Chapters Prologue:
“PonyVille’s number one demolition Pegasus, at your service!” Rainbow Dash boasted.
“Uh.. Right. So do you remember what I asked of you, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight Sparkle replied.
“Yeah, of course I do! But… could you maybe remind me?” Dash lied.
Twilight sighed. This was so like Dash. But she explained anyway, saying, “I want to expand my book collection. It would be a huge help if you could knock down the northern wall of shelves so that we can expand the perimeter, thus creating plenty of space for the latest additions to my book collection.”
“Okay, that’s kid stuff. I could demolish this wall in my sleep,” Dash assured Twilight.
“Just be careful not to damage the roof or anything, got it?”
“Right,” Dash said as she secured her lucky weather patrol goggles on her muzzle and took to the sky (with rope in mouth of course).
The wrecking ball at the end of the rope was heavier than the mare had expected. At least she knew that the rope was secured tightly to it, thanks to her pal Applejack. She hesitated to build up for her first blow, but she was already breaking one heck of a pony sweat.
“Don’t worry, The Dash can do anything. I’ll be done in ten seconds flat. Piece of cake,” She reassured herself through the rope that her jaw was still clenched tightly on to.
She flew backwards as if she was winding up for the pitch, and bolted forward with speed and precision pulsing from her wings. This Pegasus had it covered. The direction the weight in her mouth was pulling shifted from behind her to in front of her, actually pulling the Pegasus a jolt forward. However, the impact was quite on target. A large portion of the wall had collapsed.
“Yeah baby!” Rainbow dash squealed with delight. She looked to Twilight for her reaction.
“That was good, Rainbow. Now just a few more knocks and then Big Macintosh is going to bring a few construction pony friends of his over after lunch,” Twilight babbled.
“Just good? That’s all you thought? Not amazingly fantastisuper? The cooliest and most awesomeful thing you’ve ever seen?” She gloated once again.
“Yes, it was good. Now, let’s move on, Spike and I are starving.”
Dash hated it when stuck up ponies didn’t realize her awesomeness. She knew she was the coolest pony in all of Equestria, so why didn’t everypony else? She had always kept the weather bright and shiny, always stuck up for her friends, and never turned her pony swag off. She was best pony, or so she convinced herself.
This next blow had to be something that would knock Twilights hoofs off so hard that Princess Celestia would feel it. She flew back, gained momentum, and raced onward as fast as she could. Which was extremely fast. The wrecking ball soared behind her and before she knew it- BOOM!
The earth seemed to shatter under that one collision. Dash could’ve sworn that even the sky shook from it. She lifted her chin up with pride and looked to the sky while waiting for her applause. However, the only sound was the sound of shock. It was emanating so loudly from Twilights facial expression that Vinyl Scratch DJ a whole album to it. She really must’ve impressed Twilight now, Dash thought.
However, when Rainbow Dash looked down at what she had done her selfish pride had drained from her body. Insecurity flowed through the space where it used to be. She dashed down to Twilight and Spike. The closer she flew, the clearer it became that there were tears in poor Twilight Sparkle’s eyes.
“Twilight, It'll be fine. I must’ve been going too fast. That’s me, ya know? The speediest flyer in Equestria,” Dash tried to reason.
“Rainbow Dash, this isn’t time for your self-centered excuses. You destroyed my home. And more importantly, my books,”
Spike looked on from the sidelines with a helpless gleam in his eyes. His hand stretched out to them and his mouth opened, as if he was going to offer some helpful gesture to them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t bear to utter a single word. He had never seen poor Twilight so sad.
“Hey, we can fix it up in a jiffy. No problem.”
“Just go. I told you to be careful and you pushed it too far. Leave,” Twilight spoke through the hot salty tears that were escaping her eyes.
Dash flew off.
Loud as Thunder
That night it rained. It doused PonyVille with more water than it’d seen in ages. The gossiping ponies had quickly assumed that Rainbow Dash had fallen asleep on the job once again. However, that wasn’t nearly the case. She was so consumed in her own anger, or what she thought to be anger, that she didn’t have time to tend to her duties.
