Chapter 1: We! NEED! AN! EXPERT!!!
Things have been weird this night. Neither Jim Miner, Joe Conradi, or Sandy Hunter knew the time, but all they knew is something was going on. Being turned into My Little Ponies was something that would drive you through multiple phases of insanity.
"We must be high! This must be what meth is like!" Said Jim as his-her-his-her... it's mane was now mangled from rolling around trying to walk, "But how would we get meth in that cave?!"
"No... This has to be the best dream ever." said Sandy, laughing to herself as she fell over yet again, "I am so going to tell you guys about this when we wake up!"
"Maybe God wants us to bring upon an era of peace with our newfound cuteness..." said Joe, looking at the sky, "No, that's not it."
Some time after, they went into a hysterical state. Non being able to keep a striaght face, as everything they had known was screwed up.
"When I get back to the dorms... I am so going to beat up that Johnny Hageman kid! Because no one would punch a pony pegasus thing!" Yelled Joe laughing like a mad man.
Sandy at this point was trying to fly a little "Wow, these wings defy physics!" She said, floating unevenly above the ground, before dropping herself.
"WHY DON'T I GET ANYTHING AWESOME?!" Yelled Jim, as he also suddenly laughed, "The Universe must be on it's period... Why do I always get caught in the crossfire of the universes periods?!"
"You mean God, right?" Said Joe, stand up on all four legs again.
Jim chuckled, "God's obviously not it, he's a dude, you can tell from the bible's sexism."
"Maybe God's Ex got a hold of his computer and is getting back by doing stuff like this." Suggested Sandy.
Next, came the overly dramatic stage of their reaction to such an event as too this.
"We going to have to hide in Russia with Edward Snowden!!!!! I DON'T WANNA GO TO RUSSIA!!!" Cried Joe.
Jim grabbed Joe as best he could with his hooves, "WE WON'T BE GOING TO RUSSIA! There is no way anyone will trust us! We look like spies from Hasbro, or pedophiles trying to capture children!"
"MY Parents will not want me anymore! I have to stay in hiding!" Said Sandy, as she cried dramatically on the ground.
Joe sat up again, and felt his left wing, "This thing hurts now... really bad... maybe I should have fallen backwards so many times..."
After a few minutes of that, a bit of rational thinking finally came.
"This is not a dream..." started Sandy, "It is too stable, we have been light this for a couple hours now, and hitting my head on the tree isn't doing anything!"
Jim sat by the small stream nearby, as he asked "Do you guys remember what we saw in the cave?"
Joe thought for a second, "Yeah, that crystaly thingy... That happened?"
Jim spoke up, "Maybe that was radioactive... and we are either mutated or made insane by it!"
Sandy sat looking up at the sky for a while, "Do you guys know what time it is? I am tired, and hungry..."
Joe stood up on all fours, "I have a my phone in my parka."
After some brief effort, Joe dug hims phone out of a compartment of his parka lying on the ground nearby. He then stared at the smartphone for half a minute.
"Joe... how are you going to turn it on?" asked Jim.
"SSHHH! I'm thinking!" said Joe.
After a few moments more, Joe replied, "Well crap."
Sandy and Jim sighed, as Sandy sat back down. Jim however went to his own clothes, and picked up his pants by his teeth.
"What're you doing?"asked Joe.
"I'm tired of being naked, and I am not staying out in these woods any longer!" replied Jim.
"Do you really think you can pass as a human now?" asked Joe.
Jim was now on his back, pulling his pants on over his yellow tale, "Not really, but from a distance and at night here, I can probably sneak into our dorm. Besides, the college is near the woods here."
Joe shrugged, "I guess it's better than waiting to be eaten by mountain lions out here."
Sandy stood up and puches her pink mane away from her face "Alright, mind if I stay in your dorm? We all ought to rest up before trying to think of our next plan."
"Sure." Replied Jim, "Joe, you coming along?
Joe sighed, "Alright, but I'm only wearing the parka."
