Half-Life X MLP: The Lost Timeline

by GordonFreebrony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Gore
Length: 30863

Gordon Freeman finds himself trapped in Equestria after a teleporter accident in the Black Mesa Lambda Core.

Please Note: This is a Half-Life Crossover, so there will be gore.... and language... and bad puns/references (Ever seen the Minds?)... Just a warning.

The timeline from the original Half-Life game is split just before the final teleportation scene. Gordon finds himself trapped in Equestria, a seemingly peaceful dimension inhabited by three separate races of sentient ponies. However, the peace is shattered when elements of both Earth and Xen begin to bleed through the second inter-dimensional rift Gordon had created. (The first being the initial resonance cascade).

Published 2013-03-13 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-12 20:57:42 UTC

Chapter 1: Anomalous Lifeforms Detected

Gordon Freeman looked down on the small Einstein-like scientist in front of him, rendered speechless by the insanity of the plan the scientist wanted him to go along with. He was glad that there had been plenty of ammunition for all of his weapons, in fact his suit's ammunition monitor had told him he could store no more in the suit itself, but the damn scientists were asking the near impossible from him. Close the rift and leave himself stranded in Xen? Bah.

He was still surprised that the suit had spots for all of the weapons he had with him, even the grenades. There were some hidden holsters for his pistols, a hook for his crowbar, a few grooves for his MP5 and SPAS-12, and even a large system for his rocket launcher on his back. His crossbow folded and was placed into a recessed grove on his left side. His grenades attached to a belt, along with his satchel charges. Of course, the prototype ray-gun that he found had to hang from a strap, and the strange bee-shooting alien just attached itself to his back next to his launcher. The long-jump module the scientist had also given him had attached itself to a spot on his lower back, and seemed to have it’s own power system, and would not drain his suit for a while at least.

‘Come on, Gordon, we only have a small window of opportunity here, and my colleague is almost ready.”

Gordon just stared at him, contemplating whacking him over the head with his crowbar. However, at that exact moment, he heard a voice over the loudspeaker.

”Gordon, come on, I don’t know how long this system will last.”

Gordon sighed inwardly, but then approached the large blast doors that lead into the experimentation chamber. When the doors opened, Gordon gasped, looking at the size of the contraption in front of him. It was as if a three-fingered alien cyborg had reached up from the pit below in an attempt to grab the ceiling, but had stopped half-way, fingers half-clenched.

“Gordon, we are about to start the process. I don’t know exactly what will happen, as this is one of the earlier prototypes and it was never designed to operate under these conditions. I want you to be ready for anything that might come through, and to keep them off of me if they do. I must concentrate on my work in order for the portal to open completely. Are you ready Gordon?”

Gordon simply nodded, struck by the amount of funding that would have had to pour into this department for this system to have been created.

”Good. Starting sequence in three… Two… One… First sequence initiated.”

The machine whirred to life at his words, sparks and arks leaping off of it. A few seconds after that, four or five balloon-headed creatures appeared and started throwing balls of energy at Gordon.

It took Gordon a second to realize he was under fire. He grabbed his revolver, feeling that the .357 rounds should be able to knock the creatures down quite easily. He took aim and fired. One of the creatures crumpled and fell to the ground. He dispatched the rest of the creatures in a similar fashion. Just after he killed the last one, he heard the scientist begin to speak.

“Sequence is at 50% complete. Almost there Freeman.”

As he said this, more of the creatures began pouring in. Gordon took them out with apparent ease, although they started to pour in faster than he could kill them. Finally, the scientist yelled out over the noise of the creatures and the whirring of the machines.

“Gordon, the portal is open. Don’t worry about me, just head for the portal, I don’t know how long the system can maintain it. Run Freeman!”

Gordon did not even bother to try to respond. He just bolted for the portal. As he ran towards the portal, preparing to jump the last few feet, he heard the scientist yell something else.

“Gordon, wait, the phase imbalance is too high, the portal is becoming unstable, don’t…”

Gordon heard these words as he jumped, but it was too late, Gordon could only hope that it would work. Time seemed to slow as Gordon flew through the air, and he saw the room beginning to fall apart. He heard the door opening behind him, but he could not turn to see who or what had entered. Gordon could only watch as he touched the portal….

Time zoomed back to normal at this point, and as he touched the portal, a huge explosion of sound and rainbow-colored light appeared, then nothing, just blackness. Gordon could hear his own breath, but nothing else. Then a flash of green light, and Gordon felt himself falling. He tried to right himself, but he was not fast enough. He hit the ground with a loud thud. He heard a few cracks, and he felt like he had fractured a few ribs and maybe a leg. The suit should take care of that he though, but then he heard the female voice of the suit saying, “Anomalous surge detected, rebooting to compensate.” However, he couldn’t be bothered with this, as the world around him began stretching into a long black-edged tunnel. He heard, as if from far away, a small shriek. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was a large mountain, and on a ridge connected to the mountain, a pale man in a blue suit, carrying a briefcase. The man looked familiar, but Gordon’s semi-conscious mind could not place him. Then everything went black.

________________________________

Fluttershy was hiking through the forest, climbing up a small mountain. One of the squirrels had complained that a badger had been climbing in her tree and would not stop messing with her house. She had come to help the badger find his own home, and to get him to stop Badgering, Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle at her own pun, the squirrel. She continued up a mountain, and could see a clearing ahead. The squirrel was still chattering away to her, and she continued to listen. Just before entering the clearing, however, the squirrel stopped and looked up.

“What is it?” Fluttershy said, but the squirrel couldn’t say. Then out of nowhere a huge ball of green, arcing magic appeared in the clearing, at about the top of the trees. Fluttershy ran behind a large tree nearby, shaking with fear. She heard a thud, as if some creature had fallen, and then a strage voice said “Anomalous surge detected. Rebooting to compensate.” The voice was so foreign, so alien that she couldn’t help but shriek. She just stood there for a few minutes, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, she peered around the tree, all thought of her squirrel friend forgotten. She saw something orange in the clearing, and pulled her head back sharply. She took another look, and when the orange thing didn’t move, she tiptoed closer to see what it was.

What lay before her was the strangest creature she had ever seen. It had orange and black skin, except for the head, which was a strange light pink, almost peach. The orange and black skin seemed like an insect’s but the head was covered in a fleshy substance. It had some brown hair on its head, and it seemed to have four eyes, two were open and placed in front of the two that were closed. Its body seemed to have four main limbs, and a large number of smaller protrusions from its torso. The four limbs at the lower part of its body had black hooves, but they were shaped strangely, like an oval, and had strange wavy texture on the bottom. The two upper limbs also ended in the same black substance as the lower ones, but there were five smaller appendages, similar to the fingers on the monkeys she had seen. However, no animal she had seen before looked anything like this one. She walked around the thing and gasped at the large fleshy tumor attached to the outside of the thing. She thought she should remove it, but if it was a part of the creature, she didn’t want to hurt it. She needed someone who could find out what this thing was, and her first thought was her friend, Twilight Sparkle. She took one last look at the strange creature, and then jumped into the air to fly back and get help. She returned a few minutes later, Twilight galloping along behind her, and saw the creature again. It didn’t appear to have moved.

”What is that thing?” Twilight said, “I’ve never even heard of something even close to this thing. Maybe we should wait and see wha….” She trailed off as a small beep came from the creature and a strange female voice began to speak…

______________________________

Gordon woke slowly, his chest hurting. He couldn’t remember what he did last night. Something to do with the experiment. Did it work? He fought consciousness for a few more seconds, but the he heard a beep, and then the HEV suit’s voice began speaking.

“Welcome to the H.E.V. Mark IV protective system. For use in hazardous environment conditions. High-impact reactive armour activated. Atmospheric contaminant sensors activated. Vital sign monitoring activated. Automatic medical systems engaged. Weapon selection system activated. Munition level monitoring activated. Communications interface online. Have a very safe day. WARNING Major fractures detected, Minor concussion detected, minor lacerations detected, morphine administered.”

As the suit listed his injuries, his memories flooded back, the Resonance Cascade, the ensuing struggle through the giant mass of Black Mesa, and then the portal that the Lambda Team made him enter. He opened his eyes at this point, but almost immediately closed them as the light from the sun blinded him. His head pounded painfully. He waited until the morphine had been completely absorbed and he couldn’t feel the pain, and then he opened his eyes slowly.

He was outside, sitting in a small clearing in the woods. It seemed very peaceful, except… Something was off about this place, the air was a little too sweet, the trees just a few shades to bright, and the thick black lines surrounding everything were…. Wait a minute, Gordon thought, Thick black lines? This isn’t earth, where am I? As he looked around confused, he suddenly remembered the very last seconds before entering the portal, the brilliant flash of rainbow-light, the sound like a gunshot on steroids. He was in another dimension, completely alien to Earth and Xen. And yet… All of this looked very similar to Earth.

After his brief ruminations on this new dimension, Gordon felt that the suit had healed him enough to search his surroundings and see if there was some food around. He hadn’t eaten since the bowl of noodles he stole from Fred that morning before the experiment. As he sat up and grabbed the shotgun, he heard the suit beep again and say “Anomalous lifeforms detected.” Gordon immediately went into a defensive stance, looking around for any threat…

_________________________________-

Twilight watched the creature as it spoke in it’s strange voice. After saying a few things that confused Twilight, What is a munition level and why does it need to be monitored? she watched as the creature opened its eyes and seemed to get its bearings. Then it sat up and stood on its two hind limbs, and looked around. Then it reached towards its back and pulled off one of the protruding limbs. It looked around one more time, and then said “Anomalous lifeforms detected.” It meant her and Fluttershy! Twilight realized as the creature went into what was unmistakably a defensive stance, scanning around. Twilight decided that action had to be taken, and turned to Fluttershy and whispered, “Come on, we should try to calm this thing, it looks scared and confused, not angry or anything.” Fluttershy took a deep breath and then nodded. Twilight was surprised at this, Fluttershy was usually very, well, shy, and fearful of everything. She would cower before talking to anypony, except of course their tight-knit group of friends. Twilight was proud of her friend, overcoming her fears to help this thing that had apparently appeared out of some sort of green magic field.

“I’ll go first,” Fluttershy whispered, “I could try to calm this thing down.” Fluttershy was shaking worse than ever, but the resolve was evident in her eyes. Twilight put a comforting hoof on her shoulder, and then followed Fluttershy into the clearing. As she moved through the underbrush, Fluttershy said in a calming, albeit scared, voice “It’s okay, w-w-we don’t want to hurt you.”

__________________________________

Gordon turned as a rustling was heard in the bush behind him. He put his shotgun up to his shoulder and went into a crouch, his every instinct telling him to shoot before whatever was in the bush could attack. He started to pull the trigger when a wavering voice came out from the bush.

It’s okay, w-w-we don’t want to hurt you.”

Gordon slightly lowered his weapon as what was unmistakably a Bright yellow horse came through the bush, followed by a purple one. As Gordon looked, he noticed that he wasn’t quite correct. The purple one must have been some sort of unicorn, with a small horn protruding from its forehead, while the yellow one had some sort of feathery growths on either side of its body. The two horse-like things stared at him and he stared back, thinking that the morphine may have affected his brain… Wait, thought Gordon , There is no maybe about it… I’m tripping BALLS

Gordon was still trying to figure out if he was actually safe, for all he knew, he was surrounded by some new alien creatures, and his morphine-induced brain was showing him these instead as these things in front of him, when the yellow one spoke. “Are you ok? We heard you talking about having fractured something. Do you need help?”

Gordon watched the two creatures in front of him, trying to bring himself together. He realized that the suit would have been monitoring his bloodstream, and would never have given him enough of a dose to instigate hallucinations. In fact, the only logical explanation was that the creatures in front of him were real, and sentient. Well, Gordon thought, better answer them. He prepared what he hoped was a lucid response upon meeting a new species, then discared the whole plan and decided to wing it.

“What are you?” He tried to say, but no sound came out. “What the…” he mouthed, unable to make his voicebox work. He tried to remember if anything could have made him mute. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t said anything since the night before the experiment. That night he celebrated the finding of such a pure sample, and the next morning he was too tired to talk to anyone and just monotonously put on his suit. When he finally did wake up fully, he didn’t have the chance to say anything as the lab boys in the control room and the test chamber doors didn’t give him the chance to speak. When the resonance cascade happened, he was too horrified by the visions and the aftermath to really feel like talking. Now that he was mute, he realized he would not be able to communicate with these strange things. Unless….

_____________________________________

Twilight looked at Fluttershy, the fear evident in her face as the creature stared them down. They looked back at the creature, who seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle, and waited. Finally, the creature seemed to make a decision and opened it’s mouth, moving it around as if to talk, but no sound came out. The creature scrunched up its face, and looked down at its neck, absentmindedly moving it’s mouth again as it rubbed it’s throat with one of its paws, lowering the black limb it had pulled off of it’s back.

“Umm, Fluttershy,” Twilight said as she saw it place the black limb back on it’s back and pull of another, red limb with a hook on one end, and a light gray color on both tips, “I think it might be unfriendly.”

The creature looked up at Twilight as she said this, and shook its head and snorted. Then it reached down with the red limb that it had, and dragged it through the ground. It seemed to be trying to communicate something, but in some sort of sign language. As twilight looked, the lines in the dirt began to take up familiar shapes. Not sign language, Twilight thought, but written language! And she began to read.

Hello, My name is Gordon Freeman. What and who are you? Where am I? was written on the ground.

“ Well, uhh, Gourdin Freamane,” Twilight said, trying to pronounce the name, “I am Twilight Sparkle, and my friend here is Fluttershy. We are in the land of Equestria, more specifically the forest surrounding Ponyville. I am a unicorn, and my friend here is a pegasus. She saw you appear out of some sort of green magical field and she came and got me. What are you and why can’t you talk? We heard your voice earlier, talking about anomalous lifeforms and tuition levels or something.”

______________________________________

Gordon looked up sharply as the purple unicorn answered his questions. Unicorns, pegasi? thought Gordon I am definitely not in Kansas anymore, Gordon continued to roll over what she had said as he thought of a good response.

He leaned over and dragged his crowbar through the dirt once more. Do you have a pencil and paper to write with? This will take a while

Not only that, Gordon thought, I’m gonna run out of room here. He surveyed the unicorn named Twilight as she twisted her head to read his scrambled writing. Gordon was still in shock over the fact that he had gone from the chaotic events at Black Mesa into this seemingly peaceful place.

“Hmmm…” Twilight said, “I think I have just the thing back at my house in Ponyville. Follow me.”

Gordon obediently followed, but he remained vigilant. He put his crowbar away and pulled out his 9mm pistol. It may seem peaceful here, thought Gordon, but I’m not stupid.
End

Author's Note

I admit that there are a few plot and characteristical, uhh, Anomalies, but can we please not fill this with hate? I created this project with the hopes of bringing joy to the readers. If you didn't like it, I will accept constructive criticism, but not hate.
Also, if there is a specific pony you would like to see in the next chapter, let me know, and I will try to work them in. I will also accept plot advice, but be warned, it may not be added in, or even acknowledged. If I have a better plan in my mind, then that is what I shall use.

Chapter 2: Unknown Energy Signatures

Chapter 2: Unknown Energy Signatures

Gordon Freeman walked along the small forest path, keeping a vigilant eye on the horizon. His 9mm pistol was in his hand, and he was ready to use it. His eyes darted back and forth, checking for possible threats, and at a random moment he would quickly turn around and check to see if there was anyone or anything following him.

Gordon’s eyes caught a flash of yellow and purple to his right, but he dismissed it. He doubted that the two small ponies could do much harm, although the unicorn might be able to rip a few chunks off his face before he could shoot her. However they seemed to be rather peaceable, and he could tell they were afraid of him. Good, thought Gordon Fear would make hostilities less likely. Gordon was still shocked at the strangeness of this dimension.

While they were walking, The purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle spoke of Equestria. She told of how it was a world populated solely by sentient ponies, although the animals possessed some sentience, and how there were three separate groups of ponies. The earth ponies seemed exactly like horses from Earth, nothing really special about them. They were usually farmers or herders. The Pegasi were ponies with wings who could fly, and apparently controlled the weather. Right, thought Gordon, These ponies must be in stage of cultural development similar to the Middle Ages from Earth. Pegasi controlling the weather, sheesh. Twilight also went on to explain how the unicorns could use magic to perform many tasks, including levitation, teleportation, and time travel. Gordon looked up at this and snorted. So they posses a form of technology too advanced for the other races, and call it magic. Do all worlds have to be like this? I admit they might have some limited form of telekinesis, but true magic, even with slightly different laws of physics, is impossible. Twilight continued to talk, informing Gordon of the ruling class, the Alicorns, who were some sort of blend between the pegasi and the unicorns. Apparently, the current ruler, Princess Celestia, took credit for the rising of the sun, while her sister, Princess Luna, took credit for the moon. Also, the Alicorns seemed to have an extremely long lifespan, having managed to keep their rule for over a thousand years. Gordon was surprised that the rulers maintained both the appearance of being benign and fair and the illusion that they can “raise” the sun and the moon.

Gordon felt they had been meandering through the forest for at least an hour, when the forest suddenly gave way to a large valley. The sun shone down on a peaceful-looking, brightly colored town nestled in the valley. A few trails of smoke came from the chimneys, but other than that, no signs of life were visible. Gordon instinctively crouched behind a large boulder, peering around the edge cautiously.

“What are you doing that for?” asked Twilight, “That’s Ponyville. Not many ponies are up at this time in the morning. Come on, I’ll show you around.

Gordon stood slowly from behind the boulder, replacing his pistol in its holster and retrieving his MP5. Although Twilight and Fluttershy had appeared friendly and helpful, Gordon still did not know the disposition of the rest of their kind. If trouble were to happen, Gordon would be prepared.

As they approached the town, Gordon became increasingly nervous. The buildings seemed to be growing closer together. The small alleyways between the houses could hide a large number of enemy forces. Those shut windows could have snipers behind them. There could be mines under the ground. Pull yourself together, Gordon thought, there is no way that anything can go—

“HI THERE!” shouted this large, pink, bobbing mass that sprang up in front of him. Gordon backed up and pulled the trigger on his gun automatically, releasing a stream of stream of bullets…
_____________________________
Pinkie Pie woke up suddenly, sleep dragging at her mind. She finally shook all the last nooks and crannies of sleep from her unkempt mane and began to walk toward the bathroom. However, on her way, she felt her hair start to twitch.
There’s somepony new in town!” she half-shouted. “I aught to say hello.”