I said I was sorry, Dash thought. Aren’t you supposed to forgive your best friends? Whatever, she’ll come back. They always come back.
But, Dash knew that wasn’t true. For some reason this situation was bothering her a lot. And even more surprising, she wasn’t really as mad at Twilight as she thought she was. This was all too confusing for her, so Rainbow Dash decided to talk to her kindest friend, Fluttershy.
Flutter always knew what to do, even when they were just little fillies in flight school. She knew exactly how to calm Dash down for an exam, how to get better if you’re sick, and what to do if somepony was angry with you. Just like right now.
On the fly over to Fluttershy’s place she contemplated telling her she was visiting for another reason, then bring up Twilight’s house some time before she left. Maybe I could tell her Tank was feeling lonely, Dash considered. Then he can play with Angel while I find a way to bring up my problem. No, it’s not a problem, per say. That would mean that I feel bad about it. But I don’t, it was an accident and I apologized. Calling it a problem would mean that I cared, which I don’t. It’s just that no pony rejects The Dash and gets away with it.
She approached Fluttershy’s door and knocked her hoof on the door several times in a special secret rhythm that only her and Flutter used. The light was on, so she fully expected an immediate answer. The door took a while to open, but when it did there was not a happy greeting waiting on the other side.
“Oh… Rainbow Dash... Hi,” Fluttershy said meekly.
“Hey, Flutter. What’s up?” Dash asked.
“Oh… Just, nothing. Doing some Spring-cleaning, maybe. It’s uh, not really a good time,” Fluttershy rambled quietly.
“It’s summer,” Dash retorted.
“Right, well, its summer cleaning. I’m going to have to ask you go, Rainbow Dash,” She mumbled shyly, looking down at her hooves.
This assertiveness did not fit Fluttershy one bit. And neither did the lying. Upon recognizing this, Dash assumed Fluttershy must be in big trouble. She dashed past Fluttershy and into the house saying, “Stop hiding and let me give you a piece of my mind, you malicious tick!”
“I… how did you know I was here,” Said none other than Twilight Sparkle.
Oh, buck. Dash had really done it this time. Now Twilight thought that Dash was calling her a tick., which was one of the biggest insults you could give a pony. Ticks can be real bastards sometimes.
“I wasn’t, I didn’t… I had no idea you were here. I was just bringing Tank over to see Angel. And when Fluttershy seemed so shaken up I… I figured that someone was holder her hostage or something.”
“Right, then where is Tank?” Twilight questioned Dash.
“I forgot him at home,” she said truthfully.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me I’m in the middle of a book. One of the ones that are still in tact, that is.”
“Hey, I said I was sorry and that’s that. I just came here to see Fluttershy, so I guess I’ll be leaving now,” Dash proclaimed with her head held high. Just like Thunder Dash had taught her.
“I thought you were the most loyal pony I knew. I guess I was wrong,” Twilight called after her as she left. And she was right.
Dash didn’t sleep very well that night. She woke up feeling sick and groggy, but she knew she had to get out of cloud and get ready to visit Cheerilee’s class for career day. She had been really excited about it all week, but she wasn’t too thrilled anymore. Weather Patrol was a fun job and all, but its hard to make little fillies believe that without a lot of enthusiasm.
Maybe she wouldn’t go. She knew she didn’t possess the enthusiasm nor the motivation to talk up Weather Patrol today. Besides, it’d be more interesting if she went to career day once she got her job as a Wonder Bolt. They were the best flyers
After a quick rain shower she made her way down to the town. Her destination was Sugar Cube Corner. If her random pal, Pinkie Pie, couldn’t cheer her up there was no way she would make it through career day. Pinkie was gripping a plate of cupcakes in her mouth to bring over to the sweets cart for selling. Something seemed off, Pinkie seemed too calm and composed. This, for pinkie, was the equivalent of any pony else when they’re down in the dumps.
“Hey, Pinkie Pie!” she tried to sound uppity.
“Oh, hey, Rainbow Dash,” She said apathetically.
“Whatchya doing’?”
“Just restocking the vending cart with sweets. I’m really busy, so I’ll see you later,” She excused herself.
