Wonderbolt Academy

by canonkiller

Rating: everyone
Tags: Wonderbolts, Spitfire, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Other, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 3833

Rainbow Dash got a summer job as a rookie race-builder for the Wonderbolts. She's incredibly happy, but she's in way over her head.

Rainbow Dash has finally won her chance at being near the Wonderbolts, having been accepted for a summer job as a track-builder for practice races. Little does she know, the Wonderbolts are much less heroic when they're at the Academy, and she's in way over her head.

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** This story was written when I was 15, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **

Published 2013-04-03 20:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-03 20:00:03 UTC

Day 0: Welcome to the Academy!

Rainbow Dash had never thought her rookie status would have earned her a pie-eating contest with Soarin.

The stallion sat back in his chair, empty pie trays scattering as he slammed his hooves down on the table. "Victory is mine!"

"Again." Spitfire remarked, slowly eating her slice.

Rainbow sighed, looking down at the two-and-a-half pies she had eaten. "Does he do this with everypony?"

Spitfire smirked. "Only the ones he deems suitable."

It had been just past noon when Rainbow Dash surged into the foreleg of a security guard. His name had been Manerick, although she did not know that, and he took great pride in his work of keeping the Wonderbolts safe.

So it was really no surprise when he was able to catch the cyan blur's fore-hoof and flip her onto her back.

"What gives?" She yelled, flapping her wings as he kept a steady hoof on her chest. "Hooves off the merchandise!"

"What business do you have with the Wonderbolts?" Manerick asked.

"I'm the... rookie-track-something. Name's Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestri-oomph!" She broke off as something careened over Manerick, causing him to duck and accidentally punch her in the gut.

"Soarin! Soarin, the rookie's here!" A white Pegasus with a brilliantly yellow mane and tail landed behind Manerick, positively bouncing with joy. "Better tell Whiplash to get his buddy off of her!"

"She's here already? We only sent out the letter an hour ago!" Soarin, the world-famous blue Pegasus, landed nearby, grinning down at Rainbow Dash as Manerick backed away.

"Fastest flyer in Equestria." Dash winced, standing up.

"Well, come on then!" Soarin laughed, trotting ahead as the white Pegasus pushed Rainbow forward. "You've got to meet everypony!"

Manerick sighed and shook his head. "Good luck, little filly."

From what Rainbow saw of the large halls and towering rooms of the Wonderbolts' mansion, it looked quite spectacular. But at the speed the white Pegasus was pushing her along, she didn't exactly have much time to look around.

"And heeere's the dining room! You're just in time for lunch! Or, in Fleetfoot's case, a midnight snack!" Leaving no further information, the Pegasus darted off down on of the hallways, humming.

It wasn't long before the Wonderbolts started wandering in, each being served by a rather stressed-looking colt with a crescent moon on his flank. In one swift motion, he dropped a set of hay fries down in front of a pale blue colt, spun around to toss a juice box to Spitfire, and grabbed Rainbow Dash by the ear and pulled her into the kitchen.

"Hey! What's with all you ponies and physical violence?"

"Sorry." He frowned, letting go and offering a hoof-shake. "It takes a lot to get through their skulls sometimes, and it's become a force of habit. Name's Crescent Moon, no, I'm not related to Princess Luna, and no, I'm not sure what my talent is. You are?"

"Uh, Rainbow Dash." She shook his hoof, smiling. "Related to my dad, Spectrum Dash, and my special talent is winning."

He snorted, flicking his mane. "Hmph. Have enough of you racehorses in here already. Anyway, rookie, you should've been in here in the first place! There's a reason we needed rookies!"

"Sorry! Some pony just shoved me into the dining room without telling me anything-"

"Surprise." He snorted.

"-and there wasn't even a job description on the application!"

"There wasn't?" Crescent frowned.

"All it said was 'how much do you like pie? Very much, a whole lot, or infinitely?'" Rainbow frowned. "I didn't get it, but it was officially marked."

Crescent Moon was fuming. "Soarin got into my office again! When I get my hooves on that colt I'll punch him so hard he won't even be able to-"

"Uh, Crescent?" A white colt pushed open the door to the kitchen, glancing anxiously behind him. "Spitfire and Soarin are throwing food at each other again."

