Cloudy With a Chance Of Larcenyby CoastalSarvChaptersIn which Dash fails to crashIn which Dash eats ensilage puddingIn which Dash connects the dotsIn which Dash fails to crashThis story is based on the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which belongs to Hasbro, not me. Chapter One – In which Dash fails to crash The story began when Rainbow Dash failed to crash-land on the main street of Ponyville early one morning. This did not mean that she landed successfully, just that her crash-landing was wholly pathetic. She came in with a slow, wobbling flight, landed on only three of her legs, stumbled forward, her wings flapping aimlessly, until she fell down with her muzzle in the dusty street and plowed a furrow for a few yards before she came to a complete stop and just lay there with a scrape on her chin and her hind legs in the air. Applejack has just set up her market stall, and while she saw her friend crash, she at first didn't pay it much attention to it. Rainbow Dash crashed regularly as she trained, usually in much more violent fashion than this, no worse for wear. However, when she noticed the azure pegasus didn't rise, she got worried and trotted over. "Dash, ya OK?" Applejack wondered as she pulled her up with her teeth and swished her tail to dust her off. "Ya hurt?" Rainbow Dash blinked and shook her head. "I'm fine. Never been better!" she said with forced cheer. "Would love to chat - or race - but I have to get to work!" Then she started to walk away shakily towards the shops. "Uhm, Dash, aren't yer job in that direction?" said Applejack worried and pointed a hoof towards the sky, where weather ponies usually work. "That's Sugarcube Corner." "Just gonna get some breakfast on way to work" her friend said and yawned as she trotted to the door and entered it just as Mrs Cake opened it. "See ya!" Applejack frowned, shrugged and went back to her stall. Inside the shop Rainbow Dash sauntered up to the counter where Mr Cake was making the last things ready. Behind the counter was a newly installed enormous coffee machine, and the baker looked suspiciously at it. "Hello, Rainbow Dash" he said when he noticed her. "What can I do for you today?" "I want some doughnuts... strawberry... and some coffee." said Rainbow Dash and yawned again. "Strong coffee!" she added. "No problem!" The baker got two fresh doughnuts with strawberry jam and started to put them in a paper bag. "No no, don't bother, I will eat them straightaway!" said the pegasus. Mr Cake shrugged and put them down on the counter in front of her. "Coffee, then... How strong did you want?" he said as he went up to the coffee machine. "Espresso. Black. Double... no, make that double-double. Double-double-boppel-triple-trippel strong!" Rainbow Dash started to munch on a doughnut. "Really strong, I get that." Mr Cake started to fiddle around with the machine. "I am sorry, this will take a little while. I am not really that good at this newfangled contraption yet. Your friend Pinkie Pie is the one who manages it, really, and I suspect she actually has added some things to it - " as he said this he looked very worried " - but she is still sleeping, she partied late and baked hard in the early morning, so... oh, there she blows!" The machine spouted a tar-like substance into a paper cup with a cookie printed on it. "Here's your coffee, young lady. I think it is..." he said as he turned to Rainbow Dash, but the mare, leaning against the counter, had falling asleep. Meanwhile, on the street, Applejack spotted another familiar face as she gave a matronly mare two jars of apple jam. "Hiya, Twi'!" she said as the purple unicorn trotted up to her, her bigger saddlebags on her back together with Spike, who blinked and yawned. "Grocery shopping?" "You read my mind!" said Twilight Sparkle and smiled. "I have decided to start to make my grocery shopping and cooking more efficient. I use up too much of my allowance and too often the larder is empty and I have to send Spike on unnecessary errands." "Sounds sensible to me. Would yer new, efficient shoppin' include any of our fine, healthy, price-worthy apple products?" said Applejack, ever the salesmare. "Well, I'll have to look at the List!" Twilight levitated a scroll from her bags and unrolled it. "I have carefully calculated both the nutritional values and suitable prices of all groceries for the upcoming months - perishables excluded, which will be bought on a tri-day schedule! Ah yes, here it is, two bottles of apple cider, one bag of apple rolls, one bag of dried apples!" "No fresh apples?" said Applejack and started to gather the mentioned wares. "Are ya goin' to stop eatin' fresh apples?" "Oh no, but they count as perishables, you see. They last much better in your cellar than in my larder, so I will buy them every third day instead." "Well then, here's yer other things, then. Twenty-two bits, please." Applejack placed the wares on a box next to Twilight. Twilight looked up from her scroll. "Oh no! I can't take them now!" Twilight looked aghast. "Why not? Yer standing right here now?" Applejack looked irritated. Twilight held the List up to her face. "Because I have exactly calculated the shortest route including what must be carried, and I will have to get a bag of biscuits and two pounds powdered sugar first from Sugarcube Corner" said Twilight. "It will be faster that way." "But... ya is already standin'. Right. Here." Applejack said, looking incredulous. "Of course, Applejack, silly filly, I went here to say hello to you! But now I must go on. See you later when the List calls for your stand!" Still reading her List, Twilight walked off humming to herself. Applejack stared at her slack-jawed, then she noticed a tugging at her legs. It was Spike. "Save me! Or kill me! She's been like this for a week!" The little dragon looked like he was ready to collapse. Applejack chuckled. "Ah'm afraid yer on your own, Spike, though 'tis a pity Twi's latest fixation hurts ya as well as herself." Just as Twilight went into the shop, Rainbow Dash was leaving it, still just walking, trying to munch muffins at the same time as she kept the coffee mug in her mouth. Twilight turned to her. "Hi Rainbow Dash! Look at my new List!" Twilight said happily. Rainbow Dash walked straight past her. "Well, I guess only I find it interesting, but..." she mumbled. "Rainbow Dash!" No response. "Rainbow! Dash! Dashie! RD!" The pegasus walked on and was about to launch herself into the air when she spilled industrial strength coffee on herself and changed her mind. She placed her breakfast on a bench and started eating it, breaking off to yawn. The other ponies closed in on her, Applejack with the most celerity and an angry expression. "Rainbow Dash! Twilight jus' wanted to say hello, what's up with ya?" There was no answer. When she reached the bench, Applejack could see that her friend had fallen deeply asleep leaning against it, and coffee was running over it and dripping on her coat unnoticed. Twilight and Spike joined her. "What's up with her?" Spike said. "Is she ill?" "Looks dead tired to me" said Applejack and frowned. "Is she training too much or somethin'?" Twilight looked closely at Rainbow Dash and registered a matted, unwashed coat, a mane that lacked all luster and was twisted into knots, and hooves that hadn't been washed for a very long time. "She is exhausted. And she looks like she hasn't been sleeping, eating or even drinking enough!" said Twilight with some panic in her voice. "This can be really dangerous - we should take her to the clinic!" "Sure can do!" said Applejack. "Jus' hoist her up on my back an' I'll take her there". Said - and done. In which Dash eats ensilage puddingThis fanfic is built upon the My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic cartoon. I don't own it, that would be Hasbro. Chapter Two - In Which Rainbow Dash Eats Ensilage Pudding Rainbow Dash woke up with a jerk and a gasp. She was in darkness, neither on a cloud nor in her own bed. Instead, she was in a smaller bed painted pink, in a room hung with posters of fairy tale characters and androgynous-looking colt singers. A collection of butterfly-winged fairy ponies made of paper hung just over her head. Rainbow Dash rose groggily from the bed in stunned silence as the door to the room slowly opened and a thin ray of light speared her blinking eyes. "Are you awake, darling?" said Rarity as she peeked through the door. Rainbow Dash realized she was in the room Sweetie Belle used when she stayed with her sister. "I have to get to work!" said Rainbow Dash and