Rainbow Dash and the Quest for the Diamond Unicorn

by Redthir Jerdisheim

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Random, Adventure
Length: 3961

Rainbow Dash is determined to win a very special somepony all for herself.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity are headed together on a holiday in the jungles of Coltombia; Rainbow Dash for adventure, and Rarity for the many beautiful artifacts. Yet, Rainbow Dash has an ulterior motive, to win over the truly loving and sensual Diamond Unicorn.

Published 2013-03-09 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-10 00:40:47 UTC

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash awoke from her favourite napping cloud, energised and ready for the next sector of the day. "Work was done, and man was it a boring shift! More yelling from Monday..." She silently thought.

"Oh wait, you don't know who Monday is, do you? He's the lamest, most time-wasting, rule-bound and sleep-inducing stallion you'll ever meet. Presumably his parents had very good foresight, or something. He was impressively well-named." Fortunately, Rainbow Dash, being such a "superstar," had usually been able to get around Monday's rules and regulations, simply by reminding Monday how "awesome" she was. It wasn't entirely a lie, either. The weather patrol were lucky to have somepony who could "clear the sky in ten seconds flat." Monday was prepared to tolerate a bit of lip if it meant getting the job done.

Rainbow Dash threw herself onto her hooves. Shooting a piercing glaze into the horizon, she studied the sky's wind levels. Making a very rushed estimation, she leapt into the air and opened her wings with the gusto of a filly on their birthday. It was time to be free once more, as she felt the cooling breeze upon her sweating body; the combination intensifying as she increased her speed; travelling faster, faster and faster still. To the onlooker, it was impossible to pick up her presence in the skies; the only evidence she left was straying wind and a rainbow trail.

Her mane swayed in the winds. Her eyes protruded out of their sockets, lurching forward beyond their reach with a radiant glare of focus. She felt her rear hooves instinctively kick back to create power, this power raising an already grand velocity to burning heights. "It's time for a little trick," She thought. She was ready to satisfy her daily adrenaline surge; as she swung herself one-hundred and eighty degrees, throwing herself into three consecutive loop-the-loops, with enough force to create several vibrating bursts of wind.

Of course, though, life wasn't perfect for Rainbow Dash. She'd been forced to attend a "preparations" meeting with Rarity for their holiday together.

And little did Rarity know just what Rainbow Dash had on her mind. "Although, knowing Rarity, she's probably somehow picked up on it anyway." Rainbow Dash thought to herself. Rarity's social skills were immense; finer than what any ordinary pony could hope to match. Rarity was anything but ordinary. If she was ordinary, Rainbow Dash would've thought nothing of her. But she was beautiful... truly sensual, bathing in decadent passion, with the charms of a temptress, yet the elegance of a lady. Rainbow was certainly no amateur as far as sex was concerned, but not one pony, stallion or mare, had given her satisfaction. Rarity carried a unique spark; one of raw and untamed love. The predatory Pegasus had sprouted the perfect opportunity to claim Rarity as her own: they were headed on holiday to the jungles of Coltombia; Rainbow Dash had convinced Rarity to join this mad adventure - Coltombia was, after all, rich in gold.

Truth be told, being called for a preparations meeting wasn't that Rainbow Dash wanted. She wasn't even sure what one was, and it certainly didn't sound very interesting. Rainbow could think of plenty of better things to use that time for: like another flying session, a nap or pranking Twilight Sparkle.

Regardless, she angled herself fifty degrees downwards, waiting for gravity to play its effects and generate more speed. She might as well take the opportunity to do something worthwhile. As sensual as passionate as Rarity was, when she was "in the zone," she had the ability to grate your sanity faster than a cheese grater.

Rainbow Dash raced downwards upon Ponyville, chased by the cooling winds above. She watched what looked like a model slowly largen as she drew nearer; her right eye searching for watchers (she usually had more than a few.) Frames of time moved; in each one, the town slightly, but noticeably enlarged itself.

Soon, Rainbow had neared the ground and began to slow down, at the latest moment possible. Fortunately, her front legs were trained to deal with late landings; and as she closed them together, she felt herself slowing down, the extensive training clearly paying off.

Finally touching the ground, she was greeted by her number one fan, Scootaloo. "Awesome as ever, Rainbow Dash!" The filly squeed.

