The Supernumeraries

by KenSES64

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Slice of Life, Screwball, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 17931

A Mad Scientist, an Alicorn Princess, and Two Royal Guards are only some of the ponies in these stories.

A Mad Scientist, an Alicorn Princess, and Two Royal Guards are only some of the ponies in these stories.
-----------------------------------------------------------
This is a spin-off of the Spawn of Disharmony series, and takes place in the same universe as it, but is about some of the side characters. Except if a chapter's about Princess Filia Solis. Then it takes place in the universe in Seth Disarmonia and the Univesre Hopping Princess. If you haven't read those stories, even though no necessary, it'd probably make more sense if you did.

Published 2013-04-04 14:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-24 02:31:40 UTC

Technology vs. Magic

Technology vs. Magic

Technology vs. Magic

------------------------------------------------------*Screwball*-------------------------------------------------------

I turned off my blowtorch and stepped back to admire my work. On the table was a fully made suit of armor. At the sight of it, I smiled to myself.

“It’s done. It’s finally done!” I said to nopony in particular. I looked at it and thought, ‘Hmm... I think now all I need to do is take it for a test run.’
______________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, after taking a much needed nap, I trotted over to Golden Oaks Library to ask a favor of one of the workers there. I instantly saw him the moment I stepped inside. He was a black unicorn stallion with a purple mane, my (slightly younger) brother Seth.

“Sup bro?” I asked. He turned his head to face me, showing his red eyes.

“Oh hi sis, what’s up?”

“I just finished my battle suit.”

“Oh that’s cool.” He responds.

“And I was wondering, if it wasn’t any trouble, if you could help me test it out.”

“You want me to pilot it?” He asked, slightly confused.

“Oh no,” I replied, waving my hoof around. “You’re too big to fit in it.” He raised an eyebrow at that.

“Are you calling me fat?” He asked.

“No,” I deadpanned. “I’m saying that you don’t really have the body of a mare.”

“Oh, I see. So exactly what do you want me to do then?”

“I want you to fight me,” Seth’s jaw slightly dropped before he could respond.

“Umm... What?”

“You heard me. You vs. Me. Brother vs. Sister. Stallion vs. Mare. Spawn vs. Spawn. Magic vs. technology!”

“Ummm... okay,” he responded after a few moments. “But when? I mean it’s Wednesday so I really can’t right now because I have to work, and I’m busy Saturday ‘cause I promised to take Rainbow to see that new Johnneigh Cage movie. So... Sunday go for you?” I tapped my chin with me hoof.

“That will give me some time to give it a paint job. Sure.”

______________________________________________________________________________

That Sunday, I pulled out a cart carrying my armor, which was heavier than it looked, out to an open field on the outskirts of the Everfree forest, where Seth and I agreed to meet. Following me where my friends Berry Punch, and Colgate.

“So, you’re really going to fight your own brother?” Berry asked me.

“Yep. From what I heard, he’s saved Equestria twice, so it’ll be a good test. Besides, it’s just a sparring match, so we won’t be trying to hurt each other too badly.”

Eventually after some more talking we arrived. We got there not too long before Seth did. His fiancee Rainbow Dash and his friend/employer Princess Twilight Sparkle were also there.

“Hey sis, Rainbow and Twi are here to watch,” he said.

“That’s cool, I brought some of my friends too.” I said, pointing my hoof at Berry and Colgate.

After Berry and Colgate said ‘hi’ to them I began to put on my armor while Seth kept talking with them. I had gotten everything but the helmet on when somepony else I was expecting arrived.

She was a white unicorn with an unkempt mane that was a mixture of both dark blue and a shade of lighter blue in color, a musical note for a cutie mark, and wore a pair of purple sunglasses that covered her magenta eyes underneath. She was of course, Vinyl Scratch. A.K.A DJ Pon-3.

She walked up to Seth and said something that I didn’t really pay attention to. Something to do with her marefriend Octavia, I don’t know, but there was something she said that did grab my attention.

“So what are you here for?” Seth asked her.

“Well, your sis here asked me to play some epic battle music while you two duke it out, and in exchange I’m getting a 50% discount on a little order I made.” Vinyl replied. I quickly turned around the second those words hit my ears.

“What in tartarus are you smoking?” I asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“I said 15%, not 50%.”

“How about 30%?”

“No.”

“25%?”

“No.”

“20%?” I tapped my hoof on my chin.

“Fine.”

“Awwwww yeeeeeah! Bass Cannon you will soon be mine!”

After that was over I finally put my helmet on, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn, not in a literal sense, seeing that I’m an earth pony, but I thought that I did a good job on the paint. I mostly painted it a metallic, dark purple, but I left the face area of the helmet and the areas up to the hooves and unpainted silver.

With my armor on and ready to go, I turned to face Seth, who looked ready enough. Colgate, Berry, Rainbow and the Princess sat at a safe distance away with Vinyl and her equipment. Vinyl looked at us both as she levitated the needle on record

“Let’s get this beatdown started!!!” She practically screamed as the music started playing.
______________________________________________________________________________

Right as the first beat of the music hit, I used the energy from the spirit stones at the bottom of my hooves to fly up into the air. I kept my eye on Seth, who suddenly vanished into thin air.

‘Hmm... So he’s teleporting. Now where did he go?’ I thought as I looked around for a black unicorn and started charging a pulse blast for the magically sprite stones at the bottom of the hooves. A function that was a pain in the flank to figure out, but I got it down after much testing.

Out of nowhere, I saw a flash in the corner of my vision and shot a pulse blast towards it. A light blue ball of energy flew at Seth and hit him. The resulting impact caused an explosion that knocked some dust into the air.

As the cloud of dust cleared, I saw that he was gone. I turned my head only to come face to face with a hammer about to strike me right in the head. I didn’t have any time to react to it, and I got sent back a few feet back and fell to the ground. I didn’t feel anything thanks to the armor, but my vision went staticy for a few seconds. When it returned, I saw Seth standing about 5 yards away with a hammer floating next to him.

“Come on sis,” he said with a cocky grin on his face, “Even with that fancy armor, you’re no match for magic?”

“Well technically my suit is powered by magic,” I respond.

“Well I’m magicier!” He shouted as electricity began flowing through his horn, which he then shot right at me. I rolled out of the way just before it hit me. Once I was clear of the lightning blast I quickly jumped back to my hooves, flew forward and punched my brother right in the face.

He stumbled back a bit, but didn’t fall over. I then saw his horn start to glow with a red aura. I flew up several feet into the air to get away from him, but then a rock just barely missed my head. I looked down to see Seth with about half a dozen rocks floating around him.

He threw three at me, but I evaded them. That didn’t stop him though, as he just threw some more. After he missed four shots in a row, he teleported. I looked around for a bit again trying to find him, but then I suddenly got hit by a rock from above.

I spun out a little, but quickly managed to recover. I then looked up to see a single grey cloud overhead.

I flew upwards and made my way towards it as two more rocks were thrown in my direction. The first one missed, while the second one just merely scraped one of the legs, barely scratching the paint job.

As I flew towards the cloud I began to charge up my front hooves for a double pulse blast.

The second I flew through the cloud I shot them both just as Seth shot a magical blast of his own.

The moment to two blasts hit they caused a large explosion.

My vision went dark for several moments after that. I suddenly found myself unable to move in the suit and I soon fell until I hit the ground.

After a few short seconds, my suit turned back on and I was able to get back onto my hooves again. I was still unable to see though, so I took off the helmet to see Seth getting up as well, brushing dirt off of his coat. Rainbow Dash hovered few feet in the air above him, checking up on him.

I trotted over to those two and picked up on their conversation.

“You know I love you to death, but sometimes you can be dumber than a bag of hammers.” Rainbow said to him. Crossing her forelegs.

“Oh come on beautiful, I’ve been through way worse and you know it.” It was then that he noticed I was there. “Good match sis. So, I guess we’ll call it a draw.”

“Yeah, a draw,” I said with a smile.
______________________________________________________________________________

With the armor back in the cart, I pulled back towards the shop, while Berry Punch and Colgate followed suit.

“So, how do you think I did?” I asked them.

“Well, I honestly didn’t know what to expect,” Colgate said. “But the two of you seemed pretty evenly matched. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Yeah, to think that in this armor, I can stand up to somepony who’s not only skilled in magic, but got training from the captain of the royal guard, and saved Equestria twice. Imagine what I could do if it modified it a little.”

“You’re going to make my bass cannon first, right?” Vinyl asked, not too far behind us.

“Of course V. I’ll get to it as soon I can.”

“Awesome!”

Author's Note

Seth's POV
_______________________________
Character Profiles #1
Name: Screwball
Race: Earth Pony
Occupation: Model (only doing this until she can start her own company)
Coat Color: Pink
Mane Color: Purple & White
Eye Color: Purple
Special Talent: Being a mad scientist
Theme Song: You're Gonna Go Far Kid by: The Offspring

Arrow

Arrow

*Note: This chapter takes place about 7 years before the events of the show.*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------*Light Arrow*---------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Light Arrow, I’m an 18 year-old, dark blue, pegasus stallion with a light purple mane and green eyes. I’m not the best pony in the world. I’ll admit that. Why do I say this? Well...

“I swear I had my money here a second ago,” A lime green mare said as she went through her saddlebag.

Some distance away I was playing with a small sack of bits in my hoof.

Yeah, I’m a common thief. I know, not the best career choice, but when you can’t get a job and you really need money, you have to do what you have to.

Don’t get me wrong, I do feel bad about it sometimes, but at least I have a good reason for why I do all this.
___________________________________________________________________________

An hour later I walked into Canterlot Hospital. The light purple, unicorn mare at the front desk, who’s name if I recall is Violet Charm, recognized me and smiled.

“Ah, hello Mr. Arrow. I’m guessing you’re here to see your sister?” I nodded. “You know where it is.” With that, I trotted down the hall and stepped into a room at the end and to the right.

I walked up to the only occupied bed in the room as a small, light purple, pegasus filly with a straight white and pink mane turned her attention to me, showing me her blue eyes. This was my little sister, Songbird. She’s in here for treatment for a stomach condition, which is why I need the money.

“Oh, hi Light.” She greeted me with her smile beaming.

“Hey sis, how are you feeling?” I asked as I messed up her mane a little with my hoof. She just giggled in response.

