning, he sat up, yet almost immediately laid back down due to an overpowering headache. "Umm... didn't I die?" he muttered as he lay surrounded by tall grass. Actually, wasn't this grass a little bit TOO tall? It brushed Zeke's ears and further up as he lay on his back. "Must be some different kind," he said to himself. Then he noticed something else: the grass was brushing more than his ears. "Oh what the hell?!? Where are my clothes?!" That's when he heard the growling. That got rid of his headache real quick. He bolted to his feet. What the hell kind of thing makes that loud of a noise? he wondered frantically. A lion or something?

The awful stench grew stronger, and now Zeke could hear the rustling of leaves and snapping branches beneath the ferocious growls. Spinning this way and that in terror, he somehow managed to look in the exact right direction to see his assailant. It was a giant wolf, at least two feet taller than Zeke himself. Its eyes glowed a sickening green, nearly as nauseating as the putrid smell emanating from its mouth, and it was... made entirely... out of wood. Zeke would have been dumbfounded, if he'd had the time. But in the next second, he found himself flat on his back yet again that day, although in particularly less accommodating straits. Zeke screamed. The wooden monstrosity slashed open the boy's chest with its massive claws, raking across his throat in the process. Zeke tried to call for help with his last bit of consciousness, but all that emerged from his mouth was blood. The beast closed its jaws around Zeke's torso, and he felt himself being lifted into the air. Sharp points dug into his back and chest, and the pain finally overcame him. Just before he passed out yet again, he heard a feminine voice scream, full of rage, "YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT POOR LITTLE ANIMAL!"

And then the world was black.

Fluttershy didn't normally make a point of going anywhere in the Everfree Forest - it was an unnatural place, with all kinds of scary monsters in it. This morning though, Angel had been particularly stubborn about his salad having a special kind of herb in it that could only be found deep in the forest. The light yellow pegasus accepted it in the end; after all, EVERYONE knew what had happened the last time she'd tried to say no.

"Oh!" Fluttershy spotted the plant's telltale purple-striped spiky leaves. As she tiptoed over to get it, she heard a piercing shriek that didn't sound like it could have come from anypony she knew. Still, it sounded like whoever it was was in trouble. Fluttershy looked around, but she was the only pony out there, so...

She steeled herself, mustered up all of the courage that she could, and took to the air - albeit not entirely quickly - to search for the source of the scream. There! Growling was echoing off of the trees in a small clearing about 30 feet away, and Fluttershy would know that smell anywhere. She began to balk at the prospect of fighting a timberwolf - nasty creatures, all of them, and none of them could be influenced by anything Fluttershy did, nor could she understand their speaking - but then she saw that the beast wasn't attacking a pony at all. Instead, it was clawing and biting a poor... defenseless... animal...

The pegasus had seen enough. Nothing was going to happen to defenseless creatures on her watch. Wings flapping furiously, she dove toward the ground at a velocity she never knew she could reach before. Blinded by rage, she shrilled, almost incomprehensibly, "YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT POOR LITTLE ANIMAL!" Fluttershy hit the ground hard, but stayed on her hooves, sending a spray of dirt into the wolf's eyes. Lashing out with her back hooves like she'd seen Applejack and Rainbow Dash do so often before, she sent the timberwolf sprawling in the dirt. Even though there was much less force in her kick than in those of her friends, the beast was stunned for a few moments.

In that time, Fluttershy turned to look at the wolf's would-be prey. When she saw the damage that had been done, tears began welling up in her eyes. She'd never seen such awful wounds on something before. She also hadn't seen an animal that looked like this before, but that took a backseat to her concern. I might not be able to save it, she thought. No, she chided herself, If I think like that, I won't save it. Almost as soon as Fluttershy had this thought, she heard her erstwhile foe snarl as it pulled itself up to its feet. Almost in a panic, she scooped the unconscious critter into her forelegs and took off at speeds that rivaled her earlier dive. The wolf howled as it pounced where the usually timid pegasus had been just moments before.

Hesitating only moment to look back at the enraged animal, she sped off toward her simple cottage at the edge of the forest. She looked down at the ravaged animal she held. "Don't worry, little guy. I'm going to make you all better."

Author's Note

Hello everypony. This is my first ever fanfic, of any kind, so please forgive me if it isn't that great. Any feedback would be helpful, and I look forward to getting to know you all better!

Awake

After Fluttershy's shocking revelation, the majority of her friends conveniently found reasons to head back to Ponyville - or at least to get away from the bloody mess that the hamon was. Applejack trotted out nervously, saying that she needed to check up on the farm anyway. Rarity pulled herself away from the mysteriously appeared sofa that she had draped herself over and muttered something about needing to finish an order. Rainbow Dash said she had to go practice some of her tricks for the fan club exhibition later in the week, stopping only to vomit loudly in Fluttershy's yard. Only Pinkie and Twilight stayed behind. Turning back to her remaining friends, Fluttershy spoke. "I'm so sorry I had to show you like this, but I -" She skidded to a halt when she saw Pinkie crouched in front of the couch, forehooves resting on the edge of the cushion, staring with narrowed eyes at the injured animal.