"It's what I do, Scoots!" Rainbow Dash said, in her typically over-bravadous manner.

"Are you headed anywhere?" Scootaloo asked, trying to sound confident, but she stuttered far too often; worried she'd said the wrong thing.

"Afraid so. But hey, I'll be flying tomorrow. See me then!" Rainbow Dash let out her front hoof, to which Scootaloo hoofbumped her.

"Catch you later!" Scootaloo replied cheerfully, having been reminded that Rainbow Dash had nothing but appreciation for her idol.

*

A flamboyant figure walked into the Carousel Boutique, bringing a decidedly wild touch to the Boutique's regal feel.

''Hey, Rarity!" Rainbow Dash called out boisterously.

"Greetings, Rainbow Dash." Rarity said in her typically formal manner, seemingly upbeat until she noticed Rainbow Dash's less than perfect condition. "Rainbow Dash, do not come into my Boutique with wet hooves!" Rarity gave a stare that would've made Fluttershy proud. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash wasn't frightened by it. She dried her hooves anyway, simply out of respect. Rarity was a unicorn of class and sophistication, and it showed in her appearance. She was very well groomed, with her purple mane combed into a series of very thin wavy curls (and somehow, so was her tail, although one could never be sure as to how she’d pulled that off). She was white in her colour, a true “rarity” among ponies, but nonetheless widely regarded as one of the most beautiful colours there was. This white allowed her Cutie Mark, a trio of shining diamonds to radiate with power. But these three diamonds were not the most beautiful of the five gems the unicorn bore. The most beautiful gems she bore, at least in Rainbow Dash’s mind were the two sapphires she had for eyes. “Such a deep blue shade...” Rainbow Dash thought to herself. “Filled with power, and primal energy.” Rainbow Dash’s thoughts were ceased by the annoyed-sounding unicorn.

“Rainbow Dash, dry your hooves and stop showing me your flank!” Rarity’s voice now sounded as though she were telling off a badly behaved schoolkid.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help laughing at Rarity’s response. The unicorn never quite seemed to be aware of the fact that ponies in Ponyville didn’t normally wear clothes. Ironically, this meant that despite her typically being the first among her friends to primly stick her nose up at a crude joke, she was often unintentionally the crudest among them, simply because she was the only one to ever pick up on crudeness. Rainbow Dash dried her hooves on Rarity’s welcome mat, which, being a richly coloured scarlet seemed to be unusually posh for a welcome mat – but then again, this was Rarity after all.

“My welcome mat really needs changing. After all the wet and muddy hooves I have been made to deal with, it has become discoloured from dirt. Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the WORST POSSIBLE THING!” Rarity’s voice turned from a rant, to full scale whining.

Rainbow Dash, much like anypony else, did not want to hear Rarity’s whining. It was very grating on the ears and brain. “So, you wanted me for some “preparations” meeting.” The Pegasus said in a somewhat rebellious sounding voice, much like that of a teenager attempting to sarcastically talk down to a figure of authority.

“Why, I did indeed. After all, we cannot possibly travel without equipment. I know that I need my extensive beauty supplies. I need protective equipment, like boots to stop my hooves getting dirty. We will need a shelter, someplace to stay the night. And what have you booked in regards to travel? Have you factored delays into the matter?” Rarity asked, sounding deadly serious and formal in everything she said.

“Travel? There’s a last minute flight that can get you there exactly as and when.” Rainbow Dash replied, sounding somewhat mischievous. Rarity raised her eyelashes in alarm, having quickly realized what the Pegasus was up to.

Rarity raised her voice in a sudden mixture of shock and fury. “In the name of Cloudsdale, you know how much I detest sport! The prospect of me tugging onto your hoof for dear life is not exhilarating one bit as it is downright scary. (At this point she raised her voice further still) Least of all with a pony like you, who holds no regards for precautionary safety measures!” Rarity’s voice was now one of flat-out anger.

Author's Note

The teen/mature rating is a little ambiguous - I doubt this will go beyond teen, but I'm not sure just where to place it at this stage.

Chapter 2

Rainbow Dash sulked upon this realization, knowing that Rarity was right. "Hey Rares, I'll be back in a few mins with two Friendship Express tickets." Rainbow Dash said, unusually calmly, although any trace of softness that she may have displayed evaporated when she quite literally flew out of the Boutique.