She bounced out of her house, heading in the direction of the forest. Just before she reached the end of the road, she stopped and listened. She heard the crunch of hooves on dirt coming from the road on the other side of the house on her left. I think I will go take a peek She thought to herself, Maybe I can surprise the new pony with a nice hello. She proceeded to sneak through the alleyway, watching and waiting until she saw a strange creature walking past, carrying a large gray something. A few seconds later she saw Twilight and Fluttershy walking behind him. This is my chance, Pinkie thought, here I go.

Pinkie was unbothered by the fact that the new pony wasn’t a pony. If Twilight and Fluttershy were with it, than it was worth saying hello to. She snuck up on her belly, being very quiet. As she passed Twilight and Fluttershy, she put a hoof up to her lips. Then she tiptoed up behind the creature, and staying low, carefully walked around it and jumped into the air.
“HI THERE!” She shouted. However, the creature, instead of being mildly surprised, backed up suddenly and then a loud noise like a construction crew's hammering exploded from the gray thing in its hand…
_____________________________
Gordon missed! As he backed up, he had stepped on a large, uneven stone beneath him and fell as he pulled the trigger. He instead hit the side of the house next to him, an then landed hard on his back. He heard another loud crack in his chest, followed by the sound of his HEV suit. “Minor Re-Fracturing detected. Morphine levels dangerously high. Seek external medical attention.” Gordon would have cursed then if he could. His chest ached, even with the morphine that was already in his system. He sat up then, noticing that Twilight, Fluttershy and the pink thing, Wait no, a pony! Gordon realized, were cowering away from him, clutching their ears wit their hooves. He also noticed that many of the doors around him had opened, showing many different ponies and unicorns peering out of the doorframes. He made an apologetic gesture, wincing as his cracked ribs grated against themselves. He sheepishly put his MP5 away, realizing that there would be too many ponies here to reasonably take care of, even if he wanted too. After a short while, Twilight seemed to regain her bearings, and shakily led him to her house, a large tree in the middle of the town.

She handed him a quill and a piece of paper, a small cloud of purple haze surrounding both the utensils and her horn. Gordon looked curiously at this, but then took the paper and wrote What do you want to know? across the top of the page.

Twilight read the note, and then asked in a quavering voice, “What was that thing you did out there?”

Gordon thought for a moment, but then decided to be completely truthful. I used a weapon called a gun. It… He trailed off at this point, thinking of how to word it. …propels pointed projectiles, called bullets, made of metal at high speeds. The sound you heard was the explosion of chemicals inside the bullets, and the bullets breaking the sound barrier. Your pink friend startled me, and I apologize for using the weapon, but you would not believe what I have been through to get here.
Gordon watched as Twilight, Fluttershy, and the pink pony read his writing. Gordon waited patiently as they soaked up what he wrote. After they finished, the pink pony looked up and said “Huh? I got as far as weapon, but what are these bullet thingies? Do they dance like at a ballet? That would be cool to have a weapon that shoots dancing things. Speaking of dancing, I could Mpmph mmmph mpphhh mmmmmpph…”

Twilight had walked over and put a hoof over the pink pony’s mouth, waiting until she stopped talking. “Pinkie Pie, now is not the time for a concert or a chorus scene. Just wait a moment would you?” The pony, Pinkie Pie, nodded, going silent. Twilight removed her hoof and walked back over to Gordon. “So, you used this gun thing to attack my friend. This thing basically throws pointy bits of metal at whatever you point it at, and it explodes. Why would you have such a thing? In fact, why would you even bring it out? And what are the rest of the things on your back?”

Gordon thought for a moment, and then began to write again. Well, to answer your first question, I have been through Hell and back, and that specific one has saved my life on many an occasion. As for your second question, what would you do if you were about to enter a town full of lifeforms you have never met, whose intentions are unknown, and who might be able to severely harm you? And as for your third question, the other items on my back consist of differing types of guns, plus two special weapons and an alien creature/weapon. It will make more sense as to why I am carrying these things if I told you the whole story, but I doubt you would understand the horrors I have witnessed. I feel tha… He again stopped and looked up as a large rainbow light seemed to swirl around the tree. The door burst open, and in flew a blur of motion trailing a rainbow. It headed straight for Gordon and bowled him over with enough force to push him and his half-ton armor to the bookcase behind him, causing many of the books to fall on top of him. Gordon grunted as the force knocked into him, hearing another rib crack. At this rate, I am going to break every bone in my body before the day is out. This place may be peaceful, but I have gotten worse injuries here than in Black Mesa. Gordon thought as his suit began speaking again. “Minor Fracture detected, Minor Re-Fracturing detected. Morphine levels have returned to acceptable parameters. Morphine administered.” Gordon sighed as the pain went away. The thing that was on his chest still, pushing into him, came into focus. It was a large, blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane and tail. As his gaze alight upon it, it began talking in an angry, obviously female voice.

“WhodoyouthinkyouareattackingmyfriendandcausingchaosinmytownIaughtoflyyourightpastthemountainpeakanddropyodown!” She said this whole phrase without drawing a breath. When she did stop to breathe, Twilight jumped up and pulled her friend off of the creature.

“Rainbow Dash, wait, Gordon was only startled, just hold off a moment. No one was hurt, ok?” Twilight said, as the pegasus called Rainbow Dash allowed herself to be pulled off of Gordon. “Look, the creature didn’t know Pinkie was friendly. You know how exuberant she can be when saying hi.”

Rainbow Dash just stood there, breathing heavily. “Ok,” she said to Gordon, “I’ll let you be, for now. But I’m watching you. One wrong move and POW! You won’t know what hit you.” She said, making punching motions with her hooves. Gordon eyed her with uncertainty, realizing that although she was full of loyalty to her friends, she probably could only do superficial damage in an actual fight, despite the extreme speeds she seemed to be able to achieve.

Twilight picked up the paper that Gordon had been writing on, and quickly skimmed what he had written. “Well,” she said, “I think we should see what this whole big story is. Apparently, all of our questions will be answered with your story.”
Gordon nodded, then grabbed the sheet and quill and began to write. As he did so, he did not notice a white unicorn walking in through the door that Dash had opened, nor the green and purple dragon sneaking down from its hiding spot above one of the bookshelves. After about five minutes of writing, an orange pony also walked through the door, going to stand in the corner with her friends.

During the ensuing hours of writing, Gordon only looked up once or twice, sometimes asking for water on a scrap of parchment, other times asking for food. Gordon had been surprised by the small crowd now in front of him, but he figured they would introduce themselves with time. He focused on his task, writing more than he had ever written before, including the time at college when the printers went down and he had to handwrite his twenty-three page term paper. When he ran out of room on one page, he would look up at twilight and point to the paper. After the first time, when she had looked questioningly at Gordon until she realized what he wanted, she just silently gave him the paper. The sun outside hit its peak and began to descend. As Gordon finished the last page, placing it next to him where Twilight would grab it with her telekinetic powers when she and her friends finished reading the previous one. Gordon sat there with his hands folded, waiting. For the first time, he noticed the small green and purple animal by Twilight’s legs. It was looking at the paper seeming to read it with Twilight and her friends. The animal was strange, covered in what looked like shiny scales. It must be some sort of lizard Gordon thought. He continues to watch it, when Twilight handed it the paper she had been reading after rolling it up. The lizard grabbed it with its forepaws and then blew fire onto the semi-neat, handwritten story Gordon had wrote, incinerating it almost instantly in a ball of green fire. Gordon was dismayed that Twilight thought so little of his hard work that she would have her pet fire-breathing lizard, Wait no, Gordon thought, pet dragon! destroy it. Twilight then grabbed the next sheet that Gordon had and began to read. The dragon again walked over to Twilight and appeared to read it. Gordon simply turned away, waiting for them to finish and then burn it.

Twilight finished the last page and sauntered over to Gordon. “So you’re a scientist at this…” Gordon watched her search through her mind., “… Black Mesa, and you caused a big explosion that caused large number of alien creatures to teleport into there. Luna's Mane you've been through a lot. It’s a small wonder that you almost hurt Pinkie. Well, you are safe here.” She trailed off, looking around. “Oh!” she said suddenly, “I never introduced you to my friends. This is Applejack,” she pointed to the orange pony, “Rarity,” pointing to the white unicorn, “and this is Spike, my baby dragon.” Each of the ponies said hello when they were pointed out, and Spike the dragon actually walked over, said hello, and shook his had. Gordon was surprised by this, having assumed spike was just an animal, similar in intelligence to the dogs on Earth.
Twilight then explained to the ponies assembled how Fluttershy had discovered Gordon, and how he had mysteriously appeared in the forest. Then the ponies just sat around, occasionally giving Gordon a sideways look. After about twenty minutes of waiting, Spike suddenly burped up a large scroll, wrapped in a red ribbon and sealed with wax. Gordon jumped at this, half-drawing his 9mm, but when he saw that the source of the noise was only Spike, he re-holstered his weapon and walked over to where Twilight was beginning to read the scroll.

”Dear Twilight Sparkle,” read Twilight, “Thank you for informing me of this new creature, and providing me with its story. I shall be arriving at Ponyville as soon as I can. I should be there before midnight. I want to see this creature for myself. Please await my arrival, and keep it inside your house. I don’t want anypony getting hurt accidentally by this Gordon Freeman. Your Mentor Always, Princess Celestia.”

Gordon looked up, surprised that Twilight knew the ruler of Equestria. That was one fact she seemed to have left out when she explained about this world on the trip to Ponyville. The other ponies were excited by that fact, saying things like “Celestia will know what to do,” and “Better get this place cleaned up for the princess.”

The two unicorns began to use their horns, causing multiple different tools and items to clean and go to their correct spots. In about a half-hour, the whole place was sparkling clean, literally. There were reflective spots on everything from the wastebasket to the underside of the roof. Maybe Twilight wasn’t lying when she said there was magic here. Gordon thought, It seems almost as if they can control the Higgs Field. Theoretically, similar outcomes could be achieved by a Higgs Field manipulator, but the department that was involved with that project literally disappeared, staff, building, and all. I wonder how these unicorns do it.

Gordon continued to have similar thoughts for over an hour, waiting for this Princess Celestia to arrive. Twilight and her friends whispered together, occasionally giving him furtive looks. Spike originally stayed around Twilight, conversing, but then he meandered over to Gordon.

“So, you are from another dimension eh?” the dragon said, “That’s pretty cool. Do those things on your back really make things explode? Can I try it? I wish I could make things explode. I can only make some bits of fire. So can I at least hold one of your, what were they called? Uhh… Oh, right, guns. Can I hold one of your guns?” Gordon looked down at the little purple guy and raised an eyebrow. “I, uhh, will take that as a no, I guess. What are those things on your belt?” Gordon stared icily at Spike, until the dragon finally moved away, muttering something about “no fun.”

Finally, a knock was heard at the door, followed by an announcement. “The Royal Princess Celestia requests entrance.” Came a male voice from outside. Twilight rushed over to the door and opened it, forgetting about magic in her rush. Standing outside, resplendent in a Gold and Silver crown, stood a large white mare with a unicorn’s horn and pegasi wings. Her mane flowed behind her, rainbow in color and almost liquid in appearance. Twilight exclaimed “Your Highness!” and bowed slightly. Spike and the other ponies followed her example, bowing to the princess. Gordon stood up and inclined his head slightly, not quite realizing he was doing so. As the alicorn walked inside, she allowed Gordon to see the two male pegasi in full armor stood outside. The door was soon shut, and all of the ponies looked expectantly at Celestia, every now and again glancing at Gordon. Gordon just stood there, his hand ready to move towards his 9mm, just in case a threat was made on his life. From the history he had to read in college, he remembered that medieval rulers generally executed whomever they perceived to be a threat to their rule. The Princess slowly walked around Gordon, putting an image to everything she had read about. Finally she walked in front of Gordon, and put her face close to Gordon. Gordon stood his ground, noticing that the Alicorn was actually close to his height, not counting her horn. The other ponies he had met barely came up to his waist.

The Princess finally moved back from Gordon, seeming satisfied. Then she began to speak. “So, you are Gordon.” Gordon nodded, “Well, you are not quite what I have expected. Twilight,” she said, turning to her pupil, “You were well to inform me of this. Now,” she said to Gordon, “Lets see what we can do about your throat. I want a better and clearer explanation, and it will be far easier not to have to read between each question.” Gordon drew back as her horn began to glow, ready to leap into action if need-be, but then a bright, white light engulfed Gordon. Gordon’s suit began to beep. “Unknown Energy Signature detected. Unable to compensate. User recommended to leave area. Update, User’s health has returned to normal parameters.” Gordon began to feel good, better than he ever had before. As he reveled in his ecstasy, he began to notice something. At first, he just ignored it, but then it grew in intensity. His good feelings melted away, replaced with an unbearable itch in his throat. It felt like something was trying to claw its way out. The itchiness became worse, past the point of annoyance and into the realm of pain. He began to writhe where he was, suspended in the air by the magic surrounding him. The feeling in his throat became excruciating, burning as if he had swallowed napalm. All he could do was contort his body in pain. Then something began to build inside of him, something he couldn’t contain. It forced his way up his throat, clawing through the tissue until it came to his mouth where it burst forth into a scream of such raw pain and horror that the ponies yelled for Celestia to stop, but she shook her head ever so slightly, sadness apparent in her eyes. She never moved her eyes from Gordon however. Gordonwent limp, cutting off the scream suddenly. Celestia slowly moved Gordon down onto a bench in the library. The gaurds outside had burst through the door, but Celesta sent them away.

Twilight looked between Celestia and Gordon, finally managing to say something. “Princess, what did you do?”
End

Author's Note

As said in the previous chapter, please do not fill this with hate. I would love to accept constructive criticisms and plot ideas, and I will try to work in anypony you guys want. Just let me know in the comments. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter!
If you see any grammatical or plot or characteristical anomalies, let me know in the comments!

Chapter 3: The Higgs Field Manipulator

“Ungghhhhhhhh……. Wha….”

The sound came from a very strange-looking human, dressed in an orange and black suit that covered most of its body. The human’s head had a shock of brown hair on top of it, with a brown, mouth-hugging mustache and beard. He also wore square, black-rimmed glasses. The human slowly shook off the last dregs of sleep, sitting up slowly. His chest ached and his head pounded. He looked around, taking in his surroundings.

“Where am I?” he asked himself out loud, recoiling in shock at his voice. “I can talk,” he said, raising a hand to his neck. “Why is that so surprising?” He was in some sort of library, with concave walls, and bookshelves everywhere that there was space to put them. As he looked around, he saw unfamiliar words mixed in with the more familiar library names for sections. For instance, there was a young adult section, but next to that, where the kid’s section would normally be, was a sign for a ‘foal’ section. There was even an ‘adult’ section, but it was labeled in two, one side called ‘Older Mares,’ and the other ‘Older Colts.’ The man continued to look around, giving the strange room a frustrating stare. He did not know why, but he knew this was not where he belonged. He missed a small, purple and green dragon slip out the front door, but he did catch a flash of dark blue coming from a half-open door with stairs leading to it. The man began to investigate…
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“This is very troubling,” said a large, white Alicorn mare, “There has only been one other instance of creatures similar to this Gordon, and that was long ago, when I was a young, more adventurous mare.” She was speaking to Twilight and her friends, and the Princess’s tone was enough to even quiet Pinkie, something that Twilight had been attempting to do since she arrived in Ponyville. They were sitting in Rarity’s living room, as her Boutique was closest to the Library. “It was in the first few hundred years of my reign, I had heard of a large, bright light seen on the horizon of the Northern Border, coming from the direction of the Great Desert. I decided to investigate myself, and headed out immediately…”
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Young Celestia was flying through the clear sky of Equestria, her Pegasus Guard spread out behind her. She paid them no attention however, watching the tan and orange strip of land in front of her growing larger and closer every second. She had become bored with the affairs of state back home, and decided that this adventure was just the thing she needed to get her mind off of it. She was surprised at the progress she had made. If she had taken the royal sky carriage, It would have taken her twice the time to cover even this distance. She was following the train tracks leading to Appleloosa, the farthest outpost right on the edge of the Great Desert. That had been where the urgent message had come from, apparently everypony was panicking about it. As she neared Appleloosa, a very small outpost consisting of about three or four buildings and a station, she noticed that there were no ponies in the street, or even in the small orchard to the West that the town was named for. She finally landed, her guards landing behind her, heads drooping. Celestia looked back, concern in her eyes, but they recovered soon. She turned her eyes back to the town, noting the fact that nopony was visible. Her guards were beginning to get nervous, uneasily digging their hooves into the ground. As she scanned around the ghost town, she spotted something on the flat horizon, something that looked completely out of place. She turned to her guards, telling them to follow, and then took off. As she neared the object, she realized it was a building of stone, completely square. It looked like it had been torn from the ground, as all but the roof was a darker color, with bits of reddish rock sticking to it and pipes jutting out. On the roof, a creature stood, its coat a dark blue except for its head and forepaws, which were a pale white. Its mane was jet-black, and it stood on its hind limbs. In the right forepaw, a gray box was being carried.

As she took note of it, it turned around, walking into a small door connected into the building by a small room whose roof sloped down slowly. Celstia could not shake the feeling of something wrong with the creature; almost sinister, and definitely dark. She turned to her guards, asking them about the creature, but none of them had seen it. She shook her head, thinking it had just been her mind playing tricks. She landed on the building’s roof, her guards right behind her. She walked over to the door and opened it with a quick burst of magic. Two of her guards walked in first, despite the princess’s objections. The guards had sworn their lives to her, and would not let her walk into danger first. The guards came back a moment later, telling the princess that the coast was clear. The princess ignored everything they said after that, bursting through the door. It opened into a dimly lit staircase, made of metal. She went down two flights, where a cave in blocked the rest of it. There was no other way into the building visible from the outside. The princess cursed, causing her guards to jump at her language, then used magic to blast apart the rubble. Behind it was a door, which the princess opened with yet another burst of magic. Once again the guards walked forward, but the princess walked in directly behind them. The door opened into a long corridor, with two strips of color running along it. One was red and had the words “Experimentation Chamber” written onto it, the other was green and had “Observation.” They walked down the corridor, noticing the red lights pulsing slowly along the whole room. The first “door” they came across was mad of two solid blocks of metal, and the princess could not open it. The other door led to a room filled with…
__________________________________
“… bodies of these creatures, which I now know are called humans,” the princess continued her story, “Most of them were dead, leaking blood onto the floor. The skin on their faces and hands seemed to have been melted, as if they were made of wax. My guards and I all gagged simultaneously, but I continued forward, seeing movement ahead. There were three other humans that had survived, barely. They were probably scared out of their minds by whatever had happened, and now me arriving had driven them over the edge. They were speaking gibberish, almost completely incomprehensible. After a while, when I had moved them into the hallway, and attempted to calm them down, with limited success, one of them finally handed me a sheaf of papers and box. The paper was covered in small, uniform letters spelling out many words that I did not, and still do not, understand. Upon giving me theses things, the remaining scientist died, his last words being to only give those items to only another of the science team. After that I…..”