"I swear, these ponies drive me to drink!" Crescent pushed past the other colt, shoving him into the kitchen, and his angry yells could be faintly heard through the thick cloud of the door.

"Uh, hi." The white colt rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I take it you're Rainbow Dash? I'm Brolly, Crescent's assistant. And his," he flinched as a sound close to that of a table being tipped over echoed through the wall, "anger management coach."

"Great job." Rainbow deadpanned. "Who are all of these ponies anyway? The only ones I've ever heard of are Soarin and Spitfire."

Brolly took a deep breath. "Well, Soarin and Spitfire have been married for a few years now - not public knowledge, don't share it - and they have three foals here; Rapidfire, Blaze and Fire Streak. Blaze looks just like her mother, but without the lighter mane color. Fire Streak is a peachy-colored colt with an orange and slightly darker peach mane. Rapidfire has a pale yellow coat like her mother, but her mane is her father's color, so she doesn't like to perform much. All three of them have a tendency to set things on fire when they get excited, and we're not sure why. They carry flame well, though; stick a match on their tails and the hairs won't char at all. Soarin, on the other hoof, will do anything for pie, and Spitfire has been known to flirt with anypony of age.

"The other main relationship here is between Lightning Streak and Misty Fly. Lightning's a pale blue stallion with a yellow and orange mane, and Misty's a pale yellow mare with a sky-blue and pale blue mane, who can breathe mist no matter what temperature it is. They had a filly a while back, named Lightning Dust or something, but she was rejected from the Academy because she was being bullheaded. Mind you, the Lightning here isn't much different.

"The two guards, Manerick and Whiplash, are brothers, and work better alone than as a team. You might have noticed they're pretty good at what they do, which is protect the Wonderbolts. There aren't any other siblings here, at least that we know of.

"We do have our romance, though. You met Crescent Moon already, but he's doting on High Winds. He doesn't know this, but High Winds is doting on Wave Chill herself, and I think I'm the only one that notices, but Wave Chill acts very different around Crescent. Oh, I guess I should tell you some more about the two Wonderbolts there, as I'm sure you'll get to know Crescent yourself. High Winds is a white mare with an insanely crazy curly navy and blue mane, and she's a crazy adrenaline addict; she flies anytime, anywhere, no matter what kind of natural disaster is going on. Wave Chill is a colt with a slightly darker coat than Soarin's, and a solid dark blue mane. He has no truer love than the one he does for water. If you can't find him, check the showers.

"Then there's the rest of them, all just as strange. Surprise is the one who probably brought you in. She's the white mare with a yellow mane, and she greets everybody no matter how many times she's met them before. She's also the fastest upside-down-backwards flier we have, and she's Pinkie Pie's cousin. Then there's Silver Lining, the gray colt with the pale gray and white mane. He's horribly claustrophobic, and sleeps, eats and lives outside. The strangest of the bunch is Fleetfoot, the blue mare with the white mane. She kind of looks like you, actually, minus the rainbow. Anyway, she was abandoned as a foal, and was... well, raised by a bat-pony couple. Don't look at me like that, she was! She's also the fourth member of the 'official' Wonderbolts, with Soarin, Spitfire and Surprise.

"I think that's all of them." Brolly finished, tapping a hoof on his chin.

"Spitfire and Soarin are married?" Rainbow asked incredulously.

Brolly nodded before continuing. "So, prepare yourself for lunch. It gets crazy in there." He flinched as a plate phased through the clouds of the door, continued through the room, and vanished through the other wall.

"I think you better go help." Rainbow advised, pointing a timid hoof at the door.

"Yep." He sighed, ducking as he shoved the door open. Rainbow darted after him.

They realized, as the door swung shut behind them, that they had entered a war zone. Tables and chairs were tipped up against opposite walls, and assorted food items flew back and forth as various Pegasi popped up from behind their barricades.

A white blur shot out of one of the barricades, condensing into a mare holding two extremely large cream pies. "Eat frosting, enemies!"

Brolly shoved Rainbow behind one of the abandoned chairs as the first pie exploded across the wall, accompanied by a mournful cry from one of the colts. "That was Surprise, I think. And Soarin's the one crying, I think he was saving that."

