Between A Rock And A Hard Thing

by Hazardus_Havard

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Sex, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Human
Length: 4830

This was supposed to be a prank... but it turned into something MUCH more. And now you're out here, in the woods, having sexy time with Rarity and... another. Guest star featuring Tom the Rock!

This was supposed to be a prank... but it turned into something MUCH more. And now you're out here, in the woods, having sexy time with Rarity and... an unexpected guest.

Guest star featuring Tom the Rock!

Published 2013-03-11 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-11 03:50:01 UTC

Between A Rock And A Hard Thing (Feat. Tom the Rock)

Keep… perfectly… still…

You don’t want to disturb what is about to happen. A line of sweat runs down your brow, making it hard to concentrate on staying still. Everything you’ve done, all your plans for this one glorious moment, they would be ruined if you were caught at the last second.

Lifting your hands up slowly, you grasp the sides of the camera you brought with you; having evidence of what is about to happen would make this even sweeter. Staying out here in the forest would have been risky with all the wildlife, but you came prepared. Zecora sold you some repellant that would keep away the dangerous creatures. It gave you the space and seclusion needed for this.

There was that shuffle again. She must be close. You slowly move your head over to where the sound came from. Sure enough, you see your target walking out into your line of sight. She looked very nervous being out here, almost unsure of herself or probably wondering what she was doing. Once she noticed what you set up, you see her jaw drop and her eyes widen in surprise.

A smile creeps across your face, stretching from side to side from seeing her reaction. That alone made this well worth the effort of your plans, but you wanted to see more. You push a button, forcing the camera to take a picture of her face. You had the flash off; you were just hoping she didn’t hear the click. Since she didn’t react to it, you assume she hadn’t. Watching her, you see her taking a few breaths to calm herself before walking closer to what you set up.

This is going to be the best prank you’ve ever done. Rarity is definitely the perfect target for this.

She’s extremely slow, walking forward to where you set everything up. It sure was a lot of hard work getting everything set up to make this work over the last month. You even remember the exact time that you decided to do this. Dash had goaded you one day into doing a prank, seeing how good you were. Long story short, you were miserable at it. She laughed her ass off at your pathetic attempt before flying off, telling you to ‘up your game’.

That was after she turned the prank around and got you landed in some hot water with Applejack. You went to the bar that night trying to get a drink in hopes of relieving your stress. That’s when you heard what would be the catalyst of your prank. You don’t remember the stallions present, but you do recall what they said.

They were having a drunken discussion on the mares around the town and the many assets that made them desirable. The stallions at the table had garnered a crowd at their table, each one adding in their own two cents into the conversation. Their choices had gone from best looking colors to the nicest manes, but it of course went on to the more perverse of topics.

Such as how round and plump Fluttershy’s rump looked as she walked on by them, or how Pinkie’s would jiggle with a bounce that had them eager to watch her bounce some more. And with each pony they brought up, they included what they considered was their faults.

They had just brought up Rarity and her very voluptuous ass, discussing how they wondered if she tasted like marshmallows. At that point, you were intently listening to their conversation at your own table, feeling pretty worked up. It was unanimous that she was one of the best looking mares in town.

The stallions were just going into descriptions of her horn and her teats when they immediately shifted gears and started into her faults: Rarity’s upper-class personality, her whining, how she unrealistically expects a stallion in shining armor to sweep her off her hooves.

It made most of the stallions feel letdown that they would never get a chance at her. You had other thoughts, though…

When their conversation turned to faults, one stallion brought up her time when she was ‘discorded’ and had been obsessed with a rock, believing it for a diamond. The other ponies at the table brushed it off, saying that wasn’t a real fault and a onetime thing. You, on the other hand... saw prank material…

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The very next day, you asked questions around town, finding all that you could about Rarity. You already knew her plenty well, but having more info would be handy. She’s an alright mare, if a bit annoying here and there. You found out what she liked, who she idolizes, anything that would make her feel wooed.

After collecting everything, you spent the entire next day locked inside your house. You planned a map of attack on Rarity, and it needed to be perfect. This may have been over the top for a prank, but you wanted to shove it into Rainbow Dash’s face that what you’re about to do will be the greatest prank ever.

It was only missing one thing. It took you an entire day searching through the Everfree Forest… but you found it. It was the rock that Rarity threw in here so long ago. You pushed it into a clearing inside the forest before setting up what would become the center of your operation for the next month.

The first day, you were subtle with Rarity.

