Wanderer in Equestria

by slayerdemons

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 5576

With a mission gone bad, the lone wanderer finds herself in an unknown land. Only this land is filled with ponies and has little use for people like her.

Forewarning: I stink at writing, language is a big thing here (as in lots of foul language from a certain human), the mature chapters will come later and be marked.
After a mission against the Enclave goes south, The Lone wanderer finds herself in a lush and colorful land where she must find a place where she can fit in. She must do what she has always done: adapt and survive. Only this time, there's no violence involved. Or so she thought

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-12 23:34:34 UTC

Arrival

“Sarah... you have got to be shitting me, right?”

“Allison, if I was, I wouldn’t be here at three in the morning with a vertibird.”

She let out a short sigh. “Fuck. Okay, give me ten to get my shit together.”

“I’ll be here.”

_______________________________________________________________

Just what is taking that woman so long? She’s usually got her shit all together by now.

Here she comes, why did she have the deadbo....

“Ho... ly... shit. Spitfire, what in the hell are you wearing, and where can I get some?”

The reply came back in a menacing tone that made Sarah’s skin crawl.

“Right now, that doesn’t matter. Where’s the bird at, if the Enclave are back? Then my boot needs to find its way up their ass.”

“Okay, sheesh. Don’t need to get snappy about it, the bird is just out front. So, ready then?”

“Dogmeat, stay here.”

A whimper.

“Yup. Let’s head out.”

The heavy boots from the pair made heavy thuds on the metal and dirt as they made their way outside of megaton. They got in the vertibird. “What the...? Is the whole pride here, Sarah?”

“Yes, it is, now GET YOUR BIG ASS OUT OF THE DOOR!”

“Oops, sorry,” she settled into the seat next to Kodiak.

“Nice armor. Got enough weapons, do ya?”

“Thanks, and no, Kodiak. In the Wasteland, you can never have enough weapons.”

“Too true... Too true,” Sarah climbed in the co-pilots seat and the vertibird took to the air in a northeastern direction.

________________________________________________________________

“Edwards, keep us low and fast. OKAY PRIDE! LISTEN UP!” All eyes turned to Sarah as she stood up.

“The Enclave has set up in a new location and it's our job to snuff them out. We are at an old military base known as Fort Meade. Before the war, this base was central to intelligence. Supposedly, they had been working on an experimental weapon before the bombs dropped. Rothchild believes it to be a long range teleportation device...”

“Wait...” Spitfire interrupted. “You mean to tell us that the Enclave might have a machine that allows them to teleport? More importantly, to where?”

“Yes, they might. As to where? From what Rothchild told me, it could be anywhere. They could teleport to the other side of the country if they felt like it, or right into the middle of the citadel.”

“That’s bad.”

“Yes. Thank you, Colvin, for pointing out the obvious. Now, if we can take out the Enclave without damaging the teleporter, then good. If not, then we are to sabotage it, and still take out the Enclave.”

____________________________________________________________________

About an hour later...

“GO! GO! GO! GET BACK TO THE VERTIBIRD!”

“Shit, SARAH! THEY’RE TRYING TO FIX THE TELEPORTER BEFORE IT GOES CRIT!”

“FUCK IT, SPIT! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT GOES!? NOW GET ON BOARD, WE’RE WAITING ON YOU!”

If they get that teleporter fixed, it's gonna be downhill from there...

“SPIT, COME ON!”

I have to see this through. I can’t let them get the teleporter fixed. “I’M NOT GOING, WE CAN’T HAVE THEM FIX THAT TELEPORTER!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!?! GET IN THE BIRD, THATS AN ORDER!”

“SORRY SARAH... GO! IF I MAKE IT, YOU CAN CHEW ME OUT THEN!”

“Son of a...” Sarah muttered as she watched her best soldier go.

“Sarah, we have to go! Where is Spitfire?”

“She’s not coming, Edwards, take us out to a safe distance!”

“Yes, ma'am...” The vertibird doors closed as it took off and flew away.

___________________________________________________________________

“SORRY SARAH... GO! IF I MAKE IT, YOU CAN CHEW ME OUT THEN!” She turned tail and began storming back to the teleporter, blasting the Enclave that were chasing her with her gauss rifle.