“Wait, Pinkie! I was hoping we could hang out,” Dash called after her.
“I don’t see how you can be so calm after what you’ve done to Twilight,” and Pinkie left.
Guilt is a monster that reaches out to consume you. Guilt is a tsunami of black nothingness that takes you over. Guilt is Nightmare Moon’s dark wrath unleashing upon you. Guilt is a sinking feeling that Rainbow Dash had only felt once before. And it still hadn’t faded away. But she was too strong to admit it, even to herself.
She didn’t have the strength to let Cheerilee down today. She simply didn’t have it in her. So, Dash slowly made her way to the schoolhouse with her tail between her legs. She took a deep, drawn out breath before she stepped in. Just then, she realized that she hadn’t prepared anything to say. She entered an unusual state of panic for her, not being able if it was from sleep deprivation or from stress. Or maybe it was both.
“Class, put your hooves together for our special guest, Rainbow Dash!” Cheerilee introduced her.
The class applauded and Cheerilee reminded her to take the stage. Dash had been okay at improvising while she was in flight school. She never really did her reports ahead of time, so she had to be.
"I'm part of the local weather patrol here. I’m in charge of keeping the clouds clear and the storms-" Dash was interrupted.
"Well then where we're you when it was raining and messing up my mane yesterday?" asked Diamond Tiara.
"I was… " Dash's words drifted into the abyss.
Think quickly, Dash. They're all waiting for your response, she thought. Just open your mouth and let it flow.
"See, I was asked to help do renovation on my friend, Twilight's, house and she gave me the wrecking ball to demolish the north side but I kind of over did it and well... I wrecked her house. It just crumbled because I was trying to show off and impress everyone which I do all of the time when really I'm the most insecure pony i know and I guess you could say that I’m always looking for the approval of others and.. And now none of my friends will talk to me.." she babbled.
For the love of Celestia, that was not what she had wanted to say to the class. The volcano has erupted and continued to destroy everything in sight. Just like when Dash was a filly.
"Rainbow Dash, would you like a glass of water?" Miss Cheerilee asked.
"No, I'm good, I think I'll just.."
Dash backed away then sped out of the school with tears whipping behind her in the wind. She galloped her way to the Everfree Forest. She knew it was a strange place, but it was the only way to get away from every pony. With the exception of Zecora, of course.
Even at this time of day the forest was dark. It's amazing that the plants can grow with little to no sunlight. Of course, every pony knows that these aren't normal plants. They have stripes and polka dots and colors of all kinds. They grow in twists and twirls, shapes and swirls. Most importantly, they have crazy appetites.
As Rainbow Dash trotted further into the forest things began to poke at her. But as long as they were flies and not Parasprites it was okay with her. The occasional mosquito would nip at her, but they usually left her alone after one swing of her hoof.
"Rainbow Dash!" shouted a male voice in the distance.
The mare whipped around so fast that she almost lost her hoofing. Once she gained her posture she was able to pinpoint the ghostly figure that had called out to her. It was definitely not a mare, by the size of it. It looked like someone shed seen before. Maybe her brother. But it couldn't possibly be. He's gone.
"I must be seeing things. I'm seeing things, you're dead," dash tried to convince herself.
"Ey, kiddo. It's been a while," Thunder greeted.
Every detail of him was Thunder Dash. From his jet black mane with silver highlights to his stylish cutie mark. It was a full moon with storm clouds around it. She had always been jealous of it, even though her cutie mark was cool too. Anyway, if this was a hallucination it was a darn good one.
The guilt that had consumed her earlier returned. Thunder should hate her, but the stallion only seemed upset. The disappointed expression he wore towards her seemed to tell all. However, Rainbow Dash believed that she fully deserved his disappointment. The rest of the Dashs would agree.
“Thunder Dash, you may be a figment of my own imagination but I have a few things I want to say to you,” Dash said, putting one hoof forward.
“There’s nothing to say. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be alive. You changed the course of our family’s history forever, and you can’t take that back,” The mirage replied.
