Why The Puns?

by Dasponi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1607

Something has been bugging Twilight Sparkle, and it's something she's finally going to get an answer to.

Every time Twilight looks at an atlas, or a map, she sees something that bothers her. After being unable to find the answer with research, she chooses instead to go to one of the two ponies who is bound to have the answer; Princess Celestia herself.

Just why does every place have a pony pun for a name?

No idea who the source of the cover image is, if someone lets me know I will be happy to credit them.

Published 2013-03-09 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-09 16:50:01 UTC

One And Only Chapter

Something was bothering Twilight Sparkle, unicorn and purple personal protégé of Princess Celestia. It was something that bothered her every time she looked at a map or an atlas and she was determined to finally get some answers about it. When it seemed like every week something went horribly wrong in the sleepy little town of Ponyville, Twilight had more pressing matters to attend to. The town had been quiet for a month or so and her curiosity was free to grow and her attempts to sate it would go unabated. After making sure that Spike, dragon and number one assistant of the purple personal protégé of Princess Celestia, was safely left in the care of her good friend Rarity Twilight set out on the train commonly known as The Friendship Express to the capital city of Canterlot. As she was asking for a ticket to Canterlot her mane gave a twang sound as part of it stood out on end, a sign that she was losing her mind. Canterlot itself bothered her and the thought she was going there made her more determined to find the answer to her question. She would have just written a letter to the Princess but she felt this was something that would spark a conversation. Conversations are better when had in person, and she would take any chance to converse with her beloved mentor.

When she was on the train she caught snippets of conversation from the other ponies on board. Some were talking about the places they had been recently, or were going to go to soon. Places like Fillydelphia, Trottingham, Prance, Manehattan, Buckingham, Mareis and Coltchester. There was even a place that was simply called Mane. Every time she heard the name of another place there was another twang and another strand of her mane sent out of place. By the time she made it to Canterlot itself she looked like she had just gotten out of bed, after not brushing her mane at all the day before. She was focused on her goal and didn’t think to fix her mane and attracted a lot of attention she paid no heed to as she passed through the streets. When she approached the palace the guards simply stood aside to allow her passage. They knew Twilight and as such knew that when she looked like she did, nothing would stand in her way and it was best for anything that was stood in her way to move. Even things that weren’t capable of independent movement such as doors and furnishings moved as they were enveloped in her telekinetic field as she passed through the halls of the palace. She arrived at the throne room and finally allowed herself to take stock of her surroundings. Other than Princess Celestia, who was sat at the throne itself, and the guards she had with her, the room was empty. The guards at the gate had sent word to Celestia that Twilight was on her way, and she was “in one of those moods” as they had put it. Twilight stooped down on her forelegs in to a bow when her eyes met Princess Celestia’s.

“Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student.” Celestia said, keeping her voice light to avoid sparking another spontaneous reaction in the student in question. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“There’s something that’s been bothering me Princess. It’s been bothering me for a while now but I’ve never really had a chance to ask you about it.” Twilight replied as she stood up properly and took her eyes off the floor to look once more upon the Princess.

“You know I am always happy to answer any questions you have. Although I’m surprised you’ve found a problem you haven’t been able to research your way out of.” Princess Celestia said with a chuckle. She got up from the throne and walked down to where Twilight was standing and sat down, motioning for Twilight to do the same. “So what’s on your mind, my little pony?”

“Well…” Twilight began, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “I did try to research it. It’s been bugging me for a while so I’ve had plenty of time. I just couldn’t find any answers. I just can’t help but notice how the names of every place in Equestria is a pun about ponies and I was hoping you, as the Princess, could tell me why that’s the case.” Celestia surprised Twilight by giggling at the question.

“That, my student, is a very simple question with a very simple answer. If you must know…” Celestia trailed as she watched Twilight’s smile grow and her eyes sparkle at the thought of new knowledge. “If you really must know, me and Luna were trying to think of fun names for everything, and we just kept laughing at our own puns.” The sparkle left Twilight’s eyes and the smile changed to a frown. This was clearly not the answer she was expecting.

“Everything is a pun because you and Princess Luna were having a laugh and trying to come up with silly names?” she asked. Celestia nodded in response.

“Perhaps I should explain a little more. You’re aware of mine and Luna’s rise to power, are you not?” Celestia asked Twilight, who nodded.

“You rose up to defeat Discord and take Equestria back from him to bring peace and harmony to the land.”

“Indeed we did Twilight. Luna and myself took down Discord in a gruelling battle that left both of us weakened, and even though we were jubilant to defeated him, we both still had much sadness in our hearts over the hardships we had faced and the ponies we were unable to save. As Luna and I lay on the ground, exhausted after the fight, she said to me that we would probably have to rename everything now that Discord was defeated. He had named things randomly and absurdly, and he would even change the names of things for a joke. We wanted places to have their own names, that wouldn’t change, but we couldn’t really think of any. It was after a few minutes of thought that Luna came up with calling the capital city Canterlot and we shared a little giggle. It was such a relief to laugh after everything we had been through and we just kept suggesting puns to each other like Manehattan and Fillydelphia. Of course we didn’t name everything that day, as more settlements came and went over the years, but the naming pattern stuck. Even when Luna was gone I kept it up, as it was something we shared, and I thought she would want something we could laugh about together when she came back. So, my faithful student, does that answer your question?”

While Celestia had been explaining the story Twilight had sat and listened patiently. Her face changed as she reacted to it, but she didn’t speak a word. “I think it does indeed Princess.” Twilight said after a few more moments of silence. She was smiling again and this time she had gotten an answer she was happy with. “Thank you Princess Celestia.”

“Any time Twilight” Princess Celestia replied as she gave Twilight a small nuzzle. “Now I suggest you do something about your mane.” She added, smirking as she took in what a few hours of wonder and temporary insanity had done to Twilight.

“My mane?” Twilight replied, twisting her head in an effort to look at her own mane. The only thing this produced though was a few more twangs as her mane continued to pop out as Twilight became more stressed, albeit for a different reason.

“Relax Twilight, relax.” Princess Celestia said as her horn glowed slightly. She wrapped Twilight in a magical aura and fixed her mane for her. After a few moments it was back to it’s usual two tone self and Twilight was looking much calmer. “Now, when do you have to return to Ponyville?”

“Not for a few hours yet Princess. Rarity is taking care of Spike for me.”

“Do you want to stay here a little longer? It’s been too long since we just talked about things together hasn’t it?” Celestia asked.

“I would love to stay Princess.” Twilight said as her face brightened up again. The two of them stood up and headed out of the throne room and towards the gardens. “Princess Celestia?” Twilight enquired, causing Celestia to look over at her. “If I think of a good name, can I suggest it to you?”

“You’re more than welcome to do that my little pony, but Luna and myself have had thousands of years to come up with them. So good luck thinking of one we haven’t.” The two of them could be heard giggling as Twilight tried to come up with names Celestia and Luna hadn’t.

By the time Twilight had to go back to Ponyville, she still hadn’t thought of any new ones.

Author's Note

This is my second fic and it's just a short one shot I came up with when I thought about a logical answer to the question of "Just why is everything a horse pun?" I didn't want to have some kind of fourth wall breaking Hasbro based fic, and so came up with the idea that Luna and Celestia were just laughing with eachother as they named everything. If this is a fairly common idea then my apologies, but I've not seen anyone else do something like this.

Bonus points to whoever can tell me what actual cities I ponified.