I really am sorry guys... she thought as she saw the vertibird lift off and fly away.

She continued working her way to the teleport pad. When she made it, she saw three Enclave scientists working hard to stop the pad from going critical and destroying itself.

“Almost there! How long do we have?”

“Three minutes until she blows.”

“We gonna make it?”

“Nope.” All three scientists turned to the fourth voice only have a lobotomy by bullet.

Well, that takes care of that. She got onto the platform and continued to kill any Enclave stupid enough to show themselves.

Slowly the pad began to glow brighter and brighter. The automated system began to count down until meltdown at sixty second until total meltdown.

“FIVE... FOUR...”

Well, looks like my time is up. She looked holstered her weapon and resigned to her fate.

“THREE... TWO... ONE...”

____________________________________________________________________

Sarah stood watching through the open door as the vertibird hovered at a far distance from the base.

If feels like I’m watching a funeral...

The first thing that came was the flash, she had to shut her eyes. Then the sound wave shook the craft. By the time Sarah looked back, a nice hole in the ground was all there was to greet her.

She sighed as she shut the door.

“Edwards... Take us home. We just lost the best thing that ever happened to the Pride...”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“No...”

“Gallows?”

“Not just to the Pride, to the whole capital wasteland...” Sarah nodded in agreement, the rest of the ride was in silence.

Why did she have to do that? Why...?

“Ma’am? We’re back at the citadel.”

“kay...” As they disembarked, they were met by Elder Lyons.

“Sarah, when we saw the cloud, I had feared the worst.” His smile had begun to fade as he noticed the rather somber mood they were in.

“What happened, why the dark mood?”

“Dad... It's Allison...” Try as she might, she began to tear up at the loss of her closest friend.

“Oh, no...”

“She... she didn’t make it. She had stayed behind to ensure that the Enclave couldn’t finish stop the teleporter from destroying itself...”

“I... I see... This truly is a loss for all of us...” he said in a rather sad tone, something that had become a rarity.

For the next month all of the wasteland had mourned the loss of it's living guardian angel.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Uuuuuuuuuggh....”

Why, heartbeat, WHY must you hurt my head so...? Ugh, it feels like that one time I got irradiated for moria way back, except worse... I really wish those birds would shut the he... Wait, birds?

With a grunt and a groan she opened her eyes and sat up.

Ah! And it's coupled with a hangover that rivals that one time I drank a whole jug of moonshine. Man, that was a bad idea...

She looked around to get her bearings, what she saw made her double take.

Trees? This isn’t an oasis, the trees look different. Then how...?

Her thought process was cut short by a loud roar followed by a scream.

She sighed. I guess even when you’re dead, people need saving. Well, best get going.

After a short trek following the sounds of the fight, two friendly blips showed up on the compass.

When she came to the clearing, what she saw made her mind skip a bit.

What. In. The. Fuck. Is that!?! It's got a scorpion tail and the body of a yao...

“SOMEPONY HELP ME!”

Her attention went to the cry for help. Is that a pony? That’s blue!? With WINGS?!?! What in the hell...?! And it looks like it favoring a leg and broke a wing, with some nice bruising on the chest. Whelp, better late than never.

“HEY!”

The shout startled both creatures.

A lion head? Wow, who put this thing together...?

“Step away from the pony.”

The lion headed creature looked between the pony and the new intruder before huffing. It sat back from the pony and eyed the new creature.

Man, I love the animal friend perk.

“Good, now shoo.” She waved her hands at the lion thing. It growled and walked off. She turned her attention to the pony who was looking right at her.

“W-w-what are you?” She asked putting on a fake bravado that didn’t go well with that stutter.

Trying to be brave, huh? Cute.

“I will answer that after you let me get a look at those injuries.”

“No way am I letting a monster near me, you just want to eat me!”

Monster?

“If I was a monster, I would have just killed you and the... lion... thingy.” She waved a hand in the general direction that said lion thing had left.

“You mean that manticore?”

Manticore? Well, it's not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me, I guess.

“Yeah, that thing.”

It eyed her before speaking up. “Okay, I guess. Just no funny business you... thing.”

