Wanderer in Equestria

Dash fluttered over, looking over the shoulder of Spitfire’s shoulder. She tilted her head to the side, a look of confusion on her face. “What are you doing with your pip thingy?”

Spitfire sighed. “It’s a pip-boy, and as for what I am doing, I’m going through and seeing if everything is still intact, but what I’m seeing, I’m not liking.”

Dash landed and sat down next to Spitfire. “Huh... Why is that?”

Spitfire sighed and stood up. “Well, all of my data that is stored inside of my pip-boy is there, but I don’t have a connection to a satellite here. Which means that...”

“Hey as cool as that sounds, it's actually pretty boring. So I’m just gonna go get Twi, kay? Bye!”

“Hey! Wait...” Spitfire called to the disappearing pegasus, only for her cry to fall on deaf ears.

Spitfire sighed and plopped down with a thud, “I have a feeling that a lot of sighing is going to be in my future... and questions.”

“Hmm?” Spitfire looked up and to her left. I spy one... two... three, four, five friendlies approaching.

Several minutes went by before 5 creatures made out of wood entered the clearing, one larger than the rest, the others only about the size of a regular dog. Wolves? Made out of wood? Okay, for one I thought wolves died out and just how are they made out of wood... Then again I have met a talking tree before, so wooden wolves shouldn’t bother me much.

Spitfire slowly put her hand out. “It’s okay. Come here.”

The largest wolf slowly walked up to her, constantly looking about then back to Spitfire. It sniffed her hand and nuzzled it softly.

Spitfire turned her hand over and began to scratch under the wolf’s chin. “There you go, that’s a good dog.”

The large wolf turned around to the others, “Bark! Bark!”

The other wolves then charged Spitfire and piled up on her licking her armor all over.

Spitfire giggled. “This is cute, too bad I can’t feel it.”

“Twilight, come on! You have wings, use them!”

At the sound of the new voice the wolves took off into the forest.

Spitfire sighed. “A mom and her pups... I hope them the best.”

“Twilight, are you even listening to me?”

That would be Rainbow Dash.

“UGH! Yes, I am listening to you Rainbow Dash, and again, I will tell you the same thing. I prefer to stay on my hooves so that I can concentrate on detaining whatever this thing is until the princesses get here.”

And that must be Twilight, she sounds rather exasperated at Dash. Although I don’t like the sound of being detained.

“So? If you’re on your hooves, could you at least be a little faster about it? You’re like, going so slow right now.”

“Dash, I don’t want this thing to get the jump on me. I am going slow so that I can take in my surroundings and you are not HELPING!!!”

The two ponies walking into the clearing, one that was Dash, the other was lavender with wings and a horn. Both unaware as to where they just arrived.

Dash held up her hooves and rolled her eyes. “Well, excuse me, princess, I didn’t know that you would need the help.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. “Oh you just so, did not go there.”

Dash looked down with a smirk on her face. “I so did too, ruffle your feathers?”

Spitfire quietly sighed to herself and cleared her throat. “EH, HEM!”

Both ponies jumped and took an aggressive stance before noticing Spitfire standing there with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.

“You two done? Or should I just take a seat and wait until the make up sex happens?”

Both looked at each other blushes on their faces and jaws agape, then back at Spitfire.

Dash was the first one to speak up. “Eh hehe, no, we’re done.” She was scratching the back of her neck, a blush still on her face.

“Er, um, yeah, we’re done.” Twilight spoke up with a face similar to Dash’s.

Spitfire sat down and leaned back on her hands. “Good, now then. Just so you know, I don’t take well to being detained. All you have to do is just ask, something that a lot of people tend to not do.”

Twilight tilted her head to the side. “Wait, you heard all that?”

Spitfire chuckled. “How could I not? The both of you were loud enough to scare off half the forest.”

Dash landed next to Twilight and scraped the ground with a hoof. “Yeah, we were kinda loud.”

“Yes, you were.” Spitfire turned her attention to Twilight. “And you must be this Twilight that Rainbow Dash was talking about.”

Twilight stood up straight with a glare. “Yes, I am Twilight Sparkle. I am the Element and Princess of Magic. I am here to detain you until Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrive to take you in for questioning.”

Spitfire chuckled. “You know... I only take orders from few people. Even then, I can tell them to fuck off.” Both Dash and Twilight gasped. “If I feel like it. Now then.”