The second pie smacked a golden-coated mare in the face, white cream dripping down her neck. "SurPRISE!"

"And that was Spitfire." Brolly whimpered. "Take cover."

"Oopsie?" The white mare whimpered.

"I'll save you, Surprise!" Soarin threw aside one of the tables, charging towards Spitfire. They collided, falling back to the ground.

Spitfire flapped her wings, growling. "This is an abuse of power! Crescent, tell him he's cheating!"

The caretaker poked his head around the small table he had pulled aside. "You married him, you tell him!"

"It's not cheating, is it?" Soarin sat up, looking around at the other Wonderbolts. "Are there rules for this?"

"Awkward and slightly sexual attacks aren't in the rulebook!" Surprise called out.

"Neither is sabotage!" Spitfire yelled back. "But we all agreed not to do that!"

A set of three pale-coated heads popped out from Spitfire's barricade. "Mo-om, you always end the fight when you and dad do that."

"Shush, Blaze. Now you can eat your lunches."

"But mo-oooommmmm..."

Spitfire silenced the three with a stern glare, and they obediently put the table back in place and sat down. The other Pegasi slowly followed suit, until Crescent looked around the room with a sigh.

"Brolly, could you help me get another round of daisy sandwiches and a platter of the cherries from the garden?" Crescent spun, trotting down another hallway to - presumably - get someone to clean up the mess.

Rainbow Dash turned to ask Brolly what she was supposed to do, but he had already vanished. She looked around the room awkwardly, not seeing any spaces.

Spitfire shoved Soarin off of the edge of a bench - "You can eat on the floor, heaven knows you've done it before." - and waved her over.

"Uh, am I really allowed to sit here?"

Spitfire grinned. "Why shouldn't you be? You've got the longest stay record of a rookie so far!"

"Most of them run away during the food fight." Fire Streak admitted. "So, congratulations! Surprise, time-check!"

"Sixteen minutes and forty-eight seconds!" She called back.

"There you have it." Rapidfire finished. "You're beating the record with every second."

"Do you always do that?" Rainbow asked, waving a hoof towards the three siblings. "Talk for each other?"

They glanced at each other, before nodding in unison. Spitfire ground a hoof into her forehead.

A pale blue mare trotted in, a fuzzy nightgown tied around her belly. She shook her head, white mane poofing up as the hood of the gown fell off. "Hey guys." She blinked, eyes only half-focused. "My alarm clock didn't go off. I woke up to Crescent banging his head on my wall. Did I miss anything?"

Day 1: The Rookie Test

Hey, Rainbow Dash!

I was waiting and waiting and waiting for you to send me a letter, and then Twilight came up with the great idea to send you one first! So hi! I've missed you lots and lots, and even after all the Alicorn-Cutie-Mark stuff, Rarity still can't make good weather! Twilight had to tell her that clouds weren't supposed to be swirly! How silly is that! Well, I'll be waiting to hear from you, but I'll be chasing down Derpy if you don't get back to me fast enough! Not like it's hard, she's pretty easily distracted by Sugarcube Corner's morning muffins!

Sincerelerely,
Pinkie Pie

"For Celestia's sake, you dumb galoots, it's training time!"

Rainbow winced as Crescent kicked a cloud towards the milling Wonderbolts. Brolly met it mid-flight, kicking it to nothing.

"Sir, you have to take deep breaths and control your anger! Breathe in, breathe-"

"I am calm!" Crescent yelled back. "Now get out of the way!"

Rainbow pulled Brolly out of the way as another cloud missile shot past, hitting Silver Lining's gray head. "Oy!"

"Could you move a little to the left, Silver? My throw's a little off today! I was aiming for the blockheaded blue one!" Crescent kicked another cloud, this one hitting it's target squarely in the rump.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Soarin sighed, flying over. "What's the drill for today?"

"Nothing too difficult." Crescent brightened. "Take off here, get up to 50 flaps per minute on that little circuit there, and then you go up through those hoops, back down, barrel roll around that thundercloud, go around the guardpost, take your own flag from that flagpole, loop up to hook your flag on that spear - don't worry, you can tear the fabric - and then fly back here where Rainbow will give you your total time and Brolly will tell you your flight quality. Got it?"

