Was It Worth It?

by Enfield

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1317

Twilight sends a letter to Celestia one hundred years after becoming an alicorn.

One hundred years have passed since Twilight's ascension into becoming an alicorn, she thought that it would work out after a while but now after a hundred years, she feels as if her transformation was questionable. Her friends have all died, Celestia rarely sees her and a feeling of empty accomplishments consumes her every waking moment. Now after all that has happened Twilight sends one last letter to the Princess, hoping to find a sense of worth in what she has become.

Published 2013-03-11 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-11 15:10:01 UTC

Dear Celestia...

"Another beautiful night, thank you Luna," Celestia thought as she stared out of the window. It truly was an amazing and breathtaking night. Luna had outdone herself once more, Celestia was proud to have such an amazing sister even though she had once been Nightmare Moon. But after what happened she forgave her and gave Luna another chance at being the princess of the night. She remembered how Nightmare moon had been defeated, Twilight and her friends used the Element of Harmony to purge Nightmare Moon and restore Luna back to who she rightfully was, but that was long ago. A hundred years ago to be exact. Celestia then was suddenly reminded of the holders of the Elements of Harmony and she found herself shedding tears. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, all of them were dead. It had been a hundred years and each one of them had passed on from old age. It was sad to see the reactions of the others as the funerals passed, worse was to see the chairs that held the six grow empty as the years passed until only one remained, Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic.

Princess Celestia slumped against the wall in dismay as she recollected the last funeral of the Element holders, the last one that was by far the worst, Pinkie's. Celestia remembered the reactions of the funeral-goers weeping and lamenting for the party pony but the worst by far was Twilight. Her gaze was cold, emotionless, almost like she didn't care. Celestia shuddered when she thought about that, Twilight was never like that. She cared deeply about her friends and even said how she loved each and every one of them, but now it seemed like she wasn't good company anymore. Twilight changed dramatically after her brothers death, she refused to speak and kept to herself, no longer going out in public.

"Why?" Celestia thought, "Why did this have to happen?"

The princess stood up from the wall and went to leave her quarters when a quiet 'poof' emanated from behind her, Celestia turned around to see a parchment resting on the plush pillow behind her, the princess slowly walked over to it and picked up the rolled parchment and grimaced.

It was from Twilight.

"It's been six months since I last talked to her," Celestia thought, "What has compelled her to write to me?"

Celestia unrolled the parchment and sat down on the pillow in front of the dying fire. She sent a burst of flame through it and the fire came back to life and illuminated the room in a flickering orange light, Celestia took a deep breath and started to read.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I know that it's been a long time since I last talked to you but I feel after six months of isolation and thinking I've come to a conclusion; This whole alicorn thing isn't working out. It has been over a hundred years since I became an alicorn and I feel as if it's not working out. I have done so much during the last few years but I feel as if every accomplishment was empty and effortless. Every day that passes I feel alone and upset. You know why, Princess Celestia. My friends and my brother, I miss them. It's been a very long time since their deaths and I feel so alone. I didn't know that this was going to be a consequence of becoming an alicorn nor did I want it to happen. Even though their deaths happened long ago I still feel the pain from the loss, they were my best friends and now that they're dead I don't understand how I'm supposed to move on. You introduced the new Element holders to me but they don't seem to be the same as my friends and former Element holders, I can't even look at them because they remind me too much of my old friends and each time I remember tears spring from my eyes. I only wish to see my friends once more and say that I'm sorry.

I want to tell them that I'm sorry for abandoning them and that I regret not allowing them to help when Canterlot was being attacked but that was only because I wanted them safe. When they thought that it was because I wanted to save the day single hoovedly I was devastated, they didn't speak to me for weeks and it took even longer for us to regain our friendships. Then slowly after the years passed each one of them died of old age and each funeral made me feel horrible because as they grow older, I say the same age. I can't bear the thought of thinking about their deaths as the days go on, even if they were decades ago.

Sadly after the deaths of my friends it all got worse, my older brother succumbed to sickness and was bedridden for the rest of his life. As much as I tried to help him with Cadence we couldn't succeed. It was depressing watching him die slowly, so much had been lost and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Why didn't you make him an alicorn too, Princess? We could all be living together happily without a care in the world but now that he's gone the castle feels empty and dark. I know that Princess Luna has been trying to help me when I dream by fixing my dreams so that I can see my friends but recently each time I near them they just turn to dust and blow away with the wind. I can't deal seeing that. It's just to depressing waking up each morning only to be reminded that your friends are all dead. But this is not the only thing that's troubling me. Over the period of time that I've been an alicorn I feel like nothing is too much of an effort anymore. I know that you remember the recent Dragon attack on Stalliongrad and how we managed to defeat them. After we set everything right I took a walk and realized that the fight against the dragons was too easy, much too easy to feel like I've done anything substantial. This feeling also started to spill over into my studies and spells, everything that I've done feels empty and very boring. I've spent years studies various magic spells and history but the spells were too easy and the history I've learned already. Now after all these years I've realized that everything I did was nothing more but a way to waste time and distract me from what I've been living through and seeing what I am.

I don't feel like I'm Twilight Sparkle anymore, I feel like a heartless unicorn who became an alicorn and forgot about her friends and tried to block it out through pointless studies and attempts to make her spells better. I don't want to feel like this and I don't want to be remembered like this. I'm sorry that I have to write this to you but I at least wanted to tell you how I'm feeling and what I'm going to try and do to recover. I'm going away to find a new life, I know that you won't want me to leave but I fear that if I stay I'll end up a wreak. I need time alone and I need to think about how I'm going to get over everything. I'm sorry that I have to leave you and Luna but I need this time alone, away from anypony else. I hope that you're doing well though Princess and I'll see you at some point in the future.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Celestia dropped the letter, sank down into her hooves and cried.

"Oh Sweet Faust, what have I done?"