rubbed her eyes. Rarity turned on the lights in the room, momentarily stunning the pegasus. "First" said Rarity "it is evening already. Second, Twilight contacted your forestallion, Mr. Beaufort Scale, and told him you couldn't work today because you were ill." Rainbow Dash started to protest but Rarity interrupted her. "He was very understanding and said you had worked yourself ragged the last week and that he had feared you would fall ill or have an accident. So don't worry about it." "Why am I in your house?" asked the weathermare as she sat down on the bed again. "You collapsed on your way to work and Applejack and Twilight took you to the nurse. When it turned out to be just lack of food, water and over all sleep, she just prescribed rest. Since none of us could get to your house and someone would need to keep an eye on you, we lodged you here, it was the closest and my work is just one stair away. Sweetie Belle isn't here this week so I made her bed for you." Rainbow Dash looked away from Rarity. "You wouldn't have needed to do that." she mumbled. "I can take care of myself..." "Nonsense!" Rarity chided her. "I didn't even need to check on you that much, since Pinkie Pie was here whenever she could get a break from work." Rarity pointed to the bedside table, which had a heap of heart-decorated paper boxes on it. "She brought you flowers and chocolate every time, that's why the table is covered in chocolate like that." "Where did the flowers go, then?" said a stunned Rainbow Dash. "We're having them for dinner, with some ensilage pudding." said Rarity. "Ensilage? I'm not a sick foal!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "Well, you need some filling food, and we are all eating it" Rarity said and looked stern. "If you can walk, please get yourself into the bathroom across the hall and wash up. Fluttershy got your... toiletries from your home and I put them there." Rarity shuddered at the memory of the plastic bag with a very old toothbrush, a steel comb missing a few teeth, and a bottle of the rather cheap SOAPOO - ITS A SOAP AND A SHAMPOO! brand FOR SPORTSCOLTS. "I need to be sure the ensilage doesn't burn. Come down when you're ready." The Elements of Harmony were gathered in Rarity's dining room, which made it pretty crowded, but it wasn't the first time. Aside from the fact that Rainbow Dash didn't say much, and that the others constantly kept pushing her to eat more ensilage pudding and flower salad, and to drink more water and juice, it was a fairly normal dinner between friends. But when they reached the dessert - a huge apple pie brought by, of course, Applejack, and a jar of strawberry-blueberry-raspberry-gooseberry-cloudberry ice cream brought by Pinkie Pie ("I invented the flavor! Twilight should like it because it is scientiriffically tastulous!"), Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash and looked at her seriously. "Dashie, sugarcube, what has gotten into ya? Yer normally the opposite of hardworkin', an' the least likely of us, I'd say, to work yerself sick. Is it yer trainin'? Do ya lack money and haveta work overtime? What is it?" Rainbow Dash munched her pie and avoided Applejack's gaze. "It's nothing big. There have just been a lot of weather disturbances lately, so I haven't been able to work as fast and take my naps. Well, or eat lunch." Fluttershy swallowed, cleared her throat and spoke up. "That doesn't explain why you haven't slept at night or eaten dinner, Dash. I... saw your bed in your house and your kitchen, not that I meant to pry or anything. And you don't get this tired just from missing naps, if you don't mind me saying so. I know more about... animal medicine than pony medicine, but I'm sure of that." She quickly hid her face by turning it to the apple pie on her plate. "It's just a work thing" said Rainbow Dash. "Thanks so much for helping me, but I'll be more careful now and you needn't worry about it." "If there is trouble at your work I could use my... government contacts and find out." said Twilight "The weather service is a public business, after all. But I would much rather my friend tell me why she is becoming ill than having to spy on her." "No one needs to spy on anyone! We'll help you!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "We're your friends, and besides it would be our duty as citizens!" Everypony stared at her. "Oh you heard what Twilight said! The weather belongs to everypony! Dash could swear us in as her deputies, or something like that!" Rainbow Dash sighed and licked icecream from her nose. She had been really hungry. It was a long time since she had a real, hot meal. She looked at the others, actually meeting their eyes. "Someone is stealing from my work. I... feel kinda responsible, so I've been trying to keep a watch at night. Guess I had a hard time sleeping anyway. And those thefts have caused trouble with the weather just as I said, so I haven't had time for my usual naps during the day." "Wait" said Rarity "what is there to steal from the weather service?" "Well" said Rainbow Dash. "weather, of course. Duh!" After the mares had cleared the table ("Oh don't worry about the dishes, I'll do them later!" said Rarity) they removed to the tea room, as Rarity insisted on calling her living room when she had tea there. (Sometimes she would insist it was "the library" though not within earshot of Twilight Sparkle, who questioned the libraryness of a room with just one bookshelf.) After Pinkie Pie had finished putting some drops of tea in her sugar, Rainbow Dash started to explain. "It began a little over a week ago. I'd just put some clouds - not actual rainclouds, mind you, just basic clouds - in western Whitetail Woods. I... went away to do something else, but then I had to go back there after like two hours or so. The clouds - gone! They hadn't drifted off in the wind as planned, they sure hadn't dried up or rained away. So somepony must have grabbed them. I looked all over for them, and missed most of my day. The boss was less happy about that, even less happy about the cloudnickers. Then, it continued... every day we lost several clouds, gusts of wind... even pieces of rainbow and some bolts of lightning. None of us have been able to catch 'em at it, even when I started get up at night and fly patrols around Ponyville." She sighed and looked out Rarity's window. "I am the fastest flier in Equestria. I should be able to do this. But..." "Ya can't be everywhere at once, so they steal where yer not right now." Applejack looked sympathetic. "Ah admire yer hard work here, Dash, but nopony can do what yer trying to do." Rainbow Dash looked flustered. "But why would anypony steal weather?" said Twilight Sparkle. "Everypony already has weather, right?" The others looked at her. "Yer a city filly alright" said Applejack. "Farmponies might want more rain, millers an' sailors might want more wind. Celestia alone knows why someone would want a rainbow..." "I think it would be awesome to have a rainbow!" said Pinkie Pie. "Well, not enough to steal one but they look great." "Oh. I hadn't thought like that." Twilight frowned. "But Applejack is right, Rainbow Dash! You have shown empirically - that is, by experiencing it yourself - that you cannot catch the thieves that way. If we help you, I am sure we can figure out another way to do it." "Aren't we forgetting the easiest one, Twilight darling?" said Rarity and sipped her tea daintily. "Shouldn't the police do something about large scale thievery of important public property? Why haven't Mr Scale reported it?" "Oh he did!" said Rainbow Dash. "But there are no guardponies here in Ponyville, closest station is in Canterlot, and they said that unless something bigger happens they simply can't send umpteen police pegasuses to sit on every cloud over a tiny unimportant village." "So this isn't 'big' to them?" said Rarity angrily. Applejack broke in. "Ah can sorta see what they mean, Rarity. 