"I believe she will be back in several minutes and that she will be absolutely dripping with sweat. Sweet Celestia, no, NOT ON MY WELCOME MAT, IT CANNOT SURVIVE ANOTHER IMPERFECTION! If you are listening to me, then tell me, Celestia, just what terrors have I gotten myself into?" Rarity thought to herself. "Thankfully with Rainbow Dash gone, I can be a lady once more." She levitated a pocket mirror towards her and sorted out the barbarities that consisted primarily of incomplete curls that angled downwards rather than up. The last thing that she wanted was to become the second Rainbow Dash; which she had somehow convinced herself to be a serious threat.

While Rarity was panic-stricken over her scandalous imperfections, Rainbow Dash raced her way to the ticket boothes of Ponyville train station, taking the route that to her was the racing line (and hoping the Wonderbolts didn't see when she ran wide off of Turn 8). The time she had set was approximately 1:38:65, hopefully enough for pole position. She turned out to be in luck, as one of the boothes was free. Inside of the booth was an aging stallion whose body was grey and his eyes a dim green, the latter bemoaning a desperation for sleep. He began speaking in a semi-robotic voice that Sweetie Belle pulled off far better. “May I help you?” (Not that he wanted to be polite. He felt like bucking most of his customers in the face.) If Rainbow Dash didn’t have what she believed to be an important duty to fulfil, she would’ve sarcastically responded “No. You can’t help me with anything,” but resisted the urge and instead said, “Yes. I’m here because I need two tickets to Coltombia this Friday.” Her voice sounded blunt but not threatening, or at least if you knew her it didn’t. For a stranger, one couldn’t quite be sure, thus creating a “don’t mess with me” tone that was exactly the feeling of which Rainbow Dash wanted to assert over this stallion.

"Coltombia? Friday? Morning or afternoon?" He asked, constantly rising in his intonation, presumably in a desperate attempt to stop his voice from drifting to depression.

Somehow, Rainbow Dash didn't think that Rarity would enjoy a morning train. After all, it usually took her about two hours to get ready in the morning and she hated being rushed. Rainbow Dash semi-bellowed "Afternoon!" which gave her a slight giggle as the stallion-who-tried-so-hard-to-be-a-robot staggered back slightly.

"Alright. Information coming your way shortly." He then turned around at a changeless speed, as though he had been pre-programmed to make a perfect half-turn. After looking at some sheet that Dash couldn't see, he turned back around in another perfect half-turn. "Alright. There's a 13:37 and a 15:37. Which will it be?"

"13:37."

"Two tickets coming your way. Please hold." If she wasn't doing this because of Rarity, she would have been far more annoying and found every possible way to make him come out of character. She was also not likely to care if that meant delaying those behind her - it was their fault for being too slow. Eventually though, the stallion came back round to Rainbow Dash with two tickets. "Thanks!" Rainbow Dash called out, dashing away and into an immediately frenzied flight, at least until she collided with something soft and pink, sending them both to the ground until the pink cushion disappeared and her rump hit the floor.

"HEY DASHIE!" It was a loud and cheerful voice, which Rainbow Dash recognized in 0.001 seconds flat (Dash had made sure to note this new record). It was her good friend Pinkie Pie, who despite having been knocked over and her captor landing on top of her was back up again. Rainbow Dash didn't dare to ask why because asking Pinkie Pie a question usually led to more questions rather than any answers. Not even Twilight Sparkle had managed to comprehend a word that Pinkie Pie had said when she spent four consecutive hours talking non-stop about something called a “brony,” which at least according to Pinkie Pie was the correct answer to Fluttershy’s question of “is anyone watching us?”

"'Sup, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash called to the pink pony above her.

"Don't be silly, Dashie, I'm up! Although how did I get up from you? You're supposed to be the toughest pegasus in Ponyville!"

