The Erotic Life of the Smallest Changeling

Contains: micro, lore

Apple was gone along with much of the Hive. Oleander couldn't focus on his teaching and ended Alex's magic lessons early, his mind trapped revolving around what was happening at Canterlot without him. So the two found themselves in Chrysalis's bedroom. Oleander was, oddly enough, lying on the floor drawing circles with his hoof. Alex watched, bored and wanting something to do. They must have spent over an hour like that.

"This sucks," Oleander finally decided to say.

Alex chuckled. Seeing how he couldn't think of anything but the invasion, Alex figured they could talk about that. "You know, back home, war is almost universally considered wrong."

"Regardless of good reasons?" Oleander challenged.

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it. He didn't have a good response to that. Maybe he hadn't approached the subject the right way.

Oleander's good eye spied Alex struggling to put an idea together before he too chuckled. "Sometimes being aggressive is the only way to do what's right."

"What do you mean?"

Oleander stood with a grunt. "It's called moral gray. You could argue that us attacking the ponies is evil, but a lot of young scrubs will starve to death if we don't. Can you imagine what would happen if we walked up to the ponies and just asked them for their emotional energy?" He snorted at his own suggestion. "They'd freak out! We'd get nothing and we'd all wither away. Ponies and changelings have never had a very good relationship, even when we didn't wear disguises. Not to mention Lord Nightshade would have our heads for showing such weakness to our mortal enemies."

Alex perked his ears. "Nightshade?"

Oleander froze, his body going tense. He slowly turned his eyes towards Alex before gritting his teeth and letting out a long breath. Reluctantly, he began to explain. "God-King Nightshade is the oldest changeling alive today. He rules the Shadow Hive specifically, but he also has supreme authority over The Council."

"Council?"

Oleander licked his lips nervously. "The Council is like--every hive is run by a changeling of royal blood, but they must also represent it in a united government body called The Council. Meetings are rarely called, but they are not to be taken lightly. If one is called, it's going to be about a major issue. Something that affects every changeling across the globe."

"Wow."

"Lord Nightshade basically runs The Council and has final say in all decisions. His hive is not to be underestimated either. They are very... unique, even for changelings."

"The Shadow Hive," Alex echoed in awe. "Why are they called that?"

Oleander's reluctance to talk about them was never more apparent. A drop of sweat ran down his forehead before he continued. "The Shadow Hive... they are changelings imbued with Black Magic from birth. They have incredible physical abilities that go beyond that of normal changelings and they control more territory than any other hive. Here in Equestria, there are two other hives competing with us for the love of ponies. The Shadow Hive has an ENTIRE continent to themselves."

"How did they get so powerful?"

"Timing. It was all in the timing," Oleander said cryptically.

"Can you be a little more specific please?" Alex could tell Oleander didn't want to talk about the Shadow Hive or its leader, Nightshade, but he didn't get why.

"Lord Nightshade was clever. He got where he is today by not only ending the Feudal Era, but by making himself out to be a god just before he did so. What I'm about to tell you dates back a long way kid. To when changelings didn't disguise themselves and when we were much more forward in our methods of collecting love. To the battle of Podzamite, which changed everything."

Alex scooted forward as Oleander took a seat on the stone floor. After gathering his thoughts for a moment, Oleander proceeded to tell the oldest story in changeling history.

"Once, there was a valley nestled between two large territories. To the north were tall frozen mountains riddled with caves and tunnels. To the south was a flat desert, sweltering and baked by the sun during the day. Among the foliage of the valley between these two extremes was a rare herb called Podzamite. When ground and mixed with water, the herb can relieve pain and relax muscles. It's also highly addictive, but can be combined with other ingredients to become a powerful medicine. Throw in some magic or love energy and you have life itself in a bottle. Even the most horrific of wounds can be closed and healed in hours, if not minutes.

"Two hives controlled the regions to the north and south of the valley and for a time they had shared the supply of podzamite. But like all good things, it wouldn't last forever. The hives got bigger and the addictive nature of the herb started to take over each population. With the greater demand straining the supply, both sides began cultivating the land to try and grow the herb artificially. Where as before they had merely scavenged for the plant, now the two were actively claiming land as their own. For a few years there was plenty of space and things remained peaceful. That is, until the farms failed.