She was cut off by a loud, animal scream coming from the direction of the library. All of the ponies jumped, than began to rush towards the library.
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The man walked up the stairs, entering what looked like a bedroom, still filled with bookcases. There was a small bed alcove, and a basket bed near it. A mirror stood against one wall. The man looked around, searching for whatever could have made the flash of blue, seeing nothing, and no other way out save for the door he had just entered. The man, after standing around in confusion, walked slowly around the room, stopping in front of the mirror. He looked at his reflection, not remembering anything. As he studied himself, he spotted the crowbar hanging on his side. The tiniest of sparks of recognition fired in his brain, and he picked up the crowbar, studying himself once more. Then, memories began flooding back. His name was Gordon Freeman, a 27-year-old scientist with a PhD in Theoretical Physics. He worked at Black Mesa, a top secret research facility in the deserts of New Mexico. He was still working in the ‘intern’ style jobs, except that he had to don the HEV suit he was wearing now in order to enter the test chambers to pull levers, push buttons, and move carts. His last experiment ended with… he stopped, puzzled for a moment, than clutched his head as his mind suddenly received all of the information at once. The Resonance Cascade, the struggles, the teleporter accident, all of it. An animalistic scream tore from his lips, he attacked the image in the mirror with his crowbar, turning wildly and causing havoc with everything in reach. When the door opened, allowing 6 multi-colored ponies and an Alicorn to enter, Gordon turned and threw the crowbar, unable to determine friend from foe. With the projectile heading towards them, the two unicorns and the Alicorn all attempted to stop it simultaneously, the power of their magic sending back towards Gordon, who took it in the chest, flying backwards and hitting another bookcase, causing even more books to fall upon him. An audible crack rang out through the room, and then the suit began talking. “Major Fracture Detected,” it said, “Morphine administered.” Gordon pulled his eyes up slowly to the beings in front of him, all of which were staring at him in anger. The insanity in his eyes slowly disappearing, the information in his mind finally being organized after order was knocked into him.

Gordon raised his eyes once more, only standing after the morphine took affect. He began speaking, still surprised at his own voice. “I.. I’m sorry, I d-d-don’t know what came over me.” His voice was warbly, still not being accustomed to using his voice again. The alicorn in front of him, the name took a moment to surface, Princess Celestia, that’s right, began to speak slowly. “That particular spell I used sometimes causes temporary insanity, it is understandable. I’m actually somewhat surprised it worked, due to the, differences in your anatomy.” The princess paused as Gordon seemed to get his bearings. “I brought something that I believe you will want, I am not certain exactly what it is, but it was given to ma a long time ago, specifically only for the ‘science team.’” Again she stopped, this time her horn glowed, bringing forth a box and a large pile of yellowing papers. This she gave to Gordon, levitating it until Gordon grabbed it. “Twilight, I have important business to attend to back in Canterlot, inform me of any and all developments if possible. I hope you can learn more about these humans and this object than I was able too.” With that she turned around and left the library. The ponies again turned their gaze upon the strange figure before them, seeming to hold their breath as he stood there. Gordon looked at them for a minute, noticing their curiosity with the box. Gordon sat down on a nearby chair, looking at the papers. It took him a few seconds to realize what it was.

“I can’t believe this,” he said quietly to himself reading through the old scientific notes. One of the ponies, the purple one named Twilight walked up to him, glancing curiously at the papers.

“What is it?” she asked. Gordon looked up, seeing the curiosity written upon the other ponies’ surprisingly human-like faces.

“It’s the Higgs Field Manipulator Prototype,” Gordon said, patting the box on his lap, “This was lost about two years ago, before I joined Black Mesa. They were attempting to disprove half of the laws of physics, while simultaneously creating a machine that allows telekinesis, among other abilities. Their first prototype was a complete success, except for the fact that they needed more power for it to be useful. They finally decided to attempt a large-scale version and to feed it with nuclear power. A catastrophic failure lead to them disappearing, and according to these notes,” he said, shuffling through them, “they had a containment breach, killing most of the staff. Only three scientists survived, one of them writing the last of the notes, unable to do anything else. The last page of notes ends in a rather large bloodstain. Poor devils. The radiation must have been terrible.”

As Gordon finished the tale, the ponies looked at each other, puzzled. “Umm, Gordon,” said Twilight, “The Princess found these over five hundred years ago. Just how long is two years on your planet?” Gordon looked at the ponies, trying to decide how to explain it.

“Well, I live in another dimension,” Gordon explained, going slowly, “Theoretically, these dimensions line up at only certain times and places. In my home dimension, no more than a few nanoseconds will have passed, where as here, quite a few hours have passed. In fact, it seems a whole day has. You see, the timelines only coincide sometimes, allowing for temporal anomalies like this to happen.” Gordon knew he finished in scientific terms, but he could simplify it no further.
“Tempa-whoosies?” said Pinkie Pie, “is that some sort of super-hot oven? Did you know I bake things in ovens? Do you bake things in ovens? I can always show you the cookies I make. Do you have cookies in your world? I would love to Mmmmpphh mrrphh munmmm nummbbll mumphh muff…” Pinkie continued talking, despite the fact that a piece of what looked like duct tape appeared over her mouth in a haze of purple light, which Gordon connected to Twilight, since her horn had also glowed the same purple when it appeared.

“Well, ummm…” Gordon said in surprise, “you can create things out of thin air. That’s… not possible.” Gordon said.
“No, I am just transmuting the bits and pieces of it in the air. They are already there, I just move them about a little.” Replied Twilight.

Gordon almost gagged. “You can manipulate the atomic structure!” he exclaimed, “But the suit should have detected a radiation signature. You can’t just do that, the laws of natu…..” He trailed off, having seen the box on the ground. “Unless…” he said, almost to himself. He removed the lid to the box, releasing a cloud of dust. Underneath it was a large, user-manualish book. Gordon tossed it to the side, never having even read the manual to his suit. Nestled in the protective foam, glistening as if it had just been polished, was the strangest device Gordon had ever seen. It looked like a solid steel remote, with more buttons on it than he could imagine. Almost every surface was a button. On the front of the remote was a piece that looked like the end of a crescent wrench, except it was jointed halfway down the ends. Gordon picked it up, looking more closely. His suit beeped loudly, almost causing him to drop the remote. It then proceeded to talk.
“Higgs Field Manipulator Upgrade detected. Neural Interface Upgrade Detected. Please insert device into slot above 9mm holster. Upgrades will automatically download.”

Gordon did not even bother to check the manual if there was a health risk, he just plugged it into the slot that the suit had indicated. An immediate change in the suit was observed.

“Upgrade is compatible. Suit lockdown system engaged for user safety. Mild sedative administered for user safety. Upgrade will begin when user unconsciousness detected.”

As it said this, the suit forced him to stand up, locking into place. Gordon immediately began to fall, caught by Twilight’s magic. He felt a small prick in his backside. Immediately, he began to feel very tired. He had to fight to keep his eyes open. “Wha….” He managed to say before his head went limp. The rest of his body was held in place by his suit.
Twilight lowered him to the ground. Looking at her friends, Twilight realized that she wasn't the only one who was wondering what in Luna’s mane was going on.

Author's Note

As before, please inform me of any anomalies you detect concerning plot, characterizations, grammar and/or syntax. I would love to hear your ideas concerning the story and/or if there is somepony you would like to see enter the story.
Also, to any editors out there, I need help screening out the instabilities in the data retrieved from the timeline fracture. If any of you feel up to the task, please PM me.

Chapter 4: Unforseen Consequences

Gordon woke up slowly, not fighting consciousness nor forcing it. He first let his sense return one by one. I need to stop falling unconscious, before I make a habit of it, he thought ruefully. Then his sense of pain returned, a deep ache in his chest rising like a dog begging for attention. and I really need to stop breaking things. Finally, Gordon felt awake enough to turn his attentions to the outside world. He opened his eyes, and was confronted by a large, semi-uniform tan color; he shut his eyes, thinking he was hallucinating… again. Gordon was confused for a moment, realizing he had seen something very similar before. He remembered a college dorm party, waking up with a lampshade on his head. He opened his eyes again, determined to find out exactly what was going on, but he couldn’t move his hands, no wait, his whole body. His head was stil mobile, but the rest of him was trapped, as if someone had decided to wrap him in a… locked-down HEV suit, he remembered suddenly, again feeling the all too familiar rush of images and senses as the rest of his memory returned. He wondered how he was going to escape the damned suit. As his mind searched around for a way out, he suddenly realized the corners of his vision were glowing orange. He focused on the orange, some familiar shapes entering his view. It was the suit’s HUD, but he needed the helmet for that. He was thoroughly confused now, questioning his own sanity. Gordon probably would have started an argument with himself about his own sanity, if it weren’t for the blinking orange question mark that appeared in the center of his view. The question mark then disappeared, being replaced by a large wall of dull orange text:

Welcome to the HEV suit MK IV protective system. This unit has been upgraded with the Neural Interface Update. This adds multiple functions to the original model, including thought-recognition software, a database query based on thought, a HUD displayed using neural probes wired into the occipital lobe via the spinal cord. This unit also recognizes the thought of use of weapons, upgrading your weapon selection system to recognize and guide you to the weapon you want before you touch it. Included in this software update is the Higgs Field Manipulator Unit (HFMU), allowing for some basic telekinesis and other minor changes in the Higgs Field. Warning, the HFMU uses a large amount of power, and only has a small power unit on board. Use of this upgrade will drain suit power proportional to the change in the Higgs Field. However, it does not drain from the reactive armor batteries, and thus the replenishing power of the suit itself. Remember, you must maintain at least 10% of power to allow for power regeneration. Otherwise the suit will be unable to function, and will shut down. An external source of power will become necessary for continued use. An update to the HUD displays suit power in a percentage above Reactive Armor Power. The HMFU device is controlled using the updated Neural Interface currently installed within your suit. This message can be redisplayed if you think “Neural Interface Help. Suit Lockdown Lifted.

Gordon almost fell over as the suit released the locks on itself. It took him a moment to completely regain balanced. He reached up and removed the tan thing, which turned out to be a lampshade, and was faced with a large, bobbing, pink mass of hair.

“HI Again!” it shouted, the form of a pink pony took form beneath the hair. “I see you awoke. Do you remember when /I asked about cookies? Well, I got a few here, baked them while you were sleeping. What did you do anyway? My friends are in the other room, sleeping too, but I stayed here cause I felt my knees a ‘twitching and my tail a’ bobbin’ and I knew somepony would wake up soon, and as my friends just fell asleep, the only person I thought it could mean was you, so HI, have a cookie” Pinkie Pie said, all in one breath. Gordon just stood there, staring, as she seemed to produce a tray of cookies from her mane. She offered him one, or rather stuffed it in his slack jawed mouth. Gordon chewed automatically, but when his tastebuds began screaming in the ecstasy of the gooey chocolate cookie. He couldn’t help the sound of enjoyment that flowed around the delicious, masticated lump in his mouth. Pinkie broke into a massive smile, widening with each expression of enjoyment from Gordon, until it began to border on the creepy. Gordon finally swallowed the morsel, and looked over towards Pinkie.

“How did you make theses? These would get Calhoun to buy me beers for a week!” He exclaimed.

“Well, I just took 3 cups of flour, 2 cups milk, ½ cups chocolate chips, and a GaBILLION cups love! Who’s Barney and what’s beer? Is it like bits?” Pinkie was bouncing in place, as if she had drank four pots of coffee brewed with Redbull instead of water. If she did, Gordon thought, she would probably gag at what was really in Redbull… The electrified toxic waste took overkill to a whole new level.

“Well, Barney is one of my friends, a security guard,” Gordon said, adding ”Still owes me a beer, the bastard,” under his breath, “and beer is, umm, an ‘adult’ drink.”

“Like Applejack’s special cider? I had some of that once and, Geez, I had a horrible headache the next morning. Oh, hey, I think I have some of that here with me, hold on.” Pinkie said, turning and seeming to put her hoof into a pocket Gordon couldn’t see. Then she faced Gordon again, a barrel bigger than her balancing on her back.

“But but but but….” Gordon said, his brain realizing the complete impossibility of what just happened. The ‘magic’ that the unicorn had was believable, backed with a semblance of science, but this was impossible. “Wha how…. Uhhh…” Gordon continued to blabber, then just stopped, his brain leaving his body to put all of its work behind untangling what just happened. His suit’s Neural Uplink picked up on his query, beginning to analyze what had happened too. The word ‘Loading…’ appeared in the center of his HUD. Sparks began to fly. Pinkie just backed up, giggling, then went back to her friends who were sleeping in the other room.
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“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”
Twilight shot straight up, becoming instantly awake as the shout echoed through the treehouse. Her friends woke up with her, rubbing bloodshot eyes. The only person who was still sleeping was Spike, a small lump under the blankets in his basket. Twilight surmised that Spike had moved it here after Pinkie decided to make a new ‘lamp’ in the bedroom. She gave Spike a roll of her eyes, and then pranced up the stairs into her room. Gordon was standing there, blubbering to himself. A few new scorch marks were visible on his suit., and a purple lampshade was on the floor next to him, rolling slowly away.

“Umm, why are you screaming at 8 in the morning?”

Gordon eyed her his eyes full of confusion. “But it was just past midnight. Pinkie came in and began talking to me, gave me a delicious cookie, and then she… she…”

“Don’t think about it,” Twilight warned, realizing what happened, “last time I did, I burst into flames.”

Gordon looked into her eyes, looking for any sign of a jest. He didn’t find anything, but he couldn’t be sure. He had only been here a few hours, I think, and was unable to truly determine pony expressions. His suit chimed in, saying quietly in his ear in its mechanical, feminine voice. “Time since previous anomalous teleport: two days 1 hours and 3 minutes.” When was that feature added? Gordon thought, his suit once again chiming in “You have had the Neural Update installed for: 7 hours and fifteen minutes.”

“Great. Now I can’t even think of a rhetorical question without some smartass answering me.” Gordon said with a sigh.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” Twilight replied in confusion.

“You didn’t hear.. Oh, right, Neural Interface. Wired directly into my Cochlear nerve I bet.” Gordon thought aloud again.

“Huh?”

“Nevermind” Gordon shook himself, noticing a large sound emanating from his abdomen. “You wouldn’t happen to eat breakfast in this dimension, would you?”

“Umm, yes, we do in fact. I was just about to have Spike make breakfast.”

“OH OOOH OOOOOHHH!!! Can I do it?” Pinkie’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “I can make PANCAKES!” This exclamation was met with sounds of excitement from the library itself, as the rest of her friends, who had went back to sleep after noticing that Twilight was already up and on to the problem. Even Spike’s voice was heard, saying something along the lines of “Rarity, umm, your coat looks nice this morning,” in a garbled, sleepy, nervous voice.

“Well, I guess that solves that problem,” said Twilight, “You don’t want to miss Pinkie’s pancakes, they are by far the best I’ve had, and that includes Spike’s!”

“Yeah,” Gordon said, “umm, I’ll be right down.” Twilight walked out the door, leaving Gordon alone. Gordon was lost in thought, sitting down on a near by bench. so far, I’ve gone through Hell, and back, jumped dimensions multiple times, beat countless aliens to death with a crowbar, launched a rocket, blew up countless things, killed a large number of both the US and the Xen armies, and, on top of that, stole a multi-billion dollar investment from the US government. And now I am either hallucinating, unconscious and dreaming, or have just completely and without much qualm have accepted magic, mythical creatures, and talking horses. Perhaps it’s the fact that he has seen way too many improbable and impossible things in the recent days that he has stopped questioning. Or I’m completely bonkers. Insanity, Is that you knocking at my door?

Gordon paused for a moment, mentally correcting any mistakes found in his mental list. Yup, still insane. I need some Oxycodone. At this, words again flashed across his vision.

Warning, use or contemplated use of dangerous, narcotic, or illegal substances can be extremely debilitating to user health

Great, now my suit is trying to argue with me. I am definitely insane. Now where’s the damn options menu…
_______________________________
Twilight walked out to see her friends grouped around a large table that had somehow fit into her library, despite being way to large for any of the entrances. She had a feeling some pink pony had a hoof in it, but she ignored it and sat down, the delicious smells of cooking wafting from the kitchen. Dash was animatedly telling a story to Fluttershy, who was slowly sinking farther and farther under the table, gasps and ‘eeps’ being almost whispered as Dash continued. Applejack was sitting perfectly awake, talking to Rarity, who looked like she needed a strong cup of coffee. Spike was sitting next to Rarity, sneaking peeks at her whenever he thought nopony was watching.

“Who wants PANCAKES?” yelled Pinkie, slowly moving through the door as a pile of pancakes on her head began to bend slowly backwards, being impeded by the doorframe. Then with an elastic *pop.* the stack almost brushed the ceiling of the library, wobbling precariously on her head. As she walked towards the group, she seemed to slip, causing all the pancakes to begin to fall, however she somehow managed to get two to fall on everyponies’ plates and the rest to land in three stacks in some plates in the middle of the table. Everypony clopped their hooves at her performance, causing her to go into a wild bow before tumbling into her seat.

“Lets eat!” cried Spike, already wolfing down the pancakes in front of him. The rest of the ponies followed soon after, eating the delightful pancakes at a steady rate. All of a sudden, Pinkie twitched, her tail began to swish back and forth, he knees knocked together, and her left eye developed a twitch.

“EVERYPONY DOWN!” cried Spike, noticing what was happening as he reached for another pancake. Immediately all of the ponies looked up, looked at Spike, who had already thrown himself at the far wall, then they saw Pinkie’s behavior and followed Spike’s example. Pinkie remained where she was, staring at the center of the table, a look of extreme concentration on her face.

