Chapters Canterlot Castle was mind-numbingly still. With the uppermost chambers completely devoid of life at this late hour, there was no general murmur of conversation regarding the everyday issues of Equestria, whether they be apple shortages in Ponyville or the suggestion of inconsequential changes to the official Royal Guard uniform. Only the gentle breeze echoing through every grand corridor fought to defeat this illusion of time coming to a halt.
The noiselessness was sickening; five consecutive nights had been allowed to pass by undisturbed, a totally unacceptable number in his eyes. But as the intruder poked his head around the second most sacred doorway in Equestria, the opportunity to change all that was presented to him on a golden platter.
Princess Luna stood regally on the modest balcony outside her equally modest chambers. Of course, this was the lifestyle she chose to lead nowadays. Healthy, clean, but humble. Bathed in the moonlight provided by the very orb which she rose to begin the night, she cut an impressive figure against the horizon.
But not for long.
The princess did not move, the only sign that she was still awake being the occasional swish of her hypnotic mane. Well, that and the cup of tea on the table beside her occasionally floating upwards, supported by her magic so she could silently sip its contents. Luna did not look at the cup while she drank, instead choosing to gaze endlessly into the cloudless sky.
Perfect. She won’t realise a thing until it’s too late.
The moment the mug touched the table again, he made his move. Creeping unnoticed across the room to the balcony proved all too easy thanks to the heavily carpeted floor muffling his mismatched feet. Now mere inches away, he produced a vial of a fine, white solid and reached over, slowly pouring the reagent into the liquid. The entire sample dissolved almost instantly.
His timing couldn’t have been better. Seconds later and the cup rose once more, and the Princess of the Night drank the spiked contents.
Luna gagged and spat so forcefully he wouldn’t be surprised if several of her teeth were now keeping the flower beds company in the palace gardens eighty feet below them. She spun around, breathing heavily with a fiery adrenaline that made her pupils blaze even more magnificently than normal. “Who goes there?” Her eyes narrowed. “Show yourself; your Princess commands you!”
But her assailant wasn’t there anymore. Instead he was now sat behind her on the balcony ledge, the spot he’d picked to teleport to at the exact moment Luna had turned around. Just when he estimated her tension to be at its peak, he touched her neck and quickly but softly drew a line across it with a pointed claw.
Luna screamed and whirled around once more, coming face to face with the aggressor…
“BAHAHAHA! Priceless! ” Discord almost fell off his perch. “Oh, my dear Luna, you do entertain me so!”
He burst into another fit of laughter upon seeing that he’d stunned Luna into a delightful silence. Finally, the realisation that she had been both manipulated into behaving in a very undignified manner and also outright tricked seemed to bring her to some of her senses . She scowled heavily as her breathing slowed. “Discord! What foolishness is this?”
The draconequus vanished and reappeared lying on her perfectly uncreased bed, stretching languidly in a melodramatic manner. “Foolishness?” Discord repeated innocently. “I prefer to call it playful chaos . Besides, is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to talk to my old friend Luna?”
A month had passed since his apparent reformation, the day when he’d gained his first friend in Fluttershy. Sticking around in Ponyville had provided light entertainment for a short time, but he’d quickly grown to find the combination of his new pegasus companion and the quiet town itself to make for an astoundingly boring lifestyle. Charming Celestia into letting him stay at Canterlot Castle for a while had been easier than he’d expected, although he had a hunch that her favourable decision had been influenced by her prediction that a new member of royalty would soon join the ranks.
Unsurprisingly, that prediction had come to pass a week ago. Indeed, Discord had observed the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle from the front row of the throne room among honoured guests. How he’d endured Prince Blueblood’s dolphin laugh all day without turning him into a tuna sandwich, Discord still wasn’t sure, but at least Celestia had allowed him to design the appearance and persona of the unicorn into whom he transformed, along with inventing his own backstory. Later in the evening he’d especially enjoyed eavesdropping on a conversation between two particular mares about him, mainly because he’d earlier told one of them he was the menu’s fish course, and the other that he was actually a plumber who had no idea what was going on. His cutie mark had changed randomly throughout the ceremony, although at one point Luna had pulled him up after catching his fake flank depicting Celestia on fire.
As for his view of the newly appointed Princess herself...to him, at least, not much had changed. The development was interesting at best. To say it was unprecedented would be a lie, but Discord was nevertheless going to ensure he remained quietly updated on Twilight’s life. A minority did not agree with her holding the prestigious title, and this, combined with the likelihood of her making early diplomatic errors due to inexperience, could lead to some chaotic opportunities.
Regardless, what matters right now is that everything is just so much better here; after all, getting on Luna’s royal nerves is a top priority.
He guessed that his target was now wearing the desired irritated expression, although it was difficult to tell with his eyes closed. “Remove yourself from my chambers,” he heard Luna state above him. “And I don’t recall ‘playful chaos’ being an item present on your list of permitted magical acts.”
Discord groaned loudly and sprang up from the bed. “Have you seen the pathetic scroll your sister calls a list?” With all the gentleness of a pouncing Timberwolf, he dug a claw inside his ear and poked around for a few moments. A rolled up piece of parchment emerged, which he allowed to unfurl in his hand. All five lines of it. “I mean, you might as well ban me from eating paper! Celestia’s even written the thing in an oversized font just so it looks bigger than it is!” Discord went to stuff it indignantly back into his ear, but then thought better and ate it instead to emphasise his previous point.
He saw Luna’s mouth curl into an amused smile. Then her face returned to the stoic impassiveness practiced daily by royalty. “You should think yourself lucky that my sister and I allow you the freedom to so much as move,” she said firmly. “Never mind poison my beverages.”
“Poison? ” Discord mimicked again. He scoffed and waved his lion paw dismissively. “You’re overreacting, dear Princess.” He coughed up the same vial, caught it and shook the last few remaining particles right in front of her face. “Just half a hoof of ascorbic acid.”
“Acid ?!” Luna gasped in disbelief. “You…you could have decomposed my mouth!”
Discord tutted loudly and wagged a claw inches from her nose. “Now, now, let’s not get all prejudiced. Why is it that whenever anypony hears the word ‘acid’, they suddenly start squealing like their manes have been drowned in the stuff?” He chuckled at Luna’s suitably confused face.
Now it’s time to break that pathetically thin layer of patience and awaken her rage. Just like old times…
“This lovely powder I added to your drink is actually a very important mineral which everypony needs, unenlightened one. A source of Vitamin C, to be precise. Here, let me show you!”
Discord snapped his eagle talons and chaos ensued.
Princess Luna suddenly wished she’d gone back to bed.
As if rejecting her wishful thoughts, the sheets from that bed flew off and began to weave themselves into a new shape, whilst the mattress hardened to create a sturdy work table. Discord grabbed a nearby banana and used it as a foot pump to raise this new surface to a comfortable height.
Her other belongings were morphing in all sorts of bizarre ways: the teapot she had just been using lost its lid and straightened out into a transparent beaker, a quill minding its own business turned into a spatula and her prized painting, the beautiful work of art depicting Celestia and herself at peace together, decided to grow legs and scuttled across the room to leap happily onto the recently created worktop, acting as a makeshift tripod.
This is absurd! What is that cretin planning?
The bed sheets finished their transformation. They had crafted themselves into a colourful laboratory coat, which Discord then donned along with a pair of goggles that five seconds ago had been two separate light bulbs. The draconequus curled his lower body upwards to rub all four limbs together. “I just love a bit of midnight science!”
Luna gritted her teeth but did not let him see. “Stop!” she commanded. “Return my chambers to –”
“Quiet, quiet!” Discord whispered with glee as a zip materialised over her mouth to clamp it shut. “I’m doing stuff .”
Calmly, the Princess vapourised the zip with her magic. “Would you like me to inform my sister of what you have wrought? I am sure Twilight Sparkle and her friends have some time and the Elements of Harmony at their disposal.”
Her power play didn’t work. Discord shrugged, busy pouring water from a bottle all over the floor so he could turn it into a Bunny Burner. “Go ahead. Slaughter me for trying to teach you something useful.” He inhaled deeply before blasting his nostrils over the beaker, resulting in an undignified mess landing within. “So, you just start with a little glucose and hydrogenate it to sorbitol, then…”
Luna’s ears and eyes lost track of Discord’s words and limbs respectively, the latter flailing in a seemingly random manner yet somehow always managing to do what he wanted. Halfway through the bewildering experiment Discord gained a pair of flip flops, and at one point Luna swore he gave the spatula a name.
A stray thought wondered how the God of Chaos could possibly know so much about such a structured and linear practice.
She shook her head to snap herself out of her reverie. This was neither the time nor the place for such irrelevance. Especially when that place was her room disguised as an idiot’s alchemy lab. “Discord, you will halt this nonsense now, lest I –”
“And TA-DA! Ascorbic acid!” Discord played hot potato with a second vial containing the same white powder. He then popped off the lid with his single tooth and threw the contents straight into her face. “See? Completely harmless.”
Luna’s composure began to crack. “Discord. ” Traces of the Royal Canterlot Voice crept involuntarily into her speech. “You shall rectify your folly immediately. ”
Mumbling something about the potential dangers of scurvy, at last Discord sagged and everything began reluctantly shuffling back to its original position, turning back to normal so slowly it was as though her possessions had developed a grudge against their old forms. The spatula waved at Discord, to which he replied “Oh, goodnight to you too, Lyra!”
Having magically cleaned her face of the acid while this was happening, Luna seized control of the situation the moment her room looked like nopony had ever touched it. “State your intention or leave. ” Her voice was still thick with anger. She swallowed and quelled it; if Discord knew he was getting to her, she might as well paint an inviting red target on her flank.
“So formal , Princess.” He grinned, causing Luna to cringe inwardly. Evidently her growing temper had not escaped him. “You don’t need to be nervous around me. After all, we’re the best of friends now!” He casually flicked her mane, forcing her to hold back from striking him for his outrageous disrespect.
Luna quickly backed away. “Leave, Discord! I must guard the night!”
“Yes, that’s another thing with you and your daytime sibling: working twelve hours a day, every day.” Discord floated outside to the balcony and spread his stubby arms wide. “Take a holiday! Go somewhere...nice .”
The draconequus landed softly and gave Luna a terrible smile. “I heard the moon is nice this time of year.”
Luna’s blood boiled. Her powerful horn sparked with excess energy, every second now a battle to keep herself in check.
I will not let him win, nor will I harm him. I will not let him win, nor will I harm him…
This thought was the single barrier preventing her magic’s dam from bursting and channelling every last bit into Discord’s ugly body. “Get out,” she hissed.
A pause stunted the tension.
“...Oh, alright then.” Discord clicked his talons again and he disappeared.
The Princess blinked. Was that it?
Alas, no. “Hey, heads up!” a voice shouted from the beautiful night sky. Or rather, it had been beautiful, at least until a silhouette of Discord’s talking face had manifested on the moon. Luna cursed his mockery of her very symbol, but knew this was only an illusion; even the God of Chaos didn’t wield the power to teleport at will into space.
His physical form is still in the immediate vicinity...I cannot allow his patronising theatrics to continue!
“Ahhh, it’s brilliant up here!” Discord called, an eerily accurate echo in his voice for one merely pretending to be on the moon. The shadow of his face grew smaller to allow space for a projection of Discord’s entire body, which started quite literally moonwalking. “Join me, Luna! Get your precious sister to send you up here!”
She shook with undiluted rage. Luna could feel it now. The darkness that still lurked inside her.
She hadn’t agreed with Celestia. When her sister had uttered the words “Discord” and “free” in the same sentence, Luna had outright refused. The simple thought of him roaming around stirred too many bitter memories. But Celestia had insisted on her consent before acting, suggesting that the mare who had once assisted Luna in practicing modern speech, a pegasus called Fluttershy, might tame him. Deep down she knew that the sun goddess’s reasoning had made sense, but in a way Luna still wanted none of it. She would never trust Discord.