“Ouch, called a thing. By the way, name’s Spitfire.” She stated as she walked towards the blue winged pony.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, the Fastest flier in - AH! What the hay!?” She cringed as the stranger touched her broken wing.

“I need to inspect your wing and leg, and I can’t do that properly if I don’t touch it. I can’t just look at it and know.”

“What, don’t know pegasi well enough?”

Ah, so she is a pegasus. I thought those were only myth?

“No, I don’t. Now are you going to hush up and let me take a look?” Dash harrumphed and nodded.

“Good, now hold still. I don’t know how much this will hurt...”

“Okay.”

Spitfire reached out and gently inspected the wing. Dash had stayed still, but she hissed through her teeth.

Hmm, well the wing isn’t broke... just looks like it dislocated at the shoulder joint on her back. Judging by her reaction to me just barely moving it, it’s gonna hurt putting it back in. Now the leg.

“Okay now your leg.” She adjusted to get a better view of Dash’s leg, who had put her leg out a bit for inspection.

Okay, good, it's not broke. Just fractured.

“You’re lucky, you know that?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the damage isn’t too severe. Your wing is only dislocated and your leg is only fractured, but nothing’s broken.”

Dash looked at herself then to Spitfire. “You figured that out all by looking and touching?”

“Yup, but we have to do your wing first. Judging by your reaction I am guessing putting it back into its joint, it's going to hurt.”

“Yeah, it is, I’ve done it before... Just be quick okay?”

“I will. Let me know when you're ready.”

Dash took a breath and nodded. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Hold up, here, bite this.”

Dash looked and saw a stick in front of her. “Why?”

“It helps, trust me.”

“Okay...” Dash hesitantly bit into the stick.

Spitfire took up a position next to Dash. “Ready?”

“Mhm.”

Spitfire moved like lightning, popping the wing back into it's joint.

“MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!” Dash bit the stick hard as it muffled her scream.

“I know it hurts, but at least your wing is back in its joint.”

Dash took a shuddering breath and spat the stick out. “That bucking hurt.”

Spitfire pulled out a syringe and jabbed Dash in the side, quickly sinking the plunger all the way down before she could react.

“AHHH!” Dash rounded on the stranger who stuck her with a needle. “WHAT WAS TH... that... feels really weird, yet I feel really good right now.”

“Sorry about that, I find it easier to do that instead of tell the person. Just in case.”

“What was that stuff?” Dash was testing her leg and wing, only find that they were all better.

“That was a stimpak, it heals small wounds and such.”

“Wow, I feel awesome!”

“Thats good, now. Do you think you could point me in the direction of the closest town?”

“Sure, I could lead you there now, but...”

“But what?”

“I don’t know how ponies would react to ya, I mean you look scary and your voice just adds to it. It doesn’t scare me though, I’m not scared of anything.”

“Uh huh, sure you’re not. And there are more like you?”

“Oh yeah, and not just pegasi either. There’s also unicorns and earth ponies too.”

“Huh...”

“I’ll take ya to Ponyville, but we gotta have Twilight see you first.”

“Who’s Twilight?”

“She’s a friend of mine and one of the smartest ponies there is.”

Spitfire shrugged. “Okay, just let me check my pip-boy real quick and see what all I’ve got with me.”

“Your what?”

“Pip-boy.”

“O...kay?”

Spitfire went about going through her pip-boy menus to see what all she had, and this is what she saw...

Introductions

Dash fluttered over, looking over the shoulder of Spitfire’s shoulder. She tilted her head to the side, a look of confusion on her face. “What are you doing with your pip thingy?”

Spitfire sighed. “It’s a pip-boy, and as for what I am doing, I’m going through and seeing if everything is still intact, but what I’m seeing, I’m not liking.”

Dash landed and sat down next to Spitfire. “Huh... Why is that?”

Spitfire sighed and stood up. “Well, all of my data that is stored inside of my pip-boy is there, but I don’t have a connection to a satellite here. Which means that...”

“Hey as cool as that sounds, it's actually pretty boring. So I’m just gonna go get Twi, kay? Bye!”

“Hey! Wait...” Spitfire called to the disappearing pegasus, only for her cry to fall on deaf ears.

Spitfire sighed and plopped down with a thud, “I have a feeling that a lot of sighing is going to be in my future... and questions.”