"Don't ask for it, Pinkie Pie. Grrr!" an angry Rainbow Dash thought to herself. Having her reputation as the toughest pegasus in Ponyville questioned - by a pink earth pony no less - was far too humiliating to bear. As such, she quickly changed the topic, foolishly asking the one question that she really wished to know the answer to: "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Nothing. I could tell you what I was doing to get here, but I believe that your question is more answerless than what lies in a room that nopony can see inside! I've never come across one of those rooms, but I'm sure they exist! Hey! Hey Dashie! Wanna try and help me find one of these rooms?" Despite Rainbow Dash consistently getting talked to death by Pinkie Pie, her constant topic shifts played a large part in the reason why they were such close friends. Pinkie Pie would not waste a second of her life; she was always doing something but never planned her actions in advance. Seeing that Rainbow Dash was quickly tired out by structure, Pinkie Pie consistently gave her a break from it all.

"What were you doing to get here?" "Stop being silly, Dash, you're not meant to ask Pinkie Pie questions. Although, she does make you want to ask a lot of those." Rainbow Dash guessed that Pinkie Pie had been looking for her, on the sole basis that Pinkie Pie had an uncanny ability to know exactly where one was at any one time. There was no escaping the PINK PONY OF SUGAR!

"I followed your rainbow trail from the sky! Your trail led to hoof prints and your hoof prints led to the Carousel Boutique and then you left-" Rainbow Dash instinctively blocked Pinkie Pie’s mouth with her hoof, fearing a sudden explosion of her information signals. Pinkie Pie's words made no sense, since as Rainbow Dash slowed down to land, her rainbow trail would not have been there to follow. It would have been impossible to locate one’s hoof steps from the rainbow trail. Although then again, she was Pinkie Pie, so perhaps such a feat was not that much of a stretch.

Rainbow Dash had suffered enough humiliations for one day. Being forced to comply to Rarity’s demands and having her reputation as the toughest Pegasus in Ponyville (not Equestria!) under question were quite enough as it was. Now it was time for Rainbow Dash to remind Pinkie Pie just how awesome she was. Everypony knew that she hated losing and the idea of having to play second fiddle to anypony else. “Not that difficult, huh, Pinkie? I leave my mark everywhere I go!" She proudly gestured a hoof to her chest.

“Mark the Webber was my spider for a short while! But a short while isn’t long! Long is reserved for long things, which are usually long!” said the pink, pony-shaped sugarball that had somehow learned to talk. Regardless, she brought a smile to Rainbow’s face. It was impossible not to adore her extremely over the top antics.

“I’m guessing you came here for a reason. Make this quick!” Rainbow Dash was far blunter than she’d hoped to be but at least she got her point across.

“I’m hosting a party tonight! It’s at the southern bridleway clearing!” Pinkie Pie shouted, bouncing all around Rainbow Dash and eventually falling upside-down.

This was certainly not one of Pinkie Pie’s foal-friendly parties that she was known for. Most nights, she would choose the most random of locations and would host a total frenzy. While their other friends were not swayed by the idea, Rainbow Dash's wild nature provoked her into being a frequent guest. Each time, Pinkie Pie made new potions with inconsistently dangerous side effects (and that the resident herbalist Zecora certainly did not approve of). Above all else, Rainbow Dash was naturally competitive: meaning that she was very easily provoked into competition. If Pinkie Pie had made a new potion, there was no way that Dash would chicken out of trying it. Furthermore, being the wild mare she was, she needed new experiences very often. As great as Pinkie Pie's parties were, they would eventually became boring and predictable. Above all else, Pinkie Pie's potions always nulled one's senses. If Rainbow Dash were to succeed in her plans to win Rarity, she wanted her five senses to be at full throttle, savouring every moment. "There's no way I can attend. Don't be offended, Pinkie." Pinkie Pie gave a withdrawn-looking face with bulging cheeks, as though she had figured out what Rainbow Dash's thoughts were before even the quick-thinking (or quick-anything, for that matter) Rainbow Dash could.

Just as Rainbow Dash was about to say "no," she recepted Pinkie Pie's withdrawn state and changed her response to "Don't take it to heart, Pinkie. You've no part in my reasons. Hey, will you be around in Sugarcube Corner this afternoon?" Pinkie Pie's cheeks retreated, revealing a once more very happy and bouncy earth pony.

As Pinkie Pie spoke, Rainbow Dash began to smile once more. "Don't be silly, Dashie, I'm always in Sugarcube Corner! Although, come to think about it, what about when I'm not in Sugarcube Corner? How can I be in Sugarcube Corner then?"