Finally, after spending weeks suffering under the thorny decision of either guaranteeing the continuation of Equestria’s long-standing peace or putting faith in Celestia, Luna had chosen the latter. How could she not? After all that she had done to break her sister’s heart…
My sister, who was given no choice but to banish me for a millennium because of my selfishness and jealousy. My sister, who apologised to me for the thousand years I deservedly spent alone. My sweet, sweet sister...
Discord’s shadow morphed into a silhouette of Luna’s face. “You know, Princess, it’s so good here that I might just stay a little while longer. Let’s say…oh, I don’t know…a thousand years?”
“DISCORD, THOU SHALT FEEL MY WRATH! ”
Chapter 1 – Royal Purple, Shocking Pink
Chapter 1: Royal Purple, Shocking Pink
Spike sighed happily after spotting Simultaneous Spell Casting filed under T . His trusty stepladder was the one for this job. Climbing it posed the regular problem of wobbling all over the place, although by now that precariousness had actually become an endearing factor about his work. He stretched carefully at the top, delicately grasped the book between his claws and removed it from its wrong chronology. These were thousands of pages that didn’t even belong in this section; for some reason Twilight had shoved it within Equestrian History.
Now came his favourite part: the Ladder Shuffle. Spike positioned the book under his chin so that the only things keeping the huge text from crashing to the floor were his rounded stomach and the underside of his face. Both hands now grasping the top of the ladder, he leapt sideways again and again with bouts of giddy laughter that threatened to dislodge the book from between his body parts.
He made it to Casting Techniques without incident and savoured replacing the tome correctly under S . Spike jumped straight to the ground and admired his handiwork before sighing happily again.
He loved doing Twilight’s chores.
There was nothing more satisfying than feeling his best friend’s cuddles and hearing her praises after an honest day’s work. He cooked, cleaned, and maintained the library for her. He supported her and he loved her. In return she housed him, mothered him and always found time to spend with him. She supported him and she loved him. Life was good as Princess Twilight’s number one assistant.
Being Rarity’s little Spikey-Wikey helped too, of course.
Spike smiled. “Well, better go wash these dishes,” he said, half to himself, half to the recently dinner-laden plates which Twilight had polished off in record time before hastily complimenting his egg-scrambling skills and forgetting to shut the front door on her way out. Off to Quills & Sofas to buy her weight in feathers again, no doubt.
Old habits certainly died hard with the new alicorn. By now it was common knowledge that Celestia had long been subtly training Twilight for her new role as Princess. Already with such an esteemed reputation throughout Equestria, now bolstered further due to Celestia hoof-picking her for royalty, Twilight could do virtually anything she wanted. Yet the lure of power and influence did not tempt her, as she chose to remain in the same old library in the same old Ponyville, still preferring to devour any book her frighteningly intelligent eyes hadn’t set upon rather than plunge into the role and try to win the population’s heart.
Abnormal thirsts for knowledge aside, Spike liked to think he understood why Twilight insisted on leading a relatively peaceful life here. True, near enough anypony could figure out that her modest demeanour was not the ideal basis upon which a pony could grow into the greatest socialite who had ever lived, but there was more to it than just nerves. Spike was sure that the real reasons for her hesitance of moving forward did not stem from the looming responsibilities of tasks ahead, but rather from a fear of leaving so many things behind.
Despite hailing from Canterlot, Ponyville was her – no, their true home. The greatest group of friends anypony could ever want had been waiting right here for them, and they were all still blooming from each other’s experiences and friendship. It was simple, and it was fun. It was home .
Now in the kitchen, a dull pang of craving for ice cream prodded at the young dragon’s mind as he filled the sink with water. Spike ignored it. He had long since learned not to give in to his subconscious so easily; the seemingly harmless action of chomping on an innocent snack might only serve as the first step down an extremely slippery slope, at the bottom of which awaited a destroyed Ponyville. This dark memory was why he never ate without Twilight or at least one of her close friends around anymore.
Ugh…not that again. I’ve felt guilty enough about kidnapping Rarity to last me even myunfairly long lifetime. She’s forgiven me, anyway. I think. I hope so. Gah! Come on Spike, something happy, something happy…uh…
Aha! He and Twilight planned to embark on their monthly stargazing session tomorrow. Despite the fact that he found observing constellations about as fun as what it physically entailed – staring at specks of light for hours at a time through an uncomfortable eyehole – those nights were rare chances for him to show off his smorgasbord of skills in all but a few hours. Namely, preparing sandwiches and cupcakes to bring so Twilight could eat at her leisure; recording notes and sketching lines on a map for her with meticulous accuracy; listening to her essays of background information and making appropriate comments when he wasn’t actually interested; it was hard work, but he’d do anything for Twilight. The sparkling jewel he always received for his efforts didn’t hurt either.
Spike’s attention towards the dishes continued to dwindle, his mind wandering as he deliberated whether the lilac mare would feel more assured if he made a checklist to check that the last checklist’s checks regarding checks on her telescope were all double checked. Thanks to being lost in this near-unfathomable train of thought, Spike jumped out of his scales when an almighty crash ripped through the library.
He cried out once in surprise, then again when the plate he’d been holding slipped from his grip before finally releasing the loudest one of all after helplessly watching it smash into hundreds of irreparable pieces on the floor. “Oh, for–!”
The kitchen was the only place in the library where no trace of the tree’s rough but natural surface remained, instead being smothered as it was by slippery tiling. A dull, claustrophobic shade of green dominated, which Spike remembered Rarity once describing as “old dragon vomit.” After having a good laugh at the white unicorn’s uncharacteristic crudeness, Twilight had reasoned that the room was otherwise a massive fire hazard. Her caution was well-founded, but it was of little consolation to Spike when the reduced risk of setting things alight was merely substituted for a hugely increased chance of accidentally trashing the place.
Deciding to pass off the noise as Rainbow Dash not looking where she was going during a routine stunt session, Spike mumbled grumpily to himself in his search for a broom. “Been six weeks since I last broke something...had a record going. Wasn’t even my fault! Stupid rainbow pegasus…”
“Oh, is Dashie here too?”
A flash of pink and the unmistakable pitch of voice very quickly told Spike the identity of his new visitor, but it didn’t stop him from automatically uttering a fourth yell of fright. He recovered and puffed a relieved sigh before repeatedly poking the face of Equestria’s biggest partygoer. “Geez, Pinkie, don’t scare me like that. What are you doing here?”
Pinkie Pie appeared not to be listening, instead taking more of an interest in the remains of the plate he had dropped. “Were you playing Squish the Dish? I love that game!” Sweeping up a recently washed plate he had left out to dry, Pinkie wasted no time in smashing it over her head.
“Pinkie!” It was a cry of worry before annoyance, something which subconsciously pleased the dragon, but his concern rapidly evaporated after he heard the tell-tale sound of the element she represented. True to form, the unscathed pony was giggling with joy at the mess she’d made. “Pinkie, stop! Now I’ve got even more to sweep up.” He made it to the broom a minute later than planned and snatched it up irritably.
Pinkie’s face fell as she seemed to realise Spike hadn’t been playing Squish the Dish at all. “Oh…I’m sorry, Spike.” Then that trademark, inane smile plastered her face with optimism. “Here, I’ll do it. You go and handle the door.” The earth pony took the broom between her teeth and set about madly sailing from one side of the kitchen to the other, somehow not stepping on any sharp leftovers while also brushing them everywhere in a very random fashion. Her method was unorthodox, to say the least, but this was hardly surprising. Spike decided to leave her to it.
His previously ignored question about the reason for her visit rose to the dragon’s throat again, but then got stuck. “Hang on. What do you mean, I should go and handle the door? What door?”
“De fwunt wun,” came her broom-afflicted response. Spike blinked twice, leading to Pinkie Pie rolling her eyes and jabbing a hoof in the direction of the library’s main entrance room. “De fwunt wun!” she repeated, as though saying exactly the same thing would bring clarity.
With a shake of the head, Spike jogged out of the kitchen and into the main room where he’d been reorganising books earlier. He froze. “Crud.”
In hindsight it was very obvious that Pinkie had been trying to say “The front one.” Unfortunately, this description was no longer accurate because the door wasn’t attached to the wall anymore, currently acting as more of a block of wood lying in the middle of the room rather than an entrance. Spike’s disbelief that Pinkie Pie, even considering her normally inexplicable feats, could blast a door from its hinges unaided was quickly explained by the presence of her Party Cannon erected proudly outside, ten feet from the arching hole in the wall. A cannonball so colourful it was painful to look at rocked casually in a corner.
Confetti draped over every surface imaginable. Books strewn everywhere. Twilight bound to be back soon. This isn’t good…
Spike wanted to march into the kitchen and throttle the pink pony, but every second he spent demanding why she’d felt the need to make such an entrance was a second wasted when Twilight would surely disown him if she returned to this disaster. He’d just turned and taken the first step back towards the kitchen, intending to grudgingly enlist Pinkie’s help in cleaning, when he stopped dead.
His ears had picked up on a voice he usually loved hearing. It was a voice that filled him with safety and warmth. But he didn’t want to hear it today. Not now. “Spike!” came her call from outside. “I’m home! Why is Pinkie’s big cannon thing out here?”
Spike briefly thought about legging it and leaving Pinkie to quite literally pick up the pieces, but his brain wasn’t cooperating with his limbs. He’d never make it anyway.
Twilight Sparkle trotted an upbeat rhythm into the library, the spoils of her trip magically levitating a few hoof lengths ahead of her. She opened her mouth as if to speak again, but nothing managed to come out. Her face twisted in confusion; Spike guessed this was a realisation that she hadn’t gone through a door, something that would have made him laugh under any other circumstances.
Too bad that so much as smirking would be suicide. Oh, Celestia save me, she’s getting that murderous look...!
He actually heard Twilight’s teeth grind. Her breathing became unsteady and a few seconds later, her gaze inevitably fixed on him. She walked with the hooves of a mouse but the aura of a storm towards him, not hesitating to step on fallen books. Her piercing eyes and almost slow-motion approach paralysed him with fear as she loomed over him, rooting him to the spot with two oceans of blazing purple. “T-Twi…I can expl–”
“Where is she?” the alicorn hissed.
Just happy that the first three words out of her mouth hadn’t been “Get out forever,” Spike regained control of his muscles and pointed nervously in the direction of the kitchen. Twilight walked away without another word.
No sooner was she out of sight when he heard Pinkie greet Twilight as though they had bumped into each other during a leisurely walk. The lilac mare said something Spike couldn’t make out, before Pinkie replied “I’m helping Spike clean up the mess we made together. It was great fun! Do you wanna – wait, that tickles!”
She was still giggling madly when she floated back into the room with a purple glow surrounding her entire body. After re-entering behind Pinkie, Twilight at least had the decency to set her down gently, a sign which Spike hoped to mean that she wasn’t about to go as insane as the time she forgot to write to Princess Celestia.
Hoping to appease her early, Spike hurried forward and hugged Twilight’s left foreleg. “I missed you.” Her glare did not falter. Spike felt a trickle of sweat roll down his face. “Y’know, I had nothing to do with this. I only dropped a plate because Pinkie’s massive cannon explosion did the rest.” Still no change graced him. “You gotta believe me, Twilight! Uh…did I say I missed you?”
To his immense surprise, a small smile slowly spread across her face as she returned the hug and shielded him protectively with a wing. “I know you didn’t do this, Spike. You never would.”
She turned back to Pinkie, who appeared to have grown bored of conversation and was now looking dubiously at a book called The Wonders of Pi. “Some ponies really need to learn how to spell,” she quipped.
Any remaining tension in the room deflated as alicorn and dragon laughed together. Twilight’s horn shimmered, taking the book away from an indifferent Pinkie to deposit it on a splintered shelf. “So what do I owe this pleasure, Pinkie? Any particular reason you’ve decided to blow apart the library today?”
“Well, duh. I’m throwing a party, silly!”
Twilight frowned. “And it never occurred to you to inform the hosts in advance?”
“Nope!”
The Princess’s left eye twitched. Not wanting to risk his best friend swinging into a scary mood again, Spike quickly took over. “Pinkie, there’s gotta be a reason you cannonballed the front door and loaded that thing with enough confetti to choke an Ursa. What’s the occasion?”
The earth pony beamed at the pair of them. “I have no idea. It was just my Pinkie Sense.”