Spitfire stood up to her full height, it was about then she noticed their height. The ponies only came up to about halfway to her breast plate. Spitfire cracked her neck, “I said all you have to do is ask, if you insist on using force. Then you will not like the results,” She cracked her knuckles, “Now, what’ll it be? The hard way or the easy way?”

Twilight squared her shoulders, “I am a pri-mmph”

Rainbow Dash had stuffed her hoof in Twilight’s mouth, “What she means is that we would really like it if you worked with us and just stayed put until the princesses get here.”

Twilight had a death glare aimed at Dash, “See? That wasn’t so hard. I will be willing to cooperate, just know that I will fight if I feel threatened in any way.”

Twilight pulled dash in close and whispered, “Dash! Just what do you think you are doing!?”

“Twilight, I know I might be a little hot headed sometimes,” Twilight gave Dash a deadpan stare, “Okay. So most of the time, but hear me out on this.”

Twilight sighed, “Okay, why is it that you stopped me from detaining this thing?”

Dash looked over at Spitfire, who was just standing there and watching the two of them. Before turning back to Twilight, “I just get this feeling, this vibe from that thing. That if it wanted to, it could easily beat us into a pulp. I mean, it told off a manticore like it was nothing. It wasn’t even afraid of the manticore.”

Twilight scratched her chin with a hoof. “Hmmm, well... okay. I will try to be civil with it, but only for you. And if threatens us or anypony, all bets are off, okay?”

Dash smiled. “Thanks Twi. I know this means a lot due to your royal duties and all that.”

Twilight sighed. “Don’t remind me.” She walked over to Spitfire. “Okay, I won’t detain you, but I would like a proper introduction as to who and what you are other than what Dash told me.”

“Very well,” Spitfire stood up straight and crossed her arms behind her back. “You may call me Spitfire, I am a Star Paladin in the Brotherhood of Steel chapter located in the Capital Wasteland. I Answer only to Elder and Sentinel Lyons. As for what I am, I am a human, or homo-sapien.”

Twilight had her hoof to her chin. “What is it that you do, where is this Capital Wasteland, and what does this Brotherhood of Steel do?”

Spitfire stayed quiet for a moment before speaking, “Me? Well, I do a multitude of things, but what to generalize it. I do my best to help others that can’t help themselves. As for the Capital Wasteland, it is located on the east coast of the former United States of America. Now depending on who you ask the Brotherhood’s goal is to either preserve technology or to help the wasteland be a better place to live. I serve with the latter.”

Twilight sat and teleported a quill, an inkwell, and some parchment to her side. After scribbling something on the parchment she looked it over then turned back to Spitfire. “So, you said you are a human. What’s that? Where is this United States of America? And what is this pip-boy that Dash told me about?”

“Well,” Spitfire began, “humans are primates, believed to be evolved from apes. However, this has never been proven. It's only theory. As for the United States of America, it was located on Earth. My pip-boy is this thing here on my arm.” Spitfire held up her left arm and pointed to the device on her wrist with her right.

The entire time Spitfire was speaking, Twilight’s quill was going a mile a minute. When Spitfire finished speaking Twilight went over her notes. “So... what do you mean ‘was’ for the Uni-”

“Shh!” Spitfire was looking around for something.

Twilight was startled by the interruption. “Oh, um, is something wrong?” She tilted her head to the side as she asked this question.

Spitfire kept looking about. “Something is near that isn’t going to be too friendly... You might want to wake up Dash and get ready to get out of here if something bad happens...”

“What do you mean wake up...?” Twilight’s question died in her throat as she turned around only to Dash fast asleep on the ground. “Oh...”

Twilight looked back to Spitfire. “Well, I’m sure whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

Kra-THOOM! Dust went everywhere, by the time it settled Twilight was startled by what she saw. Herself and Dash, who was still asleep, had been encased in a gold shield. While Spitfire had been pushed into a tree with such force, that she was embedded into it and being held in place by a blue aura. In the middle of the clearing were both princesses.

Spitfire groaned. Just what in the fuck happened? She opened her eyes to be met with two ponies. One navy blue, the other white, both with wings and a horn, and both of which had scowls etched on their faces and were in aggressive stances. Oh... That’swhat happened...

“So w-HELCK!” Spitfire’s sentence was cut short by an excessive amount of force place on her throat.

The blue one spoke up. “BE SILENT, FOUL DEMON!”

The white one walked up to Dash and Twilight, “Don’t worry, my faithful student. This creature can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Bu-”

Twilight was cut off, “Now you and Dash get out of here, we will deal with this... thing.”