“But brother, I didn’t mean to it was an accide-“ Rainbow was interrupted by the abrupt disappearance of her brother, and appearance of someone else she knew.
This, however, was not the same as the last. It did not have a mind of its own, for it was a memory. The ponies in front of her were her ponyhood self and her mother. It was a memory from the funeral of Thunder Dash, she knew that much. The scene seemed very different to her because the surroundings from that day were missing. It was simply her and her mother, hooves planted on The Everfree Forest floor.
Mrs. Dash turned to her young daughter and whispered sternly, “What you did was unforgivable. You took my only son away from me with your poor judgment. I cant see why Celestia didn’t take you with him.”
Baby Dash’s eyes welled up with warm tears. That day marked a life of hatred and ridicule from her family. She would live a ponyhood quite like the one of Cinderpony. She kept quiet and did what she was told as a filly. Her grandmother had forgotten that Rainbow Dash had existed all together. She would not speak to her or cast her eyes in the same direction as her poor granddaughter.
After such a horrible upbringing her family got tired of her and sent her blank flank to flight school. For once, she felt free. She had never used her Pegasus wings at home because she was too busy with housework and chores. Flight school taught her something amazing about herself that she had never considered. She absolutely, positively loved to fly. This was, in her opinion, the best thing that had ever happened to Rainbow Dash. She could let go of all her stress and insecurity and simply take to the sky. She would have been top of her class if she hadn’t gotten tied up in the wrong crowd.
Gilda was the first person to ever approach the shy little filly. She was a great flying and helped her get her hooves off of the clouds. Dash was so eternally grateful for that and was determined to be a great friend to the griffon in return. Even if it meant helping her make trouble.
Her friend had also taught her a new way of living. As Rainbow recalled that another hallucination appeared. Her memory with her mother disappeared and in its place was one of her and Gilda. They were standing in the cafeteria of Cloudsdale High in front of a meek little filly cowering over her lunch.
“I’m hungry, twirp. Let me have some of that,” Gilda demanded of the filly.
“ It’s mine,” Said the young one.
“I don’t care, I said give it! I want to eat,” Gilda raised her voice.
“Gil, leave him alone, he just wants to eat his lunch. We can buy something later,” Dash intervened.
“Don’t you get it, Dash? This is how we assert our authority. You’re weak now, but you’ll understand soon. This is how great flyers get stronger. We need to separate the weak from the strong. You need to decide if you’re with me or not,” Gilda talked down to her.
“But, I don’t want to be mean to others to make myself strong. Isn’t there another way?”
“Were not being mean. It’s all in good fun. Isn’t it, small fry? Isn’t this funny?” The griffon addressed the shy little flight student. He nodded.
“Now, Dashy, go confiscate this dweebs lunch so the big kids can eat. Show him your rank in this school.”
And Rainbow Dash did.
Rainbow galloped away from the figments of her imagination. She was done with the forest toying with her mind. The memories were too painful for one pony to bear. Especially a pony with so much suppressed insecurity. She went in search of some water to clear her head. Finally she stumbled upon a small stream.
The water flowing through the veins of the stream seemed to have a flow to it. The sparkle of the water seemed so inviting that she dove right in, wings and all. To the pony’s surprise the water was delightfully warm. All of her muscles relaxed themselves, one by one. It made her sleepy, and her eyelids began to flutter. All of the sudden everything went dark.
Her body floated gentle with the current. It drifted on until it reached a bump in the road. More specifically, it was a large rock that emerged almost suddenly from the stream. The impact woke the slumbering pony like an electric shock. Her vision took a minute to repair itself, but when it did she had no idea where she was.
She quickly got to her hooves and pulled herself out of the evil waters. Her mane and coat were somehow dry when she arose. She shook the confused feeling it gave her and walked in search of shelter.
“This is the third time I’ve passed this rock,” She said to herself after a while. “I must be going loony. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Rainbow Crash?”
She walked as far as her tired hooves would take her, then collapsed.
“I see a pony oh so tired in need of being quite inspired,” said a familiar voice.
“Huh? Where’d that come from? Am I hearing things again?” Dash asked to the empty looking forest in front of her.