“Hmm?” Spitfire looked up and to her left. I spy one... two... three, four, five friendlies approaching.

Several minutes went by before 5 creatures made out of wood entered the clearing, one larger than the rest, the others only about the size of a regular dog. Wolves? Made out of wood? Okay, for one I thought wolves died out and just how are they made out of wood... Then again I have met a talking tree before, so wooden wolves shouldn’t bother me much.

Spitfire slowly put her hand out. “It’s okay. Come here.”

The largest wolf slowly walked up to her, constantly looking about then back to Spitfire. It sniffed her hand and nuzzled it softly.

Spitfire turned her hand over and began to scratch under the wolf’s chin. “There you go, that’s a good dog.”

The large wolf turned around to the others, “Bark! Bark!”

The other wolves then charged Spitfire and piled up on her licking her armor all over.

Spitfire giggled. “This is cute, too bad I can’t feel it.”

“Twilight, come on! You have wings, use them!”

At the sound of the new voice the wolves took off into the forest.

Spitfire sighed. “A mom and her pups... I hope them the best.”

“Twilight, are you even listening to me?”

That would be Rainbow Dash.

“UGH! Yes, I am listening to you Rainbow Dash, and again, I will tell you the same thing. I prefer to stay on my hooves so that I can concentrate on detaining whatever this thing is until the princesses get here.”

And that must be Twilight, she sounds rather exasperated at Dash. Although I don’t like the sound of being detained.

“So? If you’re on your hooves, could you at least be a little faster about it? You’re like, going so slow right now.”

“Dash, I don’t want this thing to get the jump on me. I am going slow so that I can take in my surroundings and you are not HELPING!!!”

The two ponies walking into the clearing, one that was Dash, the other was lavender with wings and a horn. Both unaware as to where they just arrived.

Dash held up her hooves and rolled her eyes. “Well, excuse me, princess, I didn’t know that you would need the help.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. “Oh you just so, did not go there.”

Dash looked down with a smirk on her face. “I so did too, ruffle your feathers?”

Spitfire quietly sighed to herself and cleared her throat. “EH, HEM!”

Both ponies jumped and took an aggressive stance before noticing Spitfire standing there with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.

“You two done? Or should I just take a seat and wait until the make up sex happens?”

Both looked at each other blushes on their faces and jaws agape, then back at Spitfire.

Dash was the first one to speak up. “Eh hehe, no, we’re done.” She was scratching the back of her neck, a blush still on her face.

“Er, um, yeah, we’re done.” Twilight spoke up with a face similar to Dash’s.

Spitfire sat down and leaned back on her hands. “Good, now then. Just so you know, I don’t take well to being detained. All you have to do is just ask, something that a lot of people tend to not do.”

Twilight tilted her head to the side. “Wait, you heard all that?”

Spitfire chuckled. “How could I not? The both of you were loud enough to scare off half the forest.”

Dash landed next to Twilight and scraped the ground with a hoof. “Yeah, we were kinda loud.”

“Yes, you were.” Spitfire turned her attention to Twilight. “And you must be this Twilight that Rainbow Dash was talking about.”

Twilight stood up straight with a glare. “Yes, I am Twilight Sparkle. I am the Element and Princess of Magic. I am here to detain you until Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrive to take you in for questioning.”

Spitfire chuckled. “You know... I only take orders from few people. Even then, I can tell them to fuck off.” Both Dash and Twilight gasped. “If I feel like it. Now then.”

Spitfire stood up to her full height, it was about then she noticed their height. The ponies only came up to about halfway to her breast plate. Spitfire cracked her neck, “I said all you have to do is ask, if you insist on using force. Then you will not like the results,” She cracked her knuckles, “Now, what’ll it be? The hard way or the easy way?”

Twilight squared her shoulders, “I am a pri-mmph”

Rainbow Dash had stuffed her hoof in Twilight’s mouth, “What she means is that we would really like it if you worked with us and just stayed put until the princesses get here.”

Twilight had a death glare aimed at Dash, “See? That wasn’t so hard. I will be willing to cooperate, just know that I will fight if I feel threatened in any way.”

Twilight pulled dash in close and whispered, “Dash! Just what do you think you are doing!?”