'Cause Ah read ma weather almanac every day, and haven't seen anythin' missin'. The weather hasn't become worse yet, despite what Dash says here. What's up with that?" "Well, they haven't stolen anything big over the town itself or the farms, I suppose since then anyone just need to look up and see who they are. Anything going wrong with the scheduled weather has been where they stole something and we couldn't get new parts there in time, and that was in the wilds around here, where there aren't many ponies." "Uhm..." Fluttershy started to speak. "Maybe... maybe I can..." She looked down in her tea. "Can what, Fluttershy?" said Twilight gently. "I could talk to my animal friends and see if they know anything. They might have seen somepony they didn't recognize flying with a cloud, or noticed the weather being wrong." "Fluttershy, that's great!" shouted Twilight, though Fluttershy shrank back from her enthusiasm. "That's how we will do it!" She turned to Rainbow Dash. "Not even you can be everywhere at once, but not only are there animals in the wilds, there are ponies working and traveling and whatnot. There are somepony almost everywhere. Somepony must have seen something - not just taking something but moving it! I mean, they either have used the weather they stole…" "That would make lots of winds and rain out of nowhere" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Or they stashed it somewhere to sell it or use it later… " "The clouds would make one big heap" exclaimed Rainbow Dash. "...and then they must have moved it. There is no chance all that could have bypassed every eye in Ponyville!" Twilight finished triumphantly. For the first time in a long while Rainbow Dash looked both happy and energetic. "That sounds really smart, Twilight! If we just know who did it is the rest is easy." Twilight blushed a little, but now she was in her organizing mood. "Fluttershy, tomorrow you ask your animal friends. Applejack, see if you can ask your fellow farmers, because you know ponies in the countryside. Rarity and Pinkie Pie, check the same in town. Rainbow Dash, ask your friends at work and check with your boss so you can make a list over what has been stolen. Your boss might already have a list, he probably has to send one to his bosses. And I… will do some research." "Twi', Ah don't think there are books on recent weather thievery in Ponyville" said a doubting Applejack. "Not books - but newspapers. The first thing ponies do when the weather fails is to write a Strongly Worded Letter to the local newspaper. Besides, this might be bigger! They might be stealing weather from more than one town, and they might sell it somewhere else. Newspapers love to report about crime, even small crime. And when newspapers have nothing to write - " and pony society was quiet and peaceful " - they love to write about strange things people have seen... like weather disappearing." Twilight looked confident. "So starting tomorrow, we will solve this mystery together, Rainbow Dash, don't you worry." Rainbow Dash looked happy but a bit embarrassed. "I'm going to start tonight!" said Pinkie Pie. "There are night-open places and I know them all since that's when you have parties. I'll ask their customers!" "Jus' don't have too much sugar" said Applejack. "Ah'm gonna make a sweep tonight as well as Ah get home - Ah should catch a lot of cows, and they see much when they graze." "Well, everyone who can manage it starts tonight, sure!" said Twilight. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash. "That doesn't include you. You should go back to bed." "But I slept all day!" said Rainbow Dash. "I'm not tired!" "Well, if you absolutely cannot sleep, go training then" said Rarity. "But no aimless patrolling or worrying, darling" "Training?" said Rainbow Dash "It has been long since you did train, hasn't it?" said Rarity and smiled. "Remember, we might need the fast and fearless Rainbow Dash before this is over!" "Well - I guess you're right. I'm a sportspony, not a guardpony." Rainbow Dash drained her teacup and left, just stopping to grab the Pinkie Pie praline pile from Sweetie Belle's bedtable. "See you all tomorrow!" As the other ponies started to drop off, Rarity turned to Twilight Sparkle, who as usual had ended up in the leader role. "This isn't over yet" she said sternly. "Well, of course not! We will have to catch those thieves before Rainbow Dash can stop worrying and Ponyville's weather is safe" said Twilight as she packed her bags with some gems for Spike, a gift from Rarity. Rarity looked solemn. "That's not what I meant. What I meant was that it is strange enough for Rainbow Dash to work herself sick over troubles at work. She is far too... laid back for that. But to give up her training? What could make you stop reading for a week, Twilight Sparkle?" In which Dash connects the dotsThis is based on the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Which I totally own. Yeah. Own so much I am gonna charge people muffins for using it. This is not at all a lame joke to cover that I don't want to write it is the intellectual property of Hasbro. No sir! Chapter Three: In which Dash connects the dots. “And then” said the donkey carter, “the wind just stopped.” He brought his left front hoof down with a stomp. “Just like that.” “Ya mean it died down?” asked Applejack, who had met the donkey couple as usual pulling their carts from Ponyville to Manehatten, filled with farm produce. Most in Ponyville sent their veggies to Canterlot. Those who didn't used the Shaft couple's services. “No, I said stopped and meant stopped. The wind didn't slow down, it just wasn't there.” “It took some while for the windmills to catch up, so they kept going on momentum a while. It was creepy – really creepy” said his wife. “The birds all stopped singing, and junior here thought he saw ghosts”. She indicated their colt, who flushed with anger. “I didn't 'see ghosts'! I saw something real, it was a big shadow in the sky. Like a big bird!” “Yes yes dear” said the jenny, clearly indicating she didn't believe a word of it. “And where were ya when this happen, did ya say?” said Applejack. “Well first I thought the weather reports were wrong again – they have been off a little – but by more now. I mean, unscheduled thunderstorm?” The mailmare chewed on her break muffin. Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, it seems hard to mislay a thunderstorm. Unless you have as very cluttered house.” The mailmare smiled. Pinkie had no trouble following her gaze, which calmed her. Few managed that, so she didn't worry about Pinkie's other sides. “And I was about to think that I would need to turn around pick up my raincoat at home, when I didn't because I had to think about the thunder.” “Was the thunder wrong?” said Pinkie who had somehow produced a dicta-phone “It wasn't there! You know there is always a gap between lightning and thunder, right?” Pinkie nodded. “Except when you are where it strikes! Then they are there at the same time, flash bang!” she said. “Trust me, I know!” The mailmare choose to ignore the implications of this. “It wasn't a big gap between it and the lightning, there was no thunder. It was silent lightning! Never seen that before. Heard it, I mean.” She poured some coffee after her muffin bite. “So that's where it come from!” Pinkie mused into her dicta-phone “What came from?” Pinkie hastily spoke into the machine again: “Disregard that statement!” And then: “The saying – 'stealing my thunder'! By the way, disregard that statement as well!” “Who are you speaking to?” said the mailmare confused. “Twilight Sparkle!” said Pinkie happily. Spike dumped the heap of newspapers on the table. “These are the last.” Then he collapsed on the floor. Twilight smiled and started sorting them. “Thank you, Spike!” “From now on, Madam Boddoni at the newsagent thinks you are the best pony” Spike panted. “Well, the work isn't over, Spike. Now we must read them all through, cut out anything that speaks about weather, note which date the paper was from, and put them into order.” Spike groaned. “Why does this has to be so hard?!” “Because there isn't a Ponyville newspaper, but any of the big newspapers in Canterlot or Manehatten could mention Ponyville, since they know Ponyvillians read them. So we need to check them all. Since they are all national newspapers, we can check for national weather trouble at the same time, and actually save some time. Take five, Spike, and then step on it!” Spike groaned again. “TIKKA-NIKKA-NIKK-TIKK-TAKK!” “You don't say, Mr Woodpecker? That was awfully rude of that nuthatch! I mean, it probably had its reasons...” Fluttershy was always being dragged into various conflicts among animals, completely against her will. A naive pony would that thought that ever since ponydom came to control nature around it, to the degree that they even weaned predators off eating their friends (well, at least the warm-blooded ones), peace would reign in nature. Not so. Conflicts were constant. “TAKKI-NAKKI-KIKK-TIKK-NAKK!” “So it started raining when the chickens had guaranteed it wouldn't, that's why you had the quarrel to start with.” Domestic animals tended to carry news to the “wilder” ones, truly wild animals being nonexistent outside Everfree Forest and inside Equestria. “TIKKI-TIKKA-NIKKA-KNAKKI-TAKK-TAKK!” “But then the rain started drifting north, and there was no wind? Well, that is strange... Where were you then?” “TIKK-TIKK-TAKK-TAKK-NOKKA-NIKKA-NAKK!” “Over the hill with the old bole with the ants but on this side of the stream that has a lot of round stones?” Animals weren't much for proper names for anything. “NOKK-NOKK-TOKK-TAKK-TIKK-KIKKA-KAKKA-KIKK!” “And then... the blueberry sauntered slicing anthropoid splotches? What?” “TIKK! NYKKA-NIKKA-TIKK-KAKK-TIKKA-NIKK-NIKK!” “Oh, you found a worm, sorry. I thought you were making conversation...” “It's scandalous, is what it is!” The little old unicorn mare waved her umbrella telekinetically, keeping her mouth free to be loud. “Oh, it is most rude, I agree” said Rarity dodging the umbrella while holding the box of scarves the old mare technically was there to inspect and then decide were too expensive. Rarity knew her customers, and the only reason Meadow Flowers shopped these days was to chat. She would never admit this, however. Rarity had known that letting the gossip in with a comment about something exactly for her would start her talking at once. “They keep moving these things at night and not avoiding the village completely, so they wake you up!” “Oh, there were more than you?” Rarity asked and held up a silver-embroidered black shawl. “Certainly! Three of the mares in my sewing circle! Though I assume Rose Garden just claimed it to make herself sound important...” The old unicorn laughed hard at that. Rarity kept her smile. “When was it? All the same night?” she asked innocently. “Oh no... let's see, the first time was the day after the Flower sisters had that incident outside their house...” Meadow Flowers switched for another line of gossip. Rarity hoped she would get back soon, her horn was getting tired of waving shawls around. “Thanks chief for the help” said Rainbow Dash, not really used to feeling grateful, especially not to Beaufort Scale. “And thanks for the time off.” “Don't spend it all playing detective!” the old green pegasus grumbled. “And you weren't of much use when you tried to work last week. It's better you take the time off.” Rainbow Dash laughed weakly. He looked at her seriously. “Don't let it get to you. Nopony blames you. It wasn't your fault. Well, not in that way. It was your fault, but you have done your part to correct it, and nopony has any right to blame you any longer.” Rainbow Dash looked at her co-workers, who had avoided her. “It doesn't feel that way, chief” she said quietly. “'Nopony' includes you, Dash” said Mr Scale gruffly. “'Nopony' includes you.” Having gathered in Twilight's library that evening, the Elements of Harmony compared notes and memories and dictaphones (the statements were duly disregarded) and Twilight used a marker to draw little arrows all over the map Rainbow Dash had gotten from mr Scale. What direction (if possible, otherwise she made the little arrow go in two directions), what time, and what day. When everyone else had done their thing, Twilight gave the marker to Rarity and picked up her binder with clippings. “First – there are indeed a number of angry letters about the weather. Most complain about small things, that's probably why it didn't bother someone like you, Applejack, who is more seriously affected by weather.” Twilight rattled off a number of somewhat incomplete data, half of which matched the angry old mares' statements Rarity had collected. “A fearsome force indeed” said Pinkie. “What would happen, I mean, if some dastardly villain could channel the power of the little angry old lady?!” She was speaking into the dicta-phone again. “Then, there are reports outside Ponyville... which are like this.” Twilight held up the almost empty pages of this part of the binder, with only a couple of clippings. “Unscheduled smog in Manehatten, drought in Appleloosa – that can't have anything to do with this.” “Yeah” said Spike “that was a pity! All that job for nothing!” Twilight shook her head. “Oh no! Sometimes it is important to know that something doesn't exist as well! Now we know that it is a local Ponyville thing.” Everyone fell silent. “You know, that doesn't mean someone from Ponyville did it, just that it is only happening here. Ahem. And then we have the final thing I found, which is a dozy.” She turned to the last page of the binder and read from the luridly-colored clipping glued there: “SWINEHERD SPOTS SPACEPONIES – UFO OVER PONYVILLE – THEY ARE HERE, AND THEY WANT OUR PIGS!” “What” said Rarity. “Spaceponies!” shouted Pinkie Pie. “Where's that from?” said Rainbow Dash. Twilight grinned impishly. “Equestria Daily, three days ago!” The library groaned collectively. Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “Twilight, ED claims Soarin' is really a disguised griffon. They might be fun to read but they are manure. It ain’t flying saucers stealing our weather.” “To be fair to ED, it doesn't talk about flying saucers, but UFOs” said Twilight. “Aren't those the same?” said Rarity. Twilight shook her head, and Pinkie held up a hoof and jumped up and down. “Oooh! I know! I know!” “Go on Pinkie, tell the rest of the class” said Applejack. “Well, a flying saucer is when you have a spaceship with spaceponies who will land and make crop circles or stuff. But a UFO, that just means you see something up there which you don't recognize!” Twilight nodded. “And Scuffle Truffle, the swineherd they mentioned, who lives outside Ponyville, did really see something in the sky that he couldn't say what it was. 'A cloud moving too fast, faster when them pegasuses pull 'em!' Like a stolen cloud!” The others pondered this, and Rarity looked sourly at Applejack. “You have been looking smug a while, so you know more!” she said. “I am so curious!” Applejack giggled. “Yeah, sorry. Twilight sent a message to me an' Ah went out and talked to Scuffle Truffle. An old friend of ma Pa's. He was really angry what them city-slickers wrote in their paper, but he did see the cloud, an' his pigs confirmed it. They could say where it was as well.” Applejack borrowed the marker and drew an arrow on the map, far away from any other arrow. “So, Rainbow Dash, what do you make of this?” Twilight said. “Me? I'm not good at this thinking thing...” “You are the one who knows weather, darling” said Rarity. “Yeah, this is like cops do when they look for burglars!” Pinkie said. “You have to use your weatherly knowledge to say: how could the have moved all this swag after they took it.” Rainbow looked a little helpless. Applejack stuck the marker in her muzzle. “Here, sugarcube. Go on ahead. Do some graffiti.” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. Then... she started to draw. Everyone was silent, even Pinkie Pie. Lines grew and shapes formed on the map, and it took Rainbow Dash maybe an hour, but when she was done... “It looks little like a fleeing squid!” said Pinkie Pie. “It makes one big fat arrow!” said Appejack. “Every single one piece of weather adrift is goin' in one direction, an' then they turn north-west where Scuffle Truffle an' his hogs saw the 'UFO'.” Rainbow Dash nodded and planted a hoof at the map. “Towards Shuttlecock Mountain. And behind it you could hide everything in the stores of Cloudsdale's weather factory, and no one would see it!” “Because there is this strange weather stationed there permanently!” said Pinkie and made a little dance. “And because of the angle from Ponyville!” said Rarity. “Great job, Rainbow Dash!” said Twilight and smiled. Rainbow Dash beamed with brash pride, her usual expression, for the first time in a long while. “Of course!” she said. “I'm the greatest!” Then she reared and plunged. “So, expedition to Shuttlecock Mountain starts tomorrow?” The others nodded. “I can find someone to mind the store” said Rarity. “I can get time off!” said Pinkie Pie. “I'll bring food! And a loudspeaker!” “I'll get some serious packin', and the family can mind the farm for two days. Back and forth shouldn't take longer.” The apple farmer nodded. “Why a loudspeaker?” said Twilight, then added: “And sure, I and Spike will come too.” Fluttershy, cleared her throat and failed. She spoke up anyway. “How many are there?” The others grew silent. “What do you mean darling?” asked Rarity. “How many thieves, I mean, not that I know much but... they have to be more than one. Look at all things they moved, and how fast. I mean, sorry Rainbow Dash, not even you could fly that fast carrying a whole thundercloud by yourself.” The others pondered her words. “How many weather thieves are there?”