You sent to her some of her favorite candies, a few bouquets throughout the day, and some letters of adoration in cute poems. It was only a few small things here and there, addressed from an unnamed person. The rest of the first week went like that with increasing praises in her letters and gift giving. She was giddy with joy from all the attention, practically shoving her secret admirer in her friend’s faces.

You couldn’t wipe off the smile from your face the entire week. It was time to reveal to Rarity who her ‘secret admirer’ really is. It took a while to clean the damn rock. It was enormous and you couldn’t just jump on top of it. You had to hammer in some fairly large pegs just to hold your weight so you could get up to the top.

It took a while, but you finally got the entire damn thing cleaned. Afterwards, you made sure to dress it up by placing a nice hat on top of it. It felt so impersonal though, so… dry. You chipped in new holes and put the peg up, making it look like it was holding something. Now it was wearing a tie while holding a coffee cup.

Perfect. You took several pictures, making sure to get the best angles of ‘Tom’. It was a bit difficult since you needed to hide the multiple holes in the damn rock. Afterwards, you took the pictures and held onto them until just the right moment for them…

The next week, you hinted to Rarity in letters that you wanted to get to know her but you were uncertain about meeting up with her. You spoke about how you were an old acquaintance of hers she knows and never had the time to really get to know. You gave her an address for her to send letters through the mail so she could talk back.

Rarity would send letter after letter, trying to figure out just who you were. You’d always send a response of letters and more adoration from you, only hinting. She’d continuously ask you about possibly meeting or going out. You’d always reply that such a thing would be rather difficult for you at the moment.

Finally it was the third week. Rarity was flustered by then, uncertain of whom her admirer was. She contacted nearly everyone she knew. Nothing came up for her. You wrote one last letter before you told her you’d reveal yourself. It was your biggest one yet: dozens upon dozens of roses along with chocolates and a small, framed image of her.

…It was surprisingly cheap to afford all of this, especially since nearly all the ponies here in Ponyville owed you favors for everything you did. The wonders of having hands and how efficient you were sure helped you with that.

You sent a letter with her gifts, saying you were ready to reveal yourself tomorrow at night in the next letter. It would be waiting for her in the mail. You took your best pictures and sent them in the mail along with a letter saying that you hoped Rarity would accept you not for how you looked.

It was difficult as all hell to slip past Rarity’s watchful eyes on the mailbox. You had to distract her by having Sweetie Belle talk to her. She was easy to convince with candy.

Sitting up in a tree with your telescope, you watched Rarity through the window of her boutique opening the letter. You saw her face go from giddy, to confusion, to utter shock.

You fell out of the tree laughing your ass off when you saw that. Many bruises came from it.

The next day, you sent in a letter once more asking her if she was fine with how you looked and if she would be generous enough to look past somepony’s looks. You continued sending in flowers and chocolates along with each letter, accompanied by a picture of Tom with a different outfit each time.

Every day, you’d be at that tree to watch her reaction and take pictures. It helped you keep track of Rarity and what you should do the next day. You had to keep going back into the forest to take more pictures. You didn’t know you would use them all so quickly.

Rarity never responded to any of your letters for the third week. It wasn’t until the last day that you wrote a letter, asking her why she would not respond to you. You wrote to her, asking why she seems to be ignoring you all of a sudden. She seemed quite eager to write you letters the previous week, until you showed her something she wasn’t expecting. Did appearances really matter when it should ultimately come down to what’s on the inside? You made sure to write that in, that’s good shit.

The very next day, Rarity actually wrote back with an apology and everything! Everything was going better than you expected. You slowly got Rarity convinced that a rock was really writing to her. Seriously, this was too easy!

It was at the end of the month now. Rarity was slowly coming to terms with the idea of you, or ‘Tom’, if her letters were anything to go by. With the last day, you sent one final letter to Rarity asking for a meet up. You gave her the time and location for the next day.

You had to drag a table all the way out to the damn forest for this. It was hard work, but you felt the extra effort will pay off. There were little candles, a box of chocolates, a vase of blue roses (fucking ridiculous to get from Rose), and you sprayed the place with animal repellant. Zecora assured you it would not drive off ponies. You went out there, preparing the rock and the area. You wanted this to be fucking perfect for the pictures.

As you just got done scrubbing the rock and placing a hat on top of it, you heard some noises coming towards your location. It’s way too fucking early! She was supposed to arrive in another twenty minutes! Jumping down, you quickly snatched your camera and dove into the bushes.