“Twilight, I know I might be a little hot headed sometimes,” Twilight gave Dash a deadpan stare, “Okay. So most of the time, but hear me out on this.”

Twilight sighed, “Okay, why is it that you stopped me from detaining this thing?”

Dash looked over at Spitfire, who was just standing there and watching the two of them. Before turning back to Twilight, “I just get this feeling, this vibe from that thing. That if it wanted to, it could easily beat us into a pulp. I mean, it told off a manticore like it was nothing. It wasn’t even afraid of the manticore.”

Twilight scratched her chin with a hoof. “Hmmm, well... okay. I will try to be civil with it, but only for you. And if threatens us or anypony, all bets are off, okay?”

Dash smiled. “Thanks Twi. I know this means a lot due to your royal duties and all that.”

Twilight sighed. “Don’t remind me.” She walked over to Spitfire. “Okay, I won’t detain you, but I would like a proper introduction as to who and what you are other than what Dash told me.”

“Very well,” Spitfire stood up straight and crossed her arms behind her back. “You may call me Spitfire, I am a Star Paladin in the Brotherhood of Steel chapter located in the Capital Wasteland. I Answer only to Elder and Sentinel Lyons. As for what I am, I am a human, or homo-sapien.”

Twilight had her hoof to her chin. “What is it that you do, where is this Capital Wasteland, and what does this Brotherhood of Steel do?”

Spitfire stayed quiet for a moment before speaking, “Me? Well, I do a multitude of things, but what to generalize it. I do my best to help others that can’t help themselves. As for the Capital Wasteland, it is located on the east coast of the former United States of America. Now depending on who you ask the Brotherhood’s goal is to either preserve technology or to help the wasteland be a better place to live. I serve with the latter.”

Twilight sat and teleported a quill, an inkwell, and some parchment to her side. After scribbling something on the parchment she looked it over then turned back to Spitfire. “So, you said you are a human. What’s that? Where is this United States of America? And what is this pip-boy that Dash told me about?”

“Well,” Spitfire began, “humans are primates, believed to be evolved from apes. However, this has never been proven. It's only theory. As for the United States of America, it was located on Earth. My pip-boy is this thing here on my arm.” Spitfire held up her left arm and pointed to the device on her wrist with her right.

The entire time Spitfire was speaking, Twilight’s quill was going a mile a minute. When Spitfire finished speaking Twilight went over her notes. “So... what do you mean ‘was’ for the Uni-”

“Shh!” Spitfire was looking around for something.

Twilight was startled by the interruption. “Oh, um, is something wrong?” She tilted her head to the side as she asked this question.

Spitfire kept looking about. “Something is near that isn’t going to be too friendly... You might want to wake up Dash and get ready to get out of here if something bad happens...”

“What do you mean wake up...?” Twilight’s question died in her throat as she turned around only to Dash fast asleep on the ground. “Oh...”

Twilight looked back to Spitfire. “Well, I’m sure whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

Kra-THOOM! Dust went everywhere, by the time it settled Twilight was startled by what she saw. Herself and Dash, who was still asleep, had been encased in a gold shield. While Spitfire had been pushed into a tree with such force, that she was embedded into it and being held in place by a blue aura. In the middle of the clearing were both princesses.

Spitfire groaned. Just what in the fuck happened? She opened her eyes to be met with two ponies. One navy blue, the other white, both with wings and a horn, and both of which had scowls etched on their faces and were in aggressive stances. Oh... That’swhat happened...

“So w-HELCK!” Spitfire’s sentence was cut short by an excessive amount of force place on her throat.

The blue one spoke up. “BE SILENT, FOUL DEMON!”

The white one walked up to Dash and Twilight, “Don’t worry, my faithful student. This creature can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Bu-”

Twilight was cut off, “Now you and Dash get out of here, we will deal with this... thing.”

“Ca-HRK!” Spitfire’s sentence was cut off once more.

“I SAID BE SILENT!”

Spitfire ground her teeth together. Okay, this bitch is starting to piss me off...

The white one turned around and faced Spitfire, “My my, you certainly are persistent in trying to use your vocal spells demon.”