Twilight looked ready to explode. “Your Pinkie Sense told you to ruin my house?” She howled in frustration and restlessly hoofed at the floor, as if she was about to charge down her friend. “I don’t believe you sometimes!”
“No, my Pinkie Sense only told me to come here,” she answered defensively. “I got three winks of my right eye, then two lots of twitchy tail, and finally an urge to make four dozen chocolate cupcakes topped with extra cream. That obviously means I’ve gotta go see Twilight, and I just assumed it meant that you needed a PARRRRTAY!”
Spike and Twilight exchanged a resigned look. In a tone reminiscent of Rarity trying to stay composed under a mountain of pressure, the alicorn said “Pinkie, I’m sorry but the last thing on my mind right now is organising a big get together. I’ve just got so much studying on Equestrian politics to do, and –”
“Wait!” Pinkie cried. “I feel another one coming on!” Her right eye twitched spasmodically three times, her tail vibrated madly in two sets of blurred motion and finally she licked her lips thoughtfully. “Mmm…cupcakes.”
Just by glancing at Twilight’s face Spike knew that the same conclusion had hit her simultaneously. “That was exactly the description you just gave us for needing to come to the library,” he said, confused. “But you’re already here!” Twilight hummed in agreement.
“No no no no no, that was when I wanted to make chocolate cupcakes,” Pinkie answered happily. “This time I really wanna bake a huge tray of strawberry ones!”
By this point anypony would be able to tell that Twilight had reached the end of her variable tether. Spike’s extra receptiveness to her feelings cautioned him to do something fast. “And that means…?”
“I gotta get everypony round at Twilight’s house,” Pinkie breathed, exhaling slowly as if she’d just been told the meaning of life. “Fluttershy, Rarity, AJ, Dashie…everypony! It’s really important.”
Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Important?”
“Yup. I got the same Pinkie Sense three days before Discord first broke free, and again on the same day Queen Crys-a-lot crashed your brother’s wedding.”
“Queen Chrysalis …” Twilight mumbled. Then her volatile air vanished to be steadily replaced by reluctant curiosity. “Hmm. I must admit, the fact that you received these premonitions just before major disaster struck, twice for that matter, does give evidence pointing towards this being pretty vital.”
Never thinking that his best friend would sacrifice valuable study time simply to follow the ramblings of a serial nutter, Spike started to wonder how well he knew Twilight after all. “You’re going to put faith in a Pinkie Sense? The last time you did that, you both ended up getting chased by an angry Hydra.”
Twilight chuckled at the memory. “True, but we can’t risk another catastrophe endangering Equestria.” She nodded in self-assurance. “Alright, Pinkie Pie, we’ll trust your instincts one more time.”
Even Pinkie looked surprised. “Okie dokie! I’ll fetch everypony and bring them here.” She waved and sped off at a tremendous velocity, but Twilight was quick enough to create a malleable yet impenetrable barrier right over the destroyed doorway. Pinkie promptly collided with it, leaving her face glued inside the shimmering purple jelly.
“Hold it.” Twilight approached a laughing Pinkie Pie, who had managed to wrench herself free. “Two things: one, we’re going to split the workload. I’ll knock at Rarity’s house and Fluttershy’s cottage to get them, while you go to Sweet Apple Acres for Applejack. As for Rainbow Dash…well, you know as well as I do she could be anywhere. If you see her, make sure you get her to come here. Got it?”
“Yes sir, ma’am sir!” Pinkie made another break for freedom and smashed into the barrier again. Her friend impatiently dragged her out. “This thing’s spongy!”
“I haven’t told you the other thing yet.” Twilight’s face darkened. “Two, if your Pinkie Sense has informed you wrongly about this forthcoming disaster, my next visit to Sugarcube Corner might involve a Parasprite and cannonballs flying through windows. Am I understood?”
Pinkie saluted. “Roger.” Then she added, “As long as the cannonballs are stuffed with cake icing.” She looked expectantly at Twilight, who sighed and ceased her flow of magic to the archway. The pink earth pony hugged her, patted Spike far too hard on the head and at last succeeded in galloping away at high speed.
Spike couldn’t help a smile as he watched her disappear on the horizon. “Well, you can’t say she doesn’t keep things interesting.”
A similar smile defeated Twilight’s obvious will to remain annoyed at Pinkie. She laughed softly. “You’re right there, Spike. I’m glad she’s our friend.” A small silence followed until the mare rustled his scales. “And I’m glad you’re my friend, too.”
You always say that before you ask me to do some pain-in-the-neck task.
She continued stroking him – which was admittedly very nice – for several seconds. “My very best friend. Which is why I’d appreciate it you’d clear all of this up while I’m out.”
Oh, for Celestia’s sake…
“But Twilight, this is ridiculous! Your magic would make everything a hundred times quicker.” In retaliation to her unfair petting tactics, he gazed at her with puppy eyes and pouted.
With a shake of the head, she trotted to the spot where the entrance had once stood. “No can do, I’m afraid. Fluttershy’s cottage isn’t far, but Rarity’s boutique is quite a trek.”
“Then teleport or fly or something!”
“Spike, if I used teleportation as my only means of travel then I’d probably start putting on weight. I don’t think I get enough exercise as it is, what with my studying and all. And I’m still not all that confident with my wings, but don’t worry; Rainbow Dash practically begged me to start accepting lessons from her soon.” A unique spark flashed in her eyes. “Besides, I don’t want my number one assistant to get rusty now, do I?”
Flattery won’t get you anywhere, your Highness.
“Wait!” As a last ditch attempt, he tried to bring up an actually valid point. “If I tidy all this up now, I won’t have much time to prepare for our stargazing night tomorrow. I like everything to be perfect for you!”
She hesitated, giving Spike a twinge of hope that instantly faded when she said, “I hate to admit it, but I don’t think we’re going to have time for that now. Especially if Pinkie is right about this looming disaster.” As if that wasn’t bad enough, she continued, “Hey, listen. I’ll give my helpful Spike a bright shiny gem if he does this for me. How does that sound?”
Her voice was genuine and her words sincere. That was the problem.
She…she thinks she has to bribe me so I’ll do as she asks? No, Twilight, I take it all back! You don’t have to give me the gem; I’ll do whatever you want!
This entire speech was halfway through being processed from thoughts to spoken sentences when Twilight seemed to take his short muteness as an answer. “I think that shocked expression means yes.”
She giggled, a noise which had mutated into a painful sound to the dragon’s young ears. Sensing a familiar glow spreading throughout his body, Spike realised she was bidding him goodbye with a gentle dose of relaxed magic. “Well, see you later Spike. Don’t forget to clean the kitchen!” Twilight Sparkle didn’t depart with quite the same haste as Pinkie Pie before her, but watching her slowly fade out of sight seemed to drag ten times longer.
A pit of sadness welled up inside Spike and his eyes brimmed with tears. Did she really believe she had to resort to bribery to garner his favour? Had he truly been so lax in showing his appreciation for her? When was the last time he’d reminded her that he loved her?
Forcing himself to get up and start cleaning took an enormous amount of inner strength. The single driving force behind his renewed efforts was the knowledge that not dealing with this now would only call his loyalty into even further question. He decided it would be easier if he swept the kitchen first; getting smaller tasks out of the way would leave him better mentally equipped to focus on the main room afterwards.
And when Twilight returns to a spotless library with her friends, I’ll tell her how much she means to me. I’ll tell her every day, just like she tells me.
He arrived in the kitchen and fought off another wave of hopelessness as he surveyed the extent of the damage. Pinkie had only made things worse in here. It was as though her aim had been to scatter every shard as far as physically possible from one another.
There were smashed plates littering danger all over the kitchen floor, Twilight thought she needed to bribe him in order to keep his friendship, they probably weren’t going stargazing…and he still couldn’t eat any ice cream. Spike sighed sadly as he picked up the saliva-coated broom.
He hated doing Twilight’s chores.
Another glorious day gave Canterlot the atmosphere that it was competing to be the best city in the world. The cheery disposition of the ponies going about their daily lives was palpable, as though the sun’s rays contained pure happiness which burst upon them shining onto the lucky citizens below.
Princess Celestia thought it a shame that this mood did not likewise pervade the castle. Although the enormous ball of fire that she raised each morning perked up the ponies over whom she ruled, she herself could not muster the disguise of contentedness. Last night she had awoken to hear her sister bellowing in the old voice, and had only arrived just in time to prevent Nightmare Moon’s persona from infecting Luna once again.
She should have known that Discord would fall into old habits before long. Her sister had endlessly attempted to convince Celestia that freeing him of his stone prison would cause nothing but regret sometime in the future; she had been proven correct within the month. Watching Luna become plagued with so much anger and bitterness mere hours ago had been heartbreaking, and frankly very frightening. Celestia counted her blessings that she’d been able to pacify her sister’s rage before it was unleashed upon the whole of Equestria.
The Princess of the Night had refused to come out of her chambers since, crying that she remained unfit to rule and should be locked away for another thousand years. There was no entity, living or otherwise, that would force Celestia to put herself or her sister through that loneliness ever again, but if Discord was still capable and, more worryingly, still actually prepared to test a Princess’s patience for his own amusement, then circumstances could not be allowed to stand. Something had to change.
After relenting in her futile attempts to comfort Luna, Celestia had spent all morning devising a plan of action. This design had rapidly evolved into something far larger than she had ever imagined her mind to be able to summon, combining the resolution of many national concerns and also the bearing of her long-awaited wishes for Equestria’s future.
The notion that just seven hectic days separated the coronation of the mare Celestia had quietly guided for years and, if she deemed to start today, setting so many of her other plans into motion seemed ridiculous, almost laughable, yet there would be no better opportunity than this.
It is essential that nopony discovers my intentions before they come to pass. Not my incompetent advisors. Not my dear sister. Nopony. Even my plans for the new Princess are interwoven, and I thought I would never raise the sun on a day when I could offer Twilight Sparkle the ultimate choice she must now face. This course of action almost seems too good to be true.
But true it was, and there was no reason to delay. Her horn glowed, commanding a quill and a fresh piece of parchment to align in front of her. Carefully considering the wording of her request, Princess Celestia began to write.
Chapter 2 – Why, Fluttershy?
Chapter 2: Kindness Unwelcome
“So, um…may I preen your wings again?”
“Just the once was fine, thank you.”
“Ok. Or I could gather a choir of robins to sing for you.”
Twilight took a controlled breath. “The parliament of owls hooting before was catchy enough. I don’t need anything else.”
“But, um, are you sure you don’t need help walking? You’ve been –”
“No , Fluttershy!”
Carousel Boutique finally coming into sight felt like a gift greater than the wings she’d developed a week ago, her new features which were also the reason why Fluttershy was currently acting like a voluntary slave. Ever since the coronation, the terribly submissive pegasus had treated Twilight with overbearing respect and was suffocating her underneath a mountain of munificent but unnecessary offers.
Twilight would have almost enjoyed this attention if it wasn’t so obviously fuelled by pure obligation. This fact alone was enough to strain their friendship to a lethal breaking point; Fluttershy’s interminable kindness was actually very upsetting to Twilight. Dictated as she was by her anxious mind, this sadness slowly devolved into anger, leading to the alicorn yelling more harshly than she intended to firmly turn Fluttershy down. Then, of course, the pegasus believed that her efforts were inadequate and thus strived to sacrifice more next time.
A vicious cycle of the worst kind. I know what the problem is. So why can’t I bring myself to just ask her to stop?
By the time the boutique was within stone-bucking distance, Twilight had deteriorated into stark depression. Fluttershy, an acutely sensitive mare, didn’t need long to recognise this and jittered nervously beside her. “Oh no, am I doing something wrong? I’m sorry…I’d give you a hug to make it up to you, but touching royalty would be so disrespectful.”
Twilight knew it was a huge mistake to ignore this opportunity to initiate a hug herself and relieve the brittle atmosphere, but that’s exactly what she did. Aware as she was that this harmful decision would only breed more sorrow, Twilight could not overcome the part of her mind which silently relished in the loneliness. Her eyes burned with fluid as she raised a hoof to knock on Rarity’s lavish front door.