The pink mare looked at the hamon suspiciously for a few more moments before backing away slowly. "I still don't know what it means, but whatever's been going on with my Pinkie Sense, it has something to do with this thing. Anyway, I have desserts to make," she continued, her demeanor reverting back to normal, bubbly, cheerful Pinkie Pie. "After all, cupcakes don't bake themselves you know. I mean, how weird would it be if they did? Can you imagine, just a tray of cupcakes putting themselves in the oven, and then taking themselves out when they were done? Oh, and even before that, the eggs cracking themselves, and the flour and sugar and butter all mixing themselves, and the frosting when they're done, it would be sooooo funny!" She burst into a giggling fit as she bounced out the door.

The two remaining ponies watched as she left, baffled looks on their faces. Twilight shrugged, and said, "Pinkie. So, um, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened to this... hamon?" Twilight struggled to get her mouth around the unfamiliar word.

Fluttershy winced and hesitated. Slowly, she explained, "Um, as far as I can tell, sustaining all of these injuries should have killed him. I... I really have no idea why he's still alive. He suffered five broken ribs, a punctured lung, numerous lacerations across his throat, torso, and legs, and a multitude of other wounds. That, combined with all the blood loss... I just don't know what's keeping him alive." As the pegasus got further on in her explanation, Twilight could see her manner change almost completely. She went from being slightly cowed by the fact that she was the sole pony in charge of coming up with an explanation, to being completely absorbed in the creature's well-being, hardly even paying attention to Twilight anymore. She stayed like that for several moments before turning back to the unicorn. "Anyway, I don't want to bother you girls with taking care of him, so go ahead and do whatever you want. Tell them to go to the spa without me; I don't know when he'll be well enough for me to take an entire day off of caring for him. It probably won't be for another few weeks, at least, and I don't want you to have to wait that long just for me. Oh, and I won't be in town for a few days, but don't be worried, okay?" she smiled reassuringly.

Twilight gave a small smile at her friend's assurances. "I understand, it's no big deal. I'll tell the girls, you do what you need to do." The smile faded. "Just... be careful, alright? I don't want you to get hurt because of your kindness."

Ushering Twilight out the door, Fluttershy said, "I'll be fine; after all, if things go wrong, I always have the Stare. Not that I'd ever want to use it, I just mean, in case."

"I understand, Fluttershy. Do me a favor and get some sleep, though - you look exhausted."

"Alright Twilight. I'll do that." Fluttershy closed the door and sighed. Twilight had no idea how close to the mark she had been in telling Fluttershy to sleep. Wearily, she flitted down the hall to get a drink of water, then made to head upstairs. Before she did though, she stopped to look one more time at the hamon. He looked so sweet and innocent (even if not particularly cute and cuddly) and Fluttershy wanted nothing more than for him to live through his injuries - injuries which, as she frowned at them, seemed already smaller than they had earlier. The pegasus shrugged, putting it down to sleep deprivation. "Angel," she yawned, slowly trudging up the stairs, "come get me if something happens please." The white rabbit saluted sharply, and bounded over to sit next to the hamon. Knowing that the animal was in capable paws, Fluttershy continued her trek up the stairs. She collapsed on top of the covers, not even bothering to crawl underneath their warmth. Swiftly, she began falling into sleep. Her last conscious thoughts were about the hamon. She unintentionally smiled as she realized that it wasn't going to wake up for at least a few days. Then she felt bad about feeling happy, but at least she could get a fair amount of slee-

A familiar thumping sounded in the recesses of Fluttershy's mind. Clutching her last vestiges of awareness, she arduously pulled herself back to the land of the living. She forced her eyes open and blinked groggily. Standing at the foot of her bed was Angel, waving his paws in the air frantically. "W-what is it Angel?" Fluttershy yawned. Surely nothing could have happened in the fifteen seconds since she'd gone upstairs. Angel began to pantomime something, and, as Fluttershy watched, her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open.

Zeke was in pain. He didn't know what was happening, but he was in pain. He was also floating in a mysterious darkness, with no landmarks - or land - to be seen for miles in any direction. Then again, Zeke might not have been able to see for miles. For all he knew, he could very well be stuck in a pitch-black tunnel, surrounded by rocks and bats. So, so many bats. But back to what he actually knew for sure. His chest felt like it was on fire, but when he looked at it, he saw nothing wrong. Likewise, his neck and legs burned with the same invisible fire. The pain was unbearable

Amidst this pain, he heard a voice, whispering in the shadows. "You must know of the evil..."

Zeke started, shouting out, "What! Who's there?"

The voice came again, hissing softly, insidiously. "The darkness is here... The darkness hungers..."