In which Dash fails to crashThis story is based on the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which belongs to Hasbro, not me. Chapter One – In which Dash fails to crash The story began when Rainbow Dash failed to crash-land on the main street of Ponyville early one morning. This did not mean that she landed successfully, just that her crash-landing was wholly pathetic. She came in with a slow, wobbling flight, landed on only three of her legs, stumbled forward, her wings flapping aimlessly, until she fell down with her muzzle in the dusty street and plowed a furrow for a few yards before she came to a complete stop and just lay there with a scrape on her chin and her hind legs in the air. Applejack has just set up her market stall, and while she saw her friend crash, she at first didn't pay it much attention to it. Rainbow Dash crashed regularly as she trained, usually in much more violent fashion than this, no worse for wear. However, when she noticed the azure pegasus didn't rise, she got worried and trotted over. "Dash, ya OK?" Applejack wondered as she pulled her up with her teeth and swished her tail to dust her off. "Ya hurt?" Rainbow Dash blinked and shook her head. "I'm fine. Never been better!" she said with forced cheer. "Would love to chat - or race - but I have to get to work!" Then she started to walk away shakily towards the shops. "Uhm, Dash, aren't yer job in that direction?" said Applejack worried and pointed a hoof towards the sky, where weather ponies usually work. "That's Sugarcube Corner." "Just gonna get some breakfast on way to work" her friend said and yawned as she trotted to the door and entered it just as Mrs Cake opened it. "See ya!" Applejack frowned, shrugged and went back to her stall. Inside the shop Rainbow Dash sauntered up to the counter where Mr Cake was making the last things ready. Behind the counter was a newly installed enormous coffee machine, and the baker looked suspiciously at it. "Hello, Rainbow Dash" he said when he noticed her. "What can I do for you today?" "I want some doughnuts... strawberry... and some coffee." said Rainbow Dash and yawned again. "Strong coffee!" she added. "No problem!" The baker got two fresh doughnuts with strawberry jam and started to put them in a paper bag. "No no, don't bother, I will eat them straightaway!" said the pegasus. Mr Cake shrugged and put them down on the counter in front of her. "Coffee, then... How strong did you want?" he said as he went up to the coffee machine. "Espresso. Black. Double... no, make that double-double. Double-double-boppel-triple-trippel strong!" Rainbow Dash started to munch on a doughnut. "Really strong, I get that." Mr Cake started to fiddle around with the machine. "I am sorry, this will take a little while. I am not really that good at this newfangled contraption yet. Your friend Pinkie Pie is the one who manages it, really, and I suspect she actually has added some things to it - " as he said this he looked very worried " - but she is still sleeping, she partied late and baked hard in the early morning, so... oh, there she blows!" The machine spouted a tar-like substance into a paper cup with a cookie printed on it. "Here's your coffee, young lady. I think it is..." he said as he turned to Rainbow Dash, but the mare, leaning against the counter, had falling asleep. Meanwhile, on the street, Applejack spotted another familiar face as she gave a matronly mare two jars of apple jam. "Hiya, Twi'!" she said as the purple unicorn trotted up to her, her bigger saddlebags on her back together with Spike, who blinked and yawned. "Grocery shopping?" "You read my mind!" said Twilight Sparkle and smiled. "I have decided to start to make my grocery shopping and cooking more efficient. I use up too much of my allowance and too often the larder is empty and I have to send Spike on unnecessary errands." "Sounds sensible to me. Would yer new, efficient shoppin' include any of our fine, healthy, price-worthy apple products?" said Applejack, ever the salesmare. "Well, I'll have to look at the List!" Twilight levitated a scroll from her bags and unrolled it. "I have carefully calculated both the nutritional values and suitable prices of all groceries for the upcoming months - perishables excluded, which will be bought on a tri-day schedule! Ah yes, here it is, two bottles of apple cider, one bag of apple rolls, one bag of dried apples!" "No fresh apples?" said Applejack and started to gather the mentioned wares. "Are ya goin' to stop eatin' fresh apples?" "Oh no, but they count as perishables, you see. They last much better in your cellar than in my larder, so I will buy them every third day instead." "Well then, here's yer other things, then. Twenty-two bits, please." Applejack placed the wares on a box next to Twilight. Twilight looked up from her scroll. "Oh no! I can't take them now!" Twilight looked aghast. "Why not? Yer standing right here now?" Applejack looked irritated. Twilight held the List up to her face. "Because I have exactly calculated the shortest route including what must be carried, and I will have to get a bag of biscuits and two pounds powdered sugar first from Sugarcube Corner" said Twilight. "It will be faster that way." "But... ya is already standin'. Right. Here." Applejack said, looking incredulous. "Of course, Applejack, silly filly, I went here to say hello to you! But now I must go on. See you later when the List calls for your stand!" Still reading her List, Twilight walked off humming to herself. Applejack stared at her slack-jawed, then she noticed a tugging at her legs. It was Spike. "Save me! Or kill me! She's been like this for a week!" The little dragon looked like he was ready to collapse. Applejack chuckled. "Ah'm afraid yer on your own, Spike, though 'tis a pity Twi's latest fixation hurts ya as well as herself." Just as Twilight went into the shop, Rainbow Dash was leaving it, still just walking, trying to munch muffins at the same time as she kept the coffee mug in her mouth. Twilight turned to her. "Hi Rainbow Dash! Look at my new List!" Twilight said happily. Rainbow Dash walked straight past her. "Well, I guess only I find it interesting, but..." she mumbled. "Rainbow Dash!" No response. "Rainbow! Dash! Dashie! RD!" The pegasus walked on and was about to launch herself into the air when she spilled industrial strength coffee on herself and changed her mind. She placed her breakfast on a bench and started eating it, breaking off to yawn. The other ponies closed in on her, Applejack with the most celerity and an angry expression. "Rainbow Dash! Twilight jus' wanted to say hello, what's up with ya?" There was no answer. When she reached the bench, Applejack could see that her friend had fallen deeply asleep leaning against it, and coffee was running over it and dripping on her coat unnoticed. Twilight and Spike joined her. "What's up with her?" Spike said. "Is she ill?" "Looks dead tired to me" said Applejack and frowned. "Is she training too much or somethin'?" Twilight looked closely at Rainbow Dash and registered a matted, unwashed coat, a mane that lacked all luster and was twisted into knots, and hooves that hadn't been washed for a very long time. "She is exhausted. And she looks like she hasn't been sleeping, eating or even drinking enough!" said Twilight with some panic in her voice. "This can be really dangerous - we should take her to the clinic!" "Sure can do!" said Applejack. "Jus' hoist her up on my back an' I'll take her there". Said - and done.