“Please, let me get that for you!” Fluttershy bowed, beamed forcibly at her and tapped the polished oak with such gentleness, Twilight doubted that territorial Opal had been disturbed. To her surprise, Rarity’s business voice promised to be with them in a moment and the sound of practiced, rhythmic hooves on her undoubtedly spotless floor echoed through the door.
Whatever she was doing in her requested moment, Rarity seemed to finish it and the door swung open with a graceful flourish. Since every one of her regular customers knew it was absolutely fine to enter without warning during her opening hours, the unicorn was probably expecting a new potential client. “Good afternoon, and welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is – oh, it’s you two lovely mares!”
After giving both of them a quick squeeze, Rarity’s more relaxed tone engaged as she explained, “I’m awfully sorry, but I am simply drowning in paperwork and there is a ruby-encrusted dress to which I must attend soon. You’re both very welcome to come in, but I’m afraid I cannot afford to stray into other activity at the moment. Perhaps you could judge my latest designs while I work?”
When the only response she received was a horrified gasp from Fluttershy, one likely born of her unacceptable familiarity towards Twilight, Rarity finally seemed to latch onto the unfortunate aura of her guests. “Is something the matter, my dears? I sense a certain…tension.”
The pause on this occasion was completely silent. An agonising period passed wherein nothing happened, before Twilight spotted Rarity’s deep blue eyes widen in her peripheral vision. Despite seeing her friend close to tears, Rarity managed a genuine smile and gently raised the Princess’s downcast face with a manicured hoof. “My mistake. Ignore everything I just said; I can give up all the time in the world to talk, Twilight.”
The designer’s heartfelt and unforced generosity lifted her spirits slightly, but the serious reason for visiting the boutique in the first place wouldn’t budge from the forefront of Twilight’s mind. Although she wanted nothing more than to collapse into Rarity’s sympathetic hooves and cry, time was a pressing factor, and right now none could be spared for therapy.
I promise I’ll work things out with you later, Fluttershy. It’s just about picking the right moment when I know you’ll understand.
Twilight wiped away the stinging sensation in her eyes until she was certain no trace of unhappiness remained. “Thank you, Rarity, but we can’t come in. In fact, we need you to come with us.”
Now it was Rarity’s turn to look hesitant. She bit her lip before responding, “Truly? To where?”
“The library. It’s very urgent.”
“Is it little Spikey-Wikey? Is he pining after a cuddle?” When Twilight shook her head, Rarity began shifting restlessly on the spot. “It’s just, so much stitching to do, you understand? And Sweetie Belle, she sometimes invites her friends, those Crusaders , over here while I’m gone without asking permission.” She laughed nervously. “You know how excitable they all are...”
With a worried backward glance into the boutique cementing the unicorn’s concern of leaving her shop unattended, Twilight could see she was going to need more encouragement. “The fate of Equestria may be at stake.”
Her simple statement had the desired effect. “Oh! In that case, I can hardly refuse, can I?” She giggled lightly. “Please give me a moment. I must inform Sweetie Belle that I’ll be away for a while.” After summoning a crisp piece of paper and a pen that left glittering sapphire dust along the ink lines it traced, Rarity scrawled a quick but damask note before magically gluing it to a wall in plain sight. “She’s napping,” the unicorn explained to her friends’ questioning expressions.
With a smile and audible rejuvenation that reflected her improved mood, Twilight asked, “Are we ready?”
“One more thing, darling.” Rarity quietly focused, her pearly white teeth slightly bared and eyes shut fast in concentration. Her horn sparked once, twice, before an eruption of magic suddenly exploded from its tip and engulfed her entire house. Twilight and Fluttershy were taken aback; usually only very precise matters involving her delicate craft were handled by Rarity’s magic, so seeing her perform such a voluminous spell was as surprising as it was impressive.
Before either of them could ask exactly what she had done, a somewhat dizzy Rarity spoke. “I’ve…been practicing…that one,” she managed between heavy panting. “It protects all of my dresses from minor scratches, burns, stains and such. Goodness, how it tires me…”
Rarity staggered as she drew herself up to her full height, trying to maintain both her balance and distinguished posture. Deciding to leave her friend’s pride intact by not suggesting that she should have cast the spell instead, Twilight congratulated Rarity with a simple wink.
If we return on foot, a certain pegasus is probably going to offer me breathing assistance. No, walking back is out of the question. I guess Spike’s going to see his crush earlier than he expected!
Twilight quickly interlocked hooves with her companions and, before Fluttershy could get over being graced with a Princess’s physical contact, she teleported the trio back to the library.
Because of the likelihood that the Spike was still busy with his greatest cleaning task to date, Twilight had picked a spot just outside, a small distance from where the front door used to be. Along with the guarantee that they wouldn’t materialise right on top of some hazard and cause damage to themselves and the house, Twilight could also be sure that she wouldn’t have to deal with a grouchy dragon grumbling about his hard work being ruined.
Her caution turned out to be in vain, however, when Rarity toppled over anyway due to her already disoriented senses being thrown off again by the incredibly fast method of travel. “I am so sorry,” the unicorn said shamefully as Twilight helped her up. “I must look like I’m trying to act like an undignified simpleton. Wait…MY MANE! SOMEPONY FIX MY MANE!”
Rarity refused to move until her royal purple curls were groomed to utter perfection. While Fluttershy attended to this, Twilight rolled her eyes and used the time to survey her home with a keen eye. She did a double take after seeing the door fully repaired and back in place as though it had never been blown off at all; Spike had made better progress than she had anticipated. Pleased and feeling slightly more assured that she wasn’t about to invite her friends into a bomb-site, Twilight stretched her wings and flapped them experimentally.
This still hasn’t sunk in properly yet. I’m a Princess of the country I love! And these wings – they feel so…right. I can’t wait until Rainbow Dash teaches me so I can be at least competent with them.
Of course, with all the benefits of her newfound position came the strings that were unavoidably attached. Fluttershy’s phobia of causing offence aside, a small population of other ponies in Ponyville were now reluctant to initiate conversation with her, likely for the same reason.
Worse, she’d had to endure the day after the coronation, a day filled with nothing but greeting old, probably corrupt members of Celestia’s parliament who gave fake smiles and faker commendations. The sister Princesses had kept them in check, naturally, but the occasion only confirmed Twilight’s fears that not everypony welcomed her into the role. In an extensive conversation and a hushed tone, Luna had warned her of the army of prejudices and bias the politicians sustained – and would quite possibly use – against her, and the list had definitely not been pleasant to the ear.
Nevertheless, Celestia had yet to request her presence back at the castle, at which point she would fill her in on the finer details of royal customs and expectations. Powerful as Twilight’s enemies were, they could do nothing until she actually started making decisions. Even then, it was impossible for them to pounce unless she showed signs of weakness or incompetence, qualities which she intended to stamp out as quickly as possible.
Lost in thought, Twilight barely noticed when Rarity at last declared her mane satisfactory and started towards the library. “Now, tell me about this terror that is endangering Equestria.”
She took a breath to answer, but her mind drew a blank as she realised that nothing was truly wrong. “I don’t know myself. Apparently something is going to happen soon, though.”
“Hm? Has Princess Celestia written to you about a new threat?”
Fluttershy, whom Twilight had honestly forgotten was there, spoke quietly. “Um, Princess Twilight told me everything on the way to your house, Rarity. Her Highness said that Pinkie Pie was the one predicting a disaster.”
Wincing over the horribly formal titles with which Fluttershy was hailing her, Twilight quickly found herself cringing further under Rarity’s dumbstruck gaze. “…I believe I must have misheard. Did Fluttershy say that you trusted Pinkie’s judgement in a matter of such magnitude?”
The alicorn felt her face grow hot. “Well, you see, she had one of her Pinkie senses. I wouldn’t have taken any notice but she’s gone through this one twice before, both times just before Equestria plunged into calamity. Pinkie’s just never told anypony about them until now.” Rarity’s expression only worsened, causing the words to tumble faster out of Twilight’s mouth to end her self-inflicted embarrassment. “I thought this might mean another catastrophe was imminent, so Pinkie Pie’s fetching Applejack and Rainbow while I came to get you two. Do you understand why I wanted to be safe on this? …Please say you understand.”
Judging by the way she’s looking at me as though I just urinated over her entire wardrobe, I don’t think she empathises much.
“W-Why of course, darling!” Rarity responded far too loudly. She cleared her throat, probably trying to retain some dignity after spending the past minute with her mouth hanging open. “Let’s just see how this unfolds, yes?”
Relieved that the white pony had dropped the subject, Twilight arrived at the front door and tentatively pushed it open. Images of Spike trapped underneath a pile of books and collapsed from excessive labour flashed uncontrollably in her mind’s eye as she suddenly shoved the door harder, wanting to get this over with. She peered inside…and gasped.
The library was spotless. Not a shred of litter cluttered the floors, not a stubborn mark stained the walls, not a single book sat out of place. It was clean in a way that clean did not describe, it was organisation to the extreme; it was perfect .
Twilight’s hooves drummed involuntarily on the spot as she surveyed her dream home, giggling. Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself impersonating Pinkie Pie, with copious amounts of singing accompanying her dance around the room. She didn’t even care that she was likely ruining the gleaming floor; just seeing the house exactly as she had long envisioned it, if only for a few seconds, was enough for her.
“Looks like somepony’s happy,” piped a familiar voice. Twilight stopped bouncing and saw a pony enter the room from the kitchen, a pegasus with a strikingly colourful mane and an attitude to match. “How’s my new flying buddy?” asked Rainbow Dash, taking a large bite out of the muffin she was holding.
Well, what do you know. Looks like Pinkie actually did as I asked!
“Rainbow, you’re here!” Twilight cried in delight, her ever-brightening mood improving further. After going in for a hug, which the pegasus denied in favour of a hoof-bump, Twilight managed to withhold a torrent of complaints when she saw crumbs from the confectionary falling all over the floor.
Speaking of which…
“Say, where did you get that muffin? I didn’t know you could bake.”
“I can’t,” said the carefree pegasus with a chuckle. “But Spike can. By the way, what took you so long? I got here ages ago, slowpokes! This place was still a mess when I arrived!” Polishing off the muffin, Rainbow suddenly appeared sheepish. “I’d say help yourselves to a snack, but that was kinda the last one, so…”
Twilight blinked. “Wait, Spike fixed all this and still had time to make you that thing?”
“Yup, a whole batch of them. You should have seen him go!” Rainbow Dash shot from the floor to fly around the room with incredible agility, racing from corner to corner but never crashing. “He was like the renovator version of the Wonderbolts!”
“What, and you just left him to it?” the alicorn pressed with a deliberate edge.
Slowing down to give Twilight a contagiously relaxed grin, Rainbow spread her front hooves wide. “Hey, don’t get the wrong idea. Obviously I said I’d help, but he just kept chucking muffins my way. What’s a hungry mare supposed to do apart from scoff them?” The pegasus landed and frowned. “Come to think of it, his behaviour was pretty confusing.”
A small niggle of concern poked at Twilight’s stomach. “Where is he now?”
“In Wonderland, probably,” answered Rainbow Dash with a lazy gesture of her hoof. “He’s taking a well-earned nap upstairs.” She reclined into her classic snoozing position, licked her lips and yawned. “I think I’ll have one myself. I hate being disturbed when I’m getting my forty winks.” Her eyes now closed, she said, “Wake me up when Pinkie and AJ get here, yeah?”
Unable to think of a suitable response to Rainbow’s statement and contradictory request, Twilight simply nodded to herself. She turned to the other two ponies in the room, addressing the one who had remained surprisingly silent. “Rarity, could you do me a big favour and keep watch for Pinkie coming back? I don’t want her blasting her way in here again.”
“But of course, Twilight. Applejack and I shall ensure that she behaves.” She stationed herself by the window, taking a mild interest in some of the nearby books.
Her attention switched to Fluttershy. Choosing her words carefully to present the friendliest attitude possible, Twilight made a fresh attempt to loosen the pegasus’s stiff conformity. “And Fluttershy, could you wake Rainbow Dash up when that happens? I know she doesn’t mind you because you’re so gentle and all.”