“I’m fine,” she replied just before coughing a bit. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt a little concerned in the pit of my gut.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it bro.” Part of me wasn’t completely sure if I believed her, but it didn’t sound that bad, so I just sighed and tried to relax.

“If you say so.”

“So how have you been at home?” She asked me.

“Same old, same old. The landmare is still complete bitch, yet still strangely kinda hot in an older mare kind of way.”

“Okay one, watch your language, and two, how am I related to you?” Songbird said in a completely monotone voice.

“Well, our mom somehow fell for our dad and...” I stopped when I saw her her head drop in sadness. I just wrapped my forelegs around her as she started to cry.

“I-I never got to meet her.”

“Shhh... It’s okay.” I said to her as I rubbed my hoof down her back.

“No it’s not. She died giving birth to me and our dad blamed me for her death.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” I said as I wiped the tears out from her eyes.

“I know, it just bothers me whenever I think about it.” She then started hugging me. “Thanks bro.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me for all these years.” I noticed what sounded like an unsure tone in her voice as she said that.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked her. Now I wasn’t sure at all if I believed what she said a moment ago.

“Just that you’ve been there for me, and I know you’ve been working really hard to pay for my treatment.”

“Yeah...” I replied as I let out a nervous laugh. ‘I hope to Celestia she doesn’t know I’ve been stealing for ponies.’ The moment I finished that thought we let go of the hug. “So, I’ll see you again later this week, kay sis.”

“Okay,” She said smiling.
______________________________________________________________________________

Two days later I was relaxing in my apartment after a day of “work.” Celestia knew how long later there was a knock at the door. I used my wings to glide over to it and opened it up to see of all ponies, Violet Charm, the same purple unicorn from the hospital.

“Weeeellll, hello there Miss Charm.” I greeted her. “So, since you’re here, I take it that you’ve accepted my offer for a night out? So, what will it be? Dinner? A movie? Or maybe you just want to come in for some fun.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her as I said that. She only gave me a stern look in response.

“This isn’t the time to be hitting me you perv.”

“Is something wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“It’s Songbird,” she replied to me. “She’s gotten worse.”
______________________________________________________________________________

Violet teleported us to the hospital where I immediately rushed to Songbird’s room. When I got there, I was stopped by one of the doctors. He was a brownish-grey unicorn with a slicked-back black mane, blue eyes that were behind a pair of round glasses, and had a red cross inside of a yellow circle for a cutie mark.

“I assume that you are Mr. Light Arrow, ya?” He asked me in a thick Germane accent.

“Yes.” I respond, “Is my sister okay?”

“Vell, she did seem to be getting better earlier zis week, but she’s unexpectedly gotten worse.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” I respond harshly, to which he sighed and put a hoof on my shoulder.

“I am very sorry Mr. Arrow, but ve did all ve could.”

Upon hearing those words, I instantly start to tear up, “No... No, please don’t tell me she...”

“I’m sorry.” He said putting his head down and walking off.

“SORRY?! YOU’RE SORRY?! YOU DOCTORS SAID SHE’D GET BETTER! IT WAS YOUR JOB TO MAKE HER BETTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE TO PAY FOR HER HOSPITAL BILLS!”

The doctor stopped, but didn’t turn around to look at me, “I know, if it was up to me ve vouldn’t ever lose a patient. I truly am sorry for you loss, believe me I am, but please understand zat ve didn’t expect zis to happen, and vere not a fault.” He then continued to walk off.
______________________________________________________________________________

The next month is kind of hard for me to talk about. About three days after my sister passed away was her funeral. What else can I really say, it was my little sister’s bucking funeral?! How many of these have I been to? I mean first my mother’s when she died giving birth to Songbird when I was 6, then my father’s funeral 6 years later due to liver problems from heavy drinking. Our grandfather on our mother’s side took us in after that.

I remembered that he was the one that taught me everything I know about archery. I can still remember the day I got my cutie mark after I hit my first bullseye and how happy both he and Songbird were for me. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was 16, and now I’ve lost my little sister. I’m the only living member of my family left... So, what do I even have to live for?

That was a question that floated in my mind for sometime, and yes, I had some thoughts of suicide, but I couldn’t do that. I know that none of them would want that, especially Songbird. So, to my regret, I started drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I know, in the past I’ve judged my father for doing the same thing, but yeah, I went down the same path as he did. Ironic isn’t it?

Well, about three weeks after the funeral, I was in a bar (I know that I was too young to drink, but the owner never ID’d me for some reason). I barely remembered anything that happened, but I remember that I got into some argument with this blue unicorn. I don’t really remember what it was about, but ten minutes later I was outside in an alleyway, on the ground, bleeding from my nose, and starting to fade out of consciousness. The last thing I remember seeing before everything became a big blur was a grey figure rushing towards me.

To Be Continued...

Steel

Steel

*Note: This chapter takes place 7 years before the events of the show*

------------------------------------------------------*Steel Wall*-----------------------------------------------------

My name is Steel Wall. I’m an 17 year-old unicorn stallion that you probably wouldn’t notice much, mostly due to how I look. I kid you not when I tell you that I am completely grey. My coat, mane, tail, and eyes, all grey. The only thing about me that would really stand out is that my cutie mark, which is of a brick wall. Though this isn’t about me. You see, while walking down a Canterlot street, I came across this dark blue, pegasus stallion, unconscious in the middle of an alleyway, and he looked like he took a hell of a beating. My first reaction was to pick him up with my magic, throw him onto my back, and run to the nearest hospital so he could get some medical attention. I’m not sure why this was my first reaxtion, maybe I’m just a good samaritan.

After I’m not even sure how long I was running, I burst through the front doors of the hospital and shouted, “This pony needs help!”

The mare at the front desk suddenly got a look of shock on her face and exclaimed, ”LIght?!” and teleported up to me, looking incredibly worried, “What happened to him? He’s bleeding!”

“I don’t know, I just found him like this.” I tell her. As I say that, another pony came to take him to a hospital room.

After he was taken for treatment, I turned to get a good look at the mare. She was a light purple unicorn mare with a dark purple, almost blue mane that was tied back into a ponytail, and pink eyes. Her cutie mark was of a glowing blue amulet. She looked like she was about the same age as me, maybe a year or two older than me give or take, and I’ll admit, she was pretty. I mean really pretty.

“I… Uh…”, was all I could make out, yeah smooth. “So… you seemed worried about that pony. Do you know him? Family member? Friend?... Coltfriend?”

She giggled a little at that. “Coltfriend, yeah right. Sure he’s has hit on me before, but he did that to every other mare that works here as well. I guess, friend, or acquaintance would be a more fitting term. Since you called him ‘that pony’ I’m assuming that you don’t know him.”

“No. Like I said. I just found him like that,and rushed over here.”

“Well… Good thing you found him when you did. Mr… uh.”

“Oh, my name’s Steel Wall.”

“Oh. Well, nice to meet you, I’m Violet Charm.”
______________________________________________________________________________

So Violet Charm told me about the pony I found. His name was Light Arrow, and it turned out she knew him because he had a younger sister that was in this hospital, and he visited her all the time. Sadly, she passed away a little over a month ago. I was unsure what to say to that, but I did feel sorry for the guy.

I stuck around for a bit longer just to see if he’d be okay, and about 20 minutes later a doctor came up to me and asked, “You’re ze one who brought him here ya?”

“Umm… yes.” I responded.

“You got him here just in ze neck of time.”

“Just in time? He didn’t look that badly beaten?”

“He vasn’t, But ve found a lot of alcohol in his system, he could of died of alcohol poisoning if you didn’t bring him here.”

“So he’ll be okay then?”

“Ve’ll see, give him some time to rest, so come back tomorrow.”

At that, I nodded and made my way to my parent’s house.
______________________________________________________________________________

The next day I made my way back to the hospital and was greeted by Violet Charm again, “Oh hi. Steel was it?”

“Yes, um... hi, Miss Charm.” I responded.

“Please, just call me Violet.” She said with a smile.

“Well, Violet, is that Light Arrow guy awake?”

“Well I’m not really sure, but you can go check. He’s in room 212.”

I just nodded and said, “Thanks.” before walking off to find the hospital room. After about three minutes I finally found room 212, and in it, a dark blue pegasus sitting up, with bandages wrapped around his nose. “Umm… Hi.” I said, stepping into the room.

“Hi?”, He replied, sounding a little confused. “Who’re you?”

“My name’s Steel Wall. I’m the one who found you in the alley and brought you here.” I explained.

“Oh, uhh… thanks, I guess.” He said, not sounding too happy. He then put his hoof up to his nose and winced in pain. “Oh Celestia, the buck happened last night?”

“Well, I would assume that somepony beat you up.”

“No shit Sherclop. So… why’d you do it?”

“Wha?”

“Why’d you help me?”

“Because you were knocked out and bleeding. You clearly needed help.”

“Yeah, but I’m a complete stranger to you. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Well, that mare at the front desk, Violet told me a few things about you after I brought you here yesterday.”

He was silent for a few seconds before he finally said, “I’m guessing she told you about Songbird, didn’t she?”

“Was that your little sister?”

“Yeah.” He went silent again for a moment, “So you know what happened.”

“Yeah. If it means anything, I’m sorry for you.”

“Thanks.”
______________________________________________________________________________

Not much happened afterwards. I left the hospital and I didn’t see that pony at all afterwards. Well, until about three months later.

My father thought that since I had turned 18, I had to find my own place, so I found an ad for an apartment room for a decent price. Granted it’s was with a roommate, but hey,
I figured that it wouldn’t be too bad. So I walked into the apartment complex, found the room and knocked on the door, only to see it answered by a dark blue, pegasus stallion.

He looked at me kinda surprised, “Oh… hi.”, he says.

“Hi, I’m here for the room.” I said to him, kinda surprised myself to see him, “Mind if I step in?”

“Not at all.”

So I walked in to take a tour the apartment. It was small-ish, but not too bad. I walked right into a living room that was connected to a small kitchen, a small bathroom on the opposite side, and in the middle, a short hallway that lead to two bedrooms. One of them was unfurnished.

“I’m guessing the room for rent was…” I began to say before Light answered.

“My sister’s. Yeah, don’t worry. I have her stuff in a storage unit, but I need the extra money, so I decided to rent out the room. You do have a job right?” He asked.

“Well no, but I’m sure I can get one.”

“Don’t be so confident, I’ve been trying to get one for years, maybe I’m just unhireable.”

“Well I know of somewhere that might take you, it’s what I’m joining to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“The royal guard.”

