A Mod Gone Wrong.by Some Guy Who WritesChapters1. 404 world not found2. The morning after3. Porkchops on parade4. Get a pig in that cart5. A stallion and his (gardening) hoe1. 404 world not found Sketch woke up one saturday morning in his room, he heard the familiar beeps of incoming messages from his skype. He reluctantly rolled out of bed, hopped in his computer chair, spun around, and opened his skype. Apparently one of his buddies had been flooding his skype with messages over the past five minutes. (The following are the skype messages between the two friends) [7:33:39 AM] Sketch: Hey Shawn, why have you been spamming skype all day again you persistent noob? [7:33:56 AM] ϟнαωη820: Ten messages isn't spamming at least not that bad of spamming... [7:34:14 AM] Sketch: Yes it is and you know it, so what did you want? [7:34:43 AM] ϟнαωη820: I got a request from some mod author or someone, they want me to beta test their mod and apparently its multiplayer [7:34:50 AM] ϟнαωη820: I need to test it in multiplayer as well [7:35:09 AM] Sketch: Is it for a game we both have or am I going to have to download something else? [7:35:26 AM] ϟнαωη820: Its Minecraft, so no need to download that again [7:35:49 AM] Sketch: of course it is.... what's it called that. So I can download this thing [7:36:26 AM] ϟнαωη820: It was sent to me in a private message, i’ll have to send it to you it from its link [7:37:24 AM] Sketch: fine, email it to me, and I swear if this is a prank for sending you that Nicholas Cage virus I SWEAR I didn't think it would give you nightmares [7:37:51 AM] ϟнαωη820: Oh, ha ha sketch, I can take a prank but that was freaky. [7:38:02 AM] ϟнαωη820: I’lll send it to you in a second [7:38:41 AM] Sketch: fine, but you know you loved those pictures of Nicolas Cage [7:39:09 AM] ϟнαωη820: Yeah well after closing the 600th window it lags [7:39:55 AM] Sketch: you really went that far? I made it so everytime you close it two more open, why didn't you just ctrl+alt+delete it? That's all you would've had to do [7:40:36 AM] ϟнαωη820: You screwed up a bit, when I did that it just shut it down and opened it again [7:41:37 AM] Sketch: ah... I think I made it to invasive...moving on, I got the email As Sketch opened the zip file with 7zip, installed it while he made some toast while he waited, after ten minutes it was complete and he sat down, crumbs covering his shirt as he started up minecraft. [7:54:23 AM] Sketch: Hey, got a new Slendy skin, tie and all, you still got that OC skin? [7:54:44 AM] ϟнαωη820: Rick? Yeah, I still have this skin [7:54:47 AM] ϟнαωη820: Never change it [7:55:14 AM] Sketch: dude, go for variety, last week I had the Daft punk skins [7:55:34 AM] Sketch: anyways, I started up Minecraft, what do? [7:55:40 AM] ϟнαωη820: I made the character and the skin, I’m going to stick with it [7:55:44 AM] ϟнαωη820: Alright, let me get the server up [7:55:54 AM] ϟнαωη820: You should still have the IP in your server list [7:56:09 AM] Sketch: Can't computer wiped last week, remember? [7:56:42 AM] ϟнαωη820: 84.25.168.220:25565 [7:56:48 AM] Sketch: ah The two companions loaded up the server, and loading screen glitched to black for a split second, confusing Sketch. [8:00:19 AM] Sketch: Dude what the- it just went black, you sure this is legit? [8:00:31 AM] ϟнαωη820: Its just loading the world for you, this is a new map [8:00:34 AM] ϟнαωη820: I’m already in [8:00:38 AM] Sketch: fine [8:00:40 AM] Sketch: ... They began to roam the world, oddly shaped buildings and villages were scattered around, villagers were nowhere to be seen though. (The following is in game chat) Sketch: Are there no villagers or mobs in this mod? I have not seen anything, not even one spider. Shawns820: Well, its just a beta, so it might just be items or a new dimension. Sketch: Like that pocket dimension mode? Shawns820: Oh the server swap mod? Nah, like a new world, just gotta find the blocks. Sketch: A whole new world Sketch: A new fantastic point of view... Shawns820: Sketch... Shawns820: No. Sketch: Fine, no magic carpet ride for you. After hours of exploration they find some obsidian and decide to make a portal to the Nether, however when they finish constructing the massive fixture something is wrong. Sketch: Dude... It’s freakin’ pink! Shawns820: No, it’s lightish red. Sketch: Yeah, they already have a color for that. Sketch: You know what it’s called? PINK! Shawns820: Fine fine, lets just go, next on the list is the End. And so they both ran through the portal, but as soon as they did Sketch’s screen turned bright white and his computer shut off.. “What the heck Shawn!” Was all he had time to say before he blacked out, unbeknownst to him the same exact thing happened to his friend on the other end. Sketch’s eyes began to flutter open as he began to wake up in the middle of a grassy area, his vision come to and he sits upright in shock at his new surroundings. “Why am I in a garden? Shawn, if you drugged me a- Wait, why the heck am I wearing a morphsuit mask?!” Sketch screamed as he looked down, he saw he was wearing a pinstripe suit, a red tie, white undershirt and had ivory white gloves with point tips. “Why am I cosplaying as Slenderman?!” As Sketch began to freak out there was a rustling sound coming from the bush to the left, his head immediately turned towards the noise. He cautiously stood up and crept his way over to the bush, fearful for what might be inside. Standing in front of the bush now he jabbed his left hand in there, nothing at first, then a large red bird cawed and flew out of it. Sketch stared at bird in confusion. How is that bird bright r- is that bird on fire?! At the same time he was thinking that the bird just squawked and and flew out of the area. “I don’t like the looks of this... “ While Sketch pondered how he got there or why he notice he had something in his pocket, he pulled out a small black pearl. “Wait... either I’m in a movie or this is an ender pearl...” Sketch threw it on the ground five feet away and immediately teleported there, pearl back in his hand. “Wow... I don’t know where I am, but I think I’m going to enjoy this...” Sketch chucked it out of the garden, going far out of sight “Let’s see where this ends up.” Sketch smiled mischievously as he disappeared. Shawn slowly creeped back into the waking world, a good portion of pain flooded his system causing him to groan in pain. Slowly he placed his hand on the ground trying to push himself up only to fall to the ground again. “Surround the intruder!” As Shawn opened his eyes all he could see around him were yellow blurs. He was still on the ground, head sideways. “Stand down captain, it looks to be in pain.” A kind voice said. “But it’s armed!” A deeper voice shouted. “No, the sword is sheathed and the creature is laying on the floor, stand down.” “Bu-” “Stand down Cpt. Iron Hoof.” The kind voice said in a stern tone. “Yes your majesty.” He said, Shawn could he loud clops after that. “Iron hoof...” Shawn chuckled weakly. “I’ll be honest... Never heard a name like that before.” “And we’ve never seen a creature like you before, what’s your name?” The kind voice asked. He began to think, for some reason two names came to mind. Shawn and Rick. “I believe it is Rick, you will have to forgive me, my mind is a bit fuzzy.” “Okay Rick, why are you here and how did you teleport into the middle of Canterlot?” He began to think. “Something about a portal, I was following or chasing someone or something.” “What were you chasing? Is it dangerous?” “I believe it can be, I can remember explosives, traps, and fire around it, but I think it ca-” “Princess! A monster has appeared in the market!” Another male chime in. “Bring in a small platoon and comb the city for it, what did it look like?” “It looked like a Diamond dog, stood on two legs, wore a suit, and had no face!” Shawn’s eyes opened wide. “That’s it! That sounds like the thing I was chasing.” The room falls silent for a moment. “Send in all the guards, this creature is very dangerous, get all the civilians inside!” The kind voice bellows. A series of ‘Yes princess!’ echoed throughout the room as they all made their way out of the room, their footsteps fading away. Shawn began to push himself off the floor, struggling slightly, then suddenly began to float off of the floor. “No need to struggle, we will take care of your injuries while we capture the creature.” She said. “You have my name but, I do not remember hearing yours.” “My name is Celestia, Princess of Equestria.” The pearl landed in the middle of a small market place, and apparently it was not the most subtle of entrances as all eyes were on him the second he appeared. Beneath the mask a mischievous grin formed on Sketch’s face. In silence they all stared at him, frozen in terror, but he stood there for another reason, he was surrounded by pastel colored ponies. This is a new dream, Slenderman with ponies, eh, it works One of the ponies with wings approached him from the side. “Stop right there! What are you?” Sketch’s head slowly turned to face the guard, with the Ender pearl still in his right hand he balled it up into a fist, worked the pearly to his thumb and used his thumb to flick it, landing right in front of the guard. He appeared in front of the guard, motionless, not saying a word, the guard getting all the more frightened. “Stay back!” The guard took a few steps back, Sketch flicked the pearl with his thumb again and this time appeared behind the guard. The guard was mildly startled and unsheathed his sword, however as soon as he did Sketch grabbed hold of it in his left hand, flicked the pearl and teleported with it, leaving the guard unarmed. Having no need for it, he laid the short sword on the ground to his side, he looked up and noticed a fruit stall across the market, he flicked the pearl and teleported over to the stand. Staring down at the frightened stall owner she is trembling where she stands, Sketch reaches out slowly. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” The pony screams. However, he isn’t reaching for her, but for one of her apples, he takes it in his grasp, and polishes it off on his suit. What happened next truly terrified them, as he pulled up enough of the morphsuit mask to reveal his mouth as he took a bite out of the apple. “If they have no idea what I am, I wonder how badly something peeling off part of it’s face to eat will scar them?” Sketch thought. After eating the apple down to the core he pulled down the mask again and threw the pearl over the buildings behind it. He immediately turned around and bowed in an over dramatic fashion before disappearing in a puff of purple smoke. Shawn laid in what appeared to be a infirmary, his eyes finally adjusted to the point where he could make out shapes. He saw his armor and sword laying on the table across the room. “Finally awake? Celestia said you were some monster hunter.” A female voice said from the doorway. Shawn turned to look at her, and what he saw almost made his brain implode. “What in the world? Are you a pony, that can talk?” Shawn scratched the back of his head. “Can’t say i’ve seen that before.” “Of course I’m a pony, what else would I be?” She looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow “Well, pardon me, I come from a place where ponies can’t talk.” “Well we can and do here, why were you wearing all that armor anyways?” Shawn scratched his chin in thought. “As I said before, my mind is a bit fuzzy, I believe I was chasing something and we had come across a portal of sorts. I guess that I had the armor to protect myself from it.” “Is that monster really that dangerous? It’s been teleporting around the city eating apples, I heard the guards said it’s dangerous, but all it does is stare at them. What’s does it want?” “I’m not sure, all I know is that it follows it’s targets. After a long time of its miss matched teleporting it finally does... Something.” “Something?” The pony seemed a little frightened at his vague answer. He sighed. “I am sorry I can not give you a better answer, I can only remember so much and even then I feel as though something is wrong.” With that the pony left and Shawn fell back asleep while Sketch wrecked havoc on the citizens of Canterlot, those poor ponies... 2. The morning after Rick (Shawn) awoke the next day after a night of restful sleep. He turned over and looked out the window to his right, he marveled at the world he had ended up in. The picturesque landscape of the valley below the castle, the clear blue sky above with a large white mass of cloud in the distance. Out of habit, he turned to his left, pulling the covers off and started to stand. Before he could throw his legs over the side of his bed he seized up. Using his elbows to slowly prop himself up he attempted once more to try and get out of the bed. He slowly tried to move once more, taking a careful step onto the floor below. After rolling his shoulders he placed his forearm on the nightstand to the side of his bed. Wincing in pain he pushed himself upright. He looked around, trying to find a clock or something to tell the time. Eventually his eyes rested upon a round metal alarm clock on the side table. The time was eight thirty-six AM. He began his trek to the other side of the room towards his gear. Upon reaching his gear he took list of what was there. The worn iron chestplate was leaning against the wall, it was simplistic in design, a medieval style iron chestplate that curved around the torso with round curved plates on the shoulders. The arm guards lay next to it, leathers straps folded neatly beneath them, the plate legs rested on there as well, laid out along the table. Under the table lay the scratched, dented, and dirty boots. Apparently the armor set had been cleaned recently aside from the boots for some reason. He noticed something was off, he was missing something. His armor laid on a table as did his sword in its sheath, but he felt like he was missing a part of his equipment. He looked down at his clothing, he wore a blue overshirt with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, fingerless brown gloves, dark blue pants and brown belt buckle boots. Checking his pockets he found that he had nothing in them. He looked at his chestplate once more and shook his head. ‘With the way I am, I don’t think I can support the weight.’ He turned towards the door on his left, in the doorway stood a taller pony than the one yesterday, the jawline made it look male. “Finally able to move around I see. You had us worried for a second, when you fell you hit your head pretty hard.” “How far did I fall exactly?” Rick asked. “About nineteen feet, you appeared in the middle of the throne room when you appeared, and I mean middle, almost the exact center, and fell onto the marble floor.” He said, nonchalantly flipping through a few papers on a clipboard that floated next to him. Rick looked back to his armor once more. “I would like to say thanks as well, not only for the help but for cleaning up my armor.” “Not a problem, after all, you are a patient and guest here.” He said curtly before walking away. He began to think. Wait, a guest of where? In a lush park in central Canterlot, Sketch laid on a bench, the sun rudely woke him up, that, and the horribly uncomfortable position he had slept in. With a groan he sat up, stretched and popped his back loudly. That’s much better. He stood up and looked down at the bench, in the dark of the night he hadn’t noticed how filthy it was, dirt and dust covered it with some bird droppings on the back of it. He quickly began to brush himself off, but realized something, his suit was perfectly clean, none of the dirt or grime had stuck to his suit. I’m not even going to ask. He began rolling his shoulders, loosening himself up after a bad sleep, getting ready for the days events, he sat down on the bench again and began to think of what he could do today. Little did he know a small pink colored egg rolled out of his left pocket and onto the bench where it fell between the boards and landed on the ground with a distinct pop. What was th- Suddenly underneath the bench a full grown pig spawned, holding the bench on it’s back, not even noticing it was there. Sketch’s eyes went wide, he knew he had an Ender pearl in his right pocket, but what was in his left? He dug into his pocket and felt many small little marble, he took one from his pocket and held it up to his eye, it was a small pink egg with darker pink speckles. Oh, I know what I’m doing today... With the pig beneath him carrying him and the bench he sat on without a care in the world he took a large handful of the pink pig eggs from his pocket and tossed them all in random directions. Let them eat bacon... With nothing left to do in his room, Rick left his room in full armor and wandered the hall, the halls were magnificent, large marble columns with large doors on either side of the hall, each standing several meters high. He kept walking, noticing the occasional table with a vase of flowers on it, he looked down and realized the entire length of the hallway had a never-ending red carpet. He peered down the hallway, trying to find an end to it, but it just seemed to go on forever, the corridors heading left and right but the hallway did not seem to end. Eventually he had