Looking absolutely ecstatic at being given both a task and a compliment, the shy pegasus bowed. “I swear upon the animals I take care of.”
Twilight had difficulty subduing another wave of frustration. A positive reaction was a start, but Fluttershy’s painfully needless observations of custom around royalty made the alicorn want to lash out at something. Seven days of probing and Twilight hadn’t put so much as a dent in Fluttershy’s armour of forced respect; the lilac mare was extremely worried that they would eventually drift apart, an outcome which could render her new diplomatic position crippled through sheer guilt.
Allowing the pointless anger to simmer until it boiled no more, Twilight resolved herself to try again later. Giving up would only serve to bind her to the unthinkable.
That’s those two sorted. In the meantime, I’ve got to check up on Spike. If Rainbow Dash’s accounts are anything to go by, it sounds like the little guy seriously tuckered himself out.
Her friends entrusted with their tasks, Twilight ascended the stairs to her room. She breathed a homely sigh at the familiarity, actually glad that it was now the messiest room in the house; an unlikely achievement considering that the rest of the library had fallen victim to Pinkie’s haphazard antics. Change was an event which Twilight was reluctant to embrace unless she understood the exact reasoning behind it and the consequences thereof, the logic which explained why she hoped her room would never suffer alteration at the hands of time or at the hooves of another pony.
Twilight heard him before she saw him: the adorable sound of Spike dreaming away. His signature snores made her want to snuggle him like a teddy bear, something which she often did whenever the ancient fabric of Smarty Pants just couldn’t warm her insides enough. This usually resulted in Spike awakening in a foul mood due to his snooze being prematurely cut, but resolving this was just a matter of giving him more affection. Twilight loved the irony that one could solve Spike’s disagreeable disposition in the morning by showering him with the very thing that caused the issue in the first place.
Today was one of those days when she couldn’t resist. Although the dark clouds dominating her life a mere ten minutes ago had been somewhat cleared thanks to the strong bonds she shared with Rainbow Dash and Rarity, Twilight needed those cumulonimbus masses to be sent to the other side of the planet by gale force winds if she were to be prepared to face another threat to her country. And for that to happen, she had to have Spike’s support.
The last of Twilight’s doubts about pulling him from his dreams disappeared when she realised that the dragon would have to be roused anyway as soon as Pinkie turned up with Applejack in tow. Confident that she wasn’t being unreasonable, the alicorn ran over to his basket, ripped off the blanket and swept him up in her hooves. She heard Spike mumble something along the lines of “…my sweet white flower…” before he spluttered incomprehensible nonsense, rapidly being dragged out of his fantasy.
She sat and cradled the groggy dragon close to her chest, already prepared to launch into her tried and tested tactics that would bring out his brighter side. At last Spike’s eyelids rose from a pained squint to their fully open state, his emerald pupils adjusting to the invading sunlight. Twilight waited for the inevitable onslaught of moaning and grumpiness, at which point she would cuddle him closely and tell him she needed his help.
The timeline she imagined, however, quickly developed a branch when the only thing that escaped Spike’s mouth was a sigh of contentment. He held his short arms straight out to her face and waved them about. Astonished that she had encountered no resistance whatsoever, Twilight gladly accepted her best friend’s implied request and allowed him to wrap his arms around her neck. “You really are the best assistant I could ever hope to have, Spike,” the alicorn said softly. “How did you manage to clean everything up so perfectly?”
“Ah, it was nothin’,” replied the dragon modestly, shifting to find the most comfortable position against her. “Only because it was for you, Twilight.”
She set him down and rustled his scales, feeling truly cured of the blues. “I need to make this up to you somehow,” she said with a sincere smile.
“No need.” Spike grinned, going into his brilliantly selfless gentleman mode. “Just doing my job.” With a frown signifying his return to normal, he asked, “Why did you go out again? I forgot.”
“We have to get everypony round here, remember? Fluttershy and Rarity got back with me, and now we’re just waiting for –”
“Rarity!” Spike cried. “I gotta say hello and be all smooth and stuff!” After spinning his semi-portable mirror towards himself, the dragon began scrutinising his appearance, flexing his tail and rotating his neck to find the angle his head should be tilted to best compliment his smile. “How do I look?”
Before Twilight had the opportunity to give her biased answer – namely that he couldn’t fail to woo anypony in Equestria with such striking features – Spike’s stomach rumbled loudly. Then it hit her.
I forgot to get Spike a gem! Stupid Twilight…I promised I’d reward him, and he did such a good job, too! What am I going to say?!
Spike apologised on behalf of his body, fretting aloud that he couldn’t possibly greet the mare of his dreams when his belly risked betraying his manners. His verbal anxiety tapered off as he noticed Twilight’s sudden restiveness.
Beaming madly at Spike to buy herself some time went unrewarded, her congested mind refusing to fabricate a single excuse which might appease him. As the pause lengthened, she was still unaware that her expression bore a dangerously close resemblance to that of insanity. “Uh, Twilight?” Spike ventured, tapping her head gently. “Are you in there?”
He doesn’t remember…thank Celestia for that!
“Absolutely fine, Spike. Dandy, even.” Seriously wanting to escape Spike’s developing combination of crossed arms and disbelieving air squeezing her for the truth, Twilight was relieved when Rarity saved her flank.
“Yoo-hoo, Twilight darling!” came her faint call from below. “Applejack and Pinkie are in sight; they’ll be here any moment!”
Spike’s attention instantly returned to the mirror and how his flattened scales might win the heart of the most beautiful pony in existence. With a giggle, Twilight scooped him up onto her back and trotted briskly downstairs. “Come on, Casanova. Let’s see if Pinkie’s forewarning holds any weight.”
The scene awaiting her was certainly the busiest she’d seen the library host for a long time. The previous occasion which had seen this many of her friends visit at once had not been a happy one, mainly because they had found enjoyment in harassing her and each other with greed, cruelty, deceit and pessimism. The outside world had been foreign and chaotic, and Rainbow Dash, now stretching after being awoken by Fluttershy, had not been present at all; she had abandoned them.
Shaking her head to rid the mind of Discord’s chilling laugh, Twilight hopped the last few steps and hugged Applejack and Pinkie as they came in, her front door remaining thankfully intact. Her heart seeped warmth as she watched all five of her friends greet each other enthusiastically, their wonderfully diverse personalities mixing up how they interacted as they accommodated for each other’s mannerisms.
Chrysalis, Discord, Sombra; they’re all in the past. We conquered those challenges and hardships because our friendship proved to have more conviction than their evil plans. Oh, I’m so proud of you guys...
Twilight almost shed a few drops of liquid pride until Fluttershy gave a loud gasp, turned on the spot and galloped towards her. Skidding to a halt inches from her hooves, Fluttershy entered into a deep bow and addressed the bewildered alicorn. “I’m so sorry, your Highness! I didn’t ask for permission to talk to my friends…please forgive me! Can I go and speak with Applejack?”
To say Twilight was at a loss would not even begin to describe the unadulterated hopelessness that immediately sank into her. “Fluttershy…I-I can’t…” She raised her head with darting eyes, desperately seeking some measure of support from the others, yet unbelievably none of them had batted an eyelid at the commotion.
With her friends remaining incognizant of her crumbling relationship with Fluttershy and a crowded library being no place to discuss the problem, Twilight was faced with no other choice but to mumble, “Yes, of course you can.”
Enough is enough. This needs sorting out today. When everypony leaves, I’ll ask Fluttershy to stay behind. No indirect cajoling this time; I’ve got to give it to her straight.
Unfortunately, a solid plan for the future was no substitute for the present, and Twilight could feel herself approaching a breakdown as she watched the problematic pegasus try to get involved in an animated debate between Applejack and Rainbow Dash. She looked away and compelled herself to find reason to smile, a decision that was duly rewarded when the most civilised dragon in Equestria unwittingly restored her spirits.
Spike was hogging more than his fair share of Rarity’s time. The unicorn herself looked slightly flustered, likely surprised at the dragon’s suave attitude and subtle compliments. Sure, he was small in stature and a bit chubby, but Twilight knew all too well how Spike could wrap most ponies around his little claw just by moving his jaw and employing a little chivalry. She liked to think that his abilities as a romantic wordsmith were owed in part to her; living in a library with a bookworm was almost certainly a contributing factor. It was a shame that Rarity seemed immune, but Twilight found refuge from her miserable feelings by silently egging him on.
A handful of minutes passed before Rainbow Dash grew predictably impatient and hovered near the ceiling to address the party. “Alright everypony, that’s enough chatter! My epic training got interrupted for this weird reunion, so I want an explanation!”
Applejack nodded in agreement. “This better be mighty important. Ah got a barn full o’ goods to take to market!”
A stone dropped in Twilight’s stomach. The awkward vibes Rarity and Fluttershy were suddenly emitting brought home the fact that neither the rainbow pegasus nor the country earth pony were aware of the very flimsy grounds for which they were all gathered.
The one who had provided those grounds, the candy-obsessed ball of fun called Pinkie Pie, seemed completely oblivious to the thick air currently floating between them. Having failed to explain the whole situation to the pair, it was now up to Twilight to deliver the uncertain news to Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
I swear I’ll get you for this, Pinkie…!
It wasn’t long before she cracked under their accusing glares. “Well, you see, Pinkie Pie just–”
A loud noise interrupted her speech. Large bells rang in her head as her mind recalled it as one related to happiness and excitement, although a bittersweet aftertaste sullied the memory; the alicorn was sure she’d been hearing it less and less recently. Twilight turned towards the source, unable to put a hoof on it until recognition set in the moment she saw Spike clutching his belly, a bloated look on his face.
And sure enough, in front of him lay a rolled up piece of parchment that he’d just belched out.
Rainbow Dash went to grab it, but Spike recovered and waved her away. “This is my job,” he said firmly. After giving Rarity a sly wink, which was rewarded with a dainty laugh and the unicorn fanning her face, he sliced the ribbon with his claw and unrolled the parchment, clearing his throat to complete the ritual. “Ahem…
“My fellow Princess, Twilight Sparkle,
I hereby summon you to Canterlot Castle to attend a meeting. Please bring the Elements of Harmony and their respective bearers, along with Spike the dragon. Enclosed are seven train tickets for your travel expenses, valid today only. I apologise for the short notice, but the matter I wish to discuss is rather urgent. My sister shall be awaiting your arrival at Canterlot station.
Best wishes, Princess Celestia. ”
A brief hush swept through the room. Somewhere in the back of Twilight’s mind was a hazy notion about Pinkie Pie being proven right, but it was the more prominent issue that came out of her mouth. “Why does the Princess need all six of us and Spike? She told me that my private teachings on royalty and economics would be…well, private.”
“Maybe she’s just worried that without us you’ll bash your head in out of boredom,” Rainbow suggested with a wink. “But then, that doesn’t explain why she wants us to take the Elements of Harmony, too…”
Rarity and Fluttershy had nothing to add; they were still digesting Pinkie’s accurate prediction. The jolly pony herself had long since begun bounding around the room, shouting, “WOO! Canterlot is the best ! Their chocolate fountains are the biggest ever , y’know, and I would eat my own mane just to take one bite out of a Fudge Supreme! I’m gonna break the world record for the number of balloons bought at once and use them to show everypony in Canterlot how to throw a proper party! WOO!”
Trying her best to ignore Pinkie’s rant and dodge her incredibly acrobatic performance, Twilight called to Spike, “So where are these tickets?”
Spike sank to his knees and groaned again. “Believe me; they’ll be here in a minute…”
The entire library livened into a frenzy of activity: Rainbow Dash demonstrated her share of Pinkie’s enthusiasm by inducing a tickle fight between them, Applejack coaxed Fluttershy from behind a potted plant and Rarity started shrieking that she could not afford to travel to such an established and upper class society without packing an unholy number of dresses and cosmetics.