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

A large ball of green, arcing magic appeared on the table, almost identical to the one Gordon appeared in, yet it only contained a small, tan creature that resembled mix between a furless rabbit and a grasshopper. Most of the friends shrieked as it appeared, Fluttershy going so far as to dive into a nearby pile of books,. Pinkie just stood there, looking at it.

“Aren’t you sooo cute,” she said in a patronizing voice one would use on an animal.
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Just a few more adjustments and there we go. No more answering questions not directed at it. Isn’t that right, suit? Gordon thought.

“Assessment of current user settings accurate” It replied in its electronically synthesized voice.

“Now for breakfast,” Gordon thought aloud, scratching t his head. “I wonder how lon—“

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

Gordon heard the sound from the room below, one he recognized as the warning something just teleported in uninvited. He grabbed his crowbar and burst through the door, heading down the steps two at a time. He saw the headcrab on the table, he saw Pinkie leaning close to it, moving her mouth, but he couldn’t hear her over the sound of his pounding heart. beat it with a crowbar, beat it with a crowbar, beat it with a crowbar was all that ran through his mind. He raised his crowbar into an offensive position, but he fell at the last moment, the second to last step giving in to the combined weight of his suit and his momentum, causing him to crash down onto the floor. Pinkie turned her head just as the headcrab jumped.

Once more Gordon felt as if time slowed down. There was no way he could kill the headcrab before it got Pinkie. He couldn’t reach his gun. His crowbar was flying in the opposite direction. There was nothing he could do. He saw an orange glow by the crowbar as it stopped its motion, then it turned and sped like an arrow towards the headcrab in mid-lunge.

The whole thing exploded at the force behind the crowbar, dousing Pinkie in its green blood, and splattering everything else in the room. The crowbar stayed where it was, floating in the air. Gordon got up, his sense of time back to normal. He walked over to the crowbar and picked it up, the orange glow ceasing when he did. He noticed that the suit’s power level had gone down to 92%. He surmised that he just witnessed the HFMU in action, and was pleased by the result, but his pleasure paled in comparison with his rage.

“I should have KNOWN I was being followed. Every single time my paranoia goes away, something like this happens. That’s WHY I never listened to those damn shrinks ‘ Your just being paranoid Freeman, aliens aren’t shooting at you with lasers Freeman, the mailman isn’t trying to—’”

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

He was cut off by another headcrab teleporting in.

“YOU JUST HAVE TO INTERRUPT MY MONOLOGUES DON’T YOU!” He shouted as he began to smash the headcrab without mercy. “I CAN’T FINISH A SINGLE—“

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

“DAMN YOU FUCKING FACEHUGGERS. DIE DIE DIE!” He attacked each new crab with reckless abandon, smashing them with his crowbar.

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

“GAAAHHH!” Finally, there was only one left, which he smashed into the ground, his eyes almost glowing with rage. There was a bright flash of white light, unlike the flash of green that accompanied the teleports. He whipped around looking for the source, his eyes falling on the shellshocked, panic-stricken ponies in the corner, covered in a fair amount of green blood. His rage drained from his eyes as he looked at the ponies. They were staring at him strangely, very strangely. He stared back, his eyes finding something different about them. Then he saw it, each pony had a new tattoo on their flanks. Twilight had what could only be described as sparkles, Applejack had three apples, Rarity had three diamonds, Rainbow had a thundercloud with a rainbow-colored lightningbolt coming out of the bottom of it, Pinkie had a bunch of balloons and confetti, and a small pile of shaking books had a butterfly visible from the small lump of yellow and pink sticking out of it.

As he stared, he noticed something else. Each one of the ponies weren’t just looking at him, they were looking at his… ass? He looked down too, to see what was wrong, and saw a small circle of clear suit, ad in the center, a small, cartoonized crowbar was visible. He wondered how that had happened. He looked around at the ponies, realizing something that had absolutely no relation to the problems at hand. I’m holding my crowbar completely wrong. If I just tilt it 5 degrees to the left, and hold it just a few more millimeters up the handle like… so He adjusted his grip I can increase both my efficiency and the devastation of my attacks…. Where the hell did that come from?

“Umm… Well, it seems you have an infestation…” He said in a strained, sarcastic tone, attempting to break the silence in the green-splattered library.

“Y-yeah…. I, uhh, k-kinda noticed.” Twilight said in an equally strained tone.

Author's Note

Please report any Anomalies in Grammar, Syntax, Plot, or Characters.
Plot Ideas welcome, but may be ignored.
Still need editors to help me sort through the fractured data from the timestream.

Next chapter should be out soon.

Chapter 5: An Old Friend

The scene at the Books and Branches library was anything but normal. Inside the main room, the six friends were sitting in uncommon silence, their coats covered in a greenish-yellow slime. They were all staring at a man in an orange suit, who was almost completely covered in the slime. Only his head and a small circle on his side were uncovered.

“So, what does this mean, and why do you guys suddenly have tattoos?” Came the deep voice of Gordon Freeman, still looking at the crowbar image that had appeared on his ass.

“Well, I think that you just received a cutie mark. We have had them for a few years now; they appear when we discover our talents. Although I’ve never seen one appear on anything other than a pony.” She gave a small, strained smile, trying to ignore the subject that literally filled the room.

“What the hay were those things?” The question echoed forth from the back of the group, a small, blue pegasus with a rainbow mane having asked it. “I’ve never seen anything even close to those. If I had been ready, I totally would have been like POW, and KERSPLOW, but then you showed up and you looked like you had them covered, so I kinda, stayed here.” Her boasting was subdued, almost forced.

Gordon eyed her, and then addressed the group in front of him. “Well, ummm, remember those aliens I told you about in my written account? That was a headcrab, those things that create the zombies. That’s what I have had to deal with the whole fucking time at Black Mesa. And you want to know the worst part? I had just got this suit cleaned swimming through that damned radioactive water system to turn on that reactor. Damn facehugging headcrabs! I finally find a peaceful place and they just HAVE to follow me. Story of my damn life.”

“I know a spell that can get rid of that.” Said Twilight, and with a quick flash of her horn, the blood disappeared from his suit.

“Thanks” Gordon looked over the ponies again, feeling oddly protective. “Okay, we need to get out of here. More of these damn aliens will probably start pouring in, that’s one of the reasons I kept moving. We should head somewhere defensible. Any Ideas?”

“Uhhh…. There’s Canterlot, we could help protect the Princesses, in fact we should, but there is probably stampedes of panicking nobles filling the streets, we wouldn’t be able to get in. If they saw someone like you, we would probably be attacked. I think I know a way to circumvent the city, but that would mean going over the mountain through a magically guarded, avalanche filled, pass, in which we probably wouldn’t survive, or we could go under the mountain. We should try the pass first.”

Gordon stared blankly at her for a moment, once again studying her face to see if she was pulling his leg. However her eyes betrayed nothing, except maybe the fact she was being serious. Gordon facepalmed, rubbed the bridge of his nose for a second, and then looked back at Twilight and her friends.

“You want to bypass being underground for a short while, and would rather try to fight your way through guarded, dangerous, very life-threatening mountain pass? Are you insane?”

“Umm, its safer than going below.” She replied plainly.

“SAFER?!?!?! SAFER?!?!?! Look, I don’t like rushing though tunnels any more than you, but so far it seems that the pass is the more dangerous. What’s so bad about the tunnel?”

“Well, It’s more of a labyrinth, really, stretching for miles, and it is filled with dark things I would rather not name.”

“Let me guess:” Gordon began, turning his voice into a deeper, Gandalf-style voice, It was in ancient days, back when the world was untainted. The ponies felt themselves to be superior to all, and deserving of the worlds wealth. They built a massive mine, nay, a city, and they mined through the stones, searching for precious metals and stones. Eventually, the closest veins ran dry, and they searched even deeper for more, but they dug too deep and too greedily, and unearthed an ancient evil that still stalks the empty halls. Am I close?”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. “That’s an almost direct quote from the Book of Mareia, but that book is in the Canterlot Library. How did you know?”

Gordon groaned, facepalming himself again. “Mareia? MAREIA? Your telling me there is a pony mine, deep under the earth, called Mareia, filled with an ancient evil that’s worse than a magical death trap of a mountain? Tolkein would be proud.”

“You knew the foreman?”

Gordon began to bang his head against the wall. He stopped and turned towards Twilight. “I’m going to skip getting covered in snow. We’ll take the mine.”

“O-ok” said Twilight in a voice reminiscent of Fluttershy, then her voice took on a more sarcastic tone. “I guess with you we might be able to get past or defeat it. Even though nopony has ever come back from there except the princesses. I hope you know what your doing.”

Gordon snorted, “Twilight, I never know what I’m doing unless I’m inside a damn laboratory. I survived on instinct alone.” Gordon gave a ‘confident’ smile, and then opened the door. The street outside was completely different from when Gordon had walked in yesterday. The streets were empty of ponies, but there were a few headcrabs scattered around. Some of the buildings had holes in them and had partially collapsed. All of a sudden, a bright orange, almost red pony burst forth from one of the buildings down the street. He had an hourglass cutiemark, and was shouting with joy despite the destruction around him. For some reason he wore a bowtie, a hoofcuff, and a trenchcoat-like thing. He had a pair of goggles on his head. As he ran past the library, Gordon caught a snippet of the pony’s words.

“… GINGER, GINGER AT LAST! Don’t know why it HAD to be this body, but GINGER!” The pony shouted in a British accent, disappearing in to the blue double-doored building down the road. Gordon blinked. It’s brown now… The blue must have been a trick of the light.

Gordon dismissed the obviously insane pony and turned his attention back to the street. He saw something that made him smile. Directly across the street, almost hidden in a shallow crater, was a headcrab. Behind the headcrab, a hole in the building opened up to look like a cave. He turned back to the ponies inside, and smiled a large, creepy smile. “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I got these grenades.” He said, looking at the now thoroughly confused ponies. Gordon began speaking again, this time in a bad English accent.

“Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade! E AY ES U SOM NI NAH, DOM MA ES E WECK WE AM” The ponies scratched their heads as Gordon sang and pantomimed brining out a chest, holding a grenade in the middle of his hands. “How does it, uh... how does it work?”

“Ummm… Don’t you know Gordon?” Twilight asked, unsure of what was happening.

Gordon looked at her, surprise on his face, then again he shouted out in his bad impersonation of an English accent. “Consult the Book of Armaments!
“Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. ‘And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large –‘
“Skip a bit, Brother.
*ahem*
“and the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
“Right! One... two... five!”
[For legal Reasons, I would like to credit the above quote to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty Python]

Twilight looked curiously at him, completely baffled at his strange behavior, and fell into her habit and automatically corrected him.

“You mean three!”

“Right, Three!” Gordon said, throwing the grenade towards the headcrab. The headcrab pounced on the sudden movement of the grenade near it, at which point the whole thing blew up in a spectacular fireball. The shockwave was large enough to rattle the windows of the library. The ponies, upon hearing the explosion ran backwards, stumbling when the shockwave hit. Twilight automatically slammed the door against the sound.

“May I ask WHY you felt the need to do that?” she spat at Gordon, taken off-guard by his strange behavior and the massive explosion.

Gordon looked over to her, a manic gleam in his eye. “The best way to stay sane in situations like this,” he said, “is to take every chance life gives you to entertain yourself. That particular thing was off of a skit from one of my favorite cult classic movies. Don’t ask.”

Twilight shook her head at him and surveyed her friends. Most of them were still shocked, partially covered in the green blood. Fluttershy was absolutely terrified hiding in another pile of books. Twilight cast the cleaning spell on them, attempting to sooth them, and herself, in any way possible. She began to speak, preparing a pep-talk-like speech, when the door burst open.

Gordon jumped, drawing his crowbar and preparing to beat the living tar out of whatever was there. The dust cleared, and in the doorway stood a swaying zebra, a large Mohawk on her head and an extreme amount of gold rings on her neck. Gordon noticed that she was covered in cuts and bruises, and seemed to be holding herself up by sheer willpower.

“ZECORA!” shouted Twilight, rushing over, the rest of her friends following behind, their fear forgotten.

“Twilight, my friend, I fear I may be nearing my end.” The zebra said, collapsing.

“No, no, don’t think like that, you’ll be fine.” Twilight said, tears in her eyes. Tears streamed down the rest of the ponies faces as they looked at their friend, who was slowly dripping blood on the ground.

Gordon stepped forward, sensing the despair in her posture, and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at Gordon as he knelt down next to her.

“I’m sorry Twilight, but she’s right. I doubt she’ll live long. It’s best we make her comfortable while we can.”

Zecora saw Gordon next to her, and she jerked away. “You… You are… man… He is not... man… For you he waits… but don’t give in… Don’t listen to him. All of Equestria is… at… stake…” Zecora interspersed her words with huge, shuddering gasps. She finished her thought, her head falling with a thump back to the ground and letting out a long breath.

Every single pony in the room began weeping loudly. Twilight turned and buried her muzzle into Gordon’s armored shoulder. Gordon just patted her back, understanding her pain. Gordon thought on the last words of Zecora, remembering how they felt… familiar, as if he had heard them in a past life. Gordon dismissed the thought, filing it in his already overstuffed ‘Think-About-It-Later’ drawer in his mind. He turned his attention to the mare on his shoulder.

“Shhh… Shhh… I understand… I understand, but there is nothing we can do.” Gordon said to her, trying to calm her down. “We need keep moving.” Gordon knew that if he gave them time to mourn, the aliens would most likely kill them all. Gordon looked at the ponies around him, their muzzles crusted with tears, and he saw the pain in their eyes. He saw Pinkie standing there too, her colors subdued and her normally bouncy mane completely straight. A sound began to fill the room from an unknown origin. Gordon could have sworn it was a trumpet playing taps. Gordon stood up, gently moving Twilight aside, and opened the door again.

Just to slam it shut and lean against it. “Maybe we could stay here a little longer.” He said to the ponies as they began to stand up.

Pinkie got up from her slumped position next to Zecora’s body, and walked over to Gordon. “No, y-y-your right… We c-c-can’t stay here, we need to get to Canterlot. Protect the princesses.” She said, choking on sobs as she did.

“No, it’s ok, we can stay” said Gordon, strain in his voice.

“No, we need to MOVE!” Pinkie shouted, all the pain and surprise and anguish filling her shout. Gordon and the other ponies jumped, and Gordon was pushed roughly aside as the surprisingly strong, yet diminutive pink pony opened the door, revealing a scene that looked right out of a horror movie. There was a veritable army of horror outside. Dozens of things stood there, seeming to stare at Pinkie as she stared back. Most of the things were bipedal and wore labcoats and khaki pants. Among the bipeds also stood a few in military gear and some in the security uniforms. There were also a number of ponies. Each and every one of them had a headcrab covering their entire head, with a huge, sideways, gaping maw in the center of their chests, ribs sticking out and looking like demonic teeth. The bipeds had three claws instead of hands, their arms grossly disfigured and their entire bodies covered in blood. The ponies stood on four legs, their colors almost completely lost in the blood that covered them. They had grown two small appendages from their forelimbs, similar in appearance to their bipedal counterparts.’

Gordon looked out at the scene which he had tried to spare the ponies from, and then noticed something. Each one of the zombies was standing there, seeming to stare at Pinkie. Gordon looked too, and immediately took a step back. Pinkie was literally glowing with red anger, the aura pulsing around her. Her mane whipped into demonic shapes while lightning bolts sprung from her eyes. A harsh, ominous music sprung up from nowhere, causing the zombies to visibly flinch. Then Pinkie opened her mouth and began singing along with the music, sounding like she belonged in a death metal band.
You dare to hurt my friends?
You try to crush my soul
You wish to see our lives end?
I’m not some frightened foal
I wont bow to your will,
I’ll fight to see us survive.
I won’t hesitate to kill

Gordon backed away as she continued to sing, literally killing the zombies where they stood. Lightning flew out, killing anything that tried to approach her. The ponies could only stare at this new, dark side of Pinkie, the images burned into their retinas.

You have brought this anger out
Now don’t try to even pout
I will crush you all beneath my heel.
Do you see how this has made me feel?
I’ll cut out all your hearts,
I will fuck you up inside,
I will make you final suffering last!
Mercy is lost in the past!
You have brought out my wrath
You have chosen your own path
Now Die Die DIE DIE DIE!!!

All at once, a huge shockwave went out from Pinkie incinerating the few remaining zombies and headcrabs who had survived. Gordon could only stare in amazement at Pinkie, his respect for the over-excited creature growing, but then he saw that she was sobbing, and whispering to herself. “That’s not me, that’s not me.” To Gordon’s surprise, Fluttershy was the first one to walk up to Pinkie, holding her and comforting her with random, kind words. The other ponies seemed to recover, slowly going over to comfort Pinkie too.

Gordon walked past the group, surveying the battleground in front of him. Not even a single headcrab remained, and everything was charred and burnt. How the hell did this happen? I’ve never seen anything like that before. Where did that come from? It’s like I’m in a messed-up cartoon. What did Pinkie Pie do? No, don’t answer that, remember last time. Think puppies. Cute, fluffy puppies. Gordon continued in this manner, alternatively reeling in wonder and trying to distract himself, until a hoof smacked him in the face, hard.

“Hey, no need for violence!” Gordon said, his crowbar already up in a defensive posture.

“We’ve been ready to go for an hour while you stood there. We buried Z-Zecora, and made out closure. Lets go before we join her.”

“Oh… Umm, yes, right. This way” said Gordon, picking a path at random.

“Mareia is this way.” Twilight said, pointing a hoof in the opposite direction.

“Oh, right… I knew that, just checking to see if you did… hehe.” Gordon said. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Lets go.”

The group proceeded through the cramped alleyways of Ponyville, following Gordon. Gordon, for his part, always checked around the corners, his MP5 out, ready for anything, but there was never anything there. The friends stayed quiet, shocked by all that they had seen in the past hour and a half. Gordon felt as if it eerily quiet, his battle-hardened senses working in overdrive from the supply of adrenaline pumping through him. Suddenly, a loud bang reached the group, followed by a few more, and the sound of something hitting flesh.

“That’s 9mm fire! Only the guards have that!” He rushed forward until they came to the next street. In the middle of the road stood a man in a blue uniform, a helmet on his head, a bulletproof vest on his chest, and a gun in his hand. An MP5 and a SPAS-12 hung from straps on his back. A crowbar was on his belt, and a .357 was in a holster. In his hands was a Glock 9mm, and he was shooting at one of the zombies. It finally went down, the guard doing a full 360 looking for any other threats. He saw Gordon in his Orange suit and did a double-take, then he raised his pistol.

