*LETTER FROM TWILIGHT SPARKLE TO PRINCESS CELESTIA*

My most wise teacher,

I have troubling news regarding Drifter. Today, for who knows what reason, Small Fry decided to... welcome our newest resident by spitting upon him. Needless to say, he was (excuse my French) pissed off! At first, we thought Drifter would just let it go, and be the bigger stallion... But that wasn't the case; after wiping the saliva from his face, Drifter picked the other stallion up and dropped slammed him hard on his back. He then proceeded to pull out his side arm (Which I have no idea where he got it, or why he has it) and not once, but thrice shot at the poor colt! Luckily, he missed all three shots, the bullets only landing near Small Fry's head. On a side note, I have now seen a grown stallion pee himself; it was very entertaining.

My next report bares no happier or better news. I decided to start questioning him about the voices he hears- turns out that they're all fallen comrades of his! What's worse is that he believes that all four deaths were caused by him (Okay, so one of them really was caused by him). He went on to tell us of his dreams, how he drowns in blood, and is reminded of how the bodies looked after they had died... While I do not want to waste your time with the details, let me just say that he got VERY specific. I'm afraid to both go on, and wonder if he's hiding anything outside of what he already told us.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S. How has Princess Luna NOT been inside his mind as he slumbers?

When I went outside, it was around 2 in the afternoon; and time to do some errands. My first priority was to cash the check Celestia gave me; 1000 bits, which easily allowed me to coast for the first year. I arrived at the local bank, check in hand, and smile beaming straight ahead. Well, it was sort of a smile... Okay, so it was one of those creepy, emotionless half smiles. Back to the story, I walked up to the front door; only to find it locked. I peered in through the glass door, and saw nothing.

That is, until I noticed a set of eyes looking at me in terror. Seeing this, I assumed said person worked at the bank, and so I calmly tapped on the door. Tap Tap Tap... No reply. I knew he could see me, which pissed me off... after he realized he was staring at me, he beckoned for me to go away; in other words that I wasn't welcome there. Without a word, I undid my blouse, and took off my undershirt. I carefully wrapped the shirt around my knuckle, making sure that it covered every part of my hand, and with a single punch, broke the glass. "Knock, knock, dick mouth."

Reaching my hand in, I unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was strange; no alarms went off (incidentally, a few days later somepony tried breaking into the place, only to be greeted by a large siren going off). I slowly walked up to the counter, and slammed the check down; my palm making a loud crash upon impact. The worker slowly rose, and mustered , "W-welcome to the First Bank of Ponyville. H-How may I help you?"

I simply pointed at the check, and pointed at the vault behind him. The stallion shook his head, and proceeded to retrieve my money. Within minutes, he had a large stack of coins loaded into a bag, and quickly handed it off to me. Without hesitation (or restraint), I snatched the bag and exited the building. A normal pony would be wary of thieves trying to take that may bits; but most ponies weren't looked at as mentally unstable, or made as big of an impact as I had on that first day. Next task was to drop by the Mayor's office, and verify the deed to the house that was bought for me. I realized I was still shirtless, as I caught many a mare(and a few stallions) gawking at my chest.

Okay, the fuck? I know I'm in shape, but I ain't a body builder...not that I'm complaining., I slowly slipped the shirt I had tucked in my belt back on, and my blouse along with it.

If you're expecting something as bad as the bank to go down in the Mayor's office; you're shit out of luck. Everything was formal, and I was in and out within a matter of minutes. Albeit, there was some tension with the receptionist, everything else went as smooth as KA-Bar knife blade. Stepping, yet again, out into the street, I felt like a school colt; with a bounce in my step, I ran to my new house. I learned in the Mayor's office that although it was on the outskirts of the town, it also lay near a forest and stream (not the Everfree, by the way).

The serenity of the slowly moving stream calmed me as I approached the house. In all honest, it was bigger than previously described, and looked like the Princess just had it built. The tan studs accented the eggshell white walls, seemingly perfect fit for the surroundings. It's a two story, with a slanted roof and wooden shingles. I had grown so used to metal everything that I had forgotten they made things this amazing in the civilian world. With a simple twist of my wrist, I opened the door, to be greeted by a fully furnished living room; before me were two couches, a recliner, a flat screened television, and a coffee table. All hovering on a white carpet.

I spent the next hour exploring, finding that I had a COMPLETELY furnished house. I thought for sure that I would only be given the living room, but I almost shit myself when I saw everything else. From a king sized bed, which literally feels like a cloud, to an electric stove in the kitchen; I now had it all. After settling down, I sat at the kitchen table and wrote a letter to the Princess.

TO:Princess Celestia

FROM: ~~Lance Corporal~~ Drifter

Princess, may I first begin by thanking you immensely for not only the money you have given me, but for the house as well. I am a simple stallion, and giving me just a bed and t.v. would've sufficed, but you gave me the whole package! Literally, I cannot thank you enough for what you have given me, a lowly ex-marine. If I hadn't already sworn to do so at birth, I will now do whatever you desire, whether it is to take the backlash for a political decision, kill your enemies, or even just clean the castle; know that my services are always open to you.

On a flip side, I must admit that I have done something terrible. Today, instead of just walking away, I injured a civilian, and scared him beyond an inch of his life. Literally. I shot three times around his head, to make sure he and everyone else got the message that they can't fuck with me, without receiving a consequence. He...to put in better words, wet himself on the spot, causing many around him to laugh at his expense. If you wish to reprimand me in any way, I fully understand and am willing to receive said punishment. Oh, and I kinda-sorta broke into the local bank. I didn't take any money that wasn't owed to me, the worker there locked the door and wanted me to go away, when all I wanted to do was cash the check that you gave me. I'll probably pay for the glass.

I glanced at my watch, which read 5 P.M., and realized that I promised to go back to the library. I quickly ran out the door, and sprinted to meet Twilight. The sun was on the horizon as I sped through town, and it signaled the end of the day. Upon my arrival, I looked through the front window of the tree house, to see Twilight nervously pacing in the main room of the library. Without hesitation, I opened the door, and prepared my ears for the battle that surely lay ahead. "Hey, I'm back...Just like I said I would be."

"OH THANK CELESTIA!!! I was worried you got in trouble with the towns ponies. I'm glad to see that you're alright...I suspect you stayed out of trouble?", she cast a discerning look at me as she asked this.

"Uhhh," a switch in my head suddenly flicked on, and the memories of that day slowly came back to me, "Yeah, I guess you could say that... Just avoid the bank for a day or two."

She tilted her head, "Why's that?"

"No reason...just looked like there might be some shady characters down there. Don't want you to get mugged or something. By the way, do you have any more questions, or are we done for the day?"

"Just a few more, if you don't mind."

Author's Note

....No comment on any of this. Enjoy, the good Lord knows that I love writing this story! No sarcasm intended there, but I really do like writing this story.