decided to head down one of the hallways at random, hoping to find someone in the massive building. After another twenty minutes he found himself in a massive dining room, the entire right side of it was covered with enormous stained glass windows, the light came through them, coloring the room with a bright spectrum of colors. As he stared at it in its beauty he failed to notice someone sneaking up behind him. “What are you doing in here, shouldn’t you be in the kitchen with the help?” A snooty voice called out behind him in an annoying tone. “And pray tell, what exactly are you? Some sort of pet monkey? No, you have a sword, the guards must be getting desperate.” Rick turned around to face an alabaster white pony with a long horn on his head, he had a dull blonde mane that went down his neck, he had a vest and bow tie on, because you know, bow ties are awesome. Unfortunately, this pony was not awesome, he was downright arrogant. Rick raised a brow. “And who exactly are you?” “I am Prince BlueBlood, and who are you, and why are you in my castle?” “I am Rick Fuoco, and how is this your castle anyhow? I have yet to meet with the queen or king of this kingdom. So far I have met Princess Celestia, who I believe might be your sister, and you, Prince.” “Oh... So you’re one of aunty’s projects? Shouldn’t you be in your cage?” “I do not have time to deal with a stuck up Prince who seems to get less respect than that of a homeless fool.” Rick said as he crossed his arms and looked around the room once more he noticed some ponies in butler and maid outfits setting plates at the far end of the table. “Excuse me!” He said while walking towards one of the servants, startling the one in the maid as she eeped. “Y-Yes?” “Would it be possible for me to get some food, I am a bit malnourished.” “We h-have some fruit.” She pointed a hoof towards a bowl in the middle of the table, there were various types of fruit: durians, dates, apples, oranges, pears, bananas, pomegranates, and many other varieties. “Could I just take two apples and be on my way?” She nodded, still looking up at him. “Thank you, I will be on my way I guess.” Rick said after grabbing the apples, then began to walk away. Rick stops immediately, as if feeling something were to go horribly wrong... Horribly, horribly wrong. And just then a pig flies through the window, shattering the intricate stained glass mural, sending glass everywhere. The pig smacks the wall and flashes red, it hits the ground twenty feet below, flashes red again and disappears in a poof of smoke, leaving only two pork chops in its place. Rick ran to the window, he looked out what remained of the bottom half of the window and saw... “Oh please no...” 3. Porkchops on paradeAfter despawning the pig beneath his bench, and spawning one with a carrot on a stick attached Sketch spent over four hours spawning nothing but pigs in the park, and in the process a few piglets were born. A few had gotten over the fence and escaped into the city, oh well, they are just starting early. Now this, this is an army! Sketch thought to himself, standing atop the pig with a carrot on a stick attached to it. Now for the fun to begin... Sketch hopped on the tops of the pigs like they were stepping stones as he made his way to the back of the park, behind the mob of pigs. He slapped a pig on its butt, startling it, and in turn set the rest off as they fled towards the city at a very rushed pace. He ran over the pigs and hoped back to his pig, dangling the carrot in front of its face. Yes my piggies, flood the city. Back in the dining hall everyone had gathered to see what commotion was, even Princess Celestia came running when she heard the shattered glass hitting the floor. “How in Equestria did a pig fly through the window, hit the wall, and disappear?!” One of the guards shouted, poking the pork chops on the ground with his shortsword. “Rick, is it him?” Celestia asked. “I can’t tell, but this does seem like he is toying with us, take a look.” Rick said while gesturing the window he was looking out of. “Sister! The garden has been overtaken by square pigs!” A large deep blue winged unicorn ran in, her mane like the night sky with several stars twinkling. “Where are they coming from?” Celestia asked no one in particular. “Look, over there!” He pointed out the window, over the hill outside of the town a large pink mass began to pour into the city like an endless waterfall. Celestia’s jaw drops. “How are there that many pigs? How does that thing do that?” “He has an infinite supply of the creatures from where we are from, but I can’t remember how h-Duck!” They all heeded his warning and ducked, and another pig was sent flying through the window, this time smacking Rick in the face, sending him flying back into the wall . The pig once again blinks red and disappears, leave one raw porkchop on his chest plate. Rick slowly pushed himself onto his feet. “Yeah... He’s messing with us.” He said, standing up as the pork chop slide down his chest plate before it plopped on the floor. “How do we stop this invasion?” “I would say kill them off, but even I know there is too much... Perhaps we can lead them away from the city.” “Rally the guards, stop them from getting in the palace.” Celestia orders calmly, the closest guard saluted her and galloped out. “Sister, why are these pigs square and what is that?” The blue winged unicorn asked. “He is a hero that was transported here while he was chasing down a creature, the same creature leading the...” Celestia put her left fore hoof to her face and audibly sighed. “Leading the army of pigs.” “And to answer the square part, that is what most things are like where I am from...” “No time for cultural sharing, we have to get rid of these pigs, they are flooding the streets!” Celestia motioned the blue one and Rick over to the window, they looked down unto the streets, pigs filled the streets, ponies dragged apart in a literal sea of pigs, foals being separated from their parents as they sink into the stampede of swine. To their right they heard the sound of wood snapping as they reached the market. “Luna, assemble the night guard, we need all the help we can ge-...” Celestia stops mid sentence as in the middle of the parade of pork there sat the creature (Sketch) atop one of the pigs on a saddle dangling a carrot in front of it’s face. “But... Why pigs?” Luna asked, Celestia just stared. “They seem to be controlled slightly, he is using the carrot to lead them a bit.” Just as Rick said this the creature took notice of the figures in the castle and just stared in their general direction until they lost sight of each other as he rounds the corner of a building. “Oh no...” Celestia looked mildly worried as she said this. “What seems to be the problem?” “They’re headed for the front entrance.” “Then I guess I am headed there as well.” Rick said while grabbing the handle of his sword, he unsheathed it and stormed out of the room heading down the hall, hoofsteps could be heard behind him as someone chased after him. “Stop, you’re going the wrong way, that leads to the gardens, the pigs already have that.” The stallion said, standing behind him, Rick promptly turned about face and followed the stallion to the front gates. “From the road they are taking it will take them twenty minutes to reach the castle, load the catapults, man the castle walls, put up barricades! Whatever you do don’t let that monster in!” A charcoal black stallion in golden armor turned to face him. “Where will you be assisting the troops hero?” “Perhaps the barricades, but I have a question, what is with the hero title?” “You said you were chasing that monster through a portal to defeat it right? Don’t heroes defeat monsters?” “Though heroes defeat monsters, heroes earn that title from what they accomplish. I don’t remember much before this but I don’t think I deserve that title.” “Okay then... help the men build sandbag barricades from the front gate to the front door, the more the better.” The stallion pointed Rick towards a large pile of sandbags, various other guards were already constructing them, regular ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, each wearing set of golden armor and carry a short sword on their side in a metal sheath. “I’ll help the front door, if they reach it, if enough is there it could hinder the mass.” For the next fifteen minutes Rick helped pile sandbags in a meter high wall at the bottom of the stairs as a last barricade to prevent the army of pigs entry into the castle. However as soon as the wall reached two thirds of a meter high a guard shouted. “Enemy sighted!” “How many?” Rick called