To Be Continued...

Armor

Armor
*Note: This Chapter Takes Place 7 Years Before The Show*

------------------------------------------------------*Shining Armor*--------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe my little colt is joining the Royal Guard,” my mother, Twilight Velvet, says while hugging me as I stood up from the breakfast table, trying to leave.

My father, Night Light, looks up from his newspaper smiling, “Ease up on him dear. He needs to get ready for his first day of training.”

“I know, but I still can’t believe that my Shiny’s all grow up. It makes me feel so… so…”

“Old?” I ask.

“Excuse me, young stallion, what did you just call me?!” She shouts.

“I was just trying to finish your sentence,” I say putting my hooves up.

My dad just chuckles, which makes my mom glare daggers at him. “I… uh… Y-You look as young and beautiful as you did on our wedding day.” He then says with a nervous smile.

` “Uh-hu, that's what I though.” My mom says to my dad with a wink.

“Uh… can I go now? You know I have to get to the training ground and whatnot.” I ask before this turns into either an argument or something nopony should ever see.

My mom just gives me another hug and says, “Just remember to stretch before you do a drill.”

“Of course, mom,” I reply as she let me go. I then grab my dufflebag and I walk out of the kitchen. “Bye mom, bye dad,” I quickly said to them before I left.

I start making my way out of the house when I hear a small voice come from the stairs, “Aren’t you going to say bye to me?”

I look over to see a small, purple, unicorn filly, “Sorry Twily. I thought you were still asleep.”

“I was till now,” she says before she giving a quick yawn. “Sorry. Late night studying.”

“A growing filly does need her sleep.”

“You sound like mom.”

“I heard that!” Our mother calls from the other room.

Twily just walks over to gives me a hug, “Good luck bro.”

“Thanks, Twily.”

After leaving home I made my way to the castle, and as I was almost to the training ground when I suddenly feel two forelegs wrap around me.

“There you are!” a very familiar voice says.

“Hey, Cadence,” I say with a smile.

“I went over to your house, but Twilight told me that you had already left. So I came over here as fast as I could. So Shining, trying to avoid your marefriend?” She asks, while playing with my mane a bit.

“I’m sorry I left. It’s just a big day for me, and you didn’t let me know you were coming over. I swear I wouldn’t try to avoid you.”

She gives me a peak on the cheek and says, “I know.” She then lets go of me. “Oh, and just so you know, that the drill sergeant is a bit of a… Well you’ll see.” She says to me before she walks off.

I myself trot through the gates of the castle into the training ground. It was a rectangular area with the ground itself being nothing up dirt. There was an obstacle course in the distance, and off to the side were some pony shaped mannequins. Towards the center I saw a group of about eight ponies lined up and joined them, taking a space between a dark blue pegasus and a grey unicorn.

The next thing I knew, two wooden doors were bucked open to reveal a lime green unicorn mare with a cherry red mane, red eyes, and a cutie mark of two spears crossing each other forming an X. She wore the traditional golden armor of the guard looked like she was in her late 20s maybe early 30s. She looked at us and said, “Well look what we have here, a bunch of colts… and one filly who think that they’re good enough to become part of the royal guard.” She says before she stops in front of the blue pegasus next to me, “Tell me rookie, why are you here?”

I see him get a grin and say, “Well I’m more doing this for a job, but after meeting you, I can say that this might have more benefits than just the bits. Tell me, what’s your name sweet cheeks?”

She just glares at him and says, “I am Lieutenant Righteous Fury. Oh, and don’t think for a second I don’t know what you’re trying to do. There’s always one guy like you who thinks that we female guards are for your own amusement. Ponies like you are usually the ones who quit within the first week because they can’t handle it.” She then walks off and stops at the other pony next to me. “Oh, who’s this now?” She says to him, “Tell me your name rookie?”

“Steel Wall, Ma’am.” He says in a very deep voice.

“That’s what I thought, you’re Colonel Rattlesnake’s Colt aren’t ya?”

“Ma’am, Yes Ma’am.”

‘Wait he’s the son of Colonel Rattlesnake? THE Colonel Rattlesnake. The one who lead Equestria to victory in the Great Orc War 20 years ago. Granted he wasn’t a Colonel back then, but still.’ I thought to myself.

She then turned to me. “Oh, looks like we got Princess Cadence’s lover colt here too. Well Poneo, don’t think for a second that you’ll get any special treatment just because you’re dating Princess Celestia’s niece”

“I wouldn’t want any anyways, Ma’am,” I say.

“Good. Now all of you! Through those doors and to the left there are your sleeping quarters for the time you’ll be spending here training. Each of you pick a bed, put your belongings under said bed and return out here ASAP. Got it?!”

So we all did as she said. While putting my stuff away I heard what sounded like a slap. I turned to see the dark blue pegasus from before rubbing his cheek and fluttering over to the grey unicorn.

“Well, bit of a warning if you want to talk to that mare over there,” The pegasus said pointing to the one mare in the group. She was a light orange earth pony with a red mane, not much stood out about her. “She’s a bit of a bitch.”

The grey unicorn, Steel I think he said his name was, just rolls his eyes and says, “Seriously Light? You’ve been here for five minutes and you’ve hit on two mares, and been slapped by one of them.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that they’re sexy. What am I supposed to do, not try to get laid?”

Steel facehooves and says, “It’s almost like you want to get kicked out.”

“No, I just…” Light began to say before Lt. Fury’s voice grabbed our attention.

“Legacy, Horndog, Poneo! Let’s go!”

It didn’t take me that long to realize she was talking about the three of us, and we quickly rush out to the training field.

“Well now, good to see that you three listened.” Lt. Fury says as we all get out there. She then points her hoof to the obstacle course, which the other trainees were already going through. “Whoever comes in last will have to clean the bathrooms, and everypony else had a head start on you three, so I would get to it if I were you.”

With that the three of us started sprinting as fast as we could, though I paid more attention to myself. I bobbed and weaved through some cart tires, climbed up a cargo net, to jump down the other side, as well as jumping over and ducking under any other obstacles. I ended up passing two other ponies, yet I did notice that Steel guy passing me at one point. I finished the course, not out of breath, but a little tired. I then look to see that the last pony to finish was that pegasus, Light, who was breathing hard.

Lt. Fury walked right up to him and says, “Why am I not surprised? Well Horndog, you came dead last.” She levitated a toilet scrubber to him. “I want those stalls to be so clean I could eat off of the seat.”

“Why would you want to do that? Clean or not a toilet seat is still a toilet seat.” Light said in a snarky tone.

Lt. Fury just looked at him like she was ready to slap him in the back of the head and with a flash of her horn, the scrubber was replaced by a toothbrush, “Any more comments and I won’t give you anything to clean with at all, got it?”

Light just sighs and says, “Yes Ma’am.”

Later that night at the dining hall I saw those guys Light and Steel sitting at one of the tables. I walk up to the table and ask, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

“Knock yourself out,” Light says in a monotone voice.

“What my friend here is trying to say, is feel free.” Steel says.

“Thanks,” I say to them them and sit down, “So yeah, my name’s Shining Armor.”

“Steel Wall.” Steel says.

“Light Arrow.” Light introduces.

“Yeah I heard your names earlier when you were talking about that mare.” I say to Light.

“Yeah, she’s still a bitch, but hey you don’t have to worry about that.” Light says with a smirk.

“Huh?”

“Come on, I heard Lt. Fury earlier. You’re dating Princess Mi Amore Cadenza right?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re already are dating royalty. Why would you wanna waste your time on other mares? You’re basically set. Yet, that raises the obvious question, why would you be joining the guard? I mean if you marry her, you’ll be the one who’s being guarded.”

“Well, I joined because I’ve wanted to for most of my life. My uncle was in the guard, my grandfather was, his father was, and it stops there so I can’t really say so on and so forth.”

“I can.” Steel chimes in, “My family traces back to some of Princess Celestia’s first guards after the fall of Discord. So yeah, I’m part of a thousand plus year long legacy. Though my father probably is the most well know of them all.”

After taking another bite of the tasteless mush they gave us I asked, “So you were kinda forced into joining?”

“Yes and no. I did want to join, but if I didn’t I probably would have been kinda forced to so the legacy can keep going.”

“Only child?”

“No, I have a younger brother, but my father thinks he’s not guard material. Let’s just say he’s… part of the other troup.” It took me a second to get what he meant.

“Oh, well what does that have to do with anything?”

“Not sure, but my father’s like that.” There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before he spoke again. “So Shining what about your family?”

“Well, my mother’s an author, my father’s a business pony, and I have a sister.”

Light smiled at that, “Oh really?”

“Yeah, in fact she’s Princess Celestia’s personal student.”

“Really? Well...”

“Well what?”

“Is she hot?”

“Who? Princess Celestia?”

“No, I’ve seen Celestia before, I know that she’s got it going on. I meant your sister.”

“Well one, I wouldn’t be able to say so, I mean she’s my sister for Celestia’s sake, and two she’s only thirteen.”

“Oh, nevermind then… Wait, do you think she’ll be hot in five years?”

At that I stand up and shout, “What the buck is wrong with you?!”

“Jeez, no need to get so touchy about it. I was just asking. I mean when she’s legal who knows, maybe I could be a good coltfriend.”

“Light, the more you talk the creepier you sound.” Steel says while glaring at him.

“I’m not trying to sound creepy, I’m just curious.”

“Well look at it from his point of view, your sister was around the same age right?”

“Yeah,” Light responded sounding a little sad. I had a good feeling why due to the use of the word ‘was’.

“Well, what if some guy the same age as you was asking you the same questions?”

“I’d think he was a creeper and put an arrow in his skull… oh.” He looks back at me and awkwardly rubs the back of his head, “Sorry man, I wasn’t thinking of what I was saying so clearly. Don’t get the idea that I like little fillies or anything. I’m just… um…”

“Very desperate?” I ask, sitting down.

“What? Desperate? No, not at all, I’m more…”

“Extremely desperate?” Steel said with a smirk.

“I’m not desperate! And you’re one to talk, Steel, you’re single too.”

“Umm… no I’m not.”

“Wait, you’re not? Who in tartarus are you dating?”

“You remember that mare from the hospital, Violet Charm? About a week after I brought you to the hospital, I ran into her at the grocery store, we talked a bit, and she asked me out. We’ve been seeing each other ever since.”