“Ca-HRK!” Spitfire’s sentence was cut off once more.

“I SAID BE SILENT!”

Spitfire ground her teeth together. Okay, this bitch is starting to piss me off...

The white one turned around and faced Spitfire, “My my, you certainly are persistent in trying to use your vocal spells demon.”

Twilight spoke up, “Princess, I do-”

She was cut off again. “I told you and Dash to get out of here. I don’t want you and her to face the evils that this being is capable of.”

Spitfire curled her fists and tried to get her arms free. Okay, that. Is. IT. I can handle being called a thing or an it, but evil I will not stand for, not after all I have done for the wasteland.

The blue one noticed the struggle and put more power to the arms of the beast. Her breath was heavy and sweat began to form on her brow. “This one hath strength to it, sister.”

The white one casually looked to Spitfire then to the blue one, “Can you handle it, Luna?”

Spitfire smirked under her helmet. So, the blue one is Luna, and she is showing signs of strain. Good, now I know who my boot is gonna hit. So who is the white one?

Luna huffed, “Celestia, my sister, we are insulted that you doubt us.”

Celestia, huh? Well, now I know who I am clobbering when I get loose.

Celestia shrugged, “I am not doubting you, I am just wondering.” She turned her attention to Twilight, “Now, my student, GO! I will not ask again.”

Spitfire took deep breaths and prepped to take action.Okay, I can feel her weakening. I can’t hurt them too bad, what I am understanding about what Twilight told me. These two are the rulers of wherever I am at, so much for first impressions I guess.

Luna was solely focused on Spitfire and Celestia was busy giving Twilight a talking to.

Spitfire tensed up,and... NOW! As if on command her leg sprang to life and broke free with little effort. It collided with Luna’s face and sent the blue pony flying past the others.

“LUNA!” Celestia turned around only to take an armored fist to the jaw that knocked her senseless.

Spitfire pounced on Celestia, grabbing her horn, and pressing the drawn trench knife the the exposed neck.

“NOW, THEN! CAN WE JUST TALK!” Spitfire held the trench knife tightly to Celestia’s neck, but not tight enough to restrict talking.

“Why would we talk with you, demon?” Celestia’s speech was slurred slightly from the impact to her jaw.

Spitfire sighed and let Celestia go, “Because if I was a demon, I would have just killed you and your sister, I wouldn’t have saved Rainbow Dash from a manticore and healed her injuries, and I wouldn’t have bothered to answer Twilight’s questions.” She walked over and leaned on the tree with her body imprint on it. “Now then, like I kept trying to ask, can we talk this over?”

Celestia slowly got up and shook herself off. She opened and closed her mouth a few times while rubbing her jaw. “Ah, wow that hurt...” She looked over to Twilight who’s mouth would need to be picked up off the floor. Then back to Spitfire. “So, you only wish to talk?”

Spitfire nodded and crossed her arms. “That’s what I have been trying to say this whole time. For all I know, I’m not even on the same planet and I’m the alien here, only without a ship and little green men...”

Celestia gave Spitfire the look of ‘What drug are you on?’

“Sorry.” Spitfire held her hands up. “If you’d been through what I have, you’d understand.”

Celestia slowly nodded, “Uh huh. And just what have you been through?”

Spitfire sighed and plopped down on the ground, “Far too much for someone my age...”

The rather somber tone that even the voice modulator failed to cover was rather startling to Celestia.

“And just how old are you?”

Spitfire took a moment to reply, “I... I’m 21 years old, I’ll be turning 22 in about a month.”

Celestia was about to speak up until Spitfire continued talking. “I was forced to leave my home at 19, everything was peaceful until then... In a span of a few months, my father was killed in front of me, my life long friend from my original home threw me to the curb, and so much more... Honestly, I shouldn’t even be alive for all the shit I have been through...”

Celestia was stunned, her mouth opened and closed multiple times trying to find words. Only for nothing to come out. After a few minutes she finally found her voice. “Oh...” was all she managed.

Luna began to stir, Spitfire looked over to her then to Celestia. “Could you talk to her so that she doesn’t try to kill me?” Spitfire gestured to Luna.

Celestia looked to her sister. “Yes, a moment, please.”

Celestia walked over to Luna and nudged her with a foot, “Luna, hey, time to get up.”