"Hey, you better stop fucking around! Who are you?"

"The darkness drives me to evil itself... it drives me to madness..." The sounds echoed off of something, leading Zeke to believe once again that he might be in a cave.

Zeke was starting to get seriously terrified. "I'm going to ask you one more time: who- no, WHAT are you?"

The voice suddenly changed. A smooth baritone emerged from the darkness, chuckling wickedly. "You will know in time. And you will know the true meaning of pain. I have plans for you, my friend, but now, it's time to wake up..."

He awoke shouting. Or at least trying to. The agony he'd felt in what he now recognized as a dream was amplified tenfold in reality. Zeke pushed himself into a sitting position, soundless cries escaping his mouth as he fought through the pain. When he finally succeeded, he was rewarded with the sight of a ridiculously sized white rabbit. It didn't seem like other rabbits, though. It was thinner, yes, but the main difference was the spark of intelligence Zeke could see in its black eyes. It didn't seem to notice him at first, though, being preoccupied with the carrot it was munching away at. However, when the rabbit saw Zeke out of the corner of its eye, it dropped the carrot in shock, then bounded away, the sounds rapidly fading.

Undeterred by the strange occurrence, Zeke then attempted to look at himself. Even looking down hurt, though, and hurt badly. He involuntarily cried out in pain, sending more waves of torture through his body, especially his neck. Each spasm brought more misery, and he was swiftly reduced to tears. "Why is this happening?" he tried to say, but it both hurt intensely and came out as a hoarse, unintelligible mess of air and saliva and blood. Zeke decided to just stay still and evaluate his situation. Alright. Severely injured, no idea where I am or what happened, no... clothes. Well. On the bright side, he grimaced as he moved his arm up to feel the tightness in his chest, I got stitched up by someone, and this cushion is ungodly soft.

He lay there, breathing heavily for a few moments, until he heard - barely heard - a voice coming from somewhere behind him. "Um... excuse me..." The voice was very gentle and feminine, and Zeke let go of some tension he didn't realize he had. It sounded like his caretaker was kind at the very least. Of course, he never expected what he saw next. His mysterious benefactor approached the cushion with very light, hesitant footsteps and what sounded like Japanese fans. Sort of. Not at all. Zeke slowly turned his head toward her, swearing he could hear his neck creaking in protest. All thoughts of whether or not that was physically possible flew out the window when he saw that his rescuer was not in any way, shape, or form, human. Seeing the strange pink and yellow... horse, was the closest thing he could think of, finally cemented the truth in his mind. The giant wolf made entirely of wood, the huge rabbit, and now this brightly colored horse that was much larger than the rabbit and a bit smaller than the wolf... All of it added up to one logical conclusion. Toto, he thought wryly, we aren't in Kansas anymore.

Fluttershy was shocked, to say the least. Nothing, and that meant nothing could wake up so soon after sustaining such heavy injuries. Either the hamon was much tougher than he looked, or something strange was afoot, and Fluttershy might have - okay, wouldn't have - placed money on the latter. She reached the top of the stairs and looked over the banister, only to see the hamon convulsing wildly on the couch, sending blood spattering into the air. Some of the crimson liquid bubbled up from his mouth as he made a strange, wild grunting sound. Frightened, Fluttershy started to hide behind her mane, before remembering who she was and what she did. She glanced at her cutie mark of three butterflies to reassure herself. When she looked back, the hamon was feeling the stitches on his chest tentatively. She glided down the stairs, only touching the ground when she landed gracefully at the bottom.

"Um... excuse me..." she said quietly, so as to not startle the animal. At the sound of her voice, he seemed to relax a bit more. Okay, Fluttershy, good start. Now just go and do what you do best! She carefully made her way over to the couch using a strange combination of walking and flying that probably wouldn't have made sense to anypony watching. The hamon slowly looked at her, the small smile on his oddly pronounced lips turning into what Fluttershy could best guess was an expression of shock. He looks like he's never seen a pony before. Fluttershy paused, then nearly facehoofed. Well of course, it makes sense that he might not have seen a pony before. I mean, I've never seen anything quite like him before. She spoke again. "It's alright little guy, I'm not going to hurt you. Everything's going to be okay, I'm going to take good care of you." She used a soothing voice, the type of tone one usually reserved for foals and senile ponies. The hamon did not seem mollified by this one bit. However, his slack-jawed expression transformed into a strange mixture of mirth and despair. It was strange though; usually, Fluttershy could tell a lot just from an animal's eyes and facial expressions. With this one, though, she could hardly discern anything at all.