“What? You got to be bucking kidding me! I asked her out like fifty times! I mean come on what wrong with me?!”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Oh, buck you.”

Over the next month or so Lt. Fury made us go through the drills every day, making whoever finished last have some sort of punishment, that pony usually being Light Arrow most of the time. One night though, I walked in on him while he was cleaning the bathroom yet again.

“Hey Light.” I say.

“Oh, hi.” Light replies.

“So how are you doing?”

“Well, I’m once again being forced to clean this Celestia damned bathroom. So as good as I could be right now,” we were both silent for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Hey Shining? Can I get your opinion on something?”

“Umm… sure, what is it?”

“Me. Do you think I have what it takes to even be a guard? I mean look at me, I’m scrubbing these toilets till they’re brighter than Celestia’s sun, all because I keep being the last to finish every damn drill we do. I mean, Lt. Fury flat out said I wouldn’t add anything to the guard, so I may as well quit. Should I?”

“Well, I don’t know, do you want to?”

Light remains quiet for quite some time before he responds with, “No. Shining can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“Remember when Steel mentioned that I had a sister?”

“Yeah.”

“You see, the key word there is had… I did some things that I’m not terribly proud of to pay for her medical bills, and I feel that if I do something with my life… I don’t know, I think it would be my way of making it up to her. I mean I wasn’t responsible for her death or anything, I just…”

“Want to live your life because she was unable to live hers?” I suggest.

“Yes, exactly!” He says. “Still do you think I’ll add anything to the guard if I make it through this?”

I had to think about that for a few moments before responding. “This is the royal guard, their job is to protect and serve not only Princess Celestia, but all of the citizens of Equestria, whether they be pony, griffin, buffalo, minotaur or whatever. Adding anything to the guard is irrelevant as long as you do the one thing a guard should do, protect.”

Light turns to look at me for a moment, then turns away and after a good 10 seconds of silence he says one simple word. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” I say to him before walking out to go to dinner.

You know here’s some irony with that big speech I made to Light, that very next morning, Lt. Fury had several mannequins set up for a test to see if any of us had any special skills to add to the guard.

She went down the list in alphabetical order and soon it was Light’s turn.

“So Lieutenant, you want to see what skills I have.” He says with a cocky smile.

“Yes, why? Are you saying you have none?” Lt. Fury asks.

“Oh, you’ll see. Give me a bow and some arrows.”

Lt. Fury just rolls her eyes and calls for one of the privates to get said bow and arrows from the armory.

When Light got them he took at look at them, “Hmmm… rounded safety tips, not my choice, but hey we’re in training, I can see why you gave these to me, I just hope you’re not actually protecting Equestria with these instead of real arrowheads.”

“Are you going to talk or take down that training dummy?” Lt. Fury says.

Light smiled and spun one of the arrows in his hoof before putting it in the string of the bow. He pulls back and fires it right at the pony shaped mannequin, hitting it right between the eyes, or at least where the eye would be. Light gets a bigger grin and quickly fires another arrow, and another and another, just rapidly firing them till he was out. When he was done there were one in each eye area and the rest were forming a smile.

“Well good to see he has a face now, though he seems to be really happy despite having an arrow going straight through his head,” Light says with a cocky smile.

“Hmmm, surprisingly impressive.” Lt. Fury says, looking legitimately impressed.

“Oh that’s nothing, give me some real arrows and a moving target and I’ll have a real show for you.”

Light walks back to the lineup after that and Lt. Fury calls the next pony, and this keeps going until it’s my turn to go up.

I light up my horn until a magenta magical bubble shield forms around me, I then expand it to grow large enough to cover the whole training area. Not to sound like I’m bragging, but I know I could do even better, though I figured that this would be enough to get my point across.

“Hmm… nice shield size, if you’re able to keep this up then I could see some good use for you.” Lt. Fury said, “Any offensive spells?”

I put down the shield say, “Beyond a simple magical beam, not really.”

“Very well, you may go back to the line up.”

I salute before walking off.

“Okay, and now Steel Wall.”

Now Steel walks up without saying a word or even changing the expression on his face. If I had to use one word to describe what look he did have, it would be focused.

He turned and stopped when he was about 20 feet away from another mannequin. His horn glew with a light blue aura, which then formed around his front hooves. He lifts both of them off the ground and slams them both down, which literally causes a wave in the ground to go right at the mannequin, which gets sent flying into the air. Then, while it was still in the air, Steel lifted several rocks straight out of the ground and sent them right at the airborne fake pony, smashing into it, taking off one of the ears and two of the legs, one front one back. It landed upon the ground, but he wasn’t done yet, two large stone slabs rose straight out of the ground and instantly slammed into each other, sandwiching the mannequin. He then separated them, putting them back into the earth. The mannequin itself was in bad shape, one could only imagine what that would look like with a real opponent.

“Well… uhhh…” is all Lt. Fury was able to say.

Steel just saluted and joined the rest of us, who were also in just as much awe.

Not much happened after that, like one other pony did something, but I didn’t pay that much attention to it.

About a month later it was graduation day for us. We all got fitted into some golden armor, and stood as Lt. Fury went to make a speech to those who showed up to celebrate.

“My fellow Equestrians, it is with great honor that I welcome these fine ponies into the royal guard. You all proved that you have what it takes to protect and serve the citizens of Equestria, and may we hope that you serve those citizens proudly.” The Lieutenant said aloud, to get cheers from our troup’s friends and family.

She turns around to salute us and we all salute back before we all break from the line us to talk with our families.

I joined up with my parents, Twily, and Cadence, who all congratulated me. Cadence did so with a kiss, and with a whisper of activities later on, so I can say I prefered hers. We all talked, my mom started to tear up a little, saying that her little colt’s all grown up now, my dad just wrapped a foreleg around her and snuggled up to her.

While this was happening Light came up to us. “Hey, Shining Armor.”

“Oh hi Light. What’s up?” I ask.

“I just want to thank you for the advice you gave me last week, I really needed it. You’re a good friend. We are friends right?”

“Of course, and don’t worry about it. It was no problem.” I say before I then pointed over to Cadence, “Oh yeah this is my marefriend Cadence, Cadence this is Light Arrow.”

Light put on a smile and says, “So this is the Princess huh? Well I can already tell that she’s a keeper.”

Cadence giggled a little and replies, “Thank you, but I would hope that Shiny here is dating me for more than my looks.”

I blush a bit, mostly because she called me Shiny and exclaim, “Of course I am! I love everything about you.”

Cadence snuggled up to me and says, “I know.”

“Well this is starting to get a little awkward for me,” Light says, “I guess I’ll be heading off.”

“Well my family, Cadence and I were going out to eat to celebrate, maybe you could join us,” I suggest.

“Thanks for the offer, but I want to go see my sister to tell her about me joining the guard.”

I just nod and say, “I understand.”

After he flew off Cadence asks me, “Why can’t he just join us with his sister?”

“Well… how do I say this… she… passed away.”

“Oh… Poor guy.” She said looking over at where Light was.

“Yeah, but I think he’s trying to not let it bother him too much,” I was quiet for a few seconds. “He’s a good stallion though.”

Five Years Later…

Light and I we both dressed up in nice new suits and we went to see Steel, who was also dressed up as well, though not surprising for what was about to happen.

“Hey, there’s the groom!” Light exclaimed the second we came through the door.

“Oh, hey guys.” Steel said, actually sounding nervous, which was weird to me. During the past five years I’ve known him, I have not once heard any signs of nervousness in his voice till now.

“Something wrong?” I ask.

“Oh no nothing. I guess I’m just excited. I mean remember how happy I was when Violet said yes to my proposal? And now that the day has come... I’m just feel on top of the world.”

“I don’t see how you could,” Light says. “I mean this is marriage. Your freedom as a stallion will be forever gone after this.”

“Well you may see it that way, but I disagree.”

“Whatever you say. Next you’ll be telling me that you want to have kids.”

“Well, not yet, but maybe someday. Gotta add a new branch to my family’s legacy.”

“And if you don’t, you’ll be looked down upon by the big bad Major General Rattlesnake. Yeah we know.”

“What does my father have to do with anything? Eh, nevermind. Oh, Shining could you thank Cadence for me. Violet and I really appreciate her talking Princess Celestia into letting us have the wedding at the castle garden.”

“Sure, though Cadence did tell me that Princess Celestia said you could of just asked yourself.”

“Really? But, I’m only a Chief Warrant Officer 4, I think I should be a Captain before I personally can ask for something like that.”

I just roll my eyes and say, “You don’t have to worry about things like that, Princess Celestia is an understanding pony. Now you ready to get married?”

Steel takes a deep breath and says, “Yeah.”

“Well be prepared to kiss your freedom goodbye.” Light says.

“If what you did at the Magical Mare last night is freedom, then I think I’ll be fine with losing it.” Steel said with a smirk.

“Hey, it’s not my fault! The stripper was so coming onto me. At that point the no touching rule should be irrelevant.”

I laugh a little and walk off with them.

Five years ago I joined the royal guard. Five years ago I sat down to eat with a grey unicorn and blue pegasus. Five years ago I met my best friends. Five years later they are still my best friends.

Author's Note

Character Profiles #2
Name: Light Arrow
Race: Pegasus Pony
Occupation: Royal Guard
Coat Color: Dark Blue
Mane Color: Light Purple
Eye Color: Green
Special Talent: Archery
Theme Song: Radio by: Downstait

Character Profiles #3
Name: Steel Wall
Race: Unicorn Pony
Occupation: Royal Guard
Coat Color: Grey
Mane Color: Light Grey
Eye Color: Grey
Special Talent: Earth Based Magic
Theme Song: Patriot by: Jim Johnson

Blood and Water

Blood and Water

*Princess Filia Solis*

It was another day, just like any other. I woke up, stretched a bit, brushed my mane, then after what seemed like not long enough, left of my bedroom and headed to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do today. Not that I ever get to do much anyway thanks to Mom.

“You should be happy that you can just relax. It keeps you looking young,” she tells me. I’m a bucking alicorn! I’m going to look young for friggin ever!

Sorry, got into a small rant. Seriously though, ever since that whole “dimensional battle royale” thing with Seth and that other pony Razor not that long ago, it feels like Mom’s been going out of her way… even more so than usual, to make sure nothing happens to me. Not that I can blame her or anything after an incident like that, but seriously, come on!!!...

“You saw who?!” I suddenly heard my auntie Luna shout from down the hallway as I reached the kitchen, interrupting my train of thought.