"You looked ridiculous in it to begin with!" Remarked Sandy, "Now your going to only wear it?"
"Well it looks more conformable than that!" said Joe, pointing to Jim's attempt to stand up on too hooves to put his jacket on, only to fall backwards.
In some time, the trio managed to gather their things. Jim forced his new body into most of his clothes, although nothing really fit right now. Joe Had it better, only wearing the Parka and touting his bag by his teeth. However, Joe's left wings got more painful from the jacket. Sandy managed to fit her light jacket on, but decided not to put on pants, hoping her new yellow fur would appear to just be a bad choice of attire.
"And were off!" Said Joe, as the three of them slowly trotted down the side of the hill the forest was on.
All of them were focusing mostly on walking, as keeping balance was the key. Joe hit a tree face first shortly after they departed, and after a laugh at himself, he got back up and remembered to look up every few feet.
It took a painfully long time, but eventually, light from the college became visible. The trio speed up a bit with excitement at this point, as they came to the edge of the tree cover.
In front of them lay the College grounds, with multiple buildings all around. It was well kept, and well light along all of the paths. They could tell main Dorm rooms weren't too far from this position, but they had the challenge of avoiding any custodians or other people out for some reason at this time of night.
"Alright, let's hug the windmill lab building, then head off through the unlighted open yard to the dorms on the other side." said Jim, eying the path for any people.
"Good idea, I don't want to be seen like this." Said Joe.
"I think you look kind of adorable this way though." said Sandy, giggling.
"I'm not adorable! I'm too 'Murican for that!" said Joe in an irritated tone.
"Keep it down!" Said Jim, as he looked around, "Coast is clear, let's go!"
The three ponies went as fast as they could without tripping, across part of the light path, and up to the edge of the brick building. After recollecting themselves quickly, the went around the side till they coud see the dorms, of which were facing a road on the opposite side.
"Let's just hope no one looks out the windows." said Sandy.
"We better hurry up, looks like it's begining to get brighter." Said Jim.
Sandy and Joe looked at the sky, noticing the full moon was beginning to set, and the east was beginning to light up slightly.
"Yeah, some people will be moving about for their early morning classes." said Joe, "We'll probably have to skip a few today though..."
"Don't mind that, we need to get to bed!" said Sandy.
Jim nodded, "Yeah, let's go while no ones here, shall we drama club?"
"This isn't Drama, it's back and forth stuff." corrected Joe.
"Just Shut up and follow my rear!!!" said Jim.
Jim trotted forward toward his dorm building as fast as possible for him, while Joe and Sandy shrugged and followed.
"Wow, your eyes are pink." said Sandy to Joe.
"What?! Really?" said Joe.
"Just go guys!" said Jim, who was ahed of them by few feet.
In a minute of trotting, the three finally made it to the edge of the dorm building. But, they still had to get in the side door, up the stairs, and into Jim and Joe's dorm without getting noticed.
They got in the door, and started up the stairs. However, it was making some noise with their hooves, and too make it worse Jim fell face forward.
"Ouch!" said Jim.
"Shh!" said Sandy, we need to hurry and be as quiet a possible, we might wake somebody!" said Sandy.
"Right, right." said JIm, as he regained balance and got to the top of the steps.
At the top, he looked out before stepping forward. The hall was light up, but nobody was up and about yet.
"Okay, the dorm it down there." said JIm, and he headed forward quietly.
In a minute it seamed, the three made it to dorm 102, as Jim began reaching in his coat pocket for the card. However, he got it out, but it fell to the ground.
"Dammit!" he said somewhat quietly, as he bent down and picked it up by his teeth.
Suddenly, a door from the other far end of the hallway opened up, and someone began to come out. Jim's eyes widened, and he immediately, tried swiping the card through the door with his teeth. However, it was much harder than anticipated.
"Hurry up!" said Joe, as he looked over and saw a man in a sweatshirt come out, looking at a aper in his hand.
