Gangsta Cupcakes

Twilight awoke to find herself staring at the sun. She clenched her eyes shut and turned away fron the blinding light. She slowly opened her eyes yet again, squinting until she adjusted to the harsh UV rays.

After regaining her sight, Twilight looked around. She didn't know where she was, or why she was there, hell at the moment Twilight couldn't really remember anything. Twilight continued to survey her surroundings. There wasn't much to see, nothing but a floor of clouds was visible to her. She slowly stood up, legs wobbling due to the soft clouds beneath her. Twilight gingerly took a step, tripping and falling to the cloud floor.

"Hello?" Twilight called into the white nothingness around her," Is anybody there?"

Almost at the exact second she finished her sentence, Twilight heard a low rumbling sound that was steadily increasing in volume. Suddenly, four enormous metal walls sprang up around her, and a floor of rainbow colored flourescent lighting rose through the clouds, giving Twilight steady footing. Twilight looked up, and also saw a large rectangle falling down from the sky.

The large metal square landed perfectly on top of the surrounding walls, completing the room. Twenty circular trap doors opened around Twilight, and several silhouettes, each in a different dance related pose, ascended slowly until they were level with Twilight.

"Bring us God!" shouted one of the silhouettes. Then, a beautiful stage with flourescent steps folded out from the far wall and a man sprang up from a large hole in the floor.

He was eight feet tall with razor sharp talons, a beautiful grey beard, and a face that would make Brad Pitt swoon in ecstasy. He was wearing a dark blue tuxedo, and a name tag that said "God"

"Welcome to heaven Twilight," God sang," Are you ready to party?"

God then turned a pitcher of water into an electric guitar and began to shred like no other. A godly disco ball descended from the ceiling, spreading delicious light across the silhouetted figures. The light revealed it to be a group of ponies, each more badass than the last.

In unison, they began to combine the Macarena with Gangnam Style. Twilight stared in bewilderment as up on the stage, Tupac took form, grabbing a microphone. He looked to twilight, and started to bust some sick fuckin rhymes.

"Twilight Sparkle's in the house now it's time to make some noise
For the little purple pony who is loved by girls and boys
All over the world niggas praise her name
I may be an awful rapper but I still like trains
My wife beats me each time I make an appearance
I'm glad I got shot, now I don't have to hear her bullshit."

Suddenly, a hole opened up in the ceiling above the stage, and Biggie Smalls descended from above.

"Yo Tupac, mah nigga, how'd it feel when you got shot?
Did you know I took a piss on your grave? I thought not!
I'm a stone cold killer, who gets bitches for free.
You shoulda never tried to take on the Big E."

Something awoke in Twilight, some inane sixth sense. She slowly made her way to the stage, taking a short step. In the the back of her mind, Twilight new what she had to do. She was no longer The Element of Magic.
She was now The Element of Rhymes!

Twilight now stood at the top of the stage, a microphone levitating in front of her.

"Tupac and Biggie, stop being little bitches,
I'm about to go apeshit and give you niggas stitches.
I may be lavender outside, but I'm black at heart.
My rhymes are razor sharp and they will rip you apart.
Biggie, you may be a fatass who is famous as can be,
but you still ain't got no money, spent it all on KFC.
Tupac baby, sorry to be mean,
But your fucking hologram had more personality.
I've saved the world three times, don't need to listen to your crap.
Cause your asses just got played by The Element of Rap."

Twilight dropped the microphone and stared at the crowd around her. The awed faces increasing her rapping power to unimaginable levels.

Tupac and Biggie both let out bloodcurdling screams as they slowly dissolved into two puddles of black liquid. Two white orbs made of pure rhyme energy floated up out of the puddles and into Twilight Sparlle, each landing on the small off her back. In an instant, Twilight was engulfed in white light.

Twilight began to transform, shapeshifting into a brand new form. Her teeth became golden, and she got a sweet grill that said "Fresh" and then she got another grill on top of that grill, which only the illest of gangstas can attain. She grew beautiful, feathery wings, each one with gold rims. Finally, a royal crown made of golden menthols appeared on her head.

The light dissipated, revealing Twilight's new form to the ponies around her. God declared her The Princess of Rap and decided to bring her back to life. So he grabbed his guitar and played Hangar Eighteen on expert mode, sending Twilight back to Equestria.

Twilight was transported to Equestria in the blink of an eye, winding up in the same spot where she died. Now that she was alive again, her memories of the horrific events that transpired in this horrible basement returned to her. Twilight grew angry, and she made her way up the basement stairs to pass judgement upon the evil Pinkie Pie.

Twilight made her way into the Cake's kitchen, finding the object of her anger devouring a plate of purple cupcakes.

"Pinkie!"

Pinkie turned to Twilight, and looked on in shock. She quickly swallowed the glob of cupcakes in her mouth and moved away from the kitchen counter.

"Twilight, how did you survive?"

"I didn't."

Twilight used her new magic to form cuffs and bolts, nailing Pinkie to the far wall.

"Pinkie, for the abhorrent acts you've commited against your own kind, I sentence you to death by rap.

Pinkie pie, I don't know why you slaughtered all your friends,
But that doesn't matter, today your killing spree will end.
You'll never see coming as I move in for the verbal kill.
I gained my rapping prowess from my skill with a quill.
Nopony will ever feel the fear you instill,
After I spill your blood,
No one could stop you but today I will."

With that last rhyme a stream of air shot out from Twilights wings, slicing Pinkie's skin to ribbons. A miniature torrent of blood spurted out out Pinkie's many cuts, pooling onto the floor. Twilight removed the cuffs that held Pinkie in place, and her pink former friend collapsed onto the ground in a bloody heap.

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Twilight enjoyed her reign over Ponyville, and eventually she teamed up with Machine Gun Kelly, and they managed to defeat Celestia in a rap battle, and overthrow her. Unfortunately Machine Gun Kelly had a cap busted in his ass, and died.

In her grief, Twilight unleashed the Black Plague upon Equestria, and they all lived happily ever after.