“Ugh...” Luna groaned and slowly came to before bolting up right. “WHERE IS THA-MMPH!” Luna looked to she her sisters hoof in her mouth.

“Luna, hush, we were wrong. It’s not a demon.” Luna looked up to her sister with her head cocked to the side, confusion apparent on her face.

“You know, I don’t like being called it all that much...” Celestia and looked back to Spitfire who had opted to lay down in the grass.

“Sorry, I just don’t know what to call you yet...”

Spitfire sighed, “This means I gotta get up and introduce myself... again...” She got up and took up the same pose as before, standing straight with her arms crossed behind her back. She was eye level with Celestia, “You may call me Spitfire, I am a Star Paladin in the Brotherhood of Steel chapter located in the Capital Wasteland.” Spitfire extended her hand out. “And to whom am I meeting with?”

Celestia and Luna got up, dusted themselves off, and walked over to where Spitfire is.

Celestia spoke first, “I am Princess Celestia, I co-rule Equestria alongside my sister.”

Luna spoke next, “And We are Princess Luna, and We co-rule Equestria alongside our sister.”

Spitfire nodded. Note to self, ask about Luna’s habit of speaking in plural...

Both Celestia and Luna spoke at the same time, “Together we rule Equestria, together we control both the sun and the moon, and together we strive for peace in our kingdom.”

Spitfire nodded. “A little practiced on the introductions, huh?”

The sisters looked at each other, then back to Spitfire. Celestia spoke up. “Somewhat, yes.”

“I thought so,” Spitfire threw her head in the direction of Twilight and Dash. “What about those two?”

Luna giggled at Twilight’s face. “Tia, it would seem thy student’s mind hath broke.”

Celestia merely chuckled. “It would seem so, but I know how to fix this.”

Celestia walked over and leaned in to whisper into Twilight’s ear. “My student, your weekly report was late this week...”

The results were instant. Twilight blinked and turned to her mentor. “Wha... bu... how? I just sent it in yesterday! It can’t be late! It just CAN’T!” Twilight was breathing rapidly, her eyes had dilated, and had an eye twitch going. Until Celestia said the magic word.

Celestia smirked. “Gotcha.” Twilight looked at her mentor to process the word that just flew from Celestia’s mouth. The face of the lavender pony went through a myriad of emotions before she finally crossed her hooves, puffed her cheeks out, scrunched her nose, and stuck her bottom lip out in what looked to be an angry pout.

Spitfire chuckled at the display. Celestia nuzzled Twilight. “So, my student, didn’t like my little joke?”

Twilight huffed. “No.”

Celestia chuckled. “Don’t worry, you’ll learn to take it in stride and get me back. Now can you take Rainbow Dash home, please?”

Twilight scoffed. “Please, there’s no need. Watch this.”

Twilight walked over and nudged Dash in the shoulder. “Dash you need to get up and go home. If you don't, then I will be dropping you off at Rarity’s to be her live dress-up doll.”

Dash groaned and got up. “Okay, okay... I’m going, sheesh, no need to be mean about it...” The pegasus slowly flew off towards her house.

Twilight had a smirk as she walked over to Celestia and Luna, “See? No carrying involved, and this way, I can escort Spitfire to my house to answer questions.” Twilight happily clapped her hooves together. Both princesses looked at eachother then to Spitfire.

Spitfire shrugged. “Eh, how bad can it be?”

At this Luna was trying not to laugh and even Celestia’s famed poker face was cracking as she spoke up. “Well... It seems that you won’t be going anywhere for awhile, so for now, you will be staying with Twilight. We will keep in touch. Bye!” With that both princesses left in a flash.

Spitfire scratched the side of her head. “I wonder what they meant by that?” She was engulfed a purple aura, and in an instant she found herself in a wood room staring at a number of things that Spitfire noticed in this order: a stack of parchment that was at least four feet high, a large number of inkwells, so many quills it wasn’t even funny, and a VERY happy looking Twilight sitting on a pillow already with a quill, an inkwell, and parchment in the grasp of her magic.

You know... My wasteland sense is tingling right about now and it's telling me that this was a bad idea.

“Eh heh heh... so, um, just what did you want to know, Twilight?”

Twilight merely smiled and forcibly sat Spitfire down. “Oh, I want to know about everything.” Twilight said the last word of her sentence with an unnecessary amount of force behind it, with what would be called a face splitting grin and a gleam in her eyes that would blind a bat.

Spitfire could think of only one thing to do.

She gulped. Oh boy...