"Podzamite is not easy to grow, being such a delicate plant. When the weather gets a little ugly, the leaves fall off the stem in droves. Of course the two hives blamed each other for the bad weather and the collapse of the farms. Two hives, thousands of addicts, no drugs to give them, and two rulers just looking for excuses to take more territory. There has never been a better formula for a war, Alex. Those hives went at each other with everything they had and the valley of podzamite was flooded with blood.

"It wasn't actually a single battle, or a conventional war as you know it. At first, each side would mass together armies and march on the other's keep, but both had defenses that were just too good. They quickly learned not to attack the other's front door because it ended in massive casualties with no obvious benefit. After several failed attempts, they decided a normal war wouldn't work. In essence, they were afraid to attack each other, but at the same time not ready to let go of the valley. So they came up with a new form of fighting they called Wandering Engagement.

"This strategy called for both sides to let groups of soldiers wander around the valley for days at a time, hoping they'd run into an enemy group. If they did, they'd fight, and the winner was whoever didn't run home. It was slow with numerous casualties and made it difficult to tell who was winning. Neither side was really gaining any territory and the whole valley was just a killing floor where troops bumbled around aimlessly. Pretty soon, no one knew why they were still fighting, but pride kept them from calling it off or negotiating. All they knew is they both wanted the valley. For 50 years this went on. 50 years!

"Finally, Lord Nightshade entered the picture. He called a council meeting and had the two kings speak face-to-face for the first time in decades. Lord Nightshade, the genius that he was, convinced the two to take every last changeling they had and have an all-or-nothing showdown in the valley. No retreat, just fight to the last one standing. Both sides, desperate for victory and tired of accomplishing nothing after so long, agreed."

"So wait, after all that time being afraid to attack each other head-on, they suddenly agreed to? Just like that?" Alex interrupted.

"In the beginning, both sides had recklessly marched on the other's capital. Anyone that has ever tried to capture a hive can tell you that is a suicide mission. Hives are vast, complicated, and filled with drones. While not combat savvy, when you're outnumbered 1,000 to one, it doesn't matter. The best army in the world wouldn't get through that. And that's what happened. Any attempt to take the others stronghold was a bloodbath. They got nowhere. But when Lord Nightshade proposed and all-or-nothing approach, that included the drones. Alex, we're talking every last changeling, right down to the scrubs, going out onto a battlefield to fight for the hive.

"What Lord Nightshade proposed was the single largest battle in history!"

"They actually went through with that?"

Oleander nodded and Alex's jaw dropped. "For a week straight, nothing but carnage. The victor would walk away with the valley AND his enemy's entire hive. Not to mention the podzamite. The loser would be exterminated. Big stakes, but big rewards. Of course... that's not how it ended."

"What does that mean?"

"Really? Every last changeling fighting to the death? No nation, no species, no religion could breed such deep mindless loyalty. It was nonsense! A retreat was eventually called and the changelings of the south ran back home, no king and no soldiers left to speak of. They had nothing but drones and scrubs left, but the changelings of the north were too beaten to give chase. So they too returned home, intent on invading the other hive the next morning. After the army had a good night's sleep. They never got that chance though, because that's when Lord Nightshade made his move.

"In the dead of night, the Shadow Changelings invaded the southern hive and slit the throats of the entire population. Then, as the sun was rising, they waited outside until the other hive was within the tunnels. Then they collapsed the entire thing and buried them. In a week, Lord Nightshade had annihilated both his competitors and now had dominion over the entire continent!"

"No way..." Alex said in a daze of respect and fear. Nightshade was a brilliant strategist.

Oleander continued, in a tone that was darker than factual. "After that, Lord Nightshade seized control of The Council and called a meeting between all the remaining hives. Now that he had control of the largest territory of any hive, he declared himself the God-King of the changeling race and established new rules the others had to obey."

"What kind of rules?"

"There were quite a few," Oleander said, scratching his neck and breaking character. "Most were about recognizing him as their new leader. One of the biggest ones was about not fighting each other anymore. Those times were called the Feudal Era because there were so many wars being fought. The Battle of Podzamite was only one of dozens of skirmishes that happened back then. Lord Nightshade, by imposing control, declared that all fighting had to stop, regardless of who was right or who was stronger. In one move the Feudal Era of the changelings ended."