Twilight approached her number one assistant and stroked him softly, causing his mumbles of pain to become intermittently broken by sighs of pleasure. “Come on, Spike. Get those tickets out of that tummy and start making a checklist. This is going to take some extreme organising…”
Chapter 3 – Converse With Caution
Chapter 3: Converse With Caution
During her almost innumerable years guiding Equestria towards a future of permanent peace and mutual acceptance, Celestia’s grand chambers had rarely been host to an air of tension. Hostile emotions were usually experienced in the dreaded Conference Room, where her octet of advisors bickered to no end by firing their selfish arguments at any angle around the circular discussion table. Once a week she and her sister had to endure this eight-sided war in which compromise was a destitute notion, and Celestia would have happily fired every one of them a long time ago if it meant that their replacements would be more willing to think about Equestria’s issues logically. Unfortunately, nopony who officially qualified for such esteemed promotion behaved any differently; they all seemed to lose any sense of altruism somewhere along the hierarchy.
Her private space, however, was a haven from the stress these meetings so regularly induced. The sun never failed to gently bathe the upper floors of the castle in a beautiful light, complimenting her large but relatively functional room perfectly. Celestia refused to sour this atmosphere with her own anxiety, and keeping a positive mindset made for excellent self-discipline. If she did not show weakness even when alone, she could not possibly crack under the so often demanding glowers of her citizens and consultants.
But that evening, waiting for the arrival of a Princess whom she had personally crowned, Celestia could not sit still.
It was by no random impulse that she had chosen Luna to greet Twilight Sparkle and company at the station. Her sulking sister had only relented to unlock her door half an hour ago, shortly after Celestia had requested that she accompany important visitors to the castle. The sun goddess had known that these arguably underhand tactics would work, but she was nonetheless heartened by Luna’s renewed efforts. With her sibling on the recovery from Discord’s verbal manipulation and Twilight now guaranteed an escort, Celestia had killed two Parasprites with one spell; exactly how she liked it.
From her balcony, watching Luna slowly blend into Canterlot’s evening glow as she departed had at least given Celestia something to do. She was pleased that observing the dwindling number of ponies in the streets bow to her sister had provided the usual gush of pride, love and slight amusement. But now that she could distinguish Luna’s form no more than she could a house in Ponyville from her position, an uncharacteristic apprehension was creeping over her.
This meeting is everything. If I slip up, the entire nation may well begin to question my rule, and I have little doubt that Discord would gladly rip apart any shred of shaky alliance we have recently developed to throw chaotic fuel for the fire. Yet I must remain calm; a state of panic is a state wherein one speaks without thinking.
Try as she might to remind herself that her intentions were ultimately good, Celestia’s hooves denied being at rest, pacing back and forth with relentless rhythm. Lying by omission was not a decision to be made lightly by a leader, especially when the majority of auditors were both respected figures and close friends, to her as well as each other.
At last Celestia managed to dig her lustrous hooves into the carpet, stopping their motion. Her wise eyes searched for anything that offered a suitable distraction, eventually falling upon the very new painting of Twilight Sparkle’s coronation. The mare shone radiantly in the depiction, her wings particularly prominent, but it was to no avail; even then Celestia was plagued with a deep unsettling.
There’s something wrong with that painting…
A dignified shake of the head vanquished her doubt as she attributed her paranoia to nerves. Celestia gazed for several seconds at the conjoined bathroom, wondering if indulging in a hot bath until Luna’s return would sedate the persistent churning in her stomach.
“I have to admit, I don’t know whether you’re just ignoring me or if you’ve actually achieved the stupidity necessary to not notice me at all.”
Startled as she was, Celestia displayed no outward show of surprise. Even without his unmistakable drawl, the words alone betrayed the identity of her uninvited guest because only one living organism in the whole of Equestria would dare address her with such brashness. She turned back to the oddly sinister painting and this time could not mistake the peculiar thing previously vexing her. “Hiding in Twilight Sparkle’s eyes, Discord? And here I thought you had better affairs to pursue than shrouding yourself in artificial varnish.”
A cackle vibrated through the room before Discord evacuated the painting and materialised in unpleasantly close proximity to Celestia. He continued to laugh helplessly, the only difference now being the absence of the echoing quality he had employed inside the artwork. “Oh, I’ve been annihilated in a battle of insults!” he choked. “Score one to you, Princess! Score one to you.”
“How long have you been there?” Celestia demanded.
Discord busied himself with picking his nose and flicking the results towards her dresser, probably aiming for the glass of water that stood upon it. “Well, this is just me, but I think a better question is: what has your poor carpet ever done to you?” Celestia’s fearsome scowl temporarily dropped to ponder his cryptic speech. “You’re pacing, Celestia,” Discord clarified. “You never pace.”
His infuriatingly knowing grin positioned right next to her face was unbearable. Celestia broke eye contact to walk to her balcony as calmly as her distaste towards him would allow. “I have nothing to say to you, Discord.”
“Really? Because unless my imagination decided to go that extra mile and played a trick on itself, I could have sworn you invited me to a certain meeting tonight.” A deck chair accommodated Discord’s lounging body as he reappeared next to her on the balcony. “Almost sunset, Celestia,” he remarked through a mouthful of purple cocktail he had taken to sipping. Adjusting the completely unnecessary sunglasses sat upside down on his face, Discord continued, “I do hope that Nightmare Moon returns in time to start my favourite half of the day.”
Any remaining fragment of wonder as to how Discord could have viably enraged Luna to the point of insanity melted. The anger in Celestia’s core blazed, but none manifested onto her outer being. “Our meeting is strictly business-orientated. Your presence is required to give some confidential information to the others in attendance; nothing more.” Her line of sight locked onto the horizon, helping her to ignore Discord’s attempts to provoke her with personal needling.
But strangely, her unwelcome visitor adopted a cold silence. Neither of them conceded a word for what was surely a record peacetime between the pair, the orange glow of sunset making for an unlikely backdrop. It was only when Discord finished the last dregs of his beverage that he stored the glass which had contained it inside his mouth, disposed of his get-up and spoke. “Funnily enough, Celestia, the only reason I’m here is to talk business, too.”
A spark of concern flavoured with a hint of intrigue came over her. A God of Chaos who came to chat without the ulterior motive of satisfying his own twisted amusement was one to be wary of. “Forgive me if I’m a little dubious to that; I could count the number of matters you consider serious on a toy abacus.”
A chuckle escaped Discord as he folded up the deck chair and dumped it over the edge. “Absolutely, Celestia. This just happens to be one of them.”
His voice…it’s changed. Where’s the playful tone? Where are his jokes? I need to tread carefully here…
With hesitant interest usurping her hatred of his guts, Celestia trusted herself to meet his eyes again. “I’ll give you one chance to hold a mature conversation, Discord. What do you want?”
“Well, firstly I should say that I wasn’t really worried at all when I made myself comfortable in that painting. I didn’t believe you would ever put yourself at risk.” Discord’s face suddenly darkened. “But something you just said troubles me, Celestia. And I think it’s troubling you even more.”
The once light foreboding gnawing at Celestia’s psyche rapidly established a firmer place inside her mind. Although she now harboured an educated guess as to the direction of the conversation, playing dumb was far safer at the moment. “Explain yourself, Discord.”
The draconequus stood completely straight, forcing her to look skyward to continue reading his body language. Discord’s red pupils flashed with superiority; Celestia was sure that he was still dropping mind games among their rocky truce. “You told me my only role in our cosy gathering tonight is to unveil some secret information…all for gratis, I might add. But we’re going to have a bit of a problem if the information in question regards our little deal.”
“Our little deal?” Celestia repeated, still feigning ignorance.
“Acting dumb to the obvious doesn’t suit you, Princess.” Discord’s body curled into a C shape, his voice dropping to barely a whisper as their eyes drew level. “You know full well what I’m talking about: the object I found in this very castle the first time I broke free from that stone prison. It incriminates you, Celestia.”
With the dangerous topic she had feared Discord would breach now torn wide open, Celestia could only push on to ensure she had knowledge of his dark aims. “Your point being?”
“Do I really have to spell it out?” Discord laughed triumphantly. “I hope you can keep your end of the bargain, Celestia. Because if you can’t maintain your poker face about what I’m doing, you might soon find that somebody rigged the deck, and the cards dealt in the next hand will tell the whole world what you have concealed for so long.”
Determined not to let Discord’s threats faze her, Celestia retorted, “I may have faked confusion, but it seems that you are truly stupid, Discord.” Pleased to see him blink in surprise, she went on, “Don’t you realise? I cannot reveal your crimes without shooting myself in the hoof; no matter to whom I might tell your secrets, doubt would immediately be cast over my own honesty and integrity.”
Discord paused for a few moments, as though weighing up the accuracy of her claim. Then a small smile wormed its way onto his face. “Touché, Princess.”
Sick of the sight of him, Celestia made to end the conversation. “So, Discord, you don’t have to give yourself a headache over this. Our agreement will remain between the two of us,” she finished truthfully. Without waiting for a response, Celestia retreated from the balcony and approached the huge mirror on her wall, wanting to neutralise any visible signs of stress before the meeting.
She did indeed look tired. But then, though Celestia’s lips did not move, her reflection suddenly spoke. “Just remember…” Her mirror image disintegrated and quickly reformed to display an illusion of Discord, who stared back at her to issue a final warning before vanishing from the room altogether. “…I’m watching you, Celestia.”
One Princess returning to Canterlot Castle would always be met with a horde of butlers bombarding her with offers of homely comforts and refreshments, complemented by a string of fanfares resounding from the castle’s musicians. Two Princesses returning at once, however, seemed to deserve nothing of the sort.
“Excuse the lack of ceremonials,” apologised Luna, pausing in the centre of the enormous entrance hall. “My sister wished to curb any knowledge of our gathering from the public.”
A general nod of understanding flowed through the six ponies and lone dragon accompanying her. “I actually prefer it this way,” Twilight Sparkle assured her. “Getting crowded by ponies who deafen me and shove things in front of my face?” She shuddered.
“It’s fine and everything,” spoke up the impatient Rainbow Dash, “but why all the secrecy? I thought Twilight was here to learn about politics and all that boring stuff.”
The scowl Luna wanted to wear only got as far as a small frown as she hid her pain of being in the dark. Pleading Celestia for an explanation beforehand had yielded nothing, and the resulting sense of betrayal was horribly confusing.
Contain yourself, Luna! If Celestia sees reason enough to withhold her knowledge until tonight, I must throw my doubts aside and protect her ideals to the end. I love you, sister… and I shall defend you because my heart of hearts promises that the reverse is also true.
Composure regained, she resumed a steady pace through the castle, the others following so that they could speak without a booming echo telling everypony within one hundred yards their thoughts of the delicate topic. Although visibly deserted, the wide corridors were flooded with enough air to let them act as an ominous presence themselves, never mind how a spying pony could dart around corners unnoticed with childish ease.
Finally arriving in a small waiting room, Luna shut the door after Spike and was unsurprised to see Rainbow Dash looking more than a little miffed about being ignored.
The Princess of the Night smiled softly. “My apologies, young Rainbow Dash, and to you also, Twilight; I am unable to give the comprehensive answer you seek, if only thanks to my dangerously rich curiosity forcing my sister to deny me information before even Discord.”
The mention of his name injected a rapid wave of shock into the group. “Hold on jus’ one darn minute!” Applejack spluttered, having found her voice first. “Y’all tellin’ us that that long-bodied, manipulatin’, ugly son of a gun is gonna be showin’ his face?”
Suppressing the urge to correct Applejack’s trainwreck of mannerisms, Luna nodded stiffly, an ancient concoction of bitterness brewing inside. “Indeed. I share your concerns and despise him with an unfailing passion, yet I choose to trust Celestia’s judgement. His role will become clear during the meeting, I assure you.”
“B-But…he isn’t bad anymore, Princess…” When Luna’s eyes met the quiet speaker’s, Fluttershy squealed and hid behind her front hooves. “S-S-Sorry! It’s just…Discord is my friend…”
Luna slowly offered a royal hoof to the trembling mare and helped her up. “Although he appears reformed to you and has promised to somewhat improve his ways, I would not be so sure, little one. He is a slippery cad, and we shall soon discover where his true loyalties lie.”