That led you up to now. Rarity was slowly making her way to Tom. She stopped once again, staring at the table with everything on it. Rarity looks around the place as you took a few pictures.

“So… you set all this up?”

Holy fuck, she’s actually talking to it?! You take some more pictures as she smells the roses and looks at the other stuff on the table.

“I love the blue roses. They’re difficult to come by since you can only acquire them through magic and a lot of care.” She turns to ‘Tom’ before looking it up and down. You see her eyes widen all of a sudden, staring at it. “My, my! I see there’s something else for me here…”

What’s she talking about? Watching Rarity walk up to Tom, you look where she’s staring at. Oh, fuck! You forgot to take the peg out of the damn thing!

“This is a strange surprise,” she says, standing in front of Tom with the peg in front of her face.

You had to keep making multiple holes for the stupid peg to fit and that was one of the only few that worked.

“I suppose you’re trying to tell me something…”

Moving her head slowly, she places her head directly in front of the pegs tip. The damn thing was pretty large. It had to be so it would hold your weight up. Using the zoom on your camera, you continue watching as she opens her mouth and slips out her tongue. There’s no fucking way… Is she really…

Her actions answer for themselves. You watch her lick the tip of the peg before wrapping her mouth around it. She suckles on the tip for a few seconds until she opens her mouth once more and begins to slide her tongue against the woodened shaft.

You’re stuck sitting in that bush watching her give head to a rock. Her wet saliva drips down from the peg as she continues to lap it with smooth, controlled strokes from her tongue. Placing her face once more at the now soaked wood, she slowly opens her mouth wide before placing her tongue at the bottom of the shaft, moving in.

T-there’s no way she can take all of that! you think to yourself.

Rarity proved your thoughts wrong once more as you watch her start sliding the peg down her throat with no trouble at all. It was a slow journey, but Rarity finally reached the base of the shaft where Tom’s body met. You can hear her moan slightly as she moves her head from side to side on Tom’s protruded wood.

You can hear a slicking noise as she slurps on the rod, bending her head around the wood. She moves her head back and away from it, leaving a trail of saliva dripping from the wood until she’s fully off with a popping sound. She’s breathing hard standing there in front of Tom with her tongue still sticking out and hanging there. Watching her go down on the peg like that…

The bulge in your pants speaks for itself as you struggling not to make too much noise sitting in the bush. You have to keep readjusting yourself as you crouched there watching everything. The only use your camera has right now is zooming on the scene since you forgot you could take pictures.

Watching her, you see Rarity turn her head towards your bush with a sultry look on her. She turns her body around before tilting her head to the side.

“…Aren’t you going to come out of that bush there?”

Aaaaaand now you’re freaking out. Did she know you were in that bush the whole time? Was she fucking with you?

Slowly standing up, you make sure to leave the camera there on the ground. You don’t want to be caught with that thing on you.

…

The two of you stand in silence, staring at one another. Rarity only quirks an eyebrow at you as you stood there in the awkwardness of the situation. What are you supposed to say? ‘Hey, I totally just watched you go down on Tom there’.

“Come over here,” she tells you, signaling you over with a jerk of her head.

Without thinking, you comply. Standing in front of her, you watch Rarity look you up and down. You see she has a small streak of saliva dribbled down her chin from her previous act.

“So, Tom sure has been interesting for the past month, wouldn’t you say?”

“Deh, I, Uh…”

“Sorry, you’ll have to repeat that, I couldn’t understand you. Maybe it has to do with all the blood from your head…” she points a hoof down at the bulge that is your crotch, “to that ‘head’?”

Okay… you’re not sure what she’s getting at now. You stand there in complete silence for a few moments staring down at her.

“Ugh… sorry, w-what?”

You see her roll her eyes at you.

“Was I not forward enough before with my thoughts? I want,” her horn glows with magic, “you…” grabbing hold of your pants and zipper, “to rut me,” before she undid your pants, pulling them to the ground.

She eyes your Johnson before moving towards it with an open mouth. Before you could react, Rarity quickly wraps her lips around the tip of the head, lightly suckling it while moving her tongue around it in circles.

Your mind quickly goes blank as she works over the tip of your cock, making light slurping sounds on it. You could feel her start sucking on it harder, forcing more into her mouth in large gulps until it reached down her throat. Rarity’s mouth magic was certainly powerful.