“Please tell me your part of the science team, and not some military goon in a HEV suit.” Said a familiar voice. Gordon broke into a smile, lowering the gun and taking a step forward.

“I’m part of the science team, and not some military goon in a HEV suit.” Replied Gordon, “ and Barney, I do believe you owe me a beer.”

“Gordon?! Gordon Freeman? Man, where did you come from? Last I saw you, some military types were dragging you away. I tried to help, but the, oh, what did the scientist call it? Oh, yeah, the ‘Resonance Displacement’ something or another had me in it's clutches. I teleported all over the place. After teleporting around, finding some jerk trapped in your locker, and then almost escaping on the company jet, I teleported AGAIN, and found myself here, being faced by another mob of these zombie things. Now I… WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?!?!?!” Barney’s eyes had fallen on the ponies behind Gordon.

This is gonna take a while thought Gordon, as he began to explain.

Author's Note

Once again, please inform me of anomalous grammatical, characteristical, or plot problems, as well as informing me of any plot ideas you have.
I also would like to get at least one proofreader, if any are willing, to whom I will send my unpublished chapters for review. Let me know by PM if your interested.

Chapter 6: An Unexpected Ally

It was a fine summer day in Ponyville, the wind was blowing a cool breeze along through the grass and fields, the birds were happily singing in the nearby trees, and everything was peaceful as could be. Excepting, of course, the fact the town itself was abandoned, filled with corpses both alien and familiar. Half of the houses and other buildings had holes in them, and a few fires had sprung up. The keen observer from on high might even be able to pick out the small tan lumps of flesh that were walking around, occasionally leaping on a corpse’s head. Through this scene of terror, a sound was heard that was completely and utterly foreign to its surroundings— laughter.

“Hold on,” said Barney Calhoun, a short human in a blue uniform, “you mean to tell me that there is a place called Mareia, an ancient and foreboding mine filled with an unknowable evil from an ancient age, and we have to pass through it to get into this Canterlot? Bwahahhahahahahahahahahaha…. You must be pulling my leg Gordon, I mean seriously?”

The man he was talking to, a tall, brown haired and bearded man wearing an orange and black suit, bristling with weapons, looked up, “Yes Barney, and you’ll never guess the name of the foreman… Tolkein.” Gordon chuckled as Barney began to literally roll on the ground laughing. He was interrupted, however, by the purple unicorn behind him.

“Look, I really don’t think that this is the time or place to be laughing. We are being attacked by Celestia-knows-what, we just lost one of our friends, and we are trying to save the princesses!” Twilight practically yelled the last bit at Barney, who was shocked out of his mirth by the large purple aura that surrounded him and picked him up.

“Whoa, hey there! Put me down, please? Gordon can you give me a hand here?” Barney said in surprise as he was held upside down about three feet off the ground. Twilight just snorted in disgust, before dropping Barney in a heap on the ground.

Barney stood up, brushing the dirt off of his uniform. “Look, I say laugh when you can. It’s the only way to stay out of the funny farm.” Barney explained, adding, Then again, seeing things like you make me question my sanity still, under his breath.

“Whatever, can we leave before more of those things get here?” Twilight said, directing the question to Gordon.

“Yeah, lets go.” Gordon began to walk, Barney following. The six ponies took a moment to realize he left, but then followed the two humans. Gordon and Barney both drew their MP5s, scanning the right and left flank respectively. Still, they met very few aliens, only a handful of headcrabs seemed to have survived Pinkie’s rampage. Pinkie herself had begun to get better, but she was still subdued and unusually quiet. Gordon knew better than to try to press her for details about her sudden, devastating attack.

The group almost made it out of the town without much trouble. The two men had exchanged their MP5s for 9mms to save ammo. They approached the edge of the town, when all of a sudden, they heard screaming. It was the first sound they had heard that did not come from them or the aliens.

“It sounds like Derpy!” Twilight shouted, running towards the sound. The group followed behind, only to enter another scene of carnage. Unlike the rest of the town, which was deserted and destroyed, as if the ponies had fled, this area was covered in blood. In one corner, half of a bright red pony could be seen, the back half nowhere in sight. In the center of the small area stood a gray pegasus being mauled by a headcrab zombie, this one a pony that appeared to have had a leaf cutie mark, except that it was cut in half as if someone had ripped the mark in two. The gray pegasus was missing a wing, and had huge gashes on either side. She was somehow still alive, bucking at the zombie in weak, sloppy kicks.

Gordon wasted no time, emptying a full clip into the zombie’s head. The zombie fell down, its head nothing but a mess of bloody pulp. The group turned towards Derpy, concern in their eyes. They knew there was no way to save her. My god thought Gordon She probably painted half of this area herself. Just got to remember: don’t step in the blood!

Derpy lifted her head, seeing Twilight. She knew she was dying, and that there was nothing she could do. She pulled Twilight closer to her, pulling Twilight’s ear close to her mouth. “Please, help Dinky… .S-she’s with the class… in.. C-canterlot for… a ..field tri… tri…trip…..” Having passed on her message, Derpy gave up all pretense of staying alive, releasing herself into the welcome folds of darkness, releasing her from the pain.

Twilight simply lowered her head, silently mourning for the pony’s pain. She may not have known Derpy that well, but she had been a good mailmare, and she was still a pony. The rest of the ponies were silently amazed by the sheer amount of blood in the small plaza. Fluttershy was quietly being sick in the least bloody corner, trying her hardest not to think about what she was stepping in.

The silence was broken by a loud, concerned orange pony; “Gosh darn’t, I can’t believe ah forgot about Applebloom. Mah own sistah! We need ter get ter Canterlot now more dan ever. Why didn’t we send a note to the princess? Lets go guys!”

Gordon agreed with Applejack, “Yeah, we should get going befo—“

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!
KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

“—Does it always have to be in the middle of a damn sentence?” Gordon said, pissed at the six Vortigaunts that had just teleported in, surrounding them. Gordon exchanged his 9mm for his shotgun, Barney performing a similar action across from him. They began shooting simultaneously, trying to kill the Vorts before they had a chance to charge up. Already the first two to teleport in had already begun charging. The six ponies just stood around, watching the Vorts perform what they thought was offensive magic.

*Zap*
*Zap*
*Zap*

“Brrrr grrrburglemungleburglew!” Gordon shouted, the three bolts of electrical energy passing through his suit as if it was nothing. He downed the last aliens with a double shot, them having moved close together for some reason. “That fucking HURTS damnit!” He shouted, kicking the nearest body. “Alright everyone, lets get the hell out of here. Barney, watch our asses.”

Everyone did as Gordon said, moving into a caravan-style formation. They finally got out of Ponyville, looking back at the devastation. In the distance, closer to the Everfree, they saw a small band of ponies that had escaped the town. Gordon noticed the six ponies moving towards the refugees.

“We can’t help them guys,” Gordon said, “We need to get to Canterlot, remember. You said we should save your princesses, right? They can probably look out for themselves.”

“But what about the survivors?” said Dash, her loyalty to her town showing in her eyes.

“As I said, they can look out for themselves. You guys were the ones that said we should get to Canterlot, and I am not changing the goal now. I am sick and tired of moving through a damned maze, unsure of where to go, and having to impersonate a mole just to get from one endless tunnel of concrete and death to another, equally endless tunnel of death. I’m sick of being unsure, I’m sick of having no goal other than ‘escape.’ Therefore we are going to Canterlot!” Gordon poured all of his rage into this statement, scaring the ponies into submission. Rarity felt that his glaring force was like Fluttershy’s stare, just backed up with actual violence.

“Look here Gordon, we are only concerned for our town. Yelling at us is no way to treat ladies such as ourselves. Especially a walking fashion disaster like you. He,” she pointed to Barney, “ at least shows some fashion sense.” Rarity snapped, instantly regretting her words.

“Walking fashion disaster?” Gordon said, while Barney snickered in the background, “I have just saved your butts from being whooped by extra-dimensional aliens, have agreed to help protect your princesses out of the goodness of my heart, and struggled through more perils in one day then you have in your whole, pampered life, and all you can say abut me is that my suit isn’t fashionable? The one that has allowed me to survive the whole damn ordeal?!?!?!?!” Gordon thundered, making Rarity tremble and Fluttershy duck behind a conveniently placed rock. Rarity mumbled something, her barbed comment swallowed by Gordon’s rage.

*FOOM*

Out of nowhere, both Gordon and Rarity were entangled in streamers and balloons, covered in confetti and glitter. Near the rock Fluttershy had been hiding behind, a large canon was pointed at them, Pinkie standing next to it. Barney could not hold it in any longer, and began to roll on the ground, laughing harder and harder at the sheer randomness of it all. The laughter was contagious, soon everyone was laughing, even the still-entangled Rarity and Gordon. Fluttershy even came out from behind the rock, laughing in her own, quiet way. Gordon and Rarity were released by a still laughing Pinkie, their mirth covering the footsteps slowly walking up behind them. All of a sudden, unnoticed by everyone else, Fluttershy gasped and hid behind the rock again.

Gordon, immersed in the laughter, stopped when he felt a cold barrel against his neck.

“Target found, accomplices subdued. Delta Team checking in. Bringing hostiles to base.” Came from the mask of the tallest man in military fatigues. Two others held their guns pointed at Gordon and Barney, the leader observing the ponies sitting there, wondering what type of aliens they were. The leader informed Command about the ponies.

“Delta, lethal force advised for aliens. Detain targets and bring ‘em in for questioning. I want to know what the hell they did to us. Overlord out.”

“Acknowledged. You heard him boys, down the aliens and bring in the targets.”

Twilight jerked out of her daze, the surprise of seeing the sudden, deadly, green monsters fading. She heard them talking about ‘lethal force’ and knew they were talking about her and her friends. In that instant of understanding, she saw the three green things raise their weapons, and Twilight knew what to do. She summoned her magic, focusing on the monsters as she brought up a spell she hated to use. It was a heart-stopping spell that Celestia had taught her in case she ever needed protection. The only time she had used it was on the sparrow Celestia had set up for her to practice on. Using the spell always left Twilight with a sick feeling in her mouth and stomach, as if she had eaten the hearts of what she killed. Her horn alight with magic as she remembered the procedure, and the green things clutched their chests, falling over at the same time. Twilight also fell over, the exhaustion and the sickness of using the spell, even on something that would kill them, left her drained.

“What just happened?” Barney asked, checking the soldiers for ammo and tossing extra mags to Gordon.

“I don’t know, but I think Twilight killed them. Damn it, the aliens were bad enough, but now the MILITARY has followed me. I think I need to revise my theory. Its not that part of the UNIVERSE wants me dead, its part of the MULTIVERSE that does. I mean seriously. Why else would they chase us down?” Gordon complained, talking mostly to Barney.

“Hey, you’re not the only one. The military attacked me too you know. I took a bullet to the arm a while back too. Hell, even the sentry turrets were on the fritz, attacking ME even though I am part of the security force itself.”

“At least you didn’t get a free ear piercing, compliments of one of those turrets.”

“Damnit Gordon, fine, you win. Again. I’ll buy you another beer when we get home.”

The two friends finished searching the bodies, Gordon pulling off one of the helmets that looked like it would fit him. Rarity groaned at his new fashion statement, the clashing colors almost hurting her painfully. Or maybe it was the fact that her home was destroyed. Or some of her friends and neighbors were dead. Whatever it was, Rarity didn’t care. She hurt.

Gordon felt he looked good, like some sort of superhero Captain America-like guy. His new green helmet may smell like sweat, but it fit snugly and gave him cranial protection from lacerations and bullets. He signaled everyone to keep moving, trying to stop them from thinking about their problems.

They continued to walk, this time being vigilant for the military. Gordon had his suit run a lifeform scan, but it just told him that that function was unavailable due to the unknown floral and faunal lifeforms surrounding them. Gordon sighed, wondering why it worked when he first arrived. The road they were on lead up to the mountain in the distance, a large, ornate castle perched on the side, seemingly built as a lighter part of the mountain. A small city surrounded the mountain, a sheer cliff at the edge of the city. The road led around the mountain, disappearing around the bend.

Gordon pointed to the mountain in the distance and turned towards Twilight. “Tell me again why we can’t just walk through the city, instead of rushing through, “Gordon held in a chuckle, “Mareia?”

“Well, two reasons. First off, the streets are probably filled with panicking nobles, begging the guards to attack anything that’s not a pony, or doing so themselves, and secondly, we need either a chariot or wings to get up there. It was designed so the only sure way in is through the train bridges, which you can see have collapsed, or by flying, which we can’t. If I had remembered to send a note to Princess Celsetia while we were at home, we would probably already be there, assuming the pegasus chariot could pull you.”

“Figures,” Gordon replied, “With my luck, I’m surprised I haven’t had to crawl through an airduct yet. I just want to—“

KKKCCCHHRRTTZZAAAPPP!

“—REALLY? AGAIN?!” Gordon shouted at the green portal behind him, already swinging his crowbar at the form that was slowly appearing.

________________________________________________

Corporal Adrian Shephard burst forth through the heavy metal doors. His quarry, one Gordon Freeman, was right in front of him. Shephard saw Freeman jump for the portal in front of him, the man reached out. Than a huge explosion of rainbow light and sound filled the room. The strange aliens that were floating up near the roof all fell. Another explosion rocked the chamber, the catwalk at the other side falling down. Shephard ran for the door that could be seen, the only other way out of the room that was falling apart. More of the aliens appeared, Shephard shooting them as they appeared. He reached the other side of the room, a portal appearing on the end of the catwalk. Shephard ran for the portal, hoping against hope that it would take him somewhere far away from the craziness that was Black Mesa. He reached the portal and entered it just as another explosion of light and sound rocked through the room.

He was surrounded by black, endless black, “Where the hell am I? and what the—“ He began, only to be cut off by a large green light in his eyes. He opened his eyes again, catching a glipse of bright, pastel colors, only to receive a concussion from the large, red, metal object that hit him across the face. He collapsed instantly.

_____________________________________________

Gordon saw the shape resolve itself into a humanoid in a gasmask and a set of body armor, covered in weapons, with what looked like a barnacle, a squid, and a huge blue cockroach attached to him. Gordon finished his swing, smacking the man in the side of the head. He collapsed to the ground, groaning. Gordon looked over at Barney and the ponies.

“Well that’s new. I’ve never seen a soldier teleport, or carry weapons like these. Let’s tie him up. We should take a rest anyway.”

“Sure, why not?” Barney said. The rest of the group agreed, some of them flopping down on the ground, exhausted from the whole ordeal. Rarity used her horn and pulled a red velvet couch out of some bushes, falling down upon it and sighing loudly. Pinkie reached behind her back and pulled out a table with a large cake on it. Gordon saw Barney looking curiously at it, his face contorting in an expression of confusion.

“Barney, don’t think about it. Just let it go.” Gordon said, surprised that he had become so used to these impossible actions

By the time the soldier awoke, he was bound hand and foot, his weapons on the ground across the camp. Gordon had left the blue cockroach, the squid and the barnacle because every time he went near them, the hissed and gurgled at him. The soldier tried to sit up, drawing the attention of both his quarry, a security guard, and six things that stood there. They looked like horses to the soldier, yet they were brightly colored and small, probably only half his height. He looked up at the security guard., sensing the most danger form the man who was trained to kill. He didn’t notice the fact that Freeman had snuck up behind him, pulling his crowbar around his next and squeezing slightly.

“Who the hell are you and why are you military types trying to kill us?” Gordon hissed into his ear.

“Corporal Adrian Shephard, Hazardous Environment Unit, 115-377-896”

Barney broke in on Gordon’s interrogation however, “Shephard? The guy from the locker? I thought you were friendly.”

“Barney? What do you mean? I had absolutely no way of being friendly since your lunatic scientist friend here has been trying to kill me. Let me up will you?” Shephard replied.

“Barney, you know this creep?” Gordon said.

“Yeah. Remember when I told you about the guy in your locker? This is him. I tried to free him, but he didn’t want me to use the satchel charge to break open the door, so, after running out of ideas, I left to find something to pry the door open, but then I got caught in the teleport-thingy again, and I don’t know after that.” Barney replied.

“Yeah,” interrupted Shephard, “but you have forgotten two things. One, the hinges were on the inside, so I needed to pull and you needed to push, not the other way around, and Two, You,” he pointed at Gordon, “have just assaulted a US Corporal, and have kidnapped said Corporal. That’s treason.”

“Look buddy,” Gordon said as Barney facepalmed, “I have killed more of your comrades than I can feasibly count. I have killed thousands of aliens, and on top of that, I am in an F-ing pony world, surrounded by bright colors and dead aliens. Do you really think I care about getting tried for treason?”

Shephard was at a loss for words.

“I will free you,” Gordon said, issuing his ultimatum, “If you agree to help us. If you renege on that deal, or you try to sabotage us, or even contact your superiors, I will shoot you in the fucking head, and waltz on. Understand?”

It took Shephard a moment to realize Gordon really did not want to kill him, and was trying to help him. “Ok, I guess we can work together.” A loud gurgling sound was heard on his waist. “What’s that Gill? Your hungry? Ok, let’s let these nice men untie me, and I will feed you.”

Gordon saw Shephard talking to the green alien at his waist. He didn’t trust Shephard, but it was really his only option. If things worked out, they had a fully trained military operative on their side, Although the military I have seen should have tried out for the Darwin awards. Sigh but the downside was they had a potential traitor in their midst. Gordon freed Shephard, letting him reach into his belt and pull out a few green balls. These he fed to the alien he had dubbed ‘Gill.’ Gordon waited for the inevitable while Shephard looked around and began gathering his gear. Shephard paused, turned around, and then his eyes widened to the size of dinnerplates.

“FLUTTERSHY?!?!?!?!” He said, almost screaming the name. Gordon jumped in surprise, assuming that Shephard would ask what the things were, and not act like he knew them. Shpephard continued to name each pony, and even Spike, who had gone unnoticed by Gordon. Shephard then looked at Gordon, and seeing the confusion in his eyes, he said, “Oh… ummm… yeah, my.. uhhh.. daughter, she.. watches this show… My Little Pony… ummm, she makes me watch it… It’s a kid show, really, but… you know how… daughters… are.. umm, but It’s awesome to see you guys, I mean, not that your life is a show or anything, I mean uhhh…” Gordon watched him, noticing the pauses in his speech, and the way his eyes, showing through the mask, darted side to side.

