The Lejendary Lejend of Masterroxxor

by The Madman

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Nightmare Moon, Romance, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 2752

Masterroxxor, teh most evil evil EVER, reacks haovk on Ponyvill! Can the main six defeet him?

Masterroxxor, teh most evil evil EVER, reacks haovk on Ponyvill with teh hlep of Neighmare Moon! Can the main six defeet him?

Published 2012-01-31 05:54:35 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-31 05:54:35 UTC

Chapter 1

The Lejendary Lejend of Masterroxxor

This is a tale of evil, of mandess, of two alicorns, one of whom is even eviler and sexier than Nightmare Moon. His name... is massterroxxor. And he is teh alicorn who will doom Equestria... FOREVER!

Mastrroxxor gazed from his floating meunical castle down at Ponyville. Spicefully, at another, smaller, less imprussive castle.

"rainbow dash..." He muttered, gritting his teeth. "I will haf my revunge!"

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. Birds where singing, pegasi where flying, and a gentle breeze blew threw the air. The air was a bit chilly, but that was to be expected in teh fall. Ponies in scarves and wearing wooly hats trotted by, chatting and laughing.

Suddenly, Cthulu awoke with a hugeious explosion! Ponies scattered as the Old One arose from the bowls of the earth beneath Ponyville, the proticteve spell of the town statue having finally failed after centuries of neglact. All the cutiee marc cursaders died in the blust.
"At last!" the elder god cried. "At last I shall have my revenge upon these pitiful pones!"

But then, Masterroxxor swoopud doawn. Pones stared at this stranj alicorn they had nevr seen befour even tho he lived just above ponyvil in space "who is this colt?" they all wondered.

Masterroxxor smirked. He was a deep black color, with a cute marc of a medul becuz he waz a winner. Cthulu laft. "YOU FOOL I WILL CRUSH U" Then Masterroxxor was like "no" and hit him with a bolt of lightening. Cthulu was defeeted. Masterroxxor gaind 99993920 XP and 4 bits

Rainbow dash trotted up to the savyour of ponyvill. "hey man your cool"

"I HATE U"

rainbow dash lookt at him strangly as he flew into space. Who was this mysterious, familur, yet sexy alikorn that made her strie? "no I like the mares" She Muttered as random fillys canturrd up to her, desperateey wanting a peace of her. Rainbow lookt down. "fluttrshai?" the yellow pegusus was there and lookt at her with hopeful, desprate eyes. "take me, rainbow... um... if your free?" "NO" and rainbow kicked her right in the pathetik little face.

Rainbow dash had always been abusive, and as masterroxxor watched this sceen through his magic telescope back at his space manshun, he nodded sadle. "i new she hadnt changed"

Chapter 2

Celestia cackled as she set more electricity through her sister's body. "Did you really think I had forgotten? Did you realy think I had forgiven? Behold now, the terrible vegenace of..." she trailed off, as though forgetting the end of one of her tireannical tyrades. "EAT LIGHTENING, FOAL!" she screamed as more electricity arked through Luna's deeply abused form.
"But sister... Why?" Luna asked after a long pause. "I repented for my sins as Nightmare Moon. I accepted your friendship!"
"...And friendship is magic. TORTURE MAGIC!" The ruler of Equestria boomed as she continued to warck her sister's body with pain.
"Heyyyyyy! What are you doing, Queenie Meanie?" A chipper voice asked.
Princess Celestia turned to see Pinkie Pie, staring at her with a mean look on her face. "Oh, Pinkie. I do apologize; I had promised you a turn, right? Just make sure to leave some for Fluttershy. I understand the dear has some fascinating ideas for the application of para-sprites eating her alive from the inside out." Teh princess of the moon's expression, even though barely visible under all the chains that shackled her down, was clearly one of horror. "Oh, and remember, she's immortal, but her body does take time to regenerate, so saver it, Pinkie!"

"Okay dokey Lokey!" Pinkie Pie replied, bouncing over to Princess Luna. "So, Black Snooty... do you like cupcakes?"