Twilight spoke up, “Princess, I do-”

She was cut off again. “I told you and Dash to get out of here. I don’t want you and her to face the evils that this being is capable of.”

Spitfire curled her fists and tried to get her arms free. Okay, that. Is. IT. I can handle being called a thing or an it, but evil I will not stand for, not after all I have done for the wasteland.

The blue one noticed the struggle and put more power to the arms of the beast. Her breath was heavy and sweat began to form on her brow. “This one hath strength to it, sister.”

The white one casually looked to Spitfire then to the blue one, “Can you handle it, Luna?”

Spitfire smirked under her helmet. So, the blue one is Luna, and she is showing signs of strain. Good, now I know who my boot is gonna hit. So who is the white one?

Luna huffed, “Celestia, my sister, we are insulted that you doubt us.”

Celestia, huh? Well, now I know who I am clobbering when I get loose.

Celestia shrugged, “I am not doubting you, I am just wondering.” She turned her attention to Twilight, “Now, my student, GO! I will not ask again.”

Spitfire took deep breaths and prepped to take action.Okay, I can feel her weakening. I can’t hurt them too bad, what I am understanding about what Twilight told me. These two are the rulers of wherever I am at, so much for first impressions I guess.

Luna was solely focused on Spitfire and Celestia was busy giving Twilight a talking to.

Spitfire tensed up,and... NOW! As if on command her leg sprang to life and broke free with little effort. It collided with Luna’s face and sent the blue pony flying past the others.

“LUNA!” Celestia turned around only to take an armored fist to the jaw that knocked her senseless.

Spitfire pounced on Celestia, grabbing her horn, and pressing the drawn trench knife the the exposed neck.

“NOW, THEN! CAN WE JUST TALK!” Spitfire held the trench knife tightly to Celestia’s neck, but not tight enough to restrict talking.

“Why would we talk with you, demon?” Celestia’s speech was slurred slightly from the impact to her jaw.

Spitfire sighed and let Celestia go, “Because if I was a demon, I would have just killed you and your sister, I wouldn’t have saved Rainbow Dash from a manticore and healed her injuries, and I wouldn’t have bothered to answer Twilight’s questions.” She walked over and leaned on the tree with her body imprint on it. “Now then, like I kept trying to ask, can we talk this over?”

Celestia slowly got up and shook herself off. She opened and closed her mouth a few times while rubbing her jaw. “Ah, wow that hurt...” She looked over to Twilight who’s mouth would need to be picked up off the floor. Then back to Spitfire. “So, you only wish to talk?”

Spitfire nodded and crossed her arms. “That’s what I have been trying to say this whole time. For all I know, I’m not even on the same planet and I’m the alien here, only without a ship and little green men...”

Celestia gave Spitfire the look of ‘What drug are you on?’

“Sorry.” Spitfire held her hands up. “If you’d been through what I have, you’d understand.”

Celestia slowly nodded, “Uh huh. And just what have you been through?”

Spitfire sighed and plopped down on the ground, “Far too much for someone my age...”

The rather somber tone that even the voice modulator failed to cover was rather startling to Celestia.

“And just how old are you?”

Spitfire took a moment to reply, “I... I’m 21 years old, I’ll be turning 22 in about a month.”

Celestia was about to speak up until Spitfire continued talking. “I was forced to leave my home at 19, everything was peaceful until then... In a span of a few months, my father was killed in front of me, my life long friend from my original home threw me to the curb, and so much more... Honestly, I shouldn’t even be alive for all the shit I have been through...”

Celestia was stunned, her mouth opened and closed multiple times trying to find words. Only for nothing to come out. After a few minutes she finally found her voice. “Oh...” was all she managed.

Luna began to stir, Spitfire looked over to her then to Celestia. “Could you talk to her so that she doesn’t try to kill me?” Spitfire gestured to Luna.

Celestia looked to her sister. “Yes, a moment, please.”

Celestia walked over to Luna and nudged her with a foot, “Luna, hey, time to get up.”

“Ugh...” Luna groaned and slowly came to before bolting up right. “WHERE IS THA-MMPH!” Luna looked to she her sisters hoof in her mouth.

“Luna, hush, we were wrong. It’s not a demon.” Luna looked up to her sister with her head cocked to the side, confusion apparent on her face.

