Icing On The Cake

CARROT CAKE

I couldn't believe this was happening.

I laid in bed that night, hugging a pillow, giggling.

What was wrong with me...

She had only kissed me on the cheek. Seriously, pull yourself together. It was a friendly gesture of being a loyal friend. She had no feelings for me. I knew she wouldn't. Moments earlier we had talked about marrying someone else. She obviously wasn't interested in me, not in the slightest.

I tried ignoring it.

I tried thinking about Fanny. That reminded me of her.

I tried thinking about the day I got my cutie mark. That only made me happier and made me think of her.

Heck, I tried thinking of why I had to pin her ex down. Seriously. That couldn't even knock me out of my good mood, I did that for her.

The sad thing is, that wasn't the first time today Fanny's brought us up.

I knew he was totally kidding and using it as a cover-up, but still... I had thought about it before. It had started scaring me. I usually kept to myself, I stayed safest that way. I hurt nobody, and nobody hurt me. I liked it that way. I didn't even know my best two friends that well...

That just made me think of Cup again.

The way she laughed, her bright pink eyes that always would sparkle when she wanted something or got what she wanted, the way she would always do out of the ordinary things... She cared for everyone. She made me laugh until I couldn't stop... The way she just recently started calling everyone dear and dearie... When she jumped up and down when she was excited...

I just then got really sad.

She won't ever love me back.

•••••

Ugh, why did I do that? That could have possibly been the weirdest thing I've ever done to one of my friends.

Now he probably thinks I like him. I don't.

Well, I'm pretty sure I don't.

And I'm always sure of myself.

Besides, he was the one who told me that I should take a break from relationships. Maybe I should actually listen to him. I'll just ignore it. It's not much of a feeling anyways.

For some reason, I wanted to tell Belle about this little feeling.

I wanted to tell Fanny too.

But I'm no jerk, I won't tell him.

I'll tell Belle. Yes. I will. But not now, it's almost midnight.

Which reminds me... Why am I not asleep? I always go to sleep early. Something was bothering me. Bothering me, quite a bit.

I couldn't stay still. I got up and paced around my room.

I couldn't think about anything else but besides how completely stupid I probably looked.

I started talking aloud. "Ugh, he probably won't ever talk to me." I whispered to myself in the mirror. He was my closest friend, and loosing him over something stupid made me sad.

Actually, loosing him in general made me really sad. Very sad, actually. I confided in him for a lot of things. He was always around more than Fanny, as a smaller foal, Fanny would always end up hurting himself, somehow, someway. He always had to stay behind as we did our adventures.

He was sick so often, actually, that everyone in town just knows us two, but not him. Some people recognize him, but not many. He was never the adventuring type as a foal. I was pretty sure both Carrot and I loved adventuring. I loved it.

Loosing all of those memories, all of my complaining, whining, dramaticness, the guy who I could laugh with to no end, scared me. Scared me to the point of crying.

He was the person I could run to if I couldn't stand my situation, and I felt like giving up. He was my reason for waking up in the morning.

I stopped in my tracks.

Is that what love is?

The picture of my friends were only a few feet away from me. I looked at them.

I wanted to find true love, but was it closer than I imagined?

Ugh, what am I talking about?

True love, gosh, what am I, a romanticist? True love is for people who are super lucky, to find their other half, and to realize it...

Besides, I had half of my life in front of me. I probably would meet so many more better, more handsome, funnier colts than him. We were just friends too.

Why am I even THINKING about this? Man, I don't even like him.

I let my eyes wander across all of our pictures.

All of the time spent laughing, giggling, make memories, making fun of each other... Was this really supposed to happen? Was this just a natural state in life, where we just go through, where we just naturally fall in love with our best friends?

Yep. It was. It'll be over soon enough.

I jumped onto my bed and fell straight asleep.

•••••

First thing in the morning, I went over to Belle's. She lived kind of a bit out of town, so it was a hike to get there. But it was worth it, the dew on the grass hadn't yet evaporated from the sun, so the ground looked like it was almost sparkling.

I knocked on her door. Good thing he wasn't her brother, I wouldn't know what I would do if he answered the door...

Her father answered, and he led me straight up to her room. She was still waking up, but I didn't care.

"Belle..."

She yawned, quite loudly. "What's up, chicken butt?"

"So I broke up with your cousin."

"High time." She rolled her eyes.

"Buutttt..." I extended my word for dramatic effect.

"Yes?"

I took a deep breath in. This would be hard and awkward. "IKissedMyBestFriendOnTheCheekAndBeforeIDidn'tLikeHimButNowI'veBeenThinkingAboutHimAllNightAndIDon'tKnowIfILikeHimNowOrNot..." It all came out in one big breath.

She instantly became alert. "Is it that one Cake?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

"Can't you do... Better? I mean, sometimes it seems like you do it just for guys and attention."

"Oh. I didn't even say I liked him, I just... It's been weird. I've been thinking about him, and I don't even want to like him, because I know I won't grow up to get married to him."

"Ew, you even thought about marrying him?!?"

"I said I wouldn't, okay? I know I'm going to find someone better... Hopefully... Soon." I sighed.

"Well, I don't know. I wouldn't get too involved with that guy. They all seem a little weird to me."

"Hey," I said defensively, "I don't care if I like them or not, those people are still my friends."

"Yeah, sure."

I rolled my eyes. "I've got to get back for breakfast. See ya later." I used any excuse I could to get myself out of there as quick as ponily possible.

I ran back to Ponyville.

My next objective was to get to Carrot's.

I rolled my eyes at myself.

Why did I always end up going back to him? No wonder I thought about liking him.

I tapped on his window again, agreeing to make it quick.

He opened his window, and I said, "Nobody hears about what I did, okay?"

He smiled, quite a bit, and nodded. I dashed off before it got awkward.

This time, I actually ran home for breakfast. My mind was running... Why was he smiling? Was I overreacting? Am I just going insane?

I bolted through the early-morning townsponies, and they got out of my way pretty quickly, seeing as I was running. I went straight up to my room, and shut the door.

I took a breather, then collapsed onto my bed.

What am I ever going to do about... Love?