In which Dash eats ensilage puddingThis fanfic is built upon the My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic cartoon. I don't own it, that would be Hasbro. Chapter Two - In Which Rainbow Dash Eats Ensilage Pudding Rainbow Dash woke up with a jerk and a gasp. She was in darkness, neither on a cloud nor in her own bed. Instead, she was in a smaller bed painted pink, in a room hung with posters of fairy tale characters and androgynous-looking colt singers. A collection of butterfly-winged fairy ponies made of paper hung just over her head. Rainbow Dash rose groggily from the bed in stunned silence as the door to the room slowly opened and a thin ray of light speared her blinking eyes. "Are you awake, darling?" said Rarity as she peeked through the door. Rainbow Dash realized she was in the room Sweetie Belle used when she stayed with her sister. "I have to get to work!" said Rainbow Dash and rubbed her eyes. Rarity turned on the lights in the room, momentarily stunning the pegasus. "First" said Rarity "it is evening already. Second, Twilight contacted your forestallion, Mr. Beaufort Scale, and told him you couldn't work today because you were ill." Rainbow Dash started to protest but Rarity interrupted her. "He was very understanding and said you had worked yourself ragged the last week and that he had feared you would fall ill or have an accident. So don't worry about it." "Why am I in your house?" asked the weathermare as she sat down on the bed again. "You collapsed on your way to work and Applejack and Twilight took you to the nurse. When it turned out to be just lack of food, water and over all sleep, she just prescribed rest. Since none of us could get to your house and someone would need to keep an eye on you, we lodged you here, it was the closest and my work is just one stair away. Sweetie Belle isn't here this week so I made her bed for you." Rainbow Dash looked away from Rarity. "You wouldn't have needed to do that." she mumbled. "I can take care of myself..." "Nonsense!" Rarity chided her. "I didn't even need to check on you that much, since Pinkie Pie was here whenever she could get a break from work." Rarity pointed to the bedside table, which had a heap of heart-decorated paper boxes on it. "She brought you flowers and chocolate every time, that's why the table is covered in chocolate like that." "Where did the flowers go, then?" said a stunned Rainbow Dash. "We're having them for dinner, with some ensilage pudding." said Rarity. "Ensilage? I'm not a sick foal!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "Well, you need some filling food, and we are all eating it" Rarity said and looked stern. "If you can walk, please get yourself into the bathroom across the hall and wash up. Fluttershy got your... toiletries from your home and I put them there." Rarity shuddered at the memory of the plastic bag with a very old toothbrush, a steel comb missing a few teeth, and a bottle of the rather cheap SOAPOO - ITS A SOAP AND A SHAMPOO! brand FOR SPORTSCOLTS. "I need to be sure the ensilage doesn't burn. Come down when you're ready." The Elements of Harmony were gathered in Rarity's dining room, which made it pretty crowded, but it wasn't the first time. Aside from the fact that Rainbow Dash didn't say much, and that the others constantly kept pushing her to eat more ensilage pudding and flower salad, and to drink more water and juice, it was a fairly normal dinner between friends. But when they reached the dessert - a huge apple pie brought by, of course, Applejack, and a jar of strawberry-blueberry-raspberry-gooseberry-cloudberry ice cream brought by Pinkie Pie ("I invented the flavor! Twilight should like it because it is scientiriffically tastulous!"), Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash and looked at her seriously. "Dashie, sugarcube, what has gotten into ya? Yer normally the opposite of hardworkin', an' the least likely of us, I'd say, to work yerself sick. Is it yer trainin'? Do ya lack money and haveta work overtime? What is it?" Rainbow Dash munched her pie and avoided Applejack's gaze. "It's nothing big. There have just been a lot of weather disturbances lately, so I haven't been able to work as fast and take my naps. Well, or eat lunch." Fluttershy swallowed, cleared her throat and spoke up. "That doesn't explain why you haven't slept at night or eaten dinner, Dash. I... saw your bed in your house and your kitchen, not that I meant to pry or anything. And you don't get this tired just from missing naps, if you don't mind me saying so. I know more about... animal medicine than pony medicine, but I'm sure of that." She quickly hid her face by turning it to the apple pie on her plate. "It's just a work thing" said Rainbow Dash. "Thanks so much for helping me, but I'll be more careful now and you needn't worry about it." "If there is trouble at your work I could use my... government contacts and find out." said Twilight "The weather service is a public business, after all. But I would much rather my friend tell me why she is becoming ill than having to spy on her." "No one needs to spy on anyone! We'll help you!" shouted Pinkie Pie. "We're your friends, and besides it would be our duty as citizens!" Everypony stared at her. "Oh you heard what Twilight said! The weather belongs to everypony! Dash could swear us in as her deputies, or something like that!" Rainbow Dash sighed and licked icecream from her nose. She had been really hungry. It was a long time since she had a real, hot meal. She looked at the others, actually meeting their eyes. "Someone is stealing from my work. I... feel kinda responsible, so I've been trying to keep a watch at night. Guess I had a hard time sleeping anyway. And those thefts have caused trouble with the weather just as I said, so I haven't had time for my usual naps during the day." "Wait" said Rarity "what is there to steal from the weather service?" "Well" said Rainbow Dash. "weather, of course. Duh!" After the mares had cleared the table ("Oh don't worry about the dishes, I'll do them later!" said Rarity) they removed to the tea room, as Rarity insisted on calling her living room when she had tea there. (Sometimes she would insist it was "the library" though not within earshot of Twilight Sparkle, who questioned the libraryness of a room with just one bookshelf.) After Pinkie Pie had finished putting some drops of tea in her sugar, Rainbow Dash started to explain. "It began a little over a week ago. I'd just put some clouds - not actual rainclouds, mind you, just basic clouds - in western Whitetail Woods. I... went away to do something else, but then I had to go back there after like two hours or so. The clouds - gone! They hadn't drifted off in the wind as planned, they sure hadn't dried up or rained away. So somepony must have grabbed them. I looked all over for them, and missed most of my day. The boss was less happy about that, even less happy about the cloudnickers. Then, it continued... every day we lost several clouds, gusts of wind... even pieces of rainbow and some bolts of lightning. None of us have been able to catch 'em at it, even when I started get up at night and fly patrols around Ponyville." She sighed and looked out Rarity's window. "I am the fastest flier in Equestria. I should be able to do this. But..." "Ya can't be everywhere at once, so they steal where yer not right now." Applejack looked sympathetic. "Ah admire yer hard work here, Dash, but nopony can do what yer trying to do." Rainbow Dash looked flustered. "But why would anypony steal weather?" said Twilight Sparkle. "Everypony already has weather, right?" The others looked at her. "Yer a city filly alright" said Applejack. "Farmponies might want more rain, millers an' sailors might want more wind. Celestia alone knows why someone would want a rainbow..." "I think it would be awesome to have a rainbow!" said Pinkie Pie. "Well, not enough to steal one but they look great." "Oh. I hadn't thought like that." Twilight frowned. "But Applejack is right, Rainbow Dash! You have shown empirically - that is, by experiencing it yourself - that you cannot catch the thieves that way. If we help you, I am sure we can figure out another way to do it." "Aren't we forgetting the easiest one, Twilight darling?" said Rarity and sipped her tea daintily. "Shouldn't the police do something about large scale thievery of important public property? Why haven't Mr Scale reported it?" "Oh he did!" said Rainbow Dash. "But there are no guardponies here in Ponyville, closest station is in Canterlot, and they said that unless something bigger happens they simply can't send umpteen police pegasuses to sit on every cloud over a tiny unimportant village." "So this isn't 'big' to them?" said Rarity angrily. Applejack broke in. "Ah can sorta see what they mean, Rarity. 