out. “One! I-It has no face!” “What about the pigs?” “They are...just standing there, behind him... W-Wait, they’re all gone!” “What’s he planning?” “I don’t kn-Ah!” Suddenly a pig smacks one of the guards in the face, knocking him off the wall and into a bush at the base, the pig flashes red and disappears in a poof of smoke, this time leaving nothing in its place. “How is he strong enough to throw pigs?!” “We don’t know!? You chased him here!” The guard turned back to where the creature was, but it was gone... “I-It’s gone...” All the other guards who had been watching it were just as baffled as all that remained of it was a small puff of smoke. “It’s gone?” “Keep your eyes peeled! It has to be somewhere! Don’t let your guard down!” The guards began frantically looking for the monster with no success. “Where could he have gone?” Rick pondered as he readied his sword, unbeknownst to him the creature was close by, very close by... 4. Get a pig in that cartRick knew the creature was lurking somewhere nearby, he got out his diamond sword and looked around, when a shadow on the ground began moving towards him. “Since when could he turn invis-” He finally saw what was making the shadow, “Son of a-” A large minecart fell, leaving a small crater where Rick once stood, all the guards stood silent in confusion. “Did he just...” One of them stepped closer, inspecting the minecart, and sure enough Rick was nowhere to be seen, all that remained of the hero was his diamond sword, which laid on the ground next to the impact zone. The creature appeared suddenly in the middle of the confusion, threw a pig in the cart and disappeared before anyone could even react. “W- Why?” One of the other guards pondered as he stared at the utterly confused swine that was now stuck in the cart, somehow spinning slowly in place. 5. A stallion and his (gardening) hoeMeanwhile in the garden an obsidian ring formed and glowed bright pink as a somewhat boxy pony flew out and landed on the swarm of pigs that infested it earlier. The pony was the same size and build as the local stallions, except for one thing, he was a 32-bit pony model. (seen here). He was beige earth pony with a dirty-blonde mane and had two compact discs on his flank as his cutie mark. He also was wearing a pleather vest and carrying a diamond hoe for... reasons. “Holy crap, what happened? Where am I, and why is the ground made of pigs?” He said, riding the flood of swine out of the garden. As they ran about he watched as they carried him into a large white castle as he clutched to his hoe for dear life. “Okay, this went from weird to strange. I take it this isn’t the Nether...” The pigs only squealed and oinked in response as they ran rampant throughout the castle with him along for the ride. “Man I wish I brought a carrot, these things are driving me nuts. And everywhere else, too.” In the front courtyard the guards were frightened, the hero who was going to help them slay this otherworldly monster had just been pulverised into vapor by a rogue cart. And on top of that, and Rick, a pig was placed in the minecart, taunting them. “What do we do now captain!? The hero is gone, pigs are overrunning Canterlot and the creature is still on the loose!” The nearest guard shouted at the captain. “I- I don’t know, Rick was the only one who knew what that thing is, without him we a- duck!” He shouted as another pig flew at them, they all jumped back as the pig impacted the ground, exploded immediately on impact, and launched a raw porkchop at the captain. “This is wrong in so many ways, Celestia help us.” He said as he peeled the pork chop off his face and threw it to the side. “Well, we could always-” The guard was interrupted as the front door burst open, a sea of pigs ran out, with the blocky stallion in tow. “Great, more pigs... Wait, who are you?!” The captain shouted, pointing at the new arrival. “In deep crap, distract them or something!” “Why, you’re riding them?! And what are you even talking about!?” “I’m not riding them, I’m on top of them. Besides, I can’t make them-” Before he could finish his sentence the pig swarm began to thin out, this opened a hole in the pork on parade, which then caused him to fall flat on his face, literally. “Huh, well, you’re down now. So, back to my previous questions, what are you!?” The captain asked, looking him up and down as he got up off his face.. “Uh, a pony, I don’t know where I am though.” “But you’re so, blocky! How do you even exist? Did the monster make you too?!” The captain yelled, the surrounding guards drew their swords and approached the stallion in question. “I have no clue what monster you’re referring to, but I’m sure that whatev-” “Duck!” All the guards in the surrounding area dropped their swords and covered their heads. The cuboidal pony however could only lean down a bit, most of his body remained upright, which didn’t help him any when a pig was launched at his side, knocking him to the ground. After the pig despawned all the guards and their Captain got up, they all looked down as the blocky pony was stuck on his side, unable to get up. “A little help, please?” The pony whined as his legs flailed around, yet never seemed to be able to move side to side, only forwards and backwards. “You really can’t get up?” One of the guards stepped forward, he laughed a bit as he watched the grounded stallion flail about. “No, now help me out! Laugh all you want once I’m standing, okay?” “Alright, alright, stop yer whining, what’s yer name?” The guard to his right asked, he used his sword, wedged it under the colt and propped him upright. “Uh, just call me CD... but where am I? This looks pretty familiar, but a bit too... round.” “You’re in Canterlot, and in the middle of an invasion.” “Invasion? Canterlot? Neither of those things fit, everything’s too... bulky. And why are the pigs giving you trouble?” “Some faceless monster in a suit was chased here by a hero with a diamond sword, the monster summoned an army of pigs, invaded the city, and just recently got rid of the hero. Oh, and now he is throwing pigs at us that are as heavy as boulders, need anything else? Perhaps a cup of warm milk and a cookie?” “No need to be facetious. And pigs aren’t a problem if you have a carrot. Hold one in front of them and they’ll follow you anywhere, just lead them somewhere they won’t be a nuisance.” “How do you know that’d work?” “Uh, they’re pigs, don’t you know that pigs would jump off a cliff for a carrot? Duh.” “No, no I didn’t, nor did this riveting conversation convince me otherwise.” “Well, fine, I’m going to find some cov-” CD was interrupted as a group of pigs smacked into the balconies overhead, causing pork chops to rain down upon them. “Crap, I’m getting inside. I’m gonna smell like uncooked bacon for a week.” None of the guards commented on that and followed him inside to avoid the downpourk, unfortunately for them the inside of the castle was not much better. As they entered the castle all they saw were mobs of maids and butlers trying to corral the rampaging pigs to little effect as they destroyed the palace. “Jeez, did your farm run out of room? Wait, you said some faceless monster made them. Okay, just hit the pigs until they fall over.” “You want us to beat farm animals to death?” A random guard asked. “Well, only if you want to. Although th-” “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!” One of the larger guards screamed as he charged a pig, he brought his sword down onto the pig with all his strength, yet the pig remained unfazed, it just looked at him with those empty eyes. “Huh, what’s your sword made of?” “Steel, we have only the best weapons.” He said as they all watched the same guard try to beat the pig to a pulp to no avail as his weapon repeatedly bounced off of it. “The best, huh? Well, you must not be very good at making swords then, you can just hit the dumb things. Watch.” CD motioned the now tired guard to step aside, with the pig cornered it only took CD thirteen punches before the pig fell to its side and poofed, leaving yet another raw pork chop on the floor. “See? Really, what kind of weaponsmiths do you have?” “Who are you to criticise us when you carry around a gem encrusted gardening tool!” “The guy who can kill a pig with his hooves faster than you can with a sword. I mean really? Anyway, just get some carrots and get these things out of here, it’s starting to stink.” “If you’re so great why don’t you go do your carrot plan while we do something useful.” “Because I don’t know where you store your produce. I’ve got no clue where I am.” The guards ignored him and went back to gathering up the remaining pigs. “Okay, fine, I’ll go raid your pantry, once I find it. And try weapons that work.”