You’re not sure why she wants to do this with you… but you’re certainly not going to stop her. The sensation of her swallowing you was fucking over the edge for you. Rarity moved her head up and down on your shaft, never leaving from it the entire time.

Watching her, you could see Rarity lift one of her front legs in between her crotch to get herself off. Well, can’t have that there, you think to yourself, eyeing something far more usable.

Grabbing her horn, you hear her moan on your shaft, making you pause for a moment. After regaining yourself, you lightly rub her horn before shoving yourself into her mouth. It has the desired effect: Rarity starts backing up with each hip thrust you give her. It didn’t take long until she backs her rump into Tom’s protrusion, still slick with her saliva.

Rarity quickly realizes what you’re going with here. She quickly slaps her ass into the rock, jamming the entire peg down into her quivering mound of love pudding. She bends her back legs so she can start thrusting in and out on Tom. You can feel her moan on your cock, the little vibrations stimulating you.

The little fashionista below you stopped most of her sucking, content with coiling her tongue around your shaft with slow bobs; she was more content with grinding herself into Tom. Feeling left out, you grab the back of her head before you started to shove your cock down her throat. Rarity’s eyes widen from the action before slowly drooping back down closed once more. She doesn’t stop your action as you shove your shaft down her throat with Tom getting the action from her crotch sink.

Congratulations, you think to yourself, you have officially spit-roasted Rarity… with Tom.

And would you look at that… no fucks to give!

You continue this for a good while with Rarity slapping her ass back and forth on Tom. Every minute or so, you could hear her squeal out until she wobbles on your junk; you held her there before she comes back to her senses and starts up once more.

She’s really getting off on this. Of course, so were you, with Rarity pleasuring your love knob with her tongue. The feeling of shoving your shaft down her throat was amazing. You nearly climaxed a few times, but you manage to hold off on that by slowing yourself down. You’re not certain how much longer Rarity can go at this, though.

As if to answer you, she slams her plump cheeks down on Tom and holds herself there. You see her eyes are open, trying to look up to you. Moving back, you let your cock out with a plop from her muzzle. She takes large gulps of air from the exertion she performed just moments ago.

“I… I… I w-want you… in me,” she pants out to you.

Standing aside, Rarity slowly moves forward from Tom. She groans out as her honey pot is finally removed from the peg. She turns around, facing her slit to you for entry. It’s dripping wet from her sex.

Quickly acting, you throw the rest of your clothes off before walking up to her. You don't want your clothing to get in the way, and it felt really off having them on while you’re doing this. Grabbing your wet cock, you rub the tip at the base of her entry up and down, forcing a moan from Rarity. You shove on it a few times, gaining a sharp gasp. You continue prodding her but never entering, making Rarity very eager for the action.

“P-put it in,” she whines to you. “I can’t t-take your teasing!”

Grabbing both sides of her ass, you place your cock at her hole, readying yourself for her cunny when a thought pops into your head.

“W-what are you waiting for? Slam into me, I’m so impatient for your stallion-hood!”

…

“You know… I bet Tom would love to be part of the action… don’t you think?”

You could feel Rarity’s body jerk from the completely out of nowhere comment you just made.

“…What?”

“Just… follow my lead,” you tell her.

Moving her to the side, you walk up to Tom and stare down at the peg. The area around it, the ground beneath you, and the peg itself is completely soaked. Grabbing the peg, you have to jiggle it back and forth before it comes out; it was a difficult chore since it was pretty stuck in there.

Walking over to your clothes, you grab your shoe before going back to Tom. Rarity’s watching all of this with curiosity. Looking around Tom, you try and find the hole you needed. Not there… No… Ah, there it is!

It was the hole that you used in the pictures so you could hang things up. This is just the right place for it too… hopefully. Slipping the peg into it, you slam the shoe down a few times so it would stay stuck.

Sighing to yourself, you bend down on the peg before lightly licking Tom’s tip off from the dirt from the shoe. Throwing the shoe away, you grimace at the taste of dirt… but blink at the taste of marshmallows that was Rarity’s sex.

“You taste just like marshmallows, Rarity,” you tell her, gaining a blush. “I wouldn’t mind eating some later on.”

She smiles at that before you walk back over to her. You pick her up, holding Rarity in your arms as you walked back over to Tom.

“S-so what are you planning?”

“I don’t think it would be right letting Tom out of the fun,” you tell her as you lifted her body up into the air, her stomach facing Tom. “So, I thought, ‘why not have double the pleasure’?”

“…What do you mean?”