Soarin nodded, the shake of his head sliding his goggles into place. "Any time?"

"Any time." Crescent nodded.

Rainbow barely had time to turn on her timer before Soarin launched off of the cloud, taking off in a beeline towards the small ring of track she'd created. It seemed to take him no time before he got up to speed, arcing up to dart through the cloud tunnel. He spun perfectly at the top, spiraling for show on the way back down, and whipped past the other Wonderbolts. He lined up the thundercloud, clipped a wingtip on one side of it, and fell out of pattern to recover.

"Stop the timer." Crescent growled to Dash. "Soarin, you lout! I told you last time, keep your wings tucked! Does nothing get through that thick skull of yours?"

As Crescent flew off to confront Soarin, Rainbow watched one of the other Wonderbolts take his place at the start. Brolly landed beside her, smiling.

"Fire Streak, do you remember the track from Crescent's explaination?"

"Yup!" The Wonderbolt grinned, flaring his wings.

He took off like a shot, trailing flames through the sky. Brolly cast a nervous glance over at Crescent, who seemed to be demonstrating exactly how to render a pony useless, courtesy of Soarin.

"I don't know why they haven't fired him yet." Brolly sighed, watching as Soarin collapsed under a short wing tweak from his trainer. "He puts them through more abuse than the worst courses do."

Rainbow called out Fire Streak's time as he fluttered in for a landing, a thin strip of the flag still in his teeth. "He keeps them in line."

After a few more Wonderbolts Rainbow didn't have time to identify, Soarin was up again. Sure enough, he tucked his wings in, but his grin when he purposefully hovered to delicately lay his flag over the others earned him a particularly loud chase around the rest of the course.

Rainbow set down her sheet on the cafeteria tables and pulled out on of her feathers. Dipping the makeshift quill into the small inkwell Twilight had lent her, she got ready to write.

"Dear Pinkie..."

"You don't have to write with your own feathers, you know!"

"Huh?" Rainbow dropped her quill, leaving a fat smudge across her words. Only pausing to frown at it for a moment, she looked around the room for the other ponies. Save for Soarin lying on a distant table, reading what appeared to be a picture book of pies, the room was empty.

"Up here, silly!"

Rainbow jerked her head up, seeing a pale blue mare with a stark white mane looking back at her. "Huh?"

"I'm Fleetfoot!" She smiled, opening her wings and gliding down to join Rainbow at the other side of the table. "Hah, look at us, our manes are like opposites!"

"Hi, Fleetfoot. I'm Rainbow Dash. Uh... why were you on the ceiling?"

The other mare sat down and shuffled Rainbow's papers so her ruined one was on the bottom. "I was sleeping. Well, I've been awake for a while, but I was fine with just lying around, y'know?"

"Why were you on the ceiling?" Rainbow repeated.

"I told you, I was sleeping!" Fleetfoot leaned over the table, tapping Rainbow's head. "Equestria to Rainbow Dash, come in Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow swatted her hoof away. "On the ceiling?"

"Yeah." Fleetfoot's smile dropped, and she tilted her head curiously. "It's what my kind do."

"Your kind?" Rainbow had the distinct feeling she was talking in circles.

"Batponies!" Fleetfoot grinned, spreading her very-much-feathered wings.

"You don't look like a batpony." Rainbow pointed out.

"I'm a batpony," Fleetfoot continued with a mutter, "on the inside." She leaned over the table again, baring her teeth in front of Rainbow's nose. "See my fangs?"

"Yes?" Rainbow replied tentatively, leaning away from the strange pony.

Fleetfoot immediately sat back down, nodding. "My mom and dad found me on the side of a road, and they took me in. They said I was a big, scary batpony under all this fluff." She flapped her wings, demonstrating. "And I was! I am!"

Rainbow nodded, going back to her writing. "Uh-huh. Yeah."

She jumped as Fleetfoot's hooves slammed into the table on either side of her pages. She looked up into the other mare's amber eyes.

"You don't believe me."

"Because you're a Pegasus! Pegasi can't be batponies!"

"Bet you won't say that on family night." Her voice dropped to a growl on the last words.