“I don’t know, your majesty,” a male voice, probably one of the guards, responded to her. “All I know that she was a grey mare with a black mane.” Against my better judgement, as quietly as I could, I crept past the kitchen down the hallway until they were within earshot.

“Was she a Vampony?” Luna frantically asked, sounding, somewhat worried. “Did she have bat-like wings?”

“I don’t remember,” the guard responded. “I only saw her for a second, but she definitely had wings. They might have been bat wings, but I can’t say for certain.”

After that there was long silence. The only thing I could hear was my auntie Luna breathing heavily. After a few moments she seemed to have calmed herself. “Thank you,” she said once she had collected herself. “If you see anything else, please inform us immediately. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to speak to our sister.”

“Yes, your majesty!” The guard responded to her before I heard the clanking of metal boots as he walked away. Thankfully he went the other way and not towards me. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as I heard him walk away, only for my auntie Luna to turn the corner... and run right into me.

“Oh, good morning, Filia,” she said with her usual level of composure. “Dost thou know where thine mother is?” she asked me. The fact that she still spoke in that old way kind of bothered me a little bit, but I never brought it up to her. “We are afraid that we desperately need to speak with her.”

“Mom had to go to…” I quickly replied as I did my best to look like I was in deep thought. My auntie and my mom weren’t the only ones who could recover quickly from an awkward situation. “I think it was Appleloosa, though it could've been Dodge Junction. I think it had something to do with a dispute between the townsponies and a changeling living there.”

“Ah yes, tis a shame that there are many who have become ignorant since the war,” Auntie Luna replied like she actually cared about that right now. If I hadn’t known any better, I probably would have believed that had. She didn’t say anything for several moments after that and just looked at me with a smile on her face. I didn’t say anything to her either. I really couldn’t come up with anything else to say. “Appologies, Filia,” auntie eventually said after a few moments. “If our sister is not here, then we are afraid that there are urgent matters that we must attend to. Have a good day.” With that, she walked right past me down the hall.

I… I don’t know why, but even though I knew I shouldn’t, auntie would tell me not to, as would my mother, but I just knew that something wrong, and I couldn’t let it go.

“Wait!” I called out after auntie Luna before she got too far, then quickly trotted over to catch her. “Auntie Luna…” It took me a few moments to find the words I wanted to say. In the end I decided to follow Applejack’s advice and be honest. “I… I heard you talking with that guard just now. What’s going on? I heard him say something about a Vampony. Is there something going on with the Lunar Guards?”

At that, auntie Luna dropped whatever composure she had and just stared at me, her eyes wider than the biggest dinner plates we had. She looked at me for a while, just staring at me, not saying anything. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and said, “We…. I suppose you deserve to know. Walk with me.” At that, she turned and continued down the hall, and I followed suit.

Auntie Luna was silent for a long time before she finally spoke, “Tell me, what dost thou know of Count Fang?”

“Count Fang?” I said, somewhat confused. “He was a Vampony who tried to turn my Mom into a Vampony to take over Equestria, but my father caught him and killed him. Its the story of how my parents fell in love. I know I asked Dad to tell me that story enough times as a filly.” Auntie Luna smiled and giggled a little bit at that, but she didn’t look at me. The whole way she seemed to find the floor in front of her hooves more interesting than me.

“Yes, well… There…. There is one part of the tale that your father left out,” Aunt Luna explained.

“What!?”

“You see,” Auntie began. “In order to get closer to your mother. Count Fang seduced a young maiden here in the palace. After he was defeated, it was discovered that the maiden was pregnant with his child, and eventually, she had a little filly, which she named Victoria, a name not so common anymore. Not long after the filly was born, a group of vamponies still loyal to Count Fang came and took the infant Victoria from her crib. As she grew, the vamponies influence over her drove her to hate equestria for taking her father away.” The entire time, as she spoke, auntie never once looked at me. “The maiden that was her mother was, of course, heartbroken, and despite her significant magical abilities, as well as the magical abilities of the princess, she was unable to locate her daughter. In all that time she never found her. She was never able to tell her how much she loved her. How much she truly cared for her despite her vampony heritage. 16 years later, you were just a filly at the time, Victoria came back to Equestria seeking revenge on your father.” She paused for a long moment at that. “She never got her revenge, and your mother and I used the Elements of Harmony on her. As a result she was turned into a bat. Afterwards, she… she flew away was never seen or heard from again.” She stopped at that and looked towards the ground, her tale apparently finished.

“But…” I said. I knew that couldn’t be all of it. There wouldn’t be a reason to talk about this now if there wasn’t. Auntie was silent for several moments before she spoke again. Again, she never looked at me. It was like she...

“Last night... Last night one of the lunar guard reported a mysterious, grey mare resembling a vampony sneaking around the castle.” Okay, that… that was some serious “what the buck” right there. Count Fang had a daughter, a daughter who tried to kill my father (though given he killed her father I couldn’t exactly blame her for hating him), and now one of the lunar guards said he saw her… here… now…

No, no that couldn’t have been possible. Even if she was a vampony, there was no way that she could still be alive. After all, that was… how long ago? I’ll admit in a heartbeat that I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty certain that even vamponies don’t live that long.

I would have gone on, but the sound of my stomach growling broke my train of thought, as well as auntie Luna’s attention from the ceiling towards me as we both stopped walking. For some reason I felt slightly embarrassed. After a few more moments of silence, I just started laughing innocently to myself. What I was embarrassed?

At that, auntie Luna just looked at me for a few moments, then brought a hoof up to her mouth. She then started giggling to herself as well, and after a second she wasn’t able to hold it back either. We both just stood there laughing for a few moments before I left her to her business and headed back to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

-Later that night-

After my talk with auntie Luna I spent most of my free time looking into some family history, though more specifically, about my father and Count Fang. Hey, just cause somepony can live to be a thousand years doesn’t mean they’re gonna remember all of it. Surprisingly, the story that auntie told me was, for all intents and purposes, true, and Count Fang did have a daughter named Victoria.

Why nopony *cough* mom *cough* ever thought to bring this up with me when talking about my father was beyond me, though to be fair, I guess I never did ask. After all, it wasn’t necessarily part of the story of how my parents met.

The odd part though, was that while all the texts I found said that Count Fang did have a daughter with a young maiden from the palace, nearly all of them neglected to mention just who said young maiden was, or how Count Fang successfully manage to seduce her in the first place. Poor mare. Falling in love with a monster like Count Fang only to find out that she was being used in order to get to my mom. That would have broken anypony’s heart, even mine.

For some reason, that made me think of Seth and Rainbow Dash in that other universe, and how lucky she was to have him. The stallion practically worships her and the ground she walks on. He’d never, ever betray her, no matter what…

And now thinking of them like that just made me start to feel a little jealous. Mom knows I haven’t had a coltfriend like that since…. well… ever…… OVER A THOUSAND FRIGGIN YEARS AND I STILL CAN’T FIND ONE DAMN COLTFRIEND!!! Personally, I blame my mom, though not too much….. somewhat….. okay a lot but give me a friggin break. One. Thousand. Friggin. Years……… Mother of mom I’m becoming just like Twilight Sparkle aren’t I?

And now I’m all depressed….

…

…

…

…

CURSE YOU FRIENDS AND YOUR ABILITY TO HAVE INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY!?

WHY!?!?

WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

“Hahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaa…………..” the sound of somepony laughing broke me from my train of thought. It wasn’t a voice I recognized.

“Who's there!?” I asked as I stopped walking, slightly creeped out. What, it was late at night, not all the lights were on, and to top it off, it was a bit cloudy outside. It was a bit creepy. That aside, there was no response.

My first instinct was that it was Pinkie Pie play some kind of prank, as she was want to do, but I knew that couldn’t be true. Pinkie Pie was back in Ponyville with Twilight and the other element holders, probably throwing another party of some kind, and I knew 100% that there was nopony else in the palace who would do that sort of thing. Canterlot nobles were too stuck up like that. Even my mother and auntie, as much as they liked the joke around sometimes, wouldn’t play pranks like this, especially on me.

“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa……” the laughter rang out again. Instinctively, I started looking around. I was in one of the palace hallways, so it wasn’t like there was anywhere to hide here. Yeah, there were doors lining both sides of the hallway, but they were all closed, and as far as I knew, locked, and even if somepony was hiding behind one of them, I wouldn’t have been able to hear their laughter that well, unless they were speaking to me telepathically, but since those kinds of spells are illegal, I doubted that.

“Hahahahaha……” the laughter rang out again. The moment it hit my ears I quickly spun around, expecting somepony to sneak up on me and saw…. nothing. Nopony was behind me, just the empty hallway. I wasn’t about to be fooled that easily though, and kept my eyes forward and my ears sharp. If something was gonna happen, it wasn’t going to get past me. After just over a full minute of silence… nothing still happened.

At that, I relaxed and let out a breath I didn’t even realize I had been holding in. Maybe I was just hearing things, or if somepony was playing some kind of prank on me, then I should probably just ignore it. I wasn’t in the mood for games anyway. So I turned back around, only to come face to face with a pair of yellow eyes.

“Boo,” the pony in front of me said. The next thing I knew, something knocked me backwards with enough force to send me flying. I didn’t even see what happened. One moment I was standing still, and the next, something hit me and I was flying backwards. I flew straight backwards all the way down the hallway straight into the window overlooking the palace gardens at the very end. Thinking quickly, I unfurled my wings and with several strong flaps backwards, I stopped myself from crashing through the window just as I was about to hit it, only to look up above me and see a grey mare with a long, straight (if I a bit frazzled), black mane and tail holding a large battle axe above her head.

Time practically slowed to a crawl for me as all I could focus on was the massive, purple, almost bat like, blade of the axe that she carried. How she was even able to lift it above her head without the aid of magic, much less fly with it, was some kind of miracle, the thing was massive. Its blade was larger than her head. As I watched it fall towards me, all manner of thoughts raced through my brain, but only one gave me the action that I needed.

Quickly, I teleported away from her as her axe swung past where I was and embedded itself into the ground, shattering the marble floor upon impact. I then reappeared behind and slightly above her and magically spawned my own weapon, a claymore, and swung down on her just like she did me. Before I could even hit her however, with a single flap of her wings, she lifted herself off of the ground and moved to the right, pulling her massive axe out of the floor with her as she turned to face me. Time slowed to a crawl again for me as I watched her move, and thats when I noticed her wings, they weren’t normal, they were bat wings. I also saw her cutie mark, which looked exactly like the battle axe she was carrying.