Yes, the land of magical talking horses, because WHY THE HELL NOT?!? Zeke couldn't tell exactly how he felt about that; compared to everything else that had happened, this was relatively tame. And yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was the lower degree of in-your-faceness that made it all the more disconcerting. This horse, apparently the one who had given him first aid, was also talking to him like he was a child, or... Zeke's blood grew cold. Or like he was an animal. Suddenly, he recalled a half-conscious memory. When he was being mauled by the wooden wolf, he hears someone scream something about getting away from an animal. That was it! This discovery made him want to laugh and cry at the same time, from the absurdity of the fact that the horse thought that he was an animal, and the thought that in whatever God-forsaken place he'd ended up in, he was just an animal. He closed his eyes and thought for a few seconds as choked laughter forced spasms of pain once more through him. Maybe, just maybe, it would be best to listen to what the yellow - and, he now realized, winged - horse (or would that be pegasus, then?) had to say. He put on his best poker face and mentally prepared himself for the ordeals that were sure to follow in the upcoming weeks. Zeke took a deep breath and stared intently at the pegasus, waiting to see exactly what she would say next.

Author's Note

Alright! So, ominous dream sequence, spooooooky, and yet very vital to the plot that made me give this a "Dark" tag - other than the gore at least.

All y'all reading this, I just have to say one thing: please, please, PLEASE comment. I want to know what you think of this, what you think I could do better, any mistakes I made; if you don't like it, please TELL me why you don't like it. If you just do that, I will be happy.

Also, I threw a reference in there. Twelve million internets to he or she who finds it.

Healing and Humiliation

The hamon's reaction startled Fluttershy, partly because she couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. He was coughing up blood at regular intervals - could he have been trying to laugh? Before she could make any real guesses, however, he stopped moving and just lay there, looking at her. His expression was another enigma; most animals wore their emotions very clearly, but Fluttershy couldn't see anything revealing in his face or his eyes. Uncertainly, she lowered herself to the floor to be on the hamon's current eye level. "I'm Fluttershy, and like I said, I'm going to make sure you get all better real soon. What's your name?" Maybe, just maybe, she'd learn how to communicate with it by learning its body language. Suddenly, she saw something in his eyes - a spark of something more than feral instinct. While she was looking at his eyes, he flicked them down toward his torso, then back up to her. He had to do it several more times before Fluttershy blushed and remembered he couldn't move. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive... But I need to have something to call you. Um... why don't I try to find a name that you think is ok?"

Zeke could hardly believe what he was hearing. Not only was this "Fluttershy" (he snorted internally at the name) treating him like an animal, she was going to try to NAME him now. There was no possible way this could end well, especially if names like hers were commonplace in - well, in wherever he was. He did his best to give a halfhearted shrug while injured and laying down. Surprisingly, it was even more difficult than it sounded. Seeing this acceptance, Fluttershy (Zeke suppressed another snort) began to list off names.

"Let's see... you don't have much hair... Skinny?" What? No. Nonononono NO. Zeke wasn't about to take a damn cowboy name. He shook his head emphatically. It hurt again.

"Monk?" No again.

"Slim?" Again with the god damn cowboy names!

"Tarzan?" What the... where did that even come from?!? How did they even have Tarzan?

"Do you like salad?" Uh... pardon? Zeke looked at her with confusion. Seeing that he hadn't heard her wrong, he gave a small nod. "Then how about Caesar?" He pondered it for a moment. Sure, she may have meant it like the salad, but it was the name of one of the greatest human leaders in history. And also, he thought, grinning at the irony, it's the name of that monkey in Planet of the Apes.

"Caesar it is, then," Fluttershy said, seeing the smile on his face. "Caesar, you're going to be just fine. Do you need anything? Food? Water? Another blanket?" Zeke's face fell as he felt a familiar sensation rising through him. No. No, not now, please, anything but that! His stomach began to heave, completely obliterating any sense of rationality or logical thought left in his mind. The pain only served to propel what was happening. He broke out in cold torrents of sweat and his eyes snapped open wide. His mouth fell open and emitted a high-pitched keening sound, followed by the inevitable result of painkillers, pain, and shock. In perhaps one of the most humbling moments of his life, Zeke hurled all over the couch and himself, stomach acid burning excruciatingly on his wounds. He began to shake in the aftermath, unable to comprehend anything but pain.

Seeing the newly dubbed Caesar in such a pitiful state only reinforced Fluttershy's idea that something happened to make him wake up. With a sad look on her face, she whisked the blanket off of him and carried him to her animal bath. He really is defenseless, isn't he? She thought. I mean, he's smaller than a filly, he doesn't have real claws, or wings, or fangs, or anything to protect himself. I would hate to think what would have happened if I hadn't gotten to him in time. As the handle of the faucet squeaked and water came pouring out, she felt Caesar flinch in her hooves. Startled, she looked down at him. He was grimacing, staring at the water in what appeared to be horror. His eyes flicked up toward her, then down at himself, then back at the water.

"Don't worry, Caesar, it's just water. I need to get you cleaned up, or your injuries might get infected." She smiled softly. "I don't want to see you hurt any more, so please, let me do this."

