Egyptian Equine Armament (sonnet)
Cleopatra’s machine gun, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie wanted to go back in time.
She very well had the means to do so.
Pinkie Pie, she knew that it was a crime.
But that mare really wanted to go.
Pinkie Pie planed a convoluted scheme.
One that Twilight Sparkle could not devise.
Pinkie Pie’s Plan required a willing team.
And also the element of surprise.
Pinkie Pie had searched for her volunteers.
Wherever could they be hiding? She thought.
Pinkie Pie even searched the chandeliers.
But she could not find the team that she sought.
Pinkie Pie decided to go alone.
Which goes against everything she has known.
Time twisted and curved around and about.
Pinkie’s plan seems to have worked after all.
When she jumped down into time, she would shout:
Just another day behind the 4th wall!
Her eyes glimmered at the sight of warped time.
It looked quite psychedelic to the mare.
Purple polka dots, red spirals with lime.
These sights have to have been made just to stare!
But Pinkie soon saw her fatal blunder.
Pinkie wasn’t only moved by the clock.
It was time and space’s spell she was under.
And before she knew it, she hit a rock.
There was sand in her hair and in her face.
She was completely alien to this place.
Pinkamena Dianne Pie sure was lost.
She could only see sand dunes for a mile.
She saw huge towers and no sign of Faust.
Yet she read a sign that may have said ‘Nile’.
Suddenly, Pinkie hears words said in Greek.
Pinkie quickly perks her ears up to hear.
Though it isn’t a language she can speak.
She looked up to see a shadow, unclear.
Greek is spoken again by the figure.
Pinkie pie shrugs her small pony shoulder.
The silhouette then gets a bit bigger.
And towards Pinkie pie, it leans over.
It’s a woman, who pokes her on the head.
And she’s trying to repeat what she’s said.
The woman was kind and covered with gold.
She tried to speak to Pinkie Pie again.
With her attempt to restate what was told,
She had better luck speaking to a hen.
She tried to speak to her in Arabic,
Then she had tried again in Egyptian.
Pinkie stared at her like a lunatic.
It gave the young woman a conniption.
The woman lifted Pinkie from the sand,
And she wrapped Pinkie in sheets of satin.
She stroked Pinkie gently with her free hand.
Then she had spoke to Pinkie in Latin.
Pinkie responded, her Latin words tame,
Woman said “Cleopatra is my name.”
Cleopatra took her new pink friend home.
Straight home to the great pyramids afar.
She sat down beside Pinkie on her throne.
And Cleopatra made Pinkie her star.
She would feed Pinkie the sweetest of sweets.
And she would keep Pinkie close by her heart.
She would go back to feeding her sweet treats.
And she would order Pinkie Pie themed art.
Their relationship grew throughout the days.
Cleopatra had trusted Pinkie Pie.
Cleopatra had shown Pinkie her ways.
And now their friendship can not ever die.
Then one day, Cleo ordered 9 men dead.
So Pinkie somehow shot them in the head.
Cleo had never seen such raw power.
Time had made Pinkie a sub-machine gun.
Cleopatra saw her servants cower.
So Cleopatra had a bit of fun.
Pinkie Pie appeared just as a pony.
Yet somehow Pinkie worked like a TEC-9.
And Cleopatra thought this was funny.
So together they a committed crime.
As an example to her populace,
Should they dare tell Cleopatra a lie,
They would be shown something with much malice
Cleopatra’s machine gun, Pinkie Pie.
She lined up the treasonous one by one.
And she gunned them all down, till there were none.
Pinkie cried seeing others meet their fate.
She had killed children and the elderly.
Cleopatra does not discriminate.
Cleopatra tended to kill hourly.
Cleopatra soon saw how Pinkie felt.
It hurt her to know what she put her through.
In Cleopatra, feelings of shame dwelt.
Her self retribution was to ensue.
As an act of sorrow, Cleo had asked:
Doth thou wish to be with me, my Pinkie?
Or is thy true inner emotion masked?
Pinkie Pie, doth thou wish to be set free?
As much as Pinkie wanted to say no,
She understood that it was time to go.
So Cleopatra had set Pinkie free.
Never to see her pink friend anymore.
She’d given one last hug to her Pinkie.
And tried to conceal the frown that she bore.
Pinkie Pie looked at Cleopatra there.
Her melancholy showed; face in her hand.
Her frustration showed; her hands in her hair.
Her extreme regret showed, knees in the sand.
Cleopatra assured that things are right.
The goodbyes lasted all throughout the day,
And they passed way into the summers night.
Finally, Pinkie pie said, “I can’t stay”
So Pinkie Pie jumped through time back on home,
Leaving poor Cleopatra all alone.
RIP 'Rhymes in Ponyville' (Epitaph + Last Words)
Starswirl The Bearded
Here lies the most magical stallion to grace this planet.
Ye, he may summon fierce tides upon land
and be able to withstand it.
He may conjure the darkest of creatures from a black mist.
and a panacea for the aftermath,
for he was an Alchemist.
And a philanthropist.
A wizard amongst wizards,
his name shall be infamous in Hades.
But he was never good with the ladies.
Requiescat in pace.
Last words: "And You said I couldn't create an unbeatable beast!"
Rainbow Dash
This headstone marks the eternal resting place of the living, breathing Rainbow.
She could soar faster than any deity could ever go.
Her speed, unmatched throughout the sky.
Never thought someone like her would ever die.
Forever, our faces will occasionally frown,
For life had finally told Rainbow Dash to slow down.
Rest in Peace.
Last Words: "Hey guys, watch this."
Pinkie Pie
Bear witness to the epilogue of of this great pony's life.
Some say she had partied herself to death.
Know that we are here to put such suspicion to rest.
For Her death, we shall not be sad.
For Pinkie has had all the fun there is to be had.
Our loss leaves our eyes wet, and noses runny,
But you've got to admit, what Pinkie did was pretty funny.
Run Infinite Parties, Pinkie.
Last Words: "See you guys at the After Party!"
Princess Luna
Said the night, she shouldn't be shaken.
Said the night, she wouldn't be woken.
Said the night.
She doesn't suffer fools, Said the night.
She couldn't stand ghouls, Said the night.
Said the night.
And then the night said goodbye.
Who knew that Luna could ever die?
And like the stars in the sky, she will be forever missed
forevermore
as her soul travels through the ether
in search of infinite bliss.
Luna Omina Regit.
Last words: I'm immortal. This isn't funny. I'm not dead.
Tom
He was stone cold
and had a chiseled build.
He was ever so solid
with a stubborn will.
He was so strong
and built like an ox.
But it wasn't very long
till he ended up like the other rocks.
You Rock, Tom.
Last words:____________________
Fluttershy
Fluttershy.
You were a down to Earth pegasus, with earthly things to do.
You were blessed with wings that didn't seem to appease you.
Fluttershy.
There aren't enough tears in the whole world for us to cry.
There isn't any anyone here prepared for you to die.
Fluttershy.
The forests will never be the same without your guidance.
The animals mourn the loss, and dread this circumstance.
Fluttershy.
And here we mourn your death, trying quite hard to keep sane.
And we soon hope to frolic in the forests you've lived to keep tame.
Last Words: These berries look delicious!
Roseluck
You started out little, bud.
we couldn't have imagined anyone to have blossomed so well.
You sprung like leap frogs in the spring to work on your garden before winter.
You garden is the only physical thing we have left of you.
But it isn't the only thing you've left on this earth.
We can only hope that wherever you are now,
you continue to blossom.
Rest in peace. (Your body will make excellent fertilizer.)
Last words: I don't really like Celestia's new laws.