I kept my eyes on her, and after a moment, she had spun around enough so that I saw her face. The first thing I saw were her eyes, they were yellow, and her pupils were long and thin, like those of the lunar guard. The next thing I saw was her smile, her toothy smile. So toothy that she had two long, pronounced fangs in place of canines. If nothing else, that proved it. She was a vampony. Finally, the third thing I saw, was her face as whole. Her expression, she was… giddy… kind of like Pinkie Pie, only evil.

Time immediately sped back up again the moment her hooves touched the floor, and she rushed at me with her battle axe already in mid swing. She was fast. Despite the massive battle axe that she was carrying, she was on me faster than I could react and swung her axe horizontally at me. As my own hooves touched the floor I leaned my head back as far as I could go, but I only barely managed to avoid it. I could practically feel it’s edge touching my neck.

Less than a second after I was clear of that, I backed up, but she spun her battle axe around her neck and swung at me again. Quickly, I swung my sword and deflected her attack. She staggered for a moment at that, and I quickly swung upwards at her. However, right as my blade reached her, she quickly spun around to the left, seemingly around my sword and swung her battle axe down at me again. Mirroring her action, I stepped to the side and swung my sword again, only for her to block my attack with the staff portion of her axe and push my blade away.

The two of us clashed blades several more times as she swung once more at me. Again I deflected her attacks, and she blocked mine. She wasn’t only fast, but she was tough. She really knew how to handle herself in a fight, something I’d rarely seen in other ponies. After a we clashed blades a few more times, we both swung at each other and locked blades.

“Impressive,” she said to me with a smug grin. “I honestly didn’t expect you to have any fighting skills.”

“Who are you?” I asked her.

“Oh…” she replied as she pushed her face closer to mine. “I think you know.” Then, suddenly, she headbutted me, then punched me right in the stomach with one of her forehooves and knocked me back several feet. So that’s what hit me earlier.

It took me a second to recover, but the moment I did I unfurled my wings again and dug my rear hooves into the ground to keep myself from flying back any farther. As I did, I summoned about two dozen icicles and threw them directly at her.

Right as they reached them however, I saw her smile get even wider somehow. Then, with a quick flick of her hoof, she spun her giant axe around and deflected nearly all of them. Every single icicle I threw at her shattered upon impact as she spun her axe around again and again.

I was… somewhat surprised to say the least to see her do that. Other than my father and a few top ranking members of the royal guard, I’ve never seen anypony block that many projectiles like that in one go, much less somepony with a giant battleaxe like her. As surprised as I was though, I didn’t let it get to me as I summoned two dozen more and threw them all at her again.

Again, with another flick of her hooves, she blocked most of them. She wasn’t going to get me that easily though, as this time, six of the icicles I threw purposefully missed her, as one embedded itself into the ground just behind her, one into the wall just to her left, one in the wall to her right, just in between the windows, two more on the floor, and one just between her hooves. As I saw that happen, I quickly summoned a few more and threw them at her, which I knew she’d block.

She just laughed to herself as she saw them coming, but I couldn’t help but smirk a bit myself as the walls and floor slowly began to freeze as ice slowly began to spread out from all of the icicle that missed her. In a few seconds she’d be frozen, and I could finish her off right there.

As if she detected the sudden change in temperature, she looked down at the floor beneath her hooves, then back up at the icicles still coming towards her, and her eyes went wide. That was it, she was done.

“S***!” She shouted as she unfurled her bat like wings and took off. Her hooves hadn’t yet frozen enough to keep her still, and she was able to lift herself off of the ground with little effort. While she was airborne, she, much to my amazement, quickly spun herself around and spun her axe around her in mid air as she either dodged or deflected all of the remaining icicles.

As I saw this, I quickly swung my sword at her and created a powerful wind blade that spanned the whole corridor. Right as it reached her however, with the grace of some kind of airborne dancer, she flipped herself right over it. Then, her eyes locked on me as the expression on her face suddenly changed, she wasn’t having fun anymore.

She suddenly screamed as she lifted her giant axe above her head, and threw it right right at me.

“Well buck me,” I said to myself as I watched the axe fly towards me faster than any of the icicles I shot at her. Just before it hit me, with a little help from my wings I held up my sword and jumped backwards. The axe however, cut right through my sword like it was paper and embedded itself into the floor right where I stood. It cut through my sword… that was close.... I then looked back up at the bat pony to see her rushing me.

Thinking quickly, I grabbed her axe with my magic and tried to lift it up and swing it at her. However, even with my magic, her axe was damn heavy. I couldn’t even make it budge an inch. As I kept trying to move the axe, I looked back up at her to see her right in front of me. I could practically see myself in her eyes. Before I could even react, she punched me right in the face and knocked my several feet backwards onto my back. Without even landing, she grabbed her axe with both her forehooves, flipped herself over, and took the axe from the floor like it didn’t weigh any more than a pebble. Seriously, how was she even able to lift that thing?

I landed on my back and skidded down the corridor for a few feet before I finally stopped. When I looked back up, the only thing I could see was the batpony right above me, her axe held high above her head. She screamed at the top of her lungs as she brought the axe down on me. Instinctively, I put up a magical shield, but before she could even hit me, another magical shield suddenly formed itself around mine. This one indigo in color. The batpony’s axe hit the barrier, but couldn’t budge through it. After a second, she stopped trying and landed on the ground a few feet away from me.

“That’s enough Victoria!” I heard a familiar voice shout, and both of us looked down the corridor adjacent from us to see auntie Luna standing there, her horn glowing as she kept the the barrier over me going. At the sight of her, the batpony just smiled again. I…. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. This….. this batpony that was trying to kill me… was Victoria? It made no sense.

“Oh,” she said as she spun her giant axe around and held it at her side. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it Luna?”

“Victoria…” Luna replied as she slowly walked towards her, but kept her horn glowing. The look on her face was… something I couldn’t place. It was almost as if she was sad. “Why?... Why are you here?”

“Why!?” Victoria shouted at her angrily. The smile on her face gone. “Revenge! I just want revenge! Claymore killed my father, but he’s gone, I’m just settling for the next best thing! It’s only fair! Her life for my father’s!”

“Victoria…” Luna said again as she kept moving closer to her. “This… This is…”

“Wrong!?” Victoria finished her sentence. “Sure, sure it’s wrong, and I suppose killing my father wasn’t!?”

“Victoria…” Luna said again, she was almost within reach of her. “Your father-”

“Stay away from me!” She shouted as she held out her axe. “Just stay away…” The look on auntie Luna’s face… it was almost as if every word she said hurt her.

“Your….” she tried to speak, but found it very difficult. “Your father was-”

“Was what!?” Victoria interrupted her. “A monster!? It’s okay, just say. I’ve gotten used to hearing it after all these years. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore.”

“I….” Luna tried to speak, but Victoria cut her off again.

“Am I a monster too?” she then asked. She was biting grinding her teeth so hard she was practically drawing blood. “Is that why you abandoned me? Is that why-”

“I looked for you!!!” Luna shouted as loud as she could, any louder, and it would have been the royal Canterlot voice. “I spent over a century scowering Equestria, the world, I turned over every rock, looked in every cave I could find, I even went to Tartarus. I-”

“LIAR!!!” Victoria shouted before Luna could say anymore. “You never looked for me, and even if you did you certainly didn’t look hard enough! The vamponies told me everything. You probably knew where I was the whole time, but you never looked there did you!? You never even bothered to look in the vampony nest because you were so ashamed of what I was that you would have rather let them have me than admit to all of Equestria that your daughter was a monster just like her father!!!” At that, I saw it, Luna broke. She broke right there as a tear rolled down her face, followed by a second, and then a third.

It… it was impossible… What Victoria said… If it were true, then the maiden that Count Fang seduced all those years ago was…

“Vic-” Luna tried to speak between her tears.

“SHUT UP!!!” Victoria shouted as she rushed at Luna and punched her square in the face and knocked her to the ground. Luna didn’t even fight back, she just fell, fell like the tears falling from her face. As she fell, her horn stopped glowing, and the magical barrier than was over me faded.

Luna didn’t even try to get up, but before she could even move, Victoria put a hoof on her chest and held her to the ground, her axe already raised above her head.

“JUST SHUT UP AND DIE!!!” Before she could do anything else, I quickly jumped back up to my hooves, summoned a single icicle, and threw it at her. The icicle hit Victoria right in her right hoof and embedded itself in her wrist so far that it was coming out the other side. Victoria screamed in pain as she dropped her axe and turned back to look towards me, but I was already on her.

As fast as I could, flew at her, covered my right hoof with ice for good measure, and punched her square in the face just like she did auntie Luna. The force of the blow shattered the ice around my hoof and knocked Victoria off of Luna. She flew a few feet before she hit the ground and rolled for a little bit before stopping. She tried to stand, but the icicle in her hoof made it difficult for her.

“You… You little bitch!” She shouted at me as she got back to her hooves, baring her teeth. “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU!! I’LL KILL YOU!!!!” Then, at that, she spread her wings and flew right at me.

As I saw her coming at me and auntie Luna, I thought back to all the research I did. Who Victoria was, the story of her and my father, Count Fang, everything, and I remembered one thing. There was one thing, my father didn’t think to use it, but there was one thing that vamponies hated.

Instinctively, I charged my horn with as much magic as I could as a bright flash of light as bright as the sun came from my horn and filled the entire hallway. I didn’t see it, but I heard Victoria scream in pain as I knew the light hit her eyes. I kept the light going as long as I could, but it was a lot to work with, holding up a light as bright as the sun wasn’t as easy as one would think. Then, suddenly, I heard the sound of glass shattering, and I stopped.

As the light died, I took a moment to catch my breath and look around the corridor. Neither Victoria, nor her giant axe were anywhere to be seen. Down the hall, at the very end leading into the adjacent corridor, I noticed that the window was shattered, as if somepony had jumped through it.

Despite that every instinct I had told me to run after her, to catch her, to make her answer for what she tried to do, something else took hold, and I ran back to Auntie Luna.

“Auntie Luna!” I said to her as I rushed over to her, but she didn’t respond. “Auntie Luna!” I shouted again, shaking her a little, still nothing. “Auntie Luna!!!” She wouldn’t respond, she wasn’t even twitching. She was out cold. “Guards!” I instinctively shouted. “Guards! Somepony! Anypony!!!” As I kept shouting, the realize of the situation slowly dawned over me.