1. 404 world not found Sketch woke up one saturday morning in his room, he heard the familiar beeps of incoming messages from his skype. He reluctantly rolled out of bed, hopped in his computer chair, spun around, and opened his skype. Apparently one of his buddies had been flooding his skype with messages over the past five minutes. (The following are the skype messages between the two friends) [7:33:39 AM] Sketch: Hey Shawn, why have you been spamming skype all day again you persistent noob? [7:33:56 AM] ϟнαωη820: Ten messages isn't spamming at least not that bad of spamming... [7:34:14 AM] Sketch: Yes it is and you know it, so what did you want? [7:34:43 AM] ϟнαωη820: I got a request from some mod author or someone, they want me to beta test their mod and apparently its multiplayer [7:34:50 AM] ϟнαωη820: I need to test it in multiplayer as well [7:35:09 AM] Sketch: Is it for a game we both have or am I going to have to download something else? [7:35:26 AM] ϟнαωη820: Its Minecraft, so no need to download that again [7:35:49 AM] Sketch: of course it is.... what's it called that. So I can download this thing [7:36:26 AM] ϟнαωη820: It was sent to me in a private message, i’ll have to send it to you it from its link [7:37:24 AM] Sketch: fine, email it to me, and I swear if this is a prank for sending you that Nicholas Cage virus I SWEAR I didn't think it would give you nightmares [7:37:51 AM] ϟнαωη820: Oh, ha ha sketch, I can take a prank but that was freaky. [7:38:02 AM] ϟнαωη820: I’lll send it to you in a second [7:38:41 AM] Sketch: fine, but you know you loved those pictures of Nicolas Cage [7:39:09 AM] ϟнαωη820: Yeah well after closing the 600th window it lags [7:39:55 AM] Sketch: you really went that far? I made it so everytime you close it two more open, why didn't you just ctrl+alt+delete it? That's all you would've had to do [7:40:36 AM] ϟнαωη820: You screwed up a bit, when I did that it just shut it down and opened it again [7:41:37 AM] Sketch: ah... I think I made it to invasive...moving on, I got the email As Sketch opened the zip file with 7zip, installed it while he made some toast while he waited, after ten minutes it was complete and he sat down, crumbs covering his shirt as he started up minecraft. [7:54:23 AM] Sketch: Hey, got a new Slendy skin, tie and all, you still got that OC skin? [7:54:44 AM] ϟнαωη820: Rick? Yeah, I still have this skin [7:54:47 AM] ϟнαωη820: Never change it [7:55:14 AM] Sketch: dude, go for variety, last week I had the Daft punk skins [7:55:34 AM] Sketch: anyways, I started up Minecraft, what do? [7:55:40 AM] ϟнαωη820: I made the character and the skin, I’m going to stick with it [7:55:44 AM] ϟнαωη820: Alright, let me get the server up [7:55:54 AM] ϟнαωη820: You should still have the IP in your server list [7:56:09 AM] Sketch: Can't computer wiped last week, remember? [7:56:42 AM] ϟнαωη820: 84.25.168.220:25565 [7:56:48 AM] Sketch: ah The two companions loaded up the server, and loading screen glitched to black for a split second, confusing Sketch. [8:00:19 AM] Sketch: Dude what the- it just went black, you sure this is legit? [8:00:31 AM] ϟнαωη820: Its just loading the world for you, this is a new map [8:00:34 AM] ϟнαωη820: I’m already in [8:00:38 AM] Sketch: fine [8:00:40 AM] Sketch: ... They began to roam the world, oddly shaped buildings and villages were scattered around, villagers were nowhere to be seen though. (The following is in game chat) Sketch: Are there no villagers or mobs in this mod? I have not seen anything, not even one spider. Shawns820: Well, its just a beta, so it might just be items or a new dimension. Sketch: Like that pocket dimension mode? Shawns820: Oh the server swap mod? Nah, like a new world, just gotta find the blocks. Sketch: A whole new world Sketch: A new fantastic point of view... Shawns820: Sketch... Shawns820: No. Sketch: Fine, no magic carpet ride for you. After hours of exploration they find some obsidian and decide to make a portal to the Nether, however when they finish constructing the massive fixture something is wrong. Sketch: Dude... It’s freakin’ pink! Shawns820: No, it’s lightish red. Sketch: Yeah, they already have a color for that. Sketch: You know what it’s called? PINK! Shawns820: Fine fine, lets just go, next on the list is the End. And so they both ran through the portal, but as soon as they did Sketch’s screen turned bright white and his computer shut off.. “What the heck Shawn!” Was all he had time to say before he blacked out, unbeknownst to him the same exact thing happened to his friend on the other end. Sketch’s eyes began to flutter open as he began to wake up in the middle of a grassy area, his vision come to and he sits upright in shock at his new surroundings. “Why am I in a garden? Shawn, if you drugged me a- Wait, why the heck am I wearing a morphsuit mask?!” Sketch screamed as he looked down, he saw he was wearing a pinstripe suit, a red tie, white undershirt and had ivory white gloves with point tips. “Why am I cosplaying as Slenderman?!” As Sketch began to freak out there was a rustling sound coming from the bush to the left, his head immediately turned towards the noise. He cautiously stood up and crept his way over to the bush, fearful for what might be inside. Standing in front of the bush now he jabbed his left hand in there, nothing at first, then a large red bird cawed and flew out of it. Sketch stared at bird in confusion. How is that bird bright r- is that bird on fire?! At the same time he was thinking that the bird just squawked and and flew out of the area. “I don’t like the looks of this... “ While Sketch pondered how he got there or why he notice he had something in his pocket, he pulled out a small black pearl. “Wait... either I’m in a movie or this is an ender pearl...” Sketch threw it on the ground five feet away and immediately teleported there, pearl back in his hand. “Wow... I don’t know where I am, but I think I’m going to enjoy this...” Sketch chucked it out of the garden, going far out of sight “Let’s see where this ends up.” Sketch smiled mischievously as he disappeared. Shawn slowly creeped back into the waking world, a good portion of pain flooded his system causing him to groan in pain. Slowly he placed his hand on the ground trying to push himself up only to fall to the ground again. “Surround the intruder!” As Shawn opened his eyes all he could see around him were yellow blurs. He was still on the ground, head sideways. “Stand down captain, it looks to be in pain.” A kind voice said. “But it’s armed!” A deeper voice shouted. “No, the sword is sheathed and the creature is laying on the floor, stand down.” “Bu-” “Stand down Cpt. Iron Hoof.” The kind voice said in a stern tone. “Yes your majesty.” He said, Shawn could he loud clops after that. “Iron hoof...” Shawn chuckled weakly. “I’ll be honest... Never heard a name like that before.” “And we’ve never seen a creature like you before, what’s your name?” The kind voice asked. He began to think, for some reason two names came to mind. Shawn and Rick. “I believe it is Rick, you will have to forgive me, my mind is a bit fuzzy.” “Okay Rick, why are you here and how did you teleport into the middle of Canterlot?” He began to think. “Something about a portal, I was following or chasing someone or something.” “What were you chasing? Is it dangerous?” “I believe it can be, I can remember explosives, traps, and fire around it, but I think it ca-” “Princess! A monster has appeared in the market!” Another male chime in. “Bring in a small platoon and comb the city for it, what did it look like?” “It looked like a Diamond dog, stood on two legs, wore a suit, and had no face!” Shawn’s eyes opened wide. “That’s it! That sounds like the thing I was chasing.” The room falls silent for a moment. “Send in all the guards, this creature is very dangerous, get all the civilians inside!” The kind voice bellows. A series of ‘Yes princess!’ echoed throughout the room as they all made their way out of the room, their footsteps fading away. Shawn began to push himself off the floor, struggling slightly, then suddenly began to float off of the floor. “No need to struggle, we will take care of your injuries while we capture the creature.” She said. “You have my name but, I do not remember hearing yours.” “My name is Celestia, Princess of Equestria.” The pearl landed in the middle of a small market place, and apparently it was not the most subtle of entrances as all eyes were on him the second he appeared. Beneath the mask a mischievous grin formed on Sketch’s face. In silence they all stared at him, frozen in terror, but he stood there for another reason, he was surrounded by pastel colored ponies. This is a new dream, Slenderman with ponies, eh, it works One of the ponies with wings approached him from the side. “Stop right there! What are you?” Sketch’s head slowly turned to face the guard, with the Ender pearl still in his right hand he balled it up into a fist, worked the pearly to his thumb and used his thumb to flick it, landing right in front of the guard. He appeared in front of the guard, motionless, not saying a word, the guard getting all the more frightened. “Stay back!” The guard took a few steps back, Sketch flicked the pearl with his thumb again and this time appeared behind the guard. The guard was mildly startled and unsheathed his sword, however as soon as he did Sketch grabbed hold of it in his left hand, flicked the pearl and teleported with it, leaving the guard unarmed. Having no need for it, he laid the short sword on the ground to his side, he looked up and noticed a fruit stall across the market, he flicked the pearl and teleported over to the stand. Staring down at the frightened stall owner she is trembling where she stands, Sketch reaches out slowly. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” The pony screams. However, he isn’t reaching for her, but for one of her apples, he takes it in his grasp, and polishes it off on his suit. What happened next truly terrified them, as he pulled up enough of the morphsuit mask to reveal his mouth as he took a bite out of the apple. “If they have no idea what I am, I wonder how badly something peeling off part of it’s face to eat will scar them?” Sketch thought. After eating the apple down to the core he pulled down the mask again and threw the pearl over the buildings behind it. He immediately turned around and bowed in an over dramatic fashion before disappearing in a puff of purple smoke. Shawn laid in what appeared to be a infirmary, his eyes finally adjusted to the point where he could make out shapes. He saw his armor and sword laying on the table across the room. “Finally awake? Celestia said you were some monster hunter.” A female voice said from the doorway. Shawn turned to look at her, and what he saw almost made his brain implode. “What in the world? Are you a pony, that can talk?” Shawn scratched the back of his head. “Can’t say i’ve seen that before.” “Of course I’m a pony, what else would I be?” She looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow “Well, pardon me, I come from a place where ponies can’t talk.” “Well we can and do here, why were you wearing all that armor anyways?” Shawn scratched his chin in thought. “As I said before, my mind is a bit fuzzy, I believe I was chasing something and we had come across a portal of sorts. I guess that I had the armor to protect myself from it.” “Is that monster really that dangerous? It’s been teleporting around the city eating apples, I heard the guards said it’s dangerous, but all it does is stare at them. What’s does it want?” “I’m not sure, all I know is that it follows it’s targets. After a long time of its miss matched teleporting it finally does... Something.” “Something?” The pony seemed a little frightened at his vague answer. He sighed. “I am sorry I can not give you a better answer, I can only remember so much and even then I feel as though something is wrong.” With that the pony left and Shawn fell back asleep while Sketch wrecked havoc on the citizens of Canterlot, those poor ponies...
2. The morning after Rick (Shawn) awoke the next day after a night of restful sleep. He turned over and looked out the window to his right, he marveled at the world he had ended up in. The picturesque landscape of the valley below the castle, the clear blue sky above with a large white mass of cloud in the distance. Out of habit, he turned to his left, pulling the covers off and started to stand. Before he could throw his legs over the side of his bed he seized up. Using his elbows to slowly prop himself up he attempted once more to try and get out of the bed. He slowly tried to move once more, taking a careful step onto the floor below. After rolling his shoulders he placed his forearm on the nightstand to the side of his bed. Wincing in pain he pushed himself upright. He looked around, trying to find a clock or something to tell the time. Eventually his eyes rested upon a round metal alarm clock on the side table. The time was eight thirty-six AM. He began his trek to the other side of the room towards his gear. Upon reaching his gear he took list of what was there. The worn iron chestplate was leaning against the wall, it was simplistic in design, a medieval style iron chestplate that curved around the torso with round curved plates on the shoulders. The arm guards lay next to it, leathers straps folded neatly beneath them, the plate legs rested on there as well, laid out along the table. Under the table lay the scratched, dented, and dirty boots. Apparently the armor set had been cleaned recently aside from the boots for some reason. He noticed something was off, he was missing something. His armor laid on a table as did his sword in its sheath, but he felt like he was missing a part of his equipment. He looked down at his clothing, he wore a blue overshirt with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, fingerless brown gloves, dark blue pants and brown belt buckle boots. Checking his pockets he found that he had nothing in them. He looked at his chestplate once more and shook his head. ‘With the way I am, I don’t think I can support the weight.’ He turned towards the door on his left, in the doorway stood a taller pony than the one yesterday, the jawline made it look male. “Finally able to move around I see. You had us worried for a second, when you fell you hit your head pretty hard.” “How far did I fall exactly?” Rick asked. “About nineteen feet, you appeared in the middle of the throne room when you appeared, and I mean middle, almost the exact center, and fell onto the marble floor.” He said, nonchalantly flipping through a few papers on a clipboard that floated next to him. Rick looked back to his armor once more. “I would like to say thanks as well, not only for the help but for cleaning up my armor.” “Not a problem, after all, you are a patient and guest here.” He said curtly before walking away. He began to think. Wait, a guest of where? In a lush park in central Canterlot, Sketch laid on a bench, the sun rudely woke him up, that, and the horribly uncomfortable position he had slept in. With a groan he sat up, stretched and popped his back loudly. That’s much better. He stood up and looked down at the bench, in the dark of the night he hadn’t noticed how filthy it was, dirt and dust covered it with some bird droppings on the back of it. He quickly began to brush himself off, but realized something, his suit was perfectly clean, none of the dirt or grime had stuck to his suit. I’m not even going to ask. He began rolling his shoulders, loosening himself up after a bad sleep, getting ready for the days events, he sat down on the bench again and began to think of what he could do today. Little did he know a small pink colored egg rolled out of his left pocket and onto the bench where it fell between the boards and landed on the ground with a distinct pop. What was th- Suddenly underneath the bench a full grown pig spawned, holding the bench on it’s back, not even noticing it was there. Sketch’s eyes went wide, he knew he had an Ender pearl in his right pocket, but what was in his left? He dug into his pocket and felt many small little marble, he took one from his pocket and held it up to his eye, it was a small pink egg with darker pink speckles. Oh, I know what I’m doing today... With the pig beneath him carrying him and the bench he sat on without a care in the world he took a large handful of the pink pig eggs from his pocket and tossed them all in random directions. Let them eat bacon... With nothing left to do in his room, Rick left his room in full armor and wandered the hall, the halls were magnificent, large marble columns with large doors on either side of the hall, each standing several meters high. He kept walking, noticing the occasional table with a vase of flowers on it, he looked down and realized the entire length of the hallway had a never-ending red carpet. He peered down the hallway, trying to find an end to it, but it just seemed to go on forever, the corridors heading left and right but the hallway did not seem to end. Eventually he had decided to head down one of the hallways at random, hoping to find someone in the