"Immrble Trbbin!" said Jim with the card in his mouth.
The man began to turn their direction, and Sandy said, "Joe, don't look, just cover Jim!"
Sandy and Joe turned their backs while sitting, covering Jim mostly, but bother of their tails were sprung across the floor out from under their jackets. . The steps got eerily closer, as Jim tried swiping more and more.
"Come on!" said Joe quietly, as the steps were now really close.
Suddenly, the door beeped in accaptence of the card, as the man spoke up.
"Early time to be getting up, eh?"
The trio remained quiet, as Joe looked slightly over. The Man was now heading down the stairs, without any more notice.
".... seriously?" said Sandy, as Im pushed the door open.
The three ponies rushed into the dorm, and shut the door. Jim and Joe were greeted to their living space, while both had a room right next too each other.
All three of them fell to the ground, as the windows out of both small bedrooms showed that it was getting lighter outside.
"Did that guy seriously not notice us being... this?!" exclaimed Joe.
"He sounded Canadian..." replied Sandy.
"That explains it." concluded Jim.
The three sat on the ground, ad Joe and Sandy pushed their jackets and bags off. After a few minutes, Jim spoke up.
"Alright. Sandy you can use my bed, I am going to occupy the bathroom for a while." said Jim
"Thank goodness! Said Sandy, as she goot up, trotted into Jim small room, and flopped onto the bed and curled into the blanket, "Ah yes! Lovely bed! So soft... so sleepy time."
Joe spoke up, "I'll just go to my bedroom and think for a bit... Maybe I can get of the computer still."
Jim nodded, as he just trotted to the bathroom, shut the door, and went fetal position. After a few minutes of that, he was getting sick of how unconfortable his new tail felt, so he pulled off his pants, and his jacket.
"So that's my new body..." said Jim, looking in the mirror at his pony self.
He was shorter now, had very short orange fur all around, and a yellow mane thing filled with leaves, sitcks, and dirt.
"I look really feminine... I don't like it."
Jim simply sighed, and sat down, while staring at the mirror.
"Well, might as well take care of this body." He said, reaching forward for a comb.
However, he realized two things. One, he doesn't have a hand. Two, his foreleg was now shaking.
"What is this? Pony Parkinsons?" he said, now noticing more of his body was now twitching, "This doesn't feel good..."
Suddenly, pain began to erupt in his muscles all around, as Jim moaned, "What the heck is this?!"
The pain got more powerful, as he shook more all over. Jim simply fell to the ground, as he held his chest tightly. Suddenly, time seamed to speed up, as everything felt like it was changing. It was all masked by pain, but he could quite put a finger on it.
Then, the pain began to stop, as he opene his eyes again.
"What was that? A siezure?!" He exclaimed, as he stodd up unusually easily.
He then realized he was on his feet, and upon looking down, his normal, wonderful, precious human legs were back. Then he looked at the mirror, seeing his normal, bum-naked self.
"Oh my god! I'm normal again! HANDS! FEET!" He exclaimed hysterically, "Wait... was that all real...?"
Suddenly, joe opened the door, also human, wearing his parka, "I think it was."
"SHUT THE DOOR!" yelled Jim in Response, as he picked up his clothes.
"Whatever Jim, i'm going to ask google about this while your having a time in here." replied Joe.
Jim sighed as he put on his pants, "We need an expert."
Prologue, Don't go into a cave of ice.
Werepony: Were=Human Pony=Pony :P
Werepony= Turn into pony every full moon.
"So, Did you here about what they found out about Decorah?" asked a nineteen year old white male with glasses, a red jacket, and a full camping backpack. His physical features included brown hair, a few freckles, and caucasian skin.
The person infront of him was also nineteen, while wearing a full parka along with touting a camping bag. He had black hair, with more pale caucasian skin, while being the tallest of the group.
"You mean the thing were Decorah is actually in a large meteor crater?" replied the parka person.