All that happened… Victoria… Luna, I… I couldn’t believe all of it, somepony… one of them was lying, but more importantly, regardless of who was telling the truth and who wasn’t, somepony was out there, somepony that wanted me dead, and was mere seconds away from achieving that goal, and to be completely honest, it scared me.

I’m… I’m scared…. Mother help me.

Author's Note

Character Profiles #4
Name: Filia Solis
Race: Alicorn Pony
Title: Princess of Equestria
Coat Color: Orange
Mane Color: Red with Pink streaks.
Eye Color: Green
Special Talent: Magic
Theme Song: Storytime by: Nightwish

Character Profiles #5
Name: Victoria Fang
Race: Vampony
Coat Color: Light Grey
Mane Color: Black
Eye Color: Yellow
Special Talent: Axe Wielding
Theme Song: Blood by: Papa Roach

Lunch with the Brother

Lunch with the Brother

------------------------------------------------------*Light Arrow*-----------------------------------------------------

Well, I had a few days off from guard duty and now I’m on a train to Ponyville about to go met up with Screwball. We’ve been seeing each other for a about a month and a half now, and she’s asked me to come down to Ponyville to meet her brother.

So I’m getting to meet her family. It should be fine, I mean what’s the worst that could happen...

Eventually, the train arrived at the station and I hopped off. For some reason it didn’t take nearly as long as I remember it. Oh well. When I stepped off the train my first instinct was to go look around for Screwball, but she was already there, smiling at me.

“Hey there,” She said as she practically glomped me. Not that I minded.

“Hi,” I said grinning back.

“Its good to see you,” she said as she got off of me.

“Its good to see you too,” I said back to her. “Never thought I’d be back in Ponyville anytime soon, but here I am.”

“You’ve been here before?” she asked, giggling.

“Yeah, once or twice,” I replied as she led me out of the station to her house.

The following day around noon Screwball led me through town towards the restaurant where we were supposed to meet her brother and his wife. I recognized a little bit of Ponyville from when I was here last, back when my friend Seth got married. That was almost a year ago now.

Eventually we made it to the restaurant. When we got there, we walked right past the mare at the front and headed towards one of the outdoor tables where to my surprise I saw a very familiar midnight black unicorn stallion and rainbow maned pegasus mare.

The unicorn’s jaw drops practically dropped when he saw me.

“Light Arrow?!” he exclaimed.

“Oh… hey Seth… what are you doing here?” I asked him, scratching the back of my head.

“Well, I was waiting for my sister so she could introduce me to her new coltfriend that she’s been talking about.” Now it was my turn for my jaw to drop. “I’d ask you what you’re doing here too, but since you’re here with Screwball right now, I think I can put two and two together.”

“You’ve got to be bu-” Before I could finish that sentence, Screwball cut me off.

“Wait? You two know each other?” Screwball said as she looked back and forth between us.

“Yeah, he was at our wedding,” Seth replied, wrapping one of his forelegs around Rainbow Dash. It was at that point that I noticed the bandages around his forehooves.

“Oh…” Screwball said in realization. “Well I was… a bit tipsy then, so-”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait…” I interjected while frantically waving my hooves. “You’re telling me that there was a drunk supermodel at your wedding and I didn’t notice?”

“You were probably busy hitting on Pinkie Pie something,” Seth just said while rolling his eyes.

There was an awkward silence between us for a few seconds. Eventually, Screwball spoke up and said, “Well umm… let’s all sit down, okay?”

With that, the two of us sat down with Seth and Rainbow Dash. Almost as soon as we did, a waitress quickly came to take our orders.

“So umm..., how did you two meet?” Rainbow Dash finally asked. Thank Celestia she was the one who asked that and not Seth… Not sure why that made me feel a little bit better.

“Well,” Scewball began, I figured it’d be best to let her take this one. Better her than me. “My friend Fleur de lis set me up on a date with Prince Blueblood. Long story short, he was a douche and… umm… left. Light was there as his guard, and I ended up having dinner with him instead. He was so much nicer and well… here we are.”

“What about you guys?” I quickly asked as soon as she was done. “I mean, I don’t recall hearing how you two met.” The two of them just stared at me for a few seconds, but then Seth opened his mouth to speak.

“Well…” Seth began, but Rainbow quickly covered his mouth with her hoof before he could get another word out.

“Let me explain,” she said to him. “Last time you did you almost gave my dad an aneurysm.”

“What?” I asked

“He didn’t word it the best way.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Anyways,” Rainbow Dash began. “I was asked by our friend Applejack to help her take down her old barn. I agreed, mostly because it gave me a chance to test out a trick I was working on. Anyway, on the way we ran in Seth, who was sleeping in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres. That’s pretty much all there is to how we met. How we got together is an even longer story.”

“Which I can take that from there,” Seth said with a smile before snuggling Rainbow a bit.

“You’re just going to sweet talk as much about me as you can aren’t you?” she asked in a playful manner.

“Possibly,” he replied.

“Fine, but don’t be too embarrassing,” Rainbow just said with a sigh.

“Oh please, if I embarrassed you I’m sure you wouldn’t of married me.”

‘Geeze won’t these two get on with it?’ I couldn’t help but think to myself. I mean, yeah I’d never seen Seth with his wife, but I never imagined he could be so… lovey dovey…

“Anyways,” Seth continued. “From there the two of us spent some time hanging out together. Pulling pranks on Nightmare Night, helping each other out with problems, watching her tricks, or just whatever. Then one day I realized that I had feelings for her, though I didn’t say anything about it. Then came Hearts Warming Day… and that was the day I came clean about being created by Discord.”

Being created by Discord… That didn’t shock me or anything, I always knew that about him. Tatarus, Discord was at his wedding, not easy to forget a thing like that, but the larger implication hit me like a freight train… Screwball was Seth’s sister…. Celestia help me I’m dating the daughter of Discord.

Not sure if I should be terrified or not.

Seth continued, seemingly oblivious to my internal panicking, “She didn’t take it too well at first, not that I blame her, but we eventually talked about it and I confessed my love for her.” At that Seth turned to Rainbow. “I was so happy to hear that she felt the same.” Then at that he nuzzled her again. “There that wasn’t too embarrassing, was it?”

“No, but knowing you, I was expecting way worse,” Rainbow said. Celestia these two really are lovey dovey.

After that nopony spoke for a few moments. Eventually I decided to break it.

“If you don’t mind me asking, What happened to your hooves, Seth?” I asked.

“Eh, long story,” Seth replied. “I sort of... got into a bit of a disagreement with a universe destroying goddess, and my hooves got a little burned from trying to rip off her horn.” He said that like that was a completely normal thing to say. What was even more surprising was that neither Rainbow, or Screwball had any reaction to it.

Eventually, we got our food and talked a bit more while we ate. Thankfully Rainbow did most of the talking, Seth just mostly followed her lead.

After we finished our food, Rainbow and Screwball went off to the “little filly’s room,” leaving me alone with Seth. Part of me wanted to stop them, but I thought better of it. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s Seth, we’ve been friends for a long time, the worst he could do is- And just before I could finish that thought I looked back at him to see him glaring death at me.

“Okay, we need to talk,” Seth said to me. If looks could kill, Seth probably already would have killed me by now.

“Now Seth,” I tried to say. “I just want you to know that I-”

“Listen, you’re my friend, nothing about that has changed in the past hour.” Okay, maybe this would be as bad as I tho- “But remember back at my bachelor party, you said something along the lines of, what was it again? Oh yeah, ‘I just don’t see the point in tying yourself down to one mare.’” CRAP! He did remember that. “Now theres something you should know. For the longest time, Screwball was the only family I had, so I care a lot about her. Now, I don’t know if you still feel the same way as you did back at my party, but if you do, then I’m just gonna say this now. I’ve fought an extradimsional gargoyle, Chrysalis, a half dragon half gargoyle hybrid, a copy of myself, and a universe destroying goddess, you don’t scare me at all. If you break my sister’s heart in any way, if she comes crying to me… Then I swear this planet won’t be a big enough place for you to hide. Are we clear?”

I couldn’t speak. I just stared into his eyes that despite being a warm red they seemed ice cold. Though I didn’t need to look into them to know that he meant every word he was saying. Especially the “planet won’t be a big enough place for you to hide” part.

I didn’t get a chance to respond to his question though. Before I could Screwball and Rainbow Dash returned, and the second he was within eye shot of her, he regained his former, lovey dovey composure, smiling at them like nothing happened.

I made a mental note not to screw this up… at all…… Do I even know how to let a girl down gently? Buck me...

After that we said our goodbyes and left. Screwball and I spent the rest of the day together until I had to go back to the train station. Screwball went with me of course.

“So, that seemed to go well,” Screwball said.

“Yeah, I guess,” I replied. Seth’s words still haunted me, though I still wasn’t entirely sure just how scared I should be. Could the princesses take down Seth? They probably could….

And now I’m starting to wonder if this mare is worth it or not.

Then my train arrived, my thought process screeching to a halt along with it. Just before I was about step onto it, the next thing I knew I was suddenly pulled and Screwball pressed her lips against mine. We stood there for what seemed like forever, neither of us really wanted to let go. Though eventually, we did. We both knew we had to.

“Bye,” Screwball said with a slight giggle before walking off.

I just stood there and watched her walk away, her hips swaying with every step. There was only one thing I could think to say.

“Yup, she’s totally worth it.”

Dinner with a Royal Pain

Dinner with a Royal Pain

--------------------------------------------------*Screwball*-----------------------------------------------------------

‘Ugghhh, I hate these things,’ Is what went through my mind as I just stood in the middle of some fancy party while Photo Finish blabbed about “Da Magiks” or some bullcrap like that.

If I knew that talking to ponies, especially some of these elitist Canterlot unicorns, racist bastards, I wouldn’t of agreed to this modeling job… Okay I would’ve of been more hesitant, but still. I mean it’s not like I enjoy it or anything, it’s just that it pays way more than working at Colgate’s dentist office.

Hell, if I’m correct I should be able to start up my technology company pretty soon. I’m sure that after I finish Vinyl’s base cannon, assuming that I’ll get a chance to go back to Ponyville to work on it before Photo Finish needs me for something else, I’ll finally get some attention. Though I gotta question why a DJ would want a weapon, sound-based or not, but eh, more power to her.