massive building. After another twenty minutes he found himself in a massive dining room, the entire right side of it was covered with enormous stained glass windows, the light came through them, coloring the room with a bright spectrum of colors. As he stared at it in its beauty he failed to notice someone sneaking up behind him. “What are you doing in here, shouldn’t you be in the kitchen with the help?” A snooty voice called out behind him in an annoying tone. “And pray tell, what exactly are you? Some sort of pet monkey? No, you have a sword, the guards must be getting desperate.” Rick turned around to face an alabaster white pony with a long horn on his head, he had a dull blonde mane that went down his neck, he had a vest and bow tie on, because you know, bow ties are awesome. Unfortunately, this pony was not awesome, he was downright arrogant. Rick raised a brow. “And who exactly are you?” “I am Prince BlueBlood, and who are you, and why are you in my castle?” “I am Rick Fuoco, and how is this your castle anyhow? I have yet to meet with the queen or king of this kingdom. So far I have met Princess Celestia, who I believe might be your sister, and you, Prince.” “Oh... So you’re one of aunty’s projects? Shouldn’t you be in your cage?” “I do not have time to deal with a stuck up Prince who seems to get less respect than that of a homeless fool.” Rick said as he crossed his arms and looked around the room once more he noticed some ponies in butler and maid outfits setting plates at the far end of the table. “Excuse me!” He said while walking towards one of the servants, startling the one in the maid as she eeped. “Y-Yes?” “Would it be possible for me to get some food, I am a bit malnourished.” “We h-have some fruit.” She pointed a hoof towards a bowl in the middle of the table, there were various types of fruit: durians, dates, apples, oranges, pears, bananas, pomegranates, and many other varieties. “Could I just take two apples and be on my way?” She nodded, still looking up at him. “Thank you, I will be on my way I guess.” Rick said after grabbing the apples, then began to walk away. Rick stops immediately, as if feeling something were to go horribly wrong... Horribly, horribly wrong. And just then a pig flies through the window, shattering the intricate stained glass mural, sending glass everywhere. The pig smacks the wall and flashes red, it hits the ground twenty feet below, flashes red again and disappears in a poof of smoke, leaving only two pork chops in its place. Rick ran to the window, he looked out what remained of the bottom half of the window and saw... “Oh please no...”
3. Porkchops on paradeAfter despawning the pig beneath his bench, and spawning one with a carrot on a stick attached Sketch spent over four hours spawning nothing but pigs in the park, and in the process a few piglets were born. A few had gotten over the fence and escaped into the city, oh well, they are just starting early. Now this, this is an army! Sketch thought to himself, standing atop the pig with a carrot on a stick attached to it. Now for the fun to begin... Sketch hopped on the tops of the pigs like they were stepping stones as he made his way to the back of the park, behind the mob of pigs. He slapped a pig on its butt, startling it, and in turn set the rest off as they fled towards the city at a very rushed pace. He ran over the pigs and hoped back to his pig, dangling the carrot in front of its face. Yes my piggies, flood the city. Back in the dining hall everyone had gathered to see what commotion was, even Princess Celestia came running when she heard the shattered glass hitting the floor. “How in Equestria did a pig fly through the window, hit the wall, and disappear?!” One of the guards shouted, poking the pork chops on the ground with his shortsword. “Rick, is it him?” Celestia asked. “I can’t tell, but this does seem like he is toying with us, take a look.” Rick said while gesturing the window he was looking out of. “Sister! The garden has been overtaken by square pigs!” A large deep blue winged unicorn ran in, her mane like the night sky with several stars twinkling. “Where are they coming from?” Celestia asked no one in particular. “Look, over there!” He pointed out the window, over the hill outside of the town a large pink mass began to pour into the city like an endless waterfall. Celestia’s jaw drops. “How are there that many pigs? How does that thing do that?” “He has an infinite supply of the creatures from where we are from, but I can’t remember how h-Duck!” They all heeded his warning and ducked, and another pig was sent flying through the window, this time smacking Rick in the face, sending him flying back into the wall . The pig once again blinks red and disappears, leave one raw porkchop on his chest plate. Rick slowly pushed himself onto his feet. “Yeah... He’s messing with us.” He said, standing up as the pork chop slide down his chest plate before it plopped on the floor. “How do we stop this invasion?” “I would say kill them off, but even I know there is too much... Perhaps we can lead them away from the city.” “Rally the guards, stop them from getting in the palace.” Celestia orders calmly, the closest guard saluted her and galloped out. “Sister, why are these pigs square and what is that?” The blue winged unicorn asked. “He is a hero that was transported here while he was chasing down a creature, the same creature leading the...” Celestia put her left fore hoof to her face and audibly sighed. “Leading the army of pigs.” “And to answer the square part, that is what most things are like where I am from...” “No time for cultural sharing, we have to get rid of these pigs, they are flooding the streets!” Celestia motioned the blue one and Rick over to the window, they looked down unto the streets, pigs filled the streets, ponies dragged apart in a literal sea of pigs, foals being separated from their parents as they sink into the stampede of swine. To their right they heard the sound of wood snapping as they reached the market. “Luna, assemble the night guard, we need all the help we can ge-...” Celestia stops mid sentence as in the middle of the parade of pork there sat the creature (Sketch) atop one of the pigs on a saddle dangling a carrot in front of it’s face. “But... Why pigs?” Luna asked, Celestia just stared. “They seem to be controlled slightly, he is using the carrot to lead them a bit.” Just as Rick said this the creature took notice of the figures in the castle and just stared in their general direction until they lost sight of each other as he rounds the corner of a building. “Oh no...” Celestia looked mildly worried as she said this. “What seems to be the problem?” “They’re headed for the front entrance.” “Then I guess I am headed there as well.” Rick said while grabbing the handle of his sword, he unsheathed it and stormed out of the room heading down the hall, hoofsteps could be heard behind him as someone chased after him. “Stop, you’re going the wrong way, that leads to the gardens, the pigs already have that.” The stallion said, standing behind him, Rick promptly turned about face and followed the stallion to the front gates. “From the road they are taking it will take them twenty minutes to reach the castle, load the catapults, man the castle walls, put up barricades! Whatever you do don’t let that monster in!” A charcoal black stallion in golden armor turned to face him. “Where will you be assisting the troops hero?” “Perhaps the barricades, but I have a question, what is with the hero title?” “You said you were chasing that monster through a portal to defeat it right? Don’t heroes defeat monsters?” “Though heroes defeat monsters, heroes earn that title from what they accomplish. I don’t remember much before this but I don’t think I deserve that title.” “Okay then... help the men build sandbag barricades from the front gate to the front door, the more the better.” The stallion pointed Rick towards a large pile of sandbags, various other guards were already constructing them, regular ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, each wearing set of golden armor and carry a short sword on their side in a metal sheath. “I’ll help the front door, if they reach it, if enough is there it could hinder the mass.” For the next fifteen minutes Rick helped pile sandbags in a meter high wall at the bottom of the stairs as a last barricade to prevent the army of pigs entry into the castle. However as soon as the wall reached two thirds of a meter high a guard shouted. “Enemy sighted!” “How many?” Rick called out. “One! I-It has no face!” “What about the pigs?” “They are...just standing there, behind him... W-Wait, they’re all gone!” “What’s he planning?” “I don’t kn-Ah!” Suddenly a pig smacks one of the guards in the face, knocking him off the wall and into a bush at the base, the pig flashes red and disappears in a poof of smoke, this time leaving nothing in its place. “How is he strong enough to throw pigs?!” “We don’t know!? You chased him here!” The guard turned back to where the creature was, but it was gone... “I-It’s gone...” All the other guards who had been watching it were just as baffled as all that remained of it was a small puff of smoke. “It’s gone?” “Keep your eyes peeled! It has to be somewhere! Don’t let your guard down!” The guards began frantically looking for the monster with no success. “Where could he have gone?” Rick pondered as he readied his sword, unbeknownst to him the creature was close by, very close by...