'Cause Ah read ma weather almanac every day, and haven't seen anythin' missin'. The weather hasn't become worse yet, despite what Dash says here. What's up with that?" "Well, they haven't stolen anything big over the town itself or the farms, I suppose since then anyone just need to look up and see who they are. Anything going wrong with the scheduled weather has been where they stole something and we couldn't get new parts there in time, and that was in the wilds around here, where there aren't many ponies." "Uhm..." Fluttershy started to speak. "Maybe... maybe I can..." She looked down in her tea. "Can what, Fluttershy?" said Twilight gently. "I could talk to my animal friends and see if they know anything. They might have seen somepony they didn't recognize flying with a cloud, or noticed the weather being wrong." "Fluttershy, that's great!" shouted Twilight, though Fluttershy shrank back from her enthusiasm. "That's how we will do it!" She turned to Rainbow Dash. "Not even you can be everywhere at once, but not only are there animals in the wilds, there are ponies working and traveling and whatnot. There are somepony almost everywhere. Somepony must have seen something - not just taking something but moving it! I mean, they either have used the weather they stole…" "That would make lots of winds and rain out of nowhere" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Or they stashed it somewhere to sell it or use it later… " "The clouds would make one big heap" exclaimed Rainbow Dash. "...and then they must have moved it. There is no chance all that could have bypassed every eye in Ponyville!" Twilight finished triumphantly. For the first time in a long while Rainbow Dash looked both happy and energetic. "That sounds really smart, Twilight! If we just know who did it is the rest is easy." Twilight blushed a little, but now she was in her organizing mood. "Fluttershy, tomorrow you ask your animal friends. Applejack, see if you can ask your fellow farmers, because you know ponies in the countryside. Rarity and Pinkie Pie, check the same in town. Rainbow Dash, ask your friends at work and check with your boss so you can make a list over what has been stolen. Your boss might already have a list, he probably has to send one to his bosses. And I… will do some research." "Twi', Ah don't think there are books on recent weather thievery in Ponyville" said a doubting Applejack. "Not books - but newspapers. The first thing ponies do when the weather fails is to write a Strongly Worded Letter to the local newspaper. Besides, this might be bigger! They might be stealing weather from more than one town, and they might sell it somewhere else. Newspapers love to report about crime, even small crime. And when newspapers have nothing to write - " and pony society was quiet and peaceful " - they love to write about strange things people have seen... like weather disappearing." Twilight looked confident. "So starting tomorrow, we will solve this mystery together, Rainbow Dash, don't you worry." Rainbow Dash looked happy but a bit embarrassed. "I'm going to start tonight!" said Pinkie Pie. "There are night-open places and I know them all since that's when you have parties. I'll ask their customers!" "Jus' don't have too much sugar" said Applejack. "Ah'm gonna make a sweep tonight as well as Ah get home - Ah should catch a lot of cows, and they see much when they graze." "Well, everyone who can manage it starts tonight, sure!" said Twilight. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash. "That doesn't include you. You should go back to bed." "But I slept all day!" said Rainbow Dash. "I'm not tired!" "Well, if you absolutely cannot sleep, go training then" said Rarity. "But no aimless patrolling or worrying, darling" "Training?" said Rainbow Dash "It has been long since you did train, hasn't it?" said Rarity and smiled. "Remember, we might need the fast and fearless Rainbow Dash before this is over!" "Well - I guess you're right. I'm a sportspony, not a guardpony." Rainbow Dash drained her teacup and left, just stopping to grab the Pinkie Pie praline pile from Sweetie Belle's bedtable. "See you all tomorrow!" As the other ponies started to drop off, Rarity turned to Twilight Sparkle, who as usual had ended up in the leader role. "This isn't over yet" she said sternly. "Well, of course not! We will have to catch those thieves before Rainbow Dash can stop worrying and Ponyville's weather is safe" said Twilight as she packed her bags with some gems for Spike, a gift from Rarity. Rarity looked solemn. "That's not what I meant. What I meant was that it is strange enough for Rainbow Dash to work herself sick over troubles at work. She is far too... laid back for that. But to give up her training? What could make you stop reading for a week, Twilight Sparkle?"
In which Dash connects the dotsThis is based on the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Which I totally own. Yeah. Own so much I am gonna charge people muffins for using it. This is not at all a lame joke to cover that I don't want to write it is the intellectual property of Hasbro. No sir! Chapter Three: In which Dash connects the dots. “And then” said the donkey carter, “the wind just stopped.” He brought his left front hoof down with a stomp. “Just like that.” “Ya mean it died down?” asked Applejack, who had met the donkey couple as usual pulling their carts from Ponyville to Manehatten, filled with farm produce. Most in Ponyville sent their veggies to Canterlot. Those who didn't used the Shaft couple's services. “No, I said stopped and meant stopped. The wind didn't slow down, it just wasn't there.” “It took some while for the windmills to catch up, so they kept going on momentum a while. It was creepy – really creepy” said his wife. “The birds all stopped singing, and junior here thought he saw ghosts”. She indicated their colt, who flushed with anger. “I didn't 'see ghosts'! I saw something real, it was a big shadow in the sky. Like a big bird!” “Yes yes dear” said the jenny, clearly indicating she didn't believe a word of it. “And where were ya when this happen, did ya say?” said Applejack. “Well first I thought the weather reports were wrong again – they have been off a little – but by more now. I mean, unscheduled thunderstorm?” The mailmare chewed on her break muffin. Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, it seems hard to mislay a thunderstorm. Unless you have as very cluttered house.” The mailmare smiled. Pinkie had no trouble following her gaze, which calmed her. Few managed that, so she didn't worry about Pinkie's other sides. “And I was about to think that I would need to turn around pick up my raincoat at home, when I didn't because I had to think about the thunder.” “Was the thunder wrong?” said Pinkie who had somehow produced a dicta-phone “It wasn't there! You know there is always a gap between lightning and thunder, right?” Pinkie nodded. “Except when you are where it strikes! Then they are there at the same time, flash bang!” she said. “Trust me, I know!” The mailmare choose to ignore the implications of this. “It wasn't a big gap between it and the lightning, there was no thunder. It was silent lightning! Never seen that before. Heard it, I mean.” She poured some coffee after her muffin bite. “So that's where it come from!” Pinkie mused into her dicta-phone “What came from?” Pinkie hastily spoke into the machine again: “Disregard that statement!” And then: “The saying – 'stealing my thunder'! By the way, disregard that statement as well!” “Who are you speaking to?” said the mailmare confused. “Twilight Sparkle!” said Pinkie happily. Spike dumped the heap of newspapers on the table. “These are the last.” Then he collapsed on the floor. Twilight smiled and started sorting them. “Thank you, Spike!” “From now on, Madam Boddoni at the newsagent thinks you are the best pony” Spike panted. “Well, the work isn't over, Spike. Now we must read them all through, cut out anything that speaks about weather, note which date the paper was from, and put them into order.” Spike groaned. “Why does this has to be so hard?!” “Because there isn't a Ponyville newspaper, but any of the big newspapers in Canterlot or Manehatten could mention Ponyville, since they know Ponyvillians read them. So we need to check them all. Since they are all national newspapers, we can check for national weather trouble at the same time, and actually save some time. Take five, Spike, and then step on it!” Spike groaned again. “TIKKA-NIKKA-NIKK-TIKK-TAKK!” “You don't say, Mr Woodpecker? That was awfully rude of that nuthatch! I mean, it probably had its reasons...” Fluttershy was always being dragged into various conflicts among animals, completely against her will. A naive pony would that thought that ever since ponydom came to control nature around it, to the degree that they even weaned predators off eating their friends (well, at least the warm-blooded ones), peace would reign in nature. Not so. Conflicts were constant. “TAKKI-NAKKI-KIKK-TIKK-NAKK!” “So it started raining when the chickens had guaranteed it wouldn't, that's why you had the quarrel to start with.” Domestic animals tended to carry news to the “wilder” ones, truly wild animals being nonexistent outside Everfree Forest and inside