Luna, her hopes rising, nodded. "Well that's too bad because instead I'm going to be feeding you gems! Have fun passing that trhough your plot!" Several guards fainted at the barbaric mental image, though one pegasus continued standing stiffly at attention, his wings at a 90 degree angle to the rest of his body. Tears streamed down his face as he whispered "This is the greatest day of my life"

Luna, almost choking on a partickularly loud hunk of quartz, moaned, "Oh if only somepony would save me from them like a gallant knight" Pinkie Pie and her tyrant of a sister laughed.

Miles away, Masterroxxor stired. He was need'd.

Masterroxxor crushed threw the walls because hes a badass like that, isntantleey killed the guards around Luna, and untied her. The smallr alicorn sighed. "its you! I thought you had abanduned me after I was defeated."

masterroxxor smiled. "i could nevr quite yew." they snuggled, and suddenly luna became nighmair moon again! Masterroxxor said, "and your power is retrning, I c."

nightmair moon smiled. "no need to hide it. With yeu retruned, we can win." a bed appeared out of nowhar. ...Luna stared deeply into Masterroxxor's eyes as she lay on the bed. "Take me, you magnifcent beast! My body is ready."

The handsome, adonic, intelligent, delicously evil purple alicorn smirked. "You have no idea how long Ive waited for this," he whispered into the moon princess's ear. "Then afterwards, we'll take over Equestria and kill that annoying Rainbow dash in 'ten seconds flat', right?"

"Yesssss!1" Luna moaned, color rising to her cheeks as Masterroxxor gave hur the sexay times. No one found them becuz the guards who did wander by were too struck by the powr of tru luv and just luft becuz nopony liked celestia anyway.

Beside,s, celest was busy herself...

Both slick with perspiration, the purple unicron and the alicorn turned to each other, luv in there eyes. "Oh my faithful studnet... you have learned well." Celestia crooned.

Twilight blushed. "Well, their weere some books on it in a really hidden part of the library."

"Well, glad that prank of Luna's turned out allright."

Twilighight's eyes bulged as she considered the inplicashuns. "But" She Thought "What if it's princess loona that I'm in love with? I cant tell Celestia know!"

"Something... troubling you, mai little ponie?" the ruler of Equestria cruned. Befour Twi could answer, she felt Celestia once more press her muzzle down too her hindquurters. It was hawt. Ponies turned lesban for miles around and whinnies were everywhere as pnes felt themselfs being uffected by celest's thuts.

Masterroxxor turned froma satisfying Princess Luna Moon. "know we must begin." "yes."

Chapter 3

The pair burst into the throne room rite when celest and twilight were beating a pair of adorable kittens to death. "GASP" twiliglight gasped. "who is that"

celest look grim. "masterroxxor I banished u"

"BUT KNOW I AM BACK FOAL"

"Do not worry princess celest!" The purple unicorn cried, placing herself between her beloved mentor and the menacing pair of alicorns. "I know a spell that will fix everything." She stated confidently, her horn glowing with power.

Celestia, afrayd for her student, cried "Be careful Twilight! Masterroxxor is more powerful then Nightmare Moon and Discord combined!"

Twilight Sparkle, her eyes glowing with pure magic, turned back to the radient ruler of the sun. "And before, I only had the power of friendship. Now, I have the power... OF LOVE!" With confidence in her foalish eyes, she strode toward the too alicorns as a bright light began to shine from her chest.

"Oh no! Nightmare Moon cried. "Masterroxxor we are going to be defeated again! Do something!" She blushed as she felt the adonic alicorn embrace her. "We will fight love... with LOVE!" He cried as a bright light shone from them and the two love lasers slammed into each other in the middle of Canterlot palace. It was said ponies for miles around could see the resulting explosion.

On the road to Canterlot, a certain blue unicorn saw the explosion as her breath caught in her throat. "No..." The Grate and Powerful Trixie whispered, sinking to her knees. "Twilight, my sister... my one true love... THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN MY FOSTER PARENTS DIED LEAVING ME ALONE AND HELPLESS ON THE STREETS OF CANTERLOT EVEN THOUGH THEY LOVED ME AS MUCH AS MY REAL PARENTS WHICH WAS NOT AT ALL!" The Great and Powerful Trixie cried until she die from dehydration.