The strange animal looked terrified, but he closed his eyes and nodded slightly. Well that was good. Fluttershy carefully lowered him into the tub and picked up a sponge. She wetted it and began to dab Caesar's chest clean. He winced with every touch, and every time made Fluttershy feel worse and worse. By the end, she was almost in tears.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I tried not to, I really did my best, and I'm just sooo sorry!"

The apologies were getting seriously annoying now. Combined with the pain and the vomit and the overall awkwardness of being given a bath by a woman - a pony woman, but a woman nonetheless - all Zeke wanted to do was curl up and not do or see or hear or feel anything for several hours. And Fluttershy's incessant apologies were seriously cutting into the fourth stage of that plan. He wanted to scream, but he'd learned his lesson before. She laid him down on the ridiculously comfy couch again and asked if he needed anything. He looked to the blanket, and she covered him up. She stifled a yawn. "Well, if you're all settled in then, I'm going to go sleep... I mean, if that's okay with you. If you need anything, Angel will be right here." The white rabbit Zeke had seen earlier looked up at her as if to say, "are you crazy?" She fixed her eyes on him and a strange warbling sound came out of nowhere. The rabbit, Angel, flinched under the force of the glare and bounded up to the couch next to Zeke. Zeke responded by simply closing his eyes.

This... all of this, was just too much to take. He thought back over what had happened the past day or so. He'd been playing video games, then started floating and apparently was transported to another dimension or something, almost got eaten by a wooden wolf, then got sewn up by a big yellow pony with wings. Things could not have gotten any worse - or at least any weirder.

That was when his stomach began to growl.

Oh. My. God. He couldn't even talk, how the hell was he supposed to eat? Whatever the solution was, it couldn't end well. As his eyelids drooped farther and farther down, Zeke made a choice: cross the bridge on any and all problems when you come to it. It wouldn't do any good to worry about the future. And so, for the first time since arriving in this strange, colorful new world, Ezekiel Harrow slept voluntarily.

And woke up a few minutes later with an earsplitting sneeze and a round of coughing that, once again, caused much pain.

After a few more hours of groaning in pain and lamenting for what was left of his dignity, Zeke finally managed to fall asleep (with much difficulty of course), not looking forward to the next time he woke up.

Later that day...

Spike stumbled down the stairs at the Books & Branches Library, nearly tripping as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It was a bit of a pain to have to wake up before noon, but Twilight had apparently gotten into one of her moods. She'd come bursting through the door yelling at Spike to get... something. Something about books, and monsters, and stuff. Honestly though, she couldn't have waited five more minutes? He was having such a great dream, too. It was the one where he and Rarity had finally -

He blushed and shook his head, now wasn't the time to think about things like that. Twilight needed her Number One Assistant, even if said Assistant was still half asleep.

"Twiligh'?" he said groggily, shuffling into the main room. "Whaissit?"

Without even turning around from the shelf, the purple unicorn replied, "Spike, I need everything we have on monsters, the Everfree Forest, and monsters in the Everfree Forest, ASAP."

"Uh... Okay." Spike had finally started to wake up fully, or at least enough for him to remember to not question Twilight. "Any specific reason?" He began gathering books from around the library as he asked.

"Well Spike, I'm glad you asked. You see, I was planning a spa day with the girls today, but Fluttershy wasn't there, so Rainbow Dash flew off to look at her, and Rarity and AJ and I talked for a bit, and then Rainbow came back and told us that Fluttershy was shouting and there was a lot of blood, and so we went over there, and Angel Bunny was being stubborn as always, but then Fluttershy let us in and told us that she had to do a very urgent surgery and she showed us what she had to operate upon, and it wasn't anything I remember ever seeing, and so I was thinking that I should look and see if there was any information on it in the books because if there isn't that means it's a new species and that would be huge news to the scientific community, do you understand what this could mean?" Twilight had gotten right in Spike's face for the last part of this hideous monstrosity of a sentence and her eyes almost seemed to sparkle - in any case, her irises and pupils were at the very least three times larger than normal.

Spike gently pushed her muzzle away with a single claw. "Okay, Twi, how about this? I'll do some reading, and you go and get some sleep, huh? You've turned into Pinkie Pie, and more than one of those is more than one too many."

Twilight just burst out laughing. "Ha, ha, you're right, I'm just like Pinkie, maybe I will go sleep, yeah, sleep sounds good, it sounds really good right now, I think I'm gonna do that, you read, haaaaa." Her horn began to glow as if she was charging a spell, but she just fell over on her face, where she proceeded to motor her back legs and push herself across the floor. She stopped when her head hit the foot of the stairs, and her flank fell over, leaving her snoring on the rough wood surface. Spike just shook his head.

Hours later, Twilight finally woke up with a terrible hornache and deep grooves dug into her cheek. Blearily, she looked around, only to see a purple blob surrounded by huge piles of different colored blobs. As she got shakily to her feet, the blobs coalesced into Spike and many towering stacks of books. "Spike? Why do you have all of these books out?" She asked in bewilderment.