“Ah no you ain’t trying to lie to me!” said Applejack, “Now what in tarnation are you talking about, and how the hay do you know us?”

Whatever skin that was visible on Shephard’s face went beet red as he realized he would have to give up his most guarded secret. He mentally cursed himself for his mistake in shouting out the name, and tried to think of any way to get out of his situation. All the while, the group slowly closed in on him, like a pack of lions circling their prey.

Author's Note

Well, you asked for it, and here it is. Corporal Adrian Shephard has reported for duty, and is now standing in a large pile of it.
Once again, please inform me of any grammatical anomalies, and let me know what you think in the comments. I would love to hear the constructive criticism of my peers.

Chapter 7: What the Hell?

Corporal Adrian Shephard sat with his hands on his head, talking to the orange-suited scientist Gordon Freeman and the blue-uniformed guard Barney Calhoun. They had told the six ponies and the dragon to give them some privacy so they could have a ‘meeting of the minds.’ Gordon was barely holding in his laughter, and Barney wasn’t fairing much better.

“You like a show meant for little girls?” Gordon had asked incredulously, just after sending the ponies away, “and now we are stuck inside the universe depicted by said show?”

Shephard looked up, his face still a bright, cherry red. “Yes, alright? I do. There is nothing wrong with that. I was put on the show by my niece. I don’t have a daughter. When you are stuck in the military, being forced to kill for a living, you have to cope in any way possible. I used that. The show was so peaceful, so idyllic… I’m not ashamed of it, but we are going to have to come up with something to tell the ponies. Oh, and watch out for Applejack, she knows when someone is lying. Element of Honesty and all that.”

Shephard felt a weight lifted off of his chest as he confessed. He had held on to his secret for so long, he had almost convinced himself that he didn’t like the show, and only watched it for his ‘daughter.’ It nullified the taunts of his squad, they themselves having daughters or sons that asked them to do some silly thing to feel closer to them.

“I’m going to pretend that I understood that whole element thing. Here’s one. You are part of the military, so we can say that you got information from your commander. Let’s say he had spies in the town or something. If they don’t buy it, let’s tell them that the time-stream continuum will be broken. Or something. They’ll probably buy it.” Gordon reasoned, trying to think of someway to dig Shephard out of the shithole he jumped in.

During the whole conversation, Barney was muffling the large, raucous laughter that was trying to escape from his throat. Finally, they figured out a plan, and walked back over to the camp. They were surprised to see a large tent set up, seeming to be two stories tall. A fire had also been built, and was cackling brightly in front of the tent. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie were sitting by the fire, roasting marshmallows.

“What the hell? How… I don’t want to know.” Gordon said, seeing the grin appearing on Pinkie’s face. Gordon turned towards Shephard, seeing him put his mask back on. Gordon took off the helmet he had ‘borrowed’ and clipped the strap onto another hook on his suit. A soft, yet demanding cough came from the orange earth pony. Gordon sighed, and turned towards the sound, seeing a stern expression on the surprisingly human-like face.

“Ah want an explanation, and thar ain’t no way in Tartarus ya’ll are gonna get outta givin’ one.” She said, her thick country accent shaping her words.

“Ok, look, Shephard here,” Gordon said, pointing to Shephard, ignoring his comment of Corporal, “got some information from his commander involving you. That’s.. ummm… how he knew you guys.” Gordon said, realizing that it sounded like an evasion almost immediately.

“Ah warned ya’ll about lying to meh. Ah hope ya’ll ain’t gonna do that again. Ah want the truth, or so help me, Ah will buck you so hard ya’ll be seeing last week’s stars.” Applejack rumbled dangerously, lifting her well-toned back legs up in an unmistakable gesture.

“Oh, Applejack, you’re silly. They can’t tell us, or the world as we know it will break. The reason they can’t tell you is the same reason no one can figure out me!” The unexpected interruption came from the small, bouncing, pink pony. She turned her marshmallow over the fire one more time, then swallowed it in one bite.

Applejack, Gordon, Dash, and Shephard facepalmed (and facehoofed) at the same time. Barney looked around in confusion, having not yet encountered the infamous ‘Pinkie Sense’ or any of her other ‘abilities.’

“Ahlright. Ah guess ah can believe ya Pinkie. But ah want an explanation by the time ya’ll are done here.” Applejack said, walking into the tent. Pinkie offered the group marshmallows, which they each took gratefully, savoring the extra-sweet delectables.

Rainbow Dash finished her marshmallow, and walked over towards the three humans.

“Why are we trusting him?” She asked, her hoof punching into Shephard’s chest. “Isn’t he with those other things that tried to kill us?”

“Look here, Dash,” replied Shephard, “I would never harm you or your friends, got me? You may not know it, but you helped to keep me sane during my tour of service. I won’t bail out on you guys.”

“Yeah, whatever. Like I told him,” she jerked a hoof towards Gordon, “I’ve got my eyes on you.”

Shephard sat silently for a moment, bemused by Rainbow’s brashness. The four of them sat around the fire, the silent night surrounding them in folds of darkness. Finally, someone spoke up.

“We should get some rest, from what I’ve heard, we have a long trek ahead of us.” Barney said with a yawn, “Although we should be careful. We should set a guard. Who wants to take the first shift? I’d say tonight we would have about eight hours left, so if we each take a two hour shift, and let the others sleep, we could have a nice, peaceful little night.”

“I’ll take first watch,” Shephard said. “I’m used to night ops anyway, and I’m the one with the night vision.”

“Fine by me,” Gordon said, stooping into the gargantuan tent. From the sounds above, the other ponies were upstairs, already asleep. Gordon wanted to contemplate how the whole contraption was physically possible, but his body betrayed him, dragging him over to a nearby couch before he even had a chance to look around. The moment he laid his head on the pillow, he was out.

The rest of the night passed without incident, Shephard waking Barney, who woke Rainbow, who woke Gordon when their respective watches were over. When dawn broke, the ponies broke down the camp with a bit of magic, the tent somehow packing down into one saddlebag. That morning, there wasn’t much talking, each person and pony reflecting upon their own misfortunes. The smoke from Ponyville was visible above the trees that surrounded the path. The group had a quick breakfast of bread and pickles, then continued walking.

“Are we there yet?” Barney spoke up from the back of the group, his eyes constantly scanning behind them.

“No, Barney,” Twilight said for the umpteenth time. They had been walking for most of the day, only stopping with the occasional ambush of aliens. They had still not seen a single soldier, which sent both shivers and relief down the human’s spines. After the fourth ambush, Rainbow Dash began to scout ahead, staying just in sight above the trees, looking around for any instance of ambush. At one point, Rainbow zoomed ahead, a streak of colors forming behind her. The rest of the group began to rush forward, thinking there was a problem.

They rounded a bend in the road, only to see Dash panting on the balcony of an abandoned house. It was empty inside, covered in dust. They walked upstairs to meet the confused rainbow Dash, Twilight forced to remove a large amount of collapsed roof debris before entering the room that dash had been peering into.

“Dash, are you ok?” Twilight said, concern in her voice as Dash continued to search the windowless room, seeming to search for another way out.

“Yeah,” Dash said shakily. “I could have sworn I say some human with a blue suit. It had something in its right hand. Some sort of gray rectangle. I watched him walk into here, but when I got here, the place was empty. He couldn’t have just vanished!” Dash was near panicked, her eyes wide a she searched.

Gordon laid a hand on her back, trying to calm her. Her reactions reminded him of something he remembered, but he couldn’t place where. His mind worked furiously, trying to connect the blue-suited fellow to the corresponding information in his brain. He was sure that he had it this time. The last time I saw that guy, I—

His line of thought was shattered by the sudden sound coming from Shephard’s suit’s radio.

”Target Sighted. Engaging now.”

Gordon wheeled around, seeing Dash on the balcony, leaning over the edge and looking towards Canterlot.

“DASH, GET IN HERE NOW!” Gordon shouted. Dash turned and flared her wings at the sudden noise. She realized what he said and jumped in towards the door….

Just as a huge, repetitive pounding struck into the balcony behind her. Gordon whispered a prayer to whatever deity existed in this world, thanking them for Dash’s escape. At least, until he saw the explosion of blood and feathers from Dash’s right wing. She collapsed to the ground, crying out in extreme pain. Gordon rushed to the balcony, throwing a grenade over the edge towards where bullets had come from. He heard ”Grenade!” over Shephard’s radio. Gordon peaked over the edge, seeing the two soldiers jump out of the way as the grenade blew up. He raised his MP5, gunning down one of the soldiers. The other yelled “you’ll pay for that,” over the radio. Gordon dodged the return fire, and killed the other soldier.

When he walked back into the room he saw Dash surrounded by her friends. Her wing was a bloody mess, and she was surrounded by blue feathers. Fluttershy was slowly extending the injured wing, trying to gauge the damage. Twilight had brought out a bottle from one of her bags and was slowly dolling out a set amount of powder onto a piece of paper and feeding it to Dash. Shephard and Barney were nowhere in sight.

Some time later, Shephard and Barney returned, bogged down with extra ammo and a few more grenades. They split the lot between themselves and Gordon, giving concerned glances at the crying cyan pegasus in the corner. Out of the corner of his eye, Gordon saw Shephard pulling out a familiar bottle from one of his pockets. Gordon pounced on Shephard, knocking him to the ground and grabbing the pill bottle. He pointed his 9mm at Shephard, holding the bottle in his left hand.

“Why the hell do you have my Oxy… I mean anti-depressants? And why did we hear the soldier’s radio chatter on YOUR radio?” Gordon said, menacing Shephard. The other ponies looked up, curious to hear Shephard’s answers, but not knowing the significance of the bottle.

“Hey, hold on. I found that bottle in the locker I was trapped in. I was looking for anything to help me get out, and looked in the Thermos. And secondly, I had left the audio on for the radio, but turned the mic off. I figured that it would be best to give us a warning before we get ambushed. I thought it would be best if we didn’t have a repeat of earlier.

Gordon thought back to the incident Shephard had indicated, fingering the new groove in the neckpiece of his suit. The soldiers had appeared out of the woods, shooting wildly. The group had to beat a hasty retreat, Gordon loosing his helmet in the process. He had found that that had been the only helmet that would fit his head, most being far too large, the rest a tad too small.

“You have a point, but still, I’m keeping the… ‘Anti-depressants,’” Gordon said, helping Shephard up. They walked over to the corner Dash was in, noticing her now tightly-bound right wing. Dash slowly got to her feet, grimacing in pain.

“Let’s get out of here before more of those soldiers show up.” She said, determination burning in her eyes and voice. Gordon shrugged, slowly pulling the rest of the group along.

Twilight eyed the mountain in the distance, mentally doing some calculations. “At out current speed, “she said, talking to Gordon as everyone left the building, “We should be in Mareia by tonight.” She nodded her head a few times, beginning to walk again. Then she stopped and facehoofed. “Oh Tartarus, why didn’t I send a letter to the Princess already?” She pulled a quill, ink, and paper out of her bag, writing out a quick letter to the princess. She explained their current situation, trying not to go into too great detail. Finally, she rolled up the paper, putting the ink and quill away, and handed it to Spike, who proceeded to send it to the Princess.

The group continued on the road, keeping a vigilant eye on the surroundings. Fluttershy wad convinced to fly a few feet above the heads of the group and act as a lookout. It had been over an hour since Twilight had sent the letter, and an uneasy feeling had settled on the group. Gordon’s eyes constantly scanned from side to side, Barney in the back doing the same. Shephard was with Pinkie in the center, trying their hardest to cheer up Dash.

Gordon was feeling very paranoid at the moment. Nothing had attacked in the past hour, and everything was silent. Too silent Gordon thought, his eyes narrowing. He pulled back to talk to Barney, waving Twilight forward. Shephard saw the change in the line, and walked forward to take point.

“Do you hear any birds, or any animals at all?” Gordon asked Barney.

“No, and frankly, I could care less. I’m always attacked anytime I venture NEAR a forest. I like this change.” Barney replied.

“The silence is why I’m concerned. I would rather be attacked by an all-too-easy to kill bear rather than whatever has scared EVERYTHING off. Something is wrong.”

“You worry to much, everything is going to b—“

“Fuck”

They stopped their conversation, looking up at the huge, rearing dragon in front of them. It spewed fire into the trees. It was being attacked by a large horde of headcrab zombies, most of them ponies of various sizes and colors. The strange thing was, the dragon wasn’t touching the zombies. It was attacking, moving its arms in scything motions, but it never actually came into contact. The zombies kept attacking it, somehow yet they, too, were nor touching the dragon. All of a sudden, the dragon disappeared, pushing the zombies back a half step. In the center of the newly cleared circle, a small, dark blue unicorn attached to a small wagon. She appeared weak, and was shaking from exhaustion.

“The Great… a-a-and Power.. powerful Trixie… commands you.. to… leave…” she said with huge gasps. The zombies ignored her, closing in like vultures. Trixie began to scream, the zombies extracting a great toll upon her body. Gordon launched in an M40 round, a large chunk of the zombies dying instantly. He charged into the breach, followed by Shephard and Barney. The trio made short work of the zombies, filling the whole road with yellow-green blood. The dark-blue unicorn lay in the center of the gore, blood pouring down in sheets from her side. Her horn was snapped in half. Her wagon was overturned, spilling the contents out. Twilight rushed over, pouring a large amount of the same powder she had given Dash into Trixie’s mouth.

“Not even the lowliest of ponies deserves a fate like this,” she said, bowing her head as Trixie’s breathing slowed. The pain drained from her face, and the sparks shooting out of her horn lessened in intensity.

“Trixie… Thanks.. you… may Trixie… know… her.. savio……” She died before she finished her sentence. After a moment, Twilight moved the body to the edge of the road, burying it and putting the wagon over it.

She turned to the trio of humans. “She once caused a rather large….” Twilight searched for the right word, “ruckus in Ponyville a while back. She got her just reward, though. She did not deserve this.” Twilight gestured to the large mess in the road. Gordon looked around, seeing the grim determination beginning to set into the faces of the ponies. Gordon knew that expression. It was the same one he had had shortly after escaping Sector C. He now had a force of six ponies and two heavily armed humans at his side. He grinned, an evil, manic smile filling his face.

“We’ve got work to do!” He said, charging down the road. The ponies followed, as did Shephard and Barney. The horrors they had all seen only bolstering their efforts to reach Canterlot.

Author's Note

This chapter was easy to write, but the name just didn't come to me. If any of you out there have a better name, let me know in the comments.

As always, please inform me of any anomalous errors within the story. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 9: Satchels of Fun

*BOOM*

Another earth-shattering crash filled the small stone room. A few pieces of the ceiling fell down. Inside, six small ponies, a dragon, and three heavily armed humans stood with looks of confusion, fear, and, on one, outrage, could be discerned.

*BOOM*

“Okay, so we need a plan.” Said one of the humans, a tall man in a green, camouflage suit. A gas mask was dangling from the side of his helmet, having been taken off after a brief incident with a crowbar.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Replied another human, this one in an orange and black suit of unknown composition. He had a pair of pristine glasses on his face, a mock of brown hair covering his head and a beard-and-mustache combo surrounded his mouth.

*BOOM*

“That’s Corporal to you,” Replied the first one, “although I wouldn’t mind the promotion.”

“GRRR!!! We’re getting off topic!” the frustrated, female voice of a purple unicorn broke up the conversation.

“I’m with- what was your name? Ah, yes- I’m with Twilight. How the hell are we going to get out of this place?” the third human asked, his blue security uniform in contrast with the other outfits.

“Ok, ok, ok, ok… I can’t fly, I’m trapped in an underground thingy-place, and I’m about to die. Why aren’t there any convenient levers or pressure plates or something around! Daring Doo would have been out of here in a jiffy, even with a broken wing!” A cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus said, the white bandages on her side in stark contrast to her fur. A small patch of red was visible in the center of them.

*BOOM*

“Umm, guys I think-“ A meek, quiet, yellow pegasus with a pink mane began, only to be cut off by an orange pony.

“Can’t any of your super-fantastic gadgets git us outta here?” she said, turning towards the trio of humans.

*BOOM*

“Well, I had a portal-gun thingy, but I lost it, AND it only worked on one person.” Corporal Shephard replied.

“Well, if you just look-“ Fluttershy began again, only to be interrupted by a white unicorn.

“This place is absolutely DREADFUL. If I die here, by that big brute out there, I will personally haunt your spirit for an eternity! For you, that would be THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” Rarity said, the accent of her voice and the tone of which she used made her threat seem very genuine. Gordon, whom she had addressed, actually took a step back.

*BOOM*

“Guys, what if we-“ Fluttershy tried a third time, to be cut off again.

“We should totally have a ‘Last Hour To Live’ party! We could try all of the ‘naughty’ things I’ve seen on this site!” a pouncing, pink pony pronounced. Every person in the room stopped and stared at her for a moment, before awkwardly blushing and ignoring her comment.

*BOOM*

“But what about-“ for the fourth time, Fluttershy’s comments were interrupted, this time by Gordon.

“WAIT! I do believe I have found our escape route!” he said, pointing to a small slit halfway up the one wall. He climbed on top of the table in the middle of the room, jumping to the small, head-height ledge surrounding the room, before pulling himself onto the tiny outcropping beneath the orifice.

*BOOM*

“Oh, wait. I don’t think any of us could fit through here. Unless…” Gordon began, lost in thought.

“That’s what I was going to point out.” Said the quiet voice of Fluttershy, unheard by any of the others.

“Twilight, I need a second on some calculations. What would be the structural weight of-“

*BOOM* *CRAAACK*

A sickening crack filled the room, a corresponding slit showing up in the huge, reinforced door of the room. The screams of the ponies were cut off by Gordon shouting towards the other humans.

“BARNEY! SHEPHARD! I NEED TWO MORE SATCHELS!”

The two didn’t even bother to object to the fact that Gordon had already placed five down in the small crack on the wall. They just threw the two needed military-grade plastic explosives up to the orange-clad figure.

*BOOM*

The door splintered a little bit more, the crack widening to the point that the red, evil eye of the monster was visible. Gordon jumped down, pulling the ponies and the humans to the farthest corner of the room.

“What do you doi—“

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

The question died on Twilight’s lips, interrupted by the massive explosion that tore through the room, a nearly visible shockwave sendind dust and debris everywhere. A couple of the supporting pillars fell, adding even more noise to the din. Pieces of debris flew around the room, impacting against Gordon’s armor with unheard dings, and the flesh of everyone else with wet thumps. The echoes died away slowly, the air filled completely with dust. The group of shell-shocked, battered, and bruised beings slowly staggered to their feet and hooves, shaking their heads in a futile attempt to clear them.