"He told them to stop and they just did?" Alex asked sceptically.

Oleander chuckled. "It took another year, but yes. Lord Nightshade had reasons he wanted the violence to stop, only one of them being the desire not to be challenged. After all, if another super-hive came together, he wouldn't be in charge anymore."

"Ooooooohhhhh, I see. But he was the biggest only in land-area, what about population? I bet he was stretched pretty thin."

"Ever the smart one," Oleander grinned. "Yes. In reality Lord Nightshade was not actually strong enough to hold all the land he had claimed. In reality if one of the others had attacked him it would likely have been an easy fight. But like I said, he was clever. He solved this problem by starting a reproduction program."

"Reproduction program?" Alex couldn't help but imagine people growing in test tubes.

"Yes. Every family was encouraged to have no less than six scrubs. In other words, with each generation, the population would triple! Of course, that was encouragement, most families in his hive went beyond that for the good of their new kingdom. So yes, he was short on soldiers at the time, but all he'd have to do should his power be challenged was hold out for a few years. When the mass of young came of age, he could flood the battlefield with new recruits. Not a pretty picture for anyone trying to conquer him."

"But what about today. What is the Shadow Hive like today?"

"Big," was all Oleander said.

Alex blinked. "Big?"

"Really big and in every way. The largest land area, the largest population, the most magic, and the largest love supply. You just don't challenge the Shadow Hive, they're too powerful to beat."

"If they have so much love stored up, why not ask them for some?"

Oleander licked his lips. "Lord Nightshade is not big on sharing. He doesn't like other hives or their rulers very much. Selfish, that's the word."

"Hold on," Alex held up a hoof. "You said Nightshade took control of The Council just after the Battle of Podzamite?" Oleander nodded. "But you also said that happened a long time ago."

"He's a royal changeling. Much like an alicorn, they have extremely long lives."

"How old does that make him?"

Oleander hummed as he scratched his head. He hadn't really thought about that. "Not... sure. Since changelings weren't allowed to fight each other, we all started using our natural transforming abilities to hide so we could more easily gather love. There was no reason to be seen anymore, but that's been going on for so long that... I don't know. Lord Nightshade could be as young as a few millennia or as old as the planet itself. I'm not sure anyone knows."

Alex wasn't entirely satisfied with that. "Isn't there a way to find out?"

Oleander deadpanned. "You want to call the most powerful changeling alive just to ask him how old he is?"

Alex smiled sheepishly. "Of course not..." he droned off. Silly question aside, it bugged him to think there were creatures that could live for thousands of years.

Oleander sighed. "What I wouldn't have given to be in those old days though." His gaze turned toward the ceiling. "Can you imagine it? Fighting a never-ending war for the glory of your queen?"

Alex shook his head as Oleander returned to his daydreams of conquest. That old soldier would never find rest. "But you said it yourself, those wars got them nowhere."

"That's not the point!" Oleander argued.

"Then what is?"

Oleander sighed again. "It can't be explained in words, Alex. You just have to... fight. You have to experience it. It's like... it's like a love high. Only way better."

Alex puzzled that over for a moment, turning his mind back to what he'd learned. "Oleander, Nightshade formed The Council and established all kinds of rules, but who follows them? Who runs the other hives?"

Oleander laughed. "I have no idea! I've never met a changeling from another hive except Milkweed's."

"Who's that?"

"He is the king of the Behemoth Changelings. As the name implies they are something to see." Before Alex could ask what they looked like, Oleander explained. "They're just really big versions of us, Alex. The one I met was at least eight feet of pure muscle. Even I have to admit I was intimidated."

"I'd kind of like to see one someday." Alex wished.

"Heh, that's unlikely. From what I've heard the behemoths are shy and pretty isolated."

Before Alex could ask any more, the pair were interrupted.

BANG BANG BANG

The pair jumped at the sudden assault on Chrysalis's iron door. A shout resonated through the metal immediately after.

"THE INVASION FAILED! CHRYSALIS IS HURT! YOU'RE NEEDED OUT HERE OLEANDER, NOW!!"