He lowered the book he was currently working through and gave her a deadpan look. "You told me to, remember? You said Fluttershy found a new animal, and - "

"That's right!" Twilight exclaimed loudly. "I wanted to do some more research on the... hamon... there's something weird about it, that I can't quite put my hoof on. Did you find anything good?"

"Well, no. But it isn't my fault! You never told me what the animal - you said it was called a hamon? - looked like. I marked some things that I thought you might want to look at - that pile over there." He pointed to a stack far larger than the rest, teetering precariously under its own weight. Looking up, Twilight gulped.

"We have a lot of work ahead of us."

Author's Note

Well hot DAMN it's been a while, hasn't it? Jesus Christ, I am sorry about this, everyone. I last updated this in March? Dang. Well uh... yeah

Hopefully, I will be updating this more often - that is, if school, and family, and writer's block don't interfere - but in any case, there won't be an 8 month gap between this chapter and the next.

Reconstruction

Angel Bunny sat on the couch in Fluttershy's cottage, impatiently waiting for his caretaker and - although he wasn't about to admit it to anypony - friend to return. As much as he gave her a hard time, he still loved her for what she had done for him. He'd been one of the many orphaned animals in the Everfree, and Fluttershy had given him a home and a new family. Still, he could push the timid pegasus around and made full use of the fact. He knew when to back off though, and he knew when Fluttershy was deadly serious. Obviously, she was the latter right now. He could hear her calling off in the distance, something about clearing off the table RIGHT NOW, and that could only mean she'd found YET ANOTHER injured animal in the forest. Angel sighed and bounded over to the low dining table that doubled as a makeshift surgeon's bench. Eyeing the dishes and napkins that cluttered the wooden surface critically, he decided on a course of action. That being settled, he moved to one end, hopped up, and gave an almighty kick that somehow managed to send everything crashing to the ground on the other side.

Angel idly wondered what animal it was going to be this time. Hopefully nothing as dramatic as the time she brought in that manticore. Angel shuddered. He still had nightmares. And, 3...2...1...

It was a good thing that doors in Equestria as a general rule didn't have locks or bolts of any kind. This being such, Fluttershy was able to burst into her cottage, wings still pumping frantically, and race to the dining room where Angel was waiting for her. As she deposited her newest patient on the table, the pegasus was able to get a good look at it for the first time. When she first saw it, she thought it was some kind of hairless monkey. It had the same basic body structure as a primate, so it was a fairly understandable mistake. Now that she looked at it again though, she began noticing some key features. First of all, it appeared to be a male. Fluttershy blushed and moved on to the rest of its - his - body. His spine seemed to be straighter than that of a normal simian, and the proportions were off as well. Its - his, Fluttershy had to remind herself again - legs were too long, his arms were too short, and his chest was wider and less concave. Its feet - HIS feet - did not seem like they would be able to move with the same dexterity as a monkey's. The head was much larger proportionally, whereas the dull green eyes were much smaller, and no discernibly protruding muzzle existed. There were also very few places on the creature where hair grew, namely his head - where it was black and stubbly - a bit under his arms and a bit on his chest - where it was long and straight -, and -

Fluttershy coughed and forced herself to look back at the animals injuries. What she saw - truly saw, this time - almost made her emulate Angel, who had taken one look at the thing and gone to throw up out in the garden. Holes almost the size of a bit dotted the animal's frail torso and legs, rapidly filling with blood, and shallow, ragged, weeping gashes had been torn across his throat, from his left shoulder to the bottom of his rib cage, and across his legs above the knee. Splinters of wood stuck out of each bite wound; those seemed deeper than the claw marks, thank goodness - none of the bites had struck any vital place. If this animal's internal organs were situated in the same way as a normal simian's - as was most probably the case - and the slash injuries were any more severe, one of the wolf's claws would have gone... right through his heart. The Element of Kindness shuddered.

I have to try my best, Fluttershy thought. Trying to ignore the fast, heavy thumping of her heart, she walked over to a cabinet on the wall and retrieved a box. Unlatching it, she nosed around before pulling out a pair of tweezers, a bottle of antiseptic, and a needle and thread.

Greetings came from all around as Twilight Sparkle walked through town. Although she wasn't as popular as, say, Pinkie Pie, the mare was still well liked. Of course, that wasn't saying much considering the townsponys' friendly overall dispositions. Twilight and her friends had made plans a few days earlier to go in for a girls' day at the spa (Twilight still couldn't believe that Rarity had convinced Rainbow Dash to go along with it after the "Gabby Gums" incident) and Twilight always had to be places early - that's just the type of pony she was. "Morning, Carrot Top! Hello, Doctor!" Twilight waved to various ponies she knew around town. "How are you... Lyra?"

The mint-green unicorn was standing as still as a statue, ramrod straight, staring off intensely toward the Everfree Forest, a rictus grin plastered on her face.