Equestria. “TIKKI-TIKKA-NIKKA-KNAKKI-TAKK-TAKK!” “But then the rain started drifting north, and there was no wind? Well, that is strange... Where were you then?” “TIKK-TIKK-TAKK-TAKK-NOKKA-NIKKA-NAKK!” “Over the hill with the old bole with the ants but on this side of the stream that has a lot of round stones?” Animals weren't much for proper names for anything. “NOKK-NOKK-TOKK-TAKK-TIKK-KIKKA-KAKKA-KIKK!” “And then... the blueberry sauntered slicing anthropoid splotches? What?” “TIKK! NYKKA-NIKKA-TIKK-KAKK-TIKKA-NIKK-NIKK!” “Oh, you found a worm, sorry. I thought you were making conversation...” “It's scandalous, is what it is!” The little old unicorn mare waved her umbrella telekinetically, keeping her mouth free to be loud. “Oh, it is most rude, I agree” said Rarity dodging the umbrella while holding the box of scarves the old mare technically was there to inspect and then decide were too expensive. Rarity knew her customers, and the only reason Meadow Flowers shopped these days was to chat. She would never admit this, however. Rarity had known that letting the gossip in with a comment about something exactly for her would start her talking at once. “They keep moving these things at night and not avoiding the village completely, so they wake you up!” “Oh, there were more than you?” Rarity asked and held up a silver-embroidered black shawl. “Certainly! Three of the mares in my sewing circle! Though I assume Rose Garden just claimed it to make herself sound important...” The old unicorn laughed hard at that. Rarity kept her smile. “When was it? All the same night?” she asked innocently. “Oh no... let's see, the first time was the day after the Flower sisters had that incident outside their house...” Meadow Flowers switched for another line of gossip. Rarity hoped she would get back soon, her horn was getting tired of waving shawls around. “Thanks chief for the help” said Rainbow Dash, not really used to feeling grateful, especially not to Beaufort Scale. “And thanks for the time off.” “Don't spend it all playing detective!” the old green pegasus grumbled. “And you weren't of much use when you tried to work last week. It's better you take the time off.” Rainbow Dash laughed weakly. He looked at her seriously. “Don't let it get to you. Nopony blames you. It wasn't your fault. Well, not in that way. It was your fault, but you have done your part to correct it, and nopony has any right to blame you any longer.” Rainbow Dash looked at her co-workers, who had avoided her. “It doesn't feel that way, chief” she said quietly. “'Nopony' includes you, Dash” said Mr Scale gruffly. “'Nopony' includes you.” Having gathered in Twilight's library that evening, the Elements of Harmony compared notes and memories and dictaphones (the statements were duly disregarded) and Twilight used a marker to draw little arrows all over the map Rainbow Dash had gotten from mr Scale. What direction (if possible, otherwise she made the little arrow go in two directions), what time, and what day. When everyone else had done their thing, Twilight gave the marker to Rarity and picked up her binder with clippings. “First – there are indeed a number of angry letters about the weather. Most complain about small things, that's probably why it didn't bother someone like you, Applejack, who is more seriously affected by weather.” Twilight rattled off a number of somewhat incomplete data, half of which matched the angry old mares' statements Rarity had collected. “A fearsome force indeed” said Pinkie. “What would happen, I mean, if some dastardly villain could channel the power of the little angry old lady?!” She was speaking into the dicta-phone again. “Then, there are reports outside Ponyville... which are like this.” Twilight held up the almost empty pages of this part of the binder, with only a couple of clippings. “Unscheduled smog in Manehatten, drought in Appleloosa – that can't have anything to do with this.” “Yeah” said Spike “that was a pity! All that job for nothing!” Twilight shook her head. “Oh no! Sometimes it is important to know that something doesn't exist as well! Now we know that it is a local Ponyville thing.” Everyone fell silent. “You know, that doesn't mean someone from Ponyville did it, just that it is only happening here. Ahem. And then we have the final thing I found, which is a dozy.” She turned to the last page of the binder and read from the luridly-colored clipping glued there: “SWINEHERD SPOTS SPACEPONIES – UFO OVER PONYVILLE – THEY ARE HERE, AND THEY WANT OUR PIGS!” “What” said Rarity. “Spaceponies!” shouted Pinkie Pie. “Where's that from?” said Rainbow Dash. Twilight grinned impishly. “Equestria Daily, three days ago!” The library groaned collectively. Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “Twilight, ED claims Soarin' is really a disguised griffon. They might be fun to read but they are manure. It ain’t flying saucers stealing our weather.” “To be fair to ED, it doesn't talk about flying saucers, but UFOs” said Twilight. “Aren't those the same?” said Rarity. Twilight shook her head, and Pinkie held up a hoof and jumped up and down. “Oooh! I know! I know!” “Go on Pinkie, tell the rest of the class” said Applejack. “Well, a flying saucer is when you have a spaceship with spaceponies who will land and make crop circles or stuff. But a UFO, that just means you see something up there which you don't recognize!” Twilight nodded. “And Scuffle Truffle, the swineherd they mentioned, who lives outside Ponyville, did really see something in the sky that he couldn't say what it was. 'A cloud moving too fast, faster when them pegasuses pull 'em!' Like a stolen cloud!” The others pondered this, and Rarity looked sourly at Applejack. “You have been looking smug a while, so you know more!” she said. “I am so curious!” Applejack giggled. “Yeah, sorry. Twilight sent a message to me an' Ah went out and talked to Scuffle Truffle. An old friend of ma Pa's. He was really angry what them city-slickers wrote in their paper, but he did see the cloud, an' his pigs confirmed it. They could say where it was as well.” Applejack borrowed the marker and drew an arrow on the map, far away from any other arrow. “So, Rainbow Dash, what do you make of this?” Twilight said. “Me? I'm not good at this thinking thing...” “You are the one who knows weather, darling” said Rarity. “Yeah, this is like cops do when they look for burglars!” Pinkie said. “You have to use your weatherly knowledge to say: how could the have moved all this swag after they took it.” Rainbow looked a little helpless. Applejack stuck the marker in her muzzle. “Here, sugarcube. Go on ahead. Do some graffiti.” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. Then... she started to draw. Everyone was silent, even Pinkie Pie. Lines grew and shapes formed on the map, and it took Rainbow Dash maybe an hour, but when she was done... “It looks little like a fleeing squid!” said Pinkie Pie. “It makes one big fat arrow!” said Appejack. “Every single one piece of weather adrift is goin' in one direction, an' then they turn north-west where Scuffle Truffle an' his hogs saw the 'UFO'.” Rainbow Dash nodded and planted a hoof at the map. “Towards Shuttlecock Mountain. And behind it you could hide everything in the stores of Cloudsdale's weather factory, and no one would see it!” “Because there is this strange weather stationed there permanently!” said Pinkie and made a little dance. “And because of the angle from Ponyville!” said Rarity. “Great job, Rainbow Dash!” said Twilight and smiled. Rainbow Dash beamed with brash pride, her usual expression, for the first time in a long while. “Of course!” she said. “I'm the greatest!” Then she reared and plunged. “So, expedition to Shuttlecock Mountain starts tomorrow?” The others nodded. “I can find someone to mind the store” said Rarity. “I can get time off!” said Pinkie Pie. “I'll bring food! And a loudspeaker!” “I'll get some serious packin', and the family can mind the farm for two days. Back and forth shouldn't take longer.” The apple farmer nodded. “Why a loudspeaker?” said Twilight, then added: “And sure, I and Spike will come too.” Fluttershy, cleared her throat and failed. She spoke up anyway. “How many are there?” The others grew silent. “What do you mean darling?” asked Rarity. “How many thieves, I mean, not that I know much but... they have to be more than one. Look at all things they moved, and how fast. I mean, sorry Rainbow Dash, not even you could fly that fast carrying a whole thundercloud by yourself.” The others pondered her words. “How many weather thieves are there?”