4. Get a pig in that cartRick knew the creature was lurking somewhere nearby, he got out his diamond sword and looked around, when a shadow on the ground began moving towards him. “Since when could he turn invis-” He finally saw what was making the shadow, “Son of a-” A large minecart fell, leaving a small crater where Rick once stood, all the guards stood silent in confusion. “Did he just...” One of them stepped closer, inspecting the minecart, and sure enough Rick was nowhere to be seen, all that remained of the hero was his diamond sword, which laid on the ground next to the impact zone. The creature appeared suddenly in the middle of the confusion, threw a pig in the cart and disappeared before anyone could even react. “W- Why?” One of the other guards pondered as he stared at the utterly confused swine that was now stuck in the cart, somehow spinning slowly in place.
5. A stallion and his (gardening) hoeMeanwhile in the garden an obsidian ring formed and glowed bright pink as a somewhat boxy pony flew out and landed on the swarm of pigs that infested it earlier. The pony was the same size and build as the local stallions, except for one thing, he was a 32-bit pony model. (seen here). He was beige earth pony with a dirty-blonde mane and had two compact discs on his flank as his cutie mark. He also was wearing a pleather vest and carrying a diamond hoe for... reasons. “Holy crap, what happened? Where am I, and why is the ground made of pigs?” He said, riding the flood of swine out of the garden. As they ran about he watched as they carried him into a large white castle as he clutched to his hoe for dear life. “Okay, this went from weird to strange. I take it this isn’t the Nether...” The pigs only squealed and oinked in response as they ran rampant throughout the castle with him along for the ride. “Man I wish I brought a carrot, these things are driving me nuts. And everywhere else, too.” In the front courtyard the guards were frightened, the hero who was going to help them slay this otherworldly monster had just been pulverised into vapor by a rogue cart. And on top of that, and Rick, a pig was placed in the minecart, taunting them. “What do we do now captain!? The hero is gone, pigs are overrunning Canterlot and the creature is still on the loose!” The nearest guard shouted at the captain. “I- I don’t know, Rick was the only one who knew what that thing is, without him we a- duck!” He shouted as another pig flew at them, they all jumped back as the pig impacted the ground, exploded immediately on impact, and launched a raw porkchop at the captain. “This is wrong in so many ways, Celestia help us.” He said as he peeled the pork chop off his face and threw it to the side. “Well, we could always-” The guard was interrupted as the front door burst open, a sea of pigs ran out, with the blocky stallion in tow. “Great, more pigs... Wait, who are you?!” The captain shouted, pointing at the new arrival. “In deep crap, distract them or something!” “Why, you’re riding them?! And what are you even talking about!?” “I’m not riding them, I’m on top of them. Besides, I can’t make them-” Before he could finish his sentence the pig swarm began to thin out, this opened a hole in the pork on parade, which then caused him to fall flat on his face, literally. “Huh, well, you’re down now. So, back to my previous questions, what are you!?” The captain asked, looking him up and down as he got up off his face.. “Uh, a pony, I don’t know where I am though.” “But you’re so, blocky! How do you even exist? Did the monster make you too?!” The captain yelled, the surrounding guards drew their swords and approached the stallion in question. “I have no clue what monster you’re referring to, but I’m sure that whatev-” “Duck!” All the guards in the surrounding area dropped their swords and covered their heads. The cuboidal pony however could only lean down a bit, most of his body remained upright, which didn’t help him any when a pig was launched at his side, knocking him to the ground. After the pig despawned all the guards and their Captain got up, they all looked down as the blocky pony was stuck on his side, unable to get up. “A little help, please?” The pony whined as his legs flailed around, yet never seemed to be able to move side to side, only forwards and backwards. “You really can’t get up?” One of the guards stepped forward, he laughed a bit as he watched the grounded stallion flail about. “No, now help me out! Laugh all you want once I’m standing, okay?” “Alright, alright, stop yer whining, what’s yer name?” The guard to his right asked, he used his sword, wedged it under the colt and propped him upright. “Uh, just call me CD... but where am I? This looks pretty familiar, but a bit too... round.” “You’re in Canterlot, and in the middle of an invasion.” “Invasion? Canterlot? Neither of those things fit, everything’s too... bulky. And why are the pigs giving you trouble?” “Some faceless monster in a suit was chased here by a hero with a diamond sword, the monster summoned an army of pigs, invaded the city, and just recently got rid of the hero. Oh, and now he is throwing pigs at us that are as heavy as boulders, need anything else? Perhaps a cup of warm milk and a cookie?” “No need to be facetious. And pigs aren’t a problem if you have a carrot. Hold one in front of them and they’ll follow you anywhere, just lead them somewhere they won’t be a nuisance.” “How do you know that’d work?” “Uh, they’re pigs, don’t you know that pigs would jump off a cliff for a carrot? Duh.” “No, no I didn’t, nor did this riveting conversation convince me otherwise.” “Well, fine, I’m going to find some cov-” CD was interrupted as a group of pigs smacked into the balconies overhead, causing pork chops to rain down upon them. “Crap, I’m getting inside. I’m gonna smell like uncooked bacon for a week.” None of the guards commented on that and followed him inside to avoid the downpourk, unfortunately for them the inside of the castle was not much better. As they entered the castle all they saw were mobs of maids and butlers trying to corral the rampaging pigs to little effect as they destroyed the palace. “Jeez, did your farm run out of room? Wait, you said some faceless monster made them. Okay, just hit the pigs until they fall over.” “You want us to beat farm animals to death?” A random guard asked. “Well, only if you want to. Although th-” “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!” One of the larger guards screamed as he charged a pig, he brought his sword down onto the pig with all his strength, yet the pig remained unfazed, it just looked at him with those empty eyes. “Huh, what’s your sword made of?” “Steel, we have only the best weapons.” He said as they all watched the same guard try to beat the pig to a pulp to no avail as his weapon repeatedly bounced off of it. “The best, huh? Well, you must not be very good at making swords then, you can just hit the dumb things. Watch.” CD motioned the now tired guard to step aside, with the pig cornered it only took CD thirteen punches before the pig fell to its side and poofed, leaving yet another raw pork chop on the floor. “See? Really, what kind of weaponsmiths do you have?” “Who are you to criticise us when you carry around a gem encrusted gardening tool!” “The guy who can kill a pig with his hooves faster than you can with a sword. I mean really? Anyway, just get some carrots and get these things out of here, it’s starting to stink.” “If you’re so great why don’t you go do your carrot plan while we do something useful.” “Because I don’t know where you store your produce. I’ve got no clue where I am.” The guards ignored him and went back to gathering up the remaining pigs. “Okay, fine, I’ll go raid your pantry, once I find it. And try weapons that work.”