"Um... Lyra? Are you okay?" Twilight waved a hoof in front of the other mare's face. Her eyes didn't even recognize the movement.

"Don't bother, she's been like that all morning." Twilight turned to see an off-white earth pony smiling sheepishly. "I don't know what's gotten into her - she won't say anything, and I don't think she's blinked in ten minutes."

"Uh, okay..." Twilight backed off slowly. "Well, have a good day!" she called as she walked off.

"Bye!" Bon Bon waited until the librarian was out of sight before she dropped the fake grin. "Honestly, Lyra, what has gotten into you?" she asked her frozen roommate.

Slowly, Lyra's head began to turn. She looked at Bon Bon with the same creepy expression. "It's here," she rasped.

Putting the odd business with Lyra behind her, Twilight continued her steady pace to the salon. Her mind began to wander, and she yawned as she shook her head to wake up. It wasn't like she hadn't pulled all-nighters before, so why was she so TIRED after this one? Must have been that spell, she decided. Suddenly, an unstoppable wall of energy slammed into Twilight from the side, driving her onto the ground in an alley between two buildings. Spitting a rock out of her mouth, Twilight coughed. "Good morning to you too, Pinkie."

The hyperactive mare was already talking. "TWILIGHT! Oh my gosh, I'm sooo glad I found you! My Pinkie Sense is acting up again! Twitchy left eye, itching belly, vibrating right hind hoof... straight tail? Straight tail! Now normally, a twitchy left eye, itching belly, and vibrating right hind hoof mean that Fluttershy got a new animal, but I'm not sure what the straight tail changes it all to, but I DO know that something is going to happen, I don't know what, but there's SOMETHING!" Pinkie inhaled deeply, but was interrupted via a hoof in the mouth before she could continue with her babbling.

"If we don't know what it's about, why don't we just forget about it for now and try to have fun with our spa day? Alright?" Twilight asked. Pinkie's head bobbed vigorously up and down. "Great." Twilight smiled and removed her hoof. "Now, let's find the others. Rarity's probably already there, and Fluttershy is most likely with her.... Have you seen Applejack?"

"Oh yeah, she was almost there when I came to look for you!" The pink mare replied enthusiastically.

"And Rainbow Dash?"

A voice came from the air. "Right here, Twi." The cyan pegasus swooped down and stopped on a dime in front of her friends. "Hey, just so we're clear, I'm only going because you want me to be there, okay? I'm not going for any other reason," she overenunciated.

"Alright Rainbow, whatever you say." Twilight attempted to stifle a grin.

One unimportant short walk later...

The doors to the spa swung open rather dramatically, lifting eyes from ponies everywhere from the front desk to the mud baths in back. When they saw that it was nopony particularly important, all of them went back to their business. "Hello, girls! Oh, we're going to have such fun today!" This exclamation came from the mares' fashionable friend Rarity. The alabaster unicorn trotted over to them (followed by a familiar orange earth pony), happy at first, then somewhat confused. "Well now, where's Fluttershy?" she inquired.

"We thought she was going to be with you," Twilight countered. "She's not?"

"No, I haven't seen her all morning. This IS strange."

"Well maybe... Rainbow, could you-"

"YeahI'monitI'llseeyougirlslaterhavefun," the clearly uncomfortable pegasus (keeping to her own name) dashed out the door and quickly rose into the sky, whooping with glee.

"I guess she wasn't kidding about not wanting to come after all," Twilight remarked after a pause.

"Oh you would not believe what I had to go through to even get her to come here at all!" Rarity gushed.

The girls chit-chatted for a few minutes when Rainbow Dash suddenly burst back through the door, gasping for breath.
"Rainbow, what's wrong?" Twilight asked in alarm.

"Fluttershy... bad... shouting... blood..." Dash panted.

"What?!?" cried various voices

"Ah'm sorry y'all, but spa day ain't as important as helpin' our friend out!" Applejack cried as she raced out the door, followed quickly by the others.

Rarity lingered a moment. "Aloe, Lotus, I'm so sorry to have to reschedule again, but..."

"Not a problem ma'am, come back anytime." The spa ponies smiled and waved as the unicorn charged out the door after her friends.

Fluttershy had done all she could to save the poor creature. She'd cleaned his wounds and done her best to sew him up, but his skin seemed exceedingly fragile. There had been a point where it looked like she was going to lose him though, and she may have raised her voice at Angel just a tiny bit, but she had apologized instantly, of course. All-in-all, it was a very harrowing experience. As she gently moved the poor thing to the couch, Angel bounded up and wiped the sweat from her brow. She thanked him and covered her patient up with a blanket. She looked at the animal, then decided that she couldn't just keep calling it "the animal". "Hmm..." she thought aloud. "Well, he looks like a hairless monkey, kind of, so... I'll just call him a hamon. That is, at least until he wakes up and can tell me what he's really called," she amended hastily.