Suddenly sensing the mood needlessly deteriorating, Luna addressed the group in an energised voice. “Do not fall into the trap of becoming demotivated only because a few lesser problems are mounting. Discord would be a fool to try anything remotely duplicitous tonight; we have the capacity to control him, especially since Shining Armour and Cadence will also be in attendance.”
Twilight’s tired eyes instantly flared. “My brother will be there? And Cadence?” Her recently plonked rear end shot up from the floor and she started wandering about aimlessly. “Oh, seeing them more often will do me wonders!”
In spite of Twilight’s rejuvenation, it was her behaviour before that had caught Luna’s astute attention. Entrusting her instincts with the simple task of being correct, Luna decided to act on her hunch. “I grow weary of chatter. The meeting begins in thirty minutes, and I would ask my subjects to settle into the Conference Room.” The group replied in the affirmative and left, Twilight almost joining them until Luna reminded her that she was her equal, not her subject. Spike shut the door behind himself, Twilight now her single companion.
“What is it, Luna?” she asked. “Shouldn’t I be getting my bearings too?”
With clocks ticking against her, Luna abandoned her usual expressiveness and charged headlong into her point. “Twilight, during the journey from the station to the castle, you were quiet, sulky, and had all the royal presence of a bedridden pensioner. Something troubles you, does it not?”
A prolonged grimace crossed Twilight’s face, as though her current natural expression was finally peeking out from behind a mask of smiles. “Is it that obvious?” When Luna deemed her question rhetorical by remaining silent, Twilight hung her head and sniffed sadly. “I’ve been having problems with Fluttershy.”
“Fluttershy? Discord’s self-proclaimed friend, and the mare who taught me how my language might be tempered and modernised?”
Twilight’s downcast neck bobbed up and down. “She speaks to me like I would destroy this dimension in a fit of rage if I’m not treated with an absurd amount of respect. My new status is paralysing her; she can’t be around me without acting like my slave and I…I just…” She trailed off, her voice breaking badly.
Alarmed at the severity of Twilight’s predicament, Luna quickly rallied, “But thou art an expert negotiator! And she a kind soul! Surely an intelligent and heartfelt speech can mend the rift of social distance blighting your friendship.”
“She’s too kind, Luna,” Twilight replied dolefully. “I just wish I’d have been upfront in her cottage earlier today…”
“You found time to visit all of your friends’ residences and talk to them after receiving my sister’s letter?”
“It wasn’t like that.” A sad chuckle echoed from Twilight’s throat. “We ended up having some notice.”
Luna listened with curious ears as Twilight told her how Pinkie Pie, a pony whom Luna had promptly concluded to be insane upon meeting her at the station, had foreseen a situation that would require the wielders of the Elements of Harmony. Although having made several attempts to pry open Fluttershy’s stoppered emotions while gathering the others, Twilight remained standing on a terrible pedestal in the pegasus’s eyes.
“I wanted to get it off my chest in the library, but with the last train departing so soon I was just lucky that Rarity didn’t demand a makeover before we left,” Twilight finished with a sigh.
“And, of course, a bustling train in no way befits a setting intended to ameliorate a relationship,” Luna confirmed to herself.
Despite not being fully aware of Celestia’s reasoning behind organising such a hushed occasion, she did know that a mental struggle between two of the participants was not an acceptable state of affairs. “Make no mistake: our calling here tonight is of the utmost importance. I would strongly advise that you terminate this disorder immediately, before we convene; neither Celestia nor myself will tolerate any perturbation, and one guest already carries too much chaotic potential for my liking.”
“N-Now? But there’s so little time, and I don’t think I can –”
“There is time enough,” Luna said firmly. “Call her back to this room. Call her back and do not be afraid to show her your heart, Twilight Sparkle. Do whatever it takes to weave your friendship back into the fertile tapestry it once was, arrive punctually at the meeting and relieve your mind of a worry that need not exist. Do you understand?”
Twilight bowed, and Luna smiled in the knowledge that it was out of personal gratitude rather than obligatory respect. “Of course I will, Luna. Thank you.”
Vacating the room together, the pair of rulers went their separate ways as Twilight ran in the direction her friends had headed, calling Fluttershy’s name. By now the sun was no more than a crest of light straining to keep its head above the horizon, and Luna’s very essence could feel the moon eagerly awaiting its place in the sky.
So many times I have performed this ritual, yet so few have adhered to this feeling of momentous significance. A secret consortium, the members of which have all changed the fate of the world for better or, in one case, for worse, called together by the highest power under the cover of darkness; may the moon be our shining beacon in the blackened mess of matters into which I fear we are about to plunge.
Arriving at the foot of the grand staircase, Luna began the long climb to the peak of the castle.
Chapter 4 – The Sausage Delay
Chapter 4: A Telling Delay
As she entered the Conference Room with Fluttershy beside her, a habitual checklist composed itself without permission in Twilight’s head. It clung there with an irritating persistence, its latest two items of arriving punctually to the meeting and mending a cracked friendship eager to be ticked off. But Twilight could reasonably dispose of only one of them.
Well, at least I’m on time.
Twilight was grateful for the relatively boring layout of the room. Perfectly circular in shape; enormous banners adorned with familiar crests hanging at equidistant intervals around the circumference; fresh food and drink within easy magical reach at the back; and the timeless round table, a transparent symbol over which crucial decisions were made.
She noted that even what wasn’t there hinted at the room’s purpose, the total lack of raised positions telling Twilight that, in here, a peasant could declare their view and know it carried no less magnitude than a princess’s. Since all opinions were fair game, no other furniture bothered to make an appearance, probably because it would more likely end up hitting someone in the face during a blazing argument rather than serve a more common purpose of comfort. Perhaps a similar reason applied to why none of the refreshments offered high sugar content, and also why the single colour painted upon the walls – a very unprovocative shade of blue – simply sat there in the background, as if it didn’t want to get involved.
She was grateful for all of this because, after hearing Fluttershy’s reaction to her admission of pent-up frustration, Twilight could personify the vexing cloud now surrounding her own mind very succinctly: a swarm of maddening confusion.
Unprepared to initiate a heart-to-heart at such short notice, Twilight knew that her torrent of explanations and apologies had been badly structured—yet Fluttershy had behaved like a robot programmed with straightforward, generic responses. Neutrality almost to the point of indifference was neither Fluttershy’s genuine disposition nor characteristic for her to fake, especially not when under dire stress.
Twilight knew then that something disturbing ran deep within Fluttershy, and the cause had struck recently. Whether it proved to be a delicate, personal problem, or a terrible secret concealed for the benefit of another, her behaviour could not be excused by the coronation alone.
At least the pegasus had promised to suppress future urges to proclaim undying servitude to her, but having expected either continued resistance or a bawling breakdown, Twilight had no idea how Fluttershy now felt, and therefore no clue how much progress she had made.
Still, the predictability of the Conference Room somewhat helped clear Twilight’s congested thoughts and, to a lesser extent, play down the tangle of mysteries.
My options have been narrowed down to just the one: when this meet is over, I have to bring my friends up to speed and see if they have better luck. Together, we can surely coax Fluttershy out of that shell and accomplish what I’m obviously incapable of doing on my own.
Scanning the room to mentally claim a spot around the table, Twilight was pleased to see those same friends having settled in well, their thirty-minute wait seemingly enough to have bred an atmosphere of ease. An impassive Celestia stood in silence, eyes closed and magnificent horn glowing gently, but Twilight took the princess’s allowance of casual conversation as a positive sign that the reasons behind this gathering did not bode with serious alarm.
On a whim of curiosity, Twilight focused on the loudest commotion. An amusing scene met her eyes wherein Applejack was engaged in animated discussion with Shining Armour, whose contributions consisted mostly of hearty laughs, while Cadence performed flawlessly as a spare part beside them. Twilight couldn’t help a giggle; her brother had been enthralled with Applejack’s accent ever since their respective introductions, a harmless addiction which his wife was usually graceful enough to take in her stride.
Nearby, Rainbow Dash sat in what appeared to be contented bewilderment as Pinkie Pie’s mouth delivered a sentence that never ended. The explanation why Rainbow, irrefutably the most impatient mare within an Equestria-sized radius, always tolerated – no, actively enjoyed – the pink pony’s haphazard rants without getting the chance to give her own, swollen opinions was a box Twilight feared she might never tick.
At last Pinkie’s lungs demanded that she take a breath, and Rainbow Dash managed a few, enthusiastic words. Suddenly Pinkie dove forward to embrace Rainbow in her signature death-squeeze, after which point she said something that was clearly extremely embarrassing, for a furious blush flooded Rainbow Dash’s cheeks.
Her outlook bright at seeing her friends so relaxed and affectionate, Twilight’s eyes switched to the other side of the table, where they beheld the perfectly ordinary sight of Spike chatting to Rarity.
And an inferno of hate raged within her.
W-What? What was that?
Twilight blinked. Her senses discerned no change of surroundings since the fleeting gap in her composure, save for a subdued Fluttershy shuffling into a space around the table between Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Along with no perceivable instigator thereof, the monstrous emotion hadn’t even had the common courtesy to stay long enough for Twilight to be sure of its existence.
The knowledge that dwelling on the matter would only exacerbate her mood brought Twilight’s attention to the last pony in attendance.
Luna looked more anxious than anything else. Ever the less talented sister when the situation called for a figurative mask, her lower jaw maintained a permanent clamp on the opposite lip, and her hooves rapped periodically upon the table. Perhaps Luna was lost in the information concerning Fluttershy’s crumbling character, or she may well have been worried about a fact which Twilight herself only now realised: the final guest and his reliably chaotic entrance were nowhere to be seen.
Catching each other’s gaze after a few seconds, Twilight was greeted with one of Luna’s raised eyebrows. This was no acknowledgement, and Twilight responded to the true nature of the gesture as best she could. She shook her head through clenched teeth, allowed her tail to droop and, above all, shrugged with an air of total cluelessness. She hoped that Luna got the intended message.
I don’t know how it went with Fluttershy… I’m sorry! I just don’t know!
After a brief frown, Luna offered a sympathetic smile, countered by the firmness of her accompanying nod. Recognising the role-reversal, Twilight studied her fellow princess carefully.
The conclusion she drew left Twilight worried that she might be a simpleton, as the single solution she could glean from Luna’s body language was one applicable to every other difficult situation under the sun which her sister guided.
Be strong, Twilight Sparkle, echoed Twilight’s independent narrator in a passable rendition of both Luna’s voice and mannerisms. So long as courage is your companion, no problem shall stand invincible.
Her head fell silent. Twilight returned the steadfast nod she owed, and soon the beat of rhythmic tapping filled the room once more as Luna succumbed to her disquiet.
On her second attempt to pick out a free space around the table, Twilight’s focus broke again thanks to a friendly hoof which was suddenly grooming her mane. Turning revealed its owner to be Cadence, who chuckled softly and withdrew the hoof. “Sorry, but I won’t have my favourite mare looking anything but her best,” said her former foal-sitter with a wink.
“Cadence, I’m so glad you’re here!” she exclaimed. Happiness emboldened her, and Twilight fired a question too tempting to resist. “Getting to spend much quality time with your husband?” she asked with a sly smile.
Cadence laughed in understanding. “I’ll get you back for that,” she joked. “I’ll admit, your brother’s ears are probably having a bit too much of a good time with Applejack given the circumstances, but I know that Shining is taking this as seriously as the next pony.” A faint spark invigorated her. “Still, we could have our fun too, you know. We haven’t greeted each other properly yet…”
Twilight could not have hoped to prevent the mischievous grin now spreading on her lips. “We haven’t, have we?”
After glancing around in unison to ensure they did not have an audience, the duo forged ahead with their rite of song and dance, chanting, “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybug’s awake! Clap your hooves and—”
“Burn them at the stake?” suggested a voice mildly.
Twilight raised her eyes skyward, intending to burn holes through the idiot who had desecrated their ritual. “What?” said Discord, half indignant, half amused. “I had to find some way of stopping you two from shaking your backsides at one another.”
Twilight opened her mouth to retort, but the insult died in her throat when the thickness of the air made itself known to her. Discord’s arrival had withered the environment and, although the multitude of talk bouncing around the Conference Room had not stopped, an invisible volume dial seemed to have been twisted firmly anti-clockwise. The predictable exception was Rainbow Dash welcoming him with a loud, “You’re late!”