"Awesome! See you later, alligator!" Rainbow Dash gave a cocky grin and raced back along the race track that led to the Carousel Boutique. "Sooner or later, Ponyville'll need a race circuit. There's Rainbow Dash, inspirer for future generations of racing among Ponyvillians!" After significantly less than two minutes (but significantly more than one), she was back, gently placing a hoof on the door and contradictively swinging it open as though she had charged into it. Although Rarity had closed the Carousel Boutique that day, based on the fact that nopony ever stole, there was no need to lock the door.

"Hey, Rares! Missed me?" Rainbow Dash called out playfully.

"I have. Although my welcome mat just might be saying otherwise." Rarity snarked.

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Heh. You race to the finish, you pick up sweat."

Rarity thought about this. "No matter how uncouth Rainbow Dash may be, she is under no circumstances a common ruffian. As an exemplar of dignified behaviour, it is my duty to cease judgment and to stop treating her like an inferior." "I never thought of you as a philosopher, Rainbow Dash. So answer me this, just what is sweat to you?"

She was hardly a philosopher. On no accounts was philosophy her strong point, or even close to it. "Ummm... it's a natural sensation for me. There's nothing more thrilling than the strong winds to cool my sweating body." Rainbow Dash said, her tone softening as she went on, giving off the vibe of a tired mare.

Of course she was tired. She had little understanding of Rarity, who made her feel decidedly uncomfortable. The only way out of that uncomfortable feeling was to close off. "Why did it have to be bucking Rarity? Why couldn't it be somepony I understand, like Applejack or Pinkie Pie? Hay, even Twilight's more sense-making most of the time." She woke up to hear the musical and overly-dramatic voice that many spoke in but only one pony could execute in true grandeur: "Although I am certainly no athlete myself, the athlete to me is a figure of fine splendour. His heart on fire, as it burns with the desire for victory. From realms unknown even to him, he unleashes super-pony strength, with the knowledge that only one pony may win and with the aggression to fight, to be that winner. Truly inspiring feats, of epic awesomeness!" "WHAT?" was the immediate inside reaction of Rainbow Dash, followed shortly by "I have a chance!"

In a bluffed reply (with a desperate hope of not sounding too blunt), Rainbow Dash asked Rarity: "What is fashion to you?" Although she was completely out of her depth in the philosophical world, Rainbow saw no reason why such a question would ever be the wrong one to ask in the given situation. Her voice maintained the softness and uncharacteristic introversion that she had suddenly demonstrated shortly after arriving.

"As much as I like you in this current state, Rainbow Dash, you most definitely are in need of a nap."

"Here is the ticket you requested." Rainbow Dash gave out a loud yawn, proving Rarity to be correct.

"Most appreciated. I have a spare bed; perhaps you could make use of it right now?" Rarity said, looking uncomfortably forward and pushing Rainbow Dash about as though she were Fluttershy. Whilst Rainbow Dash was very peaceful and far more civilised in this state, it nevertheless unsettled Rarity to see her acting so out-of-character.

"Hold on Rares. I'll be back shortly." Rarity did not close the door, instead eagerly awaiting her friend's return. Despite this however, Rarity was glad to have a short period to unravel her thoughtstream in peace. "Good heavens, I am so glad to have given Rainbow Dash a chance. No doubt about it, we are nothing alike. But just like all other ponies, she is full of hidden depths. She is sleepy now and she deserves my full hospitality, so I shall give her nothing but the best."

Rainbow Dash ambled into the Carousel Boutique; the sweat that once dripped from her now gone without a trace. Undoubtedly, she had washed herself upon a cloud. It was far from Rarity's pampering sessions at the Spa but the ruggedness of Rainbow Dash was special in its own way; Rarity realized this to no end.

"This way, Rainbow Dash." Rainbow gave no response.

Author's Note

I realize that Rainbow Dash gets much more spotlight than Rarity in this; the main reason for this is that in my original visions of this shipfic, there would be two versions; one from each character's point of view. Rarity will receive much more limelight in Chapter 3.
Also, rather annoyingly, all of the italics that I had used in word to show a character's thoughts did not come up on this website. I've fixed that problem now.