Shut the F**k up!
Pinkie was standing at the counter of sugarcube Corner, smiling enough to make the Jockey jealous. her eyes scanned over the counter, seeing a speck of dust, she pounced at it with a washcloth.
Glad it was gone, she put the rag away and propped her elbows onto the counter.
The bell rang, but it was only Mr. Cake returning.
"Hello Pinkie." He greeted. "Anypony come in?" He asked.
"No." She replied hastily.
"That's... Wait, nopony came in?" He asked. "But, why-"
"It's a Sunday, and the sun is out with a cloud directly over the right of town hall while shaped in a puppy, so that means nopony is going to come in today." She replied. "And you left the sign on closed."
"Right, so, why don't you go take the day off? You know, go play with your friends or save the world, the usual stuff for you."
"Okey-dokey-lokie!" She grinned. "And Mr. Cake, one more thing." She said stopping at the door.
"Yes Pinkie?" he asked.
"Shut the f**k up!" She grinned, running out the door.
He stood there, a dumfounded expression on his face.
Pinkie hopped along through the street's waving at the ponies, mules, or even the only small drake she saw.
"Hey! Pinkie, do ya want to buy some apples?" Applebloom trotted up with a smile.
"You know I don't eat anything healthy!" Pinkie giggled. "How do you think I stay so energetic?"
"Um, natural sugar in apples?" She asked.
"Apples have sugar in them!?" Pinkie gasped. "I'll take a whole basket!" She reached into her mane and pulled out a large coin purse. "Do you have any Big Mac's?" She asked.
"Eeyup!" She grinned trotting back to the cart, where Applejack and Big mac sat. He had a smug grin on his muzzle while his blonde sister was yelling at him.
"Pinkie," Applejack said carrying the basket. "Now why did ya have to go and rustle up ma'h brother's jimmies like that? Now he won't stop making... Jokes." She groaned.
"Why? Because I just like Macintosh apples, is that a crime?" She pouted. "Here, let me take that for you."
She grabbed the basket and emptied the contents into her mane. The apples fell in with a poof, completely disappearing.
"Thanks for the apples!" Pinkie grinned. "Oh, and Shut the f**k up! And have a nice day!" She grinned before bounding off.
Applejack stood there, jaw hanging loosely.
"Sis, what does that mean?" Applebloom asked.
"Ask ya brother, ah bet he knows all bout' it." She grinned. 'Ah know he does, considerin' he has all those pictures of him at that party where Twi and Celestia got a little tipsy.' She blushed, recalling it. 'Ah wonder if Luna is free tonight...?'
Pinkie was happily humming to herself, cheeks filled with apples. As she continued on, she heard something that made her blood boil partially.
"Gilda!" She hissed.
Pulling out her fake glasses and mustache, she jumped into a conveniently placed bush and began crawling towards the griffon.
Said griffon was sitting at a cafe, sipping a drink, a book in one talon while the cup was entwined with her tail. She looked over at the seat in front of her, seeing the pink mare looking at her with the glasses, she merely shrugged.
"What do you want, dweeb?" Gilda asked.
"I don't know. What are you doing back here?"
"Obviously, to get some coffee. Now scram, I don't want you near me." The griffon said impatiently.
"Well fine, then I guess I won't tell you to shut the f**k up!" She pouted as she jumped into a trashcan.
Gilda was sipping her coffee, slowly as her brain processed what had just happened. She spit it out, choking on it before catching her breath.
Pinkie was riding along in her mine cart, traveling quickly around in her tunnels underneath the town. She glanced over at the small elf next to her, he kept his gaze to the front. She sighed and inspected a hoof before being jerked forward.
"Thanks Jingle." She said giving a curt nod to him before jumping up through the hardwood floor.
When she disappeared, he slapped a small hand across his face.
"It's Jerald." He growled. "Jerald!"
Pinkie sprung up from the library floor, shooting into the ceiling she was caught in a golden aurora. Princess Celestia calmly sat her down with caution. Pinkie merely waved rapidly as the alicorn stared at her with interest.
"Hi princess Celestia!" Pinkie greeted. "Hey Twilight!" She smiled at the hyperventilating unicorn.
"P-Pinkie...!" Twilight tried to yell raggedly. "What-how-why!?" She asked. "H-How did you come out from the floor? And why?"
"I just thought I'd come by, say hi to my favorite adorkable pony." She giggled as Celestia cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, and I learned something new!"
"Yes, Pinkie," Twilight said sitting again. "I know. Mr. Cake sent me a letter. And I'm here to make sure you stop."
"Stop?" Pinkie frowned. "Why would I do that? How do I do that?"
"By stop saying that sentence." Twilight said. "Do you even know what it means?"
"Well, no, but I just made it up." Pinkie said. "F. Star. Star. K. It stands for Fundamental Starling Stationary Keedmont Bakeries." She said to Twilight's shock. "Now that I think about it, it doesn't really make sense in the way I was saying it."
"So, you weren't cursing?" Twilight asked. "Just saying the acronym for a bakery?"
"Of course silly!" Pinkie giggled bopping her on the nose. "I'm no potty mouth! Spike is the only one who drinks out of the toilet!"
"I drink out of the sink!" Spike yelled out from the second floor. "You can use a spell to check!"
"Well," Celestia spoke. "This has certainly been a better visit than the last time I was here."
"Indeed." Discord replied sipping his tea from on top the ceiling.
"I was wondering when you would show up." Pinkie pouted. "Come on Discord, we've got advertising to do!"
He snapped his talon and they both were wearing matching signs. Both of them saying the logo.
F.*.*.K!