Suddenly, a nineteen year old girl came around from back, whom sported a black jacket, and a bag filled with a rope and sleeping-bag. She had brown hanging out, with some more tan caucasian skin.
"I also heard about that," she said, "They said that the meteor may still be under the town!"
The guy wearing the red jacket responded, "Yep, and I plan on searching for it here!"
The other two stopped, and laughed for a second, before the girl replied, "Jim, that' ridiculous! besides, you said we were visiting the ice caves, you know, to go caving!"
"Well I plan on spelunking past the explored parts, just to see if I can find sign of extra terrestial matter." Said Jim as he pulled a small hammer and chisel out of his bag, presumably to gather samples.
The guy wearing the parka replied "We just started our spelunking class, we have too little experience to go the far down. Besides, I'm sure you would run into some radioactive element. Actually, that would make sense, considering all of the Liberals in this town."
The girl slapped the parka guy on the back of the head, "Joe, we all know Republicans are for spoiled rich people, nazi's, and racists." she said in a mocking tone.
Joe, being the only conservative here, replied "All right Sandy, just don't invite all of your pot smoking lesbian girlfriends over to build windmills in the apartment."
Jim groaned, and said "Let's not ruin this with satirical politics. Now come on, the cave is right up here!"
The three went further up a path. They were currently on the side of one of the many large hills around the city of Decorah, and were heading toward the local tourist attraction known as the ice caves. Currently, all three were majoring in Spelunking at Luther College, so that is were this trip came into play, mainly extra credit. They resided in an Iowa town known as Decorah, which was somewhat sizable, but not too big.
At sundown, the trio reached the rather small entrance to the cave. It was about the size of a smart car, yet beside it was a sign with a map of all the known locations in the cave. Joe then began tying their rope to a tree, as Jim studied the map.
"Alright, we will go down to this area!" said Jim, pointing to a part that clearly said 'don't enter'.
Sandy replied "Can't you get good samples from the parts we're aloud to go to?"
Jim replied "Other scientist have likely got rock samples from the permitted areas. Besides, if we stay in the pre explored areas, we technically aren't spelunking."
"He's got a point." added Joe, "Besides, it isn't like there is a horde of zombies down there. Or is there?"
"Shut up! You know zombies freak me out!" scorned Sandy, "The only reason I came anyway was to get extra credit!"
Joe finished tying the rope, and handed everyone their ends to attach to their belts, as Jim said "You should get real extra credit for spelunking past uncharted cave systems!"
Sandy thought for a second, and replied "Well, if here are monsters, I have this pepper spray."
Joe laughed, and said "Leave monster slaying to me." As he lifted his parka to show a Glock attacked to his belt.
Jim groaned, "I told you not to bring that with us!"
Joe replied, "I have a legal concealed carry permit. So screw you, the second amendment led me to the conclusion I have the right to slay ice cave zombies with my Glock!"
Jim held his tongue from another political conversation, and just said, "Fine, fine, let's just go."
Joe went in first, followed by Jim and Sandy staying closely behind. Joe turned on his flashlight, and saw their first split in the cave.
"Go right." said Jim, and Joe obeyed.
The trio walked down shining their lights at the walls, when they came across a part of the wall covered in ice. The powerful flashlights light everything up well, as they could observe the area of the cave. Sandy felt some of the ice, as Joe went further, before stopping and cursing.
"Someone blocked it!" said Joe, and he stared at a group of metal bars blocking a smaller hole leading further into the cave.
Jim looked over, and said, "Just move it."
Joe replied, "Don't you think it means we shouldn't go in?"
Jim retorted "The map didn't say anything against moving metal bars."
Sandy walked up, and said "Well, I guess it didn't!" and she then kicked the bars down easily enough, though they made a very loud crash and skidding noise as they slide down.
"Jesus Sandy!" said Jim, "I ment carefully move it, not burst my ears!" yelled Jim.
Joe laughed, and walked in. Jim shook his head, so he and Sandy headed in as well.