You smile at her question as you slowly place her entrance back down on Tom, allowing the peg to hold her up momentarily before placing your cock at her back entrance.

“Does that answer your question?”

“W-w-w-w-wait!” she squeals out. “Th-that’s dirty! W-why would you want to…”

“Rarity, we’re out in the woods, fucking like wild animals right now.” You rub your cock at her coal hole. Rarity gasps sharply before letting out a low groan. “I figure since we’re going about like this, why not fill you from both ends?”

You continue prodding her poop chute, holding her velvety cheeks with your hands as she leans against your naked chest. Rubbing Rarity into Tom’s protruded peg, you hear her moan about. She doesn’t take long to answer you, loudly.

“Y-YES! YES! J-JUST SHOVE IT IN ME, NOW!”

You quickly act, letting her weight slip down onto Tom and your shafts. Her lavender pathway doesn’t give way; she’s clenched tight from your entry.

“Loosen up, Rarity. I can’t enter the Hershey Highway if the road’s closed off.”

She gives herself some calming breaths. You can feel her loosen up on your head as it slowly descends over it in a vice grip. Luckily for her, the mouth hug she previously gave you would be all the lube she’d need for this. You rub at her pillowy cheeks as she continues to slide down on both you and Tom.

”Ah-ah-ah,” Rarity repeats with every inch she takes into her.

It’s a long journey, but you finally get your shaft buried deep down her rectal passageway. It’s an extremely tight fit. Rarity’s panting hard with both ends filled. She slumps forwards onto Tom, allowing you more movement.

She’s not going to be able to do much here. It’s up to you to continue this. Lifting her up into the air, you could feel your cock being clenched tight. It takes a little more time to get her back to the tip of your cock; you don’t remove her all the way, uncertain if her ass would allow your Apollo for another lift off into her deep space.

Without warning, you slam her back down onto both you and Tom. Rarity yells out from the sudden action. She continues panting and leaning against Tom, completely submissive to you. You continue lifting her back up and down, going faster with each slamming into her. It doesn’t take long for Rarity to start moaning and squealing.

She was extremely tight on you, making it hard to last long at all. You build up momentum, getting ready to let loose your rocket sauce into her fuel tanks. Before you could warn her, you forcibly slam her down onto you one final time, letting loose down her bowels. Rarity lets loose a guttural scream as she climaxes at the same time you dump your fluids deep into her.

The two of you stand here, panting hard. You’re tired, but you need to get Rarity off of Tom. Forcing your arms to work, you lift Rarity off of Tom before quickly placing her onto the ground. You decide to lie down on the ground beside Rarity, too tired to really care about the dirt… or about Rarity’s own fluids that were covering the ground you are now lying on.

…

Lying there, you could feel Rarity slide against your side before forcing her body on your chest. Holy fuck, you think to yourself, she wants MORE?! Aren’t ponies supposed to have bad sexual stamina? Rarity gets all the way on you before lying her head down on your chest, lightly humming to herself.

…

Okay… so she just wanted to lie her?

“…It took me a while… But I decided… I’m okay with this… with you.”

“…What?”

“This entire month, I mean. All those notes, the flowers, what you said to me… it’s what I’ve been wanting all along.”

…What?

“For a second there, I really thought that Tom was talking to me or that this was something else. But, then I saw you in that tree watching me. I realized that it was really you all along, writing those letters… it was the best time I’ve ever had in my life, this month.”

Oooooh shit! This is bad. You can’t lie to her, even if it would ruin things for her.

“R-Rarity. Last month, that was… it was all-“

“A prank?” she answers you. You blink at her answer. “Please, I’m not stupid. You’re not very good at being discreet.”

“S-so you knew?! Then… why did you do what we just did.”

“I just… wanted a good rutting with you.”

…

“Still… your actions last month, they’re what I’ve been looking in somepony or so long. I decided to make an initiative and snag you up before some other mare could. Really, I’m hoping to make this a long term thing with you.”

“Wait… you want an actual relationship with me?”

“You wrote to me one time that I should overlook somepony’s outer appearance and look more on the inside. With you, I see something I desire more than anything else. …Is there something wrong with me as your special somepony?”

…

“No, I suppose not.”

“Then hush up, place your ‘arm’ around me in a hug, and let me lay down on you.”

…

You slowly lift your arm, placing it over Rarity’s body as you grabbed her side. She lets out a happy moan, burying her face into your chest once more.

“…That’s better.”

~End~