Continuing as though he had made no impact whatsoever, Discord tousled Twilight’s lilac mane and addressed her again. “Look at you, all grown up and responsible! I feel like a proud dad, except that I’m thousands of years older, a completely different species and the reason why you suffered from extreme depression for a while.”
She tore his ugly limb off her mane and ignored his sarcasm. “Why are you here? We don’t need you or your malicious ways ruining our lives, Discord, so what is so important to Celestia that means your personal attack on her sister can be forgotten?” In her peripheral vision, Twilight thought she saw Cadence looking at her proudly, helping to imbue her voice with even more conviction.
Eyes darting left and right, Discord beckoned Twilight near with a talon. Hesitantly, she cooperated through a few tentative steps forward, but his claw kept motioning for their bodies to draw closer and closer until his mouth hovered a hair’s breadth from her ear. Fearing a classic act of trickery at hand, Twilight braced for an explosion of noise to rip apart her ear drum…
“Because I’m just that handsome,” he whispered.
Twilight sagged, her patience rapidly evaporating into the humid air. His face triumphant, Discord pulled away and cackled. “Ah, I love surprising you, my dear princesses! The four of you are my favourite victims. But a little perspective is always nice, so tonight we’re playing switcheroo: I don’t have the foggiest why Celestia is locking me in this criminally organised dump with you lot. For all I know, she’s invited me so I can chow down on her latest chocolate cake recipe.”
“Or maybe just throw it in your face…” quipped Cadence, making Twilight snort as she stifled a laugh.
“Speaking of cake,” Discord continued with a jab towards the refreshments table, “did you notice how there isn’t a single slice of it on offer over there? It’s a disgrace, I tell you. I’m off to see if there’s a sausage or otherwise suitably shaped implement that I can shove up an unfortunate area of the chef later. Toodles!”
And he departed, his casual float to the back of the room enlivened only by the sound of his humming and the palpable glares of varying intensity directed his way.
It took Twilight a few seconds to realise she was holding her breath. Releasing it slowly, her muscles relaxed as Cadence told her, “You handled that really well, Twilight. You’re going to do Equestria proud.”
High praise was always a buzz for Twilight, mainly because she lived restlessly without validation that her actions were worthwhile and morally just, but this time she found herself unable to accept the compliments; too much doubt lay rooted too deeply. “I don’t know, maybe,” she sighed. “I’m determined to do my best, but whether that will be enough to please everypony…” She trailed off, improvised modesty failing her.
“Hey, don’t put yourself down, Twili!”
Shining Armour trotted over and gave her a hug which she knew had been deliberately perfected since her birth, one that offered a physically soft blanket of touch yet simultaneously conveyed a powerful assurance. “You’ve got what it takes. I know the pressure multiplies like a Parasprite when everypony has so much faith in you, but it actually ends up being the helpful driving force that pushes you to succeed.”
A soppy smile spread across his face. “I should know; you were the one who said I couldn’t possibly fail when I became captain of the Royal Guard.”
The wholeness and intimacy of his logic touched Twilight, and she was reminded of exactly why her brother was entrusted with so much responsibility. “Thank you,” she said softly, knowing that Shining did not need to hear tacky add-ons to understand the depth of her gratitude.
When she felt that the moment had passed, Twilight moved to give the conversation a playful kick. “So, have you finally dragged yourself away from my friend’s seductive voice?”
“S-Seductive?!” he spluttered, casting terrified glances at Cadence. “I…I mean…!”
His awkwardness was all the more hilarious to witness because Twilight had assumed nothing; Shining had slipped up during one of her routine visits to the castle with her friends two months ago. Having only just truly interacted with Applejack for the first time, Twilight had innocently asked what he thought of her.
And now here he stood, probably cursing his lax tongue. Faced with the prospect of either lying to Cadence or signing his own death sentence, Shining eventually made the smart choice and did neither. “Oh Twili, you’re such a joker!” he evaded. “Applejack was just telling me about the Zap Apple harvest! Did you know the howl of the Timberwolves is the first sign that they’re coming? And their colour! It’s amazing! I had no idea that…”
Shining Armour continued in this way for quite some time, although whether his blabbering reflected a genuine enthusiasm or was merely a tactical shield against the potential wrath of his wife remained unknown to Twilight. She grew bored, scrawling invisible shapes on the carpet until a royal symbol upon it made her realise, with a start, that she had almost forgotten the apparent importance of this meeting.
What’s taking so long? Discord is here now, and I don’t think Celestia is waiting to see if he finds that sausage. We should have started ages ago…
Looking upon Princess Celestia again, Twilight was slightly unnerved to see no change in her stance. In fact, she wouldn’t blame a casual observer for thinking Celestia had frozen herself in time with magic; it was difficult to perceive her even breathing, only the horn atop her head glimmering with any sign of life.
Twilight jabbed her brother to shut him up before nodding at Celestia. “What’s she doing?”
“Checking for bugs,” Shining replied as if it were obvious.
When Twilight’s look of expectancy for some reason did not prompt Shining Armour to expand, Cadence took it upon herself to carry on instead. “Well, as you’ll have noticed by now, Celestia and Luna’s advisors aren’t here. I’m not sure why that is, but one thing everypony in this castle is sure of is that they aren’t happy about it.”
Shining Armour concurred with a grim smile. “Celestia knows that they’re all nosy, pompous nutjobs, so she’s searching for any hidden spells they might have cast beforehand that would record whatever we’re about to discuss.” He ran a hoof tiredly down his face. “You know better than I do, Twili, how crafty subtle magic like that can be, so I’m guessing that’s why we’re sitting around like this.”
Understanding came, but with it arrived a familiar thirst for knowledge. Despite all her dealings within the castle, including for the duration of the coronation, Twilight had only caught glimpses of maybe two or three of the politicians and never actually spoken to any of them. More importantly, since much of the happenings during a court session were left to the ravages of public speculation, she knew that her comprehension of their personalities was likely infested with falsities and hearsay. “There are eight of them, right? The royal sisters’ advisors, I mean.”
“Yup,” said Shining Armour brusquely, “and I don’t care for any of them. Our duties clash quite a bit, and they’re always lecturing me about how I could do my job better.” A clear inner upheaval drove him to stomp angrily. “Pah! I should march in here in the middle of a meeting and shoot down every one of their selfish demands by showing them how real life works!”
Cadence approached and nuzzled her head against his, causing his agitation to wane as he inhaled a breath of calm. “Thanks, sweetheart. Celestia is right, though; it’s that Dark Horse you’ve got to watch out for. You can’t trust a stallion who never takes off his cloak.”
“Dark Horse?” inquired Twilight, doubtful that any parent in their right mind would ever curse their newbornwith such an impersonal, lazy title. “That’s got to be a nickname.”
“Yeah, a disturbingly fitting one for the pony who hides his cutie mark: Icon o’ Clast.”
Curious uncertainty quickly stole the forefront of Twilight’s attention; she had heard of Icon o’ Clast. Keen-minded but fierce-hooved, he was the unspoken leader of Celestia’s court. With a deliberate sense of equality enforced through the Conference Room’s very design and seven other agendas competing to win bragging rights, one could be misled into thinking that the other politicians would verbally grapple with Clast in as confident and self-righteous a manner as they would the stallion sat next to him.
But a recent memory merged with Twilight’s vision, and Celestia’s voice rang only six days old as she warned, “Icon o’ Clast is the most spectacular but also most unsettling unicorn of this generation. He holds no regard for his own safety and, one way or another, always chooses the path which results in the least fatalities, bulldozing over any dangling issues such as financial cost, national relations, tradition…and other ponies’ point of view.”
Celestia had indulged in a thoughtful pause before admitting, “Trouble is that his suggestions are often the best way to proceed. It’s a welcome change from the usual essays of propaganda, and although my other advisors share a common trait with him in their reluctance to compromise, Clast’s thought process is alien territory to them. A mind like yours, Twilight, would notice their fear of him before he opened his mouth.”
“However, do not imagine that we nurse a soft spot for him,” Luna had added, troubled experiences evident in her eyes. “Even we speak carefully on the occasions when his arrant ideals about the sanctity of life must be rejected.”
Another heavy pause had weighed them down on them, and Luna voiced her final mentation carefully. “Icon o’ Clast would sacrifice himself to save Equestria in a heartbeat, but he would just as soon silence you in your sleep if your blood sustained two dying Changelings.”
The memory ended on that knife-edged balance of character, and Twilight sympathised with the sisters for the thousandth time. “They sure have a lot to put up with, don’t they?”
“You can say that again,” Shining replied with a humourless laugh. “Princess Celestia has not been herself lately.”
Cadence sighed, and Twilight spotted a flash of contagious fatigue engulfing the alicorn; all ponies, it seemed, had employed brave faces to conceal their weaknesses today. “Shining and I worry for her health. It goes without saying that crowning a new princess is going to induce some measure of stress, but this has been ridiculous.”
“Too right, and I’m willing to bet a few bits that Clast is pulling most of the strings,” Shining Armour said with no shortage of confidence. “He’s given those two enough grief already just because he thinks your youth automatically means you can’t be a good ruler.” A scoff escaped him and he took a sharp breath, as if to launch into another offensive.
Then Twilight saw him change his mind. He chewed his lip slowly, hesitant to go on.
“Shining?” ventured Twilight. Eyeing her nervously, her brother grunted. “Is there something I should know? Don’t leave me in the dark, not now... I need all the help I can get if I’m to stand a chance of winning their trust.”
A pile of senseless noises was his response, which irked Twilight; she had little patience watching a stallion, especially her own brother, grunt profusely and then believe it a sound reason to excuse himself from answering. So, without a shred of guilt, Twilight pouted and gave him her best helpless-little-sister look.
And he relented. “Gah! Fine. Their trust is worth less than nothing, but I suppose the wrong first impression could tempt them to stir even more trouble. I can’t find a delicate way to put this, so—”
“Excuse me, everyone!” Three strikes of Celestia’s hoof against the table ensured her call was heard. “I’m happy to announce that nothing of underhand intent has been planted inside this room. If you would all gather round, please…”
Still eager to be in the circle of knowledge, Twilight motioned for Shining Armour to hurry up and explain. He shook his head, however, merely promising, “Later.”
Disappointed, Twilight skulked over to the table and found a space fairly close to the room’s entrance. She did not particularly care whom she neighboured, but Twilight vaguely wondered if fate had assumed control to order the party around the table; sat directly opposite was Fluttershy, whose eyes contained abundant pain as they looked to be silently pleading for help.
Wait! Is she ready to talk?
Unable to speak without arousing suspicion and clueless as to the form of assistance Fluttershy so desperately needed, Twilight could only place a hoof over her heart and gaze at her friend with soft sincerity.
I’ll help you, she mouthed across the table. Everything will be ok… I promise.
Fluttershy’s lip trembled, and Twilight’s spirits soared when the pegasus noiselessly replied, Thank you.
“My deepest apologies for the delay,” Princess Celestia began from a position that could arguably have been called head of the table. “Firstly, I would like to remind everyone that this meeting is not a reaction to a disaster or a looming threat. But, I will take liberties now to assure you how important and also how confidential the subject at hoof actually is. There will be a lot to take in, so please pay attention.” Twilight thought she saw her glance at Pinkie.
Feeling a weighty disturbance on her back, Twilight looked around and smiled as Spike made himself comfortable upon her body. The dragon knew he could mount her without prior warning nowadays; they trusted each other implicitly. At any rate, Spike’s miserable height rendered him unable to do more than crack open his forehead in this room.
Twilight reached back and rubbed his cheek affectionately, and was rewarded with a toothy grin which left her unnaturally warm.
Celestia, flanked left by her sister and right by the evening’s controversial guest, arrived at her final formality. “Do any of our twelve here tonight have any questions or objections?” Silence reigned, answering in the negative; not even Discord deigned to lob a nervy comment.
Celestia nodded, satisfied. “Excellent. Then we may begin."
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 6 – A Heart's Blockade
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Chapter 7 – The Perfectionist Vs. The Pendulum
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