Over the next half hour, the trio uneventfully went further into the cave. Every so often they would stop to look at an odd formation of ice on the walls, and Jim would gather small samples of ice and rock. Then they came down to a large open part of the cave, with ice all around the ground and walls.
"Woaaaa..." said Joe, and he pulled out his cell phone and took a photo.
Sandy carefully knelt down and felt the smooth ice on the ground, as Jim pulled out his chisel and Joe continued taking photo's.
"This is like, bonkers smooth!" said Sandy.
"Eeeyup!" said Jim, and he knelt down and felt the ice.
Jim then noticed some odd coloration when his flashlight shined on it. It made technicolor shapes, and appeared to be more crystalized under the smooth surface. So he took out his small hammer and chisel, and tapped on it once.
Then, the ice instantly cracked, and shortly the entire floor of ice shattered. They all yelled as they fell downward onto a steep slide of ice.
"WHAT THE HELL JIM?!?!" Yelled Joe as the three slide down at high speeds uncontrollably.
Then, they all stopped on their ropes ends, and hung out there for a litte bit.
"Ugg..." muttered Sandy, "How do we get back up?"
Jim looked back, and pulled a secondary flashlight out of his pocket. Upon looking up, and then down, he said "We should go down, I think there are more openings to the outside around, were likely closer to them."
Joe replied, "How on Earth would you know that?"
Jim responded, "I'm just guessing, but what are the chances we can pull ourselves up these ropes all the way?"
Every one of them were not very fit, so they sat silent.
"Alright, Let''s unhook at three!" said Jim, "One, two, three!"
Sandy, Jim, and Joe unhooked the ropes from their bodies, and slide down the slide a few dozen feet before hitting another flat surface. Jim stood up, and slipped to the ground. So he carefully stood up again and looked around with his Flashlight.
This room was large, and perfectly round. It was all covered in ice, and in the center was a large, car sized crystal. It had many different colorations, and seam to be made of numerous rare materials. Sandy quickly got up and look around with here flashlight, noticing the odd crystal.
"That is beautiful!" said Sandy, staring at the Crystal, of which displayed every color on the rainbow based on were light hit it.
Joe stood up slowly, and said "Holy crap! I wonder how much we could make off of it! Wait, is that, what I think it is?"
Jim walked slowly towards it, waving the flashlight to see the colors the large crystal displayed around the room off of itself. he then pulled out a small magnet, which instantly stuck to the side of the crystal.
He then thought about it, and replied "I think it may be the meteor. But... it's made of something odd."
The three walked up to it, and Sandy noticed a structure within the crystal. Upon closer inspection, it looked like a ball in the crystal, with the mark of three butterflies.
"Take a look at this!" she said, shining the light on the structure, making it glow.
Jim came over, and said, "That's odd..." He then looked further to the side and saw another one, but with one with three apples on it, "Wait, are those, apples?"
Joe stared at the crystal pondering over how much money he would have, when he noticed one on his side. He shined his flashlight on it, and it glowed, showing a mark of a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt on it.
"Woa man, this is freaky." said Joe.
Suddenly, the entire crystal light up in a bright purple, and the three slipped backwards spontaneously. Suddenly, it flashed colors all around, luckily not inducing seizures on any of them. Then, they felt vibrating, as a voice spoke:
"Pinkie! Don't do that!"
"Sorry!"
"What's going on?!"
"The Elements! They're reacting on their own!"
"Elements?" asked Jim out loud,
What the hay?!
Let's get out of here!
IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Suddenly, it felt like a pressure wave hit all of them, as light flashed and Sandy, Joe, and Jim flew back from the crystal. Then, they flew down another ice covered tunnel out of the room.
And then, everything blacked out.
_________________
Jim opened his eyes slowly, and saw the full moon above. Upon quickly remembering what happened, he realized he wasn't in a cave and sat up hastily, noticing something odd about how his hand and feet felt.
"Joe?! Sandy?!" He asked.
"Jim! Your awake!" said the voice he recognized as Sandy.