Masterroxxor crackled as he stomped another hoof down onto Twiliighght's broken body. "At, last we've won my love!" He gazed deeply at Nightmare Moon's flowing mane. "It really is a shame through," he sighed. "I've heard unicorns can do all sorts of... intereskting things with telakaneis."
Nighmare Moon chuckled. "Wut makes you think I cant do thuse things?" She cooed, giving her pratnur in crime a sulty look. she shook her head.

In response, he laughed a rich evil laugh which made Neigghtmare Moon melt inside.

"Oh, Masterroxxor... take me, you magnificient beats!" the scurrge of Equestria moaned, throwing herself at the handsome alicorn, as both their wings shot upwardz with a at the same time "POMF".

And then they had sexy timez on celest's throne, which was now theres and everyone was okay with it.

Once they'd turned everyponies straight like they should be again, masterroxxor luked at NMM. "to ponyville"

"revunge?"

"REVUNGE"

"very well masterroxxor u go I will handle the boring government stuff and go be in the kitchun wher I good mare shud be"

"EXCULLANT"

Chapter 4

Celestias Son, the golden lifegivur to all of Equestrea, rose above ponyvil, ushuring in another beautifull day. But the Son was not Celestias not no more. It was Masterroxxorz'.

Masterroxxor khakled as he luked down at rarity. "You foal! With the powers of the totale not unoriginul Elemtns of Nefariosuness that I have totally had all storie, I am unvincible!"

the white Unicorn scoffed. "but I am the Element of being a total bi- IMEANGENEROSITY." She screeched, blushing.

"Ha ha. Yes, I know of your abilities," the alicorn grinned. "However, I also know that you are a fashun desinger. All fashionistas love monie. And powah. And I have BOTH. AND YOU KNOW IT."

rarity, blushing so hard the entire town square was lit with a pink glow, finully gave into the desperate urges speaking into her body. She through herself at the chiseled masterrroxor, screaming, "TAKE ME, YOU MAGNIFICENT BEAST!" She raped her four legs around one mightee trunk of the alicorn's leg and look'd up at him with an expression that spoke of many, many lonely nites, with onlee a perky hoof and her littul sisters horn for company. Clearly, she had a need that burn'd. And masterroxxor wuz just the chili wind to quench that fiyah.

Masterroxxor looked down at her, smiling. "well, if u rally feel that way..." he crooned, using his magic to stroke her.

Rarity only moaned, no longer caring who was watching. Many mares and a few stallions were giving her envius looks. Everypony wanted to feel masterroxxor's "royal sceptor".

Masterroxxor similied again, but this time it bought a chill to Rarite's bones. "Then ull have plenty of time to think about it on the MOON!" Out of nowhar, a huge cannon enveiloped Rarity and shot on at the distant lunar figure.

A memember on the alicorn's Dark Guard trotted up. "My Master, was that wize? She mae plot revenge."

Masterroxxor looked down at the foal and crackeld. "Unliek Celest I sent a unicorn there not an alicorn. Do you know what happens to a normal ponie sent into space without any aer?"

"W-wut, mylord?"

"THE SAME THING THAT HAPPUNS TO EVERYTHING ELSE!" he laughed as his fiendish cackels echoed over the town.

Applejack died later in a sceen that was two boring too writ, but involved a snipr rifl, Smartypants, and somepony named Harmunny.

Masterroxxor crackled as he uhpproachd the small cottage "if I kill dashee's lovr, she will be sad"

then he blew up the cottage with his magjick, causing bits of pony and rabbit to rain down on the surrounding area. "MWAHAHAHA" he cackled like that lahral guy but more awesomer.

Rainbow dash swpt down "hey asshole what the fuck"

"dont swear my old foe is not suitable to a mare. GET IN THE KITCHEN" and then he brainwashed her with his magical.

"yes master" she said in a toneless voice and started flying back to the castle.

"i always wanted a harem" and then he went back to the town squar.

"well masterroxxor u mae have defeeted all my friends, the royal guard, and celestea, but you still have to deal with me!" Ponyvilles premeer party pony pinkie starred at the new king of Eqeustria darkly.

