How the Tables Turn

Phoenix woke up. He was in Ashes’ house. He began to get up, wincing at the second headache he had that day. He got up off the bed, stumbling slightly. The light blinded him, worsening his headache tenfold. He got to the hallway, only to be met by Ashes, who gently pushed him back into the bedroom.

“Stay in bed, Phoenix. You need your rest.”

“What happened?”

“You went rage mode, I bit your tail and held you in place, and I guess you overheated and passed out.”

“Rage mode?”

“You were pretty pissed, Phoenix.”

Phoenix rolled his eyes. “I understand that part. Why was I mad?”

“You don’t remember? They tampered with the drawing.”

The afternoon’s events flooded into his mind, returned by confirmation of their existence. “Right.” He laid back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was still angry, but he knew tipping himself over the edge again would do him no good. He contended himself with dull frustration instead, keeping his bitter mood to a minimum. “Where’s everypony else?”

“Your house. We can head over if you feel up to it, but you’re getting back in bed once you do.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go.” Phoenix took care to move at a slower pace, moving along at the gentlest of trots as he tried not to aggravate his aching head. Ashes got the door for Phoenix, who trotted past and got the next door for Ashes. He trotted into his house, greeted by the sight of the four mares sitting inside. “I’m never gonna get used to that.”

“Who said you have to?” Phoenix winced. Rainbow began speaking at a quieter tone. “Sorry. Was that too loud?”

Phoenix sighed, slowly trotting into the house and sitting down in the living room. “Sorry if I flew off the handle earlier. It’s just… Who does she think she is? You three have nothing to do with what goes on in here, so why should she drag you down with us?”

“Oh no you don’t. Come on, Phoenix. You need your rest. Come to think of it, we all do.”

“Wait, what? It’s only afternoon.” Phoenix was getting awkward stares from the mares in the room with him. “Ashes? How long was I out?”

Ashes glanced at the clock and quickly did the math. “We got back from the cafeteria at 12:30, soooo… Ten hours?”

The color drained from Phoenix’s face. “Ten hours. What the hell kind of blind rage was I going through that I put myself under for TEN HOURS???”

“Phoenix, calm down! Freaking out isn’t going to help. Just… get to bed. You need to rest. I’ll even stay with you if you want.” If she had meant that seductively, Phoenix ignored it.

“Okay, fine. You’re the medic here.” Ashes rolled her eyes. They went to the bedroom and settled down for the night.

All was quiet in the house. They slept in pairs, save for Rainbow. Phoenix couldn’t seem to get to sleep. Neither could ashes. They both gave up on sleep and began making small talk.

“Hey, Phoenix?”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell did you do to your back?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“But-“

“Don’t. Want. To. Know.”

“…Okay.”

They fell silent for a moment, simply gazing into each other’s eyes. Phoenix seemed intent upon simply staring into Ashes’ eyes for an eternity (as usual), but Ashes’ eyes were filled with cautios curiosity as she stared at Phoenix.

“Phoenix?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your real name?”

Phoenix tensed up. This was a conversation Phoenix had managed to avoid for a long time. “What do you mean, real name? My name is White Phoenix.”

“It’s just that… Well, you’ve gone by that name for nineteen years. Your parents chose a name for you when you were born.”

“Right.”

“But… Is the name your parents chose for you the same as the one you’ve used for so long?”

“…My name is White Phoenix.”

Ashes rolled her eyes. He was clearly doing everything he could to avoid the matter at hoof. “Phoenix-“

“I don’t know, okay?” Apparently his sentence came across harsher than he’d meant it, judging by Ashes’ wince. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. It’s just… Well, my parents were killed the day I was born, so if they chose a name for me, so be it. I’ve been told Mistress was the only one present for my birth, though. According to everypony I’ve spoken to about it, the story goes like this:

“It was my mom, my dad, Mistress, and me. I was born, my parents chose a name, and then Mistress killed them.” He spoke with absolutely no sensitivity, for Ashes or himself, despite the depressing matter that was being spoken of. The Underground does that to you, though. You go through so much that it’s simply impossible to be depressed. Either you go all out for escape, as they were doing, or you lose all pretense of emotion, which went for anypony else in the Underground. But everypony loses their sensitivity to pain of any kind. It's just how things work.

“Mistress came out holding me and said exactly this:

“The foal’s parents have chosen a name for him. Therefore he shall be known as White Phoenix.

“Whether or not that was the name my parents chose for me, Mistress never said to anypony. So, if White Phoenix isn’t my real name, which, knowing Mistress, I have no reason not to believe that, then I don’t know my real name. Nopony does.”

“That… That must be awful, not knowing if ponies have been calling you by your real name.”

“So far, Mistress has done everything she can to make sure I have nothing. I have no identity, no peace of mind, no parents, no dignity. It doesn’t depress me to not have any of that. It just angers me that Mistress gets to have her satisfaction from all of that.”

“You really hate her, don’t you?”

“With a passion that burns like a thousand suns. As far as I’m concerned, she is the source of everything that is bad in the world. When she’s wiped from existence, everything will be perfect harmony and peace, and nothing would bring me more pleasure than to be the one who does the deed of ending her – no, it. She isn’t a mare. She’s a creature.”

“Well, she’ll get hers in time. And besides, there is one thing Mistress hasn’t taken from you.” Ashes brought her muzzle forward, and Phoenix met her halfway, locking the two of them in a passionate kiss. It wasn’t heated. There was no need for it, and besides, acting on their passion with these paper-thin walls would simply make for awkward breakfast conversations, not to mention alerting every guard in the Underground to what they were up to, and they would only catch hell for it. It was just… simple. And yet, so many emotions were communicated and shared in that kiss.

Neither of them wanted it to end, but eventually lack of oxygen forced them to part. They pulled away from each other, panting slightly, blushes burning in their faces when they realized how long they had been like that.

“You know, I’d almost say it’s a fair trade. All the pain and suffering, and the indignity to boot, in exchange for getting to be with the greatest mare in the world? I’d say it’s worth it.”

Ashes giggled at Phoenix. “Since when were you all sappy like this?” Suddenly a shuffling sounded from the other room.

“Who said what about sappy?”

Phoenix was glad it was dark, because he had just about the reddest face he’d ever accomplished in his life. Thankfully weak snoring from the next room confirmed that Rainbow Dash had fallen back to sleep, so their conversation could continue.

“I am not sappy. I’m just saying, you’re the best. Since when is that sappy?” Ashes facehoofed. Why did she have to fall for someone so clueless?

“Since when is it not sappy to say that 33 trips to a torturefest is a fair trade for your marefriend?”

“34.”

“My point exactly.”

“You’re not just a marefriend, though. You’re more than that, even. You truly are the only reason I have to live. You’re the only thing I have left to care about. To lose you would be to lose everything. You are the world to me.” Ashes would’ve rolled her eyes so hard they would’ve never stopped if it weren’t for how serious he was.

“You’re important to me, too, Phoenix. You may not be all I have left to lose, but you’re definitely number one on the list of the ponies I care about.” She wrapped her forelegs around him, pulling him close and resting her head on his shoulder. Slowly, her eyelids fluttered shut and she drifted off to sleep.

Phoenix had finally reached a state of closure. He had no more secrets to hide from Ashes anymore. It felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his chest, replaced by the head of the mare he loved. He gently squeezed her, holding her tightly, and he never let go. Slowly, he joined her in her dreams.