“I am not a hallucination you see. My pony friend, it is me,” replied the voice of Zecora.
Dash’s head spun around so that she could see behind her. And sure as day, there was the real zebra, Zecora, with some plants resting on her rump. She must have been collecting something for a potion, Rainbow thought. Maybe she can help me with my problem. Zecora has a way of doing that.
“Zecora, oh hi. I was just, uh, taking a power nap,” Dash stuttered.
“Dear Rainbow Dash don’t you see? You cannot hide anything from me. You are in the forest destiny, and there is a reason that you have crossed paths with Lady Z. Follow me through the trees.”
The Zebra took a few steps away, then turned her head to make sure the pony was following. Dash caught the hint and got up to follow. She hadn’t been a follower since she was a filly following in Thunder Dash’s hoofsteps. But, here she was, letting someone else lead her. Letting someone help her, which is something she had never let happen before.
They approached Zecora’s hut and the zebra knocked three times with her front hoof. Just as Dash was realizing how odd it was for her to knock on her own hut door it swung open. Answering the door was none other than Rainbow Dash’s most faithful disciple, Scootaloo.
“Rainbow Dash! Oh my gosh, its so cool that you’re here!” The filly squealed.
“Hey Scoot,” Dash faked a smile. “What are you doing here?”
“That’s top secret. The more important thing is what are YOU doing here, Rainbow Dash?”
“I’m here on an official weather team research mission. I’m studying the weather patterns of the Everfree Forest,” Covered Dash.
“If it’s a secret then why did you just tell us?” Asked Sweetie Belle from inside the hut.
“Well, uh… why are you guys here?”
“Were mixin’ up a brew with Zecora. She gonna help us get our potion making cutie marks!” Applebloom exclaimed.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash? Are you okay?” Scoot asked with one hoof elevated in submissive concern.
“Yeah, of course. I can handle anything,” Dash stuck up her snout.
“I see into your pony eyes. These words you say are plainly lies,” Zecora rhymed.
“It’s okay to be sad, Rainbow Dash,” Sweetie Belle tried to comfort her.
She couldn’t break. She wouldn’t let herself. She had tried far too hard to build this barrier between her and everypony else. The wall was tall and strong, virtually unbreakable. Just come up with something else, Dash thought.
Then Scootaloo nuzzled her muzzle under Dash’s neck. This was the moment that Dash would always remember as the day she broke. The kind of affection she had never got before shattered her titanium wall to a thousand jigsaw puzzle pieces. Somepony cared about the stubborn mare and that was more than she could handle. Warm tears drizzled down her cheek.
After Rainbow Dash put a dam on her current of tears Scootaloo spoke again. This time, however, the quiet and comforting tone of the filly’s voice could be enough to shatter said dam. The whole occurrence gave Dash a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She immediately recognized the feeling as one that had been quite constant in her fillyhood. It felt like someone was poking at a fresh would of hers.
“I…I’m sorry, guys,” she uttered the phrase she had always avoided.
“Like Scootaloo said,” Sweetie made her way over to the corner where Dash was sitting. “It’s okay to be sad, Rainbow Dash.”
“I’m not sad. It’s more of a guilty feeling. It’s a long story, you don’t want to hear it,” Rainbow Dash shook her head.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all sat their blank flanks to the ground. Something about that gesture stirred Rainbow Dash’s insides. Nopony had offered her such gestures of kindness unless they were her very closest friends. But these fillies only knew her by associating. They were mere acquaintances, yet they still cared so deeply for her.Dash did not think highly enough of herself to accept the gesture on any other day. However, on this day, she was weak and tired and just wanted it to be over.
“Thanks, guys. I just… I put some sort of mask on for others so that I’m not a bother to them. I’m always afraid that if I say how I really feel they’ll think I’m just annoying and want attention. So, to avoid them assuming things about me so I act annoying and attention seeking. I know it doesn’t really make sense, but I just don’t think as highly of myself as I let off. It’s just easier that way,” the older mare explained.
“I knew there was no way somepony could be so confident all the time,” Applebloom raised her voice.