“Why good to see you again, Miss Screwball,” a posh female voice suddenly said to me. I turned my head left to see a skinny white mare with a pink mane, and a fleur de lis for a cutie mark, which like me with my own, I knew she shared her name with. I’ve always wondered why it is that some ponies have their cutie marks end up being the same thing as their name, but if I think about it too much then I’ll probably start sounding like Lyra and her bald ape conspiracy theories.

“Hey, Fleur, how are you doing?” I said to her. It was just then that I noticing the necklace hanging around her neck with a round, light pink gem on it. “Nice necklace. Pink sapphire I see.”

“Why thank you. My darling, Fancy Pants got it for me for my birthday.” She said with a grin that showed that she was definitely bragging. Granted if I ended up marrying somepony with that much money, I’d probably brag about it too. “Oh, but enough about me. What have you been up to?”

“Eh, not much,” I replied. “My brother got married a few months back, but though that’s about it.”

“Oh yes, the famous Seth Disarmonia, right?” she said as she brought her hooves together and pretended to swoon. “Thank Celestia for him. When my Fancy Pants went missing I was so crestfallen. You could imagine my joy when he reappeared and told me of the black unicorn that freed him from the red fog creature.”

I was kinda shocked by that, mostly cause that I was unaware that one of “The Voice’s” victims was Fancy Pants, but I didn’t think too much about it and said, “Well I guess I can, I don’t know.”

“Why what do you mean?” Fleur said before her eyes suddenly went wide. “Wait… You... You don’t mean to tell me that a young, attractive mare such as yourself is single!?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal, I mean not that I would mind-”

“We must fix this at once!” Fleur practically shouted, wrapping a foreleg around me. “I swear to you Screwball, with Celetia as my witness, I will find you a special somepony!”

“Ummm… Fleur that’s not necessary, and also ponies are staring.” I said, a little more than slightly embarrassed.

“Nonsense!” Fleur shouted. “Your brother save my beloved, so it is only fair that as thanks, I help you out.”

“How does helping me get a coltfriend act as a thank you to my brother?”

“Well, if I had siblings I wouldn’t want to see them alone.”

“And now you’re making it sound like I’m a burden,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Also, would you please let go of me.”

“Apologies Miss Screwball,” Fleur said as she did as such. “Now I’ll be off, and I will let you know when I find a reasonable suitor for you.”

She then walked off back in the party and left me there. It was only after she walked away that the reality of the situation finally dawned on me.

‘What did I just get myself into and how did I get into it?’ I couldn’t help but think.

About five days later I received a message from Fleur. She told me that I was to meet my new “special somepony” at this restaurant in Canterlot that had a very Prench sounding name. Against what I knew was my better judgement, I ended up going. So, for my…. date…, I dressed in a simple black dress and an... experimental bracelet and walked over from the motel that I was staying at to the restaurant.

I did wait for a few minutes after arriving before the pony that Fleur set me up with showed up. I was just standing there staring the fountain in front of the restaurant when a stallion’s voice suddenly grabbed my attention.

“Are you, Miss Screwball?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied as I turned around to face the stallion in question. He was a unicorn with a white coat, blond mane, and had some sort of compass or star or something for a cutie mark.

Behind him was a dark blue pegasus stallion in royal guard armor. The look on his face pretty much screamed ‘I don’t want to be here.’ Strangely enough, he looked kinda familiar to me.

“Good evening, Miss Screwball, allow me to introduce myself,” the unicorn said as he took my right hoof and kissed it, which made me blush almost instantly. “I am Prince Blueblood. Mrs. De Lis asked of me to accompany you this evening.”

‘Wait, a prince? She got me a bucking prince?... I know Fleur and her husband know a lot of ponies, but damn!’ I thought before I said, “A Prince huh?... Well, I guess that explains the guard behind you.”

Prince Blueblood looks over at said guard and said, “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just here for my personal safety, just in case. I mean who knows what could happen to an unprotected member of the royal family.”

“Oh yes, Celestia forbid that something happens to you. There’s no way that Equestria could possibly function without you,” the guard said sarcastically.

Prince Blueblood just shot him a glare before he turned back to me, “Anyways, Miss Screwball, shall we get seated?”

So the three of us walked into the restaurant where the stallion at the front it was quick to seat us. I guess that’s the advantage being a member of the royal family.

We were seated almost immediately, with his guard having to stand.

Within moments of arriving the waiter quickly came up to our table. “Evening, Prince Blueblood, and Madam, have you decided what you would like, or would you like to take a few more minutes?”

“Yes, I would like to start up with a salad with exactly two cups of lettuce, 30 pieces of onion, 22 shreds of carrot, a half a cup of cheese, five tomatoes, and a small amount of creamy Istallion dressing. Then for the main course I would like a shroomsteak cooked medium rare, with zebracan seasoning.”

The waiter wrote down that order as quickly as Blueblood could say it, then turned to me, “And you miss?”

I just looked at the menu and said, “Uhhh… I’ll have a cranberry salad with strawberry vinaigrette and squid ink spaghetti.”

The waiter quickly took that down then went off.

We sat there for a few minutes. Since Blueblood wasn’t saying anything I decided to ask the first question, “So, as a Prince what do you do exactly?”

“Oh, it’s so boring… so very boring... I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about it,” he said.

“Or in other words, he does nothing,” the guard said.

Prince Blueblood shot him another glare before he continued. “Lets not talk about my boring duties as a Prince of Equestria, lets talk about you? Mrs. De Lis tells me that you’re one of Photo Finish’s models.”

“Yeah, but that just something I’m doing until I have enough money to start my own business.”

“Oh, what type of business?”

“Technology. I’m a bit of a mad scientist.”

“I see... So you’ll be starting your business here in Canterlot?”

“Nah, more likely Ponyville.”

“Ponyville!?” Blueblood said with a start. “What would you want to start a business, for technology of all things, in a town of country bumpkins like Ponyville?” I couldn’t help but feel slightly offended by that.

“Well one, its where I live, and two, it’s not a town of “country bumpkins” as you put it. Where did you ever get that idea?”

“Trust me, one year the Grand Galloping Gala was ruined by a group of mares from that wretched town. One of them even had the nerve to insult me for no good reason.”

While Blueblood was in the middle of speaking the guard started to walk away. “Excuse me!” Blueblood practically screeched as he turned his attention to him. “Where do you think you’re going guard?”

“Look, you forced me to come here and guard you, forcing me to cancel my own plans, so you can at least let me have a bathroom break.” The guard said, sounding annoyed.

Blueblood gave him a stern look before he said, “Very well, but next time you better ask permission before walking off.”

The guard rolled his eyes and left for the bathroom as Blueblood turned his attention back towards me.

“I am terribly sorry,” he said. “Please, continue Miss Screwball.”

“Well... another reason I’d like to say in Ponyville is because I have family there. My brother and his wife to be exact. I don’t know if you know them, but they’re kind of a big deal. Though if you don’t then I’m certain you know of my father.” I said to Blueblood.

“Well, who are…” Blueblood began, sounding, or at least pretending to sound, interested before the waiter came back with our salads and placed them on the table.

Blueblood looked at his with a disgruntled look on his face, “Excuse me waiter! what is this?” he asked, pointing at his salad.

“Ummm… what you ordered?” The waiter responded.

“What I ordered? Oh no no no no no. I said that I wanted 30 pieces of onion, but I can clearly see that there are 31! It was a simple instruction and you couldn’t even follow that!”

“Seriously?” I said. “You’re getting upset over an extra onion? I mean if it’s that big a deal then just put it in my salad.”

Blueblood just glared at me for a second, then said, “Very well.” He then looked at the waiter and said, “You’re off the hook for now.”

At that the waiter rushes off, and Blueblood turned to me saying, “Appologies, Miss Screwball. What was it that you were saying before we were rudely interrupted by that waiter’s inconfidence? Ah yes, your father? Is he a well know here in Canterlot? Perhaps a businesspony or-”

“No. He’s Discord.”

“What?!”

“Yep. Discord’s my dad. Though he doesn’t bother me as much as my brother, Seth. I guess he gets more annoyed by him than I-”

“Quite! You beast!” Blueblood quite literally shouted.

“What?”

“You claim to be the daughter of one of Equestria’s most hated enemies!? I… I should have you arrested for such claims!”

“Ummm… You do know Discord’s been reformed right? Besides, my brother and I were open about it for quite some time even before that and we weren’t arrested.”

“You speak nonsense!” Blueblood shouted again, bashing his hooves onto the table and sending his salad up into the air. It would have landed on me if I didn’t press a button on my bracelet which made it turn into a hoof mounted gravity cannon, which I used to grab the plate in mid-air. Yes, I did do that.

I then placed the plate down on the table and said to Blueblood, who had a look of surprise plastered onto his face. “You know, going into this I had a feeling that it wouldn’t go well, but I didn’t expect to be insulted because who my family is. That’s just a dick move. On top of that, you almost sent your salad at me. Sure, that was probably an accident, but you probably wouldn’t have felt bad if it did.” I then point my hoof cannon at Blueblood, which wrapped him a cyan arua just like it did the salad.

“What is this?!” He shouted, sounding scared.

“An experimental gravity cannon I’ve been working on. It’s a way for non-unicorns to use telekinesis. It also doubles as a bracelet when not in use. Though what do you care, you probably didn’t give a crap about most of the things I said.”

“You are correct about that she-demon!”

“You know, it’s insults like that that’ll get you thrown out of here.”

“Oh, the owner of this restaurant wouldn’t dare throw out a prince.”

At that I smirked and said, “I was talking about getting thrown out by me.” Then, with that Blueblood was repulsed away and he went flying out the nearby window.

After that I smiled and let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding in as I sat back down, my gravity cannon turning back into a bracelet.

Then the guard showed back up. “Hey, where’d Blueblood go?” he asked.

“Oh, he said he had some immediate royal business to attend to and he went off.”

“Oh, so I guess I can go home now.”

“I guess,” I said. “You did say you had plans right?”

“Nah, that was a lie.”

“Oh… well, if you’ve got nothing planned, Blueblood didn’t eat any of his food. Care to join me?”

The guard looked at me for a good couple of seconds, like he was checking me out or something and said, “Sure.”

“My name’s Screwball by the way,” I said with a smile.

He took off his helmet as he sat down, revealing his light purple mane and said, “Light Arrow.”