Rainbow Dash: Unplugged

by Ack Sed

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 515

RD recounts all the exploits of the Harmony Squad they weren't able to put in the cartoon.

Dash is the technical consultant for an animated account of the Elements of Harmony's adventures. Unfortunately, she had to leave some of the better stuff out because it wouldn't have been appropriate for younger audiences. Fortunately, she'll tell you all about it when you ask… if you can believe it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-09 18:29:13 UTC

Introduction: That's A Wrap

"You too, BBBFF."

*click* The red RECORDING light flicked off. The sound engineer spoke to the actors in the studio through his board's mike. "And that's a wrap. Good job everyone!"

Later, the actors, some of the friendlier crew and the consultant, Ms. Rainbow Dash herself were relaxing in the break room. There was a wrap party being prepared, but for now they were resting. Dash had been unusually quiet the whole time.

"Man, why so down Ms. Dash? Sad it's ending?"

"Yeah, that and I'm going to be out of a job for a while!" she joked. After a moment, she continued, "Well, not just that. Look, I know this is pretty awesome for a filly's programme, but we've done so much more. Stuff we couldn't put in at all. Like that time with the Buttsushi."

"Butt... sushi."

Rainbow shook her head in disbelief. "I'm not even sure it happened myself. That weird."

"Hi Dash! What can I get you?" said Bob-Bon.

"Nothing right now, just grazing. Whoa." She was stopped short in front of the sweetshop's counter by the violently pink package atop it. It looked like some Neighponese counterpart of Pinkie had dipped a balloon in pink and green paint and tried to write all over it. "What the hay is this?"

"I think it's Neighpon. Arrived this morning." Bon-Bon reached under the counter to grab the shipping manifest. "But... But-tushi. No idea." The box began to glow and hop about.

"It's moving", said Bon-Bon in a tone of suppressed panic. "Why is it moving?"

The package burst open from its preservative magic. Brightly-coloured globules exploded out of it in a chorus of little cheers. The shop erupted into chaos. Rainbow looked down her muzzle at one that had landed dead-centre on her nose.

It looked like nothing more than a smear of tiny orange eggs. Before she could bring up her hoof to wipe it off, it reformed into a rough approximation of an ant.

And then it talked.

"PLEASE TO EAT US!"

"... then it crawled down to my mouth and tried to get me to eat it! It levered my lips open and everything!", finished Rainbow, blenching at the memory.

"...animated... flavoured ant eggs... that want to be eaten. Who thought that was a good idea?" The voice actors laughed and made various faces of disgust.

"Apparently it made sense to the Empress. Some flim-flammer said they'd go wild for it over here and Ponyville was the first test shipment." Rainbow laughed weakly. "I always got the weird ones." She stared off into the distance.

For a moment, they saw the wrinkles fade (not many, she still looked good for her age) and they saw, as if for the first time, Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty and doer (and instigator) of enough events for three ponies' lifetimes.

The actress who played Pinkie was the first to break the silence. "Well?"

"Huh?"

"You're not going to leave us hanging, are you?"

"I did say that, didn't I."

And she continued her story.