“You know, I don’t like being called it all that much...” Celestia and looked back to Spitfire who had opted to lay down in the grass.

“Sorry, I just don’t know what to call you yet...”

Spitfire sighed, “This means I gotta get up and introduce myself... again...” She got up and took up the same pose as before, standing straight with her arms crossed behind her back. She was eye level with Celestia, “You may call me Spitfire, I am a Star Paladin in the Brotherhood of Steel chapter located in the Capital Wasteland.” Spitfire extended her hand out. “And to whom am I meeting with?”

Celestia and Luna got up, dusted themselves off, and walked over to where Spitfire is.

Celestia spoke first, “I am Princess Celestia, I co-rule Equestria alongside my sister.”

Luna spoke next, “And We are Princess Luna, and We co-rule Equestria alongside our sister.”

Spitfire nodded. Note to self, ask about Luna’s habit of speaking in plural...

Both Celestia and Luna spoke at the same time, “Together we rule Equestria, together we control both the sun and the moon, and together we strive for peace in our kingdom.”

Spitfire nodded. “A little practiced on the introductions, huh?”

The sisters looked at each other, then back to Spitfire. Celestia spoke up. “Somewhat, yes.”

“I thought so,” Spitfire threw her head in the direction of Twilight and Dash. “What about those two?”

Luna giggled at Twilight’s face. “Tia, it would seem thy student’s mind hath broke.”

Celestia merely chuckled. “It would seem so, but I know how to fix this.”

Celestia walked over and leaned in to whisper into Twilight’s ear. “My student, your weekly report was late this week...”

The results were instant. Twilight blinked and turned to her mentor. “Wha... bu... how? I just sent it in yesterday! It can’t be late! It just CAN’T!” Twilight was breathing rapidly, her eyes had dilated, and had an eye twitch going. Until Celestia said the magic word.

Celestia smirked. “Gotcha.” Twilight looked at her mentor to process the word that just flew from Celestia’s mouth. The face of the lavender pony went through a myriad of emotions before she finally crossed her hooves, puffed her cheeks out, scrunched her nose, and stuck her bottom lip out in what looked to be an angry pout.

Spitfire chuckled at the display. Celestia nuzzled Twilight. “So, my student, didn’t like my little joke?”

Twilight huffed. “No.”

Celestia chuckled. “Don’t worry, you’ll learn to take it in stride and get me back. Now can you take Rainbow Dash home, please?”

Twilight scoffed. “Please, there’s no need. Watch this.”

Twilight walked over and nudged Dash in the shoulder. “Dash you need to get up and go home. If you don't, then I will be dropping you off at Rarity’s to be her live dress-up doll.”

Dash groaned and got up. “Okay, okay... I’m going, sheesh, no need to be mean about it...” The pegasus slowly flew off towards her house.

Twilight had a smirk as she walked over to Celestia and Luna, “See? No carrying involved, and this way, I can escort Spitfire to my house to answer questions.” Twilight happily clapped her hooves together. Both princesses looked at eachother then to Spitfire.

Spitfire shrugged. “Eh, how bad can it be?”

At this Luna was trying not to laugh and even Celestia’s famed poker face was cracking as she spoke up. “Well... It seems that you won’t be going anywhere for awhile, so for now, you will be staying with Twilight. We will keep in touch. Bye!” With that both princesses left in a flash.

Spitfire scratched the side of her head. “I wonder what they meant by that?” She was engulfed a purple aura, and in an instant she found herself in a wood room staring at a number of things that Spitfire noticed in this order: a stack of parchment that was at least four feet high, a large number of inkwells, so many quills it wasn’t even funny, and a VERY happy looking Twilight sitting on a pillow already with a quill, an inkwell, and parchment in the grasp of her magic.

You know... My wasteland sense is tingling right about now and it's telling me that this was a bad idea.

“Eh heh heh... so, um, just what did you want to know, Twilight?”

Twilight merely smiled and forcibly sat Spitfire down. “Oh, I want to know about everything.” Twilight said the last word of her sentence with an unnecessary amount of force behind it, with what would be called a face splitting grin and a gleam in her eyes that would blind a bat.

Spitfire could think of only one thing to do.

She gulped. Oh boy...