“Are you guys ok?” Gordon said, but no one responded. He repeated himself, only to find he couldn’t hear his own voice. He panicked for a moment, thinking he had gone mute again, before he realized that he could still feel the vibrations of his voice. Wait. He was deaf. That was slightly worse than not being able to talk. A warning flashed in orange across his vision, the HEV suit telling him that his eardrums and cochlear nerves had been damaged, and that repairs were under way. He watched as the power indicator went down to about 70%, before beginning it’s upward curve again. He also noticed a small orange glow emanating from around both sides of his cranium, at least, that is, until he clutched his head as pain lanced across it. It felt as if hundreds of fire ants were biting into his inner ears, the itching and burning being completely unbearable.

Through his half-lidded eyes and semi-conscious mind, he noticed the group moving towards him, questions forming on their lips, before they, too, realized they couldn’t hear their own voice. Blood dripped from their ears as fear entered their expressions. Twilight’s horn glowed, suffusing the ears of the group with the same purple glow, before they all clutched their ears too. Twilight was the only one who stayed standing, pain flashing across her face, the tension in her muscles showing on her rigid body.

Gordon slipped into unconsciousness for a moment, the pain overloading his brain. He was awoken almost immediately by the wails emanating from the group. The unearthly sounds of pain suffused the dust-filled room, before they slowly petered out. Eventually, the group staggered to their feet again. The dust had cleared by this time, showing off the massive destruction of the satchels. A hole had opened in the wall, large enough for three men to walk abreast. The room itself was littered with boulders and rocks, jumbled around like a giant had decided to play with his building blocks there, before getting bored and moving on. The door to the room had been blasted slightly outward, not fully open, but more so than it was. The crack had opened enough that Gordon might have been able to squeeze through if he had wanted. Outside, the lack of sound was an ominous omen.

Gordon left the corner the groaning group was in, moving over to look out the door. Outside, a massive mound of armored flesh blocked the exit. It didn’t stir or move, and the reason being evident if one looked closer. Slivers of rock, the arm-thick debris having gone straight through the small opening, had pierced the eye of the creature.

“You are the stupidest, dumbest, most asinine brute I have ever met!”

Gordon turned around to see Rarity running at him, anger on her face. He didn’t even have time to prepare before he was tackled in a massive hug.

“Thank you for saving us!” came the breathless, now-smiling voice of Rarity as her muzzle nestled itself against your armor.

“It was nothing?” replied Gordon, visible confused. He slowly patted rarity on the back, before he was suddenly swept into a group hug, the ponies practically choking him in their enthusiasm. Even the bone-tired Twilight gave him a hug, while Barney, Shephard, and Spike looked on, bemused expressions on their faces.

The heartfelt moment was cut off by the groaning of rock above them.

“Ahem, We should probably get going.” Barney said, casting a wary eye to the ceiling. He was met by a small pebble hitting him squarely between the eyes. “GAAHH! That HURT!” He made a rude gesture towards the ceiling as Shephard and Spike laughed.

The rest of the group was oblivious to Barney’s plight, instead awkwardly detaching themselves and blushing in embarrassment.

“Yeah, I agree,” Rainbow Dash said.

The group slowly made their way out of the room, entering the small cave system on the other side. They crept along, the darkness enveloping them until Gordon clicked on his flashlight. The white beam cut through the enclosing darkness, casting strange shadows on the walls. The darkness seemed denser than normal, seeming to press in on the group. Gordon felt a primal fear, before he repressed his feeling.

It’s almost as if the darkness is alive. He thought to himself. He looked back towards the group, fear jolting through his spine as he saw two shadows on the ground behind Shephard. He blinked, and the shadow disappeared. I REALLY need some rest.

After about half an hour of wandering through the darkened cave in silence, Gordon’s flashlight caught something shiny. He turned back towards the flash of light, before the reflection caught his eye again. He smiled inwardly, the irony of the appearance getting to him. He moved forward, getting closer to the square of grated metal.

“I’ve found a way out!” He said, pulling out his crowbar and demolishing the covering of the air vent.

Reiterations of ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ echoed from the ponies, while Shephard and Barney merely shrugged.

Rainbow Dash looked up, the color draining from her face. “There is no way you’re getting me in there!” She said, her blue-furred face somehow turning white.

________________________________________________________________________

“How I get roped into this again?” came the shaking voice of Rainbow, her whole body almost completely white, stuck between Gordon and Barney.

“Don’t ya’ll tell meh that the great Rainbow Dash is scared now!” Applejack said from near the back of the air vent train.

“No, n-no. I-I’m not scared. I j-just don’t like small, cramped spaces.” Rainbow stuttered back, earning a laugh from Applejack. She tried to flare her wings in anger, but was thwarted by her bandages and the air vent. She winced in pain, turning a resentful glare behind her. “It’s not funny.”

The retorts would probably have continued, if Gordon had not suddenly gone “AHA! Here we go.” He broke open a vent, jumping down out of the small space. He was thrown to the side as Rainbow pushed past him, breathing deeply and hardly looking around the room they found themselves in before running about in circles. That is, until she fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

“AAARRRRGGGHHH!” Rainbow yelled, grabbing the attention of the group that had been slowly and carefully easing it’s way out of the air vent. At once, all semblance of civilized manner was lost in the scramble as the rest of the ponies and Shephard, who had taken the rear guard, attempted to rush out of the vent at once.

Gordon was the first to get to Rainbow’s side, watching as the red stain on the bandages began to spread at an alarming rate.

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse.” He said, looking down with concern. Rainbow just whimpered in response. Carefully, Gordon turned Rainbow onto her side, placing her so that the wound would face upwards. He looked over to the group that was now behind him, worried looks filling their faces.

“Twilight, how many bandages do you have?” Gordon asked, looking towards the saddlebags the purple unicorn wore.

“I used the last of them on Rainbow. I honestly didn’t expect to have to use them and only brought enough for a couple small wounds. I’m also out of the willow bark powder, I used the last on Trixie.”

“Damnit. Do we have anything else we can use?” Gordon asked, looking around.

The group looked at eachother, before Shephard walked up.

“I could rip some of my fatigues up, but they wouldn’t make much bandag-“ He began, until suddenly being interrupted by Rarity.

“This will not do.” She said, extreme worry painted on her face. “Use th-th-these.” She said, stuttering as she pulled out a large array of colorful scarves from her left saddlebag. The right held the lump that was her tent, magically compacted for ease of use.

Gordon wasted no time, grabbing the bundle using the Higgs Field module. He was slightly surprised, as he had not intended to use it, but he ignored it for the more pressing issues. He began to rip the scarves vertically, halving their width. As he did this, he heard a few gasps from the unicorn behind him.

When he had finished his task, he began to work quickly, pulling off the old bandages. When the wound was fully revealed, a large, jagged groove could be seen at the base of Rainbow’s wing, ending with a small hole in her shoulder. There was no exit wound. The blood gushed as the bandages were removed, forcing Gordon to press down hard with a few of the scarves he had made as rags.

“Did you get the bullet out?” Gordon asked Twilight.

“What?” She replied.

“Fuck. I should have known. Ok. Can you apply pressure to these bandages? I’m going to need to do a few things.” Twilight complied with Gordon’s request, using her magic to hold them in place. Gordon stood up, walking over to Shephard.

“I need your knife.” He said, gesturing towards th indicated implement.

“Woah, hold on. Do you have any medical experience?” Shephard replied.

“Look, I’m not performing a surgery here, just hand over your knife. Trust me, I’m a Doctor.” Gordon replied, grabbing the knife with his Higgs Module. He did a fast about-face, kneeling down next to Rainbow and ignoring the look of surprise and confusion on Shephard and Barney. He pulled a pill bottle out of his pocket, opening it up and squinting at a label he pulled out.

“How much does Rainbow weigh?” He asked the group, turning towards them. The white unicorn stepped forward, an answer apparent on her lips.

“Well, it’s rather rude to ask about a lady’s weight, but she weighs about eighty pounds, at least, that was the last time she needed a certain style of dress.” She stressed the word ’certain’ strangely, as if it meant something significant. Gordon ignored this, instead peering back at the label in his hand.

It says here not to use if you are under a hundred pounds. Shit, this won’t be good. Hmmm… If I half the dose… Gordon thought, before pulling out one of the pills. He hefted Shephard’s Knife, before cutting the pill in half on his hand. He walked back over to Rainbow kneeling down in front of her muzzle.

“You’re going to have to swallow this.” He said, holding the half-pill in front of her half-lidded eyes, “It will help with the pain. Trust me.” A small flicker of understanding passed over the face of the pale pegasus in front of him, before her muzzle opened slightly. Gordon took the cue, placing the pill inside her mouth. She swallowed, wincing as it went down her throat.

“Alright, I’m going to need water. Shephard, how’s your canteen?” Gordon asked.

“Ummm, I kinda lost it. In Black Mesa.” Shephard replied.

“Great. JUST GREAT!” Gordon shouted, before tunring back to the pegasus behind him. “I’m sorry about this, but it won’t be very clean.” He said, before having Twilight shift the bandages. He peered into the hole in Rainbow’s shoulder, shining his flashlight in to see if he could find the bullet. A dull, metallic shine reached him from within the red, oozing wound.

He slowly used the knife to scrape away some of the excess tissue away from the bullet, before reaching his gloved hand in slowly. His other hand he used to hold down the weak pegasus , hoping that she wouldn’t hurt herself by moving. Unfortunately, Gordon could not reach the bullet. The hole was slightly too deep, and just slightly too small. He wondered if he should attempt to cut open Rainbow more, in order to get the lump of lead out of her.

He didn’t notice the orange glow that began to emanate from the hole, nor the bullet passing out of the wound. He did notice, however, when the object of his thoughts began floating in front of his eyes.

“Well, that’s… convenient.” He said, surprised. A small moan of pain snapped him back to his senses. He looked down and was shocked to see the small puddle of blood he was kneeling in.

“Shit, this isn’t good. Can you perform a healing spell, like the one you did for your ears?” He asked Twilight, grabbing the blood soaked rags and putting pressure on the wound while Twilight responded.

“No. That spell… Well, I didn’t do it on purpose. I panicked, and it just started. I had no control. I- I wouldn’t trust such a large wound to the rudimentary healing spell that I know. The most I could do was heal a bruise or a small cut. I was actually planning on reading the recent shipment of books on healing magic I received, but Fluttershy pulled me along to find you.”

“Fuck. I need something. Anything, We need to cauterize this.” The blood was beginning to well around the soaked rags, the paleness and stillness of Rainbow starting to really scare Gordon. “Can you make fire?”

“I umm, yes, but why would—“

“Shephard, get over here and keep pressure on the wound. Twilight, I need the hottest fire you can give me.” He said, pulling out his crowbar. “I need this red-hot. Quickly.”

“Okay, okay. Here. Why do you need this?” She said, her horn glowing a magenta color, before Gordon’s crowbar began to heat up, the upper part of the metal bar encased in another magenta glow. Soon, a red glow began to overpower the magenta color, which was when Gordon called a stop. Twilight, completely and utterly exhausted, slumped to the ground.

“Shephard, when I get to three, move the rags. I’m sorry Rainbow, but this is gonna hurt like hell.” Gordon said, rushing over to the nearly-white pegasus. A small movement of her eyelids and a slight raising of her ribcage indicated she was still alive.

“One” Gordon said, straddling Rainbow.

“Two” He knelt down, holding Rainbow still with his legs. He moved his glowing crowbar down, zeroing in on the wound under the rags.

“THREE!” He shouted, watching as Shephard moved his hands out of the way. Gordon brought down the crowbar, placing the metal bar into the groove of flesh. It was a nearly perfect fit, the groove only slightly larger than the crowbar. A sizzling sound reached Gordon’s ears, followed shortly by a quiet, yet powerful scream of pain from the dying pegasus. Gordon’s nostrils registered the scent of burning meat, before he picked up his crowbar. He threw it to the side to cool, ignoring the retching sounds behind him. The wound was now covered in burns, with only a few drops of blood oozing through the callous surface. His handiwork succeeding in stopping the blood flow, Gordon next checked Rainbow’s pulse. He removed his right glove, feeling around for a vein in Rainbow’s neck. When he did find it, he had a moment of panic before he felt the slow pulse met his fingers.

He grabbed the pile of bandages he had made, tightly securing the make-do cloth to Rainbow’s side. He stood up slowly, placing his glove back on and turning to the group. Shocked faces met him, some with disgust, fear and/or gratefulness mixed in.

“We should stay here for a while. It’s not safe to move her.” Gordon said, before moving over to a relatively free space ion the small, square room they were in. He took a moment to look over their surroundings, taking in the concrete walls, air vent they climbed through and the solitary door set into the wall. His observations were interrupted by Shephard, walking over, a question clearly etched into his now mask-free face.

“How the hell did you know what to do? I took the emergency paramedic class, but they had nothing like what you did in the curriculum.” Shephard asked.

“I took a year of medical classes in college, just for the reference. Also, Black Mesa required a Hazard Course and a Makeshift Paramedic class in order to do the experiments. I learned CPR, how to make bandages, when to cauterize, and a couple other emergency procedures. I thought I would never need to use them. Now, I’m glad I knew.” Gordon said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, can you take care of setting up a guard schedule? Also, get water and food if you can, and get Rainbow to eat and drink when she wakes up. I just need to… to.. sle—“ Gordon hit the ground with a thump, a large snore escaping his mouth as he literally fell asleep.

Shephard sat there for a moment, surprise written on his face, before chuckling and walking back towards the group, going about the task he was given.

Author's Note

Here's an extra long chapter for the extra long wait. I hope you enjoyed it.

Also: If any of you wish to influence one of my stories, or to input your OC, click here to learn more. You should also check each subsequent Weekly Update for more information involving the contest described.

Chapter 10: Insanity?

Gordon woke suddenly, jerking awake in a huge, gasping breath.

“Not another bat! I hate bats. I’m going to—“ Gordon began, ranting at the air around him. “—Oh.”

“Well, looks like I don’t have to wake everyone up now. Anyway, the last watch just finished. Hope you had a nice nap, Gordon.” Shephard said from his position behind Gordon.

“Yeah. Ugh, my head.” Gordon replied, shaking the aforementioned anatomical structure. “How’s Rainbow?”

“She’s awake, and actually wants a word with you.” Shephard stated, a peculiar tone just at the fringes of his voice. Gordon would have sworn it was amusement, but he pushed the thought to the side, instead getting up and looking about the room.

The room had changed drastically since Gordon had fallen asleep. A few small tents had popped up in the relatively tiny room, taking up most of the floor. Each one reminded Gordon of Rarity’s humungous tent, but in décor only. Upon a closer inspection, it was discovered that it was Rarity’s same tent, just cut into four smaller ones. Signs by entrances told Gordon who slept where. Rarity was with Applejack, Twilight with Fluttershy, Pinkie with Rainbow, and Barney with Shephard.

“How come I was forced to sleep in the cold, eh Shephard?” Gordon mocked, walking towards Rainbow and Pinkie’s tent.

“Only because we couldn’t move your fat ass, Gordon.” Shephard parried.

“Touché.” Gordon said, ending the verbal sparring. He ‘knocked’ on the tent ‘door,’ a motion that consisted of a few slams of his gloved hand against his leg. “Hey, you guys awake?”

“Of course we are, Silly!” a certain fuchsia mare said, bounding out of a small bucket behind Gordon.

“GAAH. Don’t do that. Why don’t you go comfort the laws of physics, crying in the corner? I mean seriously, you’ve broken them so many times, it’s a wonder they haven’t fallen to pieces yet.” Gordon shrieked, before calming down.

“Oh, I hurt somepony? Where are they? Did you guys see them?” Pinkie said, looking at an empty wall of the room.

“Who are you talking too?” Gordon asked, confused.

“You wouldn’t understand. Just go talk to Rainbow.” Pinkie replied.

“No. I want to kn—“ Gordon started, only to be interrupted by a loud chorus of ‘GET ON WITH ITs’ echoing from the gaping maw of Pinkie. Gordon shut up, turned around, and decided to get on with it.

He walked into the surprisingly large tent-space, noticing that this was the ‘room’ he had used when they first slept in the tent. As he looked at the semi-familiar furnishings, he noticed a lump on one of the small couches. Gordon moved closer, having seen the shock of rainbow-colored hair that adorned the right of the blanketed lump.

“How are we feeling this morning?” Gordon asked, trying to adopt the best doctor-y tone he could.

“Like someone shoved a red-hot crowbar into my back!” replied a disgruntled Rainbow Dash.

“Would you rather have bled to death?” Gordon quipped.

“It would have been less painful.”

“If this is the thanks I get for saving your life, I’ll leave you behind, and let whatever alien creatures that comes by take care of you.”

“Whatever. If I didn’t have this wound, I’d totally take on all of those baddies.”

“…” Gordon stopped for a moment, holding back his laughter. “Right.” He said in his best Doctor Evil impersonation.

A pause followed, lengthening into an uncomfortably awkward silence. Finally, Rainbow broke the silence.

“Look, thank you. I still don’t like your methods, but I’m still here. I’m just so frustrated that I’m the weak link here. I’m slowing all of you down. You don’t know how it feels to go from the fast lane to this.” She said, pointing her right fore-hoof at the bandages on her back.

“You’d be surprised.” Gordon replied. The conversation lapsed again, the previous awkwardness disappearing in a puff of good intentions.

Finally, Gordon broke the quiet lull that had crept up on them. “Are you feeling up to moving? We shouldn’t stay in one place for too long.”

“Yeah.”

Gordon exited the tent, soon followed by a slowly limping Rainbow. Her face was screwed up in an expression of pain, although the fiery determination outshone her grimace.

Outside, the group had packed up the other tents, and were sitting in a circle, chatting. In the center, a small plate of cupcakes sat, with a punchbowl next to it, filled almost to the brim.

Pinkie jumped up from the circle, running over to them. She bucked the tent, causing it to collapse into a small square, and then bounced in front of Rainbow and Gordon.

“Yippee! We can start now. I got a small party together for a ‘Get Well, and Raise our Spirits’ fiesta!” Pinkie said, barely containing her excitement.

Gordon grinned, a bemused glint entering his eyes. Rainbow rolled her eyes, before letting Pinkie gingerly drag her towards the circle. Gordon walked over and sat down next to Shephard and Barney.