"Should we tell him yet?"
Jim looked over, and saw a pink maned, yellow pony. It looked realistic enough, other than it's features being off, and he noticed a pair of wings in it's back, which immediately set off a mental alarm. Then there was it talking to him.
"Jim, don't panic." said the pony, as the voice sounded like Sandy, "But we've, um, made some change to our anatomy's..."
Jim replied, "What?! Wait... oh okay. Wait, no. What?!"
Suddenly, a blue pony, with a rainbow mane of which he never knew a pony could have, came over. He also noticed it too had wings, and a picture of a rainbow lightning bolt on it's flank.
"Jim, buddy..." it said, sounding like Joe
Jim began mistakingly making a office reference, as he looked down at his body and said "No! No, god! No god please no! No! NO NO NO! NO!"
The, Sandy sighed, "Well, at least your orange."
Jim stared, and saw a body of a Orange pony. he then shrieked, and yelled "WERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"
Joe quickly replied, "It's alright, they are right over here. But they were wet, and since our genitals are pretty much gone, I figured it'd be alright to let them out to dry. Although I am not certain we should return to society like thi-"
Joe was suddenly cut off by Jim yelled "WHY ARE WE NAKED?!"
Sandy replied, "Wait, isn't your uncle a nudist anyways?"
Jim yelled louder, "THAT DOESN'T MAKE THIS OKAY!!!"
Joe replied, "Chill, chill..."
Jim replied, "WHY DO I HAVE A TATTOO OF APPLES ON MY BUTTOX?!?! WHY DO I HAVE A TAIL?!?! He then shot into a mental recollection of events for a second. He remember from a friend of his, a self proclaimed 'brony', whom showed him some photos. He put too and too together, and remember what that orange My Little Pony looked like.
"Guys" started Jim breathing heavily with wide eyes, "Were freaking My Little Ponies."
"Ohhh, oh, oh, ohhh... okay..." Said Joe, realizing that they were real life My Little Ponies.
Jim stood up, and began trotting away aimlessly with little balance, and Joe said "Jim, don't leave, Jim don't leave... JIIIIM! I LOVE YOU"
Jim turned around, "NO! I'm F***ing done! I'm F***ING DONE!"
Sandy just watched, as Joe replied "No your not!"
Jim retorted "THIS IS BULLS***! THIS IS F***ING BULLS***!!!"
Joe began trotting toward Jim, but fell, and got tangled in some plants, "I can't get off!"
Jim then almost lost it "WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!"
"I CAN'T GET OFF!" said Joe, as Sandy began chuckling.
"WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!" yelled Jim again.
Joe looked at his stuck hoof, and said "I'm stuck!"
Jim Responded with "WHAT IS MY LIFE?!?!?! ..... I can't do it Joe!"
Joe replied "I can't either!" tuggin on his stuck hoof.
Jim slammed his hoof on the ground, "I can't F***ing do it!!!"
Joe slammed his free hoof on the ground, "Well I'll tell you what Jim! You can give up now! Or you can figure this out! Because I can't do it without you! And I certainly know you can't do it without me!"
Jim breathed heavily, and replied "Thanks! I appreciate it! BUT LOOK WHAT WERE DEALING WITH MAN!"
"JIM!" yelled Joe.
Jim continued, "You gotta draw the line somewhere!"
"Jim we have-" started Joe being cut off.
"YOU GOTTA DRAW THE F**ING LINE IN THE SAND! AND MAKE A STATEMENT!" Yelled Jim, "You gotta look inside yourself and say, 'What am I willing to put up with today?' NOT F***ING THIS!"
Suddenly, Joe spread his knew found wings, and flapped, getting free and flying into the air at surprisingly high speed, "I'M OFF! I'M SUPERMAN! I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!"
Then, Joe hit a tree, and fell down. Leaving Sandy to a laughing fit, and Jim breathed in heavily.
As Joe fell down, Sandy held some more laughing, and said "That was a beautiful moment you two just had there."