Rainbow couldn't withhold a giggle. "Family night?! What's that, when we all get together and sing nursery rhymes?"

"Family night," a third pony interrupted from beside them, "is when we get to see just how much of our insanity comes from our relatives and how much is self-generated. Fleetfoot, please sit down."

The Pegasus planted her hindquarters back on the bench, allowing Rainbow to turn her head and see the third pony, Fire Streak. She cowered as he stepped closer, looming over them both.

"Rainbow Dash, I expected a bit more acceptance from an Element of Harmony, and a bit more respect from an unpaid rookie." He frowned, turning to the 'batpony'. "Fleetfoot, I expected more self-control from a Wonderbolt, and a cooler disposition from a batpony. Now, both of you, go to the kitchen and help poor Brolly with today's lunch."

The two hesitated, staring up at him.

"Come on, I said go! Git!" He waved a hoof, and the two shot away into the back room, leaving Fire Streak alone with the unconscious Soarin.

He sat down in Rainbow's place, gently picking up the feathers she'd dropped and replaced them in the small inkwell. He pulled out one of his own feathers, cautiously starting his own letter.

Dear Pinkie Pie and friends,

There is an event coming up at the Academy that I would like to invite you all to. It will be some point in the next week, and I will send you a second letter when the date is confirmed.

Until then, be assured that Rainbow Dash is having a good time here, and the only thing keeping her from sending a letter is that rookie jobs are quite time-consuming.

I hope to see you soon,
Fire Streak

He rolled up the paper, wiping off his quill before poking it through the pages to hold it together. Taking the small scroll gently in his mouth, he left the dining room.

"Ah, rookie!"

Rainbow flinched as she turned, seeing Crescent trotting up the hallway to meet her.

"I see you've met our resident batpony." He commented.

"More like she met me." Rainbow drawled.

He sighed. "She's a bit of a handful, I know. You'll get used to her antics eventually. From what I saw at the Grand Galloping Gala, she seems rather like your friend Pinkie."

"Like the world needs more Pinkies." Rainbow hissed, sitting down.

"You reacted rather harshly to her, you know." Crescent frowned, crouching down to look up into her eyes. "You alright, kiddo?"

"Just a bit..."

"Homesick?" He prompted.

She sighed. "Yeah."

Crescent nodded, sitting down beside her and resting a wing across her back. "The new Academy session is starting soon, and we've sent out more than enough application forms to Ponyville and the surrounding areas to try and get some of your friends here. And Rainbow, we're all here for you. We may be a strange group, but our hearts are in the right places."

"Even the blockheaded blue one?" Rainbow whispered.

"Even the blockheaded blue one." Crescent confirmed, squeezing her closer. "And the blockheaded cerulean one, too."

Rainbow smiled, hugging him back. "Thanks, Moony."

"You're welcome, Rain..." His expression faltered into a frown. "Moony? Moony?!"

Rainbow ducked out from under his wing, tearing down the hallway. "Moony!"

"Get back here, you little twerp!" Crescent laughed, flying after her.

Silver Lining rolled over on his cloud, watching as a rainbow-maned Pegasus launched from one of the upper windows. He knew the pony chasing her was Crescent, and his yelling could be heard even from Silver's distant perch.

His ears lifted as the mare out-maneuvered Crescent around a series of clouds, gaining herself a few more seconds as he struggled to climb free. Silver watched with renewed interest as she executed a series of moves he hadn't seen before, ending with a short drop and a cloud around Crescent's neck.

The last rays of sunlight faded, and the gray Pegasus curled tighter on his cloud, watching as the rainbow-maned mare received what was no doubt a long-winded rant on respect and dignity while she doubled over laughing.

He smiled, making a note to ask Crescent about her tomorrow. From what he'd seen, not even Soarin had been able to escape the wrath of the coach, and this mare had done it with no visible effort.

Interesting.

He rolled over just in time to see a third Pegasus, Fire Streak from what he could see, take wing from the opposite side of the Academy, gliding down to the guard's post. He seemed to give one of the two guards a letter before turning back, not seeing Silver's coat against the cloud fluff.

This pony seems to be changing quite a few things. Silver mused, rolling up to a more comfortable position. Very interesting.