The whole group slowly began to eat the cupcakes, some with smiles, others with frowns, and all of them filled with internal worry.

Rainbow ate her cupcake slowly, biting off small pieces before swallowing them painfully. After each bite, she took a drag from her cup of punch.

Gordon cast a worried glance across at her, before shaking his head and looking down at his own punch. He took a sip, before practically chugging the cup. Whatever was in it, it made Gordon feel suddenly awake and energetic.

“What is this stuff?” Gordon asked Pinkie.

“Well, I had originally wanted to get some Jugger-Nog, but the recipe required some things that I didn’t have. So I just made some Invigor-Aid, a concoction I mixed myself.” Pinkie said.

“… Right.” Gordon replied, trying not to think about what may be in the punch.

After the group finally finished the small pile of cupcakes and the newly-dubbed Invigor-Aid, Gordon urged them to their feet, packing up the last of their supplies into the saddlebags of the ponies.

“Right. This is how this will play out.” Shephard said, falling back on his training. “Me, Gordon and Barney will go through that door and clear the area. Then you will follow, with Rainbow in the mid—“

He was interrupted by the creaking of the door, and a mysterious lack of a certain orange-suited man.

“Nothing’s here!” Gordon shouted back, having become impatient with Shephard’s mission plan.

“Damnit Gordon. How did you manage to defeat most of the army when you do stupid things like that?” Shephard complained.

“Luck. And skill. Pure badass skill.” Gordon quipped back.

Shephard rolled his eyes, visible from the green backlight of his newly-donned mask. “Whatever.”

The group continued forward into the next area, reaching a fork in the tunnel. Shephard argued with Gordon about which way to go, until it was decided to take the right fork.

Just as they were about to go forward, however, Rainbow suddenly cried out. They rushed to her side, but were persuaded to go forward while she recovered. Pinkie opted to stay with her while the group scouted ahead.

“Pinkie, you know how to use a knife, right?” Shephard asked her before they set out.

“Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?” She replied.

Stepping forward, Shephard slid his knife from its sheath. “It’s dangerous to stay alone. Take this. Use it to defend yourself if anything pops out of the darkness. We will be right back.”

“O-ok. Pinkie replied, eyeing the combat knife with a strange expression.

The group continued forward, searching through the right hallway. However, a huge CRACK split the air, followed by resounding thuds. The ceiling caved in, cutting the group off from Pinkie and Rainbow.

“Omygoshomygoshohmygosh!” Rainbow said, dragging herself to her feet and stumbling over to the freshly created wall. The lights overhead flickered, most of them going out in a flash of sparks.

“It looks like we’re on our own, Rainbow Dasssshhh.” Pinkie said, a weird lilt entering her voice. Rainbow turned around, eyes straining to peer through the darkness.

“Pinkie, are you ok?” She asked, concern in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine Dashie,” Pinkie said in that same tone, “I’m just so glad we can play!”

“Pinkie, your scaring me,” Rainbow said, backing into the circle cast by the remaining light source in the small T-junction, “It’s, haha, it’s a good prank, you got me.”

“There is no prank,” Pinkie said, stepping into the light, “I just want to play.” Her hair had fallen down straight, instead of its normal poofyness. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot, and a gigantic, creepy smile covered her muzzle. The combat knife was in her hooves.

“Pinkie?” Rainbow said, her voice small with fear.

“Oh, no no no. I’m not Pinkie. Or rather, I am, but She doesn’t know about me. It’s kind of ironic, really. It was you and the rest of my friends who dragged me out. My name’s Pinkemena.” She said, tilting her head to an impossible angle. “I’ve waited so long for this moment.”

She suddenly lunged forward, the knife going from a loose hold to an offensive position. Rainbow dodged to the left, crying out and collapsing when she landed on her injured side. Pinkemena stepped forward, her free hoof seeking out Rainbow’s wing.

She roughly grabbed it, twisting in a painful manner, almost to the breaking point.

“It would be such a shame if some monster came from the depths, killing you before I could react. Your mutilated body will have disappeared, and I will have some more materials for my Invigor-Aid. It’s too bad that Trixie and Derpy didn’t have enough in them to make more than a punchbowl of it.”

“Pinkie, AAHHHH, please. Stop.” Rainbow said, her high-pitched speech interrupted by her sobs and cries of pain. Mercifully, Pinkemena let go, taking a step back from Rainbow. Then, she raised the knife in a high, two-hoof overhanded position.

“It’s going to be such a pleasure to cut you…” Pinkemena began, while Rainbow closed her eyes. She braced for the end, wishing for the pain to stop.

“… a piece of cupcake!” Pinkie said, her voice its normal, bubbly self. Rainbow shot up and backed away quickly, her injured back slamming into the wall behind her. As her eyes watered with pain, she saw that the lights had come back on, and that the rest of the group was coming around the uncollapsed corner. Pinkie sat in the middle of the junction, a confused, hurt expression on her face as she held the combat knife over a cupcake on a plate. Her hair was poofy, and her face lacked any of the crazed, bloodshot look of Pinkemena.

“Am I going insane?” Rainbow asked herself as the group fully entered the area.

“We got the power back on!” Gordon announced, “And I think we found the exit.”

“YAY!” Pinkie shouted, dropping the knife and bouncing over to the group. “I don’t like these dark tunnels full of meanie-pants.”

“Well, he meant the exit of this area. I’m not so sure about the mines themselves,” Twilight said.

“Oh,” Pinkie’s face fell, her hair dropping to its straight position and causing Rainbow to hold her breath, before it popped back into its poofyness once more. “Well, I guess we can hold an extra-special party when we get out of here!”

“Okay, Rainbow, okay. If there is no proof of the hallucination, then that’s all it is. Right? Don’t fool yourself. Shut up. No, you shut up. Wait. Didn’t Twilight say answering yourself is the first step to insanity? Breathe, Rainbow. You’re okay.” Rainbow said, muttering to herself and trying not to hyperventilate.

Gordon, oblivious to Rainbow’s troubles, urged the group forward and into the only open tunnel. It led into a small corridor, with locked doors along each side. Eventually, they passed an open door, which led into an electrical/magical fuse and generator room, although Gordon and Barney only understood the electrical part.

They passed that room, continuing on to the end of the hallway, which opened up into a small area with a red ladder leading upwards.

“This may seem like an obvious question,” Barney said suddenly, “But how the hell are these ponies going to climb up the ladder? Hell, why are there even ladders in a pony-built area?”

“Well,” Twilight said, “We can climb ladders, it’s just not as easy for us. I don’t know about Rainbow, though.”

“Hey, I can climb this. It’s E Z.” Rainbow retorted, and began to climb the ladder. Only to fall back down and into Gordon’s waiting arms.

“Owww….” She moaned into his armored pauldron.

“I’ll carry her.” Gordon said to the group. They nodded, at which point Gordon began to swing up the ladder one-armed. He was followed by Barney, then the ponies, and finally Shephard.

The next area they entered had a long hallway, which led to a closed double door. The group rushed forward, eager to escape the hellhole called Mareia. However, the three humans suddenly stopped, completely and utterly frozen. The ponies turned back in confusion, wondering what was wrong.

Unbeknownst to them, and soon to be forgotten by the humans, a ‘Loading…’ Icon appeared in the center of each of their visions.

“What’s wrong now?” Twilight asked the ether. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t answer back.

Chapter 8: The Mines of Mareia

The moon shone down upon a party of creatures, next to a large lake. The lake was at the foot of a mountain, only a small road leading to an alcove within the mountain. A stray cloud scuttled across the moon, obscuring the faint light it gave. The creatures reached the edge of the lake, and one of them spoke up in a loud, deep voice.

“Never touch the water, not even a little bit!” Gordon said, gesturing at the large lake. “More than likely there is something in it.”

The ponies behind him nodded, their normally upbeat manners muffled by the eeriness of the area they were in. The two other men just stood by, recognizing the spot they were in from the movies. The group edged around the lake, coming to a rest on the shore in front of the alcove. Gordon walked over towards where he thought the door would be, waiting for the moon to show her face again. Finally, the lazy cloud scuttled away, the light from the moon suffusing the area in s silvery glow. However, what Gordon had been waiting for never happened.

“Shit, what am I forgetting?” He mumbled to himself. He looked around, then suddenly pulled Twilight over. He pointed to a spot on the wall where a small star-shaped groove was. “Put your horn here!” Gordon said, explaining his actions. When she did, a large white border began to spread out from that spot. Soon a large door was visible, it’s outline engraved in a silvery glow. Across the top, a large, swirling sentence was visible.

“Don’t bother translating. Just say the ancient Equestrian word for friend.” Gordon said to Twilight.

“Umm… It’s uh… ‘Verdilea,’ but I doubt that will help.” Twilight replied, but Gordon ignored her after she said it. The door stood stubbornly still. Gordon sighed.

“Alright, it won’t be that easy. So what does it say then?” Gordon said sheepishly.

Twilight rolled her eyes, then looked up. “I think it says… Something along the lines of ‘True friendship is the key.’”

“What the hell does tha—“ Gordon never finished that sentence, being interrupted by a huge splash from behind. He turned to see Pinkie Pie swimming through the water.

“GET BACK HERE BEFORE….” Gordon yelled, paling as three huge tentacles began to rise out of the water. The tentacles were a sickly green, ending in large, black triangular claws. Pinkie noticed, her eyes going the size of dinner plates. She dived, somehow appearing behind a nearby boulder. Gordon just stared as the monster slowly revealed itself.

“Oh, shit” said Barney and Shephard, almost in perfect sync. Gordon just stared, slowly pulling off the rocket launcher from his back.

“I KILLED YOU ALREADY! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN! WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER TASTE OF ROCKET?” Gordon exploded, his rage boiling over. He fired a rocket at one of the tentacles, hitting it just where it came out of the water.

“The rest of you, run! I’ll hold this thing off!.” Gordon shouted at the ponies behind him, dodging one of the tentacles as it came to attack him. He was dismayed to see that the tentacle he hit took no damage. Gordon lent his whole attention to distracting the monster, dodging every blow it gave. He heard a small *zap* sound, followed by the lake filling with blue, arcing energy. After a few more *zap*’s, the monster reared back, writhing at the energy. Gordon spared a moment to see Shephard holding on to the blue cockroach, letting fly with bolts of electrical goo from it. Barney stood on another side, priming a grenade. The ponies stood behind them, determination on their faces. Barney threw the grenade, and a burst of purple magic surrounded the grenade, sending it directly at the monster. Gordon watched as the grenade exploded next to the thing, causing it to writhe again.

The fight continued, none of them able to permanently damage the monster, yet the monster unable to reach them. During a respite, where the monster dived under the surface again, Gordon looked over to the tired group.

“It’s been fun guys!” Gordon said, genuine platonic love filling his words. Shephard spoke up next.

“It’s been an honor serving with you.” The conversation continued like this, until the monster reappeared. Right before the inevitable attack, Twilight said her last piece.

“I’m glad we are friends.”

An audible crack was heard behind them, the doors swinging inwards. Gordon wasted no time, ushering the ponies in as Shephard shot more electricity at the monster. They rushed into the well-lit area, the doors swinging shut behind them.

“Woah, this is certainly different.” Gordon said, staring in awe.

They had entered a large entrance hall, lit torches filling the place with light. A huge staircase led downwards, the torches lighting the whole way. However, there was no pony in sight, and the place had the feel of a well-maintained tomb.

“This is not what I expected,” said Shephard, looking at Twilight. “Which way now?”

“It’s obvious isn’t it? Forward!” Twilight said, starting down the staircase. Soon, the group began to pass smaller corridors, locked doors, and other such areas. Gordon even thought he saw an air vent, and had the sudden urge to explore it. He resisted, though, and continued doggedly forward.

“You know, I have the feeling we are not alone down here,” Barney said, “and not only that, but I have had bad experiences below ground. Well, and above it, but still. This place is too creepy.”

“Well, thank you, Mr. Jinx. Now we are bound to be—“ Gordon was cut off by a huge wad of green, acidic goo hitting his chestplate. His HUD light up with the warning that Hazardous Materials had been detected. “We just had to talk about it.” Gordon muttered under his breath as he shot the offending Cthulu dog. “Alright, things are probably going to start heating up”

“Freeman, take point, Barney, watch our six. I’ll cover both positions. Ponies, stay in the middle.” Shephard said, his soldier’s instincts taking over. Gordon rolled his eyes but did what was asked. They barely traveled another few feet down the corridor before they came to a three-way fork in the tunnel. Gordon went down the middle one without bothering to think. The ponies raised their eyebrows, but followed him nonetheless.

The silence was hardly broken as the group walked through the twisting corridors. The entire place reminded Gordon of a low-tech version of Black Mesa. He even thought he could smell the smell of pizza and dust, but he knew his nose was just lying to him. After a few hours, Barney spoke up from the back.

“Hey, I can hear footsteps behind us!” Barney shouted. The humans turned around, aiming their weapons at the sounds echoing behind them. Panting was heard, and the noise was getting louder. Then, all of a sudden, a small purple mass darted around the corner, a scroll in its hand. Spike the dragon ran up to the group, clutching his sides as he brought in huge gasps of air.

“Glad.. Y-you could… wait.. .for m-me…” he said before collapsing on the ground and falling asleep. Twilight facehoofed, smacking herself in the head. The other ponies were aghast that they had forgotten Spike. Twilight turned to Gordon, worry filling her eyes.

“Can we set up camp here?” She asked, gesturing around them. Gordon thought for a second, before moving the sleeping spike to a small niche in the wall. The rest of the group moved over to them.

“That’s a good idea. We’ll need to set up two guards, so we will all share the duty this time. After two hours, wake up the next person. Rarity, Dash, you two take first watch, Then Shephard and Fluttershy, then Barney and Pinkie, then myself and Twilight. Applejack, you’ll be the reserve tonight, If anyone HAS to have a break, or can’t stay awake, we will wake you, and then that person, or pony, will take your spot. So on and so forth. Also, me, Shephard, and Barney are the first people you wake if something goes wrong, ok? Whichever of us are asleep, you wake us up. It doesn’t matter what happened.” The group nodded to Gordon, then took up positions. Twilight pulled out the princess’s letter and began to read.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I regret not responding to your letter sooner, and I hope this gets to you before you reach Mareia. I have had these aliens appearing throughout Canterlot, and have been busy getting the guard roused and on alert. Mareia is a very dangerous place, and even you and your friends should never see the horrors housed there. If this letter was too late, look at the back.

Your Mentor,
Princess Celestia”

Twilight raised her eyebrows, a scared look covering her equine face. She flipped the paper in her telekinesis, noticing a shimmering font written upon the back. Twilight waited for a second, before reading this aloud too.

“Twilight, if you are reading this, then I am sorry. These words have been enchanted so that they can only be read within Mareia. Inside that ancient mine, many horrors are housed. The ‘ancient evil’ that the legends speak of was vanquished long ago, but my sister and I began to re-circulate the legends after realizing we needed a place to store… creatures …of strange or anomalous origin. We started with artifacts from this human world, which we gathered from the building I found in the Desert. Then we tried our own forms of dimensional travel. We came up with some interesting results. We found a third world, different from both the human’s and ours. We abandoned the project after losing many ponies. Mareia has been sealed off since, only the entrances in the Vault and the Lake of Souls being left intact. If you somehow made it inside, I fear you may come face to face with some of the more, unpleasant, experiments that escaped. I cannot hide this from you any longer. I was forced to do some unpleasant things in order to keep the lands safe. I beg you, do not judge me on what you see. Times were different, Nightmare Moon had just been defeated, and more dangers had arisen from the shadows. Be careful Twilight.”

Twilight gulped, looking at the faces surrounding her. Gordon and Barney’s faces were impassive, having recently ‘escaped’ from a very similar area a few ours previously. The faces of the other ponies, however, were aghast at the news. Shephard’s expression was hidden by his mask.

“Well, that sounds eerily familiar.” Gordon broke the silence. “It be best if we got some sleep. Just, don’t react to the normal shadows. Only wake us when needed.” Saying thus, Gordon splayed out on the floor, quickly falling asleep. The other ponies followed suit, Rarity and Dash staying awake for the guard.

The night, or at least, what they thought of as night, passed quietly for the group. At one point, Dash had sworn a small pegasus statue had appeared, but she left it to a trick of the light. No other shifts saw anything unusual, and they all woke up relatively well-rested.

Twilight, the first to fully wake up, shook Spike with her magic gently. “Spike, it’s time to get up,” she crooned, still feeling guilty over leaving him. Spike woke up slowly, with many grumbles. Eventually, he woke up, and blearily stared at the ponies surrounding him. It took him a second, then he raised an accusatory claw at Twilight.

“You forgot about me Twilight!” He said, indignation filling his words. “After the house, when we were stopped at that ambush, you guys kinda just stood there. I went to find some berries or something, as you were too busy examining the aliens to pay attention to me. When I got Celestia’s answer, I ran back to you guys, but you had already left. Do you know how hard it was to dodge that thing at the gate? Especially when trying to figure out how to open it?”

The ponies let out guilty expressions of sympathy. Spike’s pity party didn’t last long though, Gordon pulling the group along. They continued down the corridors, until entering a large, circular chamber. Two equally large tunnels led off in two areas, while a window was placed halfway up one wall and a regular sized corridor led somewhere, placed next to the window at ground level. Gordon instantly had deja-vu.

“Let’s turn around and go some other way.”

“Nonsense” Twilight said, “Let’s go this way.” She led into the larger of the two tunnels leading away. Gordon’s sense of foreboding grew, constantly looking behind him to see if he was being followed. They soon reached an area surrounded by large, wooden doors. They continued down slowly. All of a sudden, a loud bashing sound was heard behind them.

“RUN!” Gordon cried, seeing the massive cracks appearing in the door behind them. The group didn’t hesitate, running as fast as they could down the corridor. Behind them, the thing that was trying to escape burst through its door, revealing a hulking mass of armored flesh. Its red eye sought out the group, and it bellowed a challenge before chasing after them.

The group turned into one of the massive doors, slamming the metal-reinforced door behind them. They began barricading the door with anything they could find. Finally, that done, they turned around to see the area they entered, only to have their hearts drop into their stomachs. It was a dead end. A resounding boom echoed throughout the room, the door shaking.

“Guys, bad news,” said Shephard, “They’ve got a cave troll.”

The clunk of a crowbar against a military-grade Kevlar helmet joined the booms filling the room.