"you foal you cannot hope to defeeat me!"

"i challenge you to... a cooking battle!"

masterroxxer laughed, and summoned an entire kitchen around him, squashing a feu memburs of his Guard of Darkness. "i studied cooking under the gods themselfs!"

"and I studeed cooking under Emeril!"

The Dark King of Equfestria blink'd. "who?"

"EPIC COOKING TIME!" she pink pony scrreched.

A huge crowd gather'd to see the clash of chefs. Some cheerd for they're new king, some cheer'd for the Ponyville native that had brought them all such joy ovr the yeers. All the ponies their new, however: nothing would be the same FOREVER!
Pinkie frantically worked, somehow managing to be in sevural places at onece as she chanted her cupcakes song. "add it to the mix..." all the ponies heads spun to see how fast the Pinkie was working. But most looked at theyre new rooler. Masterroxxor summoned a demonick orkestrah behind him to chant as the alikorn prepared the mightiest dish known to ponies: EGGPLANT LASAGNA!

Both chefs werked with the ferocity and tenacety of eleventie lesser cookers, with each struggling to outdo the other. Exotik inreediants mixed with spices beyond equine, human, or other imaginashun. What transpeyered in those kitchens was not for mortul minds.

Pinkie held her completed Chocolate-Raspberry-Almund-Pepermint-Blueberry-Walnut-Vanella Cupcakes aloftt. "suhprizzzze! They're super-duper-totally-awesome yummyness!" she offered one to masterroxxor, who quickly scrafed it down.

"mmm yes this is quiet good." masterroxxor mulled as he chewed.
"Ooh! Ohh! Ya wanna know the secrete ingrediant? DO ya Do ya Do ya?"
Masterroxxor, amused by the young pony's enthuisasm, nodded.
Pinkie's face twisted into a dark grin as her hair feel flat.

"POIZEN."

With a grasp, masterroxxor collapsed, just barely remaining conseeous to see his guards cut pinkie pie cleanrly in half. he chuckled, "victory... by forfeet." then, the great alicorn new no moar.

Chapter 5

He woke up in princess loona's hooves. "wait not nightmare moon?" he confuzed.

"no I was wrong and you should bring everyone back, masterroxxor. You aren't evul and either am I. Remember when you were called Awesome Pwnface?

Memories flooded back into him. He was a good pony. He was like jesus except he didnt die. He was like ghandi except he could kick ass when he needed to. How had he forgetting?

"sorry luna," he mutturd as he prepared to use his powers as a master of death to bring everypony back to life.

Wif a flash of lite, Masterroxxor summuned the last of the mane six back to Equestria. "Im so glad your all safe. I rally just wish that that fragmnt of Nitemair Moon hadn't made me avil and made me take over Equestria but im glad u all can sea that i'm a good, col pony who's planet needz him and I would like to marry luna please."
"yea sure whatever!" Pouted Celesin a corner.

"Aw, its OK, Rox!" Pip'd up Rainbow Dash, giving the alicorn a playful punch. "I mean, hey, your even coolr than me!"

"Fluttershy." Everyun's attentions turn'd too teh yellow Pegasus who had just been return'd in from the dead. "Im so sorry Im sure it was bad in the underwerld. ….How was being ded?" Masteroxxor asked, suddenle curios about the oun airea his mastory of all things couldun't let him see into even tho he could bring pones back from the ded.

"Oh, it was..." Everypony leened it, intent on hearing Fluttershys answer. "...Nice." Said Fluturshai.

Celestia facehoof'd, while everypony else just laughed.
Later that year, Masteroxxor maried Luna in a beeutiful ceremony attended by everypony in Equestrea. Celestea, presiding over all, predicted they would be together FOREVER! Pinkie Pie had appeared from nowher and added in her two bits. A chuckle later, Masterroxxor and Luna started totally Frenching on the alter and it was hot and Twilight sed "my studies never warn'd me about this" and Scootaloo and the CMC were stil ded and rainbow Dash hid the couple behind a cloud.

And that's how Equestria was mayde!