Angel looked at her with a worried look on his face. Are you sure you're alright? You look really tired.

"Oh don't worry, I'll be fine. I just need to take a bit of a rest, that's all." Fluttershy smiled wearily. "I'll be..." she yawned. "I'll be in my room if you need me." The strain of a high-risk surgery combined with having Angel wake her up early to find that plant did a number on Fluttershy's mental capabilities. Nothing could have sounded better than a little bit of sleep right now - except maybe knowing that the hamon would be alright. But, she couldn't know for a while more, so sleep was the best course of action. Right as she was drifting into an almost coma-like state, she heard voices. Oh no! I forgot today was supposed to be spa day! Fluttershy called off as she fluttered groggily down the stairs. "It's okay, Angel, you can let them in."

When the group of friends finally made it to Fluttershy's cottage, they saw at least part of what Rainbow Dash had been so worked up about. In multiple places along the path, the dirt and rocks were splattered with blood and the grass was all blown back toward the modest cottage, where the door swung ajar. Naturally, Applejack and Rainbow had made it to the cottage several minutes before the others and were seemingly having a heated debate with Angel.

"Look, sugarcube," AJ reasoned, "Ah know yer worried about Fluttershy, but so'r we! Let us in, please." The bunny was obstinate. He crossed his paws and shook his head.

"This is pointless!" Dash seethed "We're going in whether you want us to or not!"

Angel stomped his paw on the threshold, making his intent clear: he was not moving. A quiet, breathy voice came from inside the darkened house. "It's okay, Angel, you can let them in."

"Fluttershy!" The girls screamed in relief. They swarmed into the house and engulfed their friend in a warm group hug.

"Oh dear heavens, Fluttershy! You're injured!" Rarity exclaimed.

"What?" Fluttershy was very confused. "No I'm not."

"Then why..." Rarity swallowed audibly. Her voice trembled. "Why do have blood on your muzzle and hooves?"

Every single pony in the room gasped except Fluttershy. "Then does that combination mean somepony is going to become a serial killer?" Pinkie wondered aloud.

"No, it's okay, it's fine!" Fluttershy reassured everypony. "I just had to do an emergency surgery and, well... I guess I forgot to wash up." She blushed and gave a sheepish smile. "I'll go... do that... now." She ran off, and the others could hear water running. When she came back, her yellow coat was as clean as ever.

"So what 'emergency surgery' did you have to do that made you sound so panicky when I came looking for you, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked belligerently, slightly miffed that they'd gotten all scared over nothing.

"Well," Fluttershy took a deep breath. "I think the only way to actually get you to understand is to show you." She gestured to the couch, where the others noticed for the first time something bundled up in a blanket. They trotted over to it.

"What... what is it?" Twilight asked.

"I'm not sure. I call him a hamon, because he looks like a hairless monkey, but I don't know what he's really called."

"Where did you find this... hamon... exactly?"

"I found him in the Everfree Forest, but -" She was cut off by almost all of her friends speaking up at once.

"The Everfree Forest?!?"

"Fluttershy, you of all ponies should know how dangerous that place is! How could you -"

"This thing might be a threat! You should -"

"Um..."

"For all we know, this could be another parasprite incident!"

"Haven't you learned anything at all?"

"Can't say Ah think it's the best ahdea to keep this critter in yer house."

"Excuse me..."

"We can take it back now, it has to be close to waking up doesn't it?"

"I haven't seen anything like this before; might not be safe."

"Just put it back in the forest."

"Would you all BE QUIET AND LET ME EXPLAIN!" Fluttershy's voice rang out amidst the clamor. She was breathing hard, her eyes dilated to... well, much smaller than normal. Everypony got the idea and shut up. Fluttershy closed her eyes. Slowly, her breathing calmed and she opened her eyes. Her friends relaxed as they saw the large, expressive eyes their friend belonged with.

"I'm sorry... Um... " She seemed on the verge of backing down when her gaze strayed back to the hamon and hardened. "When I found him," she began again, "He was being attacked by a timberwolf. You're saying I should just take him back to the forest? Let me show you why I can't do that." She peeled back the blanket covering the hamon's torso.

There was a stunned silence. "I think I'm going to be sick," Rainbow Dash muttered. Although Fluttershy had done her best, there were still several places where blood was soaking through the bandages, and the animal's skin was stretched tight and pink and ragged near the scratch marks. Fluttershy glared at the mares surrounding her, all of whom were recoiling away in various states of shock.

"Do you understand now?"

Notification

Hey all. I'm afraid that, until further notice, this story will be put on hold. I was given the opportunity to work on an amazing project with a great group of people in the Chess Game of the Gods. If you don't know what it is, I'd highly suggest that you check out some of the stories in it. Now this does not mean that I will no longer be working on this ever - when my part of the project is finished, I'll return to this and Vampire Slayer Lulamoon, hopefully with a more regular update schedule.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I'll see you all on the other side.