“Yeah, even I feel insecure sometimes, “ Scootaloo admitted.
“But why now? Why did you start feeling blue about this today?” Sweetie Belle pried.
“Because I wrecked Twilights home and now she hates me,“ Rainbow Dash said as she bowed her head.
“She doesn’t hate you! She’s prolly just disappointed. Friends don’t hate other friends,” Applebloom explained.
“Of course she hates me, I’m a terrible friend. I took it too far. I broke her house. She’s probably better off without my insensitive flank anyway.”
“No she’s not. All you guys need each other. Best friends stick together no matter what,” Sweetie Belle said while looking around at her best friends.
That’s one thing that the journey had taught Rainbow Dash; one will always need their friends. She had been feeling so alone since she left town, but knowing that her only friends hated her was even worse. She adored those ponies, whether she was too stubborn to admit it or not. Too stubborn, meaning that she had sworn to herself not to let her guard down and leave herself vulnerable. Now, here she was, finally admitting it, and her friends were nowhere to be found. It goes to show that you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone.
“In order to make this whole thing right you need to apologize to Twilight,” Zecora rhymed.
“You haven’t apologized? Well no wonder she won’t talk to you, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo said obnoxiously.
The rainbow-mane pony bowed her head and said, “I had too much pride to say I was sorry. “
“Go now, and do not hesitate. If you wait any longer it might be too late,” advised Zecora.
“Right! Thank’s for all of the help guys. I… I really appreciate it,” Rainbow dashed out the door.
Dash was shaking and her heart was galloping as she stepped into PonyVille. This was the ultimate battle against her biggest fears. She knew that she had to finally be honest and vulnerable to her friend. It was something she had never done before, which made the anxiety grow. Defeating this fear was crucial to say the least. More importantly, Twilight’s forgiveness was crucial to Dash’s sanity. How would she keep her hooves on the ground without Twilight?
She headed in the direction of Fluttershy’s house, which required passing through the center of town. Without expecting it, she ran in to a familiar face. She stumbled then looked up to see whom she had bumped into so carelessly. Not only was it familiar, but also it was exactly the face she was looking for. It was none other than Twilight Sparkle and her secretary, Spike, who was riding on her back.
“Twilight, I need to talk to you,” Dash blurted out before she lost the courage.
“Rainbow Dash… You’re a mess,” Twilight pointed out.
“I know. It’s a long story. Can we go somewhere more private?”
“Fine. But make it quick, I’m on my way somewhere,” Twilight said coldly.
The pair walked to a small but clean alleyway in between a donut shop and a café. Rainbow remembered to talk a calm deep breath before spilling her guts, but her heart wouldn’t cease to pound. All she could do was hope her friend wouldn’t hate her forever.
“Twilight Sparkle, I am sincerely and honestly sorry for what I did to your home. The fault is mine, and I accept that. I knew I was taking a risk by going so fast towards your home but I did it anyway. And I’m sorry I didn’t apologize before, but my pride has a way of getting the best of me,” Rainbow explained.
Twilight sighed. It wasn’t sarcastic or bored. On the contrary, it was pure and filled with sadness. Her eyes grew glossier as the seconds passed until a complete layer of glass had formed. The purple mare stepped towards Rainbow and looked up into her large eyes.
“I forgive you,” She whispered.
Dash took a step back in astonishment. This was not one of the outcomes she had imagined. She had thought that, at best, Twilight would take a few days to consider her apology. This exceeded expectations to say the least. Plus, it gave Rainbow Dash a strange, warm feeling in her stomach.
“Rainbow Dash, you are one of my best friends, and I could never stay mad at you. Not as long as you do the right thing and apologize.”
“Thanks, Twilight,” Dash said as Twilight leaned in for a hug.
“So, shall I take a note?” Asked Spike, causing both mares to jump. The two giggled and composed themselves.
“Yes. Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight started.
“I’ll take it from here,” Dash butted in. “Recently I had to learn the hard way that hiding how you feel doesn’t always work out. Sometimes it’s best to let your friends know that you’re sad instead of